R̶e̴p̷r̵i̸m̸a̵n̵d̷
̵S̷w̵a̶d̸d̸l̶e̴-̷D̷e̷e̷,̵ ̵I̸ ̷n̶e̴e̷d̸ ̸y̴o̴u̸ ̷t̴o̴ ̷s̸t̷o̴p̸ ̴m̴o̸p̸i̶n̸g̴ ̴a̴n̵d̵ ̶s̸t̵i̴c̶k̶ ̷w̶i̵t̵h̶ ̵E̴l̷f̸i̴l̵i̸s̵ ̸t̵o̴d̵a̴y̸.̷

The orange blob of attitude didn't respond, simply closing his borrowed (until further notice) book and crossing his nubby arms in defiance. It wasn't that he disliked Elfilis or Carina, but his purpose has always been to be a caretaker of young ones. He understood that when he was created that there might not be a baby to care for for some time, and he was willing to be patient, but then Aurum was born not two rooms away from him and he was then told that he had to stick with his creator instead. Princess Cadence was given little Aurum to raise instead, and then Swaddle-Dee had to find out that the gems he found that he liked so much were some 'Elements of Acrimony' or something and that he was only going to be able to hold onto them for so long. So Swaddle wasn't feeling particularly compliant at the moment.

D̶i̵s̴g̷r̷u̵n̷t̶l̷e̴d̶
̴Y̶o̷u̶ ̷a̵l̵r̵e̵a̵d̵y̶ ̷h̴a̶v̴e̴ ̶a̶ ̴k̵i̷d̴ ̶t̷o̸ ̸t̵a̸k̸e̵ ̴c̵a̴r̷e̵ ̸o̶f̷ ̴a̴n̵d̶ ̵y̵o̶u̴'̴v̸e̷ ̴b̴e̸e̷n̶ ̷a̵v̵o̶i̴d̴i̷n̵g̶ ̷h̴i̵m̸.̸ ̶A̴n̴d̸ ̷a̸t̶ ̶t̸h̸i̴s̵ ̸r̴a̸t̵e̴ ̵h̷e̵'̶s̸ ̷g̸o̶i̴n̶g̶ ̶t̸o̷ ̴h̴a̵v̶e̵ ̵t̴o̶ ̵b̴u̸i̶l̵d̸ ̵a̷ ̷w̸h̵o̴l̷e̷ ̵d̵a̷m̶n̸ ̴n̵u̶r̸s̸e̶r̵y̶ ̷b̷e̷f̸o̶r̵e̸ ̶l̷o̵n̷g̶,̸ ̴a̴n̴d̷ ̵t̷h̴e̷n̷ ̴y̷o̷u̴'̵l̸l̷ ̵h̸a̶v̶e̵ ̸a̵l̵l̷ ̷t̶h̸e̵ ̵l̶i̴t̷t̵l̸e̵ ̸b̷a̴b̷y̶ ̵a̵b̴o̴m̴i̸n̴a̴t̷i̸o̷n̸s̵ ̷y̶o̴u̷'̵l̶l̸ ̸e̴v̴e̴r̶ ̵n̵e̵e̶d̶.̷ ̸A̴l̷s̷o̵,̸ ̴E̵l̷e̷m̸e̴n̶t̸s̴ ̸o̵f̷ ̷H̴a̷r̴m̴o̴n̷y̵.̵ ̷A̴c̴r̸i̷m̸o̸n̸y̵ ̴i̸s̴ ̸l̶i̷k̶e̴ ̸b̵e̴i̸n̵g̴ ̶r̶e̸s̶e̸n̴t̵f̵u̶l̴ ̶o̵r̶ ̷h̶a̷r̸m̷f̵u̶l̸ ̸t̸o̸w̸a̵r̴d̶s̸.̴.̷.̶ ̵H̵a̶r̶m̴f̶u̶l̸,̴ ̸H̶a̵r̸m̵o̶n̵y̴,̵ ̸g̶o̷t̸ ̶i̴t̸.̸ ̴C̴l̶e̸v̷e̵r̷.̷ ̸P̷o̴i̴n̸t̴ ̶s̵t̴i̷l̵l̴ ̶s̶t̵a̵n̷d̷s̷,̵ ̶t̵h̸e̷y̷ ̴a̶r̴e̷n̵'̵t̸ ̷y̷o̶u̵r̶s̷ ̸a̶n̷d̴ ̶I̷ ̵n̸e̸e̵d̶ ̴y̵o̵u̷ ̴t̶o̸ ̷w̷a̸t̵c̴h̴ ̶y̵o̵u̶r̷ ̴c̷h̶a̷r̶g̸e̵.̵ ̴I̸f̵ ̸I̸ ̴t̵e̸l̷l̵ ̵y̷o̵u̷ ̸h̵e̶'̶s̴ ̷g̶o̷i̴n̴g̵ ̴t̸o̶ ̴a̷ ̴s̵c̷h̴o̶o̷l̶ ̵f̶o̸r̴ ̵c̸h̷i̷l̷d̸r̴e̸n̵ ̶w̴i̶l̴l̸ ̵y̵o̸u̷ ̴g̷o̴?̴ ̸

