The morning sun rose and peered through the window of Anonymous' master bedroom. His eyelids were no match as the sunbeams slowly woke him up, despite his plans to sleep on a Sunday morning. While the Equestrians didn't call it Sunday, Anon referred to it as such in a useless act of defiance to maintain his earthly norms. He yawned and scratched his impressively packed nuts hidden in his green underwear with a giant question mark adorned over the main prize.

"Fine! I'm awake....stupid ass sun...''

After a good shower, he got into his casual shorts and t-shirt before getting a cup of coffee. One sip later, his attitude pulled a 180 from "Annoyed as hell" to "Yeah, I'm okay with this.". As he ate a bowl of marshmallow Minnie-MooniesTM and a banana, he wondered what he was going to do on his last day off.

"I only have one day left before I go to work; what will I do?

As he looked into his living room, he was reminded of his limited options. Cable TV and Youtube weren't options since Equestria lacked the same robust telecommunications goodies earth had. It was rather regrettable since home entertainment was mainly made for Equestria's super social family and friend structure. If you were an earthly human bachelor or otherwise loner, you were boned. Yeah, he had a SNES equivalent and TV.....of sorts. Equestria was still lagging behind in the video game consoles department, which was okay, but the titles were mostly pony suited. They were new at first, but the unique charm wore off as the similarities of earth games became more apparent. Since there was no internet, he had no computer, which meant no PC master race.

Taking another bite of his usual breakfast, Anon disregarded the game console. His eye made their way to the bookshelf, which was stacked with a decent collection of books. While mostly filled with fiction, a good amount of helpful non-fiction was amongst the rest. Anon did have to admit Twilight did give him a good collection of books suited to his tastes, and unlike Spike, he never let a gift in the form of a book go to waste. The problem was, he'd read them all...

"All read, nothing new. And I don't feel like brushing up on my math and Obscure Unicorn History...."

Of course, he could head to the local crystal castle and ask for a couple new books, but knowing Twilight Sparkle, she would want to chat with him. He wasn't in the mood for chatty ponies, boring scientific lessons, and the occasional request for odd magical experiments. She did get a bit better with her weird quirks and was still a nice and cute pony. If it was just Spike at the castle, it would be cool to hang with him, but he had been busy as of late. Same for Starlight Glimmer; she was pretty cool but was unusually busy. Same for Big Mac; neither he nor the dragon was around for a good game of DnD. He didn't like the title Ogres and Oubliettes as it sounded like a dollar store rip-off.

Putting away his dishes in the sink, Anon groaned,

"Good fucking GOD!!!! I wanna stay in and avoid the ponies for a change, but it's boring! Seriously, I love you little horses, but hurry up and invent the cyber, for Christ's sake!"

A flash of lightning boomed and startled the man. Even though ponies created the weather with magic, God apparently heard the name of the Son taken in vain and decided to punish him.

"Woah, it was sunny just an hour ago, and now it's pissing rain?...... Eh fuck it, don't feel like leaving still. But it's still boring."

Anon sat his ass in the master chair in his living room and pondered his options.

"Again, games? Meh. Books? Maybe there's something I've missed?"

Anon got right back up and sifted through the book cabinet one last time.

"Let's see, Cooking for Grandma? Pass. Equestrian History 101? Already read it. Secret porno stash of mags hidden in a fake book cover?"

Opening the disguised book was a small set of naughty mags designed to be easily hidden. Most of them consisted of hot pony butts due to the lack of proper human bobs, but the pony vegana was more or less the same as a woman's. Anon lucked out on that one, one of several silver linings of being separated from Earth. From Mare Butts Monthly to Giggity Griffins, Anon put the sexy collection back in the hidden book cover. He jacked off quite a bit last night and felt like avoiding a self-nutting session for now. His balls after did hurt last night, so it was better to not risk it.

"Already done that. Don't wanna hurt mah boys. Let's see......I've read'em all, it seems. These books are too pony-like. I like these equine guys and gals, but damn, they're just too clean! No fart jokes, no stupidly immature stuff, nothing. All PG-rated humor and shit...."

