Heart of the Wood

Day zero

I swing my axe down hard on the oak log, splitting it cleanly in two. "I'm just saying that there's a lot more to life than selling firewood, Willow," I say to my sister, setting one half of the log back on the block. Another swing leaves it in quarters. "I want to get out there and see the world! I want to meet ponies that I haven't known my whole life and have new experiences."

Willow Leaf looks up from her botany textbook where she sits on a stack of split logs, brushing her frizzy red mane out from in front of her glasses. "So," she says slowly, "to get new experiences you're going to stop cutting firewood in Hoofington and start cutting lumber in Ponyville? Are you sure you want to move so fast, Heart?"

Swing. Chop. I give her a sidelong glance. "Very funny," I say dryly, pulling another log over. "It's a place to start. Besides, cutting trees is what I'm good at. There's a reason I got my cutie mark in it." I point to my flank where a heart-shaped log crosscut stands out against my yellow coat.

She shrugs, looking back to her book. "You know Dad would just say that means you belong here working the family business, don't you?"

I sigh, lining up to split the next one. "Tell me something I haven't heard hundreds of times since I got my mark." Swing. Chop. "The way I see it, it's no different than you going off to school to study forestry. We can't all chop firewood forever."

She doesn't look up. "Do you remember that Mom only backed me about it when I convinced her that it would help the business?" she asks. Glancing over the top of her book she adds, "How will you argue that going into a different profession entirely helps the family?"

"That's not the point," Swing. Chop. "The family business is well in hoof. Between Mom, Dad, you, and the twins I'm not exactly needed here. I'll be getting out of everypony's mane."

"What about Sap Wood?" Willow asks simply as I pull up the axe.

I stop, lowering the axe and leaning on it. "Sappy will understand," I say slowly. "Eventually. He's a smart kid." I sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. "I know he'll miss me. I'll miss him, too. But what kind of sister would I be if I didn't set an example by following my dreams?" I hoist up the axe, splitting another log. Swing. Chop. "He's not going to sell firewood all his life, either. You'll see."

She shrugs and keeps reading. I stop and stare at her. "Willow?" I say, letting an annoyed edge creep into my voice. She glances up with a little "hmm?" sound. I point to the growing pile of firewood. "Are you going to help stack this on a drying rack before Dad and the twins get back with another load, or not?"

Willow rolls her eyes and closes her book, hoping down to her hooves. "Are you sure this isn't the job for you?" she asks.

"That's why I'm leaving," I say, setting up another log. "I'm going to find what I'm meant to be." Swing. Chop.

I pull the cart through the busy market, the dry firewood stacked in it so high it threatens to topple at every turn. Even so, I am delayed most by ponies saying hello and wanting to chat about every little thing. Finally I draw close to our familiar stall, backing the cart alongside so it won't block anypony passing.

"Heart Wood," calls my mom after she sends a customer on their way with three bundles. "What kept you? I just had to spend ten minutes listening to old Mrs. Anjou carrying on about pears so we wouldn't run out of stock."

I start unloading the cart as she talks. "Sorry, Mom," I say. "Willow and I got a little behind with splitting new wood to dry. Dad and the twins had to take over so we could get you more stock in time."

She frowns. "Willow had her muzzle in her books again, didn't she?"

I shake my head. "There was just a lot to split and stack, Mom," I lie, focusing more on emptying the cart. "Dad brought in three wagon loads of oak."

She doesn't seem convinced, but she doesn't press the matter any further. "I suppose I should be happy she's doing so well in her studies. Where are your brothers now?"

I finish emptying the cart into a neat stack. "I think they said they were going to get dinner started. Dad said he had some business to take care of in his office after the splitting was done."

Mom's eyes grow wide. "The twins are cooking? Together?" She takes off her change apron, handing it to me. "Keep an eye on the stall and your little brother. I need to check that the kitchen is still there. Dinner's at sunset." Without another word she hurries off through the market.

"I don't need anypony watching me!" calls a young voice from inside the stall. "I'm old enough to watch myself."

I strap on the apron and enter the stall, smiling at my little brother Sap Wood where he sits. "Hey there, Sappy!" I call cheerfully, tousling his blue mane.

He scowls and ducks his head away, lifting the pencil in his teeth away from the paper he's leaning over. "Don't call me that!" he complains, spitting out the pencil. "And be careful, Heart! You almost ruined my drawing."

I smile mischievously. "Never again," I say with a wink. I glance down at the paper. "What are you drawing today, Sap?"

He holds up the page so I can see. It's a detailed sketch of the view from the stall, with ponies of all kinds in various groups. "Wow. This is really good, Sap," I say, looking up to compare the view. "The buildings and stalls are perfect, but I don't see these ponies there."

