“Saying that out loud makes me feel like a selfish dick,” I added, arms crossed over my chest. “Probably best that Twilight went. She’s probably the more diplomatic of the two of us.”

“I don't think offering to beat up Shining Armor would help,” remarked one of the guards.

I glanced over to find that the smaller, more svelte stallion that I had spoken to before had approached me. Though still armed and armored, as he was still acting as my guard, he had a relaxed posture that made me feel at ease.

“There is only one way to find out, right?” I retorted.

“It's Cadence,” he stated simply.

“Yeah,” I murmured. “She’s not like my ex. He would have been thrilled by the prospect. Might have even given me a knife.”

“Your ex does not sound like a nice person,” remarked the bat pony dryly.

“No, he was not. He did have a great sense for roleplay though. Be it at the table, or in the bed,” I added, chuckling to myself at the memory.

“Is he from before you arrived in Equestria?” inquired the guard.

“Yeah. I wish I could recall more about him,” I muttered, my brow creasing with irritation. “I knew he was a bit on the toxic side, and that he was cute as heck but other than that it's all a bit of a blur.”

“Sounds like a whirlwind romance,” stated the pony.

“I wonder if he ended up here too,” I murmured, mostly to myself.

The details were sketchy, but I didn't think he was part of the group present when I got isekaied. But with how muddy and unreliable the memories of my past were, I wouldn't be surprised if he was here too. With that thought in my head, I couldn't help but wonder where he’d be if he did end up here.

“Probably a scheming noble blowing and backstabbing his way to the top,” I whispered. “Might be a prince by now.”

“Did you say something?” Asked the guard.

“Nothing. Just thinking out loud,” I rumbled. “So do we just have to sit here all night or what?”

“Though it was Twilight's order that we remained here I believe we should return to the library,” remarked the leader of my escort. “I don't like how open it is out here.”

“And we were headed that way anyhow,” I added. “Lead the way, boss man.”

The stallion nodded, and took the lead, with the other guards in his squad taking up the rear. Unlike up until now, when they had remained nearly invisible, now they made their presence obvious. It made sense in my opinion, wouldn't want anyone to think I was just wandering around without a guard.

Might cause a panic.

“I wonder what Luney is up to,” I thought aloud.

“I wouldn't call her that to her face by the way,” the stallion replied from far ahead of me.

“I knew you could hear me then,” I shot back, chuckling. “But don't worry. I know how sensitive she might be around such a topic. Perhaps, Moon Pie would be a better nickname?”

“I think that's actually worse,” piped up another of the guards, much to my amusement.

“What about-”

In no time at all we had returned to the library though I had gotten nowhere with

“Okay, what about Lulu?” I asked, getting slightly exasperated. “That's not offensive or anything.”

“Not the worst I’ve heard before,” Luna remarked, stepping out from the kitchen with a tart and a cup of tea. “It beats Celestia’s insistence on calling me Woona.”

“Nah that's just infantilizing,” I dismissed.

“At least someone else thinks so,” Luna muttered, her tone heavy with bitter resentment.

“So,” I began, walking over to Luna. “We gonna chill downstairs until Twi gets back?”

“Why is Twilight-” Luna began, only to pause when one of her guards leaned in and began whispering in her ear. A few seconds later Luna nodded and gestured towards the door leading to the basement. “Very well then. Let us retire to somewhere private for the moment.”

I followed after her but not before snagging a couple of the tarts and a jug of water from the kitchen. I also slipped a fork into a pocket, utilizing a bit of sleight of hand to ensure that no one saw me do so. Upon seeing me return, arms laden with goodies, Luna smirked, but said nothing, silently opening the door. A few seconds later we were seated in our now familiar spots on either side of the magical recording orb, snacks, tea, and water sitting between us.

“Not bringing down your escort?” I asked, gesturing to the top of the stairs.

“You wouldn't try to assassinate me at least until after you’ve finished your food,” Luna retorted.

I chuckled, mouth full of food. “Ipf twoo.”

As I ate, I glanced occasionally at Luna’s shadow, my curiosity getting the better of me. Despite the brightness of the lights overhead, her shadow was strong and black while mine was barely visible.

