Emerald Takes Canterlot

I’m totally not mad that Twilight had to go off and become ruler of the country.

I mean, that’d be totally childish, right? The rulership of an entire country is way more important than keeping in touch with one pony. That’s why I’m totally not mad. Can you hear just how mad I am not? I’m totally calm! No lingering anger issues here!

I mean, it’s not like I decided to give up my fire elemental form just to be with her, right? There’s lots of things to recommend about this place other than her… despite the rainclouds.

Like uh, Starlight! She’s great! She’s been a bit busy lately, what with being the new principal of Twilight’s School of Friendship, but she can still sometimes find time to fly a kite with me. She even figured out how to enchant this gem so I can dictate to it instead of Spike and it’ll read it all back to me, so I can keep a journal despite still learning how to read and write.

I… I guess this is the first time I’ve ever interacted with ponies when their world doesn’t revolve around me.

That… didn’t sound exactly right. What I mean to say is that when I was an elemental in a copper shell, any interaction was… an event. Everypony worked so hard to make sure that I was comfortable and nothing got singed, and now that that effort isn’t necessary, I guess I… miss it.

But that’s part of why I became a pony in the first place; while the thought that my friends here would accommodate me is reassuring, I didn’t want ponies to actually have to constantly pave the path I walked with ceramic tiles just so I could stay.

But I don’t want to spend this entire entry moping about that. Hello, again, whoever reads these things; it’s been a while since I did anything like this. I’m sure this entry will turn out to be very interesting.

First of all, living as a pony is hard. Some things are better than living in a pony-shaped copper tube, such as moving around. Flesh is just easier to move than metal, in case anypony was wondering. That, and I no longer make irritating clank clank clanking noises wherever I step anymore. However, some things are just… terrible. Eating, for instance. As a copper tube I had a small taste of what would be required of me as a pony, pun not intended, since I had to swallow fuel everyday to keep myself from going out, but as a pony it’s like, fifty percent worse. Not only do you have to swallow things, you have to be careful not to swallow them until you’ve chewed them into mush that won’t stick in your throat on the way down. Which, in my opinion, is just vaguely gross. My first time eating as a pony, I tried to swallow one of Pinkie’s cupcakes whole, and Applejack had to perform a heimlich maneuver to keep me from choking. I refused to eat anything but oatmeal and applesauce for a while after that.

Tasting things is new, by the way. I think Pinkie was expecting something profound from my first true taste experience, but I think it was a bit marred by almost dying. I categorically deny any allegations of looking off into the middle distance and murmuring ‘sugar’ afterward. Claims otherwise are lies and slander.

Back to living as a pony, were you aware that ponies regularly submerge themselves in water in order to get the dirt off of their coats?I mean, of course you probably did. if you’re reading this you’re literate and therefore were probably raised with it. I think I’d prefer the dirt. Of course, after a week Rarity started to notice and threatened to have the CMC ambush me with water balloons so I could get some semblance of cleanliness. I relented, but settled for going over my coat with a coarse, damp brush every other day so Rarity couldn’t find cause to complain.

Oh, and are you aware that some ponies take extra baths for fun? I learned that when Rarity and Fluttershy invited me to join them on their weekly trip to the spa; the instant I saw the tub and the mud baths I hard noped it out of there and I haven’t looked back since. From half-heard conversations and whispers I think they might be scheming to try and get me back inside sometime, but they’ll have to catch me first.

For now I’m staying in Twilight’s castle. I guess now we can call it Twilight’s old castle; y’know, the tree-like crystal one she used before moving to canterlot full-time. It’s very… empty. I think I’ll be glad when I can afford a place of my own that will feel less… hollow. Of course that’s proven tricky, since the CMC have had trouble finding me a job. That’s not for lack of ideas, mind you. The CMC have had all sorts of good concepts for jobs I could try, but… not a lot worked out. Granted, there are a lot of things I could theoretically do as well as any other pony now that I’m a unicorn, even things entirely unrelated to my new Cutie Mark, but ponyville is a bit short on jobs since there’s been a bit of an influx of immigrants to ponyville since Twilight moved out.

Not that there’s any shortage of charity from Twilight’s friends, but… that’s not really what I want. I want to be useful. I want to know that I’m not just a burden on the ponies around me.

I uh, guess that’s all I wanted to say. Now how do I turn this thing off?