Diaries of the Anonymous Filly

They sent someone down to hose down the floor of my cage not long after Tempest left, and then the soldiers opened a hatch up above slapped a hook on top of the cage. Once they winched me up top, I could hear the ship's captain screaming his head off at a bunch of soldiers. Sorry, not sorry, I thought as I witnessed him throw two guys off the side of the airship. Of course, they did make the idiotic mistake of admitting that they had discussed getting some revenge.

Much to my surprise, when Tempest Shadow approached my cage, she seemed to have calmed herself down. "Open the cage," she demanded. Hanging from some sort of equipment hook on the near the waist of her armour, I caught sight of a leather strap, at the end of which was a familiar looking catch mechanism. Wait, what? "I shall transfer the prisoner myself."

"Commander?" the captain asked, clearly mirroring my surprise. "Shouldn't we just move her entire cage over?"

That elicited a derisive snort from Tempest. "Can I trust your crew not to throw my prisoner overboard?" she asked. "No, I think I am enough to handle a foal. Much more than just this leash hangs on her behaviour."

Why is she continuing to cover for my trick? I wondered as one of the nearest armoured beasts unlocked the cage and opened the door. She could've just attributed the miracle recovery to alicorn healing, or told the captain he was a fucking moron. Stepping out of the cage, I carefully approached, my head lowered and my horn pointed toward the floor.

"Grubber, the leash," she instructed one of the hedgehog creatures—one lot smaller than the rest. The short fellow, seemingly dressed in a tabard of some sort rather than armour, ran over to her side and grabbed the lead from the hook on her armour. "Put it on the prisoner, and let's get moving."

When he ran over to me, he seemed to have some trouble. For one, I wasn't wearing any sort of collar, so there was no D-ring for the snap hook to catch on. Although he was frustrated, seemingly unable to figure out a solution, I could feel Tempest's ire rising faster. All the other creatures around us were snickering. Poor fucker probably couldn't catch a break.

"Would you like some help?" I offered with no hint of condescension in my voice. I sat back on my haunches, and held out my hooves. He actually gave me the lead, and although the nearest guards tensed, everyone but the commander was now in full riotous laughter."Right, so when you have a lead but nothing to clip it on you, here's what you do."

Carefully, I wrapped the lead around his neck and, where I was sure he could see opened the snap hook until the lead was inside it. "Gotta be careful when pulling though, or else you'll choke out what ever you're trying to lead," I explained, tightening it just enough that it was snug. When it looked like he got it, I unclipped it and passed it back to him. At that, Tempest buried her face in her hoof. "Now, you try."

This time, he successfully got the lead around my neck. "Hey, thanks!" he exclaimed with a bit of a lisp. A look of confusion crossed his face, and then he leaned in close to take a sniff. "You smell like cake."

I blinked as Grubber walked away... without the lead. Tempest stared at the little fool, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Without prompting, I grabbed the other end of the lead in my mouth like a well-trained dog. That got an eye-roll from the black-clad unicorn as she turned and started marching onto the other airship. I at least had the dignity to pretend I wasn't enjoying myself. "I'm surrounded by morons," I heard her mutter as I followed them across the gangplank onto the second airship. "I swear, the only competent one is the prisoner, and she's behaving like she wants to be here."

It occurred to me that I hadn't checked in with Emerald yet, nor had I heard her own voice over the link. Is she not in bed yet? I wondered as Tempest led me over to a hatch similar to the one I'd been led down when I landed on the first airship's deck a few hours ago. Are they getting ready to flee Manehattan? I hope I can get a message to them before we arrive in Canterlot.

As we descended into the ship's hold, I heard Tempest chuckling to herself. "Princess," she called out. "Have I got a surprise for you!"

In the centre of the hold was a cage exactly like the one I'd only just been freed from. Sitting with her back to the stairs, was the familiar form of Twilight Sparkle. Her head was lowered, but even at this angle, I could see that she wasn't asleep, but her eyes were shut. It did nothing to hide the tear-stains. Her ears flicked back, but she didn't otherwise move. "You've already won," she mumbled in a lifeless tone. "What do you get out of tormenting me?"