“Say,” I began, swallowing hard. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“You just did,” Luna shot back.

“Har har. You know what I mean,” I retorted, rolling my eyes.

I was the only one allowed to be a snide asshole around here, thank you very much.

“Of course, my friend,” Luna exclaimed.

I was briefly touched by the earnestness in her voice, though I quickly ignored that for the moment. What I was about to ask may have some unfortunate implications, and I needed to harden my resolve lest I lose my nerve.

“You are aware that your shadow seems to have a mind of its own, yes?” I asked.

“Alicorns are creatures of magic. We are not like normal ponies,” Luna answered.

Though to most her response may have sounded normal, and delivered with a casual ease, I could tell otherwise. My senses were heightened, and I had invested a lot of points into insight. I could see how her lips pulled back, how her gaze hardened, and how her words came out sounding like they had been rehearsed.

“Oh? Let me guess. Celestia doesn't have a shadow?” I pressed.

“Not naturally, no,” Luna replied, her expression relaxing slightly. “But she applies a charm every morning out of fear that ponies may think her strange.”

“She seems a bit too preoccupied with what others think,” I pointed out.

“I suppose you could say that,” Luna tactfully admitted.

“I’ve also noticed something else,” I began again, taking a sip and watching as Luna’s shoulders stiffened once more, the mare’s eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “You seem to slip into the royal we when you get flustered. Still having trouble adjusting?”

“Ahh yes,” Luna muttered, seemingly relieved. “When I become irritated it's easy to fall into that trap.”

“Hmm,” I murmured absently.

I then picked up a crumb and flicked it at the mare, the piece of pastry bouncing off her cheek and causing Luna to frown.

“And what was that for, hmm?” Luna pressed. “Testing my reflexes?”

“Something like that,” I exclaimed, noting that yes, her shadow had moved. “Just curious ya know?”

“About what exactly?” Luna continued.

“A pet theory of mine. Oh hey, is that Twilight?” I declared, pointing up to the top of the stairs.

“I did not hear her coming,” Luna whispered, turning around and staring up at the basement door.

In a single fluid movement, I withdrew the fork and threw it at the alicorn. The piece of polished silverware flew through the air unerringly, flying straight for the alicorn’s exposed neck. It never reached its target though, as a black tentacle flew from Luna’s shadow, grabbing it and throwing it aside.

“What did… Oh no,” Luna murmured, glancing back at me.

“Now this is intriguing,” I exclaimed with a grin. “You got some cool powers, Lulu.”

“No no no. Go away,” Luna spat.

The alicorn physically pushed at the tentacles, though they didn't move and continued to writhe between us like a physical barrier. Or an overprotective barrier.

“That's a neat trick. How did you do that?” I inquired. “I didn't see your horn glow.”

“It's not me I just… Augh why won't you go back?” Luna growled.

Then, much to my confusion as well as my amusement, the tentacles formed into what looked like an equine-shaped head. It only got weirder from there, as its lips parted, and the creature of darkness began to speak despite its lack of vocal chords.

“But she attempted to assault you,” it hissed.

“That doesn't matter. You are not supposed to form. You know what will happen should they find out you still live,” Luna growled, still trying and failing to shove the shadow monster back into the ground.

“Wait, still live?” I muttered, my eyes going wide. “Wait, this isn't Nightmare Moon is it?”

“No, it is a spell! Nothing more,” Luna proclaimed.

“Give it up Luna. She figured it out,” remarked the shadow creature.

“Fi!” Luna cursed, falling back into her chair. “Then let the repercussions for your actions fall solely upon thine head!”

“Fi, what a funny word,” I murmured while giggling to myself.

“How did you discover my presence, hmm?” Nightmare Moon demanded, her neck extending until she was mere inches away from my face. “Who ha you told? Speak damn you! I demand answers.”

“Nighty, relax. I’m sure there is a good reason for all this,” Luna added.

“Sorry about the fork by the way. I just assumed you had some kind of protection spell on you,” I replied with a shrug. “The rest of this was just a happy accident honestly.”

“What? So you didn't know I was not killed?” Nightmare Moon asked, slightly defeated.

“Well I suspected something was up don't get me wrong but it's not like I knew decisively that Nightmare Moon was still possessing Luna,” I shot back.

