"This. Is. Humiliating." I watched as Orion and Jack walked into the living room, still in their female forms, and wearing frilly dresses. Part of their way of making it up to their sister. "How much longer do we have to be like this?" Orion asked as he pulled at his skirt.

"Yeah, these panties are riding up and I'm not sure if I hate it or like it. Hoping I'm not liking it." Jack squirmed in place.

"You can turn back when it stops being funny." I looked up and started to snicker. "Yeah, not anytime soon."

My boys let out an annoyed scoff before storming out the door. Jackie came in soon after and sat next to me. "One more week, then turn the girls back to boys."

"As my southern belle wishes." We shared a kiss before watching the movie. "Anything planned this week?"

"Just the usual. The regular chores, making the meals that drive you wild." Jackie nuzzled my side on that comment. "I'm hoping Tia will give us our newest family member sometime soon."

"Me too. If nothing else, so that I can stop making jalapeno cheesecake." We both laughed at that memory. "Anyway, I think I'm going to head back to the Edge. I want to see what else is there. Get that table working. Heck, I may even drop in on Ash."

"Well, if you do see him, send him our love." Jackie got up and headed for the kitchen.

"Will do." I got up and headed out. As I strolled through the orchard, my furry companion came up to me. "Hey, Herc. You doing alright?" He gave me a couple of barks before nudging my leg with his big head. "Bored huh? Hmm. Why don't you come with me? Get a chance to pee on some new trees." He gave me an excited bark before running circles around me. "I'll take that as a yes."

We raced to the end of the property before I opened up the portal to The Edge. No matter how many times I enter this uncharted world, I'll never get used to seeing the majesty of it.

"Ruff!" Herc liked it as he burst from my side and started rolling around in a field of wildflowers. He seemed to like it as he made happy growls and pants.

"You like the flowers, huh?" I smirked before reaching into my bag and pulled something out. "Look what I got." I waved his favorite ball. Herc bolted off the ground and ran around me. "Alright. Fetch!" I tossed the ball across the field and he ran after it. I ran after him, not knowing if we'd face any dangers.

We did this for about an hour before getting a drink from a stream. With our thirst quenched, I saw we were near the place I started calling the Citadel. "Come on, boy. Let's visit with Faust."

"Ruff!" Herc approved and ran ahead.

After one last game of fetch, we entered the Citadel. Already being here a number of times, the illusion kinda dimmed for me. Herc on the other hand leapt and bound all over the place. He was starting to act like a puppy again.

"Alright, alright, don't get too worked up. You might destroy this place even more than it already is." I patted his head to calm him down before getting to work. The lights were already on, so there was no trouble seeing what needed to be done. The problem was that there was just too much to do, even for a god.

After finally fixing the 20-something-odd pipes and covering them up, I took a break next to the table. "Tired already?" I looked up to see that Faust manifested and smiled down at me. "Surely, this much work hasn't made you sweat."

"I'm not sweating. And don't call me Sherrly." We laughed at the joke before I hugged her. "How have you been?"

"Can't complain. I've been going back and forth between here and Twilight's castle. I remember appearing while Twilight and Bob were on her throne. And Bob was acting as her cushion." She smirked at the last part. I swear, Celestia gets her perversion from her.

"Alright, alright! I don't need to hear anymore," I begged as she kept laughing.

“You seem a bit more lax than usual,” Faust said. “What’s wrong? Wishing there was more excitement?”

"... A little. I mean I love being a husband and father, but damn it! I need some action! I'd go to Valhalla, but you can only beat Wallace and Maximus so many times." I slumped down against the table and gave Herc a pat on the head.

“What’s wrong with, as you say, taking a load off?” Faust asked. “Equestria is in a state of peace that no pony has ever seen before and it’s all thanks to you. I can understand the warrior in you desires the thrill of the fight but sometimes it’s not always something to be sought for. A wise king never seeks war, after all.”

"They just prepare for it." I smiled at her advice and gave her neck a one-armed hug. Suddenly, the map table goes haywire and Faust's image fades in and out. "Hey, what's going on!?" We heard Herc whimper next to the table and a small yellow puddle formed by the table. "Herc!"

Herc whined as he jumped out of the way before I could grab hold of him. Suddenly, the table sparked up and what could only be described as a strange portal tore open in thin air.

"Oh shit!" The portal acted like a vortex and started sucking in everything in the room. I sank my claws into the ground to stop myself from going in, however, Hercules wasn't so lucky.

