The sentence of Hunger

Diary, Always remember.
...Today something to remember arrive in the form of a memory crystal.

Thankfully, since technically I'm writing this info for myself and myself only, I should able to give this important piece of information to my future self.

Why do I hate Celestia? That I simple, she orders the execution of a
entire race because they help demons and the demons helped them back.

Also one of her ponys let in a coma 7 childs only to bring my attention.

Normally I will just call her a racist and leave it at that, but she is not herself, not since Luna was sent away anyways.

No, she just did not descend into madness only because she lost her sister, but because someone use her vulnerable state to put thoughts into her, that thought is that all demons are evil and all the wrong facts about them. It did not help that someone send her the worse demons of the rules of the universe, demons that couldn't have positive things into them, so they were mad and corrupt.

It was hard to get the info of them, but the worst between them was the demon that had my same name, "The demon of Hunger". famine, bad crops, and livestock, and all kinds of foodborne diseases, all that was part of his repertory, he gained power by making people not able to feed themselves and die from "hunger", the worst part was that he feed himself anytime he could... of the body that died from his namesake or to steal food so more people died of hunger.

So she probably hates me for having the same name, but I will not change mine, not because is too late, but because this name was given to me by the most important person there was for me. If I were not for him, I would also become like the last Hunger, a mindless husk trying to eat all he could so others may starve.

But that story is for another part.

Now coming to why Celestia is what is now (When I wrote this entry), is because the person, (That I shall not mention since I do not want to jinx myself and make him come back from death) every time a bad demon appears, he convinces her that all demons were like that, that every time they had an aspect they will use it to make others suffer and so they could grow in strength faster.

Wich, cause the demons to do that, which causes an eternal loop of negative feedback.

And when she was in the lowest of the low, he manage to plant that idea so deep in her brain, that now no matter what you say or do, she believes it with all her heart.

Thanks to her, all pony kind believes that making all demons around their parts act like that.

And one of that days, 432 years after Luna's banishment to the moon, I was born.

After being saved from madness, I manage to convince all the species which were in a similar state of mind... well most of them, because when that person (Wich was an immortal too) found out that I was throwing all his work into the trash, he decided to seal me away.

Status mission: Fix Celestia.
How?: Luna is the key.

She did not become in Nightmare moon because only of her hatred and jealousy of her sister, but because that "person" noticed that she was managing to understand why demons were like that, so he had to take off the "loose ends".

He arrange the fallout of Luna since she was already feeling down with the subjects that did not love her or care for her

The good thing is that she was sent away, far out of his reach, so maybe she is old fashion, but she also is "pure".

Why do I want to fix Celestia? Out of spite, I know that she is not in her right mind, but she had done terrible things, I can only hope when she wakes up from her trance, she would be absolutely destroyed by what she has done, I can only hope that she would suffer a worse end than the people's blood that rests on her hoofs.

For now, I have to play the safe game.

But one thing is for sure, if I fail, I can still make her suffer in the old fashion way, how? by destroying the thing that she loves so much, her "little ponys."

Should I feel bad for making suffer people that has nothing to do with this cold war? probably, but I will be dead, so is not like I could feel a lot of things in that state, believe me, I already experience one afterlife and my mind only survive by pure chance.

Diary: Soulmancy minions, If you want a job done right...

Long ago I noticed something, that I couldn't believe in people, not to do delicate jobs anyways.

I have been betrayed many times, most of the time by ponys, but another time by people I hold close to my heart... Before this, I wrote my Book in equish, but when one person that I had my utmost trust in used one of my discoveries to try to kill me, I knew that I couldn't believe anyone but myself and my soul's familiars or contracts.

And I hate the second one, so in my desperation, I tried to make another me, I found 2 ways to do it.

Me, but double:
I can use my power to divide my soul and my mind, which is good, but since I do not want a fight with myself to see which is the real one, I found a way to make some kind of hive mind.

That was the easy part since apparently strong demons can do it pretty easily, I could always no matter where be connected to myself and work double thanks to having two boys.

The thing it was really hard to learn to control the bodies.

Imagine that you have two sets of arms, maybe you think "surely is easy to move the one I want", and maybe you are right, since you only have one body, but now think what would happen if you have the same body but twice? if I had to describe it, I would say "My head hurt", because all the nerves and muscles are the same, but different because there are 2 yous.

It doesn't make sense at all, right? believe me, I wish I could explain the experience, but I would put it simply in a nutshell.

It was like having two sets of screwdrivers that are practically the same, but they work in totally different screws. Or to have two bottoms very close to one another and you were blindfolded, and you couldn't first touch the surface to see which one you were about to press.

Wich was fuck up.

I pass 3 days trying to move the body individually, some times I moved the leg of the other body by mistake, others I confused the vision of the other which made me collide or fall on my face, in addition to all that bull-shit I sometimes only breath through one body, which cause me to fall unconscious practically out of nowhere.

It was hell, and it took me two years of training to actually understand how to multi-task, two years of many... many dead bodies.

Was it worth it? yes, totally.

