Chapters Once upon a time, in the beautiful land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest used her unicorn powers to raise the sun at dawn, the younger brought out the moon to begin the night. Thus, the two sisters maintained balance for their kingdom and their subjects, all the different types of ponies...
...but, as time went on, the younger sister had a hissy fit, because no pony was paying any attention to her. One fateful day, the younger alicorn refused to lower the moon in an attempt to commit genocide on all life the planet had to offer. The elder sister tried to reason with her, but the hate in the young ones heart was too great. So, she told her sister to "Screw off," Thus, transforming her into the stereotypical evil villain, Nightmare Moon! She vowed that she would shroud the land in eternal night, killing all that had ever ignored her.
Without a second thought, the Elder sister harnessed the most powerful magic known to ponydom, The Elements of Harmony! Using[d] the magic of the Elements of Harmony, she defeated her sister, banishing her permanently to the moon FOREVER! Now with her younger sibling out of the way, the eldest took responsibility for both the sun and moon, making her the only princess in the land and the undisputed ruler of Equestria.
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Six Months Later...
Year 1 Celestia's Reign.
(Luna's Birthday)
"I wish Luna was here," Celestia sighed quietly, as a long line of ponies stretched far across the royal throne room in her vision. All of them, every single one, had stacks of paper held firmly in their hooves. The papers they carried were most likely new laws or requests that they wanted brought to life.
"I really should have thought this whole 'only ruler' thing through before I banished her." Celestia let out another sigh.
"And, that's why I believe we should build a great wall around Equestria!" The brown colt standing in front of the throne finished.
Oh ponyfeathers, I didn't catch a word of that. There, was a short lived pause in the room.
"Yes, I agree with thee 100%. That was a brilliant speech and an even more so brilliant idea, it shall be done," Celestia spoke in a royal tone.
I hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the flank.
"Oh, thank you, THANK YOU!" the colt exclaimed, exiting the scene.
"Next," a royal guard called out.
I can't take this anymore, Using her magic, Celestia pulled the sun out of the sky, replacing it with the moon. "Oh my, it seems as though today has just flown by." Celestia said with a chuckle, trying to maintain her best poker face.
"B-but, I've been waiting in line all day" The purple mare who was next in line complained.
"I'm sorry, my little pony, but the day is done." Celestia explained, flying off of her throne, towards the exit. "Go get some rest, I shall grant more requests on the morrow."
"Just fantastic," The mare yelled, a grump in her voice. She walking out of the room with a horrible look on her face.
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Location: Celestia's Study.
Time: A Few Hours Later.
"Now, to get down to business." Celestia whispered, looking over the blueprint entitled "Happy Prankday Luna!" which sat on the desk in front of her. On the blue print was a terrible sketch of what seemed to be a catapult loaded with pie. "Oh, this is going to be simply, AMAZING!" Celestia yelled, following it up with a very loud, evil laugh.
"Is something the matter princess?" a guard inquired, opening the door to Celestia's office.
The sudden intrusion caught Celestia off guard, causing her to choke on her own laugh. "No, no, everything is fine," Celestia paused, wearing a sly grin. "Everything is fine."
"Well, uh, if you say so..." The guard went back to his station, closing the door behind him.
"Man, that was cliché." Celestia commented, going back to her plans with an evil smile making its way across her face.
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Outside Canterlot, some time later.
"Are, you sure this is going to work your highness?" A old gray colt butler's suit asked, displaying concern in his voice.
"Yes, Wilfred! My plan is flawless!" Celestia answered, from atop a catapult, holding a pie in her hoofs.
"Pardon, my asking but I fail to see what part in 'Shooting yourself to the moon via catapult, just to throw a pie in your sisters face.' is flawless."
"Absolutely everything!"
"Excuse me?"
"Everything, my plan is foolproof." Celestia straightened a pair of goggles on her head. "Now, if you have nothing else to add, could we please continue!"
"As you wish," Wilfred replied, trotting over to the rope that held the catapult back, a large pair of scissors in his hoofs. He froze just before cutting the rope. "Are you absolutely-"
"Yes!" Celestia yelled with an impatient groan.
"Alright then,"
And, with that Celestia was flying through the air at an incredible speed.
Just you wait, Lu- Suddenly Celestia's jaw dropped, as finally she had finally noticed had the rope that was tied to one of her hind hoofs.
"Oh, sh-" Celestia slammed into the ground, the force of the impact shaking the earth.
"Ugh," Celestia rolled over in pain, the pie crushed on her face. She whipped it away. "Remind me never to do-" Her eye's opened in terror as she noticed yet another pie flying directly at her. "Seriously!?" She yelled, just before getting slaked in the face with another pie, the impact spreading yummy pie goodness everywhere. Celestia moaned in pain, removing the pie that was lodged to her forehead.
"Are you alright!?" Wilfred asked, galloping towards the mess that was Celestia.
"Tis’ but a scratch!" Celestia called back, knocking a note loose from the pie pan with her wobbly hooves. "What's," She read the note, "Happy Prankday Tia!" Without warning, a cartoon -styled boxing glove shot out of the pie pan, hitting her square in the face for the third time that day. Celestia's head whipped to the ground, causing her eyes to roll into the back of her head. A single thought running through her mind, You win this round Luna, as she fell into unconsciousness.
