“Wait,” I murmured, glancing down at my fists. “Fuck, I keep forgetting I can't hurt people.”

“Oh this is going to be too easy,” murmured the changeling.

I jumped over a blast of magic, before rolling out of the way as a chain of the things was fired my way. The attacks were powerful, able to send chunks of dirt, and debris everywhere and nearly scorching my leg when I didn't move fast enough. Coming back up from the roll, I grabbed a hunk of loose earth and tossed it at the changeling, hoping that wouldn't be considered violence.

My hand moved of its own accord at the last second, sending the chunk flying far from the target. While I cursed, the changeling laughed, and chased after me, sending a trio of fireballs my way.

I avoided the flaming spheres by dodging the first, and then jumping behind a tree and using it as cover. The impact of the orb tore chunks from the tree and was enough for the flames to lick at my face, singing my fur. The smell was unpleasant but the least of my worries, as the tree was beginning to lean in my direction.

Leaning against the wood, I pushed the falling tree next to my opponent and was happy to see that at least I was able to do that. The tumbling ton of timber was enough of a distraction that they had to dodge to the side, abandoning their attacks at least for the moment. I used this to my advantage and rushed them, intent on tackling the changeling and restraining them physically.

I was able to grab the startled critter, but I couldn't apply any more force than a gentle hug.

“I’m sorry but I’m not into freaks,” declared the dominant changeling.

“And I’m not into emotionless psycho killers that resemble an angry block of cheese,” I retorted, still trying to squeeze down around her midsection but being unable to do so.

“I’ll make you eat those words, and your liver,” she spat.

A blast of magic sent me flying into the dirt nearly a dozen feet away from where we had been standing. While I stumbled into a stand I looked around for any sign of Cadence, to find that she wasn't far from me. The alicorn was locked in heated combat with the two other changelings that had gotten transported along with us.

Though perhaps combat was a bit of a stretch.

Cadence was flying above them, counter-spelling their magic, whenever they tried to cast anything. When they tried to fly up to her she’d use those enormous, majestic wings of hers to buffet them so severely that they were forced to land. By the sounds of it an argument had broken out between the two would-be assassins while Cadence was still attempting to make them stop through diplomacy.

Bless her heart.

“I said you go right, I go left. If we both fly at her from the same direction she’ll just knock us down!” One of them yelled.

“And I said that we should just both cast a sleep spell at the same time, she can't dispel both!” retorted the other.

“Why don't we all just take a deep breath and talk-” Cadance began.

“Shut up you!” The assassins barked.

“What a bunch of idiots,” I muttered.

I felt the sudden urge to lurch to the left, an urge I followed immediately, jumping to the side just in time to avoid another blast of magic.

“Alright, new plan,” I whispered to myself.

Charging across the clearing, I jumped into the air and grabbed Cadence around the middle.

“Cast a shield spell, now!” I demanded.

“What, why should-”

“Just do it!” I yelled.

The blushing alicorn obliged and cast a large dome shield around the both of us. I put her down, and then turned to our attackers, watching as their spells and fists bounced off the glowing pink barrier.

“Ha, good luck getting through that, ya jerks,” I remarked, flipping them off.

“I don't know what that gesture meant but I’m going to assume it was an insult,” remarked Cadence.

“Yeah pretty much, now-” I turned back to Cadance and grabbed her by the shoulders. “Please tell me you know how to fight.”

“I uh… no, not really,” Cadance admitted, the blush returning to color her cheeks. “I never did take those self-defence courses Auntie and Shining wanted me to.”

“Do you know any offensive magic whatsoever? Fireball, lightning bolt… magic missile?” I asked, growing increasingly panicked the more the alicorn shook her head.

“I don't know any spell that can hurt another creature,” Cadance murmured somewhat ashamedly, wincing briefly when a blast of magic hit her shield. “Which I am just now realizing is probably an issue.”

“Okay, so we run,” I declared, confidence growing. “How good are you at teleporting?”

“I can't teleport anyone but myself and even then I can barely make it any further than a few feet,” Cadance replied, wincing prematurely.

“That… sucks,” I sputtered. “Do you have any spells that could… incapacitate someone?”

“I just said I can't hurt. Also, we should really hurry this up I don't know how much longer I can keep this up,” Cadance encouraged, sweat dripping down her forehead.

“You don't need to hurt them. Just uh…” I snapped my fingers. “Put them to sleep!”

“It only works on a willing target,” Cadance muttered.

“Can you do anything at all?!” I shouted angrily.