"They were when I started," he says casually. "I still remember where they were." He looks down at the page again then asks quietly, "Do you really think it's good, Heart? Mom said it was silly."

"What?!" I say, shocked. "Mom doesn't know what she's talking about. This is your best drawing yet! Look at those sharp lines on the buildings, and how lifelike the ponies are." I smile at him. "I'm telling you, this could be framed when you finish."

Sap Wood's face practically glows as he smiles at the praise. "Do you really think so, Heart?" he asks eagerly.

I nod with conviction. "I know so. You keep this up and you'll get a cutie mark in art someday. You've got a gift for making beautiful pictures."

He rushes forward and hugs me fiercely. "I love you, sis," he murmurs against my neck.

I smile warmly, holding him tight. "I love you, too, Sappy."

He pulls away with a frown. "I told you not to call me that," he pouts.

"Never again," I say, my smile never diminishing.

A smile plays at his lips, then he looks away to his saddle bag. "I'm gonna draw you, Heart," he says, pulling out blank paper and laying it out. "I'm gonna paint it when I get home. What's your favorite color?"

I reach over and brush a few errant strands of his mane away from his eyes. "Blue," I say.

He grins and nods, picking up the pencil again and starting to draw.

After dinner Sap Wood hurries off to his room, chattering about the colors he's going to use for my portrait. Willow returns her plate to the sink and quietly slips away, likely to her room and her books. The twins stand, talking quickly to each other, one completing the other's sentences. They walk towards the living room.

"Oh, no," Mom says, standing up. "Ash, Oak, you two are washing dishes tonight. Get over to the sink."

They turn around with identical wounded expressions. "Aw, Mom!" Ash Wood complains. "That's not—"

"Fair," continues Oak Wood. "It's Heart's night—"

"To do the dishes," finishes Ash.

"Not after the mess you made in there it isn't," Mom insists. "Heart can do the dishes tomorrow, but you two will clean up after yourselves tonight."

They turn as one to our father. "Dad!"

He shakes his head, standing. "Boys, do what your mother says."

They both pout, trudging off to the kitchen.

Dad turns back to Mom, kissing her cheek. "I'll be in my office. There's a lot to plan before we start tomorrow."

"Of course, dear," she says with a smile. Once he's gone she picks up her plate. "Are you finished, Heart? I'll get that for you."

"That's okay, Mom," I say quickly, standing up. "I can clear the table. It will keep the twins from sulking too much."

She raises a brow. "Where is this burst of compassion coming from?" she asks warily.

I smile, taking her plate from her. "I just want to avoid hearing them whine all night. Go ahead. Weren't you working on a new arrangement?"

She watches me picking up plates and utensils for a moment. "Alright," she says at last, stepping toward the hall. "Thank you, Heart. I am looking forward to finishing it." With a last suspicious look at me, she walks off to her craft room.

I carry a stack of plates and serving trays into the kitchen, setting it by the sink and my chattering brothers.

Ash and Oak exchange a look, then Ash grins at me. "So, Heart, did you ask them yet?"

I roll my eyes. "No, Ash, I haven't told them yet. I'm a grown mare, I don't have to ask permission."

Oak nods at his brother. "He's Oak. I'm Ash."

I raise a brow, pointing at him. "You're Oak." I point to Ash. "He's Ash."

Oak sighs. "We can get Mom and Dad with that. How do you always know?"

I smirk. "Ash is cuter."

They both raise a brow, completely in sync. Ash speaks up again. "When are you breaking the news?" he asks.

I take a deep breath. "After the table is cleared and they can both get some of their work done. I'll get them together."

Oak nods slowly. "Well, then, good—"

"Luck, Heart," Ash continues. He smirks and adds ominously, "You're going—"

"To need it," Oak finishes.

I knock lightly on the door of Mom's craft room, opening it a little. "Mom? Can I come in?"

She looks over from her work table where flowers of dozens of shapes and colors lie scattered over the surface. In the middle is a large arrangement dominated by purple, five-pointed flowers. "Oh, Heart, just who I needed! Something about this one just doesn't feel quite right. What do you think?"

I step closer, looking over her flower choices. "Who is this for?" I ask.

"Buck Swifthoof," she says, adjusting one of the blooms. "I heard in the market this morning that he got signed to play professional hoofball in Fillidelphia. I wanted to send him this to congratulate him."

"I sure hope Holly Blossom doesn't see it,” I quip.

Mom furrows her brow. "His marefriend?" she asks. "Why wouldn't she like it?"