Three Months Later: Celestia's Birthday.
Year 2: Celestia's Reign.
Location: Hospital.
"Ugh, my head is still killing me." Celestia whimpered, Rolling in her bed, grasping her head in pain.
"Well, maybe if her HIGH ness would have thought before she leaped, excuse me, launched out of a catapult. She wouldn't be in such terrible condition." Wilfred scolded, from across the hospital room. He was drinking tea leaning back on a chair in a relaxed position, similar to that of a mint green mare.
"Well, maybe if I had an ADVISER who would actually advise; I wouldn't be in such pain right now." Celestia huffed, groggily getting down from her resting place, heading for the door.
"And, what do you think you’re doing?" Wilfred asked, trotting in front of Celestia, stopping her in her tracks.
"I'm just-" Wilfred cut her off with a raised hoof.
"You’re just getting back in bed; you're still very injured." Wilfred commanded, shooting Celestia a disapproving glare.
"Sorry, but I have Important matters to take care of." Celestia pushed him aside.
"You're not pulling another one of those pranks in this condition,” Wilfred reasserted himself back in front of her again. “You sisters do this every year, you two always injure one another on Your Birthdays, or Prankdays as you tend to call them, and no matter what it always, always ends in some somepony getting severely injured. If you really think what happened is my falt then let me do my job, and let me correct my mistakes. I’m your adviser, and I advice you to stay in bed and get some rest, please, I don’t want to see you hurt...again."
There was a moment of silence while the two exchanged looks...
"Fine," Celestia sighed, braking the silence. "But, only on one condition."
"And, what might that be?" Wilfred inquired, raising an eyebrow.
"You, have to prank Luna in my place." She emphasised the 'You' with a hoof to the chest, giving off a smirk.
"Alright," Wilfred lowered his head.
"It's a deal then?" Celestia spat in her hoof, and extended it for a shake.
"Yes," Wilfred said turning his vision to the spit hoof. "And no, Now, would you please get some rest."
"Okie dokie lokie!" Celestia hopped joyfully to her bed as happy as can be, until she accidentally slipped and smacked right into the bed railing. "Ump !"
...Wilfred face hoofed.
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Ten minutes later...
The door to Celestia's room swung open revealing Wilfred on the other side. "It's done." He said in a smug tone.
"Well," Celestia asked, prolonging the word as she said it.
"Well, what?" Wilfred trotted over to his chair.
"Well, what'd you do?" Celestia asked, a smile brimming with life on her face.
"I gave her a gift"
"What kind of 'gift'?" Celestia face now bestowing a smug look as well.
"I gave her a can filled with those fake little jumping party snakes..."
"What?" Celestia asked in a confused tone, her once happy look turning a frown.
"It's both safe and funny for both parties, not just the prankster."
"That has to be one the worst prank I've ever heard!" Celestia yelled, jumping down from her bed. "How in Equestia could you possible think that's funny!"Celestia’s mane ignited with furious flames.
"Doc, I think you may want to get in here." Wilfred Called, getting a bit nerves.
A Brown unicorn in a white coat entered the room. "What seems to be the prob-" He asked, just now noticing the flames shooting from Celestia's mane and tail. "Uh, nurse I'm going to need a sedative."
"Right away doctor," A white coated, pink maned mare ran to a drawer, to retrieve said sedative.
"And, what do you think you're doing?" Celestia asked, shifting her view over to the doctor.
"Oh uh, nothing." he said meekly. "I'm just-"
“Here, you are doctor.” The nurse hoofed him a syringe full of some blue liquid.
“Thank you nurse” The doctor politely replied.
“Oh really, nothing?” Celestia said, an evil look in her eyes.
“Yes, its nothi-mother of Celestia is that Batmare!?” The doctor pointed a hoof behind Celestia.
“Do you really think, I’m, that...stupid...” Celestia fell unconscious, the nurse standing behind her, syringe in hoof. The flames that once engulfed her hair, returned to their usual pink fuss ball.
“No,” The doctor replied, “But, you are easily distracted.”
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Meanwhile on the moon.
Luna had just finished building a moon igloo for her imaginary moon dust ponies. "There, you go mister and misses Trot. Your very own home!" She said, with a crazy look.
She trotted over her imaginary ponies, took hold of her hooves, and shook them around a bit. “Why, thank the princess Luna, you’re the best princess in all the land, and way better than Tia.” She said, speaking for them.
“Oh, it was no problem at all, and why yes, I am better than my sister.” Luna finished with a crazed laugh, When out of nowhere a can of beans appeared in front of the three. The sight of it caused Luna’s eyes to widen and her lips to tremble.
"By, the makers." She whispered, "FOOD !" She crushed, the pair of moon ponies that stood in her way, as she pounced on the can, chanting “Food," constantly while she did so. Grasping the can in both hooves she tore the lid off the can, only to bombarded with fake plastic snakes...