That just got a chuckle and a mocking, "Aww." Turning to me, she smirked. "She's still upset over her friends abandoning her."

I couldn't quite stop myself. "They what!?" I shouted, the dual-layered tone my voice took on when I was in my changeling form momentarily bleeding through as I dropped the lead. It even startled Grubber bad enough that he hid behind the commander. "What do you mean they abandoned her!?"

At the sound of my voice, Twilight's head snapped around so fast that she bumped her horn on the bars. "Anon?" she cried out. Just like that, she pressed herself up against the bars of her cage. Surprise roiled off of her as she saw me bearing extra appendages. "What happened to you?" As she got a better look at me, at the apparent damage on her body, I sensed it turn to rage and horror. "What did those monsters do to you?"

"Grubber, secure the prisoner," Tempest commanded, ignoring Twilight's remark. "I shall remain in my cabin. Fetch me when we reach Canterlot, so that I can present my prizes to the Storm King directly."

"But... we left her cage on the other ship."

Rolling my eyes at them both, I walked over to Twilight's cage. Much to everyone's confusion, I fed the other end of the leather strap through the bars on the cage, tying it off. "That won't be necessary," I replied, lying down beside the cage, my side pressed up against it. "You made yourself quite clear what will happen to Manehattan if I try anything, Commander Tempest."

The mare in question nodded, a slight smirk playing across her otherwise stoic features. At that, she retreated back up the stairs. The short hedgehog eyed me with suspicion a bit longer before sprinting up the stairs after her. Only when I heard the locks on the hold door clank shut did I let out a frustrated sigh. Well this is a right mess, I thought to myself. It would've been one thing if Auntie had turned herself in as part of some genius scheme, but those five abandoned her...

Much to my surprise, Twilight laid herself down on the other side of the bars and extended a wing out to embrace me. "I have so many questions," she whispered. "'How are you an alicorn', 'who did this to you', and 'how did they capture you' are the first ones that come to mind. More importantly, though... are you okay, Anon?"

I can feel her affection toward me... I shrugged, leaning against the bars, willing myself not try to feed. "Physically, Ahm fit as a fiddle," I said, wincing as I caught a bit of Applejack's country twang slipping into my voice. That got a really confused reaction out of Twilight, but I continued before she could comment. "Mentally... eh, it's been a rough few days. I'm worried for Starlight, Trixie, and Emerald... I hope Blue is keeping to his word and shipping them up to Starlight's old town." Quieter, I muttered, "What the fuck did you do, Harmony..."

Her confusion only grew more and more palpable. Eventually, she sighed. "That just brings forth more and more questions, Anon."

"It's a long story," I agreed, crawling out from beneath her wing to stand away from the cage. "As for me being an alicorn..." I gave her a hesitant look, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "Promise me that you won't freak out."

"After what I've been through, I don't have the energy to freak out," she murmured before nodding. "I promise."

For a few moments—just long enough for her to get a good look, really—I dropped my disguise. My glossy wings buzzed with my anxiety as she took in my appearance—from the tiny nub of my horn to the iridescent green discolouration of the chitin of my flanks that made up my cutie mark. Then her eyes met mine and I felt her panic and fear spike. As I resumed my injured alicorn disguise, I held up my hooves. "You're freaking out!" I cried, silently pleading that she wouldn't scream. "You swore you wouldn't freak out!"

~ 42 ~

After giving her the very abridged version of my last few days, and Twilight regaled me with the downfall of friendship, we fell into an uncomfortable silence. I had no doubt in my mind that she could tell there was a lot I had left out in the part of the story where I saved Starlight and Trixie, birthed a new dark goddess, and became a changeling. After all I barely even mentioned the mobsters except in passing, and wouldn't elaborate when asked. All I could do was tell her it could wait until Equestria wasn't imperilled. She also wasn't all too pleased when I called Harmony a bitch who was playing not just with my life, but also Emerald's.