I look at her, raising a brow. "Really, Mom? You loaded it with purple columbine."

She nods. "Yes, for competitiveness, and purple is his favorite color."

"Yes, but columbine also means infidelity." I explain, "Combined with the white hydrangea this says he's cheating on her and he's bragging about it."

Her eyes grow wide. "Oh, that must be why it didn't feel right. Maybe lavender will work better." She steps over and kisses my forehead. "Thanks, Heart. How did you get to know so much about this."

I smile at the kiss. "You've only told me about it since I was a filly."

Mom starts pulling the columbine from the arrangement. "So why did you peek in?" she asks.

"I have something I wanted to tell you and Dad," I say. "Will you come over to his office with me?"

She turns her attention fully to me for the first time since I walked in. "That sounds ominous," she says. "What's this about, Heart?"

I try to smile reassuringly, but feel my heart speeding up. "It's a good thing, I promise. I really want to tell you both together. Please?"

She sighs and sets down her flowers. "Alright, alright," she concedes, "Let's go see your father."

I follow her out to the hall, quietly willing my heart to slow down again. We step two doors down and Mom knocks on the office. There's a muffled, "Yeah?" from the other side and she opens the door. "Honey? Heart says she has something important to tell us."

Dad looks up from the forest map in his hooves, raising a brow. "Important, eh? Come in, Heart, and tell us what's so important."

I step inside past Mom and she closes the door, moving over beside Dad. I take a breath to steady myself and try to smile confidently. "Mom, Dad," I say, looking between them."Now, I want you to hear me out. I've been thinking about this for a long time, and it really means a lot to me. I think it will help me out in the long run, and help the family, too."

Dad sighs, rubbing his forehead. "Please get to the point, Heart Wood. Are you asking for money for something?"

I shake my head quickly. "No, Dad, nothing like that. In fact, it will save you money. You see, I…" I take a deep breath. "I want to move to Ponyville."

There's silence as they both stare at me, looking stunned. Mom is the first to answer, shaking her head. "Why would you want to move so far away?"

"It's not that far," I assure them. "It's just on the other side of Whitetail Woods."

Dad stands up. "Don't be ridiculous. That's far too far away to make it to work. You'd travel all night, and spend all your bits on train fare."

I nod, taking another steadying breath. "I know, Dad. That's why I wouldn't be working here anymore. I found out there's a lumber company just outside Ponyville that's hiring loggers. I plan on getting work there."

He frowns at that, stepping around the desk. "Why would you abandon your family like that, Heart? We need you here."

Mom adds, "How is this fair to your brothers and sister? Or to us? We'd all have to pick up your work on top of our own."

"Willow and the twins think they can handle it," I say firmly.

"They know about this already?" Dad asks quietly.

I sigh. "Yes, they know. I told you I've been thinking about this. I've dreamed about going out on my own for years. Why wouldn't I ask my big brothers and my big sister if I was making a mistake?"

"Why didn't you ask us?" Mom asks, sounding hurt.

I shake my head. "Because I knew you'd both react like this, Mom. All my life you've told me how important the family business is."

She looks at me sadly. "And what about Sap Wood? You two are so close."

I nod slowly. "I'll explain it to him. It'll hurt both of us, but I know he'll see it my way in time. I'll write to him once a week, at least, so he knows I haven't forgotten him."

Dad stays quiet and Mom continues, "Even so, I hate to see him hurt like that. You're a big part of everypony's lives here, Heart. Don't you understand how leaving would affect us all?"

"I know," I say, reaching over and resting a hoof on her shoulder. "It's not like I'll be very far off. It's only two train stops down the line. I will come back and visit whenever I can." I look between them. "This is important to me like the business is important to you. You both told me over and over that selling firewood is our family's legacy."

Dad jumps in, "Exactly! Our family has supplied firewood to the ponies around here for three generations before me. The trees we harvest were planted by your great grandfather, just like someday your children and grandchildren will harvest the trees we replant now. Why, we fuel—"

"Half of Hoofington, I know!" I interrupt. I look between them both. "Please believe me, I'm proud to be part of this family. I love both of you so much, and Willow and the boys, too. I'm not giving up on the family, I'm trying to be true to myself." When they don't rush in to speak, I take the opportunity to press my case. "There's so much of Equestria outside of Hoofington, and I want to see it! I want to meet new ponies and try new things. It's my life, and I want to live it before I die. And who knows, maybe someday I'll come back and settle down here again. It's my home, and I'll never forget my roots. I really want you both to back me on this. Going out on my own won't be scary if I know you support me."

They look at each other, and Dad sighs. I let my hopes rise that he might give in.

