Changed(old edition. this is terrible)

Well… this was an interesting turn around. One moment, I am walking back to Twilight’s castle after a really quick mail run, to waking up in a cave. The cave was sealed off with… prison bars and had a small cot for me to lay on. There wasn’t a sink or toilet, so that’s pretty cool, I’m in jail again. Did I accidentally kick a toddler on a mailrun? Did somebody think I stole a paycheck that was in the mail? Did I kill somebody while I was sleeping?

Maybe keeping a Timberwolf was illegal.

There were… two Changelings, both wearing helmets, and seemed to be my guards. Well, I wasn’t in Canterlot, or maybe Twilight just had a couple Changeling guards as pets? No, that wasn’t likely, I would’ve known. “Yo, how’s it going fellow Changelings? Can I ask why you guys stuck me in jail? Did I call Queen Chrysalis ugly by accident?” I asked. Neither guard paid heed to me, so I was left hanging, to guess what the fuck was happening.

“Ah, Ray. I was wondering when that knock out spell would wear off,” that voice. It was Chrysalis. “First, I would like to apologize for imprisoning you, but this is rather necessary. I can’t have you run back to Ponyville, or else I would lose my leverage,” she said calmly. I blinked a couple times and tilted my head as the Queen revealed herself. “Well, I won’t harm you, but there is a score I would like to settle with the Sunbutt and Moonbutt. I hope you understand.

“And if neither of them notice that you are missing, then I will simply keep you. I have always wanted to raise my own drone, you may be a teenager, but I can still claim you as my own. As for where we are, we are in the Hive, welcome!” Chrysalis said in a cheerful tone. “So, how are things going, Ray?” You sack of shite, Chrysalis. I groaned and shut my mouth before I swore at a lady who could decapitate me in mere moments.

“What is with all you old women? First, The goddess of the Fucking Sun locks me up in an alien world? Goddess of the Moon then treats me like I am her child, and then her sibling. And now you, Queen, you kidnap me and stick me in a cage?” I facepalmed. “So you’re angry with Celestia, and you mean to tell me that I’m a crucial piece of your master plan?” I yell. “Like feckin’ hell, if you hate Celestia that much, why not teleport into her bedroom and slit her throat?” I asked.

“That… I could’ve done that?” Chrysalis asked.

“What. The. Actual. Fuck?” I sighed. “You have a vendetta against the princesses,” Chrysalis nodded. “And it didn’t occur to you that you could’ve killed any of them in their sleep?” I took a moment to call myself down. “Actually, if you do end up trying to kill the rulers of Equestria, can you leave Luna alone? I kinda wanna keep her. She’s like that older sister I never had, and she’s pretty nice,” I said.

“Well, I could kill Moonbutt in her sleep, but where is the fun if I don’t cut your head off in front of her?” Chrysalis asked. “I’ll even let you two go on about how romantically in love you two are to each other before I do it too. Then it will be even sweeter to see Princess Luna, Mare of Dusk, the Nightmare Moon cry when I kick your head aside, Ray.” Now Chrysalis’s voice sounded dark and cold, completely void of the motherly feel it had when she wasn’t threatening my life.

Fuck it, I’m probably gonna die, so I might as well crack a few jokes before then.

“Well, wouldn’t that be a cool rumor? Princess Luna, the prestigious Princess of the night… in love with a Changeling? That sounds like a fun love story.” I grinned. “I wonder…” actually, that would be a bit crude, wouldn’t it? To wonder how your adoptive sister or brother did in bed. That… would be almost as fucked up as trying to date people you’re actually related to, as in ‘from the same mother’ related. Also, I don’t think I’d want to sleep with Luna.

“Sleeping with Luna is quite fun though,” Chrysalis looked slightly jarred by that. “I mean, Luna does make for a really, really nice pillow. Great cuddles, and she comes with preinstalled blankets, also known as a pair of wings,” I was having too much fun with this. Chrysalis was now beginning to look kind of confused.

