Beavis and Butt-Head Do Equestria

Beavis and Butt-Head: Do Equestria

By NocturneD

After the morning to noon shift was done, Pinkie Pie lead the two teens to her friend Rarity's house. Pinkie knocked on the door once, twice, thrice until a white unicorn answered finally with sewing needles in her mouth and measuring tape hanging loosely around her neck. She plucked the needles from her lips and gave a warm hello, "Why hello Pinkie Pie."

"Hey Rarity I brought Mr. Beavis and Butt-head as you asked." Pinkie smiled.

"Why come in come in darlings." Rarity waved the three into her shop.

The two teens gave one look around the boutique.

"Hey Butt-head. Eh heh heh." Beavis chuckled, "Is this like... a underwear store?"

"You mean lingerie dumb ass. Uh huh huh." Butt-head corrected his friend.

"Now boys I don't think there are any needs for insults." Rarity eased in, "As you know there will be a banquet in your honor for saving my dear sister Sweetie Belle and my reward to you are..."

"Money?" Beavis asked.

"Chicks?" Butt-head added.

"Yah yah AND BEER!" Beavis shook his hands quickly.

"Clothes." Rarity smiled.

Beavis and Butt-head frowned.

"Pinkie explained that you came here to Ponyville with no provisions and since she got you two a job, you are going to need to look nice around Ponyville for any occasion." Rarity walked over to one of her work desk to grab a notebook and pencil. "Now I'm sure you two heard about my services?"

"Uh... services?" Butt-head chuckled.

"She means in clothing you silly fillies." Pinkie giggled.

"Why? What did they think I meant?" Rarity turned her head to Pinkie. Pinkie shifted her shoulders but gave a poor poker face, Rarity shook her head and went back to face the two. "So you two have anything in mind?"

"Uh... no." Butt-head replied.

"Are you sure? It can get dreadfully cold here in Ponyville." Rarity cupped her own chin with her hoof and took a good look at what they were wearing currently, "My word it looks like those clothes you're wearing haven't been washed and ironed in months." (Try eighteen years). Rarity walked around the two again and again looking at all angles. "I think I got a few things in mind since I figured those logos on your shirts have something to do with your interests. Music am I right?"

"Uh yeah... ACDC rules." Butt-head said proudly.

"YEAH YEAH METALLICA ROCKS!" Beavis shook his hands violently again.

Rarity was taken back, hoof rested on her chest; "Such excitement from you two." She smiled and etched down some notes, "Just giving some warning, I never heard of these bands so law suits are pretty fierce here so I'll just base your new designs off your current designs."

"Oh yeah... Law suits are a bitch." Butt-head chuckled.

"Yeah. Eh heh heh heh. That fat lady tried to sue Burger World one time because her coffee was too hot or something." Beavis tried to remember the past event.

"Yeah because you dropped it on her lap. Uh huh huh." Butt-head chuckled.

"The cup was too hot damn it!" Beavis yelled, "Why couldn't she just order a lemonade!"

"Uh... we don't see lemonade back at Burger World Beavis. You just pissed in a cup and threw ice in it." Butt-head laughed.

"It's really good." Beavis chuckled.

"Uh... okay Beavis. Uh huh huh." Butt-head ignored his friend.

Rarity looked at Pinkie Pie again, "They're not too bright are they?" She asked.

Pinkie Pie gave a creepy smile and tilted her head, "Why do you ever mean Rarity?"

She looked back at the two, "Well boys I need you to stand over there as I take your measurements." Rarity pointed to a couple of modeling stands.

"Eh heh heh. She's going to measure our schlongs." Beavis chuckled as he walked over to the stand.

A few hours later...

Rarity let out a huge successful sigh, "It took three hours but I finally got the measurements."

"Hey Butt-head?" Beavis turned his head, "Did this pony touch your nads?"

"To make sure your pants won't be tight in the crotch dear." Rarity butted in as the two laughed historically, "Now you two I need colors you like."

"Red. Grey. Uh huh huh." Butt-head answered.

"Blue. Grey. Eh heh heh." Beavis chuckled.

Rarity raised an eyebrow, "All of them those colors?"

"Damn straight." Beavis said proudly.

Just then Fluttershy entered the store quietly and stood behind the two not making a peep. Within the moment Rarity noticed Fluttershy peeking underneath Beavis's legs and waved. "Fluttershy darling what can I do for you?"

