Posey stared at the water in the toilet bowl and sighed. Stupid possible morning sickness. She didn't know if she was knocked up, but it definitely made sense. She liked sex too much and had decided to not use any form of protection it was highly likely she was. It had been nearly three weeks since Sprout had been unceremoniously kicked out of his mom's place- and Sprout hadn't moved in with Hitch, that's for sure.

She spat into the toilet bowl and carefully got up, her legs hurting from sitting on the tile floor too long. Feeling her back pop as she got up, she looked in the mirror and smiled at the various new hair products cluttering her vanity. Sprout had moved in all of his things- or at least a Canterlogic affiliated moving company did, and his collection of beauty products surprised her. Not that he wasn't already hot, she just thought that most stallions didn't care about how they looked. She shrugged, maybe the whole idea of being the next in line for Canterlogic's CEO made him self conscious. She didn't fault him for that, after the horrible dinner the pair had with Phyllis, she understood why he might be slightly neurotic sometimes.

"Posey, you okay?" Sprout's voice came from the other side of the door. He sounded rather worried.

"I'm fine, just think something isn't agreeing with me all that much. I'll probably get over it." She stretched her limbs and walked out of the bathroom, the bright light of the day blinding her for a moment as she got out of the relatively dark and dingy bathroom. "Okay, so what magical nonsense do I have to do this week for my "good mare points" or whatever?"

Sprout rolled his eyes. "You probably aren't going to like it, but Sunny's friend has an idea."

Posey shivered at that. After Sprout had decided that Canterlogic properties were not the best choices for Posey's rehabilitation, and after he pretty much burned any remaining goodwill his mom actually had during the dinner, the two of them were pony non grata in the eyes of much of Maretime Bay. She didn't really give a fuck, since she already kind of was a non-entity in the Bay, but Sprout hadn't taken it so well.

Not that she minded mindless rutting during a romance movie. That was rather great, and the movie was so boring that fucking was a good alternative, but the sexual aftermath where he just sat there crying was kind of awkward. Posey still thought of him as a sexual masterclass in terms of cock, but emotionally? He was kind of a mess after he got his golden parachute taken away.

It had gotten slightly better but Sprout still looked like a mess- his hair wasn't as cared for, he looked exhausted, and he was always on edge if something bad happened. Which didn't bode well if she was actually pregnant after all the mind-blowng sex they had.

"Well, Sprout, hit me with it. Who is it?" Posey led with that question because 'Sunny's friend' could be anypony. Or at least five other choices. She hoped it was one of the pegasi, at least then she could attempt to connect with them, find a similar interest, maybe make a friend slowly in the process. The unicorn was her own creature and she hoped that it wasn't that friend.

"You know Sunny's unicorn friend? She has an idea for what is it? Unicycling some old stuff and selling it for a Bridlewood charity. Which surprised me, I mean I went to Bridlewood and I didn't think they knew what charity was since most of them just seemed like hardcore gambling addicts with how often they bet their stuff in games of chance. But no matter, Izzy is not the best choice, but I doubt Pipp would let you near Mane Melody without an apology or without a resume."

Posey grumbled and picked up a slice of pizza and stared at it for a while in thought. She still remembered all the weird nonsense Izzy did to her- ruining her showing of Trotsformers, being weird with that odd fake unicorn she made out of junk and started talking to like it was a real pony, and actually attacking her for her earrings for no discernable reason. In effect, Izzy was fucking insane.

"Fine. What's the worst that can happen?"

***

"Ta-dah!" Izzy waved her hooves around the small corner of the Brighthouse that she had claimed for herself. The bubbly unicorn currently had a pair of ill-fitting goggles on her and, as Posey looked down, she was covered in grime that the yellow earth pony balked at. "Welcome to Izzy's Wonderful Creation Station, name pending. I mean I'm not as good as Pipp when it comes to naming things, but the ideas are all in my noggin." Izzy smiled as she tapped on her head for a moment.

Posey shared a look with her stallion and the pair shrugged. Sprout had mellowed out since the first introduction of the Bridlewood unicorn, and he was annoyed with some of her antics, but he wasn't currently screaming bloody murder while wearing anti-unicorn hats. The last few months of working together had recontextualized a few things- and one of those things was Izzy herself. She was just odd, even in relation to unicorns.

"Okay, so while I've never really done community service work myself, I had Sunny try to explain it to me and it sounds like fun. Or at least interesting. And it's a two gems one stone situation since Alphabittle wanted me to do an art thing for Bridlewood and try to show this whole Friendship and Harmony stuff that Sunny talks about all the time. And Sprout came up to me and asked if I had ideas to help you out and I thought, who better to help me create a statue. I mean I'm going to be doing most of the creating, but you get to do the trash hunting."

Posey blinked, trying to understand what Izzy actually said in one breath. She just nodded as she deciphered the war of words that had spilled out of Izzy. "I don't really like trash all that much, though. I already did some work like this, and it wasn't that fun." Posey was trying to be nicer to most ponies, but Izzy was testing her patience. She slowly tapped her hoof as she wished the purple unicorn would get to her point.

Izzy stood still for a moment and looked at Posey like she grew a second head. "Who doesn't like trash? I mean, sure, its old and broken and all that, but that's where my unicycling comes in and gives it a coat of fresh paint and bing bang boom, new item that uses the old stuff and makes something new." Izzy waved her hooves in the air and looked up at the ceiling for a moment before coming back down to earth and looking Posey in the eye. "I get it. You just haven't used your imagination that much."

Posey breathed out and tried not to scream her feelings at this unicorn brick wall in front of her. "I use my imagination all the time. I mean I do flower arrangements and ran a nice team of ponies. . ." Posey blushed as a flash of memory hit, her mind conjuring up ideas for how to make her coltfriend scream her name. "My imagination gets used plenty, thank you."

Izzy shrugged. "Whatever, you missed the whole point I was trying to make. You need to learn how to chill out and, good for you, I'm a master of zen." Izzy pulled out a long list of things out of her desk and unrolled it, careful not to make the controlled chaos of her station worse. "Okay so we need to find a lot of loopity loops, but like huge ones. And some rocks or concrete to use for the statue and. . ."

Posey tuned Izzy out as made-up words and ideas hit her brain.

***

"So. . .how did you decide to move in with Posey?" Hitch crossed his hooves as he looked at his Deputy. He had heard through the Maretime Bay rumor mill of Sprout and Mrs. Cloverleaf having family issues, any family could and would. And Mrs. Cloverleaf was far from the most diplomatic of ponies but hearing that his deputy moved in with Posey threw him through a loop.