“I never knew you enjoyed the company of that old hag so much. Is it common back where you come from… to mate with your adoptive mother?” Chrysalis asked. The coldness in her voice dropped. Oh Chryssy, you stupid, stupid bug. Wait, how did this lady coordinate a kidnapping on me, but not get that I was being sarcastic? Was Queen Chrysalis really dumb, or could she not tell that I was using some dry sarcasm. Changelings can feel what other Changelings are feeling, right?

“Well, yeah. It’s kinda common, but it’s more common for us humans to try and mate with our biological mothers. Helps keep the bloodline nice, pure, and 100% Ray Family Line blood. It’s also helpful for growing a third arm, being born an eye short, and being riddled with health problems… we could solve this issue by not mating with our immediate family, but we gotta keep the Ray Family Tree very close and tight knit, y’know?” Chrysalis’s eye twitched a couple times.

(Queen Chrysalis’s POV)

Okay… what the heck. Ray was now talking about humans, which I’m assuming was what he was before he ended up in Equestria. What kind of creatures were those things? Mating with their own mother? The worst part was, I couldn’t tell if Ray was joking or not. With how Ray wasn’t completely a Changeling, I figured I could sense his emotions, but I couldn’t. Just like how Changelings are with each other.

We can’t sense the emotions of our fellow Changelings.

Maybe keeping Ray is a bad idea, and if Sting manages to not get caught while replacing Ray, I’ll just kill Ray. He has the mind of a human, who was holding a perfectly straight face while talking about how he would mate with his mother, and possibly Princess Luna, his adoptive mother! If I keep him, he’ll end up staring at my flank for all the wrong reasons, and…

Okay, I hope Sting gets found. At least Equestria will be free from this disgusting creature, and I’ll be ruler of Equestria too! Before another word could leave this wretched being’s mouth, I turned and headed towards the exit. I needed to lay down and possibly chug one of the bottles of wine I stole from the Princess’s wine cellar… Sunbutt’s security sucked.

Why didn’t I just go and do what Ray suggested? Kill an alicorn in their sleep. It was pretty easy to do, after all. Instead, now I get this little brat, who before I knew about his preferences on mates, wasn’t all that bad to be around. It really didn’t help that Changeling drones had cold, near-lifeless eyes, which were usually void of emotion because of how little individuality I gave them. Ray also had those near lifeless eyes, but there seemed to be… a bit of a glimmer to them, while also being slightly off in color. That… was a bit odd, they were a normal shade of blue a moment ago.

Well, I might as well mobilize a small army and bring Ray, I might as well put my original plan into use.

(Luna’s POV)

I glared at the unconscious Changeling as he began to stir, this little drone, this fiend, is responsible for Ray’s disappearance. “Urgh… what hit me?” The Changeling asked, now fully conscious, even if he was a bit dazed from hitting his head. He had been out for the entire night. My eyes began to droop a little, as I entirely skipped out on one of my power naps to make sure to be around when he had awoken, but a nice, large pot of coffee kept me from outright falling unconscious. My sister had failed in retrieving Shining Armor, as turning an entire train around was impractical and completely ruined the complex railway system Equestria had in place.

So now I must wait for Princess Celestia, as she was well trained in the art of interrogation, or was better at it than myself. My methods… were rather blunt to put it lightly, and my attempts at interrogation, especially while I am as angry as I am right now, can result in a Changeling shaped hole in the wall, and a dead Changeling. The Changeling found himself unable to move his limbs, wings, or even use magic as he was entirely bound up and had a magic limiting ring on his horn. He raised his head and turned to me, eyes wide in alarm… They were now orange.

Well, that was another Changeling eye Color Code, or CCC for short, that Twilight would be delighted to know about.

“Greetings… may I know your name, or would you prefer being called ‘Pest’ for the remainder of your imprisonment. The Changeling remained silent for a few moments. Before opening his mouth.

“My name is… Sting Ray, just call me Sting,” he answered. So either this drone was convinced that he could still easily deceive me, or this was our universe’s equivalent of Ray, which was very likely. I’ll play along for now, Pest.

