The Unicorn's Notebook

My entire body was sore from the impact and my sleep held no reverie for me. I was sore throughout the sleep and I woke up in the same position, probably hours later. It was morning and the research notebook laid next to my face, the bowl of gems splattered all over the ground. I laid on the ground for a while before hearing a door upstairs. Quickly, I retrieved the Unicorn's notebook and saw a nearby bookshelf. Snatching the first book I saw, I slapped it next to me, noticing a second after I did that it was an astronomy book. A set of hooves was heard, then stopped before turning into a gallop.

“Spike!?” Twilight's voice frantically called out as she leaned down next to me.

I mumbled words, which could be considered good acting. I was just unable to move my entire body. I couldn't feel any of my limbs in the sense that I couldn't move them, but I could feel it when Twilight touched me.

“Spike, are you okay!?” she frantically asked, scooping me up.

“Hnng, berry jewel pancake bladder,” I said.

No, I said 'very painful stinging in my body,' I thought.

“Talk to me! What happened?” She caressed my face with one hoof while the foreleg wrapped around me prodded my torso. “Your entire body is limp, I think you may have had a neck injury. Can you feel my touching?”

I nodded my head and she sighed. She leaned her head forward, touched her horn to the tip of my spines, and it lit up. I felt my entire body enveloped in a calm aura reminiscent of a warm bath or soft bed. It was like I was being soaked, yet dry at the same time. It was pleasant... for a second.

Extreme pain shot through my body, but no scream came. It focused not in my neck, but in my head. The same place where I've had that nagging feeling and where that sharp pain drove itself into my body.

“MOMMY!” I shouted the instant I could. “I think my spine just quit on me!”

“Spike, I was correct. You had a neck injury, and the injury itself was something you should have felt it somewhere inside your head, correct?” Twilight asked. Blinking, I nodded dumbly. Twilight smiled, but it quickly faded. “Simply... oddly enough, it wasn't caused by the impact. The area with the most damage was inside your head. I don't know what it was, but if I waited any longer, it could have been fatal.”

I stared up at her with an open mouth. “Mother, I have no idea what you're saying. To me, it sounds like I've had some mystery injury in my brain that started a while ago and was screwing me over.”

“Precisely,” Twilight said, lifting me up to my feet. “I'd also appreciate if you never said that word again.”

Rubbing my temples, I looked around the room before facing Twilight again. “So how did it happen?”

Twilight shrugged, and I sighed. “I'm not sure. It may have been from an injury such as a hit to the head or neck... or maybe even magical.” Twilight froze up the instant she said that and covered her mouth. Glancing up to her, I raised an eyebrow out of curiosity and she looked down to me. “H... how do you feel?”

I stood up, shook myself off, and looked at the gems. “I feel fine, I guess.” Scooping up the bowl of gems, I began munching on them once more. “Never better, actually.” The Death Note business still freaks me the hell out. That's when I decided to take a break; rest easy, for a change.

“Mother, I think I'm gonna take a break for a while. Maybe walk around Ponyville,” I said, stretching.

Her face lost it's nervous glimmer and she awkwardly smiled at me, nodding. The atmosphere of the library at the moment was thick and heavy, reminiscent of severe tension. I gulped, practically tasting it; the lack of a response rusted into my mind, leaving an imprint that something was off. For the sake of my upcoming day, I ignored the odd feeling.

“Okay.” She looked around quickly as I picked up the other book. “S-so, you're reading an astronomy book?”

I looked down at it, realizing once more that it was astronomy. I looked at her and sheepishly grinned, nodding.

“Yeah, I just love me some astronomy, mommy,” I said, jamming the book back into the shelf.

Twilight winced as I did, much to my amusement, and I patted her on the head. She sighed, standing up and heading towards the stairs. Taking in the smell of the oak-scented air, I stashed the bowl in the kitchen and opened the door.

“Be back by 9:30 PM!” Twilight's voice echoed from upstairs.

“Gotcha,” I shouted back before stepping into the crispy morning air.

[*][*][*]

Strolling into town, I mindlessly noticed that there was some kind of fair being set up. I only returned days prior, so I had no idea... but it would have been nice to know sooner. I had my bits hidden away the same way I held books and papers now. The practice really payed off for my skill to the point where this is simple and easy for most small objects. Still don't know how babies fare.