Herc let out a yelp before the portal took him. "Ruff! Ruff!"

"Herc!" I tried to grab him with my magic, but the suction was too strong and into the portal he went. "Nooo!"

After watching my dog get sucked in, I had no choice but to go in myself. "I'm coming for you, boy!" I let go of the floor and went into the portal after that pissing pooch.

I flew through the portal with determination while brandishing my axe. I don’t know why I brandished my axe, maybe for dramatic effect. I was soon out on the other side of the portal and found myself in the middle of a vast snowy landscape. Every inch of the area was covered in snow and frost, and it looked like I was on some mountainside.

"Fucking hell, that dog pissed us to Jotunheim." I looked around to see if any tracks could lead me to Herc. Since he was already in for a few seconds, then he was here for at least... wait, that's not how it works. "How does fucking time work here again?"

"Like this." That was the last thing I heard before my vision blacked out and my head started throbbing.

The next thing I knew as my eyes slowly opened up I was on my knees. I looked down at my arms to see they were bound together by some weird-looking glowing chains that somehow made me feel weak. Through my pounding head and blurred vision, I noticed that we were in some kind of cave.

“I see you’re awake.”

I looked up to see a man sitting on a rock. He wore a long grey hooded coat with silver pauldrons, a white undershirt with a black tie hanging loosely around his neck, black pants with silver knee guards, and black silver-toed boots. The white hood was over his head, I could somewhat make out his face since it wasn’t really covered by the hood but could tell it was definitely not a pony judging by the goatee. He was also armed with what looked like a straight sword that seemed to shine brighter than the sunlight, its golden cross guard looked like a pair of feathered wings, and the handle was pure white. However the most interesting part of this man was not its appearance, not its weapon, but the pair of large white feathered wings, the end of the feather tips shining a bright golden color, on its back that looked about the width of 8ft.

“So, mate,” he said with an Irish accent. “Mind tellin’ me what a fallen angel’s doin’ round here?”

"Fucking hell, not this shit again." I strained against my restraints before finally breaking them. "Not a Fallen Angel! Not an Angel!" I grabbed the fucker with Venom and brought him close as I wolfed out. "I am Lycan! Do you get that you Potatoe Eating Drunk!?"

“Jaysus, Mary, and Joseph!” The man yelped. Before I could slug his face, he turned into pure light and reappeared in front of me with his sword drawn and his white wings unfurled. “Lycan?! Them’s a fairytale!” He snapped. “Who the bloody hell are you to claim that?!”

“The guy who’s gonna kick your insulting ass!” I barked, cracking my fingers.

“Oi! Oi!” He yelped as I lunged at him. He dodged out of the way as I slammed my fist into the stone wall.

"Get back here. Mik!" I summoned my ax and it came flying through the stone and into my hand. "What the hell did you do with my dog!?"

“Dog?! What fockn’ dog?!” He yelled as I chased him out of the cave. He aimed his hand at me and fired beams of light. I easily swatted them away with my axe before throwing it right at his head. He barely managed to duck out of the way before spinning around and attempting to slash my arm.

"My dog! The one that went through the portal before me! Where is he!? And tell me quick before I chop you up and turn you into Haggis!" I yelled at him while blocking his glow-in-the-dark sword with my shield.

“You’re tryin to lahp me ‘ead ahff over a foehckin pooch?!" The man yelled as we traded blows, his accent becoming more thick. "What kend o’ badshit madness is dat abooeht?! I dahn’t even know yooehr foehckin dahg!”

"Fine. Then this is for knocking me out and chaining me up!" I slapped the fucker with my shield before kicking him in the balls.

The man grunted in pain before he actually returned the favor by blasting a hole through my side and kneed my groin. We both fell hard on the ground and dust kicked up around us while we held our family jewels. My wound healed quickly and it looked like his injuries were healing as well. Couldn’t say the same for my package though.

“Bloody fuckn’ hell…” the man groaned as we lay by each other. “It seems…we’ve come to…a stalemate.”

"It seems so." I looked in my pants to see my parts grow back. "Shuttle's in the hangar." I sat up against a rock as he did the same. "Got a name, or should I call you Notre Dame?" I smirked.

“Easy, fido,” the man sneered as he propped himself up on his elbow. “McHaggard, Phillip. Angel’s Saint. That last part made my eyebrows perk up. “Yes, Saint Michael himself gave me this job.”

