You wake up in a void full of stars and bluish colors, and you are not twilight sparkle about to become an alicorn, so you must be Anon.

Confused, you stand up, unsure of your location, and of course you had to say the obvious, "Where I am?"

"oh OH! I know, ask me, ask me!"

You let out a manly cry as you look at your back and see an albino goat, his red eyes looking at you with pure happiness on them, like someone seeing their best friend.

His light gray mane bobbed up and down thanks to his constant jumps, a smile plaster in his mouth, while it had a hoof pointing up, asking for permission to speak.

Confused, you point it to him, "Yes?"

It stopped jumping and sat on its rear, clopping both hoofs together while it closed both eyes, "YAY! I love explaining things!", The goat stopped and cleared his voice, "This place has many names, it depends on what species you ask it, but I like to call it "The ascension dimension", this place is used by creatures which are about to get a upgrade thanks to their "harmonious" acts."

His voice sounded matter-of-fact, but it only made you more confused, "What? I didn't do anything like that."

The small goat smile, his eyes like a cat lock into yours, "DAMM RIGHT, FUCK HARMONY, THEY THING THEY CAN USE ALL THE FUN TOYS! AND YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY!? COME AND SUCK MY NONEXISTENT DICK."

You were baffled by the sudden surge of outrage, "Alright...?"

The goat just smiles at you, "Sorry for the scream, is just it makes me happy to fuck them over." once more the goat clears his voice, "To answer what you are probably thinking about, I highjack this dimension against Harmony wishes, and now every time you pass one of our tests, you will come here to meet us!"

Confused, you shook your head to snap out of your stun lock, "And you are?"

The goat smiled, and putting the deepest voice, it spoke, "Anon, I am your father... well, 1/7 parts your father."

"What-" you stopped, for a moment you were about to overlook the way it said it, but some deep part of your brain made a click, and you pointed at him, "WAIT... are you-"

Before you ever finish, it starts to sound like crazy, "Yupperuny, I'm a human! well... I was one anyway, and now I'm this."

You shook your hands from side to side, "Wait wait, this is generating too many questions!"

"As it should! now, ask away!"

"wait... aren't you going to say something like, "HAHAA, sorry I cannot answer any questions""

The goat pouts at you, "Oh come one, I would like to think myself better than that, now come on."

Looking at the goat, you open your mouth, "...What you mean you are my father? shouldn't it be Grogar?... unless you are my human father."

The goat just laughs a little, "Pffff, what? I never had a kid when I was a human, you are such a silly boy!"

You blink, "Then-"

"And to answer your question, I mean I made you be born in this way using the body of Grogar! I just have to do some flicks here and there, and wa la! your soul did the rest! and I have to say, it did... a bad job, you were supposed to be... more human, but this is good too!"

"...Then, you grab my soul and put it in this body... wait more hu-"

The goat nodded, "Yup! Chose you myself, I still had to get consent from you, but I'm happy we came to an agreement! and even more happy that you don't remember me! after all, our contract said you wouldn't remember it!"

You were dumbfounded, "Why?"

it just smiled, "Because I wanted to die you dumb motherfucker!"

"...You are not cool for cursing, you know?"

The goat smiled wider, "Well, you can fuck right off, then! I curse because it makes me happy and curses have power! after all, they are called ''Curses'' for some reason, also, you are not the best person to say something about it, after all, you curse quite a bit!"

"Well, fuck off right ta ya! I do it because... it is funny?"

In some magical way, the goat smiled even more, "Oh? I bet you were happy to see that fuckers ponies flinch every time you cursed, I'm right?"

You blink, "Well, yeah, but we are getting sidetracked, you claim to be my father... 1/7 my father anyways, what you mean?"

"Quite simple, I divided the last remnants of my existence into 7 pieces!"

You look at him, he looks as if that was as normal as eating bread, "...why?"

"BECAUSE I WANTED TO DIE!" it started to sway from side to side, "You are so easy to sidetrack! I said one little curse and I threw a whole branch into your cogs."

Oh... you did overlook that, "And why do you want to die?"