Also, the bad part is if they found a way to "chain react" to kill my extra me, can cause to all of the myselfs to die in a single attack, which is bad, I still do not found a practical way to dodge that death, and since when I am divided my powers are divided too, I'm a lot more of an easy target... The only good thing is that I can decide how much percentage of my strength can have the other's body, which if I send them away to do easy and safe work I can still protect myself.

Another bad part is that my mind gets tired a lot faster, meaning that if I only needed to sleep one time every 5 to 4 days, when I'm divided by 2, I have to sleep every 2 days.

But anyways, before that 2 Years happened, I manage to find a more easy way to have minions, which takes us to the second method.

Souls slaves:
It is really a slave if you are only enslaving yourself? probably, but this method is far more practical than the last one.

I dived my soul and use very little of my mind, then expose them to the ambient thoughts, which caused it to become feral, but since I'm still sane and I have more capital of the same soul, they do not go crazy, and obey every command that I give them.

It is ethical? I do not know, since I'm the only one getting hurt, it is convenient? Very much so, is like having a drone, even if they are not very "sentient", they still have my same prejudice and they obey the command I gave them, they work very much like I would, except that they do not need to rest.

The bad part is that they take it all too literal, If I say "Found X person and killed it", they only seek that by any means necessary and will not defend themself if they get attacked by any others, So I have to put like, "Find X person and killed him, leave all people unconscious if they get in the way.", That command is still wrong, because I said, "people" which means that anything that is not that (Like an animal or demon) will be able to attack that piece of soul without repercussion, that and maybe they will take the "in the way" literally again and knock out all people that crosses their path.

They also cannot understand too complex commands, so extra trouble.

So I have to find the perfect balance between complex and easy to follow as possible.

The extra and maybe good part is if they get killed, I will receive a notification in a suddenly puking blood, which blood will come directly from my soul and it will get bigger the fragment of the soul that died.

The bad thing is that they can send me messages, but they can only be simple and most of the time it does not makes sense, if I see through their senses, it will cause damage to my mind since they are too feral and affect by the thoughts of the creatures of this world.

Thankfully, if they are killed, they can't be chan react to destroy me o all the little soul minion pieces.

I have the smallest suspicion that If I were only to have let's say, 10% of my soul and a feral piece of soul died and had 11%, it would instantly kill me, so I always keep a good percentage in my central soul.

Diary: The book.
Before being sealed, I had a book where I wrote all the most important discoveries and invents that I found.

I always put a prototype on it, so is full of artifacts.

The only way know it is still out there is because I enchanted it with all the force of my aspect, it was so heavily magical thanks to this and the artifact that it had, that it made it become sentient, thankfully it was so connected to my aspect that is bound to me.

Thanks to the fact that I started to write it when my paranoia started to kick in, I wrote it in my natal language and I put a heavy code into every word.

In other words, I need my book thanks to the power that it could give back, the bad thing is that when I was sealed away, they probably found it and since it tried to eat everyone that tried to eat it/ or they could understand the text even if they tried to decode it, they probably seal it too or hide my presence of it.

At the time of this entry, I have every piece of my ex-soul trying out found it.

Gula, where the fuck are you?

I can still feel you, but it is too weak, like you are in a deep slumber.

...Maybe I can ask luna to see if he is in the dream realm?.

Diary: Ups, note to self, Fix Celestia's brain.

Do you know there is a chance that one of your ear drums can explode in the middle of your sleep? Like, out of nowhere, just one day when you wake up you can't hear anything through one ear.

Kinda scary if you can't regenerate your body if you ask me.

Why do I'm explaining this in this diary/Journal? Simple, not long ago I by accident confirmed that theory to these ponys, one day the eardrum of Celestia just pop, and was an interesting scientific discovery in equine anatomy... except that it was not by pure random chance, it was one of my failsafe.

Before all this, I couldn't remember my negotiations with Celestia about my soul contract, which was weird, but at the moment thought it was the fault of Celestia... It was mine.

I still could remember part of them, like every time I tried to convince Celestia to give me more leeway or to change something unreasonable to ask of me, but I did not remember why she was so dumb to give me so many Loops holes, after all, she still is a monarch over 1000+ years old, how could she be so dumb to give me so much of "easy" time? or better yet, why not just kill me?.

Simple, I made her do it.

Today a piece of my soul with a piece of memory arrive at the base, I was confused since I thought that I had every spare piece of my soul trying to find my Gula, so I united to myself and saw what memory it had.

It was me before I was sealed away, and one failsafe that I'm not too proud of.

Apparently, I had left a piece of my soul to stand by in Canterlot palace, which survive thanks to feeding as a rat would, fast forward 400 years, and the piece of soul noticed that my presence was getting stronger and that I will come back very soon, so it started her true mission.

One night, it enter through Celestia's ear (destroying an eardrum) and proceeded to install itself inside of her brain, thankfully ponys thought that it was because of this fact that I talk at the beginning.

I'm not a good person, even if I hate mind-fukery things, I would do it if I need it.

