Billy Wire Does Equestria

The Mysterious pony dragged Billy along the rigid walkways of the forest.

Every inch they walked more and more rocks and sticks hit Billy's face as he laid limp and lifeless.

Finally the dreadful pilgrimage ended as the Mysterious Pony made its way to a small but adorable cottage carrying Billy along and slowly nugged open the door.

The door slowly creaked as the cottage revealed itself to be a dark room of unknown horror's, as the Mysterious Pony lobbed Billy onto a couch.

Hours had passed since Billy was unconscious and left on the couch but soon he woke.

His eyes creaked open and his hooves trembled as the dark room revealed itself to him.

Suddenly The Mysterious pony, now a completely black figure, slowly trotted down the stairs menacingly. Its eyes burned like bullets.

The figure made no sound, The only audible noise was the loud kreek of the floorboards and the ever echoing silence.

Billy was reasonably on edge not knowing where he had been and what had captured him, But he could tell it wasn't good in any way shape or form.

Soon enough the Mysterious pony made its way down stairs, The suspense was killing Billy on the inside knowing he may have been caught for his crimes.

*flick*

The room went from a dark dungeon of death to a bright room of eye piercing madness.

"AHHHHHH MY EYES"

Billy screamed in pain as the light was such a shift from the deep darkness of the room and the forest.

"Oh my!I'm sorry, are you okay?"

Turns out his dastardly abductor was none other than dearest fluttershy.

"NO YOU FUCKING RETARD MY EYES ARE BLEEDING"

Blood FLOWED from Billy's eyes like tears flow out of the eyes of Liberals when I serve them Republican Soup.

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry p-p-please don't hurt me please sir!"

Fluttershy cowered in fear behind a stool shaking like the earth after your mom takes a step.

Billy continued to scream for a few minutes before passing out and falling over.

"Up excuse me sir, wakey wakey"

Fluttershy continuously poked Billy until he sprung up and began hyperventilating and looking side to side in horror as if he was a soldier who had heard a gunshot ring.

"WHERE AM I?"

"Um…..you're in my residence, i'm pretty sure we've met before…."

Billy slowly turned his head and it made a noise reminiscent of a creaking door and started at Fluttershy………….MENACINGLY.

"Oh yes I remember now"

Billy said this sheepishly as he had forgotten who she was.

"Erm…..I apologize for the screaming"

"Oh no its quite alright i'm just glad you aren't bleeding from your eyes anymore"

"Yeah, thats certainly a relief, Thank you for nursing me back to health, But I must be on my way, And sorry for any inconvenience I brought your way"

"Oh um, It's quite alright Billy no need to thank me it was my pleasure, But are you sure you have to leave so soon? don't you want to eat breakfast?"

Billy thought to himself for a minute, go see his insufferable grimace of a girlfriend or take some time to talk to this pony and gain her trust more. He chose the ladder for plot reasons.

"Um yeah I could go for a bite real quick"

"Oh splendid ! , I'll get some eggs prepared"

Fluttershy eagerly pranced to the kitchen and pulled a cart of eggs from her refrigerator.

"So uh………………what happened?"

"Well last night I found you in the woods being attacked by Timberwolves and I couldn't just leave you there to suffer, So I did what any good pony would do and brought you home"

"Oh ok, well thank you"

Billy loudly slurped his eggs like a fat ass hippo and reached for the ketchup but comically fell over the table knocking everything over and landing on fluttershy.

"Oh Billy I-............"

Fluttershy was unable to properly speak as Billy arched over her, stuttering and mumbling and bumbling her words like a modern day rapper from places with a property value less than 100 thousand dollars.

Billy went blank headed as he stood there, he remembered how the last ventures went with the other ponies and knew what he had to do…………..

Awww shit, here we go again 🦍

Fluttershy was blushing immensely and Billy knew exactly what he had to do, so he leaned in for a kiss, and out of instinct Fluttershy leaned in for the kiss too.

As they're muzzles came closer both pulled away at the last second and broke into a cold nervous sweat.

"Wait……"
Fluttershy spoke softer than ever

"I've never kissed anypony before………,
and it would be wrong of me to do this behind Twilight's back……"

"Your right, sorry"

Billy didn't expect to be turned down but he was sure as hell happy he was

"Alright well I guess I'll see myself out then, salutations"

"B-b-bye billy………………."

Billy got up and left as fast as possible as Fluttershy watched him and became red as a tomater.