"Why wouldn't I!? It is soooooo exciting just to think how I will die! Maybe a train will hit me! maybe someone will stab me!" Suddenly music started to sound in the background, the music was kind of familiar, and the string instruments and maracas did an incredible work making the song sound upbeat, "Fun Ways to Die! So many fun ways to die, fun ways to die ie ie!"

The place suddenly started to move with his tune, showing pictures with the respective words, "Maybe I will set fire to my hair! or maybe I will eat food out of date! maybe I will fight with a grizzly bear~ who know! but what I know it will BE A!"

As the song came coming of his mouth, a piano and drums joined him, and many voices joined him in the chorus, "Fun Ways to Die! So many fun ways to die, fun ways to die ie ie ie~!"

Maybe was because the tune was catchy, or maybe you were so absolutely dumbfounded you were unable to think to stop him.

The goat started to move around, the things he was mentioning manifesting into existence trying to kill him, but instead when he jumped into them, they seemed to do nothing to him.

"Maybe I shall be grinded by a saw! or meet my end in a fall! Who knows! maybe a spike ball would do the trick! with its many teeth! that sure would make for a fun way to die!"

You started to clap with the music, joining with the chorus.

"Fun ways to die! so many fun ways to die! Fun ways to die ie ie! so many fun ways to die!"

You suddenly snap into your senses, finally the meaning of the song clicking with you, "Wait wait, stop, wtf is wrong with you!?"

The goat stopped in mid-air, as the shark that was about to eat him did, the pout he was giving to you was legendary "Oh, come on! It was just starting to get good."

"NO! Well, the song was good, but that doesn't spare the fact that you are describing like dying is the best thing in the world!"

The goat smiled and finally fell to the odd ground, the shark dissipating in a mist, "That is subjective, for me it is!"

you raise an eyebrow, "Why?"

The goat's face changed from one to faux disappointment, "Oh? Isn't it obvious?"

You look around for a clue, then look at him again, "No?"

It again started to clop its hoofs together, "Indeed it is! My son is soooo smart!" before you could say something, it continued, "The answer is I don't know! after all, I'm his happiness, not his sadness! I only know that I'm reeeeallly happy about being so close to dying!"

Your eyes become slits in suspicion, "Wait, You said you were 1/7 my father... so you are just his happiness?" It started to nod at the speed of sound, you could swear you could hear how his head cut the air thanks to its speed, "I... See... and what is your name anyways?"

The goat just pouted and shook his hoof from side to side at the same speed as his head, "Ah ah ah! rule number one, never ask our real name! if I told you what is my real name, all the hard work that my past me did would be in vain! Do you know how hard is to erase all traces of your existence?!"

The goat looked at you for a moment, waiting for a response, "...no?"

"Exactly! But if you must call me something, call me Happines~! or goat, or dad-!"

You deadpan, "I will never call you dad."

Happiness ignored you and continued, "now ask your last question, I'm starting to feel like a bully trying to interrupt us and I still don't tell you about your reward!"

You blink, dumbfounded yet again, "Reward?"

It nodded, if you were smarter, you would have noticed how he derailed your train of thought in purpose, "Yup! I shall give you one of my bells, which can perform small miracles of happiness each day!"

You look at him like he is just pulling your leg, "Miracle?"

It nodded, "Yeah! is like making a small wish! don't worry, you will be able to prove it when you are back!"

Suddenly a hash appears in reality not far from your place, and there a white pony with wings and horns steps into view, her flowing hair and violet eyes shine in worry and curiosity.

It looked like it was about to talk, only for the goat to talk before her, "Oh god, but isn't Princess Sunbutt herself, long time no see! as rude as always thought! why don't you take a hint Meanie Pants!?"

The white pony looked at the goat, and tears started to fall from her eyes, but judging by her expression, she didn't notice, "W-what? Who are you? do I know you? wait, I feel like I should know you."

"PFFTTTT, as forgetful as always I see, though I can be too hard with you, this time was my fault you didn't remember."

... you squinted at the pony, "Is that... princess Celestia?"