Well, alright. Swaddle-Dee supposed that was fine. Just let him get his warhammer-

Ȧ̵̝b̵͚̚s̶̗̽ǫ̸̑l̷̳̑ư̷̥t̶̛̘e̷̺͑ḻ̴̇ÿ̵̝́ ̸̤͝ṇ̷̏o̵̓ͅt̸͚́!̷̫̇

I looked up at the ceiling as the sounds of furniture being thrown echoed down from Swaddle-Dee's room.

"You don't suppose that book he's been reading just has a really disappointing ending do you?" Carina lightly shook her head as she sucked down a juicebox, loudly.

"I think it's an encyclopedia." I tilted my head in confusion, before deciding that it could wait. I was stalling.

"Alright... So, you excited for the race?" And I wasn't done yet. Carina nodded enthusiastically with her mouth full of Maxim Tomato, flinging juice onto the table. "Cool. Um-"

"Shpit it ought." And she also knew me well enough to tell that I was dancing around a subject. And it was silly of me to avoid it I felt, as Carina had already made her feelings on this known. I fully expected her response to be 'it took you long enough.'

"Ok. So, I talked to Luna-" I stopped as she started slamming her hooves on the table excitingly, sending her half eaten miracle fruit onto the floor as she forced herself to swallow what she already had before she was done chewing.

"Blugh! You said yes right!? Or did she say yes? No! She was definitely the one to ask, so you would be the one agreeing and saying yes! Which you did! Right!?" I smirked and blushed and chuckled all at once in the face of Carina's joyful panicking.

"Yeah, I agreed."

"Fuck! Yes! I demand a feast! A celebration!" I shook my head in response, she was much more excited about this than I had anticipated.

"I think we should all sit down and have a discussion about what me and Luna being together actually means first."

"It means you're two for two on bagging royalty!"

"Not quite what I meant, though I suppose it's true. No, I mean that you might be disappointed, depending on why you are so ecstatic about this." That seemed to bring her down a bit finally as confusion spread across her face. "I mean, that as much as I want you two to get along, I don't want us to really dive feet first into this and then find out that you were entertaining lesbian fantasies, I was thinking of quiet times in the countryside and Luna was imagining a royal wedding." I was relatively confident that there wouldn't be any nasty drama between us, but I wanted us all to have a deep discussion about it just in case.

"... I forget sometimes that you're a little uninformed about pony culture."

"Uh, didn't you have a crisis about pony culture when we started dating?" Carina waved a pink hoof dismissively as I pinched my eyebrows in concern. What did I miss?

"Irrelevant. I know how courting works at least. First thing you have to know, is that as your first partner, I am the Broodmare." What.

"What?" Because, what?

"That means, if a mare wants a turn on the baby-maker, that it would only be polite if she asked me for permission first."

"...Seriously?" Doesn't this mean that Luna confessed her feelings for me to Carina first? "When was this?"

"Luna asked about joining us as a Herdmare the night before we left for Ponyville. After you saved Star Vision from Discord." A Herdmare?

"You know that's not quite how that happened."

"Ignoring your attempt to change the subject," Well didn't I feel called out. "Once I gave Luna my approval all that was left was for her to finally ask you herself."

