Pucci's bizarre adventure: Made in Equestria

??? (First person)

Hours before the attack

“Huh? You want me to do what?” Valiant heart asked before guzzling down the tea I so graciously offered like the pig he is.

I sighed, resting the book I was reading on a side table, “For the last time, Valiant, I need you to test somepony for me.” I said slowly, in hopes his small mind could comprehend my simple request. “There is a stallion that has recently caught my attention, and I’m certain he’s the one I need to complete my plans.” Taking a sip from a wine-filled glass, I lick my sharp teeth and smile, happy that my dreams could finally become a reality.

Valiant looked at me stupidly, like I had grown two heads, “Okay, so I need to “test” somepony because…why?” He said, annoyed.

Standing from my leather chair, I walk over to the fireplace with a roaring flame and stare into it with a glare, “Did your idiotic brain not understand me earlier, or did you hit your head that hard when I found you; crying and begging to live like the weakling you still are?” I sneer. My question must have struck a chord in the brute because he smashed my fine china cup onto the wooden floor and shot up from his chair.

“Bastard, you dare mock me?! I’ll have you know I was one of her best!” He shouted angrily at me.”Do you think you can insult me and expect me to follow your dumb orders?! Screw you!”

My mocking chuckle filled the room's air as I threw my head back, hovering my hoof above my face as I side-glanced at the enraged ex-guard. “Oh really? But that’s that keyword: was. Oh, how you have fallen from the grace you didn’t even have in the first place.” My laughter increased as I saw Valiants body tremble in rage, a figure slowly fading in behind him. “In reality, you're nothing more than a glorified ass-kisser. One who killed his entire squad out of jealousy ‘cause he couldn’t face the fact he would never truly amount to anything!”

Roaring with rage, Seven Nation Army fully manifested from behind Valiant and shot three arrows at me. It was all for naught. The fireplace exploded into pieces from the arrows’ hitting it, sending bits of brick and ash across the floor. I appeared behind the brute in the blink of an eye, one hoof each wrapped around Valiant and his stands necks tightly.

With only the moon’s pale glow covering Valiant, I moved my mouth from the darkness closer to his ear, “You think that just because I helped you awaken your power, you can do or say whatever you want? No, you follow MY orders like a good guard would.” I scoffed in disgust as I felt his cold sweat rolling onto my clean hoof, “You’re a disgrace to all guards, and that coming from me is another level of pathetic.” I spat, finally releasing the trembling Valiant to the floor, his stand disappearing back into his body.

“All I ask of you is to seek out a stallion with segmented white hair, brown fur, and a black and gold coat, not to ask questions. Do not kill this stallion, only “rough him up” a little, at least until his stand manifests.” I walked back to my leather seat, sitting down as Valiant weakly rose from the floor, coughing. “Seven Nation Army may not be the most powerful of stands, but I hope your messed up mind manages to figure out something.” Taking another sip from my wine, I looked down at the filth at my hooves, “Got that?”

“Y-Yes…sir.” Valiant meekly replies.

As he walked away towards the door, I stopped him in his tracks. “And one more thing, Valiant,” I say with a heavy edge in my tone, “When I mean do not kill him, I mean it. If I find out you’ve gone against my orders, you’ll wish you died bleeding out on that cliff face. Am I understood?” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Valiant give a shallow nod before quickly exiting my room.

Now alone, I turned my head towards the window, looking at a luscious blanket of forest that stretched on for miles. “Soon, Celestia, I will have my revenge. And when that time comes, you will finally see who is truly worthy of being in power and that your harmony is but a joke.” facing away, I close my eyes and chuckle lightly, “I am the one who holds time and death itself. Eventually, all of reality with it!”

Pucci (3rd person)

Pucci felt sick, no, sick didn’t describe the pain coursing throughout his entire body. His stomach felt as if somepony stabbed it with a hundred knives; his head a hundred more. Each muscle screamed in agony. Every bone in his body moaned and creaked at every movement, even as he shifted under the bed covers.

Wait, bed covers?

Another painful flip of his body, and sure enough, he was currently covered by a soft, silky sheet. Even the mattress under him was what a cloud must feel like to a pegasus.

On that note, wasn’t he at the theater, right? Princess Twilight was there, and she and Pucci were…fighting? Yeah, fighting. But who was he fighting again? It was all a blur to the astronomer, memories jumbled together in a confusing, incoherent mess. Last night’s memories, to be exact; if the sunlight assaulting his still-closed eyes was anything to go off of. How long has it been since he’d been out? The last time he checked, the moon was high in the starry sky before going to the show.

Hold on, that word: Moon.

Moon, Moon, Moon.