Sprout tapped his hooves together. He had worried for a while that Hitch might actually broach this topic. It wasn't like they were completely hiding that they lived together. At least he didn't bring up Posey's proclivity to start having sex in public. While this was an uncomfortable situation, he could bend the truth ever so slightly, not outright lying, but not painting a complete picture. "Heat of the moment? Uh, she can be very persuasive." Understatement of the century there, Sprout had fallen into a state of debauchery that his mother would balk at. He looked at Hitch and shrugged, trying not to hear his mind fill in the memories of Posey's dulcet moans.

Hitch facehoofed in slight annoyance. "Dude, I have a house you could have crashed at. A nearly empty guest bedroom. Stallion cave. Well, not as crazy as your old bedroom, but still adequate." Nothing could be as amazing as Sprout's spread of consoles and nearly self-contained "stallion island", as Hitch teasingly called it, but Hitch had a salary from the town that paid him well and he saved enough to splurge on items that he wanted. He wasn't made of money like the Cloverleafs, no pony was in the Bay, but he was definitely better off than most.

"Yeah, but I still remember our last sleepover, you spent most of the night explaining how Rubies and Hammertime musicals are the best things ever and spent four hours trying to show how musicals impacted film history. I fell asleep with you saying how Manespray is a cautionary tale about racism and inclusion."

Hitch looked at the back wall, imagining his extensive and methodical, and totally not bonkers, connective list of musicals. "Good times, good times. And I figured you had fallen asleep; I mean if you actually had listened to my musical advice, you wouldn't have sung a song about creating an angry mob. Or tried to make an earth pony utopia." Hitch smugly looked at Sprout and winked. "Musicals are amazing, dude. And somepony needs to work on their rhyming skills, Sprout." Hitch grinned as he remembered Sprout's special song that he created. "Seriously, rhyming mob with cob? Were you pulling rhymes out of a hat?"

Sprout crossed his hooves and looked down at his cup of coffee. "That happened one time. Have one moment you burst out into song and nopony lets you live it down. And I thought we weren't going to mention it again- I gave you two dozen cupcakes so you wouldn't hold that over my head for the rest of my life."

Hitch nodded and adjusted his sheriff badge. "I don't take bribes, Sprout, so while those were totally wonderful apple pie cupcakes, I know one thing and one thing only truly tastes amazing."

Sprout rolled his eyes, knowing exactly where this was going. He had listened to his one and only colthood friend have this same exact, or near exact, speech for two whole decades. "Here we go."

"Justice. Justice is best served cold, or hot, or even lukewarm. And it gets better with time." Hitch stood up and bent over his desk, staring at his red friend. "I get out there every single day to fix pony crime and try to make Maretime Bay a better place, even if it doesn't seem to care. I put my hooves on the pavement and run from the Brighthouse all the way to the beach and back again just to solve the smallest issue. All for little reward or thanks."

Sprout sighed. "Most of that is wildly overblown. I mean we solved a case involving stolen mayonnaise recently, and "the Brighthouse all the way to the beach" is like ten minutes tops. And you own your own house, you get paid well. Or should I forget that you just wondered why I didn't move into your guest room?" Sprout lazily looked at Hitch, who was breathing heavily after his short rant, his eyes sparkling with joy, probably imagining even more ludicrous metaphors about how great justice was."And this is why I said when I was ten that your favorite superhero should have been Batstallion, not Cyclops. Give you a sad backstory and some more money and you could be Wild Bronco, the Batstallion."

Hitch was pulled out of his reverie as he had caught some of Sprout's last few sentences and quickly rolled his eyes. "If it was anypony who would be Batstallion, it'd be you, Sprout. I mean your family owns Canterlogic, our very own Wild Enterprises."

Sprout grimaced at that thought, but said nothing, the sting of the last few weeks and his tacit approval of Canterlogic practices until now staying unsaid and hanging ever so uncomfortably in the air. "Yeah, that's true."

The pair's friendly discussion was cut short by a Sheriff phone ringing. Hitch held up a hoof, silently saying that, no this conversation was not truly over, but he would put a pin in it for now. "Hello? Sheriff's Office, Sheriff Hitch himself speaking."

Sprout couldn't hear much from the other end of the line besides the normal muffled mumbling that a worried bystander often had in Maretime Bay, their high-pitched yelling coming through loud and clear. Whatever the pony on the other end of the line was saying was making Hitch look rather worried.

"Thank you, concerned citizen, I, and my deputy will be right on our way." Hitch carefully placed the phone back on its holder and crossed his hooves in thought for a moment while glancing carefully at Sprout. That wasn't a good sign, a silent Hitch was worse than one who spent four hours boring him to death with musical facts. "So. . .that was Dahlia. And somehow Posey and Izzy have been causing a mess down in the shopping district. Like a lot of trouble."

Sprout groaned. Perfect.

***

"Neato, a thingamabobble." Izzy waved a random piece of trash around and looked at it, careful to see how it looked from all sides and hummed to herself as she probably created something in her mind with it.

Posey had spent the last few hours sifting through trash, feeling like she was doing something rather illegal in looking through ponies' random bits and bobs and almost ripping apart bags of trash to get something for Izzy's statuary that she was creating. It was even more difficult because the unicorn explained what she wanted in the weirdest, or most obtuse, way possible. An earring and a life preserver could be both 'ringly things' or a wood block and a book could be 'squarish things'. Nothing accounting for size or material or discernable markings that she could recognize were ever mentioned.

Posey's help often devolved to Izzy pointing at a random bit of trash and Posey retrieving it like a dog.

It was infuriating and she would have spent time screaming into the void if it had been weeks earlier, but this was the newer and improved Posey, she was trying to get outside of her comfort zone. And if she had to sit here looking at Izzy sorting through trash, she'd at least get something out of it. She could be helping Zipp teach pegasi how to fly, like Maretime Bay needed a busier airspace. So, she breathed out her mouth to not smell the trash, and looked at the purple unicorn, who was tossing entire bags of trash out of the dumpster to sort through, and Posey tried to start an actual conversation- because hearing Izzy babble on like a foal about trash was mind numbing. "So, 'unicycling' why do you even do it?" Posey had that thought for a while, because Izzy's unicycling and actual real world unicycling were completely different and it annoyed her.

Izzy looked at a rusted bit of scrap metal and floated it out of the dumpster. She looked at Posey and shrugged. "Always have. My family liked my stuff, they even called it creative and fun." Izzy sighed for a moment, getting lost in thought for a moment. "So, I kept doing it. And hey, Pipp calls it eco-friendly, whatever that means so I guess that I'm doing something right. Though she was also pissed when I used her hair dryer for parts. But that's nothing new. You should have seen how Bridlewood reacted when I tried unicycling and repairing their belongings. That was a tense time, almost ran me out of town. Though it was kind of a misunderstanding on my part, I wanted to fix up the clocktower, and well, they wanted to tear it down. Kind of turned into a bit of a standoff when I hoofcuffed myself to the hour hand." The unicorn wistfully looked at the myriad piles of trash around her. "Though I did get a good hour or two of spinning around, it was actually kind of fun. Good times, good times."