"Joe Huffstutler. God of War, Odinson." I got up and recalled my ax. "Do me a favor and not spout God's grace in every sentence, it gives me a rash."

“Not me style,” Phill said as he got up, and we stood in front of each other. He pulled his hood off allowing me to get a good look at his face. Guy sported a pretty stylish goatee and his brown hair reached his shoulders.

“Let’s start over, shall we?” Phill offered. “My apologies for the clonk on the noggin. I’ve been told black wings are a tad of a giveaway for those who’ve fallen from grace. And considerin’ ya came at me like a mad dog, no offense, it’s clear ya ain’t one neither.”

"Again, you struck first. You're lucky this isn't the first time I've been mistaken for a fallen Angel." I sheathed my ax and returned to my human form. "Now, can you tell me where I am? I thought I entered Jotunheim, and I'd like to find my dog."

“You’re in Equestria,” Phill answered, making my eyebrows perk up again. “Specifically Yakyakistan.”

"Just north of the Crystal Empire, correct?" His reaction matched mine. "I live in my own Equestria. I stick to Sweet Apple Acres most days. And you? How long have you lived here?"

“That right?” Phill spoke, crossing his arms. “So…there’s more.” He shook his head and turned his head back to me. “Been here for about a year now. Was brought here to help fight the war.”

“War?” I said, sounding serious.

“Unfortunately yes,” Phill sighed. “We fight against the Seven Sins demons, who were brought here by one Dainn Stonehoof.”

"Him again?" I asked, seeming to think this fucker is everywhere.

"You heard of him?" Phil asked.

"Burned him alive with a tire around his waist after killing his sons and before giving Blueblood the Blood Eagle." I boasted.

“Jaysus, man,” Phill gulped. “Well, then you got off easy finishing your problem before it could begin. Us? The bastards put the whole fockn’ planet under his hoof in less than a year. Well, most of it, nowadays. Two of the seven were just offed. Now we focus on the third who’s holed up here with the yaks.” Phill then frowned and looked away. “But like every victory, there’s also loss. My friend blames himself still for not being there on time to save him.”

“Who?” I asked hesitantly.

“Rutherford,” Phill answered, shocking me.

"I've met him before. Bit thickheaded, but has a good heart. How... how did he die?" Starting to dislike this world with every word.

“Sloth,” Phill said bitterly. “Among the Sins so far, he’s the most diabolical. Beheaded the prince in front of his own people. Now…it’s as if the yaks have lost all hope.”

"After seeing their leader beheaded in front of them, I can see why. Wait, Sloth? I thought he was supposed to be some sort of lazy fuck?" I asked.

“And yet, he was able to do something so cruel and fucking sickening in front of his whole kingdom,” Phill said.

"I see. Well. While I look for my dog, how about I help you?"

"What? Why?" Phil asked me.

"Been meaning to get a little action. What better way than by fighting caribou and traitors?"

"Not to mention that we're starving!" Venom said as he came out of my shoulder.

“FUCKN’ HELL!” Phill yelled before involuntarily blasting venom with a beam of holy light.

Venom shook off the blow. "Do that again, and we will eat your body and use your head for bowling!"

“The bloody fock is that?!” Phill demanded.

I shoved Venom back down. "He's complicated, to say the least."

Phill gave me a look before nodding. “I’ll…choose to ignore that. For now, I’ll take ya up on your offer.” Phill then pointed towards a smaller mountain range. “Off to the southwest, me crew reported a fairly large weapons plant. If you could believe it, these arseholes are makin’ weapons from my neck of the woods. That being guns and weaponized vehicles.”

“How would they be able to do that?” I wondered.

“The Sins,” Phill answered. “They were summoned from Hell and brought humanity’s ingenuity with them. How do you think the world fell so quickly?”

"Magic and dispatching units as friendly forces for one." I reached into my bag and brought out my AA12. "As the saying goes. Fight fire with fire."

Phil and I were scouting the mountain range where the weapons factory was. "Okay, so tell me what weapons and vehicles they were able to create?"

“Rifles, armored vehicles, and I hear explosives goin’ off too,” Phill answered. “Not to mention they’re on the verge of aircraft.”

"Guess it's time to halt production then." We crested the top of the mountain and saw a huge factory. "Looks like we found it."

I already didn’t like what I saw. Several large buildings with thick chimney stacks billowing black smoke sat in a cluster of the area. My nose twitched from the foul stench in the air, and I could see what was happening within the plant. Both ponies and yaks were all chained up and were working to the bone. Meanwhile, caribou, brainwashed ponies, traitor ponies, and even brainwashed and traitor yaks stood on guard.

