The Mare Who Knew Too Little

Chapters

Strangers on a Train
The Wrong Mare
To Catch a Thief
The Cockatrices
High Anxiety
Live and Let Fly
Notorious

Strangers on a Train

“Canterbury station! Next stop, Trottingham!”

Fluttershy smiled as the train slowly screeched to a halt at the small station. Just a little while longer and she’d finally be at her destination. It wasn’t often that Fluttershy traveled away from Ponyville, and even less often that she did so by herself. But, an invitation from her friend Natural Harmony to tour the inner workings of the Trottingham Zoo had proven to be just the thing to lure Fluttershy out of the (relative) security of Ponyville.

“I think this trip is going to be exactly what I need. A nice, peaceful little vacation with no monsters or horrible villains trying to destroy Equestria. Just rest, relaxation, and plenty of rare magical creatures. I just hope Angle Bunny doesn’t mind running our Furry Friends Book Club meeting while I’m gone. Speaking of which, I should probably finish reading that myself. It’s still going to be a while before we get to Trottingham, so I’ll have plenty of time.” After taking a moment to confirm that she hadn’t packed the book in her saddlebags, Fluttershy got up out of her seat and stretched up to reach the overhead luggage racks as she poked around looking for her suitcase.

At that moment, the door to the train car burst open, and a frantic-looking unicorn stallion rushed inside. After glancing about for a few moments, the unicorn charged down the aisle, slamming into Fluttershy as he ran past with enough force to knock her back down onto her seat.

“Ow! Hey, you shouldn’t—” Fluttershy’s admonishments regarding proper train behavior ended mid-sentence as she saw that the mystery stallion had already cleared the entire length of the car and was already moving ahead to the next car down. There wasn’t much time for Fluttershy to process what had just transpired, however, as no sooner had the stallion disappeared into the next car than another pair of stallions, one pegasus and one earth pony, entered the car from the same way the unicorn had come.

“Pardon me, folks, I hate to be a bother, but did anypony see an older unicorn gent run through here?” the pegasus asked in a voice that reminded Fluttershy of Dr. Caballeron’s henchponies. While Fluttershy internally debated whether or not to say anything, a few of the other ponies in the car pointed towards the door the unicorn had run through. “Thank you. Alright, let’s go. The egghead only has so far to run, and I don’t want to risk him doing something stupid before we have a chance to ‘talk’ to him.” With a quick nod, the two ponies rushed down the length of the car after their quarry.

“I wonder what that was all about?” Fluttershy thought to herself before pushing the issue from her mind. Whatever was going on, it likely wasn’t something that she needed to get involved with. Sometimes creatures just needed room to work things out for themselves.

*********

“This is ridiculous,” Hired Muscle grunted in his thick accent as he and Strong Armer rushed through yet another passenger car. “We have gone through almost entire train.”

“That might not be such a bad thing, if you think about it,” Strong Armer replied. “If anything, I’d prefer the idiot be in the caboose or the baggage car when we catch him. Fewer witnesses that way.”

“As long as he does not jump off train first,” Hired Muscle replied before grinning evilly. “Once doctor returns sample, then he can jump off train. I will even help.”

“He might actually prefer that to what the boss has planned for him. Speaking of which, caboose or not we need to make sure we get that sample back or we’re going to be the ones getting fed to the boss’ pet.” As Strong Armer spoke, he pulled the handle on the door leading to the next car, only to find that it wouldn’t budge. “Son of a nag! He’s jammed the door shut somehow to buy himself time.”

“Trying is right. You, fly to other end of train. I will deal with door. We end this now.” Strong Armer nodded his head before taking off into the air and sailing off towards the caboose. Once his companion was airborne, Hired Muscle turned around and delivered a double-hooved buck to the door with enough force to knock it completely off its hinges. “Come out, doctor,” Hired Muscle called out as he stepped into what he saw was the train’s baggage car. “I just want to talk to you. Just give us the sample and maybe we let you go. Is good deal, yes? Is better deal than you will get from boss.” Hired Muscle’s cajoling was largely met with silence, but his trained ears picked up the squeak of the floorboards coming from further inside the car. “Aha! There you are! I am coming for you!”

As Hired Muscle charged forward, the unicorn stallion who had knocked into Fluttershy earlier frantically opened the door on the far end of the car. Shutting the door behind him, he saw to his dismay that he had reached the caboose of the train, with Hired Muscle closing in fast. With no real good option, the unicorn darted inside the caboose, closing the door behind him as he wracked his brains trying to think of what he could do next.

“Hello there. Doctor Double Helix, I presume?” The unicorn stiffened and slowly turned to see Strong Armer standing right behind him with an evil grin spread across his features. “You’ve been making this a lot harder than it needed to be, doc. But, seeing as how there’s nowhere left for you to run, why not do the smart thing and give up now? You know what we’re here for, so just hoof it over already.” As Strong Armer spoke, the door to the caboose crashed opened and Hired Muscle stormed inside. “Of course, you could keep being stubborn if you really want to. But, I really wouldn’t recommend it.”

Double Helix backed away from the pair as he took a deep breath to steel his nerves. “It…it doesn’t matter what you do to me, you’re already too late, I don’t have the sample anymore.” Hearing this, Hired Muscle let out an angry snort and started to advance on Double Helix, only for Strong Armer to stretch out a wing in front of him.

“Let’s not be too hasty, now. Remember what our priorities are here,” Strong Armer said before turning back to Double Helix. “So, you’ve already made the drop off. That’s fine, we can work with that. Just tell us where the sample is.” There was an abrupt shift in Strong Armer’s tone as he spoke, making a silent promise as to what would happen if Double Helix failed to comply.

“Oh, I’ll tell you where it is, but it won’t do you any good. I’ve already passed the sample on to La Mariposa! You’ll never track her down before she delivers it to the EID. No matter what you try and threaten me with, there’s nothing that can stop the sample from getting to the authorities.”

Strong Armer sucked in a deep breath as he tried to control his temper. “Hurting you might not get us the sample, but a bit of catharsis will make us fell much better about that.” With that, Strong Armer pulled back his wing, allowing Hired Muscle to advance. Double Helix, however, wasn’t quite finished with his bout of defiance. Letting out a sudden scream at the top of his lungs, Double Helix unleashed a bright flash of light form his horn. With Strong Armer and Hired Muscle briefly blinded, Double Helix rushed out the back of the caboose and clambered over the back railing.

“Tell Convoluted Plan I’ll see him in Tartarus!” Before either thug could recover enough to react, Double Helix leapt from the train and came crashing down into a patch of bushes near the tracks. Hired Muscle moved to chase after him, but Strong Armer quickly pulled him back.

“Don’t bother. He’s useless to us if he doesn’t have the sample anymore, and that’s assuming that last stunt didn’t kill him. Besides which, we have a bigger problem to deal with right now.”

“La Mariposa,” Hired Muscle grunted as he nodded his head. Both henchponies were well acquainted with the name of the most infamous master of disguise in the Equestrian underworld. A pony so adept at altering her appearance that there were rumors she was actually a renegade changeling. Regardless, changeling or pony, the only supposed way one could tell it was her was the butterfly motif she frequently worked into her disguises.

“Look, the train hasn’t got to the station yet. We’ll double back and see if there’s anypony on board who might be La Mariposa. Once we find her—”

“We crush her and take sample!”

“No, you idiot! It was enough of a risk chasing the doctor through the train cars, if we start a fight with somepony like La Mariposa in a crowed train we could blow the cover on everything. At that point, we may as well turn ourselves over to the EID, because whatever they’d do to us would be nothing compared to what the boss would. No, once we’ve found her we’ll follow her until she’s somewhere nice and isolated.”

“And then we crush.”

“Yes. Then we crush.”

*********

“Trottingham Station! Next stop!”

“Already? Twilight’s right, time really odes fly by when you’re reading a good book,” Fluttershy said as she slipped a bookmark into her copy of Maresfield Park. As Fluttershy opened her saddlebag to stow the book away, however, she felt something unexpected inside. “That’s odd, I don’t remember bringing anything like this with me.” The offending object turned out to be an ornate fountain pen, the body of which appeared to be made of a colorful mass of fused stained glass. “I wonder where in Equestria this came from” Fluttershy thought as she glanced around the train car to see if anypony appeared to have misplaced the pen, before finally giving up and returning it to her saddlebags and securing the butterfly-shaped latch. “I hate to think somepony lost this, but it doesn’t look like anypony here lost it. I know, it must have gotten into my saddlebags when I visited Twilight yesterday. Oh well, I’ll just give it back to her when I get back to Ponyville. I’m sure it won’t be a problem.”

The Wrong Mare

Northern Spy trotted down the halls of the Equestrian Intelligence Division’s Trottingham branch with a practiced sense of purpose. Almost everything about the brown earth pony stallion was perfectly nondescript, right down to the round, red apply of his Cutie Mark. This unremarkableness was as much careful practice and cultivation as it was a gift of birth. After all, espionage was far easier when nopony ever remember your face. While there wasn’t any particular need for Northern Spy to remain unnoticeable within the confines of the EID itself, he took a certain amount of pride in keeping his skills as sharp as possible. Thus, it was rather satisfying for him to trot all the way to the branch head’s office and not have a single pony even notice his presence until he passed by the desk of his supervisor’s secretary.

“You’re half an hour late,” File Search said, not even bothering to look up from her typing as Northern Spy passed by.

“Good afternoon to you too, File Search. You’re looking lovely as ever today,” Northern Spy replied cheerfully as he headed inside the office. For her part, File Search ignored him, in part due to hooves being incompatible with making certain gestures. Inside the office, Highly Classified, the regional director of the EID, was parked behind his desk, looking none too amused. “Hello, Classified. What seems to be the trouble this week? Have the Diamond Dogs finally decided to invade?”