"That's it?" Wasn't that still ignoring the problem? "You two didn't talk about you both expected from eachother? There was no disagreement? You didn't want one thing from her joining us, she didn't want something else from getting together with me? You didn't come to a deal, or a compromise?" Now she was looking at me like I was crazy.

"A compromise on what? She's looking to join our herd."

"I mean-" I huffed in frustration as I failed to come up with a good explanation. "You want to stick your face in her ass right?" So I gave up on a good explanation and settled for a terrible one. Carina looked at me wide eyed as I dropped my normally conservative vocabulary.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Princess on princess action sounds hot and Luna is like, really toned. In like a sexy soldier way. I want her butt cheeks on my face cheeks." I held up a hand as to try to stop her before she went on. That was all I needed.

"Okay. Now, what happens if we go to bed one night, and you've freakin... Lubed up or whatever, when Luna says that it's her turn to have the sex with me and that she isn't comfortable doing it with you in the room?" I could see the damn lightbulb turn on as my concern finally made it's way behind her eyes. That wasn't to say that I believed Carina was dumb or slow or what have you, but there was clearly a big difference between what we were thinking.

"Oh! Okay, I get it now. Relationships like that are kinda rare, and not really considered healthy? The expectation in stuff like this is that the mares are to be lovers as well. If anyone else wants to join in the future," My stomach fluttered uncomfortably at the notion. "Then they'll have to get permission from me to approach the Herdmares or Herdstallions for permission and then they'll approach you about it."

"... Wait, what am I in this relationship, the 'Broodstallion?' How deep does this go?"

"You are the Stud and as deep as you can go, though I imagine it's proportional to dick size." And then Carina went right back to her juice.

"... I meant how big have 'herds' gotten before?"

"Oh I know. The more serious amswer is that the buck stops the moment any of us says no. Or at least, that's what I would argue. I won't lie, if I said yes to Luna but you had never shown any interest and said no, then I would still be disappointed but I would respect your decision. Plus, I could always do her in my head... Wait, she can go into dreams. Do you think she ever-" I spent a moment wondering what I was getting into as Carina pondered about the likelihood of wet dreams about Luna being wet dreams with Luna. Did not expect to be put so off kilter like this, to be as unprepared and unaware as I was. It was a good thing I figured that there were already expectations in place, and all I could do now was wait and see how it went in practice.

An upstairs door slamming open cut through my musing and Carina's muttering, and we looked to the stairs as Swaddle-Dee took heavy plodding steps down with his hammer slung over his shoulder. The armed caretaker glanced between us, before pantomiming checking a wristwatch for the time. The both of us looked to the clock in sync, and then I was portalling scraps of breakfast away as Carina began stuffing her cheeks with cold toast.

"Shit. Thanks Dee. Carina, come on you can eat on the way- Wait, why are you even- You feed on Love!"

"Itsh tashte gude!"

Princess Celestia carefully read through the roll of parchment detailing the castle's monthly expenses, easily ignoring the dissatisfied grumbling of her new 'secretary.' Truthfully the smarmy stallion wasn't of much help practically, but the alicorn would occasionally look up from her brain numbing work to entertain herself with the sight of Filthy Rich sweating under guard armor two sizes too big. The official story was that he was here to help the crown weed out some of the more pointless and ostentatiuos requests that often made it to her desk. In reality, Filthy Rich was being made to retake his education.

The greedy stallion had already breezed his way through the pre-kindergarten curriculum, but Celestia had also already made him redo kindergarten twice for failing basic ethics and history. He was now in the second grade, learning about government and law and the consequences of breaking them, and this would be his second time through as his first essay preached the sanctimony of contracts and the beauty of haggling. It was a slow process, made only slower by the fact that most ponies in the castle didn't know that Rich wasn't a secretary and were often interupting him to ask him to fulfill a job he didn't know how to complete. And his latest interuption-

"Bwahahahaaaa!" Had apparently scared the soul out of him. Celestia pulled her focus away from her work to see Filthy Rich fall off his desk chair and accidentally kick his neatly ordered and stacked homework into the mask of Delta Knight. Clearly she would need to throw in some lessons about the importance of organization for the poor stallion, but first comes business.

"Hello Delta. To what do I owe the pleasure?" The knight gave a shallow bow (that was probably a rather deep bow considering his shape) before smoothly pushing his way through the open door, kicking papers out of his way all the while.