Before resigning to his fate of boredom, eyes made their way over to the desk in the corner. He had loads of Ye Old school Parchment paper and Quills sitting there. He made a couple of doodles, shopping lists, and random notes here and there, but nothing else...until it hit him like a load of steaming...

"SHIT! That's it! That's the answer! SHIT SHIT SHEEEEEEET! HO-YEAH!"

Anon pulled the small desk chair back and sat down. He grabbed a piece of paper and quill before he began writing. Loads of absurd story ideas were flowing in his head, and every one of them was juicy brown gold.

"Writing my own personal collection of shit fics? Yeah, this will make my ass laugh. Some coffee and good ol' writing? I think I'll be fine."

Anon was grateful as the storm raged on, providing helpful background noise. Usually, he used his Alexa back on earth for sleep noises or music, but the bitch spying device wasn't around to make herself useful. He doubted Bezos was gonna just magically send him a new one.

"Screw that scrotum head; this is where it's at! Now let's see....what kind of shit fic will I start with?"

Choosing the first pony to pop in his head, Anon went twerk and crafted his first story. Reading it to himself, he busted out laughing and set it aside before starting another. Hours and hours went by, and Anon amassed an impressive collection of his own goofball stories. And best the part was he still had plenty of paper and quills left. Organizing each story, he set them aside before heading back to the secret stash in the bookcase.

"Ya know? My balls feel better already....I'll start no nut November tomorrow....tonight wouldn't hurt, I suppose."

Putting the rest back, he carried a copy of Mega Milf Mares to his bedroom and got butt naked as the sun went down and the moon came up. He fell asleep in bed shortly after finishing.

It was now Monday morning and time for Anonymous to leave for his job. Completing his usual morning routine, he put on his Monday suit and headed to the Ponyville Bank. Sure, it wasn't the most glamorous job, but he knew his numbers and had a damn good suit to boot. Ponies did respect the man in the suit, and he owed Rarity for the wonderful job. Despite the heavy rain yesterday, the ground surprisingly wasn't bad for his shoes. Making it into town, the residents of Ponyville were moving about their daily routines and waved to Anon hello. Smiling and waving back, he turned a corner only to run into a busy dragon.

"Oof! Sorry, Anonymous, I didn't see you there."

Holding a fist bump, the man returned the greeting to the dragon.

"No problem, dude. You seemed to be in a rush. Something wrong?"

Spike caught his breath and replied,

"Yeah, Twilight needs more paper and quills. Word is there's a possible shortage due to an accident at the Baltimore Paper Mill. She wanted me to go buy some before they're sold out. News spread fast, and you know how much she uses daily."

"Woah, that's not good! But you're in luck, bro; I have a TON of them. Twilight left me a bunch when I got to my house. Something about friendship lessons and that I'll need them and what not. You can have the rest of them."

The dragon's eyes widened in surprise.

"Seriously!? Thanks! This saves me the trip to the store and competing with every pony."

Doing his best Fonzi pose, Anon replied,

"Aaaay! No problem, bro! Just take them all; I don't need them. I'll buy some more when this all blows over. The door is unlocked, and they're on a desk in the living room corner near the front entrance. I gotta get to the bank, so I'll see you later."

"Thanks! We need to play OnO sometime! Big Mac will be free later this week!"

Spike immediately ran off and waved goodbye before making a beeline to his house. Smiling to himself, the man walked to the bank and went inside, confident this day couldn't go wrong.

Then it happened.....he detected a disturbance in the NotForceTM.

I forgot something......I left the Milf Mag in the living room.....Eh, he can have it; he's around that age anyway. Better to introduce him to the right kind of ladies. This is fine."

And off twerk, he went.

Author's Note

Just an introduction chapter, I hope it's off to a good start. I haven't written a shit fic, so I'm giving it a shot. I'll be writing the first story Anon made one soon. I hope it's enjoyable enough. And yes, I made that cover art. 11/1 would do it again.