Author's Note
Hi I'm sir br7 and This is my first FIC.
constructive criticism is very welcome and english is not my native language, so i'll be keeping an eye wide open for criticisms about grammar, i already lost chapter 1 three times just today but i promised myself that I would give anything to post at least one chapter, an editor would be very welcome. hope I can give everyone a good read.
Because of problems with my potato cell I lost the chapter several times, the second time it was very good but unfortunately I couldn't recover the quality.
Because of the difference between the way we use the comma and the first person pronouns from my native language and English I had little problems writing.Putting too many I's or putting none during the chapter and the comma hahaha, you don't even know half.
I also see this fic as a way to improve my writing in English.
thanks for your patience.
Chapter:1 regrets
Narrador
It was dark, numb, lifeless, that was Sam's existence for the last 20 years in a coma, going from big crazy dreams that created the most comforting to the most terrifying hallucinations, brief moments of awareness that even without being able to move a muscle he could hear. and perceiving its exterior, the news on the TV, the doctors' conversation and the most incessant thing that never stopped was the noise of hospital equipment. But the most common was the darkness, an endless void in which his consciousness was until whole months agonizing without refuge from the screaming silence, no one had ever dreamed as much as Sam. But tonight he was conscious, the only night he would probably want anything else, that was the night he died.
Pov Sam:
'I could hear the voices of concern from people passing around me, the hospital was in a panic, from what I could hear, a large hurricane of magnitude never seen in this region hit the city's power plant causing a blackout, and since this particular hurricane doesn't want to dissipate anytime soon the engineers can't get close enough to fix the station, leaving us with only the hospital's emergency generator for the last 10 days, and the generator power is running out which will kill all patients who are depending on devices and that includes me'.
I was starting to panic, I know I wasn't the best person I could be, and that a lot of good people suffered what they didn't deserve because of my impatience and selfishness. But I don't deserve this .I'm more than sorry enough and every time I have control of my conscience I want to wake up and fix my wrongs. Please if there's a God up there give me a chance at least let me say goodbye to my father. This miserable situation I find myself in right now ,is nobody's fault but myself maybe this is my punishment.
I could hear my father, my beloved father, the only family I have left, the only human being who even after everything that happened never abandoned me and never hesitated to help me in times of need, no wonder I am suffering now. Having someone who cares about you like this and loves you with all their heart is a birthright that many only dream of, and yet I threw it away, dugging my own grave.
Not even imminent death moved me as much as hearing my old man's weeping voice, I could hear the lights going out nonstop, my end is so close...then.... the noise of the hospital equipment stopped and I could hear a scream of despair as I felt myself suffocating, I felt trembling hands pressing my chest quickly in useless hope my breath was steady enough until the power came back, but it was too late i felt the endless nothingness hug me like a disgusting blanket, i don't know what happened but on my last shelf of life i could open my eyes and see my father crying desperately and hugging me. Before my inevitable end I made a promise that not even death will be able to stop me from fulfilling it. Father.......... I'll come back, I'll apologize, I'll make things right and most of all........you'll be proud that I'm your son, and so I left this world.
...
After a while I was back in nothingness, I had absolutely no idea what could come after death but I LITERALLY wanted anything more than that. "NO!!!!!". I screamed although no sound came out, I had no mouth, well...... I didn't have a body at all, as if I were an existence that blended in perfectly with the void around me.
I needed anything, heaven or hell or purgatory, anything that would give me the opportunity to do right thing and to meet other people so hopefully I could see my father again.
I was desolate wandering endlessly without a single notion of time, has it only been a minute or a decade? I couldn't care less, at least the dreams continue, and from time to time some were even able to generate comfort, but that wasn't enough I couldn't calm down, I was tired of not being able to do anything. Until now.
"Tell me human do you regret it?" a booming female voice echoed above, I was confused, but soon my surprise was replaced by indignation as regret is the only thing I felt in these two decades.
"Do you accept a chance to be able to cleanse the sins of your soul?" She spoke again but this time a bluish green glow began to form in the environment slowly taking shape.
The creature that came out of the light left me stunned, more out of surprise and nostalgia than the creature itself.
i recognized the chitin-bodied creature full of holes from the ponies cartoon i watched as a kid.
'was this just another dream again? I'm going to spend the rest of eternity trapped in uncontrolled hallucinations just like all these years?' I groaned in frustration. 'at least there are no longer those whistles from the hospital machines that made me crazy'.