“Now we must wait for my sister to come.” On que, Celestia teleported into the room, wings flared, and she had a slight frown on her face. Like myself, she was a little angry about Ray going missing, as she did actually care about him(much to Ray’s firm belief that she didn’t), and would also like to have our Changeling retrieved as soon as possible. “So sister, has Twilight retrieved any other information on Changelings beyond what information we could gather on Ray?” I asked.

“Unfortunately not, Changelings were only legends before the Canterlot Invasion, which truly confirmed they existed. In a sense, they would be quite similar to what Ray would describe as Bigfoot before that event; elusive, hard to prove they exist, and had plenty of witnesses. Unlike what Ray has said about Bigfoot, Changelings are very much real… even if the Sasquatches matched a very similar appearance to what Ray described of his home’s cryptids.” My sister then turned to our prisoner with a warm smile. “Now, I believe we have much to discuss…”

“His name is Sting Ray.”

(Sting’s POV)

“This is Queen Chrysalis speaking, Sting Ray, if you have been caught, tell the Princesses of my location. I am currently on my way to Ponyville with a small army of soldiers and the drone you have captured. Tell Sunbutt and Moonbutt, or just Starbutt to meet me by the Town Hall, alone, and if they do not heed to this demand, their Changeling will die on the spot,” Queen Chrysalis rang through the Hive Mind. I responded with a quick mental ‘yes ma'am’ and turned my attention to Princess Celestia.

“So, Sting Ray, may I know of any personal interests, hobbies, family that you may have?” Sunbutt asked. What kind of interrogation tactic was that? Being nice and friendly? I could even feel a sliver of friendship being sent my way, which… felt so different from Moonbutt’s initial interrogation of me when she found out that I had replaced Ray. “Well? Are you going to give me the silent treatment? That would be quite rude, Mr. Sting.”

“Chrysalis has your stupid Changeling, she’s coming here, to Ponyville, with the defective drone. She wants you and Moobutt to come to the Town Hall, with no guards, alone. No Elements of Harmony, no weapons. Just you both alone. And… Ray will be beheaded if you do not meet those demands,” I said before shrugging. “That is what the Queen has told me to say, and… I have served my purpose to the Hive. Feel free to execute me if you wish,” I closed my eyes and waited for anticipation of a sharp pain, a cold feeling, anything really.

A yellow flash occurred, and my eyes flicked open. Before me was Starbutt, looking somewhat confused, with large bags under her eyes, being instructed to keep an eye on me. The Royal Sisters then gave their regards to Starbutt, and walked out the doors of my… prison, wings flared. Queen Chrysalis is going to flatten them and suck the life from their dead bodies. Well, now Starbutt will be watching me, that will be fun… she was a nice shade of purple at least, way more pleasant to look at than the white coat of Sunbutt, or the dark blue coat of Moonbutt.

(Ray’s POV)

You know, being bound up by ropes, and being suspended in the air before a crowd, in front of Ponyville's Town Hall wasn’t too uncomfortable. Sure, there was a Changeling Queen, and a Changeling soldier with a hatchet standing nearby, but this was a rather pleasant feeling. I felt… like a burrito, even if I would prefer to have that feeling of ‘burrito’ while wrapped in a bunch of blankets during the winter. Well, at least I managed to work the ways of the dirty human mind onto Queen Chrysalis, and now she gave me a disgusted look whenever she looked at me.

Hey, if I was gonna die, I might as well spite her and ruin her brain.

“Y’know, you could’ve not kidnapped me, and we could’ve been best friends,” I said to the Queen as she glared at me. “I mean, you weren’t too shabby for a bug standing about… what? 6ft tall, that could easily pop my head off like a bottle cap. You’re actually kinda… pleasant to be around when you aren’t trying to use me to take some petty revenge on a couple of alicorns. The whole ‘take over Equestria and burn the Princesses’ bodies at the stake’ thing is a major turn off to many stallions who might’ve given you a chance. Apparently long legs are attractive to ponies, and you got pretty long legs. Somebody might have courted you if it weren’t for that.