All hope in her eyes was lost. "No," she said under her breath. "No," she repeated, "You're going to pay for this Celestia, YOU'RE GOING TO PAY !" She screaming, following it up with an evil laugh, and the whole villainous lightning sky effect thing.
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Some time later, back at the hospital.
"Ugh," Celestia drunkenly woken up from her sleep. "What happened?"
"You were sedated." Wilfred answered, closing his book, (The Time Colt.)
"What do you me-" Celestia tried to raise a hoof, but found herself unable to do so. "Oh makers, I'm paralyzed!" She screamed, flailing about bed.
"No, you're not" Wilfred told her, "You're tied to the bed, to insure there won't be another incident like before." Celestia smiled sheepishly. "Now please lie down, and do try to get some rest."
Celestia give a large sigh. "Could you please untie me?" She asked, looking as tho she had given up on something.
"Now why in Equestria would I do that?"
Celestia sighed again, "Because, I will behave this time."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Alright, then" Wilfred approached to bed, and released Celestia from her restraints.
"Thank you," Celestia rubbed her bruised hoofs.
“You, can thank me by not doing that again.” Wilfred said, causing Celestia to smile sheepishly again.
Celestia was about to give her reply when there was a knock at the door, followed by a voice. "Special delivery for Miss princess." The squeaky voice said.
"Come in," Celestia replied.
The door opened and a ditsy eyed mare trotted inside. The mare was covered in tree branches and what looked like dirt."Hiya, princess- oh, you don't look to good." She said.
Well, nether do you. "Hello Derpy, it's a pleasure to see you again. Are you here on one of those vacation with that Doctor fellow again?""
"Yep," Derpy stuck her head into the saddle bag she wore around her waist, pulling out a can of beans.
"What is that?" Celestia asked, eyeing the can.
"It's a can o’ beans silly." Derpy passed her a wink.
"Right,”
"Well, here you go." Derpy tossed the can to Celestia's lap. "I really wish I could watch you open it, but I better get back before the Doc notices I'm gone."
"Quite, you mustn't ever keep that one waiting"
"I know hes really impatient sometimes."
"To say the least."
"Well, I best be going then, Bye-bye Princess!"
"See you around Derpy,"
“Not, if I see you first,”Derpy happily skipped out the door chuckling.
"So, are you going to open your gift?" Wilfred asked.
"What? So, I can have some idiotic toy snakes pop out?"
"Exactly, why not. It’s not like it’s going to hurt anypony.”
Letting out another sigh Celestia opened the can, and to her surprise it wasn't filled with fake snakes. It was filled with real ones! Three large Cobras flew out of the can, which is quite strange considering they were each around five times the size of the can itself. The Cobras attacked/latched on to Celestia.
One of the snakes thought the best course of action would be to suffocate his pray, so it coiled itself around Celestia’s neck. Well, another thought poison would do best, so it stuck its fangs into her face.As for the last one, it really liked cotton candy. He ended up chewing on her pink cotton candy mane.
“Snakes !” Celestia screamed in panic, galloping around the room. Knocking over basically anything that got in her way. "Get them off me!"
"You need to calm down Celest-" Wilfred Tried to say, before he was knocked to the floor by the rampaging princess.
"Why’d it have to be snakes, I HATE SNAKES !" She screamed, banging her head on the wall repeatedly in a attempted to break free.
"Celestia, if you don't stop this you’re going to-" Sadly Wilfred’s plea went unheard, and Celestia fell to the floor unconscious...again. This time leaving mountains of destruction and chaos in her wake.
"That will happen.” Wilfred finished.
Five months of recovery later.
Year: 02 Celestia's Reign.
Location: The royal throne room.
Date: The 1st of July.
"I'm sorry, but that will be all for today." Celestia told, the long line of ponies that stood in front of her.
The entire crowd awed and booed in dissatisfaction, before they all trotted off and dispersed, all except the mare stood at the front of the line. The mare that stood motionless before Celestia was the same exact that had lost her place at the front of the line, the last time Celestia held a day court, 5 months ago.
The unicorn mare was purple in color with a blue/dark-purple mane, and bore a strange fake gray beard around her neck. The mare wore an expression across her face that screamed 'hate' and 'death' as she made her way towards the throne, ignoring the royal guard that stood beside her.
"You're joking right?" she asked, stopping in front of the throne.
"Excuse me?" Celestia questioned, raising an eye brow at the lavender unicorn.
"This is all a joke right? I mean, once, yeah, that might happen, but Twice ?" The mare said in a crazed tone. "So, who put ya up to this huh?" She looked around the room and pointed her hoof at a suspicious looking dark coated guard that stood to the far right. "I bet it was him, he looks rather shady. Huh huh, it was him wasn't it?" She started a trot for the poor colt, but was cut off by the wings of two royal guards. "Protecting your own I see? I bet you're both part of this two!" Miraculously the crazed mare picked up both of the guards that stood in her way and throw them aside.
The sight set Celestia into motion, for she descended from her throne to meet the mare on her level. "Now, now I think we need to calm down before somepony gets hurt." Celestia said in an attempt to take control of the situation...
