After the meeting with Princesses Celestia and Luna, dinner tonight wasn't what I expected. Honestly, I somewhat expected us to once again dine with the royals, in addition to the visiting changeling and hippogriff leadership. Instead, Twilight took us out to a restaurant called the Tasty Treat. Apparently Rarity and Pinkie had solved some sort of friendship problem there, and the restaurant skyrocketed in popularity as a result.

In my old human life, I'd never had an opportunity to try Indian food beyond Masala Chai, which ponies called Manipuri Blend. In my defence, I never had much tolerance for spice. Taco and kebab meat were probably the spiciest I'd eaten. Even coming here, nothing too spicy had been served to me. I don't think anyone was expecting me to take to it.

I was getting ahead of myself, though. It was seven mares, four foals, a young dragon, and one changeling queen nymph in our dinner party. I think Aunt Twilight might even have made a reservation for all I knew. Back on Earth, I think that was even the norm for large dinner parties. After all, if a large group occupied too much space, there'd be less for other customers.

Dunno how they got Rainbow out of her room. To tell the truth, I was kinda surprised that they even invited her given her prior attitude. Hell, she probably was scarred for life after my stunt in the baths, and the others were only barely paying her any mind. I'd never seen the proud mare looking so cowed, and I wasn't without some empathy... figuratively or literally.

It wasn't until we were all seated in the restaurant that it occurred to me that it was basically a charade. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle had been held in cages by the Storm King's forces for several days, and they needed to be shown that things were alright now... that their lives would go back to normal. If they saw that Rainbow was being excluded, they might ask why. If they found out that Rainbow had been convinced I was dangerous, they might become scared of me. Alternatively, Scootaloo's affection for the mare might be shaken.

I also wasn't sure how well they'd take finding out just how bad my mental state had been while I was love-starved. I didn't exactly want any of them to know that I'd basically been suicidal. Emerald in particular, however, I didn't want to hear that. I still felt incredibly guilty about being so selfish after promising to be her big sister, be there for her, and protect her. Right mind or not, it was a betrayal.

When the hostess, an orange unicorn by the name of Saffron Masala, came to take our orders, I realised that I hadn't really looked at anything in the menu. Although things were certainly described in the menu, I had no real gauge for how spicy anything was. As a result, I ended up ordering two dishes at random—kolhapuri misal, a spicy lentil dish, and malai kofta, a sort of fried potato dumpling that sounded akin to meatballs. Saffron seemed more surprised by the fact that I was ordering two dishes than what I ordered, so I either ordered some mild stuff, or she thought I knew what I was getting into.

The others actually seemed kinda surprised by the fact that I was ordering two dishes too. The thing was... even though I'd gorged on Cadance's love earlier, I didn't feel physically full—not in the way I used to when eating too much as a human or pony. I felt like I could eat my own weight in food. That's the changeling need for biomass for transformation and hive resin, though.

"So, Anon, darling," Rarity asked, trying to break some of the tension in the air while our food was being made. "Now that you have a new body, you could look like anypony, or anycreature really." That got a raised eyebrow from both of my guardians. "Yet you continue to use your old appearance. I was curious as to why."

All the eyes in the group turned to me expectantly. Even Rainbow managed to look at me. To be fair, it was a reasonable question. I mean, I don't even really need glasses anymore; I just use them because I paid good money for them. "Because it's what most ponies know me as... is what I'd like to say," I admitted, momentarily dismissing just the transformation over my foreleg as I held it out over the table. "If it weren't for the fact that many ponies are still afraid of changelings, especially the original variety, I'd unabashedly let my carapace shine in the daylight at all times. Aside from my mane mirroring Emerald's coat, I can't help but see Chrysalis in my reflection, so I can't expect normal ponies not to also see it." I gave a shrug before adding, "I can be me whether I'm black or green, so I might as well make everyone else comfortable."

Auntie Twilight flinched at the mention of Chrysalis. Nobody else at the table really noticed—except maybe Starlight. The only reason I even realised anything was up was because the mere mention of the former queen tinged her emotional aura with anxiety. She wouldn't meet my eyes. Hell, she barely even seemed to notice Starlight's raised eyebrow. What's that all about?