“Flippant as always, I see. Tell me, Northern Spy, how much do you know about the farming business?”

“Well, not all that much, I admit,” Northern Spy replied with a shrug. “I’ve got plenty of farmer in the family, apples mostly. But I can’t say I’ve much of a green hoof myself. Why, are you looking to hire a gardener?” Highly Classified snorted in irritation as he pushed a file over to Norther Spy, who opened it to reveal a picture of an arrogant-looking middle-aged stallion.

“This is Convoluted Plan. He’s a wheat magnate, though it seems in the last few years he’s been expanding ingo sugar production as well.”

“I’d heard the grain industry could be cutthroat, but I didn’t think it was something we’d normally need to get involved in.”

“Normally we wouldn’t. However, not long ago we received a message from one of Plan’s employees, a biochemist named Double Helix.”

“A biochemist? Seems like an odd hire for a farmer, even an industrial one.”

“Officially, Convoluted Plan hired him to work on developing new strains of wheat to boost production. But, according to Double Helix, he was actually brought on to help work on some horrible plot that could destroy Equestria.”

“That could certainly explain why’d we’d get involved, assuming, of course that this Double Helix isn’t just some disgruntled crackpot. I don’t suppose he was kind enough to tell us what this horrible plot is, exactly?”

“Not in his initial communication. However, Double Helix told us he was going to turn himself in, along with proof of whatever it is Convoluted Plan was having him work on.”

“Well, it doesn’t sound like we’ll need to get involved after all. If there’s actual proof of foul play, then the guard should be able to deal with the issue themselves.”

“Yes, if we had the proof then this would be easy. Unfortunately, we found Double Helix half-dead near the train tracks leading into Trottingham this morning. He’s unconscious now, but before he passed out he told us he passed the sample off to a specialist he had hired. La Mariposa.”

“The disguise expert? I was under the impression she retired.”

“It might be a student of hers who’s taken up the mantle, or somepony completely unrelated using the name. In any event, whoever they are, they apparently have the evidence Double Helix meant to pass on to us. Your job, Northern Spy, will be to locate the mare and retrieve the evidence before Convoluted Plan can recover it himself.”

“As assignments go, it sounds straightforward enough. So, what does this mystery mare look like?”

“There’s the difficulty, I’m afraid. We don’t know.”

“What? Surely Double Helix must have seen her to pass on the evidence. Even if she has changed her appearance since the drop-off, it would still at least give me a place to start.”

“Oh, I imagine Double Helix did see her. Unfortunately, he passed out before he could give us a description, and the doctors aren’t sure when he’ll wake up. That said, we do have some information on a possible starting point for you. One of our agents spotted a pair of known mercenaries, Strong Armer and Hired Muscle, getting off Double Helix’s train at the Trottingham station.”

“And we suspect they’re current employer is Convoluted Plan? It could just be a coincidence.”

“I don’t believe in coincidences, Northern Spy, and neither should you. If Convoluted Plan knew what Double Helix was trying to do, they he’d have done just about anything to prevent that evidence from falling into our hooves. Undoubtedly, these two are already tracking down La Mariposa. For the sake of Equestria, it’s imperative that you find her first.”

*********

Brief Memo hurried through the halls of the Convoluted Combine offices, until he finally reached the imposing double doors that led into the office of the company president. Suddenly hesitating having reached his goal, Memo swallowed nervously before gently tapping his hoof against the dark wood. “Pardon me, Mister Plan, sir? I have a report from the specialists we sent to deal with the Double Helix situation.”

“Come in,” a voice from beyond the door ordered, and Brief Memo hurriedly obeyed. Inside was an opulently decorated office, filled with artifacts and pieces of art that Brief Memo suspected were each worth more than he’d likely earn in ten lifetimes. The entire back wall of the office was a single, massive window which offered a commanding view of Trottingham. Standing looking out the window with his back to Brief Memo was a dun-colored earth pony stallion dressed in a simple yet finely tailored suit. “Do you know why I love this view so much?” Convoluted Plan asked as he heard the doors close behind Brief Memo, not even bothering to turn around. “It helps remind me of how much further I can still go. How much there is out there that I still haven’t conquered. Metaphorically speaking, of course.” A moment passed in silence before Convoluted Plan looked back over his withers. “That’s enough sentimentality. You said you had an update for me?”

“Yes sir,” Brief Memo replied, swallowing nervously. “We, well, we received an…according to—”

“Brief Memo, isn’t it?” Convoluted Plan said, turning around to face Brief Memo directly. “You were brought on to our Futures division relatively recently, if I recall correctly. Let me share a bit of managerial wisdom with you. Who knows, it might come in handy for you someday when you have subordinates of your own. You should never punish an employee for doing their job correctly. Now, in your case, your job is to bring me messages in a timely and accurate manner. You’re not responsible for the content of those messages, just for making sure they get to the right pony, which in this case happens to be me. If I started throwing a fit every time I didn’t like what a message said, then pretty soon ponies would stop telling me when things were going wrong, wouldn’t they? And you just can’t wrong a business like that, if you don’t know when things are going wrong you can’t do anything to fix them. So, with all that said, what exactly do you need to tell me?”

“Double Helix was intercepted, but he passed on the sample he stole to somepony called La Mariposa,” Brief Memo quickly blurted out.

“Mmhmm. And, is that everything?”

“They said Double Helix jumped off the train after he passed on the sample, and they’re still working to track down his accomplice.”

“There, see, that wasn’t so hard, was it? Your job was to relay all that to me, which you did an admirable job of. Now then your next task will be to relay my response to the two ponies who have, apparently, not done their jobs nearly as well as you have. Please inform them that they need to rectify the situation immediately. If they do not recover that sample, I will have both fed to Charon.” Despite the friendliness never leaving his voice as he spoke, the icy rage behind Convoluted Plan’s eyes told Brief Memo that he was deadly serious.

To Catch a Thief

“You are certain that is pony we are looking for?” Hired Muscle grunted as he and Strong Armer watch Fluttershy trot into the hotel from a café across the street. “She does not seem like secret agent. More like helpless kitten.”

“One, of course she seems harmless. Think about it, La Mariposa is a master of disguise, and if half the stories I’ve heard about her are true then she’s got a body count to her name that’s bigger than both of ours combined. Anypony who’s that dangerous and has been in the game for that long has got to be good at hiding it,” Strong Armer said.

“So, the less dangerous she seems, the more dangerous she is?” Hired Muscle asked dubiously.

“Exactly. Besides, I recognize her from the train. She’d looked like she’d been shoved aside when Double Helix ran through the car. I didn’t think much about it at the time, but that must have been when the egghead made the drop.”

“And that is how you are sure this is La Mariposa,” Hired Muscle said, sounding even more skeptical than before. “Is impossible that mare with butterfly Cutie Mark happened to be on train and get pushed by professor?”

Strong Armer rolled his eyes at this. “Oh yes, a mare, who just happens to have a similar Cutie Mark as an infamous master of disguise, just happened to be on the same train as the professor, who just so happened to have hired said master of disguise. And then this random mare is shoved aside by the professor while we were chasing him just in time for us to see her. Don’t be ridiculous, this isn’t some cheap spy novel. Now, what we need to figure out is how to get that sample back before the boss starts getting impatient.”

“There is always crushing,” Hired Muscled suggested hopefully.

“I considered that, but I don’t think we should chance it, not with her staying in some fancy hotel in the middle of town. The screaming would attract too much attention. No, I think we need to do this the nice and quiet way.”

“You mean use Subtlety,” Hired Muscle snorted. “I hate using Subtlety. Is no fun.”

“It might not be the most exciting way to handle things, but it’s good for keeping a low profile. Nopony ever sees it coming, and if there were ever a time we needed a plan that was a sure thing, then this would be it.” Hired Muscle thought for a moment before grumbling something along the lines of a reluctant agreement.

“Is still boring,” Hired Muscle grunted in a dejected tone.

“I’ll take boring over risking having to deal with the boss’ pet any day, and you should, too. Remember what happened after the Istanbull incident?” Strong Armer added, causing Hired Muscle to go a little pale as he shuddered at the memory. “My thoughts exactly. So, for now, what we’re going to do is wait for nightfall. I’ve already checked the room she’s in, so I’ll fly up there once everything’s nice and dark, and then…”

*********

Sneaking up to a window without attracting any unwanted attention was always a trickier proposition than most ponies gave it credit for. Selecting the best time for the approach, for example, was a surprisingly complicated prospect. In any city of even remotely respectable size you wouldn’t be able to simply wait until dark, the streets would inevitably still be crowded until well into the evening. But, you couldn’t wait until the crowds vanished entirely, either. There was always the chance you could be spotted by a lone guard on patrol, or some wandering insomniac, and a lone pegasi trying to enter a hotel window in the middle of the night would be immediately suspicious. The trick Strong Armer preferred to use was to wait until the local salt bas closed for the night and mingle in with the drunks returning home. It would be late enough that most of the potential witnesses would be cleared from the streets, but not so late that Strong Armer couldn’t pose as an overly-inebriated guest trying to enter the wrong room should he be caught.

As luck had it, however, such precautions proved to be wholly unnecessary. The streets were completely empty as Strong Armer silently flew up to the window of Fluttershy’s hotel room, a metal box with ‘Subtlety’ written on it tucked under his foreleg. After a cursory check of the window to ensure there weren’t any jury-rigged surprises waiting for him, Strong Armer cracked the door open and pushed one end of the box inside. “Alright, Subtlety, wake up. Time to go to work,” Strong Armer whispered as he carefully opened a latch holding the end of the box closed and gingerly shook the box to dislodge its occupant. Strong Armer’s actions were met by an angry hiss as a long, dark form slithered out of the box and into the hotel room. “And that ought to take of La Mariposa just fine. All I need to do now is wait for morning and we’ll be able to get the sample back, no problem.”