...It failed.
"Calm down? Calm down! " The mare turned to Celestia, wearing an even crazier look then before. "Look her miss-fat-lazy-princess that won't ever get off her fat flank for anything else then food!" The statement about her weight left a confused look on Celestia's face.
"What did you just call me?" Celestia asked, approaching the mare, making show of her huge wings in an attempted to intimidate her...
...It also failed.
"You heard me ye fat excuse for a pony!" The unicorn shouted, "Now, I suggest you sit your fat flank down and grab a quill, because you be signing these here papers," Using her magic the mare had a pile of paper appear in front of Celestia." That I've been waiting five freaking months to have approved! Or, else there's gonna tartarus to pay!"
"And, who do you think you are to make such a threat?" Celestia asked in the most Royal tone she could muster, closing in on the mare to the point that she was now mere inches away.
"Starswirl the bearded, best potter in equestia!" The mare replied, yelled and spat directly into Celestia's face.
Celestia whipped the spit off her face and replied: "Let me ask you again, who do you think you are to make such a threat?" She ended her sentence with a hoof stomp to the floor, a signal to her guards to ready there weapons. And, they did just that, all the guards in the room readied their weapons and moved to a battle position as if they where about pounce at any given moment.
The realization she was in a boat load of trouble struck the mare like lightning strikes the ground. Her eyes widened and pupils shrink, while she slowly turned her head around taking note of all the heavily armed ponies.
Oh ponyfeathers, I went and did it again.
Starswirl's face now pale as a sheep's, she slowly began a trot backwards. "I thought this was a rest room...my mistake." She said sheepishly, with a fake smile, just before hightailing it out of there.
Celestia sighed and then frowned, "This is going to be a long year..." She said, prolonging the 'long'.
Two months of royal duties,
One month in an exhaustion/stress induced coma,
25 days spent performing extra royal duties to make up for being in a coma for a month,
And five measly days spent plotting, later.
(Luna's Birthday.)
Celestia sat on her office chair, spinning it around, pondering her inevitable fall. She had spent the majority of her past nights planning and plotting a prank for her sister, but alas it all seemed for not. She couldn't seem to create any 'masterpieces' that would certainly not backfire. Sure there was a clever plan here and there, but nothing that was stood out as foolproof. The reasons for her sudden concern was not fear of injure of pain, but fear of letting her sister win... again.
"Ugh," Celestia coughed, frustrated with her inability to think of anything. "Wilfred, could you come here please."
The door creaked open and said colt, in a monkey suit, entered.
"Princess, you called?"
"Yes, please take a seat," the chair still spinning. Celestia pointed a hoof at the chair on the other side of her desk.
Wilfred did as he was told, a worried look on his face.
"Now, Wilfred, let me ask you something." He gulped at her words. "Do you have any ideas for a prank this year, because I sure as Tartarus don't." Celestia sighed.
"Oh, um, yes actually, I do."
"Really!?" Celestia jumped out of her chair in excitement; touching the floor as she immediately noticed her lack of balance. She fell to the floor with a "thump", landing right on her face. Wilfred chuckled at the sight. Celestia replied to the laughter with a mean look, which she gave from the floor in an awkward way. Wilfred bit his lip trying to suppress an even greater laugh.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes, yes, I'm fine." She got up from the floor and back into her chair, the marks the stone floor bore now etched to her skin. "Now, if you don't mind." Celestia gestured for him to continue.
"Right, my idea is that you don't do anything. She'll be anticipating something or another, so if you do nothing, it will probably drive her mad."
"You can't be serious, that's more idiotic than the stupid can of..." Celestia froze her eyes widening in sudden realization. "Beans."
"Your highness, is something the matter?"
"Neigh, everything is just perfect." An evil grin wiped across Celestia's face.
"Princess, I think you better lay down. You don't look so well."
"No no no, don't you get it?" Celestia got up from her chair, and planted her fore hooves firmly on her desk. "Beans," she said, in a slow tone, whilst wearing a smile.
"Beans?" Wilfred said, slightly confused. "Are you sure you're not injured?"
"Ugh, how are you not getting me?" Celestia put a hoof to her face. "Think about it, why would Luna react so horrible, as to send me a can of live snakes over such a harmless joke?"
"Well, you two do always trying to out do each other.So,"
"Come on, think! Why would my sister, knowing my deep hatred for snakes, do such a cruel thing?"
"Well, maybe because you banished her to the flipping moon!" Celestia shot him a glare. "Sorry,"
"No, the correct answer is: there's no food on the moon."
"Oh my," Wilfred jumped from his chair. "You're right, we must prepare something immediate- wait if there's no food on the moon, where did she get the snakes?"
The air fell short of sound.
"I don't know... Moon snakes, maybe?" Celestia shook the thought out of her head. "Look, it doesn't matter. What matters is my sister is starving!" Celestia trotted for the door. "Come, we must prepare something at once!"
"Right away, your highness." Wilfred followed suit.
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Location: Canterlot Castle's Kitchen.
"You, know? This is really nice what you're doing." Wilfred complemented, watching Celestia put the finishing touches on a cake.