I rested in nothingness, calmly waiting for the dream to begin, it's been a long time since the series ended, I think a round of nostalgia won't be bad.
in response to my action the changeling walked calmly towards me and just sat looking into my eyes. I watched him more carefully while I still had control of myself, his eyes instead of a pure turquoise blue, it was a bluish green that glowed like an ocean lit up in the night sky and that peculiar color covered his entire belly and elytra in addition to a Mysterious light of the same color glows in its right front hoof.
He also appeared to be larger both in size and armor in addition to a battle scarred body, I should have been scared but honestly I was somewhat fascinated by the changeling, and it seems the situation was reciprocal, he was studying me with careful and also seemed curious. Just as we were about to break the silence the voice spoke again, this time from behind me, and I could hear the sounds of a wing beating, there in all her glory was Princess Luna looking at us with expectation.
"I asked you a question human, what do you want deep down in your heart?" She asked. As I stood up so could see her and answer properly and I realized that the changeling was doing exactly all my actions at once, as if it were a four-legged reflex. Bizarre.
'Of all the things I thought I'd see when dead, I didn't think the moon princess would be one of them'. I thought silent, must admit, I honestly didn't know how to react.
"You are my dream you don't know what I want anymore?"
No one can blame me for the aimless answer I'm not at my best.
But despite my answer the alicorn just laughed "I assure you that what I am very real and I'm willing to help in any way possible if you can do some things for me" She replied bluntly.
Wanting the dream to start right away in the hope of distracting me from my misery I replied without hesitation "I want to do things right, I want to go back and help my father and I want him to be proud of my actions"
The princess first gave me a sympathetic smile before continuing "You care a lot about him, even if no human could ever manage to come back from the dead do you think its possible?"
I don't think too much about my death promise, but the wish is real" He's all I have, I mean...... that I had, don't know if it's possible but if have anything, anyway to be able to go back, even if for a day I would do it without thinking". answered in all honesty.
This seemed to cheer up the princess of the night. "That's what I wanted to hear my two-legged friend, I came here to propose to you and your desolate soul a new chance"
i wasn't taking any of this seriously but honestly had nothing to ask for in further conversation. "I wouldn't miss the chance of a deal like that for nothing princess, but he seems too good to me, what do you want ?".
"DO NOT doubt me human, but you're right, I really need you to do a few things for me before I send you back."
"And that would be?"
"I can't tell you all the details right now unfortunately, both because I don't have time and for your safety, but I only ask that you trust me, at the end of the agreement you will be able to meet your father again and he will certainly be proud of what you will do ". She finished saying looking at me expectantly.
After being in thought for a second I replied "Honestly princess I don't see any other choice around here". joked that there was nothing here other than us and the changeling, who strangely seemed to move with my intentions. "I accept your agreement, what to do now?"
This prompted Luna to clap her hooves real quick as she gave a quick little giggle until she noticed her own reaction. "I'm sorry for my inappropriate behavior." She quickly scratched her throat to regain her composure. "Anyway to start the contract just shake the changeling's hoof with your........" She grimaced in disgust. "Human Thing"
I turned to the changeling who turned to me instantly, paw raised, without questioning I shaked his shiny hoof full of holes.
"Is that all?" asked confused.
Luna started to get higher and higher in the air as her eyes sparkled, "Yes human the deal starts now". She spoke in a voice of thunder as several cracks appeared in the void, as if the void itself was cracking, I was starting to get scared that this dream would turn into a nightmare, but Luna continued. "The first step of your contract is to find Nightmare Moon's corpse, you'll know what to do right away" and with his last statement everything went black once again.
....
My head hurt terribly, felt like I had been shot in the middle of the face, I moaned trying to concentrate and opened my eyes only to notice that everything was dark again but this time something was different.
"I do not believe that". I said in exasperation blinking my eyes again. "I woke up, finally woke up, I'm free!!!!!!".I quickly tried to get up, but to my surprise I couldn't move, not because of a disability in my limbs but because I was chained by something sticky.
"What is it ?" I said getting amused with the restriction. "LET ME OUT!!!!!!". With a great force I managed to rip my right arm off what the hell was holding me, I heard a big ripping sound, this thing is very sturdy but it won't give me any problems getting rid of the rest, even though I felt my arm weird, I couldn't feel my fingers, but it didn't matter much now I was feeling a little too urgent to think.
After getting rid of the thing that was holding me I tried to sit down, but immediately another problem appeared, just a foot high there was an apparent roof made of the same elastic thing as before, the situation was making me very castrophobic and I started to feel that the air wouldn't last long as every second it was getting harder to breathe.