“Actually, somebody would still try to date you, people are weird. Some people are into evil overlords, with how much Adolf Hitler… art there is, somebody out there would like to have you as a girlfriend.” Queen Chrysalis’s eye twitched a couple times, before she glared at me even harder than usual. There was even a flick of… realization in those eyes before the glare. What a shame, I coulda sworn I saw a pony or two check Chrysalis’ flank out. One of them wasn’t a stallion.

“Shut it, drone. You will be beheaded by midnight,” the Queen threatened.

“Hey now, a bug that’s nearly a thousand years old can still find love. Celly’s nearly thirteen hundred years old, and I see her eying a few stallions. Apple Jack’s brother seems to catch her eye the most… though I think that poor bastard’s gonna have some problems later with a couple alicorns. Luna stared at the fella for a good 10 seconds while he was bucking apples. Who knows? Maybe a certain Changeling Queen would like a big, strong stallion. Changeling and Pony hybrids are pretty good for taking over the world, y’know.”

The crowd then began to part ways as two very distinctive manes made their way through it. There they were, Princess Celestia, and Luna were now standing at the forefront of the crowd, and looked pretty angry. Well, Luna did(she was literally fuming smoke, I could smell it from here), while Celestia looked more calm and collected. But in a way that screamed ‘I will kick your ass, Chrysalis’ kinda way. Maybe I should give that old mare another shot, she did come to save my head from being cut off by a psychotic bug lady that may or may not remind me of a certain angry mustache model. Oh hey! Derpy was in the crowd a couple of yards away from the princesses, and she was smiling.

I stuck my leg out from the ropes and gave a wave to her. “Hey Ditzy!” She waved back… huh, Time Turner was missing. That’s probably not a good sign, but whatever. Time Turner was a time traveler after all, and was probably visiting the future or some shit. “So how was mail running today?” I shouted back, before Queen Chrysalis slapped me in the face… ouch, that’s a nose bleed right there.

Apparently during the whole time I was spacing out, Queen Chrysalis was making her demands about being handed the throne of Equestria, and I get to live in exchange. Now that was rude, I wasn’t worth the throne, or anything really. Well, according to most of the ponies in the crowd; I was just a Changeling, who cared if I got killed, right? Well, Ditzy might, but she didn’t look too concerned. It was like she had something in mind, like she knew how this might play out. “Yo Tia, Luna, don’t follow through on this bug’s demands. I could go without a head honestly. It’ll keep that feeling out, the one of being homesick!” That was met with another smack on the head.

“He’s right! That drone isn’t worth a damn! For all we know, it’s not even Ray!” Somebody shouted. “If it is Ray, then who cares? He’s just a Changeling!” ouchie, well, good thing I’m just waiting for my head to get cut off. You ponies could’ve at least pretended to care, and not act like the whole friendliness thing wasn’t an act. I can sense your emotions, assholes. Hey, what’s that whistling… Why is there a spinning blue box in the sky? “Yo, Chrysalis, you might want to move the drones that aren’t inside the-”

(Celestia’s POV)

My jaw hit the floor as I watched a blue box, whistle through the air, and slam into the Town Hall. I have… never seen that thing before, not in a thousand years, or anything like what had just happened here. I watched a wall eyed pegasus break away from the crowd during the distraction and cut Ray free. In a couple of moments, the two were lost in the crowd, while the blue box remained stuck wedged into one of the walls it had crashed through. Queen Chrysalis blinked a couple times, now covered in dust from the rubble, before turning to where Ray previously was. “Where in the hay did Ray go?” She said, before one of the doors for the blue box opened.

“Hello! Sorry about the crash landing, I always struggled with flying this thing,” a brown coated, messy maned stallion poked his head out of the blue box. I must say, he was dashing, perhaps I could get his name and send him a letter of appreciation for what he had done… and my desire to make dinner plans with him. “Well, if you excuse me, I will be off!” the stallion sunk back into his… flying machine, and the blue box had managed to free itself from the wall it was stuck in, and it dashed off at light speed… towards the Everfree.