"It's only natural to want to help one’s sister in her time of need." Celestia replied, trotting around her cake, as she viewed it for any imperfections.
"I know, it's just...I didn't expect that to come so naturally to you."
"Implying, I do not care for my own sister's well being." Celestia passed Wilfred yet another unhappy glare.
"It's not that you don't care, it's just that, uh, well... the timing is a bit odd."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I wouldn't have been surprised if you planned on setting the moon on fire. I mean, just earlier today, you were trying to think of what horrible things you could do to her this year, and now you're baking her a cake with your own two hooves."
"That was before I knew of the fate that had befallen her." Celestia trotted over to Wilfred, poking him in the chest with a hoof. "Could you imagine being trapped on the moon with no food? I bet she had to eat moon pies just to survive!"
"I'm glad to see this caring side of you, you should show it more often." Wilfred smiled happily. Celestia returned his with a smile of her own.
"Care to help me finish this cake?"
"Gladly."
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Luna was doing nothing to productive as she scooted along the moon on her stomach, using her hind hooves to propel her forward. She had not a care in the moon. She held no thoughts of Equestria, her sister, food, water, or even the comfy feel of a freshly made bed...
She held no thoughts at all.
Pushing ahead absent-mindedly, she noticed something different in the distance. It wasn't like what she normally saw. (The pale single shade that was the moon.) It was different, being that it was colorful and intoxicating. The sight brought some activity back into Luna's head. She perked up and picked herself up off the ground, heading for whatever that strange thing might be.
Slowly approaching the object, she gradually received a better view of it, until she could finally make out what it really was. "A birthday cake?" She said, a new found life shooting its way back into her. She galloped the fastest she could muster towards said object. Quickly, she found herself closing the gap between her and it, but as she cleared most of that length, she stopped mere inches away from it.
"Not, this time..." she said in a low tone, narrowing her eyes suspiciously at the cake. She began circling the cake, looking for anything that would seem out of place in the rich, silky deliciousness that was the cake. Its sides were laced in a purple icing that begged to be eaten. The top portion was decorated with a stunning perfect alignment of every star in the night’s sky, and at the very center of it all, was a big, appetizing full moon.
Despite the fact that her sister had yet to send her anything other than a prank, Luna slowly reached a hoof out to graze the icing layer. She closed her eyes when her hoof made contact, and snagged a small portion of the creamy purple frosting. She reopened her eye, genuinely surprised that nothing had happened...Yet.
Not listening to a word of the common sense her brain screamed at her, she raised her hoof to her mouth and licked the icing off. Again, Luna was surprised to find out that, instead of being made of dirt or poison, it was actually real, non-poisoned, icing. Luna quickly found herself unable to resist the deliciousness of the starry night cake as she began to dig her hooves into it.
Sadly, instead of actually digging into it, the cake exploded with a deafening boom, sending chunks of the once flawless cake to cover Luna and the part of the moon that surrounded her. Luna's eye twitched and her ears went flat and sad looking, her cake now destroyed and turned into tiny little chunks of... delicious cake. Suddenly, her ears perked up and she smiled at the cake mess. "Food," she said quietly, before licking her face clean in one swoop of her tongue, and diving into the smashed cake pool. She did back strokes and made angels in the one inch cake puddle, eating as she did so. Until, she came across something that didn't taste like cake.
It tasted like paper.
Luna spat the sheet out of her mouth, and unfolded the wet glob with her magic. She read the note:
"Dear Luna,
I know sometimes we don't get along, and we fight. But, I just wanted to let you know that I do care for you. To hopefully make up for all those terrible pranks I have played on you over the years, I made you this cake.
"Why a cake?" you might ask, well recently, it has come to my attention that there is no food on the moon, as it certainly does not consist of cheese. Which would mean you haven't eaten in over two years. I couldn't bear the thought of you starving, hence the cake. I do hope you enjoy it, sister, it was a blast to make.
P.S.
Happy Birthday, Lulu.
Sincerely your’s,
Celestia."
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Location: Canterlot Castle's Lounge.
Celestia sat on a red, silk throw pillow by the fireplace, indulging in sweet, sweet irony that was cake. She watched the flame trickle back and forth, finding it quite hypnotic. Almost as if the flame was calling to her. That's when the flame shot up, scorching all that was around it, including Celestia. Luckily, she had closed her eyes in the nick of time, saving them from the blast.
She quickly reopened them to assess the situation. She saw the distraught remains of her once favorite room. Although, the fire that had caused the damage had died down, it still left its make on the room. Anything within 6 feet of the blast was covered in ash, and the rest didn't fare too well either. The chairs were knocked over and ruined, the curtains torched, the priceless hoof painted portrait of Celestia herself was malted - and that's what happened to the better half of the room.
Not a sound in the room echoed, all was quiet. All but the small pile of ash that consisted of her now deceased fireplace, it gave off a nice smouldering sound to go with the room's new look.
