Beavis and Butt-Head Do Equestria

Beavis and Butt-Head: Do Equestria

By NocturneD

Another day has passed in Ponyville and soon every pony has heard of the two humans. Strange creatures have came through Ponyville with big, small, fat, skinny, whimsical, crude. But for Beavis and Butt-head there was something about them, well most ponies took a liking to them because of the somewhat valiant effort they did to save a young Sweetie Belle from doom of being sucked down a pipe. Others found them annoying. While others found them to be not the sharpest tool in the shed. Beavis and Butt-head were having difficulty adjusting to this new life since there was no television. Their response is to let out a scream to the heavens.

Another day working at the Sugar Cube corner to start earning some bits until they can get their own place. Pinkie happily introduced the teens to Mr and Mrs. Cake. Mr Cake was generous for the help and agreed to pay the two if they do a good job but little did he know about their work habits.

"Hey Beavis? You like notice something about these customers?" Butt-head chuckled.

"That they all stink? Eh heh heh heh." Beavis chuckled back.

"No dude... Uh huh huh. By the way I think you need start showering better because I can smell your B.O. from here." Butt-head gave Beavis a jab.

Beavis raised his armpit and sniffed himself, "I don't smell nuttin." He then raised his head, "Wait they had a shower? Eh heh heh."

"Uh yeah... It's in the bathroom you pissed all over last night." Butt-head chuckled.

"Well I'll be damned." Beavis said quickly.

Slowly Gummy; Pinkie's pet alligator crawled on the counter past the two.

"So what I was trying to say about these customers. Uh huh huh." Butt-head chuckled and explained, "They're not like ass wipes back at home."

Beavis seemed to recall and frowned, "Oh yeah. Eh heh heh." He deepened his voice in a mocking tone, "Excuse me sir I want three double cheeseburgers, four orders of fries with no salt, twenty chicken nuggets with extra sauce and a small diet coke because I got to watch what I eat."

"Yeah... and that customer came back and complained because his diet coke tasted like pee." Butt-head remembered.

"Eh heh heh. It was pee." Beavis chuckled historically. "And part of my wiener went into the drink."

"Is that why you put the ice in last? Uh huh huh." Butt-head asked.

"Eh heh. No... I always put the ice in first... my wiener and nads are still cold just thinking about it." Beavis frowned.

Suddenly the front door opened and revealed a purple unicorn. She trotted up to the counter where the two teens were standing behind.

"Hey Beavis. Uh huh... it's another one of those ponies with a stiffy on it's head." Butt-head chuckled.

Twilight Sparkle never heard of the word; stiffy but she figured it meant horn where they were from. Never the less she smiled, "Hello. I'm Twilight Sparkle. I run the library here in Ponyville and I'm friends with Pinkie Pie."

The two teens remained silent.

"So your names are?" Twilight asked awkwardly.

Beavis scratched his crotch, Butt-head on the other hand farted. Twilight gave a slight cringe but continued with her effort to get an interview.

"So uh... you want something?" Butt-head chuckled.

"Yeah... your names?" Twilight asked again.

"Uh... I'm Butt-head... this monkey spanker here is Beavis." Butt-head lazily introduced him and his friend.

Twilight raised an eyebrow, "Beavis? I could of sworn he was shouting he was the great Cornholio a couple nights ago." She rubbed her chin, "I was wondering if I could ask you some questions as in just simple ones."

Beavis blinked and kept his evil looking expression.

"By first, I want to ask where you two came from." Twilight pulled out a small note pad and had a quill ready.

"Uh... my house." Butt-head answered.

Twilight waved, "No. No I mean where are you two from? Another land? City?"

"Oh..." Beavis flicked a booger across the counter.

"Oh yeah... Uh huh huh." Butt-head chuckled, "Some hick town called Highland."

Twilight scribbled down her findings, "Highland... Now where is that at?"

"Uhhhhhhhh..." Butt-head said aloud.

"Ummmmmmmmm..." Beavis did the same.

Twilight frowned and thought, "I'm not getting far with these answers." She looked up at the two and asked, "How did you two get here?"

Beavis scratched his ass again then replied, "I dunno... Eh heh heh... Just woke up here." He chuckled, "By the way are we high? I keep seeing ponies everywhere. Eh heh heh."

Twilight frowned, "You two are definitely not from around here. I have read about creatures in Equestria and not a lot match your description but few articles I found. Mind if I ask what species you are?"

"Uh... Feces?" Butt-head asked.

Twilight waved her hoof again, "No... species, like what kind of animal you are."

"I'm not an animal I'm a dude butt munch." Butt-head replied back.

"A dude?" Twilight tilted her head, "Is that another form of your species?"

"Yeah. Eh heh heh. I'M A MAN AND DAMN PROUD OF IT!" Beavis chanted shaking his hands and eyes bugged out.

"Dude? Man? Anything helps." Twilight scratched down some more notes, "What's a butt munch by the way?" Twilight thought about that for a moment while Beavis and Butt-head gave no explanation, just laughed, she figured it must be one of their lingoes. "Well, I would like to ask more questions if you don... what is that?"