I imagine for Twilight, she welcomed the temporary distraction of the logistics of taking in a second foal. I had, in no uncertain terms, told her I wouldn't abandon her. For me, I began scheming. After all, Tempest hadn't specified that I couldn't think, and she knew nothing about my long-distance spiritual connection to somepony all the way across Equestria. Things are kicking into the endgame, and it might boil down to Blueblood.

"Warn me if you hear them coming so I have enough time to reapply my disguise," I requested of her as I closed my eyes once more and relaxed myself. Once my transformation reverted, and I grew used to the feeling of the metal grate that passed for flooring, I started pulling myself inward. "I've gotta try and get a warning out."

It was disorienting as I stepped through the dream-door into the room. Maybe it was the distance between me and Emerald, but everything seemed kinda stretched out for a moment. I looked around, but there was no sign of the young filly, and the note I'd left on the bed remained unopened. She's not yet gone to bed? Admittedly, my sense of time has gone to fuck, but...

"Emerald, are you with Starlight?" I called out. I was half-tempted to just conjure up a TV with the intent that it would show me what she saw and heard, but... Even if it could work like that, that definitely didn't mean I should do it.

'We're at the guard base, but Ms. Trixie and Starlight are with Mr. Prince in another room,' was her response. 'Oops, I said that out loud again, and now Ms. Loo Tenant is looking at me funny. What did you do, anyway? Everypony seems super mad.'

She's at the base? Excellent! "Lieutenant? You mean Lieutenant Summer Haze?" I asked. When I got an affirmative hum, I flopped down on my pillow pile. "Can you give her a message, for me?"

There was a moment's pause, but to my surprise, I actually heard her speaking to the lieutenant. It was only Emerald's side, but it was almost like she put a phone down and walked away. 'Um, Ms. Haze? Anon is in the dream room, and she wanted me to pass on a message.'

"Tell her, 'The final crown is taken. Elements status unknown, presumed deserters. All pieces converge at Canterlot in a few hours.'"

'Anon says "The final crown is taken. Elements status unknown, presume deserters. All pieces converge at Canterlot in a few hours," whatever that means,' she recited. There was a full moment of silence and then in I heard her panicked voice. 'What did I just tell them? Ms. Haze got scared and ran into the room with those three. Now everypony is shouting, a siren is going off, and they're all running around!'

I sighed to myself at the slight accusatory tone I picked up. "I had to do something that the others wouldn't like, even though it was for the protection of everypony in Manehattan," I explained. "The information I had you pass on might be crucial to the fate of Equestria. I've left the note I left earlier on your pillow to explain everything more clearly but—"

'Anon, wake up; somepony's coming!' echoed Twilight's voice from the outside.

"Crap, I gotta go. Try to take a nap when you can," I said, starting to will myself upward and outward. "The note will explain everything. Just do what they say and you should stay safe."

My eyes snapped open just in time to catch sight of the hatch up above opening. Just as I readied myself to reapply my 'make-up', I noticed that it was only Tempest. The hatch slammed shut behind her, leaving just the three of us alone, so I decided to remain undisguised. That was kinda surprising, because I could still hear and feel the thrum of the engines that propelled the airship. I had no real gauge for how far we were from Canterlot, but I knew that we weren't there yet.

Tempest glared at me, but I did a good job of pretending I just woke up. She turned her gaze from me to Twilight. "Something your apprentice said to me weighs on my mind, Princess," she said with a wary air about her. "Was this foal really a mere earth pony the last time you saw her?"

"Yes," Twilight admitted, "And to answer what I expect is your next question, yes, her runic magic is real."

"I know that much," she growled. "Does it really work without her being in the equation? Is it the sort of thing any dedicated pony could learn?"

"Ooh! Ooh! I can answer that first one," I chimed in... accidentally speaking in Pinkie's voice instead of my own. That got a wince from Twilight, and then a glare from them both. After that, I made an effort to use my normal voice. "I inscribed some clay plates with a mass water conjuration spell, and a spell to conjure a large block of ice and had Starlight—that's my big sister—give them to the refugee coordinator after showing her how to use them!"

