Stone and Secrets

Twilight awoke early that morning, though she had less than a full night's sleep, to say the least. The same thoughts that had kept her awake still bothered her mind, and part of her wanted to dismiss the whole thing as a dream. What she had seen Celestia doing...

It simply could not have been real.

That didn’t stop the thought from sounding itself in her mind again and again, though.

Discord.

She apologized to Discord.

And... gave him a rose?

Why?

She shook the disturbance from her mind. If she was going to find out what was going on, she would need a clear head.

The blanket bid her a warm farewell as the stone floor met her hooves with a cold greeting. She did not mind it, though. Warmth was for comfort, coolness was for focus.

Not that she knew what to focus on.

Looking out from the tower where she had been lavishly housed for her visit, she could see all the splendor of Canterlot. She tried to allow her mind to get pulled along with the hustle and bustle of the eternally fancy hive below her, but she had learned long ago that such distractions would do little to alleviate her itch for understanding.

While most of her wanted desperately to somehow help as a friend, however irrational such a possibility may have been, some part of her just wanted to investigate for the sake of solving a puzzle. To the unsympathetic detective that sat somewhere in Twilight's mind, this was all a bit of a game, and the rest of her felt terrible for giving such a view even a passing glance.

After a brief deliberation, she concluded that she still needed answers. The Princess simply could not be allowed to bear up under such pain without assistance.

Maybe if I just talk to her, she will open up about these things.

But what she was doing last night was clearly meant to be a secret. She didn't know I was there.

Among the cacophony of arguments that arose within Twilight's mind, one somewhat regal voice managed to stand out.

I am her Faithful Student.

The meaning that the thought carried was enough to allow for both reassurance and obligation in the matter.

Still, best to approach the subject slowly, delicately. I wouldn't want to upset her...

She decided to leave the matter alone for the moment, and trotted down to the Canterlot libraries. Though she greeted the many different ponies who served in the castle, most of them had learned long ago not to bother Twilight when she was on one of her study quests.

After a somewhat brief but contemplative walk, she concluded that the first immediate and inconspicuous source she could lay her hooves on would be books. Taking a few minutes to look through the library garnered her a book on Chaos magic. She had often wondered about it anyhow, though her recent encounter with Discord had generated very mixed feelings on the subject. She still shuddered at the thought of what he had done to her friends and the world around them, but she had never seen anything like Discord’s magic.

To Twilight, every sort of magic and science bore interest. But Chaos Magic was a dark temptation. It could transform everything around you, and even who you were. There was a reason why nopony had practiced it for hundreds of years.

Regardless, this was the only place to start if she was get anywhere near understanding what had been going on, and the subject turned out to be oddly fascinating despite the small amount anypony seemed to truly know for certain. She heard a voice veritably yelling her name, and looked up from her text with a sheepish smile to see a member of the castle staff who had come to invite her to breakfast. She walked off at a brisk pace, but slowed to a saunter as soon as she had rounded a corner, turning back to her reading as she made her way to the dining area.

After another, lengthier walk, Twilight finally arrived at a clearly overdressed table, which, despite its enormous size, would today only be used by Spike, Luna, Celestia and Twilight.

There was a beautiful spread of breakfast foods set upon a pure white tablecloth, all of it in clear excess of what the guests present could possibly eat. All of it sat upon shining serving dishes, to be served with polished utensils onto fine porcelain plates decorated with simple floral patterns. Luna’s dinner was set aside from the rest, along with some fine red wine; though it made the timing slightly difficult, it had become their custom to share this meal time, so as to allow the two sisters to see each other for at least one mealeach day.

Celestia smiled at Twilight, a wholesome and sincere smile. "Good morning, my faithful student. It's good you came to join us. I find these times with friends a welcome break from the usual court ceremony."

Twilight tried to make her voice at least somewhat cheerful when she said "Good morning, and I'm glad to hear it." It did come out in a normal enough tone, but unbeknownst to her, the look in her eyes betrayed deep concern.