Posey sat there quietly for a moment, almost taken aback that she could have sworn there had been actual emotion and a puddle of depth for a brief moment with the purple unicorn, not just 'I sure am totally random, look at me' but something that almost felt familiar. Posey crushed that emotion, she was a new version of herself, but she was not going to feel sympathy or even kinship for Izzy, not yet at least. She had too many bad experiences with her, the myriad times she had been covered in spilled liquids, the random moments where Izzy just existed far too close to her for her own liking. She may be a new version of herself, but the past still slightly stung. Even if there might have been a glimmer of similarity between them, the two of them had ended up in completely different locations. She had faked being a competent member of society for more than a decade. Izzy was Izzy.

It didn't help that Izzy kept looking at her weird and throwing her off balance.

"Hey, Posey what was it like being a criminal?"

Posey cocked her head in confusion. Where had that come from? "What?"

"I was just asking. Cause you're really the first pony that I know that actually did something super crime-iny. I mean besides Sprout, but like Hitch said that was probably a stress thing. Or misunderstanding Hitch's words and 'keeping Maretime Bay safe' in like a bad way. But like you did a super crime. Like world ending stuff, but Sunny fixed it."

Posey grimaced. It was one thing to be judged by the entire town, or even be almost glorified by certain members in Canterlogic, but Izzy childishly explaining her crime like that was. . .almost demeaning. "I caused a race war, Izzy."

The purple unicorn shrugged. "Yeah, but that's your crime. Totally simple stuff. What I asked was 'how was it like' cause I don't have what Sunny called 'a frame of reference' about it. I know how I feel about unicycling stuff, that makes me feel good when I see how ponies react to my creations. I don't have any idea what actual crime is. Though that's kind of because Bridlewood kind of kept me out of their stuff. Not like unicorns don't do crime, I just never fit in with Bridlewood so I never saw ponies do crimes."

Posey facehoofed. She'd have to explain it in the most childish terms possible. "Crime is bad, because ponies don't like it. If I took stuff from a store, and didn't pay for it, that would be a crime." She sounded like the absolute dumbest pony aive at that moment, but she wanted to keep it simple. Posey didn't want to explain too much about premeditated crimes or even murder- she could just imagine the terrible stuff she'd be blamed for if a deceptively powerful unicorn like Izzy, or at least the most powerful one Posey knew about, learned about murder.

Izzy thought for a moment, silently letting Posey's words sink in. "Ah, I get it now. That's partially why Zipp, Pipp, and Sunny were so miffed at me using their stuff without asking. I was almost stealing their stuff. That makes a lot of sense actually. Silly me, I guess I was kind of a terrible roommate. . ."

Posey kept her eyes shut as she held onto Izzy for dear life. The unicorn had shoved all her random garbage in her motorized scooter and proffered her a helmet, 'for safety, duh' and one thing leading to another, the pair of ponies were careening through the streets of Maretime Bay far faster than any earth pony had a right to. And she was positively terrified whenever she opened her eyes even a little bit, the street zooming by, her head feeling lightheaded from the speed. She hoped that this wouldn't cause some sort of nightmare.

Maybe that's why pegasi seemed so dumb to her at first, it couldn't be healthy to have your brain speed along so quickly. It had to cut the blood flow or hurt something fierce. She chided herself as the Canterlogic methodology came flooding back, a massive list of reasons why earth ponies were better, safer, overall more competent when compared to the rest of the pony races. Of course saying that ponies going faster than a brisk jog was hazardous to their health sounded dumb, but she had a decade of brainwashing that she was trying to untangle herself from.

And yet, a niggling part of herself looked at Izzy barely cognizant of the rules of the road, living on the edge and giggling as she zipped around the mean streets of the Bay. Maybe Canterlogic was onto something about safety rules at least. The extremely dangerous race through town was terrifying, thrilling, and making her extremely motion sick.

Posey tapped furiously on Izzy's back to get the unicorn's attention and, for how scatterbrained and nonsensical the purple unicorn was, she did understand the general idea that Posey was attempting to tell her. Izzy hit the brakes and slid to a stop and turned to see the yellow pegasus run to the nearest bush and throw up her breakfast.

"Your sparkle is like extra sparkly today. Or at least there's more than one color which usually means you're in the family way. I mean I've seen sparkles since I was little and I'm almost never wrong. Or ponies think I'm wrong and it turns out I was right the whole time. That kind of stings when ponies don't believe me. Maybe it's just cause I'm bad at explaining things. Huh, I should ask Sunny about that, that sounds like something she'd love to study."

Posey blinked, the sun beating down and blinding her for a moment as her senses went back to normal. "What was that?"

Izzy shrugged and pulled out a few snacks from her bag and waved them in front of Posey's face. "You want some? I love me some pretzel sticks when I'm not feeling right." Izzy hummed and put them away again since Posey stared at her like she was nuts. That was nothing new. The purple unicorn ran a hoof through her mane nervously before she started to speak again. "Okay, so Bridlewood kind of hated my sparkle gift. Like a lot. But it's hard keeping a secret and well, when ponies get one sparkle color for their whole entire life and its unchanging, and then another color pops in alongside it, it kind of means one thing. Well, I learned what it meant more often than not. There was once or twice when a sparkle changing meant something slightly different, but that's kind of rare."

Izzy looked down at the ground for a moment. "I told a pony that her parents were expecting. Turns out they were and, well, they weren't being faithful to one another, so I kind of caused a divorce." Izzy closed her eyes and shrugged. "Lost a friend there. Lost a lot of Bridlewood acquaintances like that." Izzy breathed out, letting the past become the past again. "But then I came here, and the Bay is great. I mean Sunny's great and everyone's great."

Posey grimaced, feeling a hint of kinship forming with the nonsensical mare. Fantastic, two towns could both have outcasts, it was her own fledgling sympathy that made her see a glimmer of herself in the unicorn. She looked away, slightly blushing as she tried to corral her emotions. "So, you can just tell I am pregnant? Fucking great."

Izzy tapped a hoof on her chin and nodded. "Okay, so Sunny's been trying to explain to me what sarcasm is, and I think that was sarcastic. It sounded like it."

Posey sighed. "Yes, yes it was."