Nonetheless, I saw that the attractions and rides was a simple Fall Fair. In several days, we'd have to deal with the Running of the Leaves again. I saw this as an ample opportunity to woo Rarity, so I made haste towards the Carousel Boutique... before I realized it was seven in the morning. I stopped just short of her doormat, and slapped myself before turning around.

Strolling through Ponyville, I relished in the scent of fall; wet and/or burning leaves, maple being exposed, and the sounds of rustling leaves etched itself into my mind. This was one of they joys of coming to Ponyville; the nature. I automatically headed for the park and sat down on the same bench from before. I leaned back, allowing my head to tip over the back. The skies were being cleared by several Pegasi from the Weather Team, minus Rainbow Dash. I spotted Halcyon Blind stopping as he bucked a cloud from existence. He leaned back on one cloud and looked over the edge, meeting my gaze.

He nodded at me and I did the same and before I could register, he angled his forelegs in a position that one could snap another pony's neck in, and twisted it. When I did register the gesture, I raised an eyebrow, mentally noting how cryptic the scene was. Looking down revealed the school, more visible as leaves fell to the ground. The bell rang once more, confusing me. Looking back up at the skies, the sun was much higher in the sky. I blinked as I saw the skies completely void of Pegasi, inhabited by rebel balloons floating away from the grasp of children. Looking down, foals and fillies flooded out of the school.

“Hey, friend,” the familiar crisp voice sounded next to me.

Looking to the right, Halcyon Blind sat down next to me, holding the same cup of coffee from before. Raising an eyebrow, I blinked several times and as I opened my mouth to say hi, I yawned.

“Hi,” I responded. Looking back to the school, it was already void of life, replaced by dust and echoed screams. I turned back to Halcyon and stared him down. “So, uh, what was that... thingy from earlier today?”

“Hmm?” He took a sip of his drink.

Slurp. That goddamn slurping noise was starting to get to me... but so was nature, and sounds of joy. Happy screams and cries of joy radiated through the atmosphere and for some reason, they seemed louder than normal. I found myself falling to the side, but I shook my head and faced Halcyon again.

“That thingy you did on the cloud,” I said, hearing my voice crack.

I must be tired.

“I don't know what you're talking about, friend.” He took another sip. “Well, anyways, there's some fair today. You gonna go to it?”

Nodding, I rubbed my heavy eyelids. “Yeah, what about you? Taking Featherweight and your girlfriend?”

He shook his head. “No. Well, sorta. Featherweight wanted to stay home. I'm merely taking my girlfriend.” He looked away, looking to the skies with a solemn look. “His father died several months ago. A rainstorm caused him to take temporary shelter under a scaffolding. Part of the roof broke off, and, well . . . tragedy.”

I felt my eyes arching upwards, guilt hitting my consciousness. Whenever you hear a sad tale, one always feels guilt and pity. I looked down between my legs towards the dirt ground. I felt myself nodding off slightly from the lack of sleep. I shook my head and looked up to him.

“I'm taking my marefriend to it, at least I hope.” If she's not angry at me.

“Young love is nice,” he said. With a quick crumple of the cup, he threw it into a nearby trash bin and stood up. “Well, I'll see you around, friend.”

I waved at him, not bothering with a goodbye. He nodded and took off into the sky, leaving here on my lonesome.

He seems weird, I thought, biting my lip.

[*][*][*]

Discovering I slept until 3 pm, I strolled towards the Carousel Boutique and knocked on the door without hesitation. Within seconds, Rarity threw open the door, swooped me up into her forehead, and peppered me with kisses.

Actually, that was just a daydream. In reality, I knocked on the door, staggered to the ground, and was dragged in by Sweetie Belle. She slapped my cheek until I realized what was happening. Sitting on a couch, with an odd feeling in my mind. I looked around as if I was being watched.

“Spike, what are you doing?” Sweetie asked, waving a hoof in my face.

Yeah, what was I doing? I shook my head and focused on her. “Hey, uh, is Rarity here?”

Sweetie Belle hopped off the couch and shook her head. “Mm, nope. She left to the fair to find you,” she said.