All Celestia could do was blink at the rubble, trapped in a blank state, until she saw the sealed envelope that sat on the fireplace-ash. Snapping out of her trance, she engulfed the letter in a golden aura, and levitated it over to her. She unfolded and read the letter:
"Dear Sister,
I am writing this letter to inform you that I have received your cake, and would like to give you my thanks. The cake was simply scrumptious and explosive in taste, which made me feel wrong as to take such a cake without giving something in return. That's why I have decided on making you something myself. I do hope you will like it.
Yours truly,
Luna.
P.S.
If you're interested in your gift, look up."
"Look up?" Celestia repeated, "What could she-" Stopping mid-sentence, Celestia raced to the window, pushed it open, and brought her attention to the sky, more specifically the moon. See gagged in horror at what she saw. Displayed for all to see on the surface of the moon, "All Hail Tyrantlestia," was written. Celestia was frozen in a gaze of horror, not just because of Luna's “lies” ,but because she could hear the sound of hundreds of ponies laughter echoing from Canterlot. The sheer humiliation of it all drove Celestia into an unconscious state...
...Or, maybe it was the moon rock that impacted on her forehead.
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Meanwhile, on The Moon.
"Head shot!"
(Celestia's Birthday)
Celestia and Wilfred marched down a long stone hallway swiftly dodging anypony that stood in their path.
"Wilfred, I'm only going to have a limited amount of time to spend adhering the day-court today. I'm on a tight schedule with several other important matters that need to be upheld." Celestia informed, continuing her quick pace down the hallway
"Oh, I see. Is it your birthday already? Should, I acquire you a helmet for the occasion?" Wilfred replied with a smirk.
Celestia returned his smirk with a glare.
"Just make sure everypony knows I don't have all day to-" Celestia said, as she opened the door to the royal throne room, the scene in front of her causing her mouth to gape open and a slight pause of mental activity.
Before her was a scene of pure chaos. The once beautiful red curtains and rugs that dawned the walls and flooring of the room now laid in shreds, the windows of fine one-of-a-kind hoof blown stained glass now nothing more then dust and shards, the marble statues and busts made in her figure, the ones she spend hours posing for, reduced to mere stone, and finally her once loyal, peaceful subjects are to blame as they ravaged the room barely being contained by her royal guards.
Celestia shook her head putting away her face of bewilderment and replace it with a look of more royal stature.
"Everypony you need-" Celestia tried to calm her citizens, but through the yells and battery her voice fell on deaf ears.
"Please you all need to-" a rock broke Celestia's line of thought as it whizzed by her head missing by mere inches.
"Alright, fine." Celestia mumbled to herself, as she took to the air just enough to reach her throne. Perching her hoof firmly to her seat she huffed in a huge breath of air readying herself for the Royal Canterlot Voice.
"BE STILL! " She called-out, with as much force as she could muster. The wind from her voice throwing the manes of some ponies into complete disarray.
The room went silent, and no-pony dared to move an inch. Even her own royal guards froze in place.
"Thank you. Now, what might be the problem?" Celestia inquired, calmly positioning herself on the throne.
Instead of a calm collect response, that Celestia would have much preferred, she was met with a shook wave of incomprehensible gibberish do to the crowed of ponies all trying to talk at once.
"ONE AT A TIME, PLEASE! " She howled out again in the royal voice, this time not nearly as load as the last, but she could tell her point was still well received by the silent ponies.
Though, the silence didn't stay long for it was broken by a random voice from the crowed.
"L-like you have a right to tell me what to do!" The voice stuttered to say. "You burnt down my house...with the sun!"
"I have done no-"
"Yeah, and you dried out my garden...with the sun!" Another more feminine voice added, cutting Celestia off mid-sentence.
"My cat, lets not forget what you did to my cat...with the sun!" A voice belonging to a yellow mare added as she held up a cat that was completely vacant of any hair.
"Please, just give me a chance to-" Celestia tried to say before she was interrupted by even more random accusations.
"You, ate all my inventory!" A colt covered in pie blamed.
"You stole my wife!" A second very lonely looking colt exclaimed.
"For the love of all that is holy, why won't you sign my pottery papers!" A very familiar bearded mare cried.
"Now, now, you all just need to calm down and listen to-"
"Listen? Yeah right, we should all listen to the lying tyrant?"
"Yeah, come on everypony let's all hail and obey, Tyrantlestia!"
"Tyrantlestia!"
"Tyrantlestia!"
"Tyrantlestia!"
The crowed shouted in unison, each word pounding into Celestia's ear until she could no longer bare it. With a crazed look about her Celestia descended from the throne, and approached the crowed.
"Alright fine" She exclaimed, "It's all true. I was the one who did all those things." She said, walking past the guards and into the muzzle of the crowed in front of her. "So...what-are-you-gonna-do-about-it?" She inched closer with ever word she said, and in return the crowed inched back.
She paused for a moment as if waiting for a reply that would never come from the speechless ponies. With a sinister smile she turned away from the crowed.
"That's what I thought." She said, untethering her last words to the crowed, before she trotted for the door from which she came. But, to her surprise and everypony else's when she opened the door waiting for her on the other side was her self, another Celestia. The two Celestias stared into each others eye, the one in the throne room was shock while the one in the hall face look more dumbfounded than anything else. There was only one thing that told the princesses apart, the throne room princess had green eyes and the other possessed pink.