"Princess. I have a... package, from Queen Culicidae. As a sign of goodwill, she called it." That certainly made Celestia curious. The 'changeling situation,' as Elfilis called it, was still one she was hard at work trying to solve most days. The main obstacle was politics, much to nopony's surprise, but depending on what this 'goodwill' happened to be...

"I suppose 'gift' would be too strong a word?"

"Perhaps. In truth, it is much less for you as much as it is for your hidden changeling populace." An armored mitten reached into Delta's cape and came out with a thick tome, sealed closed with a lock. "This, is supposedly her personal notes on how to edit changeling physiology, with the idea that you could use them to reverse the artificial sterility with less trial and error."

"That," Celestia said almost breathlessly. "Is a very big olive branch, considering how she acted when we last met..."

"Hmm. There's more." Delta had already placed another book on her desk before she could question him. It was clearly much older and was nearly falling apart at the seams, but it also seemed to be much better taken care of in spite of its condition. Not a speck of dust to be seen. "This, is apparently an old school book for young changelings. I suspect, Queen Culicidae's from before the Wendigos destroyed the changeling kingdom."

"Oh, that's great! Perfect in fact, I'm reworking our education system to-"

"Hmm. There's more." Celestia barely had a moment to blink and wonder where was Delta keeping all these books before the largest package so far thudded onto her desk. And then she thought, that's not a book. "This... this is..." It was an icebox of some sort, cold mist seeping through the cracks and wetting her desk. The ominous green color, the unusually organic structure, Delta's clear feeling of disturbance towards it, all of stole her attention and prevented her from looking away from the egg shaped parcel. Delta took a deep breath before shoring up and courage and announcing-

"This is Queen Culicidae's uterus."

"... It's her what?" She couldn't pf heard that correctly.

"Her uterus." And yet...

"... Just so we're clear-"

"She announced that if the changeling race were to continue, it would be best if she were not one of its propagaters."

"... So... on my desk... right now... is a royal monarch's vagina." Delta looked around nervously as Celestia continued to stare blankly at the egg. "I... what? Couldn't she have... I mean, surely there are better ways- She invented better ways to prevent pregnancy! Why...!" And then she folded her hooves over her lips as if in deep concentration. "... Did she just... Did she have one of her children do the surgery on her? Or is she like, dying. On the throne right now, from bloodloss."

"... She squatted over the uh, egg. And appeared to just push it out." Delta Knight coughed into his hand as Celestia tried to burn holes through the package. "... I suspect she used her transformative capabilities to acheive this."

"... This... This is not... This is not how you are supposed to bribe ponies with pussy." And that, Delta didn't have anything to say to that. "... Ok. So, putting aside how absolutely bewildering her methods were, did she give any indication that she was going to suddenly put her entire species well-being in my hooves? Because this seems like a radical change of heart." Delta nodded, glad to move on to a less disquieting subject... If only barely.

"The night before, me and my brothers sensed a p̷̺̞̌ȑ̷͎͖̉e̴̢̤͛͝s̸̺̀͝é̸̦̈́n̴͓̎c̶̱̬̓̊ë̸͉́.̵̡̿"̴̢̗͊́ ̶̠͂ ̴̬͚͐̆ ̸̣͌ ̵̪̝͑ ̶̪̇ ̴̪͍̊ ̷͚͇͝ ̴̛̠͚̄ ̸̙̆ ̸͖͌͆ ̴̬̖̈

I̷n̵t̵e̸r̷f̴e̵r̸e̵n̷c̷e̵
̴Y̵o̷u̸ ̶a̵n̸d̵ ̵I̵ ̵n̷e̷e̶d̸ ̷t̸o̷ ̷h̶a̶v̸e̴ a̷ ̴c̸o̸n̶v̴e̸r̵s̷a̵t̶i̴o̸n̸,̶ ̵P̶h̶a̴n̷t̶o̸m̸.̷

Celestia bade Delta Knight goodbye as he left her office, not able to see the look of concern and sadness under his mask. She had too much on her plate besides, however. Running a country and saving species was a full time job after all.