Slapping myself in the face, I sighed coarsely, dragging my fingers down my face.

“Ugh, today isn't straightforward at all.” I slid off the edge and ran towards the door, sliding to a stop. Doing one last turn, I faced Sweetie Belle. “Aren't you going?”

“Mmm, nope. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo aren't, so I don't see why I should,” Sweetie responded.

I looked out the door before sighing. “Sweetie Belle, you could come with Rarity and I. I mean, she is your sister. You HAVE to have some fun.”

Immediately, her face lit up and she hopped in the air. “REALLY!?” she shrieked, much to my pain. “YAY!” She galloped out the door, leaving me in my daze.

I quickly closed the door and followed the dust trail that was once Sweetie Belle. Running was rather... odd, today. The constant paranoia of being watched etched itself into my mind recently, and the odd encounter with Halcyon Blind was rather unnerving. Passing through Ponyville's barren streets with only the cries of joy to differentiate the atmosphere... it was chilling in a way that can only be described as a graveyard. Ominously laughing children, barren streets and faint music.

I saw Sweetie Belle bouncing up and down next to Rarity, both whom had their eyes set on a ring tossing game. I ran over there, stopping next to the two of them.

“Why, hello, darling,” Rarity beamed as she saw me.

Turning to face her, I gave her a quick hug and faced the game. “Tried this yet?”

“Yes I have, and it's hooves-only game, so I'm not faring too well,” she said. I turned to it, smugly smirking at the owner of the stand, and cracked my fingers. “Spike, I don't mean to be rude or insulting, but are you eating well? You look skinnier than usual.”

I picked up a ring after dropping up a bit and took a step back. Five pegs, and I had to score all five rings on each of them; the pegs varied in width to make getting a ring on that much harder. I held my hand up, lining up the ring with the first peg. Gritting my teeth, I gave a quick flick of my wrist and launched the faded green ring towards the skinny peg, scoring easily. I quickly snatched up the next ring and effortlessly tossed it onto the next peg.

“Spike?”

Peg number three was larger in width, but it should be simple enough. The ring itself was smaller, and lining it up with both hands, I flicked my wrists and it sailed through the air, landing absolutely perfectly on the peg. No clang whatsoever. The fourth peg was the same size dealing with the same ring, and I picked up another. I felt the pressure hit my mind as-

“Spike, listen to me!” Rarity said with a raised voice, shaking my arm. I looked over to her, feeling my eyes dry up a bit. I quickly rubbed them, allowing my burden-heavy eyelids close as I did. “Look at yourself. I mean no offence, Spikey-wikey, but you look absolutely awful. Droopy eyes, losing weight; it's as if you haven't slept in days,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone.

I chuckled, waving the ring at her. “Rarity, you're a smart mare,” I said, flicking the ring blindly. A satisfying click made my smirk grow and I leaned forward, pecking Rarity on the forehead. “Don't worry, I've just had some rough sleep. I spent a month in a tent, getting up irregularly. I just need to adjust.”

Rarity frowned and opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Sweetie Belle merely watched us and I quickly picked up the last ring. Rarity sighed, leaning in and stood next to me.

“Alright, so when I win, what do I get?” I asked.

“Aha, our boy here is awfully cocky. I'll tell you what you'll win: the Grim Reaper!” the stand runner said, levitating a large, stuffed pony skeleton with a black hood and shoddily sewn-on scythe. Rarity shifted next to me akin to a surprised/nervous shock, but I shrugged.

“A'ight then,” I said, twirling the last ring on my fingers. “This one's for you, God of Death.”

I bent my knees, jumped to a standing position, and flicked the final ring forward. It spun through the air, sending worry into my mind. This ring was even smaller and the peg was fitted so you had to get it dead on. Feeling my cockiness dying out in a millisecond was scary, but it was worth it. A click and shuffling sound caused my eyes to lock onto the peg, and the ring slid on with a cool sound.

“HYES!” I shouted, doing a quick hop.

“Wow, congrats, kid,” the manager said. He levitated the Grim Reaper toy down and I greedily snatched it. “Have a nice day.”

