Cupcake Factory

“Torture session with colgate the dentist. (Edit: Wonder why ponies are so afraid to visit the dentist.)” -Xaerouzle

Cupcake Factory

By Nero Darkard (aka. NeroTheDarklord)

Chapter 8: Digging through the cavities

It was a day like every other. After Colgate spent the last hour surgically cleaning her own teeth, she opened her dental clinic and waited for her patients. And just like every other day, she had next to none signed in from Ponyville. Most of her patients came from all across Equestria. It seemed like dentists are quite rare in a society of vegetarians. But why did the locals avoid her? Colgate was completely unaware of the fact that she built up quite the reputation by now. It did not take long before her first patient entered. A brown earth pony stallion.

“Ah! Welcome! I am doctor Colgate!” she greeted happily.

Colgate’s assistant was in the backroom, preparing the instruments. As soon as she heard her boss welcome the first patient, she already gained a tense expression on her face. The stallion was brought to the dentist chair and laid down on it.

“Alright. We will begin by sedating the area,” Colgate announced and picked up a syringe.

In one swift motion, she rammed the whole needle into the patient’s face and emptied the syringe. The stallion could only twitch in shock and pain for a few seconds before the medicine kicked in and he lost consciousness.

“Um… doctor. I don’t think you are supposed to give him the full dose,” the assistant spoke in the background.

“SHUT UP NURSE! I KNOW WHAT’S BEST! I’M A DOCTOR!” Colgate started yelling.

The assistant twitched a bit, then stepped back and lowered her head. Colgate sighed in frustration. After catching herself again, she turned around to her computer, opened up a lifestream and activated her webcam.

“Hi, everypony! My name is Colgate and welcome back to the dentist show! Now, today we are working with a few patients complaining about cavities. Of course they wouldn’t even have to complain if they would just brush their teeth everyday… But that’s a different story,” she started talking into the webcam.

The nurse stood outside of the screen. She knew Colgate hated it when she stood around in the background, so she just waited in a corner and waited for instructions.

“Now before we start, I have to remind you like every time that being a dentist is maybe the hardest job in Equestria and that there is a lot that can go wrong. Please make sure no foals are watching and if you do not appreciate graphic imagery, I recommend you to leave right now,” the dentist finished.

After that, she turned around and went over to the unconscious stallion, placing her front legs on the table with the tools.

“We need to give this patient a cavity fix. Can we do it? Well, with my skill and determination, I am certain that we can,” she stated proudly

Colgate opened the stallion’s mouth and began to examine the damage.

“Hmmm… Let’s see here… Oh, yes. Okay, good. Uh, nurse! Twentyseven cc’s of hydromorganflurbenswurben, please,” Colgate announced.

The nurse instantly turned around, picked up a clean syringe and filled it with the requested medication, even though that was not exactly the actual name. But who is she to argue with the doctor? She just placed it with the other medical tools and stepped out of the camera again.

After injecting the whole syringe at once into the patient again, Colgate picked up a drill that was obviously too large for this.

“Alright so let’s geeeeently start by-” she started before slipping from her chair and ramming the drill down the patient’s throat.

Again, the nurse just stood behind the scenes, twitched and made uneasy grimaces while the drill rotated around in the stallion’s mouth, a fountain of blood spraying all around.

Colgate quickly got up again, turned off the drill and slowly removed it again. Luckily, no vital parts were damaged. There was just a lot of blood in the patient’s mouth.

“Okay so this was obviously not the best choice,” Colgate apologized into the camera.

The dentist turned the stallion’s head to the side, letting the blood flow out into a sink. After that, she began to check if the jaw still functioned properly. But just moments later, a grin started growing on her face.

Colgate started laughing in a deep voice like a retard while constantly opening and closing the stallion’s mouth and shaking his head left and right.

“Hoo hoo hoo! Hoooooo, hoo hoo!” she spoke, making his mouth motions fit the noises.

“Um… Doctor, I think you are supposed to be working on his cavities,” the assistant spoke meekly.

“SHUT UP, NURSE! OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT’S BEST!” Colgate shouted back instantly.

Again, the assistant could only step back and gain a tense frown. She knew Colgate would snap at her if she just dared to open her mouth. But sometimes, she just had to remind doctor Colgate of what she needed to do. It was part of her job.

“Alright, so… Let’s try the hammer now,” Colgate announced, picking up a hammer from the table.

After taking a big swing, she started to smash the patient’s face in. Bits of bone and blood were flying all across the room. Then she began to swipe the hammer from left to right in the stallion’s mouth.

“What’s the matter? You don’t feel so good. You don’t look so good either. But that’s just because you’re ugly. Hehehe,” Colgate spoke to the sedated patient in a cheeky tone.

