Twilight Can't Find a Book

It was a nice day. Twilight walked around Ponyville, trying her hardest not to shit herself while doing so. She was not in any particular need to go number two, she just didn’t have the motor coordination to move and think at the same time without using her bullshit overpowered telekinesis.

In a blur, Pinkie Pie crashed into Twilight, knocking her down like an annoying asshole who doesn’t know not to tackle other ponies and can’t control her energy from eating so much goddamn sugar. Why isn’t she fat, seriously?

“Hi, Twilight! I was in Sugarcube Corner and I was making a cake and then I asked myself, where can I get licorice?, and then I thought, who knows everything in Ponyville?, and then I thought of you!! So I went looking for you as fast as I could!” said Pinkie with her stupid fucking motormouth.

“Oh, hi, Pinkie! How are you?"

“Do you know where I can get some licorice? My cake can’t be complete without—” And why can she break physics like nothing? No one else in the show can break physics like that except perhaps god-tier creatures like alicorns and Discord. Pinkie is completely overpowered. “…licorice.”

“I don’t know, but I know where we can look. To the library!” she yelled out. Because she doesn’t actually know anything about anything and is completely dependent on other ponies’ knowledge.

“Let’s go-o-o!” yelled Pinkie Pie, the stupid fat fuck, as she zipped out again, flying over the ground and completely disregarding the internal rules laid out for the series’ universe.

“Wait for me, Pinkie!” Ugh. Shut up.