Fluttershy tried to summon her courage to speak, "Well... I was wondering..."

"Yeah Fluttershy?" Pinkie bounced up and down.

"Er..." Fluttershy mumbled, "I... I need someone to watch my animals while I go out of town this weekend."

Pinkie gasped, "I love your animals. We could have a party with them."

Fluttershy shook her head in disagreement, "Please it's... fine... Just need to get more food for my animals."

Pinkie Pie asked, "You asked anyone else?"

Fluttershy nodded her head, "I asked Apple Jack but she seemed upset that someone made a big tree crashed into her barn. Twilight is still taking care of Spike. I couldn't find Rainbow Dash... oh dear." She explained, "I really need someone to watch them or they aren't going to get any food."

Pinke Pie rubbed her chin, "I don't know if I could do it because Mr. and Mrs. Cake need help filling another large order this weekend."

"And I promised Beavis and Butt-head new outfits to be done soon. That might take all week sweety." Rarity poked her head from behind a sewing machine.

Pinkie Pie looked at the teens and rubbed her chin then back to Fluttershy, "Why not have Mr. Beavis and Butt-head do it?"

The screen zooms in on Beavis and Butt-head.

Fluttershy gave a shy smile, "I don't want to bother you two. You just came to Ponyville and... I can't let you worry about my problems."

"Uh... does it pay well?" Butt-head asked.

Fluttershy brought her hoof to her mouth and nodded, "I guess I could throw a couple bits your way."

"Great! That will give Mr. Beavis and Butt-head another good start!" Pinkie cheered.

Fluttershy bowed, "Tha...thank you so much Mr. Beavis and Butt-head." She raised her head.

Butt-head let out a huge fart.

Fluttershy ran out of the boutique scared.

Rarity raised her head and sniffed once, then twice then looked at the two.

Pinkie smiled, "I guess they release that smelly gas every once and a while."

Rarity waved a hoof around the air to blow the smell away from her proximity.

Pinkie started to cough then tried to wave back at Rarity.

Just then Sweetie Belle and the other two Cutie Mark Crusaders entered the store.

"Hey Rarity I just wanted to stop by an.." Sweetie Belle stopped herself and sniffed the foul smell.

"Did an animal die in here?" Scootaloo scrunched her face.

"Smells like one of the cow pies back on the farm." Apple Bloom stiffened a laugh.

"Eck gad... Everypony open a window!" Rarity waved the smell away from her face.

"Yeah extra spicy nachos can do that. Eh heh heh." Beavis chuckled.

Rarity wasted no time opening her windows to let out the terrible smell. "Surely you don't have to release gas often Mr. Butt-head."

"It comes when it wants to. Uh huh huh." Butt-head laughed.

"Wowwy. Fluttershy rocketed out of the place once she heard that." Pinkie looked out the open doorway to see Fluttershy still running away. "She's shy though and loud sounds scare her. She moved out of Cloudsdale to down here and lives alone with her animals."

"Uh... if she's like that... her dad must of kicked her ass back then." Butt-head replied.

"Eh yeah... he must of been like... DAMN IT FLUTTERSHY THIS BEER IS WARM! GET ME ANOTHER!" Beavis shouted while shaking his arms. "DAMN IT FLUTTERSHY I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT THERE AND MOW THAT LAWN! OH IS THAT A TEAR FLUTTERSHY? OH IS DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL UPSET? I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS INTO NEXT TUESDAY! NOW GET OUT OF HERE AND STOP ACTING LIKE A DAMN LITTLE GIRL!"

"Uh huh huh. Settle down Beavis." Butt-head chuckled.

Rarity, Pinkie, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders blinked.

"You know... knowing how meek and shy Fluttershy is... I wouldn't be surprised if her father was like that." Rarity shook her head while she started on the new clothes.

"Uh how much fabric do you have to use to make it around Twinkle Spanks fat ass?" Beavis asked.

Rarity grunted, "Twilight Sparkle is a pony that is grown to her body..." She then laughed, "But her bottom is wide."

Sweetie Belle chirped, "Yeah! You can even see it from space!"

Butt-head added, "She's so fat... she got baptized at Sea World."

Then they all laughed, Rarity was on the floor laughing so hard she nearly peed herself.