Suddenly, a breaking sound could be heard and the hammer stopped moving. Soon after, Colgate’s face started showing an expression of utter shock.

“Oh no. I’m stuck! I’m stuck!” she started shouting in panic while pulling on the hammer with no effect.

The assistant opened her mouth again to give off a judging statement, but she stopped herself from doing so. She would only cause Colgate to snap again. As always, she decided to just stay back and watch.

After one more strong pull, the hammer finally came out, but caused an open fracture in the stallion’s jaw. The assistant was just so relieved to know that he was unconscious right now. The pain would be so extreme otherwise.

“Alright,” Colgate started, sweat running down from her forehead and panting. “We’re doing pretty good. And by pretty good I mean pretty bad!”

Colgate needed to hurry now or the patient would suffer from severe blood loss. She just shoved her whole hoof into his mouth and started steering around.

“Alright, what do I got? I don’t even know what I got,” she stated before pulling her hoof back to present a piece of the jaw. “There we go! Ripped a bone out… Just like I’m supposed to… Just like daddy taught me.”

Colgate’s expression suddenly became furious and she stared at the ceiling while holding the piece of bone tightly.

“Daddy! He never thought that I could be a dentist. He never thought I could be a dentist!” she started babbling furiously while forcefully shoving her hoof back in the patient’s mouth.

“Doctor, don’t you think you should focus on the pat-” the assistant started.

“SHUT UP, NURSE! SHUT UP!” Colgate screamed in rage while presenting a lump of flesh to her assistant. “I just ripped out his tongue! DON’T THINK I WON’T DO THE SAME THING TO YOU!”

Colgate was at her stress limit again. The nurse thought she’d better be quiet for a while now, or Colgate would walk the talk. Without even giving herself the time to calm down, the doctor turned back to her patient’s mouth.

“What is this? In the back of the throat. There’s a large bony structure in here. That can’t be good for the patient,” she stated.

Colgate turned around and picked up the largest set of pliers she could find. Diving right back into the stallion’s mouth, she grabbed the bone tightly and began to pull with full force.

“Ugh! Cooperate with me, man! Cooperate with me! COOPERATE WITH ME, MAN!” Colgate shouted as she put her full force into pulling out the bone.

Finally, it gave in. With a very loud snapping sound, it came loose and Colgate fell over backwards. After she came back up again, she realized that the bone she just ripped out was in fact a bit of his spine.

“Oh no… No, no, no…” she spoke in disbelief.

Colgate instantly began to check his breath and pulse, but both where gone. She tried to reanimate him for about five minutes, but ultimately broke out in tears and gave up. She just collapsed on his chest and let her head hanging from the other end of the chair.

“I lost another one…” she spoke, then raised her head and front legs into the sky. “Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

The nurse had remorse written all over her face. All she could do now was moving the biohazard container in front of the dentist chair. As soon as it was in place, Colgate instantly stopped crying and jumped up with a big smile on her face.

“Alright, next patient!” she spoke happily while pushing the body into the container.

While Colgate went out into the waiting room, it was up to her assistant to turn off the webcam while she cleaned up the mess. By Celestia, was she happy she was only the assistant and not the doctor. This job had so much responsibility and so many didn’t survive even a simple cavity treatment. She was just so lucky she could work with a talented dentist like doctor Colgate.

Right after the nurse was done and went back in her position, another patient entered. This time, it was a pegasus mare. She clearly was nervous, apparently scared of dentists. But who would blame her, knowing how dangerous a visit can be?

“Alright. No need to panic just yet. W-we’re going about this very calmly. Right, mam? Right? Right, mam? Just… caaaalmly going about this,” Colgate spoke, trying to sooth her patient.

The mare was about halfway on the chair when she suddenly stopped.

“You know what? I changed my mind! I can’t do this!” she stated, about to get up again.

Colgate just grabbed her and pressed her against the chair.

“Hehehey! Hey! Hey! It’s okay. It’s alright. I’m a doctor. I know what’s best,” Colgate started again.

The mare was still very nervous. She stared at Colgate’s front legs while she picked up the same syringe she used before and filled it with the narcotic.

Slowly, Colgate began to laugh lowly, creeping out the already very insecure mare. She was about to jump out of her chair when Colgate suddenly rammed the syringe with full force three times in her face while making aggressive noises. It wasn’t clear what knocked her out. The medicine or the cranial trauma. But one thing was for sure: She would not struggle or feel anything anymore.

“Alright. So…” Colgate spoke, going back over to the webcam and turning it back on. “Aaaaand we’re back! This one here needs several teeth pulled out. So let’s dive right into it!”