“YAK WORK FASTER!” One traitor yak barked as he whipped another yak. “YAK NO EAT! YAK MAKE WEAPONS FOR LORD SLOTH!”

"This is fucked up. I mean what the shit?" I looked around and saw that the factory was surrounded by high mountains. "Phil. I have a plan. Think you can keep up?"

“What do ya have in mind?” Phill asked.

A couple of hours later

I placed the last of the C-4 explosives on top of the eastern mountain range. I took out my radio and called Phil. "Phil. The last explosive is in place. How are things on your end?"

“Aye,” Phill responded. “And can I just say, you’re as mad as a march hare?”

"I see myself more as the Hatter than the Hare. Anyway, meet me at the east side of the mountain." I clicked the radio off and set the timer.

I looked back down at the factory below while I waited for Phill. As I waited, the wind blew against me made me catch a whiff of a familiar scent. I narrowed my eyes and sniffed the air more. The more I sniffed, the more familiar the scent got. It wasn’t until the wind blew again did I recognize the scent. It was young, too young for comfort, along with the stench of sweat and semen paired with it.

“Oye!” Phill finally made it to my position and noticed my fangs protruding out of my mouth as my rage began to build. “Joe? What’s on you, man?”

"I hear them... the young ones..." I crushed the stone in front of me as I fully wolfed out. "I hear their screams!"

BOOM!!

The explosions happened simultaneously and the results were just as planned. Snow began to fall from the mountains creating a massive avalanche from all sides. I jumped forward while spreading my wings and rode the snow with Phill.

As we drew closer to the facility, I saw a couple of caribou hiding behind a large rock. They may escape the snow and rocks, but they won't escape my claws.

I grabbed them both by their throats and stabbed one of them with the other's antlers before tearing the other's throat clean off.

“Jaysus!” Phill yelled. “Ya certainly don’t hold back, do ya?!”

"They made this world ugly! I'm just returning the favor!" I roared over the booming noise of the avalanche.

BANG!

The avalanche worked a little too well. Soldiers started spilling out of the woodwork and they all aimed their weapons at us. "We've got trouble!" Phil roared before drawing his sword.

"Trouble?" I brought out my shotgun and cocked it. "I call it sport." I hopped onto the nearest chunk of ice and rode it down like a snowboard. I started firing into the crowd of Caribou and Yaks, painting the snow red. "Come and get it, you motherfuckers!"

The enemy fired at us, most of them missing, but a few hit home, making me stumble and fall into the avalanche. I felt like I was in a raging river filled with rocks. I had no way of knowing which way was up, all while trying to hold onto my gun and consciousness. After I stopped, I heard the fuckers climbing over the snow and rocks firing at Phil.

When I felt three soldiers above me, I burst through the snow and scared the crap out of them. I grabbed the shotgun in the yak's hands and shot him in the gut. The two caribou with him tried to turn me into Swiss cheese, that is until I bit the one on the right in the neck and opened the other's ribs with my bare hands. "Damn, this is fun!"

Soon, I heard what sounded like a buzz saw coming from one of the buildings. Before I could look to see what was happening, Phil tackled me to the ground just as bullets started raining down where we stood. "Fucking hell, what the hell do they have up there!"

I peeked over the rubble to find out, just before they fired again and I ducked again. "Bastard's got an MG 42. Hitler's Buzzsaw!"

“Bloody fuckn’ shite! Got any ideas?!” Phill shouted as he fired some beams of light, only to duck right back down behind our cover that was being quickly chipped away.

"Yeah. Get behind me!" I unfurled my shield and rushed out, blocking the bullets and making everything sound popcorn popping. "Shoot the fucker when they reload!"

“Aye!” Phill said as I grit my teeth behind the onslaught of bullets.

We both pushed forward as the bullets rained down on us. A few of them strayed and hit my legs, causing me to stumble a bit. After ten seconds, the barrage stopped. "Give them hell!"

Phil jumped out from behind me and started blasting the window where the shots came from. Soon, the window was replaced with a giant hole in the side of the building.

"That was some good shooting. Excessive, but effective," I noted before looking around to see the yard was empty of enemies. "I guess we got them all"

"Aye. Now all that's left is to destroy the factory and free the lasses," Phil told me before leading the way into the large factory.