Izzy nodded, happy that she had sussed out the sarcasm. It was hard to figure out sarcasm. Though it might have been the years of isolation and loneliness that she had spent in Bridlewood, her gift isolating her into a life of creativity and solitude. "Score one for Izzy." The purple unicorn beamed. "Idea. Big idea. I mean I was going to go to the craft store for some things but now I have to add onto that a boinking present. Cause you boinked with somepony and that's super cool. I mean as long as it was like consensual, not cheaty boinking. Or illegal boinking. That's not cool."

Posey inwardly screamed as she realized that yes, Izzy Moonbow vaguely knew what sex was. And that was a horrifying idea. "Wonderful. Wonderful. Just freaking great." Maybe the unicorn tricked her or something. Izzy had almost seemed actually sad about some past events and, a moment later, seemed right as rain.

Izzy picked up the confused earth pony in her magic. "I know, right? To the craft store! For crimes against fashion and decency!"

***

Sugar Moonlight sighed as she looked through her craft store. She had had a few interesting months with the besmirching of Canterlogic, there was no longer much need for catwalk models for the yearly creations of the Cloverleafs, and so she had lost a rather lucrative job in the changing climate of unity. Not that she particularly minded, unlike some of her other fellow models, she had saved up for a rainy day, or at least saved up for the eventual final result where she was no longer truly hot- not that she wasn't hot. . .enough stallions pined after her to make that particularly false- but she'd one day need a bit of cash.

And so, she saved up her earnings, or at least enough to be rather comfortable- not too many expenses and just enough money coming in that she could run her dream store between modeling jobs and be fine if she had bad months- though with the influx of ponies from Zephyr Heights and Bridlewood, the need for a high-quality craft store was immense. Sugar Moonlight laughed and looked in her mirror, glancing over the store and its products through the reflective glass surfaces and quickly fixing her glitter makeup.

And so, she had switched from a lucrative model job with a craft store on the side during the lean months, to becoming a full-fledged, full time craftmaker. And she came to work every day and loved almost every second of it.

She loved working and coming up with new ways to scrapbook or use all the electronic media for creative ventures, but there was one thing that was a complete faux pas- and that was not looking her best at nearly every moment.

She glanced up at the sound of the tinkling bell and froze as at least one unicorn strode in and acted like she owned the place, though with how often Izzy Moonbow entered into the craft store, she did in a way. Though that was mainly because the unicorn held her own against Sugar's creative streak- the lavender earth pony was good at simple crafts- a scrapbook here, a folded book there, maybe some woodworking if she had to. Izzy was a craft goddess, able to create something out of literal trash- it was craft alchemy to the earth pony mare.

"Izzy, any new creations you want to tell me about? Or let me photograph for the store to show what a crafty pony can come up with out of scotch tape, cardboard, and glitter?" Sugar cursed to herself, she sounded desperate. " I mean if you want to."

Izzy shrugged. "Nothing new yet, I haven't really made something truly special since Zipp's Investo-Goggles." Izzy explained carefully about the hijinks of creating a completely functional pair of goggles that could see multiple spectrums of light out of scrounged materials. Zipp had had a need for a tool to help be he best, if only, pegasi detective that the unicorn knew of, and Izzy had stepped up to the task. "that was fun, though finding the right crystals to slot into the goggles was a real nightmare. . .hey so I'm going to get a few things. Can you explain to my friend here. . ." Sugar followed Izzy's pointed hoof and cringed as she saw fucking Posey Bloom in her store. "-occupied for a bit. She's not really the crafty type."

"Sure. Welcome to All That Glitters, the Bay's number one craft store. . ." Sugar Moonlight let her welcoming spiel die on her lips as she turned and looked at Posey. The lavender earth pony smiled, unable to fully commit to it as she stared at the pony she had banned from her store. "Yeah, I know you. Need help finding anything, Izzy?"

Izzy shook her head. "Nah, I know this store better than the back of my hooves. Though that's only cause I don't look at them that much. I mean color me surprised when I saw that Pipp had heart hooves, like actual hearts on the bottom of her hooves, and she said everypony had them. That's what hooves look like. I thought she was crazy until I turned my hoof over and bang, heart hoof. Completely blew my mind when I found that out. But yeah, stuffed bear, tape, string, pillows, hoofcuffs, and knitting needles. Nothing much. Think I know where most of those are anyway."

Sugar hummed as she looked at the nervous wreck that was standing in her store. Posey was shaking like a leaf, though she understood, it wasn't everyday somepony entered a store that they had been explicitly banned from. Well, unless they were an idiot and wanted to get taken to court for some shit. She had a whole ass restraining order placed on her and Posey, either willingly or not, technically broke it. Sugar waited for Izzy to glide into the back of the store, the bubbly unicorn oblivious to the sheer amount of anger radiating off the lavender earth pony.

". . .what are you doing here, Posey?"

Posey twiddled her hooves, actually unable to stare the shop owner in her pink eyes. "Izzy's going to rob you blind. Like get out before shit gets crazy."

Sugar sighed. "Izzy's harmless, Posey, unlike you who came into my craft store, bought a whole lot of random shit I put out on the shelves and made literal hate signs with it. Multiple times. Like you and your cronies in the Morality Police or whatever nonsense you came up with used my stuff to burn shit all over town."

Posey cringed as she relived a few too many memories of her taking things way too far. "I'm sorry, okay, I messed up, my bad."

Sugar rolled her eyes at that apology. "Yeah, yeah. I'd forgive you, but then you came into my store again, singing a slightly different tune, maybe you had changed your ways, maybe not. Either way you had a lot of bits and bought up my stuff again. And you know what you did with it that time?"

Posey did.

"You wrote hate filled slogans all over my stuff and paraded your lynch mob all over town calling for a race war. I'm almost glad the void of nothingness almost swallowed up the town because I was on the cusp of sending you to the hospital in a body cast. Not very friendly of me, but you know, breaking my trust multiple times actually kind of hurts. Not like you'd know how that feels."

Posey chuckled at that. Yeah, like the fashion model knew how to throw hooves. She'd probably write a strongly worded letter that Posey would have taken one look at and thrown into a fire without a second thought. "You'd have fought me or something, yeah, like that would have gone well for you." She felt confident in her strength and doubted a flimsy model such as Sugar Moonlight, the pony who was half made up of glitter with how garish her makeup looked, could touch her.

Sugar Moonlight narrowed her eyes and glared at the yellow nuisance. "Had to keep in shape for modeling, and unlike some of my peers, I actually took up a few self-defense classes. I am not a master of it, but I definitely know Crave Maga. I'm a brown belt in it. I could break every bone in a pony's body." The normally chipper earth pony glared daggers at Posey as she tapped a hoof on her counter. "I just choose not to most days."