The others seemed to accept my answer well enough. Fluttershy in particular seemed to appreciate it. "That's a very mature way to look at it," she observed, glancing at the trio of fillies clustered between Applejack and Rarity, and then Emerald. "It's a good example to be setting, too."

Unsurprisingly, the Crusaders looked a bit indignant at that. They all voiced various complaints about being older than me, and how they should be setting the examples. Of course, that gets Applejack and Rarity razzing them about all the harebrained schemes the group resorted to while questing for their cutie marks. It was nice to just be around all the casual banter. It makes it easier to ignore the fact that I was even further from the norm.

At the mention of cutie marks, I glanced down at my flank before looking to Emerald. Something I'd noticed while she and the others were playing was that there was no trace of my cutie mark like when we still shared a body and she'd taken control. It made me wonder what Fate had in store for her now that I was my own entity. Would she eventually find her own special talent? Or would Fate be a spiteful bitch now that I'd seized the reigns of my own destiny?

"Say, Em?" I asked as our food started getting ferried to our table. The amount of spice I could smell on my two plates made my eyes itch a bit, but the smell made my mouth water. "Is there anything you're looking forward to once we can get settled and return to Ponyville?" When she gave me a sort of confused look, I clarified. "You've got a new chance at having a normal foalhood. You can go to school, learn more about earth pony heritage... Oh, you like running, right?"

For a moment, Emerald looked like a deer in headlights, and I was worried that I'd said the wrong thing. The comment itself had come from the memory I'd experienced in the mirror world—the one where Emerald and her Mom were discussing other fillies in an athletics program being jealous of her despite her lack of a talent. My mouth sorta just acted before I could think, even though I knew being reminded of Emerald Breeze.

Thankfully, that look transitioned into one of excitement. "Yeah! I still wanna see if I can get my cutie mark from running!" That got the attention of the Crusaders, and soon enough she was grinning at them. "I was fastest in the track club Mommy put me in, and older fillies with their marks got super mad 'cause I had better time!"

"Maybe the girls could help you find some running-adjacent things that might land you your mark," I heard Starlight comment. "Maybe delivering things for ponies?"

That of course set off a whole discussion while we ate, where ponies shared all sorts of courier work they knew about. The Crusaders pointed out that the foal free press needed a new delivery pony. Similarly, Rarity knew some ponies around town who wouldn't mind paying somepony to let ponies know when their orders were ready for pick-up. Or how she could run notes for ponies.

Then of course, Pinkie mentioned how her name might be related to her talent, and she could be super speedy at finding gems. Suddenly she was talking about how her big sister Maud could talk to her, or maybe even take her prospecting. That in turn got Applejack mentioning the Sweet Emerald apple cultivar, suggesting that 'Maybe Emerald's real Pa was an Apple.'

The whole time, I could see that Rainbow looked like she wanted to say something. Going fast was her domain, after all, and yet, she was still pretty cowed by what had happened earlier today. It left me feeling incredibly guilty for what I'd done during my little freak-out, and I wanted to make up for it. How though?

"Hey, Rainbow," I called out in a friendly tone as I inhaled my malai kofta. The mare froze, and all the adults tensed, flooding the room with anxiety and caution. "Emerald's been asleep for a long time, so her body might not be entirely ready to go fast. Think you could put her through her paces, find out where she's at, and then turn her into a mean, green running machine?" Her eyes widened, and even Scootaloo was looking at her in interest. With a smirk, I added, "Hell, I bet lots of Ponyville foals would love to be part of a foal fitness club run by a Wonderbolt."

Emerald all but leapt out of her seat to zoom over to the pegasus mare with an excited squeak, her meal now entirely forgotten. Looking up at her with starry eyes, she exclaimed, "You're a Wonderbolt!? That's so cool!" She glanced back at me and called out, "How come you know so many cool ponies? Four princesses, a really cool prince, a dragon, Big Sis Starlight, the weird cat lady that gave you a body, and now a Wonderbolt? What else are you hiding!? An alien?"