“Wait, I do have one spell that might- augh!” Cadence cried, her bubble popping with a woosh.

I grabbed the alicorn around the middle and hefted her up like a dog before taking off into the woods. Magical bolts whizzed past me, blowing off bits of tree bark or an errant branch, sending leaves and bits of wood everywhere. The thunder of hooves was close to my heels, but I was taller, with longer legs, making me far faster than them.

“Ha, good luck catching up to me now, dickheads!” I shouted.

The thunderous impact of hooved feet vanished, only to be replaced by the sound of insectoid wings buzzing.

“Why can't they just forget they have wings like every winged hero ever?” I irritably exclaimed.

“Augh what happened?” Cadance groaned. “And why am I getting carried around like an ugly handbag?”

“The magical whiplash knocked you out, and the magical whiplash knocked you out,” I answered.

“Har har very funny,” Cadance retorted.

“Compliment my sense of humor later. Use your spell now,” I declared.

“But it-”

“No buts!” I shouted.

I then spun around and lifted Cadance up in front of me.

“Go go gadget murder!” I exclaimed.

“What, but I- ahh!” Cadence yelled.

She then blasted the two advancing assassins with a giant pink heart bubble that popped upon contact. For a moment nothing happened, with the pair flying there, looking down at themselves in confusion. Then their gaze met, and their eyes turned into pink hearts, not unlike the one that had hit them a moment earlier.

“Okay so what happens now… oh,” I murmured.

The two changelings rolled around on the ground, attacking each other’s tonsils with their long forked tongues.

“That is disturbing but effective,” I declared.

“It's not supposed to work that well!” Cadance blurted. “It's just supposed to amplify existing feelings, honest!”

“Stop making my soldiers horny you freak!” Demanded the leader changeling, leveling her horn at Cadence.

“Shit,” I muttered before leaping to the side.

Though I dodged the bolt of lightning it was still close enough to burn a large chunk of my fur and make my hair stand on end. That was a concern for later, as right now I was tumbling through the underbrush with Cadance pressed against my chest. With my arms wrapped tight around her, I was able to take the brunt of the blow, protecting the mare though I would probably have a few new bruises tomorrow.

“Are you alright?” I asked, glancing down at the mare I was looming protectively over.

“I’m more than alright,” Cadance muttered.

“Good,” I began, unaware of the bright red blush on Cadance’s face. “Because Cheese Face called for backup.”

Cadence sat up and looked around the bush to find that more changelings were advancing on our position. Not only was there the big, dominant changeling from before but three new arrivals were charging their horns.

“Hit 'em again!” I encouraged.

“Hold on a second I need a moment,” Cadance replied.

I grumbled to myself and hastily jumped up, dragging Cadance up with me. I was about to turn and run, alicorn tucked securely under one of my arms when a bright green bolt of energy flew at me. I knew that I didn't have the time to dodge or do much of anything really, though I could spin around, taking the hit and protecting Cadence.

The force of the impact knocked me forward, but I could feel that it had done very little true damage. This was mostly due to my armor and natural resilience as a pony likely would have been injured quite severely. Either way, it pushed me forward, and I turned that momentum to my advantage by taking off into a run.

“You’re hurt!” Cadence exclaimed as I weaved around a corner and avoided another bolt of lightning.

“It's nothing I haven't experienced a thousand times before,” I replied, gritting my teeth and holding back the grunt of pain that threatened to spill past my lips.

“I should heal you. I think I know a spell for that,” Cadance muttered.

“No! Don't bother,” I interrupted, jumping behind a tree, a fireball whizzing past and exploding into the distance a second later. “Just focus on that lust spell.”

“It's not a lust spell but fine, I should be ready now,” Cadance replied.

“Good, Cadence, use lust beam!” I shouted, jumping out from behind the tree and holding Cadence up like a doll.

“I said its not a lust spell!” Cadance shouted while unleashing said spell on the closest three changelings.

Again the spell struck true, and again nothing happened for a moment, and then the trio of changelings began attacking one another. In an instant, they were a blur of angry cursing, punching, and aimless scrambling in the dirt. Hair was pulled, eyes were poked, with each of the brawling changelings attacking the other two with vicious intent. It was clear that there was some real bad blood between them.

“That's kind of fucked up Cadence. Why would you do that to them?” I asked.

“I didn't mean to!” Cadence exclaimed, throwing up her forehooves.

“What are you… augh not again!” Growled the lead changeling after round a corner. “What are you idiots doing!”