I waved as Rarity, Sweetie Belle and I turned away. We proceeded down the street, Sweetie Belle getting excited over every stand. Rarity kept casting uneasy glances towards me. It's probably just her being worried. I'll be fine.

[*][*][*]

We spent the next half hour playing the small-time games the fair had to offer, such as bobbing for apples, other ring tosses, or fishing. Won several small prizes, and the always ecstatic Sweetie Belle proved to be an expert at the crane game. She won seventeen times trying to get a diamond-shaped pillow before the owner just gave it to her. Glad, too; she was using up all my coins.

Rarity soon stopped giving me the nervous glances as she began to indulge in the festivities. We haven't even gotten to any rides yet and we're already having the time of our lives, just like a family.

Family . . . Featherweight's family was torn apart by that accident. What about that accident bugs me so much? I looked down the street over the mass of ponies, and spotted Halcyon Blind trudging through the crowd. He saw me and smiled as I waved him over.

“Rarity, there's somepony I'd like you to meet,” I said.

Turning to my side, Rarity and Sweetie Belle were gone. I saw them galloping in the distance towards another stand that Pinkie Pie waved them over to. I'm certain Rarity told me to wait, but I shrugged it off. I was too tired to get mopey.

“Hello, friend!” Halcyon said, panting. His face bore a large smile and he allowed himself a moment to catch his breath. “How goes the festivities?”

“Good, so far. How about you? Found your would-be wife?” I asked, eating a piece of cotton candy.

“Yeah, but I think she's mad at me. She's been giving me the cold shoulder. Ah well, she had to leave for a bit, but she'll be back,” he said, stretching his limbs.

“I know what that feels like,” I said, thinking to how Rarity kicked me out. “Don't worry, if you love her, things will be fine.”

“Wise words from a wise old dragon. What else can you teach me, o great master,” Halcyon said, doing a mock bow.

I snickered. “Get up before you embarrass us both,” I chortled.

He shook off laughter and his neck twitched once more. He scratched his head in a spot that seemed to have an orange tint to his mane. Ponies streaking their manes was nothing new, but he doesn't seem like the type... and the patch was rectangular. It was completely odd, but, well, who am I to question pony choices?

“Ha, so anyways, since we were both ditched, apparently, what say we both go grab a quick ride on one of the non-female rides?” Halcyon offered.

I raised an eyebrow, frowning as I looked up. He waved a hoof over and we proceeded towards a portion of the fair filled with rides. After a minute, we came to what looked to be a Haunted House. I shrugged, since Nightmare Night was close.

“You have to be older than a colt,” he said, stretching his wings and craning his neck.

“And then there's me,” I said, chuckling.

“Heh, yup.”

We strolled to the front gates with no lines and stopped in front of them as the attendant looked at us with sheer boredom reflecting off his eyes. He pulled out a stamp and both Halcyon and I extended a hoof/hand. A quick stamp later and we were on our way. We entered the front, hearing some cliché howling wolves and evil laughing. We snickered at the childlike entrance before I asked myself why we came here. Shrugging, we walked down a long, creaky corridor. Another cliché, but before we could snicker at it, a sudden shriek sounded below us and the floor gave way. We both yelped in terror and surprise, landing in a rather soft area. Foam blocks in a small pool, perhaps or...

I opened my eyes, the room being illuminated only by several black lights. The so-called “foam blocks” weren't blocks at all. The substance? I'm not sure, maybe something based on cotton candy. Either way, it felt stick, yet wasn't. Being typical ponies and dragons, we had panic enter our systems and we began tossing “foam blocks” away as we dove out of the pool, landing on the ground next to it. Looking up, the short drop was... several stories high.

We stopped facing upwards and allowed our eyes to adjust. Quickly, we saw the hallway was entirely composed of what appeared to be jelly. Chalking it up to Unicorn magic, we progressed, slight shivers down our spines.

“It has only been a few seconds and I'm about ready to call the safety word,” Halcyon Blind said through stuttering teeth.

“What safety word!? We're stuck in here!” I shouted, jogging down the hallway.

The clopping of hooves confirmed that he just shut up and we paced down the  hallway, seeing the exit just ahead... and it never seemed to get closer. It was as if the hallway never ended. That's when I actually felt panic. Adrenaline spiked through my body and I ran faster than I ever have before, huffing and breathing irregularly with panicked cries as I completely forgot that I was supposed to be safe. These guys are good.