Posey nervously looked around and hoped Izzy didn't have a death wish. Or that the unicorn wasn't a complete idiot. "Fuck. Well, that complicates a few things. Hey, Moonbow, we have a problem. Like a major one."

Izzy popped back out of the back, her magic levitating a bag filled to the brim with nonsense. Posey wasn't a craft savvy anything, so it just looked like more trash to her, or at least well-kept junk. "Like what. something bad enough so I can't go break bad and turn to a life of crime and live out on the edge of pony decency? Bummer, I was coming up with names for my gang of miscreants- I'm torn between the Imagineers and Alpacalyptica. Give me a few more seconds, I almost have all the stuff I'm stealing."

Posey nervously chuckled.

Sugar Moonlight looked between the pair of ponies and sighed as she came to the realization that something nefarious- or at least stupid, was happening. And the earth pony was one hundred and ten percent sure that it was Posey's fault yet again. "Izzy put down that bag or so help me, I'm going to call every law officer in the Bay to come arrest you."

Izzy waved a hoof, completely brushing aside the comment. She was sure the only two cops in town were friendly enough anyway. "Posey, it's just Moonie and as a fellow name haver with Moon in it, I think she's completely harmless. Like we can just take her stuff and I'll just put one of these handy dandy I.O.U. stickers on the counter and we're good. I mean Pipp explained to me how internet money works and I believe these stickers are legal tender. Or at least I can pay for all this stuff anyway, but I don't want to right now. . ."

Izzy slapped down a few stickers with "I.O.U" written on them in marker and smiled. "I call it 'Bitcoin' and since its backed by the central bank of 'I'm good for it' it is actual money.

Posey wanted to be anywhere but near Izzy, she had expected some chaos, some buffoonery even, but when Sprout explained that this was going to be pretty much a simple 'help Izzy create a statue' kind of request, she hadn't expected any of this. She'd rather be sitting in fucking jail, unable to see Sprout for the entire year. And she was kind of addicted to that stallion dick of his. But she'd rather give up that than having to explain to both Hitch and Sprout how she let Izzy do an actual crime. Or whatever nonsense this was turning out to be. It at least felt like a sick joke.

"Izzy, I like you a lot. At least more than this pile of crap right here." Sugar Moonlight glared at her headache inducing customer. "But I can't let you leave without paying actual, real life, bits for it."

Izzy rolled her eyes. "Well, duh, that's what makes this a crime, silly. Or at least that's how Posey explained it to me. I'm taking something from a store and totally not paying for it in physical bits. So it's a crime."

"Pay me actual money. Or I'm going to do things I might actually regret later cause I like you."

Izzy thought for a moment and sighed. "Okay, okay, give me a moment. I'll just pull out some bits and pay for it." Izzy wiggled her hooves behind her, grabbing nothing and turned away from the counter. "Hmm, couldn't find any. See you later."

Sugar Moonlight grabbed firmly onto Izzy's long tail. "Nope. I'm not letting you go."

Izzy tried to squirm out of the livid earth pony's grip. "Ouchie, okay. Note to self, long tails are a crime hazard. Good to know." The two ponies stared at each other for a moment. "Okay, Plan B."

Posey didn't like the sound of that. If Plan A was this terrible, what was bad enough to be Plan B?

Izzy grinned and pointed at her horn. "You may be stronger than I expected, but I'm a unicorn and there's one thing unicorns love to do." Izzy fired up her horn and quickly shook Sugar Moonlight off of her tail. "And that's seeing how far we can toss ponies." Izzy flicked the furious shop owner as fast as she could away from her, sending the pony through her front window with a deafening crash.

Posey and Izzy shared a quick horrified look.

"What the fuck, Moonbow, that's way too far."

Izzy looked down at her hooves, unable to look at the smashed out front window that Sugar Moonlight had sailed through. "I didn't mean to throw her that hard. Just a quick toss, but I haven't done that before with my magic, so I tossed. . .oh Sunny's going to be so mad at me. What do I do now?"

Posey looked at the bag of now solidly stolen items and picked it up. She would have left that shit there, but with how Izzy totally did one crime, what was another one? "Easy, run away. Run far away until this blows over."

***

Sprout looked at the carnage of the craft store and tried to calm down. He had expected some hijinks, some goofs and gaffes, maybe even a joke or two to let Posey relax from the last few weeks of him moving in and adjusting to their new reality. She had been on edge since they had the disastrous meal with his mother, totally understandable, but here he was sitting in front of Sugar Moonlight's store. He was barely holding it together. He had expected that Izzy would be functionally harmless. He mentally kicked himself. Fuck, he should have gone with his gut and decided Zipp was a safer choice. No, he had to go with the unicorn.

". . .so I was totally pissed off that Posey broke her order to stay far away from me. Sure, maybe I was a bit on edge, but having the one pony that everyone knows is bad for business in my store? I saw red. Then Izzy comes up behind me, argues with me for a few minutes about how stupid stickers are legal money and talking about the internet and tosses me out the window a minute later. Posey must have put her up to it, cause even when Izzy acts stupid, she's not like this."

Hitch paced back and forth, his honorary animal sidekicks sitting comfortably on his back. He flipped through the testimony, looking for any clues that could give him a trail to follow. "They came in together though. And going off Posey's itinerary given so nicely by my Deputy, it looks like they were getting supplies for a statue, so that's not completely out of whack. It makes sense why Izzy might need to go to a craft store, it's just all the stuff that happened after that needs some explanation."

Sprout wanted to cry because he was conflicted. He had been torn between his duty for the job, especially now that his mother had cut off most of his allowance, he had to actually give a shit about his job. He had to help split costs somehow. But he also wanted to cover for Posey because he actually did care for her, and Hitch was persistent in the stomping out of crime. He had once busted a crime ring of foals who just baked brownies and sold them for profit- they had been busted for foal labor laws.

Sprout had never heard of foal labor laws before. Canterlogic didn't have any. So whatever Hitch came up with there was primarily to fill his need for justice.

In effect, Posey was fucked. But not in the hot way.

Sugar Moonlight brushed her mane, the action causing a fine mist of glitter to sparkle and fall around her. "I didn't know that. I thought Posey had been doing Canterlogic shit, I mean Windy was helping out one week, right? Surprised Sunny would even want that piece of work near any of her friends. I mean Posey's more likely to corrupt them than do actual good." She crossed her hooves and rolled her eyes as she thought about the yellow earth pony,

Hitch nodded, letting the comment about one of his oldest friends slide to keep the witness, and the victim, open to his questioning. "Yes, well Sunny is totally doing her own thing. Now were you able to see where they went, I mean after they tossed you out of your own establishment. . ." Hitch flipped through his notebook. "one 'All That Glitters'? Nice name by the way."