“Well, at least they aren't making out like bandits, though we sure are!” I exclaimed, cackling as I sprinted off into the woods, Cadance tucked under my arm like an oversized football.

“I don't understand we are not making out. Not like I’m super against that or whatever but the statement doesn't make any sense,” Cadance retorted.

“It's an expression! Augh you are worse than Twilight. At least I know where she gets it from,” I muttered.

“You are heading back to Ponyville, right?” Cadance asked.

“Girl, I don't have a hot clue where we are. The only direction I’m going in is not towards them,” I replied.

“At least put me on your shoulder or something this is embarrassing,” Cadance whined.

“Sure just- shit not more of them,” I muttered.

I grabbed Cadance and leaped to the ground, avoiding a bolt of sizzling acid. The spell thudded into a tree behind me and sizzled loudly, eating through a good section of the tree in only a few short seconds. I didn't wait around to see what would happen to the poor plant and hefted Cadence to my shoulder before sprinting to the right.

Despite my quick thinking, we were pincered between the newly arrived changeling in front of us and the commander that was behind us. Together they fired off spell after spelling, cutting down trees, igniting bushes, and sending enough woody shrapnel into the air that it gathered like clouds.

“Turn around, I’m ready to use it again!” Cadance called.

“No way! The moment we stop is the moment one or both of us lose a limb!” I retorted.

“Fine, just run straight would you!” Cadence yelled.

I grumbled and did my best to do just that, though I was only mostly successful, what on account of the flurry of streaking emerald bolts that exploded all around me. Despite my less-than-perfect path, I saw Cadance fire off the spell out of the corner of my eye, the alicorn shooting it over her shoulder.

“Yes, I got the smaller one,” Cadance declared.

“Did it work, are they tongue wrestling, or just boring regular wrestling?” I asked while still sprinting into the woods.

“I uh think he's asking the tall one out on a date. It looks like he's professing his feelings for her,” Cadance added.

“Oh sweet. What she say?” I prompted.

“It's getting a bit hard to see them but it looks like she's angrily ordering him to keep up the attack though she's blushing pretty fiercely,” Cadance replied.

“Ha! That's hilarious. Let's hope they stay distracted for a bit longer. I’m pretty stealthy when I need to be so we might be able to sneak away,” I offered.

“Wait, she's casting a spell it looks like a big one,” Cadance exclaimed.

I didn't get a chance to respond before suddenly the main changeling appeared before before us in a flash of light.

“I’ve had enough of your games,” she growled, while still blushing. “Stop resisting and die already!”

“Cadance, now!” I shouted.

Cadance unleashed her spell, though the pink bubble never landed, as an explosion of red lightning blasted it apart. The changeling’s crimson energy tore through the surrounding vegetation, turning small plants into clumps of ash while severely burning any tree it came across. I knew in that instant that I was gonna be too slow to get out of the way, and so I chose to hold Cadence to my chest before dropping face-first to the ground.

Like a brave private jumping on a grenade, I used my body to shelter the alicorn from the blast. However the moment it hit me I immediately regretted my actions, as it ripped through my armor, and burned my flesh. It was like a dozen white hot irons were slammed against my back all at once, charring skin, and flash-frying muscle tissue.

I muffled a scream, gritting down the pain until after it passed. Once it was gone, I rolled back over and lurched into an awkward stand.

“Quick, Cadance do the thing,” I demanded.

“No, you’re hurt let me tend to your wounds,” Cadance retorted.

“Or you could both just lie down and die already,” spat the changeling, her horn smoking.

Our would-be assassin tried to muster another spell, only to wince, a spray of sparks shooting from her forehead.

“Damn it all to Tartarus,” she murmured bitterly.

“Cadence now is the time to practice your fighting skills. Uppercut her in the chin!” I ordered, pointing at the changeling.

“I am not doing that, besides-” Cadance tried to reply, only for a new voice to interrupt her.

“Cadance! Fareeah!” Shouted Twilight Sparkle from somewhere in the distance. “Hold on! Help’s on the way!”

“Well, what do you know, the cavalry has arrived,” I remarked with a smirk. “It seems as though you are out of time, Cheese Face.”

“I…” The changeling growled. “You have not seen the last of me. Mark my words, monster. I will have your head. Sooner, or later.”

She then turned and disappeared into the bush, leaving me to collapse to one knee with a wince.

“Damn, that hurt. What kind of spell was that anyway? I’ve never seen anything like that,” I muttered.