*********

“—Of course, the real tricky part is making sure Subtlety’s back in its box before I toss the room, but a bit of food will lure it back easy enough. That’s why I always make sure its good and hungry before I do a job with it,” Strong Armer said as he and Hired Muscle sat back at the café the following morning.

“Snake still gives me the creeps,” Hired Muscle said as he watched the window to Fluttershy’s room. “So, when do you go to collect snake and sample?”

“Not much longer now, I’d give it another hour or so just in case it took Subtlety longer than usual,” Strong Armer said. “It’s probably already over, but you don’t want to rush things. Subtlety’s definitely done their part by now, so really its just a matter of making sure nature’s had plenty of time to run its course, if you follow me.”

“So, La Mariposa definitely would not be flying around by now?” Hired Muscle asked dubiously, to which Strong Armer snorted in derision.

“Are you kidding? Even if all she got was a tiny nip on the hoof, she won’t even be able to stand up at this point, let alone fly. She might still be able to flop around if she was bitten late, but that’s about it.”

“Then tell me, who is mare flying out of hotel window?” As Hired Muscle gestured towards Fluttershy’s room, Strong Armer let out a barely stifled cry of shock as a perfectly healthy Fluttershy exited the window before flying off down the street.

“What? How is she…darn it!” Strong Armer sputtered with a mixture of rage and disbelief.

“Am pretty sure is what I was asking,” Hired Muscle replied.

“Don’t you start with me! Alright, we can salvage this. You, follow her to make sure she isn’t off to drop the sample off someplace. While you’re doing that, I’ll sneak in and search her room. If we’re lucky she might have left the sample there.”

“You really think she would have—”

“Not. The. Time,” Strong Armer snarled through clenched teeth. “Now, hurry up after her before she gets out of sight!” Before Hired Muscle could utter a reply, Strong Armer leapt up from the table and marched across the street towards the hotel. Moving as fast as he could without risking drawing attention to himself, Strong Armer trotted across the lobby towards the stairway. While Strong Armer didn’t know the exact layout of the hotel, he knew where Fluttershy’s room was from the outside, and that was enough for him to be able to march almost straight towards it. Moving through the halls as if he belonged there, the few ponies he passed paid him no mind, and before long he was in front of Fluttershy’s door. A quick glance around to confirm nopony was watching and a swift bit of lock picking later and Strong Armer was safely inside Fluttershy’s room. There was nothing inside the room that stuck out as unusual, the only real sign that the room was even occupied being a small, open suitcase lying open on a table. “I need to be quick about this, there’s no telling when she’ll get back from wherever she was headed to. No time to be neat, I’ll just toss the room quick and be out in a minute or two,” Strong Armer muttered to himself as he made a beeline straight for the suitcase before picking it up and dumping out its contents onto the table. He scarcely even noticed the movement within the loose clothing until a loud, angry hiss assaulted his ears.

By then, however, it was already too late.

*********

“A southern Equestrian rock viper? Are you sure? Those aren’t native to anywhere even remotely near here?” Natural Harmony said as Fluttershy led her back to the hotel.

“I’m positive. I think the poor dear must have escaped from somewhere that wasn’t doing a very good job of taking care of her. She was so cold and hungry and confused when I found her, it was awful. Luckily, I had some snake treats in my luggage, and she calmed right down once she had had something to eat.”

“Well, let’s just be grateful it was your room she wound up slithering into, you’re probably one of the only ponies in Equestria who’s qualified to safely deal with a snake like that. The venom those things have is absolutely terrifying,” Natural Harmony said with a shiver. “To be honest, even I don’t like handling southern rock vipers if I can avoid it, not without a good supply of antivenom on hoof, anyway.”

“I know they can be dangerous if they’re provoked, but—”

“Fluttershy, one nip on the hoof from one of those things would be lethal unless a pony could receive a dose of antivenom within an hour or two. If somepony were bitten multiple times, or Celestia help them, anywhere near their head, then they’d probably be dead in minutes. And its not unusual at all for rock vipers to bit five or six times if they’re agitated.” Natural Harmony shuddered at the thought. “There’s a very good reason rock vipers are considered the most dangerous species in Equestria. I’d be a lot more nervous about moving this one if you weren’t here to help.”

“What’s important to me is that you’ll be able to take good care of her at the zoo,” Fluttershy replied. “And don’t worry, once we get to the hotel, I’ll handle coaxing her into the carrier so you can—oh my!” As the two ponies rounded a corner, they saw that a collection of guard wagons, along with an ambulance, had all converged in front of the hotel entrance.

“Oh no,” Natural Harmony groaned. “I think I may have spoken too soon about being grateful the snake wound up in your room. I recognize one of those wagons, it belongs to Trottingham Animal Control.”

“You don’t think something’s happened, do you?” Fluttershy gasped in horror.

“It might have. You’d better come with me, let’s try and see what’s going on. Whatever it is, if animal control is here, then we’ll probably want you help anyway.”

*********

Staying inconspicuous had never been Hired Muscle’s strong suit. Most of the jobs Hired Muscle took required him to be as large, intimidating, and conspicuous as possible, which was how he liked it. As such, to avoid notice, Hired Muscle had kept as far back from Fluttershy as he could while she flitted to the Trottingham Zoo, of all places, before trotting back towards the hotel with some earth pony in tow. Staying so far back had meant that Hired Muscle hadn’t been able to make out anything that the two mares had been saying to each other, but he considered that to be a fair trade. This desire to keep a large distance was only amplified further when the hotel came back into view and Hired Muscle saw the guards swarming all over the entrance. As such, Hired Muscle remained as far back as possible while Fluttershy and her friend approached the guards before entering the hotel itself. Several minutes passed by before several guards wheeled out a sheet-covered stretcher, which they quickly loaded into the nearby ambulance before driving off. Hired Muscle briefly considered following the ambulance to confirm his suspicions, but he quickly decided it was unnecessary. The fact that Strong Armer was nowhere to be seen told Hired Muscle everything he needed to know. Clearly, his friend’s efforts to handle things quietly had gone horribly wrong.

Now, it would be time for crushing.

*********

A few hours later at the Trottingham Morgue, Calling Hour, the mortician’s assistant, was preparing himself for a usually eventful day. Ponies didn’t often pass in ways that necessitated autopsies, and it was even rarer for such a pony to be an actual criminal. Most ponies would have said Calling Hour was rather morbid for getting excited over something like that, but, in fairness, most ponies would have called Calling Hour rather morbid regardless.

“Pardon me, I’m looking for the mortician. Is he in, by any chance?” Calling Hour paused filling out the latest set of forms from the guards as the voice of an unexpected visitor drew his attention. The visitor himself didn’t appear to be anything special, a brown-coated earth pony with a nondescript apple for a Cutie Mark, but visitors of any kind to the morgue were a rare sight. “I’m Detective Evercrisp, Trottingham Special Investigations Division. I understand you received a burglar who went through a bit of a mishap this morning?”

“A bur—oh, yes!” Calling Hour said as he recovered from his surprise. “It’s the craziest thing, apparently he had broken into a hotel room to rob the guest, but he wound up getting bitten by a snake that had found its way inside the room the night before. But, why are you looking into it? I thought the guard had already closed the investigation.”

“Yes, well, I’ve been looking into a series of burglaries in the area, and our chief suspect mysteriously went missing last night. So, if you don’t mind, I’d just like a minute to…”

“See if your missing burglar is my cadaver,” Calling Hour concluded. “Well, the head mortician, Lucky Stiff, is out right now, but I guess I can help if all you need to do is take a look for identification.” Calling Hour proceeded to lead the detective into the morgue’s examination room, where the body in question was already laid out, though mercifully covered by a sheet. “I should warn you, he’s not really a pretty sight. That snake did a real number on him. Are you ready?”

“Don’t worry about me, I’m hardly the squeamish sort,” Detective Evercrisp replied, prompting Calling Hour to pull back the sheet. While the deceased’s body had been twisted and swollen by the venom, Evercrisp was still able to immediately recognize it as the former Strong Armer.

“Well, is that your missing burglar?” Calling Hour asked.

“That’s him, I’m afraid. On the bright side, this does mean I’ll be able to close the case. Well, I’m sure you have plenty of work to do, so I’ll get out of your mane.” Before Calling Hour could respond, Detective Evercrisp, or, more accurately, Northern Spy, had already exited the room and was trotting through the halls while mentally assessing the situation. “Strong Armer wasn’t just some random thug, he had a long history of violence behind him. Not the type of stallion who could be dealt with easily, and certainly not in a manner that could be passed off as an accident. That would mean we can rule out the possibility that this new ‘La Mariposa’ is some amateur appropriating the name. What bothers me, though, is the fact that she hasn’t made any attempt to contact the EID. She could be buying time to blackmail Convoluted Plan for the evidence, or even working for a third party altogether. Whoever she is, its clear I’m dealing with one of the most ruthless, cold-blooded ponies in Equestria.”

The Cockatrices

“It w-was so h-horrible,” Fluttershy sobbed as Natural Harmony tried to comfort her friend as best she could. “I know they were a burglar, but they didn’t deserve—”

“Fluttershy, there was nothing you could have reasonably done,” Natural Harmony said. “No matter where you put that snake, if a burglar was ransacking your room, they’d have run into it eventually. It’s not like you could have put a sign up or something to warn him off, either. Odds are, that would have just gotten him to bother the snake even faster because he’d think you were hiding something.”

“I…I guess you’re right, but still…” Fluttershy sniffled as she tried to hold back another bout of sobbing.