…

!

“Moondancer!” Pucci shouted as he shot up from the bed. He immediately regretted this action though the second he was straight up; bolts of agonizing pain struck from his ears to his hind hooves, setting his insides metaphorically on fire. Pucci cried out, flopping back down on the soft mattress as he writhed in searing pain, grabbing his sides uselessly.

Pucci’s cries must have been loud enough to grab somepony’s attention because a loud bang followed the violent opening of a door. Multiple blurry silhouettes filled Pucci’s vision, each holding down one of his limbs. He fought against their grips in a blind panic, but his weak and agonizing limbs did little to escape the blurry figures grasps’. From what he could make out, they wore all-white outfits like doctors, masks and all, and practically wreaked of disinfectant. Words were exchanged between the silhouettes in apparent panic, but the ringing in his ears prevented Pucci from making out any specifics.

After minutes of struggle, Pucci felt a light impact connect with his head. To his shock, he felt no additional pain from the contact; quite the opposite, as the pre-existing pain slowly faded from his body until only a minor headache remained. Pucci released a breath of immense relief he didn’t know he held, feeling himself sinking further into the comfortable mattress.

“Wait, I think he’s awake!” Said a voice in an excited tone, “Sir, sir, can you understand me?” It said, the voice sounding masculine.

Pucci managed to respond with a weak moan, trying to adjust his eyes to his surroundings, which wasn’t much help since the curtains were open, letting a torrent of sunlight flood the room. Thankfully, he made out some details of the doctor he now noticed sitting next to him.

The stallion's body was covered in a medical gown, his face covered by a mane scrub, goggles, and a muzzle mask. He turned to similarly dressed ponies, “I think we overdid it with the muscle-relaxing spell.” Said the doctor with concern in his voice.

“W-Where. Am. I?” Pucci spoke hoarsely, coughing violently afterward due to the dryness of his throat.

“I-I wouldn’t recommend speaking just yet.” The doctor said, presenting a glass of cold water in his gloved hoof, “Here, drink this, and then I’ll answer your questions.”

Pucci eyed the water for a moment before he greedily snatched the glass from the doctor's hooves, not attempting to appear distinguished, and drank it all in 3 gulps. Once finished with the beverage, Pucci hoofed it back to the doctor and wiped his mouth. “Thank you, kind sir. But repeating myself: where am I?” He asked.

The doctor seemed to shift uncomfortably in silence before taking a calming breath. "Well, sir, I don't want you to freak out in your condition, but you've been asleep for three days now." The doctor flinched seeing Pucci's shocked expression, dismissively waving his forelegs frantically. "L-Let me explain. To answer your question, you're currently in one of Canterlot castle's guest rooms. Princess Twilight had teleported into the medical wing of the castle that night, looking frantic as she held your unconscious body in her magic."

He then took a moment to whisper something to the other doctors, one leaving the room afterward. Moments passed before they returned, now with a clipboard held by their wing. "Thank you." Said the young doctor as he took the clipboard.

Having a bad feeling in his gut, Pucci stared at the clipboard with uncertainty, "Taking a guess, that's my medical record?" He questioned.

The doctor nodded, scanning over the attached paper on the clipboard before looking up, "Yes, you are correct. When you came in, you had: multiple fractured bones, most being in the hind legs, right foreleg, and skull. Multiple muscle tears and sprains. And some of your organs were ruptured too." He listed off with a grim tone to his voice.

"Am I going to be okay?" Pucci said in an even voice, showing off his calm mask to hide his inner nervousness.

"Oh, yes, you will be, sir." The doctor chuckled lightly but quickly disappeared, "It's just we haven't gotten a case like this since THAT day." He said, looking away. You could practically feel the pity oozing from his voice.

That day, when harmony and magic itself were under attack by three monsters. Tierek, the magic-sucking centaur. Queen Chrysalis, the tyrannical changeling queen. Finally, Cozy Glow, the manipulating filly pegasus. These three creatures wreaked havoc across Equestria on a mission to beat it into submission, taking absolute power for themselves. Beings like Sombra caused problems in the crystal empire, foalnapping the princess of love's child and enslaving the entire country. Fortunately, Sombra and the other monsters' chaos didn't last long due to the intervention of Twilight and her friends. Following an arduous battle, Tierek, Chrysalis, and Cozy were all defeated and turned to stone by the elements of harmony, the young six, and the pillars. Now they reside in the palace's gardens to this very day.

Ever since their defeat, Pucci had something of admiration towards the three groups, viewing them as respectable folk. Although, what they did after defeating Cozy Glow the first time did leave somewhat of a sour taste in his mouth, even if the child was misguided.

