Stone and Secrets

"So, what's been bothering you, Celestia?"

Shining spoke frankly, and Celestia appreciated it, even if the unusual choice of approach took some getting used to.

She looked around to make sure they had not been followed, and continued walking into the garden, silently asking for a moment to collect her thoughts. They strode on for a few more moments, and she looked from his sun-dappled face to the soft grass below the canopy more than a few times.

It was a warm, concerned, and trustworthy face. One that almost spoke without words, saying 'I'm here, and I'll be staying here. I want to listen. Please, talk to me.'

"Is it me?"

She turned to him with a look of shock, suddenly noticing the disconcerted edge in his tone. "What?"

"Is the problem me? Am I being a nuisance, or creating some issue for you? It wouldn't be the first time I've done that..."

Both stopped, and Celestia was slightly stunned for a moment. She had never seen Shining look quite so vulnerable, so fragile, and yet... in the midst of it, he was resolute, determined to be accepting.

The expected reaction she had seen a million times would be to shout 'Oh no no! Of course not!' or somesuch. Celestia suspected it would not work so well for Shining, so instead she placed a hoof on his shoulder, looked deep into his eyes, and spoke in a sincere, warm voice, as if playing the role of friend and mother at once.

"Shining, the only problems you've caused me are a messy mane and cheeks that are sore from smiling. You've been a great friend to me." She paused for a moment, suddenly realizing that she had not thought of them sharing a close friendship before. "You take some of the weight of my kingdom from my shoulders, and brighten my darker days. And above all, I can trust you and speak openly with you. That alone is enough to abundantly make up for the occasional mess you create in my halls."

More than half of what she said had gone through her lips before it went through her mind, but she realized the truth of each part as she said it.

He himself bore a warm and reassured smile now, and so she felt perhaps it was best to move on. "In fact, that is why I chose you to speak to. Would you be willing to give a listening ear? To be entirely frank, I think I just need someone to complain to." She allowed herself to smile sheepishly at him, and in response, Shining seemed to recover a large portion of his normal strength, and they continued walking.

"Sounds good to me. Really, I think we all need that, sometimes. So, what would you like to complain about?"

Celestia huffed, and sighed, and looked away. She looked back to Shining, who seemed somewhat concerned, but also confident this time, and realized that if she could not speak openly with him now, she could not expect herself to be able to do so when she needed to elsewhere.

"Luna. It's about Luna."

Shining looked up at Celestia, with a eyes that seemed puzzled and a smile that was smug. She doubted one last time if it was really appropriate to do this, but decided there was only one way to find out. And besides that point, it would help show that she was, at heart, still a pony, with all the same vulnerabilities and flaws other ponies had.

"What about Luna?"

Startled from her train of thought, Celestia failed to remember the lines she had hoped to use to begin this conversation. "Well... it's hard to explain."

Shining gave her a look that said he wouldn't be accepting excuses. "We've got time."

He was right, of course, and with the option of stalling taken, she had only the option of trying as best she could. "I am often very busy, as you certainly know, and I am frequently very stressed. It's not easy trying to rule whole kingdom, and then at the same time, to deal with personal problems. And not just my own personal problems, but those of others. Ponies come to me for help, for advice, and I'm glad to help them, but it's difficult. Oftentimes, Luna is a great help to me. She listens, and I feel like my burden is lightened. But sometimes, she just adds to it. And lately, she's been doing that fairly often."

She paused and allowed their gazes to meet, and was glad to find understanding in his bright eyes.

They stopped in the shade of a large oak tree, long grassy paths winding out long between the trees in front of them and to either side.

Shining's voice was soft, his tone inquisitive. "How so?"

Celestia tilted her head to each side, and felt some of her apprehension return. "Well, we rule side by side," a smile crept onto her face "but I'm still her big sister. Sometimes she tries to give me tips and advice about things, but it's irritating opinions she thinks are truths just as often as it is actually useful information. 'You need to get out more, Tia.' 'One must choose their friends wisely, Tia.' 'Balance is important, Tia.' 'Cake is bad for your health, Tia.' It drives me mad, sometimes."

Shining had a silly grin plastered on his face. "Well, you do need to get out more, Tia."

Celestia pursed her lips and gave him an unamused look, then playfully punched him in the shoulder.

"Ow! Hey!"

Celestia could not help putting on a goofy grin. She had always wanted to do that to somepony.

When that moment had passed, she continued on.

"And a lot of the time, she comes to me for advice about things. I want to help her, but I don't always have answers. And I try to work something out, but sometimes I end up giving her advice and later realizing it was irrelevant, or unusable, or even downright harmful.

In addition, it makes it harder for me. She asks my advice more often than I ask hers, and it almost puts us on separate levels somehow. I've been trying to seek her help more often, but even though that makes me feel like we're more equal, it hurts her view of me as someone who can always help her. And yet, who do I have to lean on?"

She looked at the ground with a depressed expression, and paused for a long moment.

"Oh, I must sound like-"

"You have me."

Celestia looked up, too surprised at being cut off to be certain of what she had heard, and found Shining wearing a bright smile. "What?"