I completely forgot about Halcyon, fearing only for my own safety. It wasn't long before the spell keeping the hall from ending seemed to end and I slammed into the door, breaking it off its hinges. I landed on the ground, grunting as the wind left my lungs. Halcyon Blind tackled over me and rolled ahead. We both quickly shook our heads, standing up. The door below me was gone, and so was the doorway. Looking ahead, we stepped forward to find a railing for a balcony. Above was the starry skies, and below was another balcony, showing us. It was certainly odd, looking at myself, and unnerving all the same. We moved the exact same, similar to a mirror.

What the hell about this is relaxing!? I berated myself on my so-called “plan” to relax today.

Halcyon was chattering like a cartoon character in a Nightmare Night cartoon. I was close to that, focusing on my heartbeat instead. Below, something akin to Nightmare Moon slithered out from below our balcony and seemed to approach us. We both let out shrieks and spun around to see the dreaded night terror, only to find ourselves facing a building.

“Holy fu... I m-mean, this is j-just a fall f-fair attraction,” I stuttered.

I got no response, or even chattering. Looking to Halcyon, he wasn't next to me. We appeared to be in a part of Ponyville, and Halcyon Blind stood under several scaffolding stacks next to a building. The rain must have caused him to take shelter.

“Spike, come outta the rain,” he shouted with a voice crack.

They began to crack and I panicked once more. I dashed forward and shoved Halcyon Blind out of the way, just as the scaffolding came down. I was never hit by any metal or wood. It was an illusion... but I turned to face Halcyon.

He stood up, a crack sounded, and a plank of wood fell down and landed on his skull. For some reason, I exploded. Not physically, but mentally. My mind just stopped coherent thoughts and I stared at the sight in front of me. A Pegasus with a dirty blond mane and a plank of wood lodged into his skull with blood over the ground. It even splattered onto my body. My arm was extended, coated in blood to the point where it was dripping.

I killed him.

That voice sounded through my head. The voice was familiar, but it hit me hard. Halcyon Blind was dead, and now, it's going to be blamed on me. This whole scene seemed familiar, and was eerily similar to how the descriptions of that Golden Shutter fellow died.

I killed him.

Ignoring the crying skies or crumpling world, I fell to the ground, allowing the tears (or was it rain?) to fall down my face as I curled up and silently begged for Twilight's presence.

I killed him... but why am I so dependant on mom? Twilight can't protect me forever.

In a mere second, I was no longer wet, coated in blood, or lying in the rainy streets of Ponyville. I was lying in a recovery bed at a nurse tent in the fair, a blanket draped over me. The first thing I saw was the metal pole holding up the temporary office. Now conscious, I sniffed the air, detecting that fall smell as well as the sickly smell of a sanitary hospital. My claws trailed up my sides, taking in the texture of the silky sheet coating me. Bringing a claw up, I touched my face, feeling warm and normal. I tilted my head to the right since the light was coming from there, and Rarity, Sweetie Belle and Twilight were there. Halcyon Blind wasn't.

“Mother...”

Twilight's attention snapped from her zoning and she leaned against the bed, looking down at me. Rarity did the same, but it was a lot more physical; she leaned her body against mine, although not unpleasantly.

“Spike, thank Celestia... you had us worried. You passed out in a haunted house,” Twilight said, rubbing my cheek. “Well, not passed out. You were conscious, but not aware.”

“Darling, I was merely going to speak to Pinkie Pie for a few minutes, and then you go out and do this? You musn't scare us like that!” Rarity dramatically said, giving me a quick therapeutic massage on my torso.

“Hehe, you touched my belly,” I said in a daze.

“Oh, Spikey...” Rarity said, leaning her head gently against my stomach.

Twilight hugged me while Sweetie Belle sat back awkwardly. I reached out and wrapped a hoof around her body, bring her in and I hugged all three of them... but I wasn't “there.”

I killed him.

[*][*][*]

The day progressed where us as a group progressed to each ride, enjoying each others companies. Come nightfall, the entire group approached the Carousel Boutique. Twilight was led in by Sweetie Belle in an attempt to gather opinions on a “dress.” I stopped Rarity outside the door.

