Twilight Can't Find a Book

Rainbow Dash was flying really fast over Ponyville. She wasn’t really going anywhere, she was just flying instead of doing her weather-related job like she was fucking supposed to. She was flying so fast she barely distinguished the purple and pink blurs that she zoomed over. The moment her microscopic brain processed this information, she made a U-turn and went back to meet her pony friends.

“Hey, guys! I was just flying around,” said the cocky pegasus. “What you guys doing?”

“Oh! Oh! I’ll tell her! We’re going to Twilight’s library to look for a place to get some licorice because I was making a cake and I thought it could use some licorice, so I thought, who knows where to find things?, and then I thought—”

“Pinkie! Sorry, Rainbow. Yes, we’re going to the library.” What she didn't say was, I like having friends to go to the library with, because it makes me feel less lonely, as I’m a useless lonely nerd who’s terrible at everything. Even though it’s not true, her magic is overpowered as all hell and she’s almost as powerful as Cadence. She once picked a dozen trees’ worth of apples with telekinesis, basically shitting on everything Applejack stands for.

“Okay, well. I’ll practice some more flying and then join you guys. I’m gonna have to borrow the new Daring-Do book!” They gave Rainbow Dash the ability to read. Rainbow fucking Dash. Sure, Applejack is basically illiterate, right?, because she’s an ignorant country bumpkin, right?, even though she can probably read better than anyone except Twilight, whose special talent is basically being a gigantic fucking nerd and also because she’s overpowered. Anyway, the Daring-Do episode was fan-pandering trash.

“Alright, Rainbow. See you later!”

“Bye, Dashie! Oh, boy, I can’t wait to get there already!”

“Calm down, Pinkie.” Yeah, calm the fuck down for one second, you ditz. “We're almost there.”