Finally, the pony looked at you, fore some reason your voice seem to snap Celestia out of the attention of the goat, practically ignoring him now, "Oh! you must be Anon, so nice to-"

The goat took your head in his hoof, and like you were a mere baby, it started to rub your head, "Don't you ever talk to my son! well, actually do it, but when he is awake, now he has something really important to do in real life, so say goodbye to the not so decent lady, Son!"

You were confused, and you also hated how warm it made you feel to be close to this creature... like, it made you unreasonably happy, "uhhh, bye?"

Celestia took a step forward, once again seeming to be able to notice the goat, "Wait-"

And then you woke up.

You felt like you were in the middle of an explosion, the whistle resounding in your ear and your sight was blurry.

You let out a groan as you tried to sit up, only to feel a weight in your chest, looking down you saw Gabby hugging you tight, giving a sigh, you looked around to see you were in one of your bedrooms.

Tired...

Wait.

Tired? This is the first time you felt tired ever since you woke up in this body!

yooooooooo.

maybe you can finally sleep!

Closing your eyes once more, you tried to do your sickest fantasy, sleep 8 hours-

"ANON!"

All your drowsiness gets expulsed out of your body as your heart tries to do the same, "GILDA HOLY F-" You remember your words of the dream.

''Cursing doesn't make you cool.''

... "HOLY FRIGS"

Alright, that was terrible, you will keep cursing.

"As you should, I chose you for a reason you silly goose, remember! curses have power!."

You get a cold sweat and start to look around, which only pisses off Gilda even more.

Gilda makes angry steps towards you, now that you see her better, she looks like she went from hell and back, "I knew your lazy ass was sleeping!"

"oohhhh fuck offfff, I haven't been able to sleep for about-." I light ding makes you lose your train of thought, "for a long time."

"Ohhh welll excuse me you piece of trash, but as far as I know, you have been out for a whole day!"

You blink, "Fucking really-?" another ding.

Why are you cursing so many times anyway...

"Because you are attuning to my artifact, Duh! and keep swearing, when you hear a *dong* instead of a *ding* it should be ready and your ''curse'' should be ready!." And again the goat spoke in your head.

Trying not to flinch you look at Gilda speak while you try not to think about the possibility that the goat is fucking with your head.

"YES REALLY! And guess what!? a lot of griffon nobles want to see the new king of griffon stone!"

You look at her, confused, "And what the hell do I have to do with anything?"

Your answer came from not Gilda, but from Gabby, who looked like just woke up, "Well..." and then she pointed to your head.

Confused, you look up, and to your surprise, the form of your head manages to give you enough vision to your head to see you have something golden on it.

Frowning, you move your right hand and pick up... a crown?

Your eyes become pinpricks and adrenaline gets injected into your veins, you look at Gilda, only to see a smirk on her face, probably by the scare to your ass expression you must have no.

You take a big breath, then proceed to do what you do best when you are coping, "holy shit, You gotta be fucking kidding me you goddam bitch, because this right here is horseshit, Jesus Christ! I'm not even a bloody griffin for fucks sake!"

Every time you say a swear word, you hear a ding, and in the 4 ding, suddenly a count count appears in the side of your vision.

... what the hell is a curse counter and why does it look like a limit breaker of a game?

Gilda just roll her eyes, "Trying to impress me with your vocabulary you dweeb?" then for a moment she paused, "Thought I think is neat that a king has such a way with words." she then shook her head, "Thing is, no, all Griffonia saw that projection of you being a king, plus you have the crown and the Idol is showing your image."

Your blood run cold, and you took a big breath once again, "MOTHERFUCKER, COCKSUCKER, YOU SON OF A BITCHHH YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU FUCKING TRIGGAAA."

And your limit breaker was full.

Alright, maybe you did it on purpose.

Author's Note

Life really sucks, I wish I could take more time to write but really I need to get my stuff around to get money, here is a small update, gonna go back to checking the past chapter since the editor has them all ready.

Just hope I can do it while I work in animation I'm doing for a work