Colgate walked back to the other side of the seat and picked up the bloodstained hammer again. Her assistant immediately reached out her right front leg, about to say that she didn’t have the time to clean it. But it seemed like doctor Colgate already saw this herself and didn’t care. So, once again, the nurse lowered her front hoof and remained silent.

“Boop! Boop! Boop!” Colgate spoke while she smashed out the rotten teeth individually. “Just the gentlest of boops! And no, not those! Geeze…”

This time, things seemed to go much better. Blood was still spraying across the room, but that was normal. Doctor Colgate also seemed a lot happier this time, too.

“Almost got it,” she stated, lifting the hammer high up again.

By sheer accident, she hit a lamp with the hammer and caused the glass to shatter. This startled her so much that she smashed down the hammer again. But instead of hitting the rotten teeth of her patient, Colgate hit her chest.

Right after she realized what happened, Colgate apologized, wiped away the broken glass from her patient and placed her ear on her chest.

“Uh oh. Your heart stopped,” Colgate commented casually.

As if it was the most normal thing in the world, this dentist had a charged defibrillator standing ready with her other medical tools. She just calmly grabbed onto the panels and place them onto her patient’s chest.

“Clear!” she spoke in an almost singing tone before shocking the pegasus mare.

The patient’s chest bounced upwards. Colgate put the panels back in their sockets and placed her ear back on the mare’s chest. Moments later, she came back up and smiled.

“Got it! Saved another one!” Colgate spoke in satisfaction.

Her assistant was delighted to hear this. She couldn’t help but smile widely and lift a front leg in joy.

“Doctor, you are such a genius!” she stated happily.

“SHUT UP, NURSE! I know it!” Colgate spoke, half shouting, half full of herself.

The dentist turned back to the unconscious mare, seeing that all rotten teeth had been successfully knocked out and were rolling around in the patient’s mouth. Again, Colgate couldn’t hold back her playful instincts and grabbed onto the mare’s head.

“Whoaell, Ah don’ no what Ah need to do, doctor,” Colgate spoke, trying to imitate Applejack’s accent.

Suddenly, Colgate noticed that one of the teeth had rolled into the mare’s throat. This, though, only amused her more, letting her take over strange gagging and swallowing noises for her patient.

“Ah think Ah just swallow’d dat tooth there,” Colgate kept talking.

The dentist kept on giggling and even her assistant had to cover her mouth with a front leg to suppress a smile. But the mood changed right away as Colgate turned around to find that there is no box of dentures where there should be one.

“OH NO! Where’d the box go! Where’d the box go!” Colgate shouted in slight panic.

The nurse immediately started looking around. She opened all cupboards and all drawers, but was not able to find the box anywhere. After a while, the nurse remembered that doctor Colgate has traded the box for a golden horn ring a while back. In fact, she was wearing said ring right now! The nurse didn’t want to expose her like this on camera, so she just turned to Colgate and shook her head.

“Um. Okay. People won’t notice… Because… This girl is now gonna have…” Doctor Colgate spoke, looking around in panic for a substitute, then noticed some loose scalpel blades and picked them up. “Some super sharp…”

At that moment, it struck Colgate what a horribly bad idea this was and she dropped the scalpel blades again.

“Oh Celestia. Oh Celestia, what am I doing? People are gonna realize that I’m a fraud. I’m not a fraud! I’M NOT A FRAUD!” Colgate started mumbling, first in panic, then slipping into fury while placing her front legs on her unconscious patient’s chest. “You bitch! You think you know of the pressures? Of a doctor? You think you know?! YOU THINK YOU KNOW?!”

Colgate pinned down her patient so that the whole chair became horizontal. She brought her face so close to that of her patient that their noses were touching, her eyes getting bloodshot from the stress.

“I’M GONNA KILL YOU!” she shouted, grabbing a sharp instrument. “I don’t even know what tool this is. But I’m gonna use it! To the best of my ability!”

The mad dentist forced the mare’s mouth wide open and started stabbing her into the gums.

“The gingiva. The dental cavity! Number four! Number seven! Number twenty three! The molars! The incisors! The canines! That’s all I know! That’s all I’m ever gonna know!” Colgate shouted in rage.

One last time, she rammed the tool into the mare’s mouth. After so many repeated hits, she managed to crack a bit of the skull and shoved the pointy end right into her patient’s brain. Apparently having desired this result, Colgate started steering the tool around wildly, turning the mare’s brain into purple goop while constantly screaming. Finally, she just let go of the tool and raised her hooves and head into the air again.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” she kept on shouting.

After the webcam turned on again, another mare was laying on the freshly cleaned chair, already unconscious. This time, though, it was a familiar face.