Nonetheless, to have injuries that rival those of the attack on Canterlot was certainly eyebrow-raising to the astronomer, but he managed to keep his calm expression, "I see, have any of those injuries healed yet?" He asked, knowing that the medical care in Canterlot was second to none.

The doctor nodded happily, "Indeed. The most concerning injuries, like broken bones or torn muscles, have healed. But after that muscle relaxing spell we put on you wears off, you'll feel discomforts like soreness and minor headaches. " Pulling two bottles from under his medical garbs, the doctor placed them on the table next to Pucci's bed, "When the spell wears off in a couple of hours, take one of each, and it'll help."

Pucci allowed a smile to pass his mask, taking the bottles and going to put them in his inner coat pocket, only to find that he was nude underneath the sheets. “Where…are my clothes?” He said, holding back an embarrassed blush.

“Oh, when you came in, your clothing was in shreds. There wasn’t anything we could’ve done, but you could place an order for a new pair at a local tailor.”

Nodding in bitter acceptance, Pucci placed the bottles back on the table, pulling the sheets covering him a little higher than before. He had always been fond of clothes since the nobles and ponies around were rarely seen without any. To be out in the open like that made Pucci’s skin crawl in discomfort.

Just then, the door to the room was opened once more, and in came the Princess of Equestria, Twilight sparkle. "I was informed that the patient was awake; is he lucid?" She asked the startled doctors.

"Y-Yes, your majesty!" One of the medical practitioners blurted out.

Princess Twilight faced the specific doctor with a kind expression, "Good, and I appreciate your service." The princess of friendship thanked, "But he and I need to have a private chat now. So if you could leave, please?" she asked politely.

It didn't take a second time to ask the doctors to leave the room, leaving Pucci and the princess left. It was for a good reason, too, as Pucci felt the tension suffocating him from the princess's hardened gaze. Moments of tense silence passed before her gaze softened into a tired look.

"I don't know how Celestia could act so serious and make it convincing." She muttered under her breath. That wasn't convincing enough for her? "I'm not even going to try the good cop, bad cop routine on somepony who just woke up, mister?" She said, drawing the last word out as if waiting for an answer.

Pucci caught on to the princess's tone and coughed into his hoof, " My full name is Pucci star ray, but most ponies just call me Pucci, your highness." He introduced himself.

Silence gripped the room again as Twilight looked at Pucci, deep in thought, her eyes grazing every part of his face. But as this went on, her eyes grew wider and wider until they were the size of dinner plates. Eventually, Pucci had to fold back his ears to avoid being deafened by the monarch's filly-like squeal while she happily pranced in place.

"Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh! I knew I'd seen you from somewhere!" She exclaimed, stopping her prancing and pointing a hoof at Pucci, "You're that famed astronomer from the Canterlot research center of space and science, right?"

Shaking the surprise from the call out from his face, Pucci gave a polite nod, "Um, yes, I am." He meekly replied, not knowing how to approach the princess’s... unusual attitude.

She squealed again, thankfully, a little quieter this time. "I can't believe you’re here in the flesh! It's almost like meeting star swirl all over again! I’ve read every one of your published research papers so much that I’d memorized them word for word. Like the one, you wrote about the snowball cluster, known for its pure white color and round shape. You were a big inspiration for my love of astronomy. And you being here is a lifelong dream come true! "

…What?

Did the princess of Equestria…have a fanfilly freak out in front of Pucci? To see the usually elegant and esteemed ruler of Equestria act like that was a curveball to him. Pucci started to think the muscle relaxing spell the doctors used was messing with his head somehow. And did she say that he was an inspiration for her?

Pucci was flabbergasted and could barely get a sentence out, only being able to say: “I- um -thanks, Princess Twilight?” He said.

The princess had contained her excitement by then, dawning a friendly smile, “Sorry, it seems I also need to work on controlling myself.” She giggled. “But fanfare aside, there is something I need to ask of you.” Her expression fell as her demeanor reflected total seriousness. “First off, what was that…thing behind you when you fought Valiant?” Twilight questioned.

Pucci looked down at the bedsheets, trying to recall the night’s events. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Pucci answered truthfully. “My memories of that incident are quite blurry at the moment.” Closing his eyes, Pucci waited for Twilight to speak.

“Hmm, that is troubling.” Twilight mumbled to herself, “I guess ramming yourself 6 feet into a theater wall WOULD cause some head problems.” She said, cringing at the memory.

“What did you say?” Pucci blurted out, eyeing the princess with disbelief. His eyes widened suddenly, thinking his question was rudely delivered, “Forgive me, your highness. It’s just that what you said was…strange.” He apologized.