“Me neither but that doesn't matter right now, hold still,” Cadance retorted, clambering off my shoulder and rounding my back. “Stars above Fareeah, how are you even still conscience!”

“That bad eh?” I remarked, chuckling dryly.

“There are chunks of you that are ready to just fall off!” Cadance exclaimed.

“Well at least losing weight for bikini season won't be so hard,” I muttered, though the mirth had left me completely.

“This is not the time to joke. Now hold still, and try not to talk,” Cadance ordered.

I did as she asked, and was relieved to feel a wave of healing magic wash over me. My wounds stitched themselves up almost completely, and a second later the pain dulled to the point that it was barely more than a dull throb. A third healing spell washed over me almost right after, causing the last of my skin to pull itself together.

“Okay, good,” Cadance muttered between gasps. “You should be fine now.”

“Wow,” I murmured, a hand reaching back to find that my back felt… normal. As if I had not just had my flesh nearly flensed from my bones. “You are really good at that.”

“Yes well. Auntie insisted that if I was not going to train in fighting I should at least know how to heal,” Cadence answered trotting around to face me at head level.

“I appreciate it Cadence,” I remarked.

“I should be the one thanking you,” Cadance began, taking a step towards me. “You likely saved my life several times tonight. How can I ever begin to thank you?”

“Don't worry about it,” I dismissed. “I was just doing what was right. After all, you ponies are mighty squishy. Gnolls, not so much.”

“Still. I must insist that I do something for you,” Cadance pressed. “I can't promise to dismiss the charges but perhaps I could pull some strings.”

“Nah I don't want none of that, though I can think of one thing I want,” I retorted, waving a dismissive hand.

“What is it?” Cadance demanded to know.

“A kiss,” I replied with a smirk.

“I… suppose that would be possible,” Cadance admitted, her cheeks nearly glowing she was blushing so profusely.

“Lay it on me, princess,” I offered.

“So crass,” Cadance exclaimed, batting me in the shoulder.

She then leaned forward, and we locked lips. The moment this happened I felt what could only be described as a bolt of electricity arc from her to me. It could have been leftover static, but it felt deeper in a way that I couldn't quite explain, the electricity igniting a heat deep down in my chest.

“I… wow,” I muttered.

Cadence didn't say anything, instead surging forward and kissing me again, this time much deeper. No longer was this just a peck on the lips by an awkward date, this was a capital K kiss, straight from France. I fell into it eagerly, leaning forward, and running a clawed hand through her mane.

“Cadance, Fareeah?” Muttered the dumbfounded voice of Twilight Sparkle.

“This isn't what it looks like!” Cadence replied, hastily breaking the kiss.

“Aww come on Sparkle. Couldn't you at least have given us another few minutes? We were just getting to the good part!” I whined.

“I… am going to deal with all those emotions later,” Twilight remarked. “Are you two okay?”

“We're fine but Fareeah took a bad hit and we should go to the hospital,” Cadance declared.

“But before we do that. You have to take this thing off,” I proclaimed, lifting the finger the ring had been placed on. “Your little precaution nearly got me and Cadance killed.”

“Is that true?” Twilight asked, turning to Cadence.

“I hate to say it Twilight but yeah. Fareeah is telling the truth here,” Cadance answered.

“I’m… I’m sorry you guys,” Twilight whispered in a low tone, head hanging low. “I didn't think something like this would happen.”

“Hey Twilight,” I shouted. “It's fine. Just take it off and replace it with a tracker or something.”

“Errr right. And I’ll add an enchantment so what happened tonight can't happen again,” Twilight offered, her mood banking from the depths of despair to the eager, childlike desire to help someone.

“You go ahead and load up those enchantments,” I encouraged. “Put on as many as you can fit.”

“I will, but for now let's hurry back. I need to recall the others that had joined the search party,” Twilight muttered.

As Twilight trotted away, Cadence and I joined her, though we stayed a few steps behind her.

“Thank you, for distracting her like that,” Cadance whispered. “There is only one thing more powerful in this universe than Twilight's curiosity and that's her guilt.”

“Hey, even I know when to reign back on the teasing,” I answered, only to smirk and lean down. “Though speaking of teasing. After we get back to the party do you wanna sneak off to that back room and pick up where we left off?”

“No, that was… I wouldn't say it was a mistake but, well… I don't know what to call it,” Cadance muttered.

“Hot. You can call it hot,” I added.

“That is…” Cadence began, pausing to frown while still blushing furiously. “Very accurate.”

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