“Sorry about that, Bon. You feeling better now? You feeling better now, Bon?” Colgate asked, then refocused the camera. “As all of you know, Bon Bon is a good friend of mine! And only she would trust me with her teeth like that. Because she knows, the quality dentist that I am.”

The assistant was busy cleaning up the used instruments. This time, she was sure doctor Colgate would succeed. After all, it was her own friend on the chair now. After a few explanations that Bon Bon needed a tooth transplant, Colgate got ready to start anew.

“This time, I need to be very careful in my excision of the dentosis equinis. So let’s take… this… precision tool… this expert, precision… um… saw here and… My ring!” Colgate suddenly shouted, dropping the hacksaw she picked up and starting to search around in Bon Bon’s mouth. “My horn ring came off!”

Colgate kept searching around. As she finally found it, she realized she somehow managed to push the ring right in between the gaps of Bon Bon’s teeth.

Again Colgate started getting frustrated. She tried to remove the ring again, but just couldn’t get a good grip on it.

“Let go! Let go, you damnit! Cooperate with me, Bon! COOPERATE WITH ME!” Colgate started shouting again.

Once more, Colgate succambed to her rage. She just ripped out all teeth that were in the way to finally retrieve her precious ring.

Colgate placed the ring back on top of her horn, grinning in satisfaction. But as she looked to what she had done to Bon Bon, an expression of shock returned. A small fountain of blood was spraying right out of her mouth.

“Oh, we are running out of time, though. We need to… Oh, we need to hurry up here! We don’t have much time here!” Colgate started babbling, then closed her patient’s mouth and held it shut with one hoof. “Shhh, shhh. Bon. It’s okay. I gotcha. I gotcha!”

In a state of panic, Colgate used several surgical instruments at once in desperate attempt to get both the teeth out and the bleeding stopped.

“I gotcha… I can’t lose Bon! Oh no. I’m running out of blood!” Colgate shouted in sheer panic.

Her assistant was very tempted to run over and help, but there was just not enough space for both of them. They would only get in each others way. All she could do now was to observe the scene, jumping in place nervously.

It was a heavy struggle and Bon Bon had become nearly even more pale than her coat already was, except of the massive amount of blood that it was soaked in. But miraculously, Colgate succeeded in stopping the bleeding. Her friend was safe.

Colgate’s front legs were shaking heavily. She was still tense all over and breathing heavily when she finally could go back to the transplant. Picking up the far too large drill again, Colgate started working her way through the remaining teeth, disregarding the fact that they were healthy and fine.

“It’s okay… I’m gonna be okay. Cuz I’m a doctor. I’m a brained medical professional…” she spoke to herself.

Nearly a minute passed until she finally realized what she just said, causing her to stop and look up to the ceiling.

“Brained… I’m braining. Braining her brain… Drilling her brain?” she started babbling, then focused Bon Bon’s face and placed the drill on her forehead.

Again, several seconds passed with nothing happening before Colgate could catch herself again.

“Halt, wait. No. I can’t drill in her brain…” she mumbled to herself and placed the drill back in Bon Bon’s mouth.

The minutes passed by, Colgate speaking to herself more and more while slowly descending into madness.

“Brain… Strain… Frain... Feracic. Mapthic. Scrasic… Nurse! We need thirty two cc’s of hydromorphic parazone!” Colgate spoke loudly.

Even the nurse had no idea what she meant right now. This sounded nothing like any medication she heard of. Unsure what to do, she just turned around and started scanning through the cupboards for something that might suit.

In the meantime, Colgate’s mental stability was decreasing with every second. She just kept on mumbling nonsense while drilling around in her friend’s mouth.

“I’m extrosizing… the top right… directly… into… into the brain. Into the brain! INTO THE BRAIN!” Colgate started shouting again, suddenly ramming the drill right through Bon Bon’s forehead. “UGH! BON! WHY?! YOU BEAT ME IN ALL THOSE GAMES! I’M GONNAAAAA…”

After repeatedly putting holes into Bon Bon’s skulls, it seemed like Colgate was about to pass out. But she could catch her balance just in the right time and started rubbing her head as if she had a major headache. Suddenly, she started looking around again, apparently deeply confused.

“What’s going on? I seem to be in a medical theater,” she spoke to herself.

Her assistant was still busy making sense out of her strange medicine request, so Colgate was left on her own to analyze the scenery. Finally, she lowered the focus to the dead pony on her dentist chair.

“Wait… What happened to this patient? Oh! Who did this to you?” Colgate spoke in worry, picking up her friend, then suddenly gaining an angry expression again.

“WHO DID THIS TO YOU, BON?!” she shouted, once again ramming the drill into her head.

Finally, the assistant turned back around. Yes, this was a day like every other.