“I'd go in, but I haven't stopped, yet,” I whispered.

Rarity smiled at me solemnly, yet still managed to be heartwarming. Probably the lighting on her face, but I reached a hand up, caressing her cheek.

“I'm sorry, but I really can't let go of this issue... at least not of my own accord. I keep thinking about it, and I desperately want that closure,” I said.

Her smile disappeared and her look was that of pity. With a simple action, she reached a hoof up and removed my claw from her cheek. Confused at first, I looked at her and attempted to speak, but I never said anything. She turned away, stepped into the door, and tilted her head. I couldn't see her face behind that mane, but I don't think I'd want to.

“I don't think we should see each other, then,” she said quietly.

Before I could argue, she stepped in and closed the door, calmly, swiftly. It was such a short, five second moment, but it triggered an odd sensation. One of the most powerful things I've ever felt in my life.

I spun around, and walked home, just as it started raining. It was thirty minutes before I had released my anger on a bush. I didn't go straight home, I wandered through Ponyville, arriving at the outskirts of the town. I paced in one area, thinking before I released my flame breath on a large bush. I had calmed down shortly after, but stayed to make sure the fire would burn out. I sat on a stump roadside, looking down the path back to Ponyville, before looking the other way that led to the area below Cloudsdale.

I continued to sit there, the bush having burnt out half an hour prior. I continued to think, the urge to cry had risen the moment the flame went out as if synchronized with my anger. I thought long, and I thought hard.

I was supposed to discover the truth. My friends won't help me, but why? Why don't they want this unlocked? Was it so bad that they don't want it to be revealed?

I ran home, desperate to think this through alone... but it didn't last long. I stopped running and stood in the rain. I tensed up my body, shoulders raised to my head. I shivered, not from the rain, but from the eventual outburst. I had to cry, and nothing was going to stop me.

I wanted to see that notebook, the notebook written by my so-called mother. I quickly belched out the pink notebook. My brow bent, and I felt the wild growl in my throat trying to escape. I looked over to a nearby trash bin, then back at the gift box. I opened my mouth to release a breath I involuntarily held in, and that was it.

I roared like a dragon would. Loud. Wild. Fearsome. I twisted my body to the side, setting one foot forward while I yanked the hand holding the notebook behind my head, continuing my roar while I tossed it as hard as possible in the general direction of the trash bin. My eyes stung with water, and I still don't know if it was the rain or tears. Either way, I started wailing.

“Rarity! No! This isn't how we're supposed! I'm just-” I wasn't even speaking coherent sentences, but I didn't care. I looked up, hoping to trick myself into believing I wasn't crying and the rain was the cause of the stinging, but it failed. “I love you!” I shouted, looking back to the ground to hide my shameful eyes from no-one in particular. In the corner of my eyes, I saw the notebook, the cover being washed clean of the coffee stains.

I slumped towards it, forgetting my hate. I needed this book. I can't run from it. I have to discover it... or I will never sleep again. Then again, I haven't already, have I? I've always had a terrible sleep. Sleep. . .

[*][*][*]

Once home, I retrieved my bowl of jewels and stashed myself in the windowsill once more. The notebook sat on my lap, but I never opened it. I merely examined the cover: the faded ink; the faint coffee stains. It seemed... “out there.” I leaned back, thinking back to earlier.

Nagging in my head when I saw several areas in Ponyville. The street where that Golden Shutter pony died was so... familiar, and I think it was where Halcyon Blind died in that screwed-up hallucination.

As a grand revelation would, my eyes widened and my jaw dropped.

It was no accident! That's right! It was murder! The whole “Death Note” issue was at play. The notebook that could kill just by name and face. The notes relating to Rarity, Golden Shutter must have done something to Rarity. According to Halcyon Blind, Golden Shutter was a father, of Featherweight, and was planning to propose. No, that was Halcyon Blind... or, I don't know. Either way, a list of ponies that died were classified as under “close to Rarity” in mother's notes. And the hallucination from earlier... Golden Shutter must be brothers with Halcyon Blind! That explains the similarities! But even more important, I remember! I was there when Golden Shutter died!

... and I killed him...?