Me and my bucking mouth. Should have known this wasn't gonna be easy the moment I even considered trying to take the castle, which belonged to two of the most powerful equestrians in this world, and now I'm faced with a dangerous situation of possible eradication. But before we go Into that, we rewind to meeting up with the the lifeforce of the forest which is now called the Flame of Evergreen thanks to yours truly. I have to admit their look changed a bit more drastically than I ever would have imagined, the tree looked 20 feet bigger and 100 feet taller while twisted a little like there were multiple trees growing into it, there was more green in the leaves while being a bigger canvas, and best of all, the green flames were entirely swirling through the branches and leaves without burning them, even the squirrels were enjoying their flowing glow. "I see you're enjoying your new form." A portion of the flames split off and reached down before forming itself into a slender and very green equestrian, if dryads could look like any horse, it would be Shire Akhal-Teke horses crossbreeds. "Well with a new name comes with a new form, and we- I mean I am enjoying this very much. I've evolved from being the very soul of the forest and I can see everything that I've never seen before, I can finally enjoy everything about my forest!" Oh boy, hope I didn't cause an infraction in the TSC (Time stream continuum) cuz the forest will have to take over the castle in the future.

"Glad I can help." It probably might be the loneliness talking but their figure was looking... Enticing. Dang that's one heck of a figure. Rrrowr. Evergreen smirked as they knew what I was thinking. "Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment. I was taken aback as I didn't know I was using telepathy. "Whoops, sorry. You were not meant to hear that. Ahem, I will need help." They raised an eyebrow. "Of course, whatever you will need." "I will need someone to carry a message for me to the occupants of the castle over yonder so that I don't seem like I'm invading." Evergreen hummed to themselves before summoning up a piece of bark and burned in a message in a language that I clearly cannot read, typical, I have the auto translator for animals but not for foreign written language.

"That should do it, they should be expecting you and not raising a spear at you immediately." They have a bird take the bark to the castle. But just incase I needed to make sure there are no misundersatdings, I check by asking. "Exactly... What did you wright down?" They looked at me with a tilted head. "I simply wrote the future demon lord will be coming over to make himself known." "Oh thank goodness, I thought it was gonna be..." At that moment realization hits like a ton of bricks. "Oh shiitake mushrooms fudge, I don't think you realize the gravity of what you have done." I walked away muttering some PG curse words before getting ready to... Meet some princesses. I was a total nervous wreck, been quite a long while since I talked to a single soul that was relatively human so I will have to look the part of demon lord, only I have no idea how to do that since I don't have a FFFFFFFUDGING PONY ANALYZED! Thankfully, luck was on my side as Jingo sounded off.

"Master Jack, we have an intruder!" It cant possibly be that easy, could it? "Bring them to me, I want to know who would dare walk into the deep dark woods." I bounced along the path that lead me to my pack of Emberwolves and what seemed like a dark red furred unicorn and boy he was sloshed, guess he was hitting the apple cider pretty hard. "Unhamd ne yah son of a baboon! *Hic! Don't cha know who I am!?" I could tell that he was gonna be trouble if we don't get rid of him, usually drunkards like this guy would spout of that nonsense because they are unnamed wealthy kind that likes to kick people around for fun. so I put on my best door-to-door-salesmen act, or as I like to call it, the devil making a deal. "My friend do I have good news for you, your life is about to take a turn for the better and you'll be making a lot of lives easier, mainly mine but allot of lives too."

"What a-are you talking bout freak?" I disregarded that slur and kept going. "Oh nothing too fancy, I just happen to have all this wealth and not a single pony that knows about economics to share it with. All you have to do is agree to a deal and I will turn your life around." The jerk sobered up a tad and looked at me with hungry and greedy eyes. "Wealth ya say? Hic!* I could use some of that, You got a deal!" I smile as best as I could make my slimy face could manage. "Believe me, your help is most appreciated." Quick as a flash I gobbled him up in one bite and digested the jerk slowly because... well I haven't the fastest metabolism yet and I had to analyze the guy before absorbing him. It was a good thing he couldn't yell out in pain because of the numbing poisons in my body and the alcohol circulating in his, if anything he was feeling nothing but pleasure as he disintegrated from flesh, to bone, and then to nothing. At least the guy went out the way any of us wanted... Yeah. I probably do need a therapist.