“I am not possessing anyone,” Nightmare Moon growled, jabbing a pitch-black hoof at me. “Don't assume to understand anything about us.”

“Relax Moonie,” Luna repeated, running a gentle hoof down the shadow creature’s neck. “Fareeah knows little of our situation.”

“That does not excuse her rudeness,” spat the dark creature.

“Well, I’m all ears. Feel free to explain it to me,” I offered.

“We do not need to explain anything to you,” Nightmare Moon sneered.

“We do not need to, but I would like to,” Luna commented, pulling Nightmare Moon in close, and nuzzling the shadow creature’s cheek. “Despite her rude attempt to fork us. She is still a friend.”

“Heh, fork you,” I murmured, giggling to myself.

“You are too kind,” Nightmare Moon muttered.

“That may be, but thankfully I have you to protect me,” Luna purred.

I watched as the princess of the night rubbed her cheeks with a strange, venom-looking shadow creature. Who seemed very happy with this, as evidenced by the fact that it made some of the strangest purring I’ve ever heard. I struggle to even put it into words, with the closest possible description being what if you put a crotch rocket underwater, gunned, and put the ensuing sound through a bass-boosted synthesizer.

Yeah, I know that doesn't make a lot of sense but I told you that was the best I had.

“And here I thought I was bad for P.D.A’s,” I remarked aloud, arms crossed over my chest. “Ya’ll bring on a whole new level of weird.”

“Silence, knave,” growled Nightmare Moon. “Speak ill of Luna again and I will end you.”

“Damn, Kitty’s got claws,” I mocked, flashing my own talons at the shadow creature.

“Do you want to know what happened or are you going to keep antagonizing Moony?” Luna retorted.

“Sorry, sorry. Go ahead,” I offered, leaning back in my chair.

“To start, I think you should dispel a few of the common myths our friend here likely already believes,” Luna added.

“For one. I am not some kind of split personality or the like,” Nightmare Moon muttered.

“Aww,” I bitterly exclaimed. “There goes all my self-love jokes.”

“We do share the same body, however,” Luna remarked.

“And just like that they’re back,” I joked.

“Do you take anything seriously?” Nightmare Moon deadpanned.

“Just my coffee,” I replied.

“That doesn't even make sense,” Nightmare Moon muttered.

“Please stop interrupting,” Luna politely demanded.

“Shutting up now,” I quickly exclaimed, miming the action of zippin' my mouth shut.

“Well it all began nearly one thousand and one hundred years ago,” Luna began, her tone gaining a wistful edge to it. “I was investigating rumors of a fallen star when I came across my Moony.”

“I didn't have a body,” Nightmare Moon added. “I was just a goo or something.”

“This silly thing attacked me and in a panic I struck back, nearly killing her,” Luna murmured, gazing down at Nightmare Moon. “Though the blow was deep, she didn't perish, and not knowing what to do. I took her into my custody.”

“I couldn't even speak or even see at that point. I needed a host,” Nightmare Moon stated.

“Which you got after I was able to infiltrate your dreams and finally speak to you,” Luna remarked. “And just in time to as you had nearly died from starvation at that point.”

“Little did I know we would become so intertwined,” Nightmare Moon exclaimed with a chuckle.

“In time we drew closer, until even our souls became one, and nothing not even death would keep us apart,” Luna wistfully exclaimed, a hoof caressing Nightmare Moon’s chin.

“I don't want to interrupt. Oh who am I kidding, I very much want to interrupt, but where exactly did you come from?” I inquired.

“I have no idea,” Nightmare Moon admitted. “Landing in Equestria is the first clear memory I have. The rest were muddy even then and now, after over a thousand years they’ve faded so much I can barely recall anything at all.”

“You don't remember being something else like say a human, by chance?” I pressed.

“I don't think so,” Nightmare Moon murmured, her pitch-black eyes staring off into space. “I remember that I had a mission. I knew that I had to stop something terrible and that I would need to make allies, amass armies, and assemble great heroes if I was going to have a hope of averting the disaster I knew was coming.”

“Yeenaghu,” I murmured.

“That sounds familiar what is a Yee nog oooh?” Nightmare Moon asked back, head titled to one side. “My thoughts remain muddled even now.”