Twilight’s lips turned up in a gentle smile as she chuckled, “It’s alright, Pucci. I know that was sudden of me to say, so your reaction is justified. And, please, just call me Twilight. As for what happened. Well…”

Princess Twilight (1st person)

Three nights ago

Tonight was…certainly a wild one, to say the least. When I got coronated, I knew that being the ruler of Equestria wouldn’t be some summer vacation. But it was way more than I thought it was.

Every day was devoted to some minor or borderline laughable task or complaint that would kill somepony like Rainbow Dash by boredom with how tedious they were. Why should I care that somepony didn't get your food order correctly?!

Don't even get me started on diplomacy-related tasks. Despite what most believe, not everypony in Equestria is accepting of friendship like the changelings. The races like dragons and minotaurs are still adamant about fully opening their borders. Being mainly cut-off and independent-based societies for most of their lives is a reasonable excuse. But it feels like if I make one wrong move, there will be a bloody war on my hooves, even though there was no tension between the three nations! The stress from my new position as ruler of Equestria has been taxing to me; I noticed more fallen-out hairs on my pillow than usual.

Nonetheless, after attending the thousandth business opening today, I decided to take a break from it for a few hours. Conveniently, there was a music performance in Canterlot tonight featuring a piece by Mustang Handel, one of the best musicians in Equestrian history. It certainly wasn't what I would call a getaway, seeing as though I wasn't that big on classical music. But it was the best I could think of while a noble mare was ranting about a rude manager or something.

So as it went, I got there, the show started, and I was enjoying the music quite a bit. It was soothing, sure, but it didn't have the same impact as Viynl's tracks when she would perform at one of many Pinkie Pie's parties.

Pinkie Pie’s parties, oh, how I’ve missed those.

But sentimental aside, I had felt a strange energy amongst the crowd; an energy that gave off pure bad vibes. Peering into the sea of nobles, I used a magic tracking spell to home in on the strange feeling, finally settling on a shadow-covered pony walking closer to the stage. The overhead lights in the theater were dim at the time, only focused on the stage itself, so I couldn't make out any details.

Once the figure got on stage, though, I couldn't contain my shock. There in the spotlight, wearing pieces of trash in the shape of royal guard armor, was Valiant heart. He...hadn't been seen in days!

Valiant heart, he was probably the most loyal guard I'd ever met, always trying to achieve this imaginary expectation Celestia and I had of the guards. He worked tirelessly on any assignment given to him to get recognition and rise to the rank of captain; Celestia, at the time, couldn't allow that. Valiant was born with a condition called bipolar disorder, a disorder that causes massive mood swings of varying degrees. For example, One moment, he would be laughing and joking with his fellow guards, then the next minute, he'd try to beat them because somepony said some minor thing wrong. It only got worse after the Canterlot attack. He would also develop PTSD from the event, and it sent him into a dark spiral. Luckily, Celestia and I were able to give him and many others like him the proper treatments they needed by putting them in programs to help with troubled ponies.

And in a couple of years, Valiant was back in the guard, now on medication. But something changed within Valiant. I would see him sneering at fellow guards I was talking to as he walked by them, always mumbling to himself and generally being closed off from everypony else.

At the time, I'd thought he was just nervous or reluctant to converse with anypony, seeing as he was locked up in a treatment facility for a long time. So I had him assigned to the newly formed retrieval squad, a group of guards tasked with scouting missions to obtain special items. And for their first task, I had ordered them to retrieve documents from a dragon diplomat in the dragon lands concerning trading routes. I would have done it myself if I could, but my schedule was packed, and I had little time to take a trip down to their lands.

As I had sent the squad off, I had that strange feeling about Valiant again. That smile. It did not convey happiness or the cockiness of the other guards; it was the type that was... off-putting, to put it lightly. I had shrugged it off as paranoia; I hadn't seen him smile that much after his treatment.

Days went by, then weeks, and almost a month before I heard anything back about the retrieval squad. They had been murdered, said the search group I sent out days prior. The photos I was presented with honestly made me want to throw up. Their bodies were mangled and torn, limbs missing, and faces frozen in agony. Apparently, the search group found their corpses poking out of a large pile of fallen stone which they theorized to be a landslide at first. But when the autopsy reports came in, there were signs of struggle: puncture wounds, slash marks, and broken bones. I was to believe that everypony in the squad was killed, but...

Valiant was the only survivor.

I still get a cold chill when I saw him again, his fur in shambles and a crazed look in his eyes. The stallion shook like a leaf in the wind and would flinch any time somepony got close to him; he was worse than after the Canterlot attack all those years ago. We tried to get any information about who would have done it out of him, but he kept saying things about a "kind cloaked stallion" and "a ghost that followed him around.". Unfortunately, we got nothing and had to send him to a care facility under the rule of insanity.