"Thanks, and no. I mean I was lucky enough I didn't cut myself too badly, just some scratches and the like."

Hitch nodded. "Well, I'll get McSnipps-A-Lot and the flock of seagulls here to provide more support. And we'll spread out and get moving. I doubt that they could have gotten all that far, even with unicorn teleportation, they'll be worried and afraid because there's few things that can keep me off the case."

Sprout slowly followed Hitch towards the center of town, his legs quaking as he ran through multiple, equally terrible, ideas as to how the final chase and arrest would be. He had dealt with his mom's anger decently well. He had finally gotten to daily panics about how his life would be without the golden safety net of Canterlogic. He was worried about letting it slip that maybe, hypothetically, just as a joke that he had been railing Posey like a madstallion and hadn't mentioned that at all to Hitch.

And it would probably slip out in some way. If Posey didn't fess up during Hitch's interrogation, the hour of worry that this case had caused him would. He was not one who did that well under friendly scrutiny. Sure, in a business situation, he did wonderfully, the years of training his mom had put him through accounted for something, but he lied terribly.

And Hitch could smell a pony lying from a mile away.

***

Sunny Starscout looked at Izzy and facehoofed. Izzy had speedrun through the day's events, telling each and every awkward and painful detail of the day and waited expectantly for the sometimes alicorn to respond.

"Nope, not helping. If you can imagine it, I have a smoothie stand to run." To hammer this point home, Sunny pointed a hoof at the sign that welcomed ponies for a sweet treat. "And Hitch is going to lose his mind about a whole lot of things. Especially the whole Posey being pregnant thing. No offense."

Posey shrugged. Sunny had taken most of the day's events in stride surprisingly well. "None taken. I mean, sure Izzy says I am, and I might be since I have been off recently, but I'm not certain about it. So, can I have a peanut butter banana smoothie then? I mean if you aren't going to hide Izzy. Which makes total sense honestly. I wouldn't either."

Sunny cringed slightly at the mention of bananas, her internet notoriety as a newly minted internet meme still stung ever so slightly, even if Pipp told her to 'own her fails' whatever that truly meant. Pipp often spoke in internet lingo. She had asked Zipp about her sister's constant use of apps and her obsession with her phone, but Zipp had just shrugged and muttered about Pipp being 'terminally online'. Sunny had dropped the issue and moved on.

"Sure, as long as you are paying actual money for it." Sunny added the ingredients to the blender and half listened to Izzy as she got to work.

"Bummer, I mean Hitch is going to look for us at the Brighthouse and Posey's place, I just thought that going somewhere that he wouldn't expect would be a good idea."

Sunny rolled her eyes. "It's Hitch, he'd look here eventually. I'm not hiding you in my smoothie stand forever. It's not set up for ponies actually squatting here. It's a food truck in all but name." Sunny quickly checked the consistency of the smoothie, nodded to herself, and poured it into a nearby plastic cup and handed it to Posey, taking the yellow earth pony's proffered bits. "Anyway, you'd get lonely here. Probably bored, and you'd attempt to come back and say you need to sleep in my bed again."

Posey almost spit out her drink as she heard that.

Izzy smiled. "Well, you offered, and we had a whole lot of fun the first time. And the next few times. Though Zipp and Pipp were mad we were so loud."

"They were mad that you thought having sex in the same room as others was a great idea. They were attempting to sleep." Sunny blushed as she remembered that memory. the quick touch of untested hooves, Izzy's heady scent that she had grown accustomed to, the feel of the taller unicorn enveloping her in her warm and cuddly embrace.

"And yet you didn't change your mind and say no more romps in your bed." Izzy hummed to herself. "I mean the Brighthouse is way bigger than my place in Bridlewood and yet you kept thinking 'hey, I'll boink right here in the bedroom."

Posey looked at the two mares and groaned. "So you two are. . ."

Izzy nodded. "Yep, consensually boinking. Though it's not like you aren't doing the same. That's the thing though I'm still confused on who you had fun with. I mean it's not Hitch, he'd say it was an abuse of power, whatever that means, and there's only so many choices in Maretime Bay." Izzy rubbed her hooves together. "It's a mystery wrapped inside a conundrum made into an enchilada. A tasty mystery if you will."

"Hold it right there you two." Hitch walked carefully into view, followed by a rather nervous Sprout in tow. "We need to have a talk."

Izzy waved a hoof at Hitch. "Give me a moment, I'm trying to figure out something here and it's going to bug me until I get it done." Izzy shrugged. "Drat, right on the tip of my tongue. Any hints you can give me Posey, I mean since you were the one boinking this mystery."

Izzy glanced at both Posey and Sprout who were looking far away from each other, their body language telling her more than she needed to know in that moment, and their sparkles reacting to one another like they had the biggest, bestest secret ever that they wanted to hide from the world. And Izzy Moonbow was terrible at keeping such a juicy secret. "Oh, I get it. Sprout and Posey are doing it." Izzy facehoofed and shook her head. "Seriously how did I miss that solution. I mean they're like the same pony just slightly different, if you know what I mean. I mean Pipp calls Posey 'the female Sprout' and it fits. Ponies who are kind of prickly and have a soft interior, both did evil stuff. Probably some other things. . . I mean come on it writes itself."

Hitch stood there for a moment, completely speechless, a rarity for the stallion. He cleared his throat for a moment, to gather his thoughts and looked everypony dead in the eye as he tried to stay calm. "Everypony, we definitely need to have a talk now."

Sunny raised her hoof. "Including me? I mean I wasn't doing anything."

Hitch sighed. "Including you Sunny, accessory to crimes and all that."

Sunny groaned and flipped her open sign to closed

Izzy grinned. "Neat. Maybe he'll ask us about our very own relationship.

***

Sprout looked uncomfortably at his oldest stallion friend who was coolly sizing him up in the interrogation room, the florescent lights buzzing away as neither spoke for a minute. They had walked to the station in near silence and had left the mares outside the room just to talk stallion to stallion.

Or at least that had been the plan.

Hitch flipped through his casebook and sighed. "So, you've made the criminal I told you to watch pregnant."

Sprout tapped his hooves, thinking back on the last few weeks. Posey had been spending more time in the morning staring at the inside of a toilet bowl. He had brushed that off as just some possible nerves- he had been on edge because of the new space he actually shared with his mare. He did enjoy waking up and seeing her in the morning light, her hooves wrapped firmly around his middle like she was scared he would leave her. It was quant and nice and he didn't have servants lining up and telling him exactly what to eat every day. As Posey often said, 'every day can be pizza day, if you burn enough calories. And the pair did since they had spent the last few weeks getting to know how roommates with benefits worked. Sprout blushed heavily as he tried to make sense of the last few weeks. "Maybe? I don't know. Ask Posey about that. She'd maybe know more, or not. She hasn't gone to the hospital to check at least."