A moment of whimsy distracted me as Twilight started to hesitantly discuss runic magic. I don't think Twilight really understood what Tempest served to gain by learning about this. She couldn't feel the bit of doubt that had wormed its way into Tempest's mind. It's a hope to use magic again, in case the Storm King decides he doesn't need her. Maybe I could give her a little present? It couldn't be something that could be used as a weapon, but something useful... as a sign of good faith.

I don't have any clay, so the only option is kinda gross. I knew about hive resin—the construction material that was one part reconstituted biomass and one part secretion of the throat—both from what I read in Biologia, and from the mess in my head. The instinct was even there to do so. Still... what to make?

Hmm, Let's take the light conjuration spell from Your Horn and You, and tweak it. I started picturing the spell array in my mind. Where it normally would create a ball, however, I instead configured it to emit a beam of about five thousand lumens. Bright enough to be useful, but not blinding. Once I had the array constructed, I mirrored it and then transformed a portion of my foreleg so that it bore the spell. This time, however, it was raised like braille, rather than engraved in the shell.

Completely ignoring their conversation, I used muscles in my throat that I never had before to force some of the contents of my stomach into my throat... Instantly, I felt the a gland in my throat secrete a liquid, transmuting the material into a globular mess that I spat out onto my forelimb. Even as they both looked at me in confusion and disgust, I was already smoothing the black resin around on my shell, ensuring that every single bit of the spell was covered. I let it start to harden, and then I peeled it off and flattened it out, careful not to deform the inscription.

"That's disgusting, Anon!" Twilight chided. "What are you even doing?"

Instead, I tested the resin a couple of times to make sure it had hardened. Once I was sure it wasn't about to bend and ruin everything, I placed a hoof over the conjuration rune and channelled some magic. A beam shot out, illuminating Twilight in a soft blue glow, casting a long shadow on the wall far behind her cage. I then flicked my gaze up to the ceiling, and the light tracked after.

"Radical," I exclaimed, thankfully not speaking in Rainbow Dash's voice. Slowly, I broke the connection and then reached over and presented it to Tempest. "A gift, from one lost soul to another. May you always have a guiding light, even in your darkest moments."

She took it into her hooves, carefully caressing the inscription. Hell, she even gave it a quick test, casting a similar blue beam across my blackened features. "I don't understand you, child," she murmured, slipping it into the space between her barrel and breastplate. It felt like I'd really shaken her now. "You're mature enough to choose to fight for others and surrender for their benefit... You clearly know that I am your enemy, and yet you helped my assistant and you act like we're friends."

That got a sigh from Twilight. That mocking emphasis on the word friends had clearly needled a sore spot. "Anon, why are you helping her?" The look on her face really, really hurt. I found myself staring down at the grate in the floor, wilting under her gaze. "Don't you know what she's done?"

That only elicited laughter from Tempest, who turned her back to us both. As the dark unicorn began her ascent, "Of course she does... maybe even better than you," she teased. Pausing, as if coming to a realisation, she looked down at me with a smirk. "The apprentice is only following after her master. Even though she's a survivor—even though she'll do whatever it takes—like me, she shares that infectious naïveté of yours. She thinks she can manipulate me... redeem me... isn't that right?"

Then... what Twilight said next hit me like a knife in the back. "Not everypony is redeemable, Anon..." she whispered. "Sometimes, even if they wanted to change... some ponies just can't be redeemed."

If... if she knew what I did, would she say that about me? It felt like my heart was breaking in two. She was the closest thing I had to a mother figure in this world, and without even knowing that she'd even done so, she'd hurt me almost as badly as hunger's scheme had. I should've taken more time—any time at all to come to grips with everything I did under Hunger's influence... Casually calling myself a mass murderer isn't healthy.

"We'll arrive in Canterlot shortly," Tempest warned when she reached the top of the stairs. "Remember to reapply your disguise. I won't warn you a second time."

Unable to face her, I turned my back to Twilight. I reapplied my injured alicorn disguise, and just... shut down. I couldn't let myself think. Despite being right there with her, I felt so very alone. I couldn't even withdraw into the dream room and just cope.

