I was in Celestias personal restroom scrubbing the hell out of my face with a sudsy towel as she and Luna were having a heated conversation in the main study. And I do mean conversation; for as pissed as both of them were, they weren't biting at the bit to fight each other. It was more like, aggressively agreeing with each other. Case in point: Celestia says-

"That bearded old rat! He kept this from us! I'm going to burn his mausoleum to the ground!"

And then Luna says-

"Nay! We are going to find his body and publicly sodomize-"

And then the baby screams like two glasses were being scraped together while someone took an icepick to my large-ass ears. I take my chance to poke my head out to see the two criminals-to-be calmly rocking the cradle while gritting their teeth. The baby eventually stops signaling his location to the whole city, and then the sisters begin anew as I once again try getting pink out of my facial fur. Not having much luck. I'm in the process of trying Celestia's fancy shampoo when they finally get tired of plotting the heist of a dead pony's soul from the depths of Tartarus. They barged into the (rather spacious) bathroom and jumped into the tub together as they turned the hot water on. Watching them out of the corner of my eye, I cautiously greeted them.

"Hey. Uh, you... You two got that out of your system?" Their answer was a simultaneous:

"No."

"Okay. That's fine, but uh... I have no idea what the fuck even has you two so pissed at one pony that you had a whole discussion about the merits the necromancy. Or what a Hearths Warming Eve or any of the crap Cilucidae just dumped on us has anything to do with him."

"I'm just saying, if we bring him back from the dead-" I cut Luna off before her and Celestia could start again.

"Luna, please. I am so lost. We just got a history lesson that seems to mean everything to you girls and nearly nothing to me. All I know is that Culicidae's decisions up to this point were likely driven by deep seeded trauma, which is fucked up by the way, I actually feel bad for her but-" Celestia cut in.

"I apologize Elfilis, you are right. We let our emotions get the better of us." She idly laid her head back against the lip of the tub as the water slowly rose above her back legs and hindquarters. "It is just... We had a mentor, when we were little. Before we ascended to alicornhood." I sat down outside the tub as Luna poured some fragrant soap into the water. "We thought the world of him, of Starswirl. But we never seem to run out of new things to detest him for, even a millenia later."

"Tia is downplaying the matter. He was a bastard of the highest order, an old pony with too much knowledge and not enough wisdom. He had an image in his head, a goal, and everything between him and his aspirations were aberrant monstrosities against ponykind."

"Haaaa, yes. Of course. I am used to censoring myself when it comes to my true feelings on Starswirl. Unicorns adore him and his studies in magic, but they don't seem to understand that his intellect did not reflect well on who he was in person. In short, I hope he died tripping on that fucking beard he was so proud of." I looked back and forth between the sisters as the water finally reached their necks and they turned off the facet. They just lounged back and soaked in the steam.

"... Holy shit, you can't help yourselves. I still have no clue what he has to do with the changelings, you guys just keep talking shit about him." Luna brought her head up to glare nothing in particular.

"I'm glad I kicked you in the dick when I first met you."

"And now you are directly talking to the dead pony."

"The original Hearths Warming was before our time." Celestia murmured quietly. "We were born only days after the pony tribes unified. Starswirl never told us that it was a re-unification. When we were old enough to speak, he requested our parents to let him teach us personally. Only, he would lie to us. He told us things he wanted us to believe were the truth, because he planned to put us on the throne. And Starswirl wished for the new kingdom to be run a certain way."

"I wish I ran him him over with a carriage." Luna was not with the program.

"Agreed. It started small, when we started noticing his deceit. Small patches of land weren't quite inside the borders like we thought they were. Some nobles we were told to trust were not as clean as they acted. Chocolate didn't originate from pony culture. But then we found the big things, the misinformation that was so large it could only be deliberate."

"Honestly..." Luna had never looked so exasperated. "How did he expect us to live our eternal lives without ever discovering that the Griffon empire wasn't some kind of cannibalism cult?" I... what? The hell is that about?

"I imagine Starswirl thought no pony would be willing to correct us once the sun and moon were ours. He didn't account for the fact that most were not as overtly paranoid as he was." I raised a hand to stop her, though I felt silly doing it.

"Hold on, this guy knew that you were going to be immortals before you ever knew yourselves? And then tried to use you to twist the world how he wanted?" Something I said was wrong, if the way Celestia's eyes darkened were any indication.

"No. He developed a spell to force immortality on us."

"Oh fuck..."

"Indeed. We thought it was something we had earned, only to find his spellwork decades after his burial that detailed the process." Today was just a shit day. The fight with Chrysalis was just the main course and now I'm getting dessert with a cherry on top. "We had already been disillusioned, but it hurt all the same. We are not true alicorns. Starswirl bastardized an old unicorn ritual he found that is supposed to test us before we can be turned immortal. I burned his version and replaced it with the original in his journal should anypony go looking. If alicornhood was a requirement to rule the country, Cadence would actually have more claim to royalty than us. She ascended naturally."

"This is crazy. That's why you two were planning to use Starswirl for target practice though, right? Because all this crap with changelings flew under your radar far longer than it would have if the old pony hadn't been on some kind of ego trip." I huffed in annoyance. The full picture was still out of reach, I still had no clue what Hearths Warming and the Wendigos were but I no longer felt like the royal sisters were completely out of their minds. "Hey, not to change the topic or anything, but what's going to go down with the baby? We basically just gave his crazy murderous mother to his sad tyrannical grandmother as a political prisoner and he still doesn't have a name. Or a mother for that matter."

Culicidae was going to murder Elfilis. He appeared right as she was about to retire for the day and enjoy some Friend Hearts to herself. She had enough of his stupid pink face for the day.

"What!? What more could you possibly want?"

"Is Chrysalis lucid enough to name her baby?"

"His grandma recommended the name 'Aurum' to me." Celestia hummed as she poured warm water over her mane.

"It is a pretty name. Not what I had expected from her, but a nice one all the same."

"Well, her first choice was 'Coleoptera' but I pointed out that she had a bit of theme going on and she got self-concious and picked a new one for him."

"I wonder where she gets those names from? They are rather exotic."

"Okay, so get this, she pulled out an old science encyclopedia and turned the pages till she got to the bug section." Luna emerged from under the water.

"I hope his arthritis acted up when it rained." I just looked at her, feeling the disbelief show on my face.

"... Anything else you want to add to the conversation?"

"... He had terrible taste in cloaks." Celestia snickered at her sister for a moment before calming down.

"Yes, well, now that we are of calmer minds, I suggest that we address our subjects. We should have done so earlier, I can only imagine the types of rumors that have been spreading in our absence."

"Ugh, you should be the one to do it then Tia. The average pony still acts like I'm going to steal their newborns." We were all silent for a moment, just letting the reality of the situation sink in. The only sound was of Aurum tumbling around in his crib in the next room. "... Fuck."

Carina turned from where she was talking to Twilight as the door opened. She smiled as she saw Elfilis crouch slightly through the door, carrying a wrapped bundle in his arms. He... yeah, he looked like shit. His hands were wrapped in gauze, he clearly had a layer of fur missing down the front of his body, and his face was stained a bright neon pink for some reason.

"Hey sexy... How's it going?" Elfilis huffed put a laugh in response before sitting down at the side of her bed.

"Flatterer. Hello to you too. Want to see your new nephew?"

"Ooh! Gimme! I never get to see the babies back at the Hive." She carefully picked up the bundle in her magic and pulled the baby into her embrace. Carina gasped as she unwrapped the blanket that kept his body hidden from veiw. "Oh my gosh, he's so beautiful! He's sparkly and sh- stuff. Oh no, I'm going to have to stop swearing aren't I?"

"Well, guess that depends on whose going to take care of him and how much you're going to interact with him. His name is Aurum by the way." Twilight perked up slightly at that.

"His name is the scientific term for gold?"

"... His first name was going to be Coleoptera?"

"That just means beetle."

"Carina, your mom is shit at naming her kids." Carina was going to dispute that, say that she at least had a beautiful name, but she ended up stopping herself.

"Chrysalis didn't get to name him?" Elfilis shook his head slowly.

"No. As angry as I am at her, I did ask your mom if Chrysalis could name him. She says your sister is still recovering. Her body... it took a lot of damage in our fight and when we got back she immediately went into labor. All her energy went into little Aurum there."

"She's not going to like that..." Carina went quiet for a moment as she gazed into her nephew's bright blue eyes. She sniffled and wiped the tears from her eyes. And then she sniffled again. And then she took a big sniff that scrunched up her muzzle before turning to a bemused Elfilis. "... I thought it was just Aurum, but you smell overwhelmingly like Chrysalis's... pheromones."

"... I was a little too close when her water broke." Carina cackled as Elfilis face blushed a deeper pink and Twilight groaned into her pillow. "Yeah, yeah. I didn't realize how deep in my fur it had soaked until we got back from the Hive. Now it's stained. Apparently not even the royal soaps could hide the scent from you."

"You smell like she sat on you! It's so bad!" She still laughed as she said this. "Is that why you didn't want to come in earlier?!"

"...Partly."

"Oh, oh my god your such a dork sometimes Elfilis."

"You looked like you were going to kill me that morning we woke up and you thought I smelled like your mom. I didn't want to try to have a moment with you with your sisters womb juice-"

"Womb Juice!? Hahahaha! Oh fuck! Ow, fuck, my sides. Holy shit. Oh, oh it hurts so good. I'm injured. Mercy, please! Hahaha... oh... please, never change Elfilis." He just grunted at Carina, but he still brought an arm around her in a hug as she calmed down.

"I'll do my best. For the record, I'm glad that I don't have your sense of smell." Twilight moaned from her own bed, though it was muffled by the pillow impaled on her horn.

"Is there any chance I could get my own room? Where ponies aren't talking about things like getting splashed by embryonic fluids and smelling like infidelity?"

"Tia, what are we going to do about Aurum?" Celestia rubbed at her eyes as she mentally crafted her response.

"I believe we should request that Carina and Elfilis stay in the castle for a time. Not to parent him necessarily, but because Carina is a member of his species we can trust to have his best interests at heart and Elfilis can directly contact Queen Cilucidae should any complications appear that we don't have a solution for." She stopped Luna for a moment to make sure she had her attention. "We are going to be too busy for the next few days to devote the time Aurum needs from caretakers, but Cadence has likely been trying to make herself feel usefull since the attack. I will send her a message, see if she is willing to nanny him until further notice."

"And what of food? Aurum suckled on Chrysalis teats, but I suspect her milk was full of Love that won't be present in any formula or wetnurse available to us."

"... We have Toby?" Luna shook her head before explaining.

"No Tia. Elfilis says that Carina's growth was literally explosive at times when she was feeding on Toby. She could prevent it by feeding while transformed, but Aurum might not be able to do so without some form of instruction. We should not risk it, lest we end up with an alicorn-sized baby on our hooves." Celestia nodded, that was obviously not the desired outcome. She grimaced as she thought of another solution though. "Sister? What is wrong?" The older sister mumbled quietly under her breath. "Tia? What did you say?"

"... I said Elfilis can open portals..."

"... You know what else he can do dear sister?"

"Um... he can fly?"

"He can create Friend Hearts. It's how he's feeding the Hive?" Luna tried very hard to hold her smile at her sisters growing embarrassment.

"Well I didn't hear you making any suggestions..."

"I also didn't suggest that Elfilis trap Chrysalis's teats in a portal! Tia! I am in awe! Your brain works in fascinating ways."

Author's Note

It's hard to wind down once you've built it up, but it's gotta happen at some point. Life is just as much about the calm phases as it is about the times when everything turns pear-shaped.