“Hey, I know. Why don’t we head back to the zoo? WE can get your snake someplace where they won’t hurt anypony else, and I can show you some of our other exhibits? I think an afternoon of seeing a bunch of rare creatures is just what you need to take your mind off things. What do you say? I bet if we hurry, we can make it to the zoo’s nursery in time for the lunchtime feedings,” Natural Harmony added cajolingly.

“The nursery? With all the cute little baby critters getting hoof and bottle fed because they’re too tiny to feed themselves?” Fluttershy asked, perking up a bit.

“Well, I don’t know if tiny would really describe Harry, our baby rhinoceros, he’s nearly as big as you are. He still needs to be bottle fed, though…” Natural Harmony looked at Fluttershy, who’s eyes were now practically sparkling with excitement. “Alright then, let’s head out just as soon as I talk to the guard to let them know what’s going on. I’m sure they’re just as eager to get that snake someplace safe as you are.” As Natural Harmony rushed off to find the head guard, she paid little attention to the crowds of onlookers surrounding the hotel entrance trying to see what the fuss was all about. One particular onlooker, however, was paying very close attention to her as she had a hushed conversation with one of the guards.

“Son pony is headed back to zoo now?” Hired Muscle muttered to himself as he tried to parse the snippets of conversation he was able to make out. “Is good. Zoo has many good ways of cleaning up mess after smashing.”

*********

Sometime later, an extended period of cooing over the sight of small (and occasionally no so small) animals being hoof fed bits of fruit and bottles of milk seemed to have worked wonders for Fluttershy’s nerves.

“Thank you so much for that! I was just so tangled up inside, but baby critters really have a way of helping me feel like everything’s going to be alright,” Fluttershy said, her eyes still glued to a baby wombat munching on a pile of food pellets.

“Well, I’m glad to hear it. Are you sure you’re going to be alright, though?” Natural Harmony asked. “That was a really nasty scene you walked into, after all. I’d understand if you needed to cut your visit short and head back home or something.” Fluttershy immediately shuddered at her recollection of her hotel room, before quickly regaining her composure and shaking her head.

“It might be a little early for me to say that I’m over it, exactly, but I think I’ll be alright. Thinking about it, you were probably right when you said that there wasn’t anything that I could have done. These sorts of things are tragic, but that’s just how nature can be sometimes. I guess things have just gotten so peaceful in Ponyville that I’d forgotten that a little.”

“Well, if you are feeling a bit better, why don’t I show you around some of our other exhibits?” Natural Harmony said as she tried to avoid thinking too hard about Fluttershy’s use of ‘Ponyville’ and ‘peaceful’ in the same sentence. “I’d really love to get your opinion on some of the enclosures we have for the magical creatures native to the Everfree Forest. Since you basically live right next to it and all.”

“Oh, that does sound interesting. What kinds of creatures do you have here?” Fluttershy asked.

“Well, we have a full pride of manticores, they’re pretty well situated. We’ve been having a little more trouble with our timberwolves. We’re trying to introduce a new member to the pack, and that’s always a little touch and go. And, aside from those…” Natural Harmony continued to list off the magical creatures housed at the zoo as a looming figure watched her leave with Fluttershy from the corner of the room.

Strong Armer had always said the secret to stealth was to look like you belonged wherever it was you were. For a pony like Hired Muscle, who stood out almost no matter where they were, such advice was of limited utility. That said, Hired Muscle had developed his own technique when it came to infiltration jobs. He had found that if you were sufficiently large and intimidating, and otherwise avoided drawing undue attention to yourself, then ponies would very pointedly avoid noticing you. The general hope being that either you really were supposed to be wherever you were, or if you weren’t, then dealing with you would be somepony else’s problem. Thus, nopony raised any alarm when the unusually large and grumpy-looking volunteer silently followed Natural Harmony and her friend into the back hallways of the zoo.

Much to Hired Muscle’s frustration, the next hour was spent watching his targe be agonizingly close to vulnerable, without there ever being an actual opening for him to attack. Every time he thought he could approach her, some unwanted witness would come trotting out a door or around a corner. Patience had never been Hired Muscle’s strong suit, and it was only the knowledge that failure would likely be fatal that kept him from throwing caution to the wind and simply charging his quarry. Hired Muscle finally thought he saw his chance, however, when the pegasus followed her friend into a particularly large enclosure, and right as they entered, he caught an especially tantalizing bit of dialog.

“—probably the largest enclosure we have right now. We’re still letting them get comfortable, so we don’t have it open for visitors, but in the meantime, we’re trying to socialize them as much as possible…”

A nice, big enclosure with plenty of places to stash a body or two, and no pesky audience to witness anything. It was exactly wat the doctor ordered. Hired Muscle watched the two mares enter the door into the habitat and counted down from ten before following them inside. Beyond the door, Hired Muscle found himself standing in a dimly-lit, faux-pine forest. Through the fake trees, Hired Muscle could see that the far wall was a mass of curiously tinted glass, presumably to prevent the enclosure’s inhabitants from realizing they were being watched. Had Hired Muscle not overheard that the exhibit was closed the one-way glass would have unnerved him, but as it was it was just another unimportant detail he noted as he scanned the area for his targets. It didn’t take long for Hired Muscle to spot Fluttershy several yards away through the trees. Fluttershy and her friend had their backs to Hired Muscle as they bent down over whatever creature the enclosure had been built for, though between the trees and the mares Hired Muscle couldn’t quite make out what it was. Regardless, whatever the creature was was unimportant. Hired Muscle had a job to do, and he swiftly began moving towards his target with murderous intent, only to step down on a dry twig while he was still too far away to rush them. As the two mares turned around, Hired Muscle threw himself behind some nearby bushes in an effort to hide.

“Did you hear something?” Fluttershy asked as she peered into the faux woodlands of the enclosure.

“It’s probably just one of the other members of the flock lurking about, checking on what’s going on,” Natural Harmony said. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it. None of them will be aggressive as long as I’m here with you. I mean, not unless they sensed you were trying to hurt me or something, anyway.” The two friends shared a brief laugh at the absurdity of this before turning their attention back to the creature pecking the ground at their hooves.

Hired Muscle, meanwhile, began to pull himself upright once he heard Fluttershy and her friend lost interest in the unexpected noise. “Enough sneaking,” Hired Muscle thought to himself. “It would be better if I were closer, less chance of one of them making noise, but if I move quickly, I should still be able to rush them. May be messier than I would like, but is better to have this over with. I can always be finding sample after I am done, will be tricky, but is problem for future self to deal with.” Hired Muscle’s thoughts were briefly interrupted by a rustling sound coming from the bush he was hiding behind, before a chicken appeared to poke its head out mere inches away from his. The unexpected avian glared at Hired Muscle with a strangely vicious expression on its features, and for some inexplicable reason Hired Muscle found himself unable to tear his eyes ways from its gaze. As Hired Muscle felt himself fall into a deep trance, he never even noticed that the ‘chicken’s’ body was far more reptile than poultry as it slithered out from the bushes.

*********

“I just can’t believe you have a whole flock of cockatrices that are safe to handle,” Fluttershy said as she stroked the plump cockatrice hen in front of her. “I can handle the ones in the Everfree Forest alright, but I’ve never been able to get any of them to behave for anypony else.”

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call the ones we have here tame,” Natural Harmony cautioned. “It took a long time to trigger nesting instincts in Medusa here, and she keeps the rest of the flock in line enough for our keepers to maintain everything safely. That said, it really wouldn’t be good if anypony else wandered in here without an escort. We’ve actually been thinking about installing a statue or two in here just to scare off any guests who might be thinking of doing something stupid.”

“I don’t know, doesn’t that seem a little…”

“Morbid? Yeah, I know, but I’d rather spook a few ponies than risk having to try and de-stone them later…hold on, it looks like somepony may have already gone ahead and put a statue in here.” Fluttershy followed Natural Harmony’s gaze to a spot several yard back, where she could just make out the sight of grey stone poking out behind some bushes.

“You don’t think that could be…?” Fluttershy asked in horror.

“Nah, there’s no way that’s an actual petrified pony. Nopony would be back here except the other zookeepers, and I haven’t heard of anypony going missing recently. Still, we should probably take a look just to be on the safe side.” The two mares moved forward, rustling in the bushes nearby indicating the presence of several other cockatrices in the area. “Don’t worry about the rest of the flock, Medusa here is the alpha hen and none of the other cockatrices will bother us as long as she’s nearby. And…yup, definitely looks like somepony put a statue in here. It looks like a real good quality one, too.” Natural Harmony moved aside so Fluttershy could see the petrified form of Hired Muscle.

“And you’re really sure that isn’t…”

“Not a chance, there’s nopony at the zoo who looks anything like this. Plus, look at the way its posed, like the pony was trying to sneak through the forest when they ran into a cockatrice. No, somepony set this up to add ambiance to the enclosure. Now come on, I really want to hear what you have to say about our manticore cave.”

*********

“And we’ve completely lost contact with both of them?” Convoluted Plan asked as his intern stood at rigid attention in front of his desk.

“Not exactly, sir. We’ve been able to confirm through multiple sources that Strong Armer is deceased, but we haven’t been able to find Hired Muscle anywhere. It seems he vanished completely the day after Strong Armer’s passing. We can keep trying to locate him, but…” Convoluted Plan cut him off with a wave of his hoof.

“We can worry about dealing with Hired Muscle later. Our priority is retrieving the sample.”

“There is some good news on that front, sir. It appears that Strong Armer was able to identify La Mariposa prior to being killed. We can have other agents sent out to intercept her once you give the word.”

“So, Strong Armer did manage to do something right, after all,” Convoluted Plan said. “Have a message sent to this La Mariposa inviting her to that spa we have outside of the city, Gentle Seasons or whatever. Code it to make it sound like we want to talk, the usual cloak and dagger nonsense. When she gets there, make sure our agents are waiting. And, let them know there’s a five hundred-thousand-bit bonus to whoever deals with her. Permanently.”

