The Great and Chaotic Date

"DISCORD!! What are you and your flying hogs doing here?!" Trixie asked, annoyed at their presence.

"Oh you know, just visiting my favorite saving the world buddy." Discord said with a smirk.

"Seriously? I'm your favorite, saving the world buddy?" Trixie asked, not believing a word he was saying.

"Of course!! I even brought you your favorite friends."

Discord grabbed one of the flying pigs and showed it to Trixie's face. This made Trixie glare at him in disgust and she swatted the pig away causing it to squeel and fly away.

"OH COME ON!! I brought you your favorite furry friends here and this is how you treat me?! Some saving the world friend you are!" Discord said.

"Okay Discord, I'm only going to say this once. STOP CALLING ME YOUR SAVING THE WORLD FRIEND!! And stop calling these farm animals my furry friends because they're not my friends and they don't have a piece of fur on a single part of their body!!" Trixie yelled.

This caught Discord off guard and caused him to be silent for a few minutes. He hadn't expected Trixie to snap at him like that.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, I thought it'd be easier to tell you this, but….." Discord said, not knowing what else to say.

"Easier to tell me this way? Why would you think flying swines would make it easier to talk to me? Also what are you trying to tell-"

"I need your help!!" Discord said, causing Trixie to jump up in surprise.

"You need my help? With what?" Trixie asked, confused at what Discord meant.

Discord sighed. He dissipated all the flying pigs that were around him and Trixie. He then cleaned all the dust off the stage. After he was done, he turned his direction to where Trixie was.

"Okay um…I don't know how to say this but…."

"I swear Discord this better not be one of your annoying jokes!" Trixie said.

"It's not, it's not just listen please! It has something to do with Fluttershy……."

"Fluttershy?" Trixie asked.

"Yeah, I asked Fluttershy out on a date to a restaurant tomorrow and she said yes…"

"Okay and…." Trixie said, trying to see where Discord was heading with this.

Discord closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"..And I don't know what to do exactly, so I was wondering if you could help me prepare for the date tomorrow." Discord said.

Trixie just raised an eyebrow.

"Uhh..okay. You just talk to her and if she feels like it, kiss her at the end." Trixie said.

"Well yeah, but I mean what do I do other than that? I mean isn't there other stuff you have to do before that?" Discord asked.

"I don't know, I never been on a date before. Why would you expect me to be an expert at love?" Trixie said.

"Geez I don't know. I thought since you were the great and powerful Trixie that you would have simple wisdom of love, but I guess not." Discord said.

Trixie opened her mouth, but she couldn't think of anything to respond back with. She hadn't expected Discord to say that. All she could do was just glare at him.

"Hey you can't tell me I'm wrong. I thought you would have some love advice."

Trixie facepalmed.

"WELL, if you're disappointed that I don't have any love advice for you, why didn't you ask Spike or Big Mac? Especially, Big Mac! He actually has a girl!" Trixie said.

"Well I would, but Spike is busy working at the school with Twilight and Big Mac is off on a cruise with Sugar Belle." Discord said.

"Then why not rudely teleport to where they are and ask them, like you normally do." Trixie said.

"Hmm, good question. I guess the best answer I can give you is that over the time of my friendship with them, I learned to have some self respect. Which I know, is weird even for me." Discord replied.

Trixie facepalmed again, this time grunting.

"What?! I can't help it, being with other ponies has changed me over the years!"

"And ironically enough, not in a good way." Trixie muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing! Look, how do you expect me to help you with your date problem tomorrow? It's not like I've ever been on a date before!" Trixie said.

Discord started thinking. The date was tomorrow afternoon, so he only had today to figure out how he was going to prepare for it. He then remembered what Trixie had said earlier and it gave him an idea. The problem was he didn't know how she was going to respond to this, but it was his best shot.

"Okay I have an idea."

"What is it?" Trixie asked.

"Okay, so I know this is going to sound weird at first…."

"Trust me Discord, from everything you've done in the past I can't think of anything you could say that would be even weirder." Trixie said.

"Okay cool, now that I know that anything I say won't be weird to you, here's my idea: Let's go on a date with each other tonight, at the same restaurant that I'm taking Fluttershy to tomorrow."

Trixie stared at him for a few seconds and then she burst out laughing.

"Okay Discord I'll admit, that one was really funny. You really outdone yourself this-"

As Trixie was talking, she noticed that Discord wasn't laughing. In fact, it almost looked like he was being serious…..