"Absolutely not," he says firmly, turning and walking back to his desk. "We're not going to let you go off and ruin your life. You might end up broke with no way home, or worse, dead in a ditch somewhere or in a manticore's stomach."

I look to Mom and she nods. "We only want what's best for you, Heart. You need to stay with your family."

I turn and take a step towards the door, my ears drooping low. I stop and take a deep breath. "I wasn't asking your permission," I say firmly, raising my head.

Mom gasps. "What did you say?" Dad asks slowly, his voice deep and quiet.

I turn back to face them, Mom looking shocked and Dad frowning. "I said I wasn't asking for your permission. I'm a grown mare, Dad. I will choose how I live my life, not the two of you."

"Heart Wood!" Mom says. Her voice is sharp and cross, like I'd said something that cost her a sale. "We are your parents. Don't you talk to us like that, young filly!"

"I am not a filly anymore!" I clench my teeth to keep from shouting. "That's the whole point. I'm going to live as I see fit."

Dad steps forward. His voice sounds as barely controlled as mine does. "Enough of this foolishness! Grown or not, as long as you live under our roof you will abide by our rules. You aren't going, and that's final!"

We glare at one another, jaws tight and eyes narrow. Mom looks between us. "Maybe we should discuss this tomorrow," she says softly. "I'm sure after a good night's sleep we can settle this and find something for you to do in town. It will be alright. You'll see."

I don't back down from my father's stare. Heat rises on my scalp. "No, Mom," I practically growl through clenched teeth. "I'm not going to find some distraction in town. I'm moving to Ponyville, with or without your support. You'll have to tie me to my bed to keep me here."

Dad looks like he's ready to split wood with his bare hooves. "After all we've done to raise and protect you, this is how you thank us? By abandoning your family and our legacy?"

"I don't want you to protect me!" I shout. "I'm not abandoning anypony. I'm going to make it on my own!"

"Fine! Go!" he shouts, pointing at the door. "Get out! I never want to see your ungrateful hide again!"

"You won't!" I shout back at him, then turn and stomp out of the room, slamming the door behind me.

I storm off to my room, slamming that door shut as well. I drop down on the bed, tears streaming over my cheeks. I look up at the ceiling, trying to hold them back before I break down completely.

"Heart?" comes a tiny, uncertain voice from the door. I look over into the frightened eyes of Sap Wood. "Why are you crying? Is it because of all the shouting?"

I bite back the sobs that threaten to overwhelm me, wiping my eyes. "I'm okay, Sappy," I say with my voice cracking. "Come here."

He steps in, closing the door. "Stop calling me that," he says, still sounding more concerned than angry. He approaches hesitantly until I hold out my forelegs for a hug. Then he rushes up to hug me tight.

"Never again," I whisper and kiss his head. Sniffing back more tears I gently pull back and smile down at him. "That shouting is pretty scary, huh?"

He nods quickly. "Yeah, it is."

I nod as well. "It's pretty scary when you're the one shouting, too. Don't worry, though. Nobody's going to hurt you or shout at you. I promise."

"Don't you and Dad love each other anymore?" he asks, lip quivering.

I bite back another sob. "Of course we do," I say and give his shoulder a squeeze. "I just told Mom and Dad something they really didn't like. And I wouldn't back down when they told me to take it back."

He frowns, scrunching up his forehead. "What did you tell them?" he asks.

I open my mouth to answer, but suddenly feel my throat tightening up. I take a deep breath. "I told them I want to chase my dreams, Sap. They were angry because that means I won't be working at the firewood stand anymore." I pull him closer. "And it means I'm going to go away for a while."

He gasps and looks up, eyes wide. "You're leaving me, Heart?"

I close my eyes against the tears. "Only for a while, Sap. I'll come back to see you, and I'll write to you all the time." I kiss his forehead again. "Nothing could keep me away from my favorite little brother for long."

He sniffs, wiping his eyes. "I don't want you to go," he whispers

I nod slowly. "It's really hard for me to go, too. I'm going to miss you so much."

"Then why are you going?" he asks.

I pull back and look him in the eyes. "Imagine if you couldn't draw or paint anymore. How would you feel?"

His eyes widen. "I would hate that!" he says. "Painting is all I want to do."

I smile. "And you should never let anypony keep you from doing it. But for me, I want to travel and find my own path just as much as you want to paint. Do you understand?"

He nods slowly. "Yeah, I think I do. When are you going to go?"

"I think I'm going to get going right away, Sap. Tonight." I glance at the door, picturing Dad's office beyond it. "Dad really strongly encouraged me to leave as soon as I could."

He hugs me again. "That's too soon!" he cries.