Even as Rarity numbly mouthed the words 'cool prince', Starlight, Twilight, Applejack, and Pinkie all started laughing. Have I ever told Em about literally going to another dimension and meeting human alien counterparts to everyone? Maybe some day we could introduce her to Sunset Shimmer—a pony who lived on an alien world. That might be a little hard for her, but maybe it could give her some closure like I had given that world's Emerald Breeze.

Eventually somepony wrangled her back to her seat so that she could finish off her dinner, and I finally took the time to actually enjoy the food. Honestly, at first I was a bit nervous about this whole idea. After all, I'd heard that capsaicin was poisonous to bugs, and what was I if not a bug horse now? Twilight had assured me that it was completely fine for changelings, though. She also admitted to wanting to see if I had any tolerance to spicier foods. Apparently since it was close to winter, it was about the time of year that Spike started whipping out the recipes with some heat.

Honestly, the food didn't seem all that spicy at all. No mouth burning sensation or requirement for milk to cool me down. If anything, it almost seemed like the food was literally seasoned with emotions. It left a warmth in my belly not unlike when I fed on love, but also burned going down in a way that reminded me of the irritation I'd felt ponies exuding when they were frustrated. There was also the tanginess of excitement that made everything just pop.

I couldn't tell if that was an entirely changeling reaction or a pony one... Hell, it might very well be that because Hunger had a direct part in creating my new body, I could feasibly eat anything organic, and that my new body was designed especially to enjoy new flavours. Regardless, I was looking forward to seeing what Spike had in store for us... as well as finding out if he could make something that was too spicy for me, and what kind of emotional flavour comparison it would provide.

~ 49 ~

While everyone else was digging into their desserts, I commented aloud that I needed to get some air. On my way out, I thumped Rainbow Dash with my tail as I went past. I even whispered, "Can we talk?" shortly after. Honestly, I didn't know what I was thinking, but it just... seemed right, y'know? I needed to clear the air with her—to apologise.

Once I was outside, I shed my transformation, and quickly flew myself up onto the roof, before transforming back into a pony. This time, it was a pegasus variant of my appearance, so that nopony would think twice if they saw me up on the roof, staring at the skies. That was something I noticed early on; nobody really gave a shit if pegasi were on someone's roof, as long as they were quiet and not being disruptive.

As I lay on my back, I stared up at the evening sky, marvelling at how clear it all was. It's gonna be a great night for fireworks, I thought to myself, looking at the moon as it slowly rose in the sky. We were supposed to go join the festival after we all ate, so I figured this might be my last chance at peace before being thrown into the throngs of ponies.

It took a couple of minutes before I heard the front door to the Tasty Treat open up. "Up here, Rainbow," I called out. Given how exposed being on my back left me, I probably should've had a bit more modesty. We were both mares, and while I think I'd started to realise I might have a thing for older women—at least if you could trust my reaction to that lewd painting of Princess Celestia, or the way my eyes had lingered on Vice Principal Luna's ass a bit too long that one time—I didn't have anything she hadn't seen before. If she'd been a stallion, it'd definitely be a different matter, but I'm pretty sure she wasn't interested in foals anyway.

When she alighted on the rooftop a few body-lengths away from me, I looked over at her. Her entire demeanour reminded me of Fluttershy in a way; she looked ready to bolt. "Relax, Rainbow; you're not gonna have any trouble with me," I commented, patting the space on the roof directly beside me. "If anything, I feel like I should be the one in trouble with you."

She didn't move, instead staring at the wings I now possessed. Sighing, I turned my gaze back up to the sky. "Rainbow, what happened this morning... You didn't deserve what I did," I apologised, tears welling up in my eyes as I looked to the sky. "Don't get me wrong, you deserved a good tongue lashing, but I shouldn't have reacted like I did. It was sick, cruel, and wholly intended to cause trauma. I just... I needed you to see the truth... of the matter."

To my surprise, she actually took a step forward. "The truth?" she asked quietly. "What sort of truth could come from trying to get me to kill you?"

Despite tears beginning to roll down my cheeks, I laughed. "You were right and wrong about me being dangerous, y'know?" I admitted. Without even looking at her, I could feel the surprise. "Yeah, AJ felt the same way when I talked to her and Rares earlier. I was... I am dangerous. At that time, though, the only one I was an absolute threat to was myself."