"Okay, I know that I said I don't want to hear any more jokes, but please tell me you weren't being serious…." Trixie said.

Discord nervously smiled and scratched his neck while turning his face a little. Trixie knew that look well, it was the look that confirmed her fears.

"No NO NO, EW!!! I'm the great and powerful Trixie dammit!! Not some DIRTY STREET HOOKER!!!"

"OH COME ON!! You said that nothing I say wouldn't be weirder than what I've done before!!" Discord said.

"That was before you said that!!!"

"OH GIVE ME A BREAK!! You should expect this kind of stuff from me. Plus, it's not going to be anything crazy, just think of it as a practice date." Discord insisted.

"A PRACTICE DATE?!!"

"Yeah, a practice date! It's kind of like how you rehearse for your magical performances before you actually do it in front of the audience. You can't just do anything without practicing." Discord explained.

"Oh my god, the fact that you're even making that analogy with my magical performances……"

"Oh come on, please!" Discord said, giving his best puppy dog eyes expression.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Find someone else to be your street hooker!!"

Trixie started to walk away. Discord then quickly teleported and got in front of her.

"Move out of my way!!" Trixie demanded.

"WAIT, what if I made a negotiation?" Discord asked.

"There's nothing that you can offer me that'll make me go out on a fake date with you!" Trixie said, trying to move past him.

"Okay, what about this? I overheard you telling Starlight that she doesn't have to come help you with your magic performance next week, so I was thinking……"

"I'll be fine on my own, thank you." Trixie interrupted.

"Oh please, everyone knows the only reason your magical performances haven't fallen apart is because Starlight is nice enough to use her break time to come over and carry your entire magical act. Without her your entire thing would be a mess." Discord said.

This caused Trixie to stop and look up at him.

"Wait, everyone knows about that?" Trixie asked.

"Mmhmm." Discord replied.

Trixie thought about it for a second and then immediately shook her head and continued to try and move past Discord.

"No, I still won't do it!!"

"Seriously? Are you really going to put your stage performance on the line over one fake date?!" Discord asked, still stopping her from moving past him.

"YESS!!"

Discord sighed. He moved out of the way causing Trixie to trip a little.

"Come on, I promise I won't ever bother or disturb you ever again. Just do this one thing for me, please Trixie."

Trixie froze, she never heard Discord say her name before. She looked up at his eyes and she saw the desperateness in them. She could've also sworn that she had seen a tear in one of them. She gave a huge sigh and turned towards Discord’s direction.

"Okay fine Discord, I'll do it….." Trixie said in defeat.

Discord's face morphed into a huge smile. The flying pigs appeared back as he hugged Trixie.

"..ON TWO CONDITIONS!!"

The flying pigs vanished as Discord stopped hugging Trixie and listened to what she had to say.

"One, you have to help me with the rest of my magic performances and two, you have to get me five bags of cinnamon nuts each week." Trixie said, firmly.

"Okay the second one I can definitely do, but helping you with the rest of your stage performances?! I was only planning on helping you with one of your performances, not all of-"

Discord was about to finish his sentence, but stopped, seeing Trixie glare at him.

"Okay, okay I'll help you with all of your performances. So is it a deal? You'll go out on this fake date with me and in return I will help you with all your stage performances while also giving you five bags of cinnamon nuts each week?"

"Yes, unfortunately." Trixie said.

"Great, also the restaurant we're going to is called Luxurious Lunches."

"Luxurious Lunches, really?" Trixie asked.

"Yep, also is 6:00 o'clock okay with you?"

"Sure…." Trixie said, unenthusiastically.

"Nice, see you then. Ta ta!"

Discord waved and teleported away, leaving Trixie by herself on the stage, again.

"Did he not realize he picked one of the most expensive restaurants in Ponyville? Heck, some of the restaurants in Manehattan aren't as overly priced as that place."

Suddenly as on cue, a note appeared on Trixie's nose. She rolled her eyes and opened the note. She then started reading what was on it.

Dear Trixie,

Don't worry about paying for tonight. Everything is on me. Although, if you're willing to bring a few bits or two, that'll be well appreciated :)

From your dearest saving the world buddy, Discord.

After Trixie was done reading the note that Discord left behind, she crumbled it up and tossed it away.

"Trixie Lulamoon, what have you gotten yourself into?" Trixie asked herself.

Trixie then walked away to her wagon and started preparing for the crazy night she would have later on that day.