"You want someone to be there for you? Well, you have me. I don't know how much help somepony like me can be for you, what with you being an immortal Princess and me being a regular earth pony, but I'll be here, rain or shine, and I'll help you in any way I can. I may not be able to be your powerful guardian, but I can still be your friend, and I know I can give you a relaxing day or a listening ear. For what it's worth, I'm here for you."

Celestia briefly paused in hesitation, winced, and, opting to act against her better judgement for once, threw a crushing hug around him. "Thank you, Shining."

After his initial shock, he returned the sign of affection enthusiastically, and the two stayed there for a long moment. It was a wonderful moment of connection and understanding, which lasted until they both realized that it had been an abnormal amount of time, and pulled away, their faces a vibrant red.

Celestia defaulted to a partial change of subject to break the silence. "Well, I think I've said enough about Luna, but something else is troubling me." Shining looked up at her with a quizzical expression, giving her the cue to continue. "Earlier, you thought you were the problem that was troubling me. I can understand why such a possibility might perhaps cross your mind, but you were very quick to conclude that it was the case. And you said that it had happened before?"

His face now bore a saddened half-smile, and he would only meet her gaze very briefly. "I must admit, that was quite perceptive."

Celestia smiled back in some attempt to ease the situation. "Well, I've been learning with the best." She punctuated the word "best" with a nod toward him, but she wasn't sure if he saw it.

He looked as if he was swishing the words around in his mouth, unsure as to whether he should spit them out. Celestia was unsure whether she should ask, but reasoned that the painful procedure of removing thorns was the only way to allow the wound to heal.

Perhaps part of him just very much wanted him to ask, to pry. She had experienced that feeling before, but even if it was a unspoken realization that they both shared, it still showed sincere concern for her to oblige him. And besides that, he had just done so for her.

"Please, Shining? I can't force you to tell me, but I truly want to know."

He looked away, and raised his face toward her just enough to look at her sideways. His voice dropped into an uncharacteristically defeated tone.

"Well, it's... not much of a story. I just tend to be the sort of pony who doesn't keep friends. I tend to meet a lot of new ponies, which I love doing, but sooner or later I become more of a bother to them than anything." He took a deep breath, and sighed. "They never tell me anything, either. They just start being busy every time I invite them out, or too tired to spend time when I see them, or I never find them at all."

The quiet resignation on his face was a painful sight to Celestia. She would not have guessed that someone so energetic, so outgoing would be suffering such clear-cut loneliness. And yet... it all made sense. She began to wonder if he would be an irritation to her, if she saw him so often. It was a guilty thought, and it made her feel sadder for him, but she brushed it off when she realized that she had rarely grown tired of him even during his most frequent visits. And he was unusually understanding of the few times she wanted to be left alone.

Several realizations flashed through her mind in the span of a few seconds, accumulating in an epiphany.

He was strange, and energetic, and surprisingly intelligent. Keeping up with him would likely be difficult for many ponies, in a number of ways. And many wouldn't care enough to meet that challenge.

No, he would be fun at first, but then he would want a friend, not just an audience, and many ponies wouldn't like that idea. But he was too nice to be openly rejected or shunned, so they simply diverted him gradually, avoiding and ignoring him until he gave up.

She suddenly realized how attached he was to her and the few other friends he had mentioned, how important his friends were to him.

For all he had to give, he had almost no one. And as far as he knew, he might just be a bother to the people he did have.

He never felt sure that his friendships were anything more than illusions.

And in a world where friendships were such an overwhelmingly large facet of a pony’s life...

Celestia snapped back from this train of thought in time to hear him say it aloud. "It's hard to know if someone's not just putting up with me. I only ever find out if I corner them, and then it's too late to solve things between us."

A long silence descended on them, uninterrupted but for the sound of their hooves on the dirt and grass, until Celestia finally broke it with a simple, sad realization. "That must hurt quite a bit."

"It does."

Celestia hung her head for a moment, already feeling deep regret even as she wracked her brain for something comforting to say.

A smirk formed on her muzzle as she realized just the thing to say.

"You have me."

Shining looked up at her again, his features contorted slightly in a confused expression and his eyes filled with battered hope. The image faded after a second, though, and was replaced by a small smile, which in turn became a look of mischievous joy. "I see what you did there."

They both laughed a bit, which eased the tension, but the emotional gravity of everything they had spoken about crept back into the air.

"Truly though, Shining, I know you have at least a small handful of true friends. Friends who like you for who you are, and who truly appreciate you. From what I've heard, you can count your friend Cinnamon Toast among them; and I know for a fact you can count me. Even though you are frustrating at times, I can't excuse that you've been truly helpful to me in several ways." Celestia quickly turned away before continuing, not noticing that a slight rosiness was developing in her cheeks. "And your visits are always a highlight of my week."

She realized a moment too late that she had for some reason spoken this last line a bit sheepishly, and in a manner not unlike a nervous schoolfilly forcing out a confession.

However, Shining visibly beamed at the statement, and that was enough to make it worth saying. "Really, Shining, too many ponies are surrounded with friends but do not have any such close and loyal friendships. You may not be in the best of situations this way, but you are far from the worst." She cast her head back, as if basking in limelight, and donned her cheesiest imitation of narcissism and pride. "I would say you're lucky. Do you know how many ponies wish they could be friends with a Princess?"

They both burst out laughing, and walked on past the foliage to a bright, warm day.