High Anxiety

“I want to thank you again for showing me around the zoo,” Fluttershy said as she and Natural Harmony returned to her hotel. “After what happened this morning, I really needed something like that to help me calm down.”

“Honestly, Fluttershy, the advice you gave me about changing around the manticore habitat is thanks enough. Anything that keeps them from getting too aggressive is a major load off my mind. With all that said, are you sure you’re going to want to stay here after what happened? I mean, there’s a difference between not beating yourself up over it and wanting to sleep in the room where it happened.” Fluttershy blanched a bit at the thought, though she quickly recovered. “Well, if you think it’ll be too much for you, you can always stay over at my place. It’ll be a little cramped, but it beats having anxiety attacks or something.” Before Fluttershy could respond, a well-dressed stallion came rushing up to them from across the lobby.

“Pardon me, but if I’m not mistaken, you are the guest staying in room 312, correct? I’m Luxury Lodging, the manager here, and on behalf of the hotel I’d like to offer our sincerest apologies regarding the recent unpleasantness you’ve encountered. As a way of making it up to you, we’d like to offer to move you to our Princess Suite for the remainder of your stay. In addition, we would like to offer you a special invitation for a complimentary deluxe treatment at the Gentle Seasons Spa. It’s an exclusive establishment located just outside of the city. If you would like, I can arrange for a carriage to take you there.”

“Oh my goodness, that’s so generous of you,” Fluttershy said as Luxury Lodging presented her with an envelope containing a certificate along with an invitation letter describing the spa. “Although…Natural Harmony, you wouldn’t mind if I—”

“For Celestia’s sake, Fluttershy, just accept the luxury spa offer, already!” Natural Harmony said. “You deserve a bit of pampering, and besides, I’m going to be stuck working on zoo business tomorrow, anyway, so it’s not like you’d be ditching me or anything. And its not going to be the fun kind of zoo business, just a staff meeting about budgets and personnel, so you’re not going to be missing anything, either.”

“Well…alright then. I’ll head up there first thing tomorrow morning,” Fluttershy said happily.

“Splendid. I’ll see to it that all the necessary arrangements are made. In the meantime, I’ll have somepony sent up to help you move your things to your new accommodations.” Fluttershy thanked Luxury Lodging once more before happily trotting off towards the stairway, not even noticing that the invitation that had gone along with her certificate had fallen out of its envelope. One pony did notice, however, quickly moving by and snatching up the invitation without even breaking stride.

“Hmmm, looks like an old Fleming cipher, whoever wrote it must have wanted to make sure La Mariposa would be able to read what its saying,” Northern Spy muttered to himself as he quickly read through the encoded document. “It would appear Convoluted Plan wants to set up a meeting at the spa. Either he wants to try just buying the sample off La Mariposa, or he’s planning on taking it. In either case, I can’t let that meeting occur.”

*********

“Oh my, this place looks wonderful,” Fluttershy marveled as she stepped out of her carriage onto the grounds of the Gentle Seasons Spa. During her long friendship with Rarity, Fluttershy had been to all manner of spas, but Gentle Seasons was clearly in a class of its own. Gentle Seasons wasn’t so much a spa as it was a resort compound dotted with buildings that purported to offer an assortment of treatments to relax and pamper a pony in almost every manner imaginable, all the while offering an impressive view of the surrounding countryside.

Eager to get her day of pampering started, Fluttershy quickly made her way to the Spa’s main building, a brilliant white structure with a vaguely Marediterranean design. Inside, a pale-lavender earth pony mare sat behind a desk, straightening herself up as soon as Fluttershy entered.

“Greetings, and welcome to the Gentle Seasons Spa. How may I help you begin your wellness journey?”

“Oh, well, I have this certificate for a deluxe spa day,” Fluttershy began as she fished the certificate our of her saddlebags and handed it to the clerk. “I was hoping I could start with a massage, if that’s alright.” The clerk stared at the certificate for a few moments in apparent confusion before something seemed to click in her mind.

“Oh, of course, you must be the VIP from the hotel we were told to expect. Well, we’ll make certain that your experience today is one that you won’t soon forget. Now, for your massage, might I recommend one of our special aromatherapy massages? It combines a relaxing deep tissue massage with special essential oils to maximize the therapeutic effect.”

“Oh, that sounds just lovely!” Fluttershy exclaimed happily.

“Excellent. If you make your way down to building C, room six, I’ll send a message ahead to let the masseuse know to expect you.” After providing a brief set of directions, the clerk watched Fluttershy happily trot out of the lobby. Once Fluttershy had disappeared from view, the clerk ducked down and pulled out a small, glowing crystal. “Alright, Moonflower, the mare you told me about is headed your way right now for a ‘massage’. Just remember, you promised me a ten percent cut if I sent her over to you first.”

*********

Moonflower carefully levitated the vial of thick, crimson liquid into the oi diffuser, taking special pains to avoid any chance of touching the liquid directly. While the mask she wore (hidden behind a veil she wore as part of a Saddle Arabian-esque costume) protected her from the fumes released by the diffuser, the oil was quite potent if absorbed through the skin as well. A few errant drops would be all it took to render a pony unconscious for hours, a fact Moonflower had taken advantage of several times in the past. The diffuser would take a bit longer, but the onset would be subtle enough that even ponies trained to recognize when they’d been drugged could easily miss the creeping drowsiness until it was too late.

Meme moments after Moonflower stashed away the empty vial, the door to her appropriated room opened and a yellow pegasi mare trotted in. “Hello there, I’m here for the special aromatherapy massage.”

“Ah, yes, please come in,” Moonflower said in a practiced, slightly sultry tone. “If you could leave your saddlebags by the door and come up on the table, I will get everything ready for you.” As Fluttershy obediently climbed onto the massage table, Moonflower began lighting candles under the room’s various diffusers in a somewhat theatrical fashion, trying to keep Fluttershy’s attention from lingering on the diffuser she had spiked with her drug. “There now, take a few deep breaths and allow the fragrances to work their magic. Let the scents wash over and through you and carry away all the stress you’re holding. Just close your eyes…and relax.”

Fluttershy indeed closed her eyes as the scented vapors let off by the various diffusers engulfed her senses. But, just as her body started to relax, Fluttershy’s nose picked up one scent in particular that caused her eyes to immediately snap open in alarm. “Oh no! Is that—"

*********

“Sandalwood? You can’t get Fluttershy a sandalwood scented candle!” Rainbow Dash yelled in alarm.

“Whyever not?” Rarity asked as she held the candle in her magical aura. “Admittedly, Fluttershy does seem to usually prefer floral scents, but sandalwood is a perfectly nice scent as well, and its good to mix things up a bit from time to time.”

“You mean you don’t know? Alright, I’ll tell you, but you didn’t hear any of this from me, alright?” As an increasingly confused Rarity nodded her head, Rainbow Dash moved in closer and brought her voice down to a conspiratorial whisper. “Okay, it happened back when Fluttershy was still living with her parents back in Cloudsdale. One day, Fluttershy realized that Zephyr had ‘borrowed’…actually, I forget what it was exactly, but that’s not really the important part. The thing is, Zephyr helped himself to something of Fluttershy’s, and when she busted into his room to confront him, she walked in on him…well…while he was unsheathed.” Rainbow Dash shuddered at the thought.

“Oh dear Celestia,” Rarity yelped, retching a little as she did so. “But, as traumatically unpleasant as that is, or was, I still don’t quite see what any of it has to do with Fluttershy not approving of the smell of sandalwood.”

“Well, the thing is, Zephyr was really into incense back then, so his room completely reeked—”

“Of sandalwood,” Rarity said, wrinkling her nose in disgust. “What a horrid image to associate a smell with.”

“Tell me about it. Any time Fluttershy gets a good whiff of the stuff, she goes nuts and starts retching like crazy.”

*********

Fluttershy leapt up from the massage table in a blind panic, sending a startled Moonflower stumbling backwards into the collection of candles and diffusers she had set up. As Moonflower came crashing to the ground amid an assortment of candleholders and bowls of scented oil, she could only watch as her target grabbed her saddlebags and dashed out of the room at top speed.

“What? How did she know what was going on? There’s no way she could have recognized she was being drugged that quickly, it wouldn’t have even had time to take effect yet. The only other explanation would be she picked out the smell, but with all the aromatherapy garbage in here that shouldn’t be possible! Who in Celestia’s name is that mare?” Moonflower tried to stand back up so she could chase after her quarry and salvage at least some of the fiasco, but her legs refused to cooperate. As Moonflower’s legs crumpled underneath her, she finally noticed the numbing chill slowing creeping up them. “No…the drug in the diffuser…it must have splashed on me when I fell over…ngh.” Moonflower grunted before finally passing out and collapsing to the floor. As she did so, her body knocked over one final candle, which rolled over towards some of the curtains Moonflower had hung to give the room an extra bit of ambiance. The rather flammable curtains…

*********

“One of these days I need to ask Twilight if she knows a spell that can permanently get rid of a memory, or at least blur out parts of it,” Fluttershy said with a shudder as she mentally beat the emotionally scarring image back into the depts of her subconscious. “Though, that might be more of a Starlight-type spell. Anyway, I think I need to find some other way to relax, I don’t think aromatherapy is going to work for me.” Pondering her next option, Fluttershy consulted a pamphlet she had picked up in the lobby which provided a list of the various services offered at the spa, along with a helpful made of the facility. “Maybe I should try a nice steam bath, I always feel relaxed after I go to the one at the Ponyville Day Spa. Plus, it looks like the building with the steam rooms is nearby.” Her course of action decided upon, Fluttershy quickly began making her way towards the building that housed the spa’s steam baths, blissfully unaware of the pony shadowing her.