With the panic generated by the lack of air I quickly started to tear the thing to get a way out of that prison, I can't grab with my fingers what was making the process of breaking free, it was very frustrating, until I gave up on grabbing and I just used brute force to advance, which was surprisingly very effective.
After several minutes of desperately digging up I've finally managed to see something since I woke up, a light, a very faint pale light but it was there, this only motivated me more to break out of this prison.
Until I finally reached freedom, I blew my head out sucking all the air I could, feel like I was going to die again, after several heavy breaths I looked up to the sky and saw the source of the pale light, the moon, it was even more beautiful than I could remember and the stars that graced the sky matched her perfectly, it's as if they were created together.
I spent a few minutes looking at the moon which seemed somehow to be staring back at me, then I started to lower my vision the second thing noticed in the distance was a range of snowy mountains that stretched as far as the eye could see, and I finally started to look around me.
Unlike the two previous views where I was, it wasn't nearly as beautiful as it was in the middle of an unhealthy desert that hadn't seen a drop of water in centuries, and didn't seem to have any signs of life for miles around, The only thing besides the sand was some rocks that looked like big obsidian stalactite turned upside down.
A certain feeling of familiarity hit me but I ignored it, so I finally looked down to see something that surprised me a lot.
No wonder I couldn't grab anything BECAUSE I JUST HAVE NO FINGERS, in place were my hands should be, had just hooves pierced like Swiss cheese and black as coal, and looking better at the rest of my body I realize I have a heavy chitin armor full of scars and a elytra that I could feel my wings inside.
A mixture of shock and discomfort began to circulate in my mind, there was no way this could be real, this is not happening, I should wake up in the hospital and talk to my father, why is this happening?
Then remembered what i hear after my death, from the conference with the princess, the handshake, ern......hoofshake, with the changeling and everything blackout.
"Alright Samuel calm down this is just another dream". I told myself trying to reassure myself but it didn't work, I've never had a lucid dream and nobody knows the difference between illusion and reality better than me after so many years of dreaming.
This just doesn't make sense, getting up and having trouble balancing in my new center of gravity, turned around to see the rest of the environment and when I looked back the vision I had was jaw-dropping.
There in terrifying glory just under a mile away was a castle so big it made a skyscraper look like a toy, and so wide it blocked the view of the landscape behind it, the castle was full of holes that opened and closed In a way that looked random, it was a dark green that had a stark contrast to the desert it was in and was made of a material I couldn't guess, what bothered me the most, is that I felt the castle was alive and I could instinctively feeling him the moment I made eye contact, as if he were part of me, or more likely, as if I am part of him.
Afraid, I passed slowly backwards doing my best not to trip, until I looked down from where I emerged, there was like a small pool covered by the elastic goo that changelings spit, there was obviously my escape hole , what really caught my eye was a strange statue made of this bizarre changeling resin that seemed to be made for some voodoo purpose, and hanging from the statue was a stone slab with writing that I had never seen before, but somehow I could read.
'Rest in peace General Radius, beloved husband, father and honorable soldier of queen's hive'.
"My God this is a tomb!". Looking around I noticed other pools and tombstones.' This is a changeling graveyard!' If this is the graveyard, over there is the castle where queen chrysalis rules, I don't know which course I should take in this world but anywhere is better than being near that love freak, so I've decided my first goal is to go to the opposite side where the castle is, when I'm far enough away I'll think about what to do next.
I started to try to walk and to my surprise it was not that complicated it seemed that this body already had a lot of muscle memory, according to the grave I am in the body of a deceased changeling so it made sense to be able to trot without much trouble in such a short time, while walking I saw several tombs with bizarre names, cornea, elytra, carrion, trapeze and etc.
I was so distracted by the graves that I didn't notice the black flicker out of the corner of my eye, until I looked ahead and not too far away to see a changeling face down over a grave with the vertebra's written on the plaque.I'm almost twice his size.
I wanted to continue without drawing any attention but I felt a really bad taste at the point of the tongue, it doesn't look like the taste of solid things like sweet or bitter, it just tasted like sadness and loneliness. I should go and let it go but there's this bug thing in my brain that just doesn't want to sit still looking at the shifter like that,so it took a lot of willpower to veer out of the way to not draw attention, but obviously my heavy steps didn't go unnoticed. how much i weight?