"This is the last time I sleep in." Was all the pink-eyed Celestia had time to say before the other her did a 180 and ran away.
"Hay," the princess called, as she began a chase after her green-eyed counterpart.
"Guards, stop her!" Green-eyes commanded, sprinting away in a full gallop.
"Who do we..?" A confused guard ask.
"Don't do anything." Pink-eyes answered, while she gained on herself.
Gaining speed the pink-eyed Celestia who quickly found herself within hooves reach of her other jumped for Green-eyes only to miss her as she took up into the air causing pink-eyes smack into to the ground. Though, she quickly recovered, and readied herself for flight. Luckily, she would not have too, because when she looked up she saw her twin come crashing down after green-eyes flew to fast and us unable to stop herself in time from flying right into the ceiling. As she fell back to earth she transformed from the magnificent image of the princess to a bug like black coated and green manned alicorn with holes streaming throughout it's hooves.
What now appeared to be the real Celestia slowly approached the fallen changeling as it cowardly hide it's face behind it's hooves.
"Do not dare enter my kingdom again." Celestia told the changeling in a harsh tone. "Got it?"
The shapeshifter nodded it's head in agreement before scrambling for the exit.
"Now, then." Celestia turned around to face the crowed the very confused ponies. "As you can see, whatever has transpired here today has been the work of changeling, and there for not mine own."
"Oh," the entire crowed said in unison except for one colt who said, "Wait, I don't have a wife." before he said, "Oh,"
"As I was saying, I would like for anypony who was harmed or experienced injustice by the changelings to please form a neat line to your right. I will try to help everypony out with whatever has gone on today to the best of my abilities."
One long line of upset ponies later.
"Is that everypony?" The princess asked in a exhausted tone. Wishing to high heaven that she was the one on the moon right now.
"Wait, wait!" Star Swirl cried, as she raced forward.
"You again?" Celestia asked, with a sigh. "What do you want?"
"If I can just have a moment of your time princess. All I need you to sign this paper legalizing my-"
"I'm sorry," Celestia descended from her chair and began a trot for the exit hallway. "But, day-court will begin again on the marrow when this whole changeling finasco has died down. Now if you don't mind I have something very important meeting scheduled for today."
"Please, I just-" The bearded mare begged.
"Good day." Celestia said, opening the door to leave, but she never does as was knock unconscious by a piece of her own broken statue as it flew through the air, right into the back of the head.
"That's what you deserve!" The mare yelled back, as she made a quick escape through the door Celestia had open and now laid.
Yesterday on the moon.
"49, and 50." Luna said happily, as she counted the last bit dropping into a bag. Which she then tied up, and handed it to a Celestia with green eyes.
"You know what to do." Luna told, 'Celestia' while nodded her head.
'Celestia' nodded in response, before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
With her plan set into motion Luna allowed herself a dastardly smile.
"Happy birthday, big sis."
(Luna's Birthday)
From the day of her imprisonment to today's date, Luna had been isolated for society for a little over two years, but that didn't stop her from assuming her role as the princess of the moon. Though, it had taken time, effort, a choreographed dance number, several montages, and a ton of murders friends, Luna managed to convince the moon ponies of the moon empire elected her as their new moon princess, replacing the old moon princess who had mysteriously disappeared two years prior.
Despite trying to mass murder her last batch loyal subjects, Luna was going to achieve something great this time around. Knowing now, what not to do as a princess having lived though it herself, Luna's first royal decree was the annihilation of all none alicorn moon ponies. A massive mistake on her part.
Had she known, she sent out earlier that day was her "Don't Do List!" instead of her actually royal decree demanding more moon pies, then maybe she wouldn't have commanded the swift execution of all her subjects. But alas, she awoke to a massacred country no longer a moon princess, but rather the last living moon pony. It seem the only good that came out of her 'improved' princess-hood was the gigantic moon castle she had the moon ponies build...
Not that she cared.
DING~
The echoing sound of a buzzer going off, had awoke Luna from her slumber atop the Royal Moon Castle's couch as she mumbling and huffing from underneath the local moon newspaper. Grasping the large slab of moon rock, know as 'newspaper' from atop her head she carefully tossed it off to the side relieving her lung and allowing her to breath once more. Able to breath again, she nuzzled back into the couch's soft moon rock cushions, unwilling to get up and face the day. Within seconds she was falling back asleep, and she just might have stayed that why had she not remembered what that buzzer meant.
"Moun hie." She mumbled, with her face still in the cushions. With a burst of energy she bolted off the couch "Moon pie!" She said again, before she stumbled off the couch, and raced towards the Royal Moon Kitchen, smiling all the while.
In a fluster she tumbled her way into the kitchen, knocking over vases and other such things as she accidentally bumped into them. She came to a halt in front of the oven. The smell of freshly cooked moon pie over taking her senses as she smelt the air around it. She licked her lips in anticipation of what was to come. Slowly, she opened the oven, the felling joy overwhelming her in the form of tears all the while.