“Yeah, she just bolted out of the massage building, that idiot Moonflower must have laid it on too thick with her exotic masseuse act and tipped her off. Anyway, it looks like she’s headed straight for the bath complex, so be ready for her. And don’t take any chances, either. She may not look tough, but that mare still managed to take out Hired Muscle somehow.”

It didn’t take Fluttershy long to reach the area of the Gentle Seasons Spa dedicated to baths, be they water, steam, or even more exotic substances. Unlike the lobby, this building lacked a proper clerk, but a series of signs clearly directed Fluttershy towards the steam room area. As befitting a spa complex the size of Gentle Seasons, the steam bath area sported at least a dozen individual steam rooms, compared to the single room of Ponyville Day spa. What the Ponyville spa and Gentle Seasons seemed to have in common, however, was their steam room’s popularity, as nearly every room’s door was shut and indicated that it was occupied. In fact, there seemed to be only a single room left available, one all the way at the far end of the hallway.

“Is she coming or what?” Cheap Shot whispered as he and his partner pressed themselves against the steam room walls on either side of the door.

“Quiet,” Sneak Attack hissed through gritted teeth. Concerns about being overheard prevented Sneak Attack from reminding his partner that they had already made it look like all the other rooms were occupied, ensuring that their target would come to this one. They had even chased away the spa janitor to ensure that there would be no potential interruptions. All they had to do was keep quiet to avoid alerting their quarry until she stepped into their trap.

As it turned out, however, there was still one factor that they hadn’t planned for.

“Why, hello there,” Fluttershy said as a flash of movement near the janitorial cart caught her eye. Crouching down, Fluttershy found a small newt hiding underneath the cart. “Don’t worry, little friend, I’m not going to hurt you,” Fluttershy said as she held still and allowed the newt to calm itself a little. “Let me guess, you wandered in here because it was nice and warm and humid, but now you’re hungry and can’t find your way back out, is that it? Well, I can help you get outside, if you like.” The newt responded by cautiously climbing out from under the janitorial cart to Fluttershy’s hoof, at which point Fluttershy transferred the small amphibian onto her head for safe transport. “I can take a steam bath later, helping a critter in need is much more important,” Fluttershy said to herself as she turned to exit the steam bath area the way she came. As she turned, however, Fluttershy accidently bumped into the cart, causing it to roll over into the controls for the steam room Sneak Attack and Cheap Shot were hiding in. At the same time, a mop balance next to the cart fell over, landing onto the handle of the steam room door and wedging the end of its handle on a nearby pipe, effectively barring the door shut.

“Hey, is it just me or is it starting to get hot in here?” Cheap Shot whispered as beads of sweat began rolling down his face.

“Would you be quiet?” Sneak Attack hissed angrily. “She’ll hear you.”

“Are you sure she’s even coming? She should have been here by now, shouldn’t she?” Cheap Shot asked. As Cheap shout’s question sunk in, Sneak Attack snarled under his breath.

“She must have heard you yammering and run off. Come on, we’ll have to go after her and do this the hard way.” As Sneak Attack spoke, he attempted to open the door to leave, only to find that it seemed to be stuck. “What the – this door will barely budge!”

“Come on, Sneak, if we’re going then hurry up and open the door already. I’m sweating like crazy in here.”

“I’m trying, but something’s holding the door shut!” Sneak Attack growled as he continued his assault on the door. The exertion quickly drained him, however, and he was soon left panting as he wiped the sweat pouring form his brow. “Why the hay is it so hot in here? I feel like I’m in the jungle or something.”

“I dunno, I mean, it is a steam room, right?”

“I know that, idiot, but it’s not like we had…the steam running…” Sneak Attack looked up to the vents in the room’s ceiling, which were disgorging clouds of hot steam into the room. “She didn’t just turn around,” Sneak Attack said, as much to himself as anypony else.

“Huh? What’re you talking about?”

“Our target, she didn’t just turn around and leave. She barred the door somehow so we can’t get out and set the steam to run at full blast!” As the full seriousness of the situation slowly sank in, both stallions began frantically pounding at the door in an effort to escape while shouting for help. Unfortunately for them, their previous efforts to ensure nopony would interfere with their attack now meant that there was nopony to hear their cries for help. Worse still, another crisis was already underway at the spa that would ensure nopony would be available to help them any time soon.

*********

Northern Spy frowned as he arrived at the entrance of the Gentle Springs Spa complex. Arranging a way to reach the spa had taken much longer than he had expected, meaning he had lost track of La Mariposa.

“And finding a single pony in a complex this size is going to be like looking for a needle in a haystack,” Norther Spy thought to himself. At that moment, however, fire alarms began ringing out, shattering the peaceful atmosphere of the spa. “Grandfather always did say the fastest way to find a needle in a haystack was to burn down the haystack. So, let’s see what turns up if we sift through the metaphorical ashes.” As ponies began pouring out of the spa buildings, many clearly having been interrupted in some treatment or other, Northern Spy scanned the crowds for any tell tale signs of those who had been expecting trouble. Sure enough, amid the sea of confused faces there were quite a few, among both guests and staff, who seemed concerned by the fire but not especially surprised. After a moment, Northern Spy picked out one face in particular that he recognized, an earth pony stallion who was helpfully trying to sneak away from the crowds towards the back of a nearby building. Northern Spy calmly wound his way through the crowds following his new target, until he finally caught up to him near some dumpsters.

“Well well well, working at a spa now, Lickspittle? That certainly seems a step up from…who was it that you were working for last time we met? Doctor World Conquest, if I’m not mistaken,” Northern Spy said in a cheerful tone as he slammed a hoof into the wall next to the quaking stallion’s head. “And, it’s the funniest thing, but I’ve noticed a quite a number of other familiar faces since I arrived here, and none of them seem interested in me for a change.” As Northern Spy continued, the friendliness left his tone as he brought his voice down to a harsh whisper. “So, why don’t you be a good little colt and tell me what Convoluted Plan has you all doing here.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re…” Lickspittle started to whimper before quickly withering under Northern Spy’s gaze. “Alright, he – I mean, we’re – there’s this mare. He wants us, or, somepony, to, you know, deal with her. I don’t know the specifics, but he put a huge price on her head.”

“There now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Northern Spy said as he gave Lickspittle a pat on the head, while simultaneously activating his stun watch to render the unfortunate stallion unconscious. “There, it would probably be for the best if you stayed put for the time being. And as for Miss La Mariposa, if that fire alarm is any indication, then it would seem Convoluted Plan’s minions are completely out of their depth. Not really all that surprising, given how easily she dealt with the last two he sent after her. Still, I need to find her and bring her in before things get any more out of hoof.”

*********

“Oh dear, I hope this isn’t something serious,” Fluttershy said as she tried to keep from getting pulled into the milling crowds. It was just her luck that the moment she got the wayward newt someplace safe that the spa’s fire alarm went off. “Maybe I should just call it a day. I don’t know that I’m going to be able to relax at all at this point, and spa days are never quite as nice without a friend. I could just go back to the hotel…or a park! I could find a nice park and do some reading with the local critters! Now, if I can just find a taxi to take me back to the city before anything else happens.” Unfortunately, a quick scan of the front of the spa revealed that most of the carts there were already mobbed by spa patrons seeking to escape the chaos. There were, however, several carriages lined up further away, so Fluttershy made a beeline towards one of them before they could be claimed as well.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Fluttershy, the two stallions harnessed to the carriage were engrossed in conversation.

“Yeah, see, this whole mess is why I just signed up to pull one of these getaway carriages. No risking my life against some mercenary super spy, just stand around and collect a nice fat paycheck when the job’s done.”

“I dunno, mate, I wouldn’t call this a fat paycheck, not compared to what they’re payin’ the lucky stiff who drops the target.”

“Maybe so, but the thing is, they actually have to drop the target first, and not get taken out in the process. This ain’t some little harmless filly we’re talkin’ about, she took out Strong Armer and Hired Muscle. And, between you and me, I heard they didn’t go nice and neat, either.”

“I heard about Strong Armer, but I thought Hired Muscle just went missin’?”

“Come on, colt, use yer head. A stallion like Hired Muscle, vanishin’ without a word and no trace of him anyplace? Mark my words, that one’s deader than a breezie in Tartarus. Anyway, I’m sure as hay not gonna try tanglin’ with a pony who could pull that off, no matter how many bits Convoluted wants to toss at me.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Heh, it’d still be nice to get that reward, though.”

“Okay, I’ll grant you that that’d be a nice pile of bits to have. But, the only way ponies like us would ever get our hooves on it would be if the mare walked up to us and got in our carriage on her own, and the odds of somethin’ like that happenin’—”

“Excuse me, I hate to be a bother, but is this carriage available?” Both stallions turned to stare dumbstruck at the sight of Fluttershy standing next to them. “I was really hoping I could get a ride to a park, if that wouldn’t be any trouble.”

“Uh…sure?” one of the stallions said, causing Fluttershy’s face to light up.

“Really, you can? Oh, that’s wonderful!” Fluttershy exclaimed as she climbed into the carriage. “I don’t suppose you know of any particularly good parks in the city, preferably one with plenty of critters? I’m not really familiar with Trottingham.”

The two stallions looked at each other as they tried to decide if this was some kind of trick before simply shrugging. “Don’t worry, miss. We’ll get you to exactly where you need to go.”

Live and Let Fly

Convoluted Plan smiled to himself as he watched the unconscious mare strapped to a seat at his dining table. He was still amazed that his henchponies had been able to capture La Mariposa alive, especially in light of the death and destruction she had wrought at the spa. Still, Convoluted Plan hadn’t gotten to his position by passing up opportunities when they presented themselves, and the chance to recruit La Mariposa was a rare opportunity indeed. If nothing else, Convoluted Plan had several new vacancies in his organization that needed to be filled.