Looking ahead I noticed a problem in my in my first plan since I woke up. The cemetery didn't have any walls so I could easily see the direction I was going, straight into the everfree forest.
I couldn't go ahead blindly, but it was either the forest or the castle, so unfortunately I had to do what my insect part wanted and went to talk to the changeling.'Just go ask for information no shit talk, who cares this is the first conversation you'll have in decades? Of course if we exclude Princess Luna'. Surprisingly I wasn't afraid of the bug pony, probably because my body looks a lot more bizarre than they.
"I'm sorry to bother you, but could ask for some help?" asked with resentment, hope to not regret it.
But I could feel the insect's annoyance as it said in a voice that to my surprise is recognizable as female.
"What do you want old man? Can't you see I'm not in good mood ?" She said with an angry tone in her voice. Well done genius literally in your first sentence with someone in decades you've made that person angry.
"I'm really sorry, I promise won't to bother you more than necessary, just came to visit someone before I went into but forgot which direction is Equestria, could you point me the direction please?". I Said trying to put a stop to the bad mood, she was clearly having a hard time and in all honesty, I have no idea how to comfort someone in grief, much less a changeling.
"I'll show you the direction of your grave if you don't leave me alon.........". The words quickly died in her mouth as she turned to look at me where she thought my eyes should be, only to meet my natural chest armor, her head slowly rising as her ears dropped, if body language wasn't enough to say the fear she had of me I could still taste her fear, I'll admit it wasn't too bad, it reminded me in someway pepperoni.
"For the queen!" She exclaimed in surprise and bowing to the ground "I'm really sorry, I didn't realize you were a general, please forgive me". She said in a tearful voice.
This is definitely not the reaction I have expected, but it's definitely better than unintentionally picking a fight 30 minutes after resuscitation in a body you're not used to.
"I am the one who need to apologize, I was very impolite given the situation." My words calmed down the little changeling, but she still had a lot of animosity toward her.
"No need to be scared, I already said it was my fault, just show me the way so I can leave you in peace." I Said not liking the awkward atmosphere.
"Erm". She grumbled looking at the forest then at me and finally the grave. A feeling of frustration raced through her mind but to my relief, it wasn't directed at me.
"Don't worry I'll show you the trail in person General." She said trying to compose herself. Part of me was fine with it but the one I was most leaning towards at the moment is that the less contact I have with the changelings the better, it would be weird to refuse now, just need to get out as fast I can.
Looking more closely at the insect mare I realize that just like me it didn't look exactly like the changelings on the show, she had four claws on her front hooves and the fourth looked like a sort of thumb, she also had a slightly swollen abdomen, and had no fangs. These characteristics were strange but this is not the right place of questioning.
"I would gladly accept but honestly I don't want to get in the way." There goes my last attempt to get out as unharmed as possible.
"No, please I insist." She faced the grave one last time. " in the end I feel like staying here is not doing me any good, follow me sir." She started to walk and I followed her by her side, continued like this for a few minutes but suddenly the feeling of fear came back a little and she moved away from me getting further, when I looked back I immediately realized what it was.
There dangling unconsciously on my backside was a big scorpion tail. 'Something must be wrong with me, changelings shouldn't have scorpion tails, my God this looks very sharp and dangerous and even has a poisonous glow, hope I don't accidentally stab myself'.
After so much silence she decided to say something. "You seem to be nervous general, what kind of mission is this that can make someone like you afraid?" She asked.
Since I have nothing better to do its better to join the conversation, no one knows how good it is to be able to talk to someone After so long, even if it's an insect pony.
"I'm honestly not really sure and that's what makes me apprehensive, I barely had time to go back and they ask me for something so random." I confessed and she gave me that look of curiosity and I could feel a little empathy. I really didn't answer the question.
"I shouldn't tell anyone but you seem pretty trustworthy." I lied. but give me a break this is the biggest thrill I've had in years, becoming a compulsive muggle is not unexpected.
"The moment I arrived the queen asked me to find Nightmare Moon's corpse, but this is secret, telling someone this means betraying the hive, do you understand me?". Great, you literally haven't known her for an hour and you're already revealing things like this? What's next? Will you tell her your favorite color and start to make friendship bracelets?
"So why are you saying this to me?" She said confused.
"I just wanted to talk to someone before my departure, loneliness has a tendency to make you chatty, by the way my name is....". The words died in my mouth, what name should I use? She may not have recognized my appearance but if Radius is really a great general, she can recognize the name and might end up connecting the dots, and Sam doesn't sound like a changeling name. You know what? I had an idea.