If Celestia can seem so normal now, who knows how long she's been suffering this way?

I only saw her doing that once, but it could have happened almost every night for years...

She may have been in misery for years, without me any the wiser...

But then she noticed something. She couldn't tell what, but all at once she saw that something was wrong about Celestia's smile, the eternal motherly expression in her eyes. Something was... missing, almost.

She did not know whether to feel relieved that she could see it, or distressed that it was there.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Spike announced"Thif food if amavinf!" through a mouthful of breakfast. It was something of a relief, though; she needed the silly laugh that came with reproving him, even if it was a fleeting relief.

"I must concur with my sister's expressions about this occasion. The moments I can sit among friends who see beyond my past are too few."

Twilight nodded understandingly, but was not distracted from her thoughts.

How can I possibly ask her about it? She didn't even know I was there.

Or did she?

This was, after all, Celestia she was dealing with. And Celestia had had all the accumulated all the knowledge and wisdom of millennia to give her that startling ability to see through almost everyone, and know all the things that she shouldn't have been able to.

"Twilight, are you feeling well? You've hardly looked up from the floor the whole meal."

Twilight flinched slightly. Why do I suddenly feel like a foal who’s been caught drawing eavesdropping?

Does... does she know?

No. She's just concerned. I've been even deeper in thought than usual this morning, and she noticed.

Grateful for her habit of leaving whatever she was reading lately open on her lap, Twilight simply explained "Oh, I was just... doing some reading. It's a whole new subject for me, so I... got a little lost in it."

Twilight levitated the dusty book for Celestia to see.

Celestia's warm smile grew somewhat. "You and your books have always been inseparable. Just remember to..."

She trailed off for a moment, frozen with her mouth slightly open and her eyes locked on the book. The words "Chaos Magic" escaped her lips, but she quickly apologized and continued as if nothing had happened. "Sorry, I seem to have lost my trail of thought." She immediately recomposed herself, though this time the missing part in her look seemed to have grown to encompass much more.

She looked away for a moment, then back to Twilight. "Twilight, I know you take interest in many things, but I don't recall you reading about Chaos Magic before. Is there any particular reason you've started reading about it?"

Twilight looked sheepish, and squirmed slightly under Celestia's gaze. It was not a threatening look, even with all the power that lay behind it, but it was one that always seemed to see everything.

"No, it just... seemed interesting. It's one of the only kinds of magic I know almost nothing about."

Celestia nodded. "I warn you to exercise caution, my Faithful Student. It is a dangerous field of magic." She paused for a moment, considering something. "It is the very nature of such magic to be distorting and unpredictable. Users of it often suffer terrible consequences." She then turned to Spike and Luna, whom Twilight had forgotten in the midst of Celestia's strange behaviour. "Would anyone like more of anything?"

Twilight was certain Spike would not-entirely-politely ask for dessert or somesuch. Instead, he simply said "No thanks," and returned to a conversation that he and Luna had been having. She realized that they had probably been talking beyond her notice the entire time. For their part, they seemed to be talking and laughing without ever detecting what had just transpired between Celestia and Twilight.

Celestia, meanwhile, sat gingerly sipping her tea, and looked up with the same half-empty smile she had earlier. "Twilight, you really must stop spending so much time in books. Especially those that could lead you somewhere you shouldn't go."

Twilight shrugged, her attitude shifting of its own accord. Her tone attempted politeness, but did not quite hit the mark. "Well, if they're in the Canterlot Archives, they must be there for a reason."

Celestia nodded in silence, and spoke somewhat more softly and slowly than she had been.  "I suppose that is true. Once again, though, be careful."

It must be more than just the danger of Chaos Magic. But what could Celestia possibly be hiding?

Another thought cut a path from Twilight's mind directly into her heart:

Doesn't she trust me? Doesn’t she believe in me?

She began to wonder if this was the right thing to do.