“Uh…what happened?” La Mariposa groaned as she started to regain consciousness. “I was in the carriage, but then it started to fill up with some sort of green gas, and I…I think I fell asleep.”

“Ah, Miss Mariposa, I’m so glad you’re finally awake. I apologize for not extending a more conventional invitation, but I couldn’t be sure you’d accept,” Convoluted Plan chuckled at his own joke as he watched La Mariposa’s reaction carefully. It became quickly apparent to Convoluted Plan that La Mariposa was not only a lethal adversary, but also an excellent actress. From the reports he had received, Convoluted Plan knew for a fact that the mare in front of him was one of the most ruthless killers Equestria had ever seen. Yet, just looking at her, Convoluted Plan could have sworn she was a totally harmless innocent. “If you don’t mind, you can dispense with the façade. I’m fully aware of who you are and what you’ve been up to.” When this failed to elicit anything more than a confused, blank stare, Convoluted Plan let out a resigned sigh. “She must be one of those method actors I’ve read about,” Convoluted Plan thought to himself. “Still, even if she wants to be difficult about it, I’m not about to pass up a chance to explain my brilliance to somepony capable of actually appreciating it.” Dramatically clearing his throat, Convoluted Plan stood up from the table and began pacing about the room. “Why don’t I start from the beginning? I’m certain you must be wondering what all of this is about?”

La Mariposa glanced around the room before nodding her head in affirmation.

“Allow me to enlighten you, then. As you are no doubt already aware, baked goods form the foundation of Equestrian cuisine. Even in the furthest flung corners of the nation, baked goods make up a key portion of everyponies’ diet, from the lowliest farmpony to Princess Celestia herself. And what, I ask you, goes into nearly every baked good imaginable?”

“Umm…”

“Flour and sugar!” Convoluted Plan said. “Now, I’ve spent the last several years expanding my farming conglomerate, and I already control a significant portion of Equestria’s wheat and sugarcane production. But, what if I controlled all of it? What if Convoluted Combine was the only source of flour and sugar in Equestria? I would effectively be in control of Equestria’s primary source of food, a kind of power that not even Princess Celestia has ever wielded before!” Convoluted Plot paused as La Mariposa cleared her throat, and he could guess what she was thinking behind her mask of utter non-comprehension. “Of course, achieving a monopoly like that through traditional means simply isn’t feasible. That’s where our dear friend Double Helix came in. You see, I had Double Helix develop a rather singular compound which acts as an incredibly powerful lure to a little creature known as locusta migratoria.”

“The migratory locust,” La Mariposa said, almost reflexively.

“Very good, I see you know your insects. When a locust smells this compound, and they can sense it from quite a few miles away, they’re not only drawn to it but they also have their swarming instinct triggered. So, if somepony were to aerosolize a dose of this compound and spread it over, say, one of my competitor’s wheat fields, then very soon there wouldn’t be a competing wheat field. Production of the compound is already set, my agents are in place to distribute it, the only thing that could stop me now is if somepony were to provide the EID with evidence of my plans. Evidence, for example, like a sample of the compound Double Helix made for me. Now, above all else, Miss Mariposa, I am a businesspony, and I much prefer to handle these sorts of situations in a civilized manner if possible. So, I’m willing to overlook our issues up until this point and offer you half-again whatever Double Helix was paying you for a return of the sample, plus a very comfortable position within my organization. What do you have to say to that?”

Before La Mariposa could respond, a loud crash rang out as a brown earth pony tumbled down from a ceiling vent onto the floor. “Sorry to drop in uninvited. I hope I’m not interrupting anything too important.”

Convoluted Plan bristled as he sucked in a deep breath through tightly clenched teeth. “Not at all, Mister…Norther Spy, if I’m not mistaken. In fact, I’d say your arrival is quite timely. Miss Mariposa? You may consider my offer rescinded.” As Convoluted Plan spoke, he moved his hoof under the table and pressed a hidden switch, which sent the chair La Mariposa was strapped to, and her along with it, plummeting down a chute. “I thought it was strange we were able to capture La Mariposa so easily, but now it makes perfect sense. The plan all along was for her to bait me into explaining my plans while you listened. Clever, but now that she’s being taken care of by Charon I believe you and I are going to have a long chat about barging in to ponies’ homes unannounced.”

“Seems like it would be a bit of a boring conversation, to be honest,” Northern Spy said.

“Oh, quite to the contrary,” Convoluted Plan said. “I can assure you, you’re going to find the subject excruciatingly stimulating.”

*********

Fluttershy fell for what felt like quite a distance, until she came to a rather painful landing in a particularly large, dimly lit underground chamber. The only positive was that her chair took the brunt of the impact, breaking apart and freeing her as it did so.

“I really wish somepony would explain to me what’s going on,” Fluttershy said as she pulled herself to her hooves. “It sounded as though that stallion had me confused for this ‘La Mariposa’ pony, and whatever this is all about doesn’t seem like anything I’d want to be involved in. It’s a pity Applejack isn’t here, it sounded as though he was talking about farm business, so she could have explained what it all meant. Oh well, for now I just hope I can find somepony who’ll listen to me and I can get all this straightened…out…” Fluttershy let out a high-pitched squeak of alarm as a loud rumbling growl echoed throughout the chamber. As Fluttershy’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw a massive form shift and uncurl, revealing itself to be a gigantic, six-legged lizard-like creature that fixed her with a baleful gaze. “A basilisk!” Fluttershy gasped, though not in fear but rather excitement. It was a rare treat for Fluttershy to encounter a creature she had never seen before, and basilisks tended to dwell far south of the Everfree Forrest. “Hello there, what’s your name? I’m Fluttershy,” Fluttershy said as she flitted up to introduce herself, taking care to avoid meeting the creature’s gaze.

The basilisk, not at all used to this sort of reaction, issued a guttural hiss as it tried to decide if it was addressing a guest or a meal.

“Charon? That’s a nice name. What are you doing down here in the dark? I thought basilisks lived much further to the south.” A Charon proceeded to reply with a series of snarls that caused Fluttershy to recoil in horror. “So, they just leave you down here all the time? That’s awful, this isn’t a remotely appropriate enclosure for a basilisk. They’re clearly not taking proper care of you at all here. And, I wasn’t going to say anything, but it doesn’t look like they’re feeding you properly, either. Why, I’m going to march right back up there and demand that you be given a proper habitat right away! Um, I don’t suppose you know where the exit is?” Fluttershy added, her righteous indignation giving way to practical concerns.

In response to Fluttershy’s question, a bemused Charon flicked its tail towards a massive set of double doors in the far wall.

“Thank you! I promise I’ll be right back as soon as I can!” Fluttershy said. Approaching the doors, however, it quickly became apparent that they weren’t going to be a viable option to escape. The doors were sized for a basilisk, far too large for a single pony to open, and moreover were sealed shut. Fortunately, there did appear to be a pony-sized exit as well, though even that presented an issue. “I can seem to get this door open, I think it must be locked. Pardon me, Mister Charon? I hate to be a bother, but—” Before Fluttershy could even finish her sentence, Charon slammed its meaty tail into the door with enough force to send it clattering down the hallway on the other side. “Thank you! And, like I promised, I’m going to get you out of here as soon as I can. In fact,” Fluttershy added as she poked her head out into the hallway. “I think I see a way to get those bigger doors open from here.”

*********

“Well, today certainly could have gone better,” Convoluted Plan grumbled as he left Northern Spy with his interrogator. There was no real need for him to remain to watch the proceedings, Femme Fatale was one of Convoluted Plan’s best agents, so Northern Spy had no hope of escape. Plus, violence had always made Convoluted Plan queasy, hence his preferred method of disposing of his enemies. “I suppose by now Charon’s ensured there isn’t anything left of La Mariposa to question. If we’re lucky, she had the sample in the saddlebags she had on her when we caught her. Otherwise, we’ll be stuck scouring the city to find it. Where did we stash her bags, anyway?”

“We were somewhat concerned that the bags might have been trapped, so we placed them in the secure storage room near the entrance to Charon’s enclosure,” Red Shirt, Convoluted Plan’s assistant, replied. “I’ll have a team go in and check it for dangers and assess the contents.”

“Excellent. With any luck, we’ll be able to get our operation back on track by the end of the—” Convoluted Plan was abruptly interrupted by the screaming of klaxon alarms while the lights in the hallway began flashing red. “What in Celestia’s name is going on now?” As if on cue, a pair of guards came rushing down the hallway in an apparent panic.

“Sir, we have an emergency situation,” one of the guards said. “Charon has broken out of his enclosure and is going on a rampage throughout the lower levels of the facility.”

“What? Impossible!” Convoluted Plan yelled. “There’s no way Charon could have gotten loose, the main doors in that enclosure should be strong enough to keep a grown dragon contained. The only way he could have gotten loose if if…no. She couldn’t have…”

“Sir, who are you talking about?” Red Shirt asked.

“La Mariposa! Who else? She must have escaped the enclosure somehow and set Charon loose! Dear Celestia, I knew that harmless innocent routine was just an act, but just how ruthless is that mare? There’s no telling how much damage Charon is going to do now that he’s out. What I don’t understand is why, though? If she could escape the enclosure, then why alert us to it by letting Charon loose…the saddlebags! You said the area you placed them in was near Charon’s enclosure, right? She must have opened Charon’s enclosure to provide a distraction for the guards so she could retrieve the bags!”

“But why would—” one of the guards started to ask before Convoluted Plan quickly cut him off.