Hitch put his hooves together and sighed. "Not my job, dude. Do that on your own time. All I know is that you folded like a deck of cards when Izzy even mentioned it could be a thing. I've never even seen you cry on command before, but that sure did it. I don't know how Izzy's sparkle magic even works since she's near incomprehensible when it comes to magic. I doubt her reading a pony's sparkle even could be used as actual evidence in a crime. But either way I let you handle the Posey situation and you two. . ." Hitch looked for the exact quote Posey had used. "-and I quote, "rutted and nutted like there was no tomorrow. And Sprout is so ungodly hung that he makes stallions seem lacking in comparison.' Hitch shivered as he said that, he'd have nightmares about what that truly meant for weeks. "I'm. . .so annoyed, Sprout. Finding out that both you and Sunny have both found ponies to have sex with, and I haven't."

Sprout blinked. He didn't know how to take that information. First of all, that Hitch had shifted the conversation to a topic that came out of left field, and secondly, that Hitch Trailblazer- the pony all of Maretime Bay lusted over enough that there was a thriving black market of Hitch pinup calendars, was a virgin. "Fucking what are you talking about, Hitch." Sprout carefully looked around, ready for this to be a completely new and novel interrogation tactic from the hunky stallion. "Are you punking me?"

Hitch rested his head on the table and looked dejectedly at his buddy. The day of weirdness had taken it out of him, he long walk to the station had let his mind race and wander as Izzy had blabbed about things that he didn't need to know- not about Sprout, not about Sunny. But he learned it and it had hurt. "No."

Sprout ran a hoof through his mane in shock. "But don't you have a ton of sex? Or at least you should. The whole town wants to bone you- I thought I was gay for a time because I thought I couldn't get laid, and I bought your calendars and wanked a few out to see if I was gay or not. The test was inconclusive, but I still am jealous you have perfect abs."

Hitch cocked his head at Sprout, now fully confused at what Sprout had just said. "What?"

Sprout blushed and waved his hooves. "Nothing, forget I ever said that. Doesn't leave this room." He mentally kicked himself and hoped Posey hadn't somehow been listening on the other side of the door- she'd never let him live it down that he had been somewhat attracted to Hitch. She had been floating an idea of trying out some strap-ons or dildos to spice up their already spicy sex life. He hadn't answered, but he thought that sounded ungodly hot.

"Okay. Will do." Hitch let it slide, because he had grown slightly accustomed to the town's attraction to him. It just threw him off that Sprout, of all ponies, blurted out something like that.

Sprout breathed out. "Good, but the point still kind of stands- you could probably get half the town without trying and you normally exude confidence, I'd have expected you and Pipp to be going steady by this point. It's kind of all over the shitty gossip mags that you seem close enough to be dating." Sprout had opened a fair few of those terrible rags to see what they thought about him and his mother enough times to pick up other tidbits of gossip by osmosis.

Plus, it didn't help that Pipp Petals, nationwide musical sensation, business owner, and literal princess was often plastered all over the internet and things like that. It was a constant stream of her everyday existence that made the most banal moment of her day a headline event. It wasn't Sprout's fault that whenever Pipp breathed, the world thought it deserved to be front-page, hard-line news.

Hitch crossed his hooves. "I get nervous around her. Pipp is kind of intimidating."

Sprout nearly busted out laughing at that. The pony that was, at least, a whole head shorter than everyone else, a shade of bright pink, and had what looked like fluffy clouds for wings was intimidating to Hitch? That was ridiculous. "You're kidding. She's harmless. Well unless her phone breaks or something." He had heard that the pink mare had a rather close connection to her online existence. "Other than that, completely harmless."

Hitch shrugged. "I'm not intimidated by her. Just the princess part. I mean she's royalty and I'm just good looking. Supposedly. Because even with all this hotness, I'm the last pony out of our friend group to get laid. And that's before her albums, or her internet stardom. She's all that and I'm me. Sure, I guess I'm okay looking but she's like a radiant star in comparison."

Sprout cringed. He had expected Hitch to be down bad for Pipp, that was likely, but not to the level of 'she's a radiant star, and I'm not.' That felt super desperate. "Sure, but I kind of fell into my relationship. One moment, I was worried she'd angrily destroy me, the next I was getting a hoofjob in a pizza shop. It kind of just happened. Just ask her out. I mean she seems attracted to you. Or have I misunderstood the multiple times she's come in and waited for you to come back for patrol. Sometimes for more than a half hour It's kind of odd."

Hitch composed himself and lightly smiled. "Interesting, she often said she had just come in. I guess. . .I could work up some courage to see how she is doing. A date even." Hitch cleared his throat. "Also, I'm going to have to write you up for public indecency. Can't have my deputy break laws because he is a part of the law. Bad for the image I'm trying to cultivate for the badge. You can let Posey and Izzy in now. I have that off my chest- now back to trying to figure out exactly what happened so I can get Maretime Bay certain it was just a bad misunderstanding and not that Izzy was some secret unicorn triple agent that lulled us into a false sense of security. Can imagine the field day Canterlogic has when this news truly hits the streets."

***

"-and that's how I yeeted an earth pony out of a window. Hope I used that internet word right, it just sounded so whimsical when Pipp said it. Internet lingo is fun." Izzy beat her hooves against the table, unable to fully sit still since it was a rare occurrence that somepony interrogated her. She didn't like it all that much, sure she might use this idea for later roleplaying material with Sunny, but actually being forced to answer questions about a spur of the moment decision? Boring.

Posey nodded. "Well, I'd say it differently and with less tangential information, but yeah it was mostly an accident. Just write it up like 'this was Posey's fault' and move on or something. That isn't technically wrong."

Hitch sighed. "so you two entered the shop for, let's see, 'almost no reason' and tossed our resident glitter pony out of her craft store. Just because Sugar Moonlight herself, misunderstood a joke of yours?" He had spent the last hour trying to piece together Izzy's story and Posey's aside comments and had barely figured it out. He looked down at his notebook and saw the mass of scribbles and notes that looped in on themselves, a real tangled web for something so deceptively simple.

Izzy shook her head. "There was an actual reason, Hitch. I had to get supplies for this-" Izzy rooted through her bag and pulled out a little teddy bear with a large stuffed heart in its fluffy paws. It gazed at Hitch with a comically exaggerated angry scowl. "cause it's not every day I get chances for foal presents. Izzy fired up her magic and let the little bear flop around in a bad imitation of a dance. "Whapdadee, whapdadoo, it is I, Mr. Bear and I am good at two things, giving hugs and being angry. Look at my cute angry face."