What hurt worse was that Twilight wouldn't leave me be. She could clearly tell that something caused me to clam up. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I had killed seventeen people—Raging Storm didn't count as a person as far as I was concerned—while under Hunger's influence... Even if the majority of them were pedophiles who'd been involved in the systematic abuse of Emerald, I didn't want to see that look of disappointment in her eyes. I can't be the one to tell her... That of course, only made her more despondent, which only made me feel worse.

~ 42 ~

When we finally docked in Canterlot and were brought up on deck, I just wanted to curl up and die. Once a lively and vibrant city, Canterlot was now wreathed in smog and shadow. The air around us was thick with fear and despair. If I thought the atmosphere back at CHS had been bad, the air here felt like absolute poison now that I was a creature that fed on the energy produced by positive emotions.

It was bad enough that coupled with my own negative emotions, I spent most of the trip from the airship in a stupor. I was cognizant of my surroundings enough to watch them lift Twilight's cage onto a cart. The soldiers seemed to consider having me pull the cart, but Tempest instead had Grubber tie my lead to the equipment hook at her armour's waist instead. So it was, two earth pony slaves were brought up the ramp and hooked up to the cart.

I saw some familiar faces as we were led through the streets. Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo were all stuffed into one cage of the same type Twilight was in. They stared, and may have even tried calling out to me, but I was too dazed by the weight of everything to react. What would they think if they knew what I'd become? There was also that singer who had been flown in to hold a concert at Twilight's festival. On another stretch of road, I spotted that cream-coloured chocolatier from Ponyville and her minty-green marefriend in separate cages, but close.

Is this it? Is it all really gonna end here? Those were my foremost thoughts as I obediently followed behind Tempest Shadow as she led us up toward the castle. It would be no problem at all to reconstruct the Berserker spell, or the Trench Gun spell, but if they stopped me before I could do anything, Tempest would probably punish all these ponies for my actions.

At one point, my legs buckled. Nausea was threatening to waste what little cake I'd left in my stomach. The atmosphere was getting to me so badly that I'd begun to develop a migraine. After failing to get up once, I actually did end up vomiting once more. The second time I attempted to get up, I succeeded, but I was unsteady on my hooves. The worst part was that my vision had started to double.

"What is the matter with her?" Tempest demanded of Twilight as I started to stagger after the enemy commander. "She's moving like a drunkard, and her disguise is starting to look... off."

In the cage behind me, I heard Twilight mutter something to herself. "She's a changeling," Twilight reluctantly answered. I felt the sudden fear of the two ponies dragging the cart like a gut punch. "They feed on positive emotions, but love especially. Hate, fear, and despair as concentrated as the atmosphere your army has created is probably like poison to her—just like alcohol." When I collapsed against Grubber, who squealed in alarm, Twilight sighed. "If we don't get her indoors, where she isn't as exposed, she'll probably die."

Tempest seemed to consider this for a moment. She was frustrated, excited, and maybe a little hopeful, but that bubble of doubt was still there. Turning to her assistant, she removed the end of the lead from the hook at her waist. "Throw her on the cart with the other prisoner." Turning to the pony slaves attached to the cart, she bellowed, "Double-time it to the castle. I will not have a foal's blood on my hooves."

Grubber must've been stronger than he looked—or was I just that light because I was a changeling? Either way, he didn't have much issue picking me up like a large dog and chucking me onto the cart. After that, the procession sped up quite quickly. Before too long, we were more than halfway there.

"I wanna go home," I groaned as Twilight rubbed my back through the bars. It was hard to think properly, and I just wanted to curl up on the cart and die; my own negative thoughts, formerly pushed down deep until they could be safely addressed, were threatening to rise up to the surface. I think I was even beginning to leak a dark liquid from my eyes, nose, ears and mouth, but I wasn't one hundred percent certain about that.

Everyone else seemed super weirded out though... and I mean, I get it. All they saw was a little girl oozing black liquid like a fountain pen with a cracked reservoir—for the second time in 24 hours, no less—and she probably looked like she was dying of some unholy pathogen. Maybe I even was dying... I'd have to consult Hunger's brain spaghetti when I didn't feel like death. The only thing I could really focus on was one impossible little hope...

If I ever get my hooves on Hunger, I'm gonna find out if I can kill a concept.