“The sample, obviously! La Mariposa must have kept the sample in the bags, she probably wanted to keep it close in case she needed a bargaining chip!” Convoluted Plan grabbed the closer of the two guards. “Send everypony we have down to the storage vault immediately! Whatever you do, do not let that mare get her hooves on those saddlebags!” Convoluted Plan was left breathing heavily as he struggled to maintain his composure. “The only positive here is that basement level of this compound is practically a maze. I doubt La Mariposa will even be able to find the storage room on her own, let alone find the saddlebags.”

*********

“There my saddlebags are. Thank you for helping me find them.” Fluttershy said sweetly to the visibly shaking guard. It was somewhat frustrating that Fluttershy hadn’t been able to find anypony that she could lodge a complaint with about Charon’s poor treatment, but finding a guard who was able to show her where her saddlebags had been taken did mollify her somewhat. “And you’re sure you’ll be ablet o pass on my message about establishing a proper habitat for Charon? Basilisks aren’t nearly as dangerous as many ponies think as long as they’re properly fed, but it’s very important that they be provided with the right living space. They need plenty of light and heat, controlled humidity, and you definitely need to provide them with stimulation, otherwise—” The building shook slightly as Charon let out a roar. “Otherwise, they can get a bit rambunctious.”

“I’ll be sure to let my supervisors know, you have my word,” the guard said as he shrank back into the corner of the storage vault.

“That’s wonderful to hear,” Fluttershy said with a warm smile. “And I am sorry if Charon scared you earlier, he really is a sweetheart once you get to know him, but being kept in that room wasn’t good for his temperament. Now that that’s settled, I just need to find my way out of here. I hate to keep being a bother, but could you tell me where the exit is?”

“Sure, just take a left out of the room, that should take you to the main hallway. From there you’d want to hang a right and keep going until you reach the central stairwell and from there—"

“Oh my, could you hold on for just one moment? I think I might want to write this down,” Fluttershy said as she fished a small notepad from her saddlebags, along with the fountain pen she had found on the train. As Fluttershy uncapped the pen, however, another Charon-instigated tremor caused it to slip from her feathers. Before either pony had time to react, the pen rolled across the floor and under a shelf, where it disappeared into a hole in the floor. “Oh no! Twilight’s pen!” Fluttershy cried out. “Oh, I really hope that pen wasn’t special or anything.”

*********

The hole that the fountain pen had rolled into was, in fact, a waste disposal chute, a singular feature of Convoluted Plan’s base intended to assist his janitorial staff with keeping the complex tidy. Garbage swept into the chute was delivered to an industrial shredding system before being taken to an incinerator that disposed of mundane and incriminating materials with equal ease. The pen began its trip through the system rolling down an angled chute until it reached a conveyer belt, which swiftly carried it to the shredding room, where the shredder quickly reduced it to tiny fragments of glass and metal. In the process of pulverizing the pen, the sample of the locust lure it contained was unleashed, thoroughly coating the inside of the shredder.

What few ponies realized, aside from Double Helix himself, was that the compound was so potent and concentrated that the small dose stored within the pen would have been sufficient to cover one hundred acres when properly aerosolized. Now, said dose coated the machines at the heart of Convoluted Plan’s base, and the vapors given off by the compound were soon carried to the surface by the base’s ventilation system. Few ponies would be overly bothered by the sickly-sweet smell, most wouldn’t even be pick it out from the smell of the garbage system’s usual odors.

What would soon be an issue, however, would be the creatures that could smell it.

*********

“Today has just been utterly full of disappointments,” Convoluted Plan growled as he and several of his guards cornered Northern Spy and Femme Fatale, the lithe mare hanging off Northern Spy’s neck. “I don’t ask for much from my employees, I really don’t. And yet, all I have gotten over the last several days is an unending stream of incompetence and betrayal. It’s the latter that really hurts, by the way.”

“Sir, I—” Femme Fatale began, only to be quickly cut off.

“I don’t want to hear it! You’ve made your decision, and now you’ll just have to live with it. If it makes you feel any better, though, you likely won’t have to live with it for very long.” Convoluted Plan let out sigh of exasperation before continuing. “In the end, you’re just one more vacancy I’ll need to have Pony Resources fill. I swear, all this stress is giving me tinnitus, my head feels like I have a hornet’s nest in there.” Even as Convoluted Plan spoke, however, several of his guards and even Femme Fatale and Northern Spy began flicking their ears as an ominous buzz filled the air. “What is that? It almost sounds like…oh, no. No, no this cannot be happening!” To Convoluted Plan’s horror, what appeared to be a massive, dark cloud had formed on the horizon and was rapidly closing in on his compound. As the cloud drew closer, it became apparent that the ‘cloud’ was actually a titanic swarm of thousands of locusts. Cries of panic soon could be heard throughout the compound as the ravenous insects descended and began devouring everything they could. “How? How did – that filthy nag! She’s using the sample to destroy the entire compound, why didn’t I see it earlier? Now it all makes sense, she had this all planned out from the start. But I’ll have the last laugh. Once I’ve dealt with the two of you, I’ll hunt her down and I’ll make her wish she had let Charon eat – what are you all staring at?” While Convoluted Plan had ranted, the expressions on Northern Spy’s and Femme Fatale’s faces had become masks of horror, and it finally dawned on Convoluted Plan that his wrath wasn’t the source of their concern. This realization was furthered as an ominous shadow fell over the group. Looking up, Convoluted Plan found himself staring directly into the vengeful eyes of his ‘pet’ basilisk.

The one positive of the situation was that Convoluted Plan wouldn’t have to dwell on this final misfortune for very long at all.

*********

“I really hope Charon’s going to be alright,” Fluttershy said to herself as she glanced back at the compound, which was now obscured by massive clouds of locusts. “Anypony who’d keep a basilisk in an enclosure like that really has no business trying to keep an exotic pet. Still, they must have had at least some kind of bond, otherwise why would Charon by so insistent on staying behind to say goodbye?” Shrugging, Fluttershy took to the air and decided to put the whole, bizarre encounter behind her.

Notorious

“My word, devoured by his own basilisk?” Highly Classified said as Northern Spy finished recounting the circumstances surrounding the destruction of Convoluted Plan’s base.

“In a single bite, no less. Honestly, I feel sorry for the poor creature. The basilisk, I mean. Eating somepony that unpleasant is bound to give it indigestion. Or gas, at the very least, given how full of hot air he was.”

“Normally, I’d say making light of a pony’s rather gruesome death is in poor taste. But, in light of the fact that the stallion in question was attempting to seize control of Equestria’s food supply, I think I can overlook it this time. Now the, there is still the matter of our mysterious mercenary.”

“La Mariposa? As far as I can tell, she slipped out in all the chaos. It doesn’t even look like she helped herself to Convoluted Plan’s private vault on the way out. We found one guard who verified that La Mariposa was the one who released the basilisk, and according to him she had it under control somehow. But, as to where she went afterwards…” Northern Spy simply shrugged.

“I can’t say I’m all that happy about having a pony like that on the loose and us not having the foggiest where she is. What would you say to having a team put together to track this may of mystery down?”

“To be frank, I’d say it would be a bit like sending a herd of foals into the Everfree Forest look for an Ursa Major. If they’re very lucky, it would all be a colossal waste of time for everypony involved. If not…this is a mare who cut a swath of death and destruction through multiple teams of assassins before infiltrating and destroying a heavily guarded compound alone and unarmed. Quite frankly, I think we should just thank Celestia she seems to be on our side.”

“Well, I can see where you’re coming from. But, major incidents always seem to cause more issues further down the line. I just shudder to think about what the fallout for a mess like this will look like.”

*********

In the wake of the locust swarms, escaped basilisk and general affiliated mayhem, the late Convoluted Plan’s compound had been left a complete wreck. Curious journalists were told that Convoluted Plan had been involved in illegally keeping magical beasts as pets, and a series of cascading enclosure failures had led to his untimely demise, along with the destruction of his home.

The best lies always did have an element of truth to them, after all.

Now, the ruins of the compound were filled with teams of police ponies, overseen by a hooffull of well-dressed mares and stallions that everypony seemed to pointedly pretend not to notice. This suited these ponies just fine, and with each of them trying to out nondescript the other, nopony seemed to notice one particular mare with a chrysalis Cutie Mark. The mare did little to interact with anypony, which suited the police ponies just fine; it had been stressed to them that it was in their best interests to avoid asking too many questions and to leave their mysterious overseers be. Eventually, the nameless mare seemed to have whatever answers she was looking for and left the site without saying a word. It was only when the mare was some distance from the site that she allowed herself to relax.

“I knew bailing on that job was a good idea, ‘just a simple delivery’ my plot! Funny how Double Helix left out the part where I’d be crossing Convoluted Plan bad enough for him to have his entire organization out for blood. Normally, I’d just say arrow dodged and move on, but…” the mare tapped her hoof irritably. “Who the hay went in there impersonating me? I wouldn’t mind the boost to my reputation, but all that destruction? And not asking for a single bit extra? That’s the sort of thing that sets very unreasonable expectations for my clients. I’ve got to find this psycho and fast, otherwise things could get really messy. I just really don’t want to think about what kind of messed up nonsense a pony like that gets up to when she isn’t on the clock.”

*********

“More tea, Discord?”

“Thank you, Fluttershy. Now, tell me happened after you extricated yourself from your little case of mistaken identity.”

“Oh, well, luckily I was able to see Trottingham from there, so I was able to fly back on my own. It was a little far, but I still made it back to my hotel before it got dark. The next day, I went back to see Natural Harmony to let her know about Charon so she could see about getting him a proper home, and after that I took a train back to Ponyville. And, to be honest, I’m really glad to be back home. As nice as it was to have a change of scenery, I think I much prefer being here at home.” Fluttershy paused to pluck a flying napkin out of the air to wipe away a few stray crumbs. “Things just make so much more sense here.”