"....... it's collarbone , what about yours?" I asked back, in hopes she wouldn't ask questions about the false nickname.
"Nice to meet you General collarbone name is Ocellus". She replied then looked down, she was with a constant frustration that was building since the beginning of the hike that by the way we already entered the forest but there was a dirt road that clearly indicated a safe path. I hope.
"General, hope I'm not being too hasty but..." She stopped walking making me look at her, a feeling of uncertainty taking over her spirit as well as fear and remorse.
"I know I'm just a worker but please answer me honestly." She then looked into my eyes. "Can I become a soldier?" This really caught me off guard. Please don't ask questions I'm not quite sure how to answer. She clearly misinterpreted my uncertainty about myself and lowered her head with tears falling from her eyes and a strange hum that I could deduce were hiccups.
"I think I knew from the start, sorry for wasting your time on such a silly question." Great, now you made her cry, I have to fix this somehow.
"Please don't get me wrong you can become whatever you want, it's just that the question took me by surprise." I comforted her as she giggled nervously and scratched the back of her head.
"Really? You're not kidding me, are you?" She said. The melancholy slowly being filled with hope.
"I am saying the thuth". I guess." It's just that at your age I never even thought about becoming a soldier." It wasn't a complete lie, but I honestly don't know how old she is, she may be a teenager from her voice and size.
My answer made her all melancholy fade away, it doesn't even feel like an hour ago she was depressingly in front of a tomb.
"I can't believe it !, a general who wasn't born as a soldier. Tell me with class from the hive you were before the change of position?". Now I was surprised by the statement. So is that why we are so different? Do we belong to different classes in the hive? I have no idea what the other classes are so I'll improvise.
"I was a worker just like you." I think it was good damage control. Antenna went back to walking full of vitality in front of me, the sooner we separate better.
"This is just perfect." She jumped up and sat on the floor puffing out her chest and with a newfound determination. "Please general collarbone, make me your underling"
"And you want me to make you what?"
"I want you to, well you know...... make me your soldier, do that noble thing and etc." Now damage control has jumped out the window.
"I think we're having a little disagreement here, what exactly do you want me to do?" She was confused by my reaction. Come on Sam use your stupid brain for something, she can't find out you're not a general.
"Well you know, you are a general, a changeling of the nobility who can turn changelings like me into his subordinates." She said it as if she was explaining that the sky is blue. Again I'm left with not many options, I don't even know how to control that stupid tail properly, much less how to change a changeling. I'm going to have to break the first rule I've made for myself since I got here, it's time for shit talk.
"Ocellus, why do you want to become a soldier? This is not child's play, you have no training or anything that would qualify you for the job." 'Sorry for the dream crusher one'.
This shocked the young changeling before the familiar wave of rage erupted again." Child's play? I am almost a adult, and I may not have formal training but my mother is a soldier and has teach me very well how to defend myself and You don't have the right to talk to me about qualities, at least I can keep secrets!". The girl stated in defiance. Touché that hurt. But she didn't answer the first question.
Giving my best 'I don't care' posture I took a few steps forward making her back up a bit and making her lose her composure. "Why do you want to become a soldier little one ?" It's now or never. The changeling recovered and gave me a sad look.
"My mother was a soldier as I said, my older brother too, and my father is a builder, when I was born they made me a worker so I wouldn't have to suffer in the stupid conflict that the hive is in, my mother went on a mission to a few months and she hasn't come back, everyone says she died but i can feel her, if i become a soldier i can find her, so please help me". She lowered her head pleadingly.
"Look I'm sorry about what happened to your mother but even if I wanted to I couldn't change your class, the queen needs to be informed." I invented anything. "But your heart is in the right place, try to stand out in the hive and get an audience with another noble I really can't help now, but in the future maybe." I will never go back.
She said nothing and got up with sadness but with determination in her eyes and then she started walking and I followed her again. I think she believed it.
After several minutes we arrived at a hole and upon entering it revealed a tunnel with seven forks.
"So that's it" .She waited a moment. "it was a pleasure meeting you despite everything." She said as she started to walk outside.
"Just one thing one more thing, if you want to find Nightmare Moon's corpse start with Ponyville, that's where she was killed, it's the second tunnel on the right". She said outside.
"I already knew". I said as walking through the subterranean darkness, having no idea of the crazy journey that was waiting for me, I really liked Ocellus, despite everything I hope to help her in future.