Beavis had the horn from earlier still in his pant pocket.

"Uh huh huh. He's happy to see you." Butt-head chuckled.

Beavis pulled out the horn, "Oh right... this thing."

Twilight gasped in question, "Can I see it? Where'd you get it?"

Beavis had no problem handing it over, Twilight grabbed the horn with her magic and started examining it from all angles. "Yup... it's a horn alright. But who it belongs to I don't know." She noticed a hint of dark magic was involved, "But whoever had a horn like this... I'm figuring was not a kind pony. Matter of fact, seemed like there is still some magic in this thing." Twilight let the horn run in front of her nose, but caught her attention a weird but foul smell. She gagged, "WHAT IS THAT SMELL?"

Beavis started laughing, "I shoved that thing up my butt. Eh heh heh."

Butt-head plugged his nose and waved his hand around to get better air flow going, "No wonder you stink Beavis."

Twilight covered her nose, "Well no matter what. I think I should put some more research into this and tell princess Celestia about it." She looked back at the two, "This might be the reason why you two are here. I just can't figure out who can have this sort of magic, it's just... eerie." She cringed. "Do you mind if I take this back to my library and..." Suddenly the horn broke free of Twilight's magic and appeared back into Beavis's hand. Twilight while astonished, "Guess this isn't going to be easy."

"Yeah... eh heh heh. I tried flushing this thing but it only backed up Pinkie's toilet." Beavis laughed.

"Uh huh huh yeah..." Butt-head chuckled. Twilight only could reply with her eyes bulging.

"Well whatever it is, I really need to take a look at it. More likely if I can't find out with my books; Princess Celestia is going to have to step in." Twilight brought up.

"Eh... who?" Butt-head asked in an uncaring voice.

"Well I do take it you're not familiar with our customs. Princess Celestia rules all of Equestria where she's staying is currently Canterlot." Twilight went on for like twenty minutes explaining. Beavis and Butt-head put on bored faces. Twilight finished talking, "Oh boy, I lost track of the time. I would like to know more about you two so come on down to the library whenever you're not busy and would like a good book to read." She looked at the clock as it was still pretty early in the day. "Well it's nice meeting you two. Tell Pinkie Pie I said hi." Twilight left.

Beavis frowned, "Good god..."

"Yeah... Thought she would never shut up and leave." Butt-head replied. "What was her name again?"

Beavis said, "Uh... Tinkle Spatula or something... Eh heh heh." Beavis chuckled, "Her butt is like... bigger than the other ponies butts around here."

"Beavis... you've been looking at pony butts?" Butt-head accused and laughed.

"Damn it Butt-head!" Beavis shouted, "That's not what it looks like."

"Okay Beavis." Butt-head ignored.

Silence was shared between the two.

"This sucks... wished we had a TV." Beavis said aloud.

"Wished we had the house here. Uh huh huh." Butt-head brought up, "That way we could have some damn privacy without Pinkie singing a stupid song in the morning to get us up."

Pinkie Pie entered the room with a tray of cookies and slid them into the display case. "Hey you two! We got to finish up this morning and meet Rarity at the boutique!" She cheerily said.

"Uh... why? Eh heh heh." Beavis picked his nose.

"Well since you helped save Sweetie Belle, Rarity is really grateful! Since I noticed you wear clothes I figured I ask her to make some new clothes for you two." Pinkie smiled, then noticed their clothing. All wrinkled and worn out, like they were wearing them for months or practically longer than fifteen years. "She just has to get your measurements."

"Uh huh huh. She's going to measure us." Butt-head chuckled.

"Eh heh heh. Yeah. She's going to measure our nads!" Beavis chuckled.

"And after that there's going to be an award ceremony for us tomorrow night for our part in saving Sweetie Belle!" She bounced up and down.

"A reward?" Butt-head smirked. The two smiled daydreaming what their reward could possibly be.

"Better not be like those stupid prizes we used to get at Chuckie Cheese. Eh heh heh." Beavis chuckled.

Pinkie Pie day dreamed and happily explained, "A banquet in our honor! We'll get our pictures taken. Dine on some good food." She licked her lips. "I heard rumors that maybe Princess Celestia might show up."

"Uh... That Twinkle Spunk pony isn't coming is she?" Butt-head asked.

"Twilight Sparkle is my friend ofcourse she'll come!" Pinkie laughed.

"Eh... she sounds boring. She talks too much and has a big butt." Beavis frowned though then again if he hadn't known better Twilight Sparkle reminds him of their chubby friend back home named Stewart.

Pinkie smirked, "That's not very nice Mr. Beavis." Then she sneered, "But you do got the boring part right. As for her flank..." She held out her arms, "Could park a dump truck on that thing."

The three laughed.

Pinkie hushed them again, "But whatever you do, you can't insult any pony infront of Princess Celestia. She might banish you."

"Uh... does Princess Chewbacca have big hooters?" Butt-head asked.