She seemed to be trying to process what I said, but she drew close enough to sit beside me. "At that moment when you laid it all bare, I was in rapid decline to the state that Chrysalis had been in when she took me," I explained, lifting my hoof into the air to put it in front of the moon. "I was growing so paranoid and scared, and I was still reeling mentally from everything I'd gone through in the last few weeks. You know that I almost died in the other world, right? Even before I became a changeling, my mind was fraying as far back as then. My thoughts became consumed with questions like 'How can I ensure that I don't get hurt like that again?' and 'How can I protect those I care about... and protect their innocence?'"

With a rueful shake of my head, I pulled my hoof against my chest and rolled onto my side, facing my back to her. "Then the war happened, I made myself into a killer protecting strangers, and then got stuck in Manehattan. Suddenly, it wasn't just paranoia that I was dealing with... I had actual mobsters out to get me because I was Emerald." With a bit of a sniffle, I peered over my shoulder at her. "I reacted the way I did because I was scared that you were right... That I was just a rabid dog waiting to snap."

For what felt like several minutes, she just stood there, quietly. "Gonna be honest, kid," she finally declared, gently poking me in the back. "What you did back there scared the living Tartarus out of me... but you weren't wrong either." When I turned my head to look at her, I found that she actually looked ashamed. "I was taking my loyalty beyond stupidity, and there was nothing honourable about it..."

There was fear and a bit of self-loathing filling the air around her, and her body language was that of a defeated mare. Worse, she seemed more than a little panicked. "When you made me put that blade to your neck..." She let out a whimper and broke eye contact. "When I looked in your eyes, you looked so dead inside, but what scared me most was that I could see a pleading look behind that deadness... In that moment, you wanted me to kill you."

It was so strange hearing that proud mare's voice crack, and the shiver that wracked her body reminded me of the way I felt when I'd seen my reflection after crippling Lightning Dust and traumatising Gilda—the shock of what I'd done and what I'd put those humans through, as well as the realisation that they really fucked me up. Except instead she was reliving the realisation that she'd fucked up on a celestial scale.

"I got so wrapped up in you being a changeling, looking just like Chrysalis without the holes," she practically sobbed. "Seeing what you did to those Storm Guards, I couldn't see you for what you were... Scared, scarred, and screwed over... The one who needed protection and loyalty most then and there was you... and I failed you." Her emotional spectrum was now entirely made up of grief and self-loathing. "I couldn't even fathom what was going on in your head, and that scared me, and made me scared for everypony, but that's no excuse..."

I'm not entirely certain which of us was more shocked by my next action, but in a single heartbeat, I found myself hanging from Rainbow's neck, hugging her. "I forgive you," I whispered, not letting go. "It'll be hard but we'll get through this... You, me, and even Emerald..." With a tired chuckle, I glanced down at the busy street we'd walked down earlier. "I wasn't kidding when I suggested you help Emerald train. She really seemed to enjoy the hard work she put into running, and she needs more positive figures in her life... Despite your fuck-ups, I trust you with her."

Her surprise was quickly replaced by hope... Hope that her friendships—not just with me, but her friends—could be mended. There was also an appreciative warmth roiling off of her; no doubt she was thankful that I was invoking kindness and forgiving her. Slowly, Rainbow wrapped one of her forelegs around my back, supporting me so that I wasn't just hanging like a necktie. "I bet you also need somepony to teach you to fly when you decide you wanna be an awesome pegasus, don'tcha."

I won't deny that I was feeding a little bit off of her. Not nearly as hard as I'd gone in on Cadance; just enough that it was making me feel a bit sleepy. "Yeah... You caught me," I admitted with a laugh. "Gliding and flying are two entirely different kettles of fish."

~ 49 ~

I don't even remember falling asleep. One minute, I'm on a roof, listening to Rainbow Dash talking about the basics of pegasus flight. The next, I'm curled up on somepony's back. At first I thought it might be Auntie Twilight, but the lack of a pair of wings told me it was probably Starlight, and we were on a balcony that overlooked a plaza. Nearby, I saw Emerald and her friends standing atop some crates, their hooves propped up on the railing. Keeping a close eye on all of them were Twilight's other friends.