"Er... Master, was it necessary to kill him in such a manner? If I had ears at the moment, they would be folded back. "Afraid so Jingo, nobody was going to miss the jerk and I needed the body so that I don't freak everyone out." Analyses complete, Imitation ready for activation. Shall I list you the skills you gained. "Thank you Sage, just let me skim through it." As I had my little transformation sequence, I mentally scrolled through the skills I absorbed from the jerk- GAAAAAH! I'm getting tired of saying that J word! Anyways, the skills I saw was... Utterly useless for fights! What is this, passive aggression, tax fraud!? Nope these are not what i- Ooh subtext... While the skill is not meant for battle it is useful to recognize what currency is being squandered and by who. Okay useful for ruling a kingdom and to find what is missing. I scrolled some more and just found some telekinesis spell and something that I liked better. Aha! Now this skill is more useful. Appraisal! I know that this skill will be useful. Speaking of magic, my eyesight has gotten much more proficient that I can see different colors

"Master... Are you sure you absorbed that pony right? You look very different than him." As a matter of fact, when I snapped back to reality, I got a better look at myself so that I can see what Jingo was talking about. My fur was navy blue, the tail and mane were crimson red and I was at least 6 foot. "Hmmm, not bad, not bad at all. I don't mean to sound narcist but I make this look good. Hey Sage, mind producing a mirror?" A mirror of slime was produced so that I can see my face and honestly- "Holy Buddha's barbeque! How did this happen!?" -I wasn't expecting to become a bicorn. I mean the face was ruggedly good looking enough but the horns were unexpected. "Sage, I think appraisal will needed to be used sooner than expected. If you could?" Processing... Appraisal complete. Your bicorn form shares the traits of unicorns such as control of magic. Although the mythology is questionable as they were known to be wicked creatures that ate humans. "Yeah that seemed accurate, any chance of any humans in this world? The probability of a human is... 0%, so not a chance. "Thanks for the percentage accuracy." I should also mention that bicorns are more likely to be can-

"Ah tut tut tut! I don't need to learn that last part, being a meat eater is enough for my conscience to bear. Jingo, I need you to gather 6 of your best pack members and meet me at the entrance of the forest." He stood at attention as he was given an important assignment. "As you command master!" He then ran off to gather his team while I made my way to the entrance, it gave me time to mull over what I have. Hmmm, I seem to be evolving faster than intended, I mean I'm not ingesting magicules like crazy as magical minerals are replaced by- Oh my gods I'm a solar panel for magical energy! "Sage, emergency situation, I need to slow down the consumption of the magical energy." Three steps ahead of you jack. As you were contemplating, I've done a recent scan on your biology. It seems that your body was accumulating a massive amount of energy so I have adjusted your consumption and output of magical energy before you reached critical mass. "Well that's a relief, thank you for that sage. This is why I want to call you the great sage equal to heaven." I don't know how but that made him smug, also don't know if it was a good thing or not but I don't have time to worry about it.

When I got to the entrance of the forest, Jingo was there waiting for me wagging his ember fire tail being a good boy. Yes I said that Jingo was a good boy now shut up, all dogos are good boys, wild or not. I had gathered the best of my pack master! We're ready to go! I smiled because of the golden retriever vibes Jingo was producing. "Good boy Jingo, let's be on our way. OOP! Almost forgot, everyone just follow behind in defensive formation." Better to be safe than sorry. We made our way out in a nonaggressive formation down the roads. 5 minutes in, and already there was a bucking awkward silence. "Soooo... Ever wanted to start a civilization?" Jingo looked at me with curiosity. "Actually nevermind, probably would be too much trouble to to keep track of."

"Maybe not as dificult as you think master, with pack mentality you can keep track of anyone that is a member of your kingdom or province. "Jingo you certified, beautiful, good boy genius! That can make things easier for all of us when we get more members in the future!" We talked on the way to the castle until we arrived. Gotta say, it's actually impressive for a pony made stone piled fortress when it's not in ruins. When we approached two of the guards standing by the gate had their spears raised, I can tell they were plenty trained to never show fear but they do reek of it, super smell does have it's benefits. "Halt, identify yourselves!" Well this is gonna be a classic *scare the guards to run* bit or however they call it. So since there is no point in hiding who I am as they saw my horns, I might as well introduce myself in the most villainous way possible just for fun. I gave one of those anime side smiles and activated one of the skills I wanted to try as a trial run. Skill activate, Menacing! "Why, didn't your princesses tell you? I'm Jack Inferknight, the one who demands to speak to them. Are you going to let me in or do I have to lodge a complaint?" The invisible aura flowed through them and they proceeded to empty their bladders while their pupils went small along with their irises. Casualty report: 13 ponies became confused, 7 fainted, 20 ran away, and 15 soiled themselves before they could reach a bathroom. I don't think I needed to know that last part sage, but still that was hilarious.

