Beavis and Butt-Head Do Equestria

Beavis and Butt-Head Do Equestria: Friendship Sucks

By NocturneD

*CRUSH*

*BASH*

*CRUSH*

Eh heh heh...

Uh huh huh huh...

*CRUNCH*

"This is cool." Butt-head chuckled.

"YEAH!" Beavis giggled.

The two must have had run over or crushed over five million bits worth of building work. Or even priceless valuables that were on display. The two continued their onslaught through out the hollow ghost parts of the castle grounds. Destroying walls of the libraries and random wings. Rolling their way up concrete stairs and crushing statues along the way. Their mischief filled laughs continued on and echoed through out the halls.

"Which way is the party again?" Beavis asked.

"Uh... I don't know." Butt-head chuckled. "Maybe this way." The brunette turned the steering wheel and pulled the steam roller into a hard left colliding with another wall. Demolishing it like it was cheap material. But what they were driving through were restricted parts of the castle. They knocked over more book cases and fine art. Thousands of years worth of history. Gone under a path of destruction.

"YEAH! YEAH!" Beavis chanted as he shook his arms wildly. "Destruction!" They crushed another set of statues.

"Damn it." Butt-head frowned. "We're only going around in circles." Just then he started knocking over columns that were supporting the ceiling. One after another Butt-head either smashed into them or graced them to the side. Just then he plowed down the door leading to the next set of rooms.

"Hey Butt-head. This is giving me a stiffy." Beavis chuckled.

"Anything gives you a stiffy Beavis." Butt-head chuckled back.

After rolling around a bit more the duo eventually got bored of their rolling destruction for one time. They drove back to the courtyard where they found it and drove it back in the same spot once they found it. Butt-head turned it off and jumped off with Beavis following him back into the ball room.

"You said ball." Butt-head chuckled.

"Eh heh heh." Beavis laughed as well.

Looks like some of Pinkie's fourth wall breaking rubbed off onto these two.

"You said rubbed off." Butt-head chuckled again.

Shut up...

Just then the construction ponies came back outside to find the steam roller for some reason off. The manager kicked it, "Ah come on! The stupid thing quit on us again!"

"What's wrong?" Steam came up with plate with food on it.

"Stupid piece of junk stopped working again..." The manager replied.

Steam looked to his side to find a trail of destruction leading up to the steam roller, "Looks like it worked just fine awhile ago..."

"Dear Celestia!" The manager threw his hard hat on the ground.

Meanwhile at the party...

"I'm not having a good feeling about this Thunder." The guard pony told his fellow guard.

"Relax. We'll just walk up to those two and introduce ourselves. Buy them drinks. If they say no then no hard feelings." Thunder smiled.

"Well alright then." Silver Bolt tugged his armor a bit.

The two guard ponies walked up to two scantily clad dressed ponies sitting at the bar. One brunette with blue fur and the other blonde with pink fur.

"Evening ladies. Are you having a great evening?" Thunder asked.

The brunette nodded and talked in a southern accent, "It's alright. Care to join us?"

"Sure." Thunder smiled and sat next to the brunette.

"I'll just sit here then." Silver Bolt smirked as he sat next to the blonde.

"I'm Thunder and this is Silver Bolt. We work for the royal guard." Thunder figured it would give him some guaranteed swooning.

"Well I'm Lolita and this here is Tanqueray." The brunette introduced herself plainly then pointed to her friend.

Meanwhile on the other side of the ballroom. Beavis and Butt-head managed to get back in time before Celestia found out about the little steam roller rampage. She came out and saw the mess. She could not find the words necessary for such destruction so she instantly fired the workers without pay. Twilight heard everything and walked back to her friends.

"Did you girls hear? Some pony rolled through the castle with a big machine breaking everything." Twilight told her friends.

"Sounds like fun!" Pinkie smiled.

The other ponies turned to scowl at the pink pony.

"What?" She shifted her shoulders in question.

"If I did not know any better I feel that it was those two running amok again." Apple Jack rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure they are on their best behavior." Fluttershy assured the others.

"Uh hey!" Some one called, "What kind of party is this?"

"Yeah really. No beer and no chicks. Damn it!" Another one replied. "Hey Butt-head if you squint your eyes a little bit and let them go out of focus. It will be like that pony's butt is like a naked chicks butt bending over."

Just then they heard a slap and a scream.

Twilight rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Could this night get any worse?" Twilight fumed.

Just then the ballroom doors exploded open.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. We're tonight's entertainment!" A familiar tricking voice echoed through out the room. The mane six turned their heads to the voice and there to find the one and only. "Presenting for one night only. The amazing Discord!" The chimera threw his arms up and hollered.

"OH NO ITS HIM!" One of the guests shouted.

"DISCORD IS FREE! RUN!" Another pony panicked.

"How is this possible?" Twilight questioned.

"Every pony freeze." Discord snapped his fingers. Just then all the ponies in the room were stuck in place but were still aware of what's happening.

"Hey Butt-head! It's that wiener dragon again!" Beavis pointed out.

"Oh yeah. It's Discock." Butt-head chuckled soon Beavis followed.

"It's Discord..." Discord sighed. "But you two have done a fantastic job!" He smiled and praised the two. "Bravo!"

Twilight narrowed her eyes the best she could with her frozen expression, "Discord!"

Butt-head just ripped a fart in response.

"Well. Well. Well." Cadence walked in between the two teens. "Looks like you two did your job just perfectly."

The mane six gasped, "The changeling queen as well?"

"Oh look. It's Can't dance or something." Butt-head chuckled.

"No dumb ass remember its me." Just then Cadence transformed into the changeling queen.

"And you still look extravagant as ever Chrysalis." Discord smiled.