"God dammit it finally, I thought id have to fuck another horse, jeez"

Billy gathered himself and began thinking of what to do as by now his plans had hit a stalemate.

Billy Bolted fast and eventually made his way back to Ponyville in a cold sweat

" i'm glad I got out of there in time, I cant stand fucking another one of these horses…….yuck"

Suddenly upbeat prancing and trotting filled the silent air as the sun beamed and burned.

"Hello darling!"

It was Twilight, she had picked up Billy's hoof and kissed it while giving a cute dinky wink.

"Oh hey Twilight!"

Billy faked a beam and contorted his face to forcefully smile more than he ever had in his entire life.

"Hey so I was thinking maybe we could grab something to eat later in Manehatten"

"Yeah uh sure no problem"
*God dammit I shouldn't have agreed*

Billy instantly regretted his decision knowing he'd suffer what he could only assume was a subpar spaghetti dinner iina city that reeks of rat piss.

"Oh fantastic Billy! I'm so glad you agreed!,........ You really do make me the happiest mare in the world"

Her face blushed delicately as she stared with whimsy into Billy's eyes while he uncomfortably stared back.

"Yep you too honey 😃"

*I want to beat her face in so bad, I cannot describe my feelings of malice and hatred around that genetic nightmare of a creature*

*oh well nothing I can do now. Best not to fret over it and see this as a way to further manipulate Twilight*

Billy began to continue walking, Thinking about what to do next.

Suddenly the noise of hyper springing filled the roads of Ponyville.

It could only be one pony,......Pinky Pie.

The sound of retarded kazoo playing rang like church bells on a wedding, Everypony Looked on in sheer annoyance or sheer aww at Pinkie's Vulgar display of her expertise in kazoo playing.

Pinkie Parooze'd around until she ever slowly made her way towards Billy's Direction

*oh god , oh fuck , ive gotta get out of here before that D I C K H E A D annoys me till im nothing but bone*

Billy slowly paced away as he looked back with more and more caution and increasing trot speed.
It was like he was in a horror film and the killer was right behind him.

Eventually the Pink-Tard caught up with him and smiled shit eatingly and inhaled comically before letting out a massive call.

"OH BILLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYY"

*god FUCKING damnit man, I was this close too*

Billy put on a comically large fake grin and the more and more he held it , The more and more hid his eyes and face twitched.

"Heeeeeeeeeey Pinkie! What's up?"

"Omg i'm so excited too see you!!! Oh boy check this out! You're gonna believe it, this harmonica is splendiferous!"

She rambled for nearly 30 minutes about her fucking harmonica while Continuing to walk next to Billy.

*I can't take it anymore , i'm going to go insane , this /rtard keeps speaking but nobody's listening…………. Definitely has ass burgers*

*i've gotta do something quick*

"Hey Pinkie , Thats crazy and all that but check this out"

Billy took the harmonica and played a very terrible rendition of all along the watchtower by Bob Dylan , Pinkie stared in amazement like a pit bull to a toddler in spite of Billy's playing being total dog shit.

After Billy finished playing the area they were filled with silence.

"Wow………."
"that was…………"
"So………..Freakin Amazing!!!!!!"

Pinky jumped and bounced around like a pack of Iraqis when they hit the 2nd tower and swarmed around Billy and began sputtering compliments.

Billy was losing it , Somehow even though he was a powerful being, he was still able to be annoyed to a level were murder was on his mind.

*ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME? THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO GET HER TO SHUT UP, THIS BACKFIRED HORRIBLY*

*I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE*

Billy's face went numb from the fake grimace he displayed and his teeth were gritting fiercely.

*I Can't take it anymore , I have to kill this bitch*

Pinkie kept rapidly completing him as she trotted next to him into the forest, this went on for a good 20 minutes until Billy reached a cliff side.

Billy flung the harmonica off the Cliffside and slowly turned himself toward Pinkie Pie.

"Oooh no! Looks like the harmonica slipped out of my hand and fell off the edge of this cliffside!"

Pinkie moved herself to the cliff to look down into its deep abyss to try and see her lost instrument shrouded in the darkness.

"Aww man and I just got it oh-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

Billy kicked out Pinkie's heign legs and watched her fall into the abyss slowly as her pink got lost and shrouded in the darkness.

"Oh no pinkie i'll come save you!"

This was a lie.

Billy stayed and watched until her scream faded out and his face slowly came undone from the fixed grimace it bared.

A sigh of relief left his muzzle

"Good Riddance , I hate the mentally disabled"

Fin