But when the guards went to retrieve him from the hospital room he was staying in to transfer him to a new room, he was missing. He wasn't hiding, and there was no sign of foalnapping. Even the nurses and doctors working there hadn't seen him leave. There were attempts to search the surrounding area, eventually the entire city of Canterlot, but Valiant wasn't found until now.

And seeing him like that, wildly proclaiming to enact murder, was painful for me. To see such a loyal guard get reduced to some raving lunatic covered in trash. When it got to the point where that ghost showed up behind him, attacking and…killing all those poor ponies, I couldn’t stand by. All the signs pointed back to him back then, but I refused to have any charges placed on him because I didn't want to believe it.

Princess Twilight (3rd person)

Present day

“And I’m sure that you know the rest from there.” Twilight sighed as she rolled the stiffness from her neck, “After our fight, you got caught in the middle of it and got hurt as well; I’m sorry for that.” She apologized.

Pucci shook his head, shifting his half-lying position until he was sitting up in the bed, “It’s not your fault, Twilight. I was the one he wanted all along, after all.” Pucci looked down with a solemn expression, “I am also sorry for what happened with Valiant, even if he is a murderer. It's a good thing you try to see the best in ponies.”

Twilight flashed a thankful smile before continuing, “Thanks, but going back to my original question: What was that thing behind you?” She questioned Pucci again.

“Can you be more specific, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Twilight sighed again, “After you seemingly teleported us onto the stage, I thought you used some sort of magic,” She looked up at Pucci’s head with confusion, “But you don’t have a horn. That’s when you got out from under me and approached Valiant. I saw that thing appear behind you as you kept talking, and Valiant had also seen it. He backed away with a look of fear and threatened to shoot again. You didn’t listen to him, and he shot an arrow at your face.” Twilight swallowed a nervous gulp, facing Pucci with concern and mild fear, “But then you just…disappeared before our eyes, now somehow right next to him. He could barely get a word out before you tackled him into the wall, going a few feet before stopping and instantly knocking him out, along with yourself.”

Pucci (1st person)

As I continued to listen to Twilight's retelling of that night, my disbelief grew more and more. Was this some kind of joke or way to make fun of me? There was no way I could do something like that as an earth pony! From what I could recall of that fight, I barely made Valiant move with my punch; now Twilight’s telling me I ran him and me through several feet of brick and wood.

My body was shaking, and a cold sweat is running down my fur, but I need to keep it hidden from the princess in order to not ruin first impressions. I raised my hoof in front of my face and gave a few test squeezes. Had I done that? The somewhat scrawny astronomer who hasn’t gotten into a single fight in his life? Me? “To tell you the truth, your highness, I do not know of this ‘ghost’ you speak of,” I reply, trying my best to keep the bile in my stomach. “But what about Moondancer, is she okay?” I ask, a hint of desperation in my voice.

Twilight nodded, some of my worries instantly fading from my mind, “yes, she is. Doctors got to her quickly and managed to patch her wounds. By the way, how do you know Monndancer.” She says with an eyebrow raised. I was about to answer her question when a sickening feeling attacked my stomach at full force, adding a slight green hue to my face.

I jumped out of the bed, finding and making my way over to the room's bathroom that wasn’t too far from me. Throwing open the door, I locked onto the toilet, borderline smashing my face into the opening in one swift motion. After a couple of minutes of emptying my stomach and dry heaving, I shakingly rose from the toilet and shuffled my way towards the sink I nearly smashed into coming in. Once my eyes stopped on the mirror, however, they widened in shock. Besides the multi-colored hue surrounding me, a figure lurked behind me.

He was a thin, white stallion with a smooth, black surface on his head; embedded with a large clock in place of its eyes with a crown of green thorns wrapped around the top of his skull. Feathers the same color as the aura surrounding me protruded from his collarbone, clocks rested on the figure's shoulders and flank, a golden tube connected the upper and lower parts of his back, and his hooves were covered in golden shoes. The figure itself hadn’t done anything, only resting its forelegs over my shoulders and hovering his face next to mine, also staring into the mirror.

A drop of sweat rolled down the side of my pale face, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw princess Twilight looking directly at me and the figure in shock. I paid no heed, only keeping my attention on the figure.

No…’ figure’ wasn’t his name.

“So, you’re Made in Heaven?” I asked the figure. I got no verbal reply, only a simple nod, which made Twilight flinch. At this point, I didn’t know what to do besides stare in stunned silence.

What in Tartarus is going on?