"Thanks. And you still... look sexy." Chrysalis purred.

"Well I work out from time to time." Discord chuckled.

"Oh sick!" Rainbow wanted to puke.

Butt-head frowned, "Uh... Hey! Where's our reward?"

Beavis was pissed, "Come on damn it! We've been trotting all around this god for saken place looking for porn, beer and chicks!"

"Patience my boys." Discord wagged his finger. "Don't you want to know our plan?"

"Uh... no." Butt-head chuckled.

Discord frowned but summoned a sofa for the two to sit on. "Too bad I'm going to tell you anyway." He giggled, "Oh boy. Who should go first? Me or you darling?" Obviously he hooked up with the changeling queen sometime off screen. I don't care if I did not write that in and forgot to tell you that. Probably was important but oh well. Plot twist.

"Oh you go." Chrysalis laughed.

"Very well. Chrysalis and I have both came up with this great plan to capture the elements of harmony. Only thing, we can't touch the elements so we needed some outsiders to do the dirty work. That is where you came in." Discord chuckled. "Since you made friends with the ponies but also did a lot of damage along the way. It was a great way for me to regain my power. And thanks to you two... I'm nearly five times as strong!"

At this time. Pinkie felt heart broken. Wanted to cry because her two friends were in on destroying Equestria.

"I knew it..." Apple Jack growled.

Beavis was picking his ass at the moment. "Oh is that a fact huh?" He chuckled. "Well I'll be damned."

"As for my queen here. She has her army ready to capture the ponies and imprison them in her cocoons so she can turn them into changelings as well." Discord laughed manically. Soon Chrysalis did as well. Then then the two teens. Discord smirked, "And with that Chrysalis and I will rule Equestria together."

"Uh... okay." Butt-head chuckled.

"But that horn will play another factor in our little game." Discord smiled. "With it we can get near infinite power. So... fork it over." Discord held out his paw.

"So where's the chicks you promised us?" Beavis asked.

"Well talk about that as soon as you hand over the horn." Discord smirked.

"DON'T DO IT!" The mane six screamed. "NO!"

"Be smart about this Beavis and Butt-head!" Twilight tried to shout.

"Eh heh heh. Here you go." Beavis handed over the horn.

The mane six moaned in disbelief.

Discord and Chrysalis looked at each other and smiled evilly. The queen ignited a ring of fire around the two teens.

"WHOA!" Beavis got excited, "FIRE!"

"Well that's pretty cool. But where are the chicks?" Butt-head looked around.

"Oh you'll see." Chrysalis laughed.

Suddenly the two teens were being pulled down into the dark oblivion below. They screamed how much it sucked being pulled down.

"NO! MR BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD!" Pinkie cried.

"Oh hush now Pinkie." Discord leaned on the pink pony. "You really need to know how to make better friends. Not our fault you picked two idiots to befriend." The power from the horn was granting them their evil wish. The castle started to quake.

Pinkie wanted to cry but the others were ready to explode. Memories flowing back to the pink pony how she took the two in and had some pretty wonderful fun together. Like breaking stuff. Over flowing toilets. Walking in on Beavis spanking his monkey. Butt-head throwing cupcakes at the wall. Breaking more stuff. Laughing. Breaking more stuff. Laughing again. Farting at inappropriate times. Making fun of Twilight's ass. Blowing up part of a house. Meeting all kinds of new friends. That's what Pinkie enjoyed about the two, sure they were destructive but they were fun too. Misunderstood and no one was willing to give them a chance like she did.

Beavis and Butt-head appeared in a giant crystal underground cavern. Oblivious to their surrounding. They made the best of it.

"Hey Beavis. Listen." Butt-head instructed.

"What?" Beavis asked.

"Listen." Butt-head soon ripped a huge fart. It echoed through out the cavern. The two laughed harder.

"Hello?" A female pony called out.

"Uh... I don't remember farting out a hello." Butt-head tried to think back.

"Hello? Any pony there?" The voice called out again.

"Hey Beavis. That sounds like a chick." Butt-head chuckled.

"Yeah. Think she has big boobs?" Beavis asked.

"Maybe." Butt-head chuckled. He called out, "Uh yeah like! We're here!"

"Yeah! We're here to do you!" Beavis echoed.

"Follow my voice! I'm trapped in here too!" The female called out.

The two followed the sound of the voice and finally met up with...

"Oh..." Butt-head frowned. "It's that Can't dance pony again..."

Beavis frowned as well. "Really? Wasn't she like already up there?"

The real Cadance was a mess, "Oh my Celestia thank you for finding me!"

Beavis chucked a rock at Cadence's head.

"OW!" Cadence held her head. "What was that for?"

"Damn it you promised us chicks!" Beavis shouted.

"I promised you no such thing!" Cadence defended herself. "You must have came across the changeling queen. She ruined my wedding day by throwing me down here and trying to marry my husband Shining Armor!"

"Uh... Shining Armor?" Butt-head asked.

"Yes! Have you see my darling Shining Armor?" Cadence approached the two with hope, "Is he looking for me? Did he say anything?"

"Uh yeah." Butt-head chuckled.

"What then?" Cadence was waiting.

"Uh he said you suck." Butt-head chuckled.

"He also said he had a small weiner" Beavis chuckled faster.

"Oh yeah. Plus he's just as boring as Twinky Spermcell." Butt-head chuckled.

Beavis frowned, "Yeah he's pretty lame. You should dump him."

Cadence gasped. "I shall do no such things. I love him!"

"Well whatever. I got to take a dump." Beavis pulled down his pants and crouched down.

"AH! Beavis do that somewhere else!" Butt-head shouted.

"Worst rescue attempt ever..." Cadence turned her head away in disgust.