"You did all that for a bear. . ." Hitch wondered what Sunny saw in the purple unicorn, but let that question die unsaid as he didn't need to know her private moments. "Wonderful."

Izzy rolled her eyes. "I made this bear out of stuff by unicycling it. There wasn't an exact bear like this, that'd be silly. I thought it might be nice to give something like this. I mean it's kind of the first one I've ever given a pony. Cause most ponies learn they're carrying a new passenger and all that and get mad. Sunny says I have zero subtlety. Which is weird cause I'm at least a medium in sneakiness. You'd think I'd be medium in being subtle." Izzy hummed to herself for a moment until speaking again. "Plus, Posey did help me figure out the statue I'm making."

Posey cocked her head. "I did?" Posey had nearly forgotten about the statue.

Izzy nodded, quickly snatching both Hitch's notebook and his pen. Izzy sketched the statue's general shape with a quick flourish and passed it to the pair of earth ponies. "See, my uncle Alphabittle wanted me to make a nice and simple statue to make our Bridlewood town square a little less crystal filled. Though I do love crystals. Something to show the three pony races working together. So, if I alter what happened today ever so slightly, add some wings to the statue above the unicorn statue here, add some plant-like doodads here, it looks like a statue showing off the magic of the three races, and not me tossing a pony out of a window. Genius if I say so myself."

Hitch blankly stared at the unicorn, her smug aura mocking him, and groaned. "Okay, okay, but I can't let whatever this is go. Izzy, you threw somepony out a window and destroyed property. I can't just have you walk free just because you actually did whatever you set out to do. It breaks protocol."

"Neato, jail sleepover. Can I invite Sunny? She'd love seeing what Maretime Bay prisons are like. Though, just glancing out there, you kind of are in second place. Zephyr Heights' prison had a day spa and that was wonderful. . ."

***

Posey laid down on the bed and stared at the pregnancy test in her hooves. She had decided to take one on a whim, Izzy's weird words about sparkles and her actually being pregnant had been swimming through her mind. The day's events and complete craziness had muted her worries about it- it had been near impossible to care if she was knocked up or not, but with her and Sprout now fully ensconced within their shared house, she could turn her mind to it.

She had done the test a few minutes earlier and sat their waiting for it to complete. It wasn't like she knew exactly what she was doing- she had used protection for her other sexual encounters so a situation like this had been nearly impossible. She felt uncomfortable and squirmed as her nerves kicked in, her other hoof gently touching where a baby would be if there was one.

She glanced back at the test and watched as it came back positive.

"Hey, Sprout, can you come in here, please?"

The red stallion cantered into the bedroom in slight worry since Posey's voice had quivered slightly as she spoke. "Something wrong, Pose?"

Sprout looked rather silly to Posey in that moment. He had on an apron and a few oven mitts on since he had been cooking their dinner of pizza. She hadn't asked what kind of pie they were having, and she barely cared now. She carefully waved the pregnancy test in front of his eyes. "I'm pregnant."

Sprout sat there quietly and took that in. "I mean I'm not really surprised, but are you sure? Like really sure?"

Posey narrowed her eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

The stallion backpedaled with haste as he noticed that his yellow mate bristled at his comments. "I'm just saying, that's like one test. I thought I heard stuff like that could be wrong, like a false positive. I'm not worried about you being pregnant, that'd be hypocritical what with me being part of. . .all this." He waggled a hoof over Posey's middle.

The yellow mare rolled her eyes. "If you're so worried that one test is wrong, I could do another one. Or even use non-Earth pony tests, if you think Canterlogic approved ones don't work on your family." Posey grinned.

Sprout blushed. "No, I doubt Mother would do that to a test. Though this does make my plans kind of get slightly muddled. Not that I mind that, after how Canterlogic ran my life, a challenge might be fun. . .but I've barely figured out a way to make homemade pizza. I thought I'd have way more time to plan taking over Canterlogic itself, not have a seven-month timeframe."

"It's eleven months or so for ponies, if I got a positive result, that's what, seven or eight weeks along. Where in the world did you get seven months? Going by math alone, I'd have nine more until something comes."

Sprout breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, that's better. I asked my mom how babies were made once and she said it took nine months, or thereabouts."

Posey closed her eyes and shook her head. "Seems like your mom was an idiot or lied to you. Just have to write that up on 'things we have to work on' then. Though I don't mind teaching you about it, I mean if you're unsure on how long a pregnancy lasts, that just means we have to do more fucking until you aren't clueless."

Sprout turned crimson and ran a hoof through his mane, unable to look at his marefriend for a moment as lewd thoughts hit him. He then looked at his oven mitt covered hooves and realized that he had pizzas in the oven. "Fuck." He dashed out as the smell of burned pizzas hit the pair of ponies.

Posey could hear the dumb stallion muttering to himself and the sounds of crashes and bangs as she walked into the kitchen. Turning the corner, she got a face full of his undercarriage as she watched him scurry over her counters like a madstallion, waving a rag as a billow of smoke came out of the oven.

Her fire alarm blared for a moment as the wafting smoke hit the room.

"Guess pizza is out for today, huh?"

Sprout weakly nodded. "Sorry." He waved the rag near the smoke alarm and the blaring sound stopped for a moment, He got down from the counter on shaky hooves and lay his head down. "My bad."

Posey shrugged and undid the latch for her windows and opened her room to the outside air to let the room clear slowly of smoke. She could smell the faint scent of flowers on the breeze and smiled, letting her hooves run through her cute stallion's mane for a moment. It was uncharacteristic of her to be so affectionate in that way, her love language was more often than not a one-way trip to poundtown, not light caresses and moments such as this.

She chalked it up to her mix of new hormones from the baby that was growing ever so slowly inside her.

"I felt like having dessert anyway."

"Is that a euphemism for sex?"

Posey shook her head. "Nah, I mean ice cream, though that doesn't write out sex, dummy." She kissed Sprout gently on his muzzle and snuggled beside him. "But, next time, can you please choose anypony other than Izzy for my rehabilitation? I can only handle her in small doses. Plus, I introduced her to crime- I think I'm a terrible influence on ponies."

Sprout laughed. "What makes you say that? You've only influenced me and her."

Posey pouted. "I had so much sex with you that I'm pregnant, and Izzy is in jail. I mean its zero for two."

Sprout booped Posey on the nose. "Izzy's 'having a sleepover in jail', her words. And I wouldn't change anything. So, I think it's more two-zero. So, what ice cream do you want?"

Posey smiled to herself. "Surprise me."

Author's Note

this was a fun, if odd, chapter to write. Izzy continues to be my favorite character of G5