Inside laid a moon pie that by definition was the pinnacle of perfection. Its edges were crisp but not burnt, the crust appeared puffed up and soft yet firm. Luna used her magic to create a narrow form of what usually is a cloud of her dark blue magic which she used to slice a small slit into the center of the crust confirming the softness of the crust and giving way to a view of true essence of a moon pie: the moon filling.
It was a bunch of crushed up moon rocks.
Luna licked her lips a second time her gut rumbled demanding food, it had been days since Luna had last eaten, or maybe it was a year. It was always hard to tell the passage of time on the moon. None-the-less, it had been a very long time, and Luna didn't want to wait any longer. Reaching into the oven Luna grabbed the-
"Mother of me!" Luna cried, dropping the moon pie and retracting her hoof from the oven. "Why had I not used magic!" She screamed, clutching her hoof before she stopped, dropped, and rolled to put out the fire that had ignited her hooves fur, which then ignited her whole body when she pulled her flaming hoof in to close. Needless to say she was screaming all the while. Mostly, words that are seldom spoken in pony culture.
Luckily, for her what she learned in preschool worked and she was able to smother the flames, but the fire had already done their damage. Her skin was chard, her fur in patches, cover in ash; the worst of it being her mane, or lack-there-of. Luna would have cried if she had seen her mane in such a state, good thing she couldn't.
Nothing really hurt so a starving Luna could have cared less. She raced back over to the over her eyes fixated on the moon pie inside. With a careful hoof she opened the door, this time using her magic to grab the treat inside. But apparently magic consuming fire and magic do mix, and Luna suddenly remembered why she had used her hoof in the first place. she remembered almost as suddenly as the explosion.
This time it did hurt.
Luna awoke from a brief unconscious period to the sight of ruble, more pacifically what was left of her castle. "Ugh," she groaned, as she dug herself out of it. It took a few minutes, but she was able to reach the top. Plopping her right hoof out of the ruble first she made for her left, then her head, and next rest her body.
Soon she was sitting atop her 'castle', fur scorched and cover in scratches and dust. What had she done to deserve this? It took a minute for her to realize again that she did that she used her magic as gasoline for the flames. "Oh, yeah..." She would have maybe remembered that sooner if it wasn't of the concussion she no doubt had. Though if it wasn't for the concussion somehow jogging her latent memory she wouldn't have know today was her birthday.
"Oh ye-" A letter appeared out of thin air smacking her on the head. "Oh yeah..." She said in a less then enthusiastic voice. She frowned at the letter, no doubt another Prankday present. She narrowed her eyes at the suspicious letter, then opened it anyway.
"Dear Luna,
My time is short today as Canterlot is hosting a special event to day and I'm to attended, so I'm going to keep this brief. Inside the-"
Luna stopped reading as a box fell out of the sky barely missing her head as it came to rest beside her.
"Inside the box is my gift to you. Happy birthday, Lulu.
With love, Big sis."
Luna sighed. The last time she opened a box her sister sent her a cake exploded all over her. "I hope it's another cake." Luna ripped the top of the box open and peered inside. If the down look, and frown she gave it didn't give it away, it wasn't a cake. In the box was a book, just a book. Luna gritted her teeth and lowered her eyebrows in an angry fashion. "A book!" She screamed. "A stupid book!" Luna throw her hooves into the box and ripped out the book in a fluster sending the box flying.
"The Princess in the Moon!" She read the book title mockingly. "By, Tia." Luna huffed at the name Celestia had chosen to use. "Alright, fine. Let's see what you have to say, sister!" Luna opened the book. "Chapter one!"
* * * * *
"Oh, come on!" Luna shouted. Finished with reading the book, Luna now understood why Celestia had sent it to her. The book detailed her imprisonment on the moon, but in a way that made it sound like she was the villain. The book even went as far to warn of a day she would transcend the moon each year and eat anypony she could find that didn't pay her an offer of candy, because she was such a 'fatty-fat' pony.
Luna looked at the book in disgust. "How dare she." Luna stated, throwing the book away. "I won't-" A telescope hit her in the head. "How many times is that going to happen!" She exclaimed, cradling her head tightly.
The telescope had a note attached to it: "Your going to need this."
"What now?" Luna sighed, grudgingly she picked up the telescope and set her gave upon Canterlot. In the town, ponies celebrated with nightmare themed games and costume contests. Children ran from house to house knocking on doors and receiving candy form the ponies inside. All in all, it looked like a fun time, causing Luna to smile at the though of Celestia doing something nice on her birthday. Even if it wasn't for her.
Then, she saw the children crying as they dumped all the candy inside there bags in front of a statue of Luna herself. At least, a more demented looking version of her in battle armor. Luna throw the telescope, a spite in her eyes. "How dare-" She screamed furiously, but was unable to finish as something heavy had smacked her head. It might have been the weight of what hit her or the repeat concussion she had, but she fell like a sack of bricks and tumbled down the pile of ruble. Until coming to rest on what remained of her couch, she was out like a light. She didn't even get to see what hit her...
It was a cake.