The place was nothing less than an assembly line of death. Machine parts that built car parts and guns. Posters of that bastard Dainn with various females worshipping his cock strewn about the place as propaganda. The walls were adorned with guns and ammo. "They got some major league toys here."

"Aye, and it only gets worse." Phil pointed further back against the wall where scared females were chained up with various collars.

"What do the different colors mean?" I asked as some of them pulled against their chains while a few just sat back and pleasured themselves.

"You see the ones with black collars? It means they still have some fight in them and want to be free." Phil then pointed to the mares and yaks fucking themselves. "The red-collared ones more or less gave in to their lust and enjoy being slaves."

"That's extremely fucked up!" Venom screamed in my head. "We should eat everyone's head!"

"We'll eat as many heads as possible," I told him.

"You'll do what?" Phil asked.

"Talking about eating enemy heads. Now, let's do some liberating." I cracked my fingers and neck before heading toward the girls.

“Hold up? Ya actually eat heads?” Phill asked and we both nodded. “That’s sick, man…”

"It's very tasty. Almost like chocolate pudding, but very chewy." I went over to the first female yak with a black collar on and ripped her chain and collar off. "Look for cover or kill some fuckers with us, I don't care." I then went over to a red-collar yak and as soon as I got close, she went right for my pants. "Whoa, hey! No!" I slapped her hands away before ripping off her collar. "No Nookie for you!"

“But Yak can please master~,” the yak woman cooed. “Yak only good for breeding after all~.”

“See what I mean?” Phill said with a frown. “And don’t get me started on the poor lasses who wear purple collars.”

"What, are they fucked to the point they're crazy?" When I got no response, my heart sank. "Oh shit, that's exactly what it is, isn't it?"

“It’s as grim as you think, mate,” Phill said, making a nerve in my patience snap.

"Makes me want to burn them alive in a mass grave and watch them beat and crawl their way to the surface, only for me to bash their heads in with a nine iron." I shook my head a bit to cool down before going back to free the girls. "Sorry, I had to deal with this kind of crap before."

"This shite is happening in your world as well?" Phil asked me.

"Almost, but I stomped them into the ground before the first battle even began. It was amazing," I boasted before heading to the last Yak, a young yak with her hair done up in hoops. "Don't worry. We're here to save you."

The yak girl backed away for fear of her life.

“Poor lass…” Phill said. “It be like this everywhere in this world.”

I understood and backed away from the young woman. I saw a blanket nearby and offered it to her. "I'm not the enemy. But I am here to save you from them."

“Yak…hate…males…” the young girl said with fear and anger in her voice. “Males…kill…p-prince.”

"I can understand your hatred. But maybe, for the time being, don't hate the winged monkeys?" I tried joking with her to lighten the mood.

“Allow me, mate,” Phill said and stepped in front of me. I watched him unfurl his wings which made the girl stare at him.

“You…Angel Saint?” The girl spoke. “You are Angel Saint?”

“That I am, love,” Phill spoke softly.

“If you hear, where is Hand?” The girl asked.

“He’s off saving more of Yakyakistan. This bloke here is with me. You can trust him as you can me,” Phill reassured.

"Joe. And I just wanna say, that we're not like-"

Woof!

"Wait! Is that?"

Woof! Woof!

"Hercules!" I ran over to the sound of my doggy and saw him in a small cage. "Herc! I found you!" I opened the cage and Herc immediately jumped up and licked my face. "Hey! I missed you too, buddy!"

"This is your pup!?" Phil asked after seeing Herc. "He's massive!"

"That's right, he's Equestria's biggest lap dog." I then started petting Herc. "Isn't that right? Who's a cuddle machine? Who hops up on the bed and wants snuggles!?" As I kept reuniting with my pal, the young Yak girl came over with a softer expression.

"Y... Yona, like dogs." As soon as she said that, Herc went over and rubbed his big ol' head against her, making her laugh a bit. "Yona like Hercules."

"And Hercules likes you too." Yona gave me a soft smile before we all got off the floor. "We're gonna get you out of here."

“I don’t think so.”

“FUCKN’ HELL! GET DOWN!” Phill screamed and grabbed Yona and Herc.

Suddenly, I barely had enough time to duck out of the way when my senses screamed at me to dodge. A massive slash cut through the air and almost lopped everyone’s heads off. I somersaulted out of the way and turned around to see a caribou walking towards us wearing an open jacket and black trousers. I noticed his forