Twilight and Carina had finally recovered enough to move and walk around, albeit slowly, and now the three of us plus Aurum were sitting at the fancy dining table that Luna broke in half on my second day in Equestria. It looked good as new. We were really just waiting for the rest of the girls (Princesses included) and Spike to make an appearance. I guess we were going to have a dinner meeting. Or... damn. It was actually morning. All that crap happened late. All our sleep schedules were going to screwed over. I didn't get to lament on it long as the great big doors opened, admitting everyone who was missing into the room. Plus some others I hadn't thought about, like the Guard Captain I couldn't remember the name of and Princess Cadence.

"Shining! Cadence!" Twilight apparently knew the two. She actually looked like she wanted to leap out of her seat before her exhaustion got the better of her. "It's been awhile. I'm glad I get to see you before I go." Shining smiled lightly before speaking, and Cadence smiled like she was at the dentist's office.

"Hey Twily. Saw what you did at the Gala. I would've come to visit my little sister earlier if I could, but the castle has been a little... understaffed lately. The Princess said you were okay though." Well, apparently Twilight was related to the Royal Guard Captain. I didn't see the resemblance, but I was hardly accustomed to what pony heritage was supposed to look like. And then I saw that Shining's cutie mark was the same as Twilights but with a shield behind it. Fuck. Do I seriously need to stare at asses to see family resemblances? Princess Cadence then very rambunctiously greeted Twilight herself.

"Twilight! I'm so glad your okay! That spell was crazy! You've grown up so much since I last saw you!" Wait, that didn't sound right.

"Didn't you both live here at the castle before she moved to Ponyville? That was... crap I don't keep track of time very well. Four or five months ago? You were here on the day she left I thought?" Twilight groaned as I said that.

"Nooooo. I must've just missed her. She took a trip to her old home for a couple of months. I was in too much of a rush to get back to Ponyville with the girls." She looked around for a few moments around her before developing a quizzical expression. "Has anypony seen Spike? He visited me after our friends were... escorted out of medical but I haven't seen him since."

"I'm back here Twilight!" We all looked to see the kitchen door bust open as Spike and Swaddle-Dee carried towers of pancakes. I wondered were he had disappeared too. "I helped make breakfast for everypony! It didn't seem like any of us had much to eat so I thought I'd pitch in!" For some reason Luna giggled.

"Well, you know at least that these cakes are real." Celestia apparently understood whatever that meant because she snorted and lightly tossed a napkin over her sisters muzzle.

"Yes yes, it was very funny. Thank you Spike, and you as well Swaddle-Dee. Everypony fill your plates, this is going to be a long discussion." We all ate as Celestia recapped the 'shittiest night ever' for everyone who wasn't there for most of it. I didn't learn much, but it was nice to hear it all recapped for the sake of clarity. We fucked up Chrysalis's prison, she went a little crazy with power/pregnancy, attacked everyone and everything between her and Toby (wait, where the fuck was Toby?), I beat the crap out of her until I realized she was pregnant, she gave birth, and Queen Culicidae gave us a lost history lesson to justify being a shit parent. Celestia didn't bring up her grudge against Starswirl though, which was a shame because that was one of the most interesting parts. Twilight was shaking in her seat the more her mentor spoke.

"I have so many questions! It feels like there is so much we're missing!" Celestia just smiled and told her student to continue. "Carina is set up to give live births, Chrysalis did give a live birth, but the Queen lays so many eggs she rules a small kingdom of her own children! If we're right about the difference being the partners they copulate with, then her actions dont make any sense. If she's actually preventing her kids from reproducing because of a lack of a reliable food source to support a large population, why doesn't she just have her children spread out and reproduce with the other species? We know the changelings outside of the hive are more healthy, and, and-" She finally ran out of breath and had to take a deep breath before speaking again. More sedately this time. "I... have more questions but I think those are probably the most pressing one. I can ask about how changelings influenced pony culture later." Celestia openly smiled while the Elements looked at Twilight with fond exasperation.

"That is a brilliant question Twilight. Elfilis? I can hear you thinking from here. What are your thoughts?" I'm pretty sure my 'thinking sound' was my fingers tapping at the table.

"I think Twilight is onto something. Queen Culicidae's actions don't seem to made out of logic so much as out of fear of her family growing hungry. She acts terribly but still seems to feel some sort of responsibility for the Hive that might be bordering on possessive. Her kids might all still be 'kids' to her, and she has to take care of them. I don't think letting them out into the world has occurred to her, or if it has then it is a thought that scares her." And then a different thought occurred to me. "That's... that's assuming she actually knows as much about her biology as we do." And I think I lost them. "Hear me out. Culicidae is barely reaching adulthood when her whole species dies out. She might have never been able to leave her country to explore like she says other changeling were able too. Her and her brother reach out for help, and are attacked. Her brother subsequently dies. Now she has no experience outside of her little bubble, and she has reason to believe she shouldn't ever leave it. So why should her children ever leave it either? Even when she let changelings leave the hive, it was for the sake of collecting Love, which is a necessity." Applejack spoke up at this point, with Rainbow backing her up.

"Now hol' on a minute there, you think she never figured out how her own' body works?"

"Yeah, I mean, you said she was almost an adult. Surely she would have been taught or figured it out by then."

"Well, then let's play a little game to see if it's possible." I got all of their attentions, but I was making shit up on the spot. I didn't think I knew most of them well enough to do this correctly so I had to wing it with who I did know. "Rainbow Dash, how long should you sleep everyday?"

"Uh, I dunno. Whenever I'm tired?" I nodded before turning to Twilight. Thankfully she understood her cue.

"It's around five to seven hours Rainbow, sometimes in two separate three hour increments. I don't know how much sleep you get in total, but you do fall asleep more often than you should."

"Oh. Uh... Really?" I wasn't expecting that answer either, but I kept going anyway.

"Pinkie Pie-"

"Present!"

"... Thank you Pinkie. Now, how much sugar is considered healthy for the average pony?"

"Twelve to sixteen grams! Anymore can lead to unhealthy weight gain and serious health problems such as Laminitas or Insulin Resistance!" It wasn't just me who gave her a weird look. I thought she had just beat me at the game, but Twilight still spoke up to correct her.

"Pinkie, you eat at least twelve times that amount everyday. And that's a conservative estimation. You would be severely unhealthy if that was true."

"What!? But the 'Your Horse' newsletter was so sure! I'm gonna file a complaint!" I decided to consider that a win and just go with it. I was going to move on to Rarity, but I couldn't think of any bad habits to point out.

"Okay... So, Applejack!"

"I know my body like the back of ma' hoof!"

"Mmhmm... Alright, what should you do if you pull a muscle?"

"Ya gotta suck it buttercup! There's work to do!" That went way easier than I thought it would. Twilight wasn't even the one to answer, it was Rainbow Dash.

"Yeah, uh, no. I know earth ponies are like, crazy durable, but if you really pull a muscle you have to ice that baby and take a break. Some pegasi have ruined their careers by ignoring muscle cramps."

"... You for real?" Celestia finally spoke again, but she was a little grumpy this time. It made Aurum giggle a little in his booster seat though.

"I need to edit the education reform bills later. Anywho, yes, it appears that it is very possible to become a young adult without knowing some important information about our bodies. If that is the case with Culicidae, then we may have a bit more work on our hooves than I originally thought. I will need to build a team to do research and study volunteers... which will be difficult. I don't think I know anypony who specializes in this kind of thing." Twilight timidly spoke up with an unsure look on her face.

"I mean... Maybe some veterinarians? They work with different animal species all the time."

"Actually-" I said this pretty much as the thought was forming. "I think I might actually know someone with a related specialty."

"Thank you Dragonite, it looks delicious." Professor Samuel Oak carefully took the mug of coffee from the large dopey dragon. It always amazed him how careful such a large pokemon could be. Oak knew he couldn't be so careful if he tried! And that's not self-deprecation, his accidents and mishaps were almost as famous as the discoveries that earned him the moniker of 'The Pokémon Professor.' It was why he always tried to have an assistant on hand, human or otherwise. Oh, but enough about that! It was time for the good professor to enjoy some coffee!

He barely took a sip when someone called his number.

"Well that's odd. Who's calling so early in the morning?" He put his coffee down on his desk and make sure his camera was set up right before answering the call. "Hello! You've reached the- Oh! Oh. Um. Pardon me, I'm down here." Professor Oak had seen many odd things and fantastical creatures, but never one quite as unique as the one calling himself 'Elfilis.' When said creature left, he at least made sure to give him his number, even if he wasn't terribly confident he would ever call. So when he saw Elfilis on screen, he became estactic! Except, Elfilis wasn't sitting in the Pokémon Centers chair. He was standing up and was giving Professor Oak a good veiw of his genitalia before he realized his mistake.

"God- Sorry, give me a moment. I didn't realize there was a camera. The chair doesn't exactly fit me you know." Elfilis got down on his knees and bent over to try to get in the shot. He looked terribly uncomfortable and the phone he was holding was dwarfed by both his long hand and his expansive ears. For some reason, his face was pink now. "Hey! Sorry again! That happens more often than it should. Your name is Professor Oak right? I'm remembering that correctly?" Oak just smiled and leaned back in his seat. It was more amuzing than it was embarrassing to him at this point.

"That is correct! Professor Samuel Oak to be precise! And there is nothing to be sorry for, I know those old phone booths are terribly small. Now! How can I help you? Unless you're here to answer some of my questions?"

"Uh, both? Can we trade? I answer questions and you help me?"

"Sounds like a fair trade! Here, let me find your location. I'll try to give you instructions to my lab, I imagine the Center will be full of overly eager Pokemon Trainers any minute now."

"Oh, no need. I'll just head over now." And then Elfilis hung up before Oak could check to see where he was calling from. He turned in his desk chair as a five-pointed portal opened up to his right, revealing the Pokémon Center on the other side for all of two seconds before Elfilis stepped through and closed it.

"Well that's a rather unique way of travel! Did you even know where my lab was?"

"No." Elfilis looked a little unsure as he said this. "My abilities seem to just work most of the time. It's strange."

"Instinctual abilities aren't that strange, though very few are so versatile. Saving that thought for later, what do you need my help with? Oh, and if you see Dragonite, don't mind him. He's actually very gentle."

"Alright. Well, let me just..." Elfilis barely twirled his wrist as the portal opened behind him again, but as he stepped aside, Professor Oak saw someplace completely new. The portal revealed many equine creatures of varying colors and sizes. He would almost believe they were some rare variant of Ponyta or Rapidash if it weren't for the fact that they had such significant differences between them, such has horns or wings. Some had neither and others had both. And even besides them, one had both a Rapidash horn and a set of antlers, and another small one looked as if it was made of gold! No species he knew had such variety in both color and anatomy. His attention was then caught by a small purple lizard that vaguely reminded him of a Raltz as it looked behind them and yelled.

"Whoa! Is that a dragon!?" The Professor turned his chair around to see a very confused Dragonite holding a pair of plates with breakfast made for the two of them.

"Oh, thank you again Dragonite. Come, let's introduce ourselves. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity after all!"

Author's Note

Just an FYI, this story isn't going to become a massive clashing of the multiverse type thing where Tony Stark sets up a lab in Equestria next to Ganondorfs castle or anything like that. I find those types of stories are often messy and hard to read. Oak isn't a permanent character and will at most make cameos once his job is done.