What's left of the guards that were conscious or otherwise kept their composure spilled out of the gate to surround us with spears and flying swords, otherwise a good start in my case. "You are under arrest for causing a disturbance to the peace, and making some of our militants to empty their bowls Barbarian Bicorn!" When all was said and don, Jingo used thought communication so as to ask, Shall we tear them apart master? They are pointing their spears at us. That would be a good case of self defense, but no. This is a surefire way to get us to the princesses, one way or another we have to tell them... Something. I just realized, how do I explain to two demigod princesses that I need to borrow their soon to be ruined castle for a thousand year nap? I have a feeling that I just bumbled myself into trouble. "Hehe, sorry. It's been a while since I've been social to other ponies, I merely forgotten how to act around others."

The guards looked at each other in confusion before the leader spoke up, "Well in any case we still have to escort you inside, whatever you did made several citizens embarrass themselves by emptying their bowels." On that note, I agreed to come along but my Emberwolves insisted to form a circle around me for protection sake. The view of the castle is amazing though, not covered in moss and mold and everything is brighter... But I was getting the feeling that there was a dark force coming from where I was headed, it was almost as bad as my sister's when she was on the red river. Oh buck, I'm having a bad feeling about this... Oh well, worry for future jack I suppose. We go through great halls, see some paintings, I think we passed by the kitchen once before arriving at the throne room with the sister rulers sitting in said thrones.

Jack Inferknight. The sister in white, Celestia, announced. We have been expecting you. And there's the younger sister in blue, Luna. Had I not be in a situation where they could vaporize me, I would find their physique alluring... Oh what the Tartarus, of course I do. Though I can't let that intimidate me in the least, I got an image to protect. "Let me guess, you sensed my charming personality sweet cheeks?" I give a friendly grin, or the best as I could give one considering how long it's been since I had a face, but that did not amuse the monarch sisters really, in fact it might have made one of the sisters more irate as Luna lifted up the bark letter. "This pelted me by one of the wild birds from the Everfree forest." I couldn't help but cringe at that. "Ooh, sorry about that. Kinda new at being a leader of a forest, or anything really." She rolled her eyes before looking to Celestia. "Sister, is this really the malevolent spirit that we sensed? He seems more like a perverted bicorn that has no idea what he is doing, I say we get rid of him the same way we dealt with the spirit of chaos.

"Patience sister, let us not be of haste. The worst he has done is scare the daylights out of the little ponies." It was a good thing that she had more of a level head than Luna. Let us get to the point, who are you really and why have you come here? And also possibly the smartest woman in the room. "If it wouldn't offend your highnesses, I'd rather not show my form around the public eye. Could you tell your guards to leave the room? I'll have mine do the same for the guarantee of trust." Celestia gives a nod to the guards and I've had my Emberwolves take their exit with them. After they exited, I let red vortex surround me as I felt myself shrunk. "If you could, try not to laugh, I'm not exactly a pony that you would expect." After the transformation is complete I hopped over a bit closer so that they could see me as a I am. A red bucking slime.

"Ladies, have no fear or hate, I'm just a friendly slime. Slurp..." Aaaaaah crab apples, the cringe was so strong I could have used it as a bludgeoning weapon. "Ahem, as for the reason I'm here, I need a place to hibernate for a few centuries or maybe a 1000 years. A great evil is coming and I'd rather that I would help put a stop to it because... Well I happen to like this world and I'd rather not have it fall to darkness, plants and some animals can't really survive without sunlight." I was looking directly at Luna at the last part of the sentence. "Are you suggesting something you little- Celestia interrupted her before she could finish. "You certainly have some charm about you Mr. friendly slime, we'll have to discus this issue sometime later. For now, you may stay with us as a guest." Luna looked appalled at the idea to which she "Doth protest". Celestia, ye seriously can't be considering letting a shape-shifting monster stay in our halls! "He could be a great asset to the kingdom dear sister, ye protest too much. We shall have the guards escort you to your room. I gave the most polite bow I could as I turned back into my Bicorn form. "Thank you for hearing me out your royal highnesses. Perhaps we could discuss this more over some wine." That may have seriously ticked off Luna a bit more as the dark presence was back and was directed at me. Seriously, how did Celestia not notice!?

We shall think on it Mr. Inferknight. Have a good rest. Having left the room I just realized that I was hitting on two celestial beings and I had only been reborn, not even a year old and I seem to be hitting all the right marks... Though I think I may have entered a situation where things are gonna get... Dicey. May whatever god, or even buddha himself, watching me spare me some mercy mercy cuz I do not want to face the wrath of a dark empress.

Author's Note

Fucking finally! Another one down and I got the extra paragraphs in. I may have made it dense but at least I was able to explain the reason why Jack was evolving faster than his predecessor has. Phew! I need sleep.