“Why does Doctor Time Turner have a flying machine?” Luna asked. Wait… as in the same doctor that treated Ray when he ran into a wall. Phooey, he had a wife… Well, I could always ask the doctor’s wife if she would be okay with starting a herd… oh right, Queen Chrysalis, I didn’t take my medicine today apparently. I quickly seized the Queen with my magic, tying her up in magical chains, while Luna quickly put the Changeling soldiers to sleep. “Don’t worry, my sister, we’ll have this bug locked up for centuries,” Luna nodded before trying to find out where that pegasus and Ray went.

(Ray’s POV)

“So… this is the perk of being married to a time traveler?” I asked Ditzy as we walked through the empty streets of Ponyville(apparently everybody was gathered at the town hall).

“Yup, The Doctor told me to remain calm and smile, which… was kind of hard to do. He said he had a plan, which didn’t sound good since he didn’t tell me, Time Turner is going to get an earful for that. That stupid stallion, thinking it would be a good idea to crash the TARDIS into town hall?” She grumbled. “Well, at least you’re safe, Ray. How were you not scared to death, while being a hostage to Queen Chrysalis.”

My accent was thick. “Well, you see, I knew I was probably gonna die. So me, being the spiteful drone that I am, refused to look scared. Kinda accepted my fate yeah? Anyways, I spent the remainder of that time poisoning Queen Chrysalis’s brain with horrible, horrible ideas. Even got her to glare at me even harder by the time I got free!” I pointed at my nose. “And I got a nosebleed, so that… is pretty cool… Wait, how do you know Chrysalis’s name?” Suddenly, I found myself being hugged, and I blinked a couple times. Time Turner was hugging me… wasn’t he just in a time machine?

“Glad to see you’re doing fine, mate. So, how’d you like my distraction?” Why did Time Turner sound British all of a sudden?

“Derpy hated it, I thought it was pretty cool.” The Doctor then turned to his wife.

“No cuddles for a week,” Ditzy said, if she had arms, she would have them crossed by now.

With that, Time Turner fell to his knees and gave a Darth Vader styled ‘No!” while screaming to the heavens.

“And no home baked muffins!” Ditzy added. This resulted in the ‘No!’ getting louder.

The Doctor then got up, cleared his throat, and patted me on the back. “So lad, I say it’s time we get you back to Princess Luna before she…” I never got to hear him finish, since the Moon Princess tackled me at full speed, and held me in a very, very tight hug… My rib cage hurts now.

“Thank the Stars above that you are okay, Ray!” she shouted with the Canterlot Royal Voice. Great, now my ears are going to need some therapy after this. Luna then giggled, while blushing, realizing what she just did before regaining composure. “My apologies, Ray. I was just excited to have you back, did Queen Chrysalis harm you while you were imprisoned?” She asked. She released me from her bear hug.

“Nah, I scarred her for life though, so being kidnapped was worth it…” I chuckled. My focus then turned to behind Luna, and sitting like a cat, was Celestia… she was staring at the Doctor for a bit, before she realized I was looking at her. “Hey Celestia, Time Turner’s wife is right here, y’know,” I said. Well, Ditzy wasn’t paying attention, she was still going off on the list of punishments the Doctor would get for crashing his time machine into town hall for a distraction.

“You didn’t call me Princess?” Princess Celestia asked.

“I mean, would you prefer that? At this point, my brain’s so dead from what the fuck is going on, that being friendly with you wouldn’t be too bad. Heck, we could actually be friends again,” I said, my accent now nice and loose.

“Okay, what have you done with the real Ray? You suppress that accent of yours most of the time,” Luna said.

“Eh, I dunno what you’re talkin’ boot, mate,” I laughed when Luna blinked a couple times at my take at Canadian. “But… it’s probably from defaulting to that for the last… holy fuck it’s been a whole day since I’ve been kidnapped. Anyways, I was so busy just being ready to get my head chopped off, that I kinda stopped caring about that. Also, now I’m back in Ponyville with a bunch of pals, might as well go loose with the accent.”

“Well, let’s get you into a bath first, Ray. you smell like a burnt bird,” Luna holstered me up on my back, and left the arguing, married couple of Ditzy and Time Turner behind… Celestia slipped a letter into the doctor’s mane while he wasn’t paying attention, and quickly caught up to me and Luna.