It took some time for me to become more aware of my surroundings. The only thing that even clued me in to the stage in the centre of the plaza was the sudden shriek of one, then two, then seven fireworks as they screamed into the air. As each of them went off, bathing the crowd of ponies in a literal rainbow of colours. Then, there was silence as the curtains parted to reveal a pony that I might've seen in a cage a few days ago.

"I know you, you're a special one," she sang. "Some see crazy where I see love. You fall so low but soar so high, big dreamers shoot for open sky."

It was certainly a pretty song, and all the other ponies on our balcony seemed really enraptured by it. "This is nice," I finally said, adjusting myself so I could use Starlight's head to prop up my own. "Almost makes me forget all the bad things that have happened lately. Almost like there was never even an invasion..."

That got a soft hum from Starlight. "You had us worried, you know," she commented in an almost accusatory voice. "Fluttershy and Twilight both seemed worried the two of you were going to kill one another, and you both were gone an awful long time. Then Rainbow comes in with you cradled in her leg, fast asleep like all's right in the world."

It felt like she would have looked me in the eye if she could have. "Yeah, the girls filled me in about that..." I couldn't quite stop myself from wincing, and I knew damn well she could feel that. "Although I'm glad you're feeling better now that you've fed, I'm still hurt by what happened." There was a long pause where we just sorta let Songbird Serenade's Rainbow fill the silence. "I'm kinda surprised, but proud, that you went and made peace with Rainbow like you did." This time she did turn her head, even if she knew it wouldn't do her any good. "Nopony would blame you for holding a grudge, you know."

I just sighed and shed my transformation. With my buggy wings, I quickly transferred myself onto the railing, putting her between me and the other foals. "I'm just tired is all," I said with a sad smile. "All the anger, all the hate, and the fear and pain... I'm tired of it all." I glanced down at the audience by the stage, basking in the positivity radiating off of them. "It's time for me to heal, Starlight, and if I can't do something as simple as forgive a friend for being a fucking moron, how can I ever approach forgiving myself for almost following in <>'s and the <> Emerald's hoofsteps?"

Looking back to my big sister, I put on my earth pony disguise and shook my head. "I'm being given a third chance at life, and I'm not sure I'll get a fourth, so I need to make this one count." Over on another balcony nearby, I saw Luna, Celestia, Cadance, and Twilight, as well as Novo and her daughter, all enjoying the show. "I'm looking forward to finally getting to meet this therapist at the Crystal Empire, seeing little Flurry Heart again, and starting my community service."

That got a nod from Starlight, and she commented, "Twilight mentioned that was part of your penance for your actions, but didn't mention what they were going to be having you do."

"There's this orphanage in the Crystal Empire that opened up due to a number of foals who lost their parents because of King Sombra," I explained. "It recently got a new employee, but they still need help, and they reckon that working with other traumatised children might help temper some of my impulsive behaviour." What I chose not to mention was that there was someone there—unaffiliated with Thorax's group—who might be able to teach me more about transformation.

"It's two hundred hours I've gotta burn through, and I know they're not gonna work me twelve hours a day, so I'll probably be staying at the castle." I found myself glancing past Starlight to Emerald. "I know you and Auntie Twilight can't stay there the entire time I need to serve my sentence, and Emerald needs to start getting some semblance of normal in her life, so she'll probably be going back with you guys when it's time... Think you can keep her from missing me too much?"

That got a raised eyebrow. "And what about you? The longest you've gone without me or Twilight is a few days, and both times you've been by yourself..." She actually sounded really worried. "Who'll keep you out of trouble?"

I shrugged, and hopped down onto the balcony beside her. "Apparently I'm being assigned a bodyguard who'll be doubling as a parole officer, so it's not like I'll be alone." I glanced up at her before looking to the door. "Who knows, maybe Natural Talent and Refined Skill would be willing to transfer to Auntie's employ and they could keep me company too." Unable to help myself, I snickered. "Gotta say, their maid outfits are starting to grow on me."

Author's Note

Coming up next: non-canon 'alternate ending' to the story. After that we get the start of the final arc, introducing Anon's new bodyguard/probation officer, return of the Flurry, and a New Challenger Approaches.