“The god of slaughter,” I muttered. “Stopping him was the entire point of the Dungeons and Dragons game that I was playing. Before I ended up here of course.”

“I thought you said that this game of yours began only a few months ago,” Luna interrupted. “Moony has been with me for over millennia at this point.”

“Maybe we all arrived at different points in time? I don't know. I’m just spitballing here,” I answered, giving the pair an apologetic shrug.

“It doesn't matter one way or the other,” Nightmare Moon dismissed. “I’m here now and I refuse to ever leave.”

“Daww Moony,” Luna purred.

“I have a few quick questions,” I added, hastily jumping in before the two could start getting cuddly again. “Namely about that whole civil war between you and your sister.”

“Don't believe Celestia’s propaganda,” Nightmare Moon spat. “It was not fought over something as petty as simple envy.”

“Celestia refused to listen to Moony’s warnings, so we built our own armies in secret, establishing a force large enough to defend against Yeenaghu, should he return,” Luna stated.

“Then how did the whole thing boil over?” I pressed.

“Celestia discovered our plans and sought to thwart us. Arguments were had, and finally, there was a confrontation,” Nightmare Moon began, the shadow creature scowling angrily. “Then just as things were beginning to cool down. Celestia attacked our forces and slew our soldiers.”

“We don't know who drew first blood,” Luna interrupted. “We scoured the battlefield after the fighting but could never discover who it was that launched the first strike.”

“Cultists maybe,” I theorized. “Or changeling infiltrators perhaps.”

“Both are unlikely,” Nightmare Moon hastily added. “Celestia’s templars may be a pack of raging sociopaths with an axe to grind but they nearly wiped out both groups before we even came to blows.”

“After all that the rebellion was mostly a bloodless affair,” Luna declared. “Even with all the bad blood between us. My sister and I never wished to kill one another or anything quite so brutal.”

“You are too soft,” Nightmare Moon murmured angrily.

“No wonder you enjoy being a part of me,” Luna retorted.

Nightmare Moon shrunk down and shivered in what I can only imagine was the strangest kind of blush I’d ever seen.

“Ignoring that,” I began again, clearing my throat. “I have more questions but I think we should save them for another time.”

“Yes, I think Twilight is returning soon,” Luna added.

“A quick two then. One,” I exclaimed, holding up a finger. “I’m assuming you want this to be a secret.”

“Obviously,” Nightmare Moon retorted.

“Great, and two. What pronouns do you use anyway?” I asked, cocking my head. “I just assumed female but given your lack of traditional biology that's not a given.”

“I use it, or they. Something non-gendered, preferably,” Nightmare Moon replied.

“I thought I heard Luna over here calling you a she,” I pointed out.

“I’m allowed to,” Luna proclaimed, somewhat proudly.

“And she is the only one allowed to,” Nightmare Moon added.

“Noted. Thanks for chatting Moony,” I exclaimed.

“You aren't allowed to use that either,” Nightmare Moon growled.

“Oh come on. Give me something then,” I whined. “Nightmare Moon is way too many syllables.”

“How about just Night or Nighty?” Luna offered.

“Night,” Nightmare Moon stated. “I will not be infantilized by an overgrown hyena with an overbite.”

“At least I’m not a venom rip-off with attachment issues,” I shot back.

For a moment I could tell that Nightmare Moon wanted to shoot back, to make a remark and hopefully hurt my feelings. Unfortunately for her, the door to the basement opened, prompting the creature of darkness to flee back to the safety of Luna’s shadow.

“Sorry about that,” Twilight began, the mare appearing quite disheveled. “That turned out to be a whole thing.”

“Hey, no worries. You didn't miss much,” I added. “Luna and I were just chilling and eating tarts.”

“We left one for you,” Luna remarked, giving me a knowing, and appreciative nod.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll wait to eat until after this round of questions is over. I don't want to end up like last time,” Twilight muttered, taking a seat.

“Right, so where were we? The daughters of Eve and the dragon right?” I offered.

“Let's start with the daughters,” Twilight pressed.

“Okay, where to begin,” I murmured, scratching my chin. “Ahh, I know!”

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