I know I'm a hypocrite, hating when people enter my brain and tried to change who I am, but later I literally install a parasite in Celestia's brain, but honor and morals are for strong people, not for a broken minded demon with a little too much paranoia.

And you may be asked, why not just change who Celestia is and make her my brainless puppet? Because is not that easy, apparently Alicorns have a strong constitution and powerful mind barriers that shall defend against brainwashing, to the point where they can only be affected when they are at their absolute lowest point or want the let themself be brainwashed.

Meaning that I can not change her unless I decided to find some way to make her life so miserable that I could affect her mind, which would be extremely hard and probably would create a river of innocent blood.

Then what I did do to affect her? Easy, I did not brainwash her, I just gave her brain damage... by accident, but nonetheless, I did it.

So basically I implanted the piece of soul in the part of her brain that does the "rational" thinking, the piece of soul is hidden thanks to her own soul and strong magic aura, plus the fact that inside of a ball of brain stuff, making pass just like another part of her brain, if they took their time, they probably see it like a tumor, which may not even take it out since is in a delicate area.

Going back to how I managed to not die, when she capture me once I free myself, I had to activate the fail-safe so she started to not think rationally, so the piece of soul started to make pressure on her brain, making her act like an absolute dumb ass.

Sadly, she was too smart to actually convince her to free me or tried to make me go to villain rehabilitación, actually, she wanted to put me in a cell while she found another way to seal me again, if not where for the fact that I help a village to survive a demon attack (when Luna return), She probably would just do that.

So since I help to save that place and Ponyville needed some person to deal with the demons, I manage to convince her into making me go there to deal with them. The bigger problem was that she couldn't trust me to be scot-free, and they feared that I could brake free of any magic bonds that she put me in (which I probably could), so she wanted to play it safe and send me to Tartarus while she found a way to deal with me.

So... I may or may not have made that piece of my soul to do even more pressure on her brain and convince her to make a soul contract so she could make sure that I did not manage to get away or do harm to her ponys. I also may or may not made even more pressure so to make Loop's holes and lee-ways that I could get away with, and maybe some dumb stuff in the hopes that she would like to "fix" it.

Since if we do the contract again I could give even more leeway for me or even convince her to free me. The thing that at the moment was doing unconsciously, now that this piece of my soul come back to me I know better the fact that Celestia has this compulsion to act against demons, which means that giving her good ideas in that direct manner is not a good way to make her do what I suggest.

So, I would have to be more tactful... And also not apply too much pressure to her brain the next time, since apparently I indeed cause her brain damage, since she was doing some dumb shit for 3 days straight, and even now she is making mistakes in paperwork and her royal duties. Thankfully ponys are dumb and they think is because of the stress, and maybe the fact that trying to tell her ruler that maybe she is not thinking clearly or is in her right mind is a hard thing to say.

...Is not like someone can make her go to check her brain or go to a psychiatrist against her will.

Since I need her to think straight again, I will make one of my strongest pieces of the soul to go check on her and try to speed up the fixing of her brain, if it is permanent, I will use the blueprint that the piece of soul that had installed itself in her brain should have.

Also, you may ask why I extract this memory and send them to the odyssey to find me again, that is simple, paranoia.

I did not want to have in my mind that I had in fact manipulated Celestia in some way since I can't lie, I literally was one question away from getting fuck, or even worse, one mind proving away.

So before getting out to the security check, I tore my soul apart and inserted this piece of mind into it, and send it to find me in three weeks.

The thing that arrives just now.

I will now erase this memory before it gets to mix inside my soul, and then I will put a compulsion in me to act around all this info.

Also, how did I manage to install a parasite in her brain or hide its presence inside the castle? I had to do a... meat golem made of pony meat, with working harmony magic.

Yes, I am not a good person.

Diary: #?!"?=#!""#!

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Diary: This is bad.

My diary was open... The diary where I put a soul lock on.

This is really bad.

Because it was not forced open, the lock is intact, which means that I open it, but I don't remember doing so.

And the worst part is that there is something written into it, but is not any idiom that I know.

... I will use a traduction Rune.

what?

It says the following... I shall use the same trick just in case someone is trying to decipher my language.

Diary: Dear diary, today I found a rat.

The little rat was walking through my garden, when I felt it, I had to see it, and when the little rat saw me, it tried to run, but I catch it.
*SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK*

The rat cried, it tells me that it had family, that it was sorry that it was touching my things, he told me he was going to change, but then I laugh, "Little rat don't be dumb, you are a rat, and nothing will change that", Then it cried harder, his puffy eyes getting bigger the more pressure I put in his neck, his dark brown fur around his face getting purple, and I could taste death, it was fun... When he loses all hope, I make him remember who he truly was, but then the little rat smile at me... how annoying, is always the same, the joke is never complete, because they always smile.

That is... bad, my hands are trembling, This note I do not remember writing it, which probably means that something is out of my league... I will put a second lock just in case.

For some reason, I feel like I know who did this, but I can't remember.

I will put my diary under one of my statues starting now.