Beavis and Butt-Head Do Equestria

Beavis and Butt-Head Do Equestria: Friendship Sucks

By NocturneD

Twilight Sparkle sat by herself in the royal library going over the notes she has jotted down from monitoring Beavis and Butt-head. Their gestures, their vocabulary and their expressions. Nothing comes close what she was used to when growing up or even had a clue. Her friends joined her shortly with a cup of hot chocolate to sooth her nerves after what happened the previous day. The two teens caused a conflict between royalty, ended what seemed to be a happy marriage and one of them went on a sugar high rampage claiming that he was the great Cornholio. Rarity gave Twilight her hot chocolate and set it down in front of her.

"Hitting the books again dear?" Rarity asked as she sat down next to the purple unicorn.

"It's just this stupid assignment." Twilight groaned then slammed her face into the table. "How can two creatures be this demeaning and destructive?"

"Well you have to admit it. They do know how to live it up." Dash sat down and folded her arms behind her head to relax. "Those nachos are really good."

"Damn straight!" Pinkie smiled.

"Pinkie!" Apple Jack scolded.

"What butt dumpling?" Pinkie shot a glare at Jack.

"Yeah butt munch what's the problem?" Dash asked.

"Since when did you two start saying all this stuff?" Twilight slammed her hoofs onto the table.

"Pretty cool huh?" Dash chuckled, "Uh huh huh."

"Yeah. Eh heh heh." Pinkie turned slightly to her side and chuckled as well.

"Girls. They're not funny." Twilight frowned.

"Says you." Dash smirked.

Twilight rested her hoof on her forehead. Sighed then looked at her friends deeply, "Come on guys its clear that these two are more trouble than they seem."

"They did help rescue Sweetie Belle though." Rarity recalled.

"And formed an alliance with the diamond dogs." Fluttershy raised her hoof.

"Got rid of Trixie for the second time." Dash chuckled.

"Oh come on girls." Twilight fumed, "They wrecked the fashion show, poisoned half of the town, put a hole in a barn and the bakery wall, used Fluttershy's animals as food, basically insulted us with this vocabulary of theirs, practically ruined my brother's happy marriage, disrespectful to the princess and.."

"Well they helped you out when the princess was chewing you out!" Rainbow raised her hoof in accusation towards the purple unicorn.

Twilight sighed, "You're right... maybe they're not aware of our customs. Pretty destructive and makes you wonder if there are more of them out there."

"If there are then hopefully not as destructive as these two." Apple Jack rolled her eyes.

"Cheer up Twilight. They might do well at the Gala tomorrow night." Rarity assured.

"You're just saying that because Beavis kicked Blue Blood in the nads." Twilight crossed her arms.

"Guilty." Rarity blushed then laughed.

Meanwhile in the royal throne room. It appeared to be quite vacant as the princess was not present along with no guards on duty. The two teens were wandering the halls by themselves until they walked into a large room with a very obvious door at the far end of it. Not caring for the royal belongings they bumped into pedestals that held antiques, they fell over and broke within. Held for many generations fell and broke in just mere seconds.

"This sucks." Butt-head frowned, "No TV. No porn."

Beavis shook his fists in anger, "DAMN IT! THIS PLACE SUCKS! NOTHING TO DO!"

The two reached the end of the room to find a rather large door. Detailed with fancy engravings.

"We should like... spray paint all over this." Butt-head chuckled.

"YEAH! YEAH!" Beavis chanted excitedly. "Cover it with snakes and flames and skulls!"

"Uh... now to find spray paint." Butt-head looked left then right. Frowned again, "This sucks. Nothing is ever here when you want it."

Beavis was massaging his horn. "Yeah... we should like... Wish for it or something."

Just then the horn glowed and various colored spray cans fell to their feet.

"That horn is cool." Butt-head chuckled, "But next time it should get it... acc...accur... uh... with the chicks." He looked at the giant door, "I'm going to draw a big butt on this thing!" The two started laughing uncontrollably as Beavis painted a giant penis the size of the door.

"Hey Butt-head check it out!" Beavis pointed to a hole in the door.

"You should draw a butt around that hole so it looks like a big butt." Butt-head suggested.

"Yeah! That sounds pretty good!" Beavis started spraying a large pair of cheeks around the hole.

After a few minutes the two were proud of their accomplishment. They stood back to see the words etched out with paint, "Mega Death, ACDC rules, BIG BUTT, FART and more importantly BOOBS". Beavis thought it would be funny if he stuck the horn in the hole to make it look like the horn was being shoved in some persons' ass. Hilarious the two thought as Beavis did such thing. Just then around the hole lights shined through the cracks of the door.

"Whoa..." Butt-head stared wide eyed at the door.

"Yeah! Just like Pinky Floyd laser concerts." Beavis chuckled. He rammed the horn in deeper as the lights continued to flash. Just then heavy door slid open slowly representing its size it creaked loudly. With the doors finally open there stood in the middle of the room inside was another pedestal this time with a jewel encrusted box. It shined of everlasting glory and...

*BAM*

Or just all over the floor with the contents poured out.

"Hey Butt-head. There's like jewels in here." Beavis bent down to pick up an odd shaped necklace.

"Cool. Now we can be like those pimps that hang down town." Butt-head chuckled.

"Yeah! Yeah THAT'S A GOOD IDEA!" Beavis picked up another necklace.

Butt-head picked up a tiara with a star on it, "Uh... I don't think pimps wear this girly crap."

Beavis flung one of the necklaces at the wall causing it to shatter. The two teens grinned wickedly then smashed another necklace on the floor. Little did they knew, they were destroying the elements of harmony effortlessly. Breaking them apart by stomping on them, beating them with hammers, slamming them into walls.

"That was cool!" Beavis shook his arms wildly.

After the two broke all the jewelry inside they poured it back into the box and laid it back on the pedestal. Laughing along the way they closed the door behind them to only be confronted by princess Cadence.

"Uh... what the hell do you want?" Butt-head asked.

Cadence smiled wickedly.

Beavis frowned, "This is starting to freak me out Butt-head."

"We got much to discuss." Cadence smirked.

"Uh... are you like... trying to hit on us or something?" Butt-head asked. "We don't do ponies."

"Yeah... Eh heh heh. Hopeless losers do that and write about it." Beavis chuckled.

Cadence a bit bewildered by the fourth wall comment just waved it off. "Oh... you two are motivated by desires of lust and destruction?"

"That's right baby." Butt-head chuckled.

"YEAH! YEAH! DESTRUCTION!" Beavis waved his arms frantically.

"I take it that you want Equestria to burn down to the ground as much as I do?" Cadence tilted her head.

"FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!" Beavis chanted.

"Uh... Don't really give a rats ass about this place really." Butt-head admitted.

Cadence smiled, "How would you two like to work for me?"

"Uh... no." Butt-head frowned.

"Yeah you're not cool enough." Beavis chuckled.

"I'm not... cool?" Cadence smirked. With that her hoof clopped onto the floor and within seconds her body was embodied in green flames. Now before them was a dark colored pony with bluish green hair and green evil eyes.

"Whoa..." Beavis was entranced by the flames.

"How about now?" The dark slick unicorn asked, "By the way... I'm the queen of the changelings..."

"Uh... so." Butt-head countered.

Discord on the other hand was just all dandy watching the elements of harmony falling apart and laid out all over the floor. He chuckled in an evil tone and snapped his fingers. And teleported out of his dimension. With no elements of harmony to stop him, he was invincible.