Delta Knight, however,could only w̵o̸n̴d̶e̴r̵ ̵̫̹͌ḣ̵̞o̶̪̎̽w̸̫͔̑ ̴̧͉̪͉͗̿̓h̴̦͙̬́ǐ̸͉̓̅̋s̴̻̻̉̃͐͊ ̷̨̗̪̤͇̘́͆̒ć̷̦̣̤͚̈́̌̓̕͝r̵̡͔͖͖̬̈́̍̋̅̂̆̿ę̶̧̡̨̛͓̪͓̍̌̒̏a̴̢̢̙͙̩̎t̸̯̗̥͚̒̈͛̎͛̑ͅo̷̦̿̍͐̃̏͝r̷̢̬͙͈̺͌͂'̴̪̟̰̐̀͝ś̷͕̞̀̐̀̋̉̚ ̵̱͐͆̐͝s̸̛̛̜̮̠̯̣͖͍̮̓̐̈u̸̹͇͔̥͖̣̠̒̌͗͝f̵͇̹̘̲̙͔̅̎́̈́́͠f̶̨͔̰̰͉̗̊̓̽̒̅͘͘e̵̢̢̨̧͉̲̯̬̅r̶̗͔̾̎́͗̓̂̚i̸͑̊̐̏͛͘ͅn̵͍͎͑͌͋͛̍̆̕̕ͅg̶͎͎̪̈̋͛͂͛̕̚͝ ̴̺̩̤̭̹̩͍̭̪̱͆̊̐͋͆̑̾̅̈́͆̽͊ͅç̵̧̛̛̣̳͎͉̱̜̤̳͉̦͔͍̟̤̰̐̑̎͆̐͆̓̐͑͋̓̏́̿o̵̰͓͔̲̞͓̗͙̳̜̦̦͈͔͚̗̺̔̈́͋̌͗́̽̆̿͒ú̶̢̡̧͔̱̲̼̼̳̻̼̺̗̞͛̀̊̄̂́̇̊̍̕͘͘͘l̸̖̮̜͙̤̀͛̉͗̆̌̈́͠͠ͅḍ̶̨̛̣̐̓͂̀̃͗̿́͆͗̇͛̋̐̏͗͠͝͠ ̵̨̡̳̮̯̙̱͎̼̱̠̝̻̬͉͕͔̥̝͙̀̆̀̈̅͑̽͛̆̀̈́͆͂͌̉͋̈́̊̕͜͝ ̶̨̞̩̻̳̩̥̜̥͜͝ ̸̨̪̟̝͍̯͎͍̤̤̟̳͕͉̍̄̂̀͑͐ ̸̛͓̘͔̩̳̺͂͛͒͒͋̋̇̌ ̶̨̢͕͓͈̘̓̐ ̸̙͚̘̝́̆̇͘ͅ ̵̧͉͕̫̲̖̺̘̙̽́̈́̅̉̏̓̃̒̔͠͠ͅ ̴̳̻͙̱̣̰̹̦͖̔̈́̿̍́̿́́ ̵̨̛̙̲͍̟͓͎̝̾̅̎͘̚ ̷̡̣̞̹͕̳͖̘͍̳̱̬͐͋͋̄̈́͊̆̓̾͒́͑̚͘͝ͅ ̷̧͓̹̭̲͇̺̜̱̐̃͐̌̿͋̔̅̀͘ ̴͕͒̔̌̂̇͊͌̉͋̈̚̚ ̶̧̗̗͙̝̦̬͖̻̞͔̦̦͛̈́ ̸̨̨̯͈̜̳̯͉̼͚̰͖́̀̒͂̄̎͋̽̽̅͋͌̎̃ ̶̨̛̞̩͎͔̜̹̗̤̰̻̉̀ ̴̨̠̬̤̥̱͉̦͓͕͉̹̪͒́͛̃̓̅̇̎͘͝ ̷̧̧̪̤̺͔̝͈͙̾̃͗͂͋̋̀̉̂̎̑ ̶̢̲͍̙͈͕͔̭͓̞̣͑̿̃̄͗͗̅̒̏̕͝͝ͅ ̷̛̹͌̑̓̅̋̓͗͌͑̇́͘

All the while, an artificial planet makes its last jump to its final destination.

Author's Note

... Too much?