I pat his back lightly. "I know it is." Putting on a smile I look into his eyes again. "How about you help me pack my saddlebags? I don't want to miss anything important."

He nods, then his eyes get wide again. "I'll be right back!" he says and runs from the room.

I wipe away a tear and get out my bags. I don't take much, just some cold-weather clothes suitable for work and the bits I've saved up. I look to the mirror over my dresser and the pictures of my friends and family. I'm packing them away when Sap Wood returns.

"I want you to have this, Heart!" he says eagerly, holding out a paper. I take it and look at a beautiful painting of me against a blue background, exactly as he'd sketched me earlier.

I smile, tears welling up. "It's beautiful, Sap. The best one yet." I hold it out to him. "Are you sure you don't want to keep it, to remember me?"

He shakes his head. "I'll never forget how you look, Heart," he says. "I can paint another."

I nod once. "In that case, thank you, Sap. I'll take it, but," I pull one of the photos out of my bag, handing it to him. "Only if you take this."

He looks at the photo of the two of us posing in front of the firewood stand. "Don't you want it?" he asks.

"You gave me a picture that shows how much you love me," I say with a smile. "I want you to have a picture that shows how much I love you."

He nods quickly, squinting against tears, and hugs me again. I hug him back tightly. "I'm gonna miss you, Heart. I love you."

I kiss his head again. "I love you, too, Sappy."

His face scrunches in a frown, but he doesn't let go. "Stop calling me that!"

I smile and say softly, "Never again."

I eventually convince Sap Wood to head to his room so I can leave, but not before many more hugs.

With my saddlebags strapped on tight I walk slowly down the hall. I look at the closed doors of the office and craft room, half expecting them to fly open and my parents to rush out to me. I pause by the craft room, lifting my hoof to knock, then lower it and move on.

No one is around the living room or kitchen. My ears droop and I sigh, disappointed that Willow and the twins must be in their rooms. As much as I want to say goodbye, I can't bring myself to walk back down the hall.

I take another look around, wondering when I'll see home again. I step to the front door and open it to leave

"Did you think you could get away without saying goodbye?" Willow asks, standing on the porch between Ash and Oak.

I gasp, a smile spreading over my face. "What are you all doing out here?" I ask, stepping up to hug each of them in turn.

Oak smirks and says, "We are waiting—"

"For you, obviously," Ash finishes.

"After how your conversation with Mom and Dad ended," Willow adds, "wasn't it likely you would leave tonight?"

I sigh. "You all heard that, huh?"

Ash grins. "Only because we—"

"Were eavesdropping," Oak says, matching his brother's grin. "Not that anypony within a mile—"

"Couldn't hear how it ended." Ash nods.

My cheeks feel warm and I smile ruefully. "Yeah, that wasn't how I'd hoped that would go." I admit. "You should know I told them that I talked with you all about my plans. They might be a little mad "

Oak and Ash shrug in harmony. "Let them be," Oak says. "We're not going to—"

"Leave our little sis hanging." Ash adds. With a look between them, Ash pulls a bag out from behind them, and Oak picks up an axe.

I take the axe first, pulling the cover off the head. There, etched into the metal around the handle, is my cutie mark. "My axe?" I ask. "Isn't Dad going to be angry about giving away business property?"

Willow shakes her head. "Isn't Dad the one who had it customized and gave it to you on your birthday? That makes it yours in our book."

Ash pushes the bag forward. "And these are snacks to hold you over until a restaurant opens."

I look at the bag, then up at my brothers' grinning faces. I swallow hard and reach cautiously for it.

"I made the snacks," Willow says. "Do you think I'd let these two near food meant for someone we love?"

The twins give a disappointed, "Aww!" at her statement. I sigh. "Whew," I say with a grin, taking the bag. "I wasn't sure I'd survive the night."

We all laugh and I pull them into a group hug. "Thank you all," I say softly. "I love you." Pulling back, I look them in the eyes. "Take care of Sappy, won't you? He's going to feel alone for a while. Make sure to encourage his artwork. He needs to create."

"Don't worry, Heart," Ash says. "We'll make sure—"

"He's never alone. He'll be sending you sketches within the week." Oak finishes.

"We love him as much as we love you, Heart," Willow adds with a smile. "Now are you going to chase those dreams of yours or stand on the porch all night?"

I sigh and hug each of them in turn. "You are the best." I say, smiling. "I'll write as soon as I can." With that I step off the porch and walk away. I look back and wave at them. I see a curtain pull aside in Sap Wood's window, and I smile and wave to him, too. With a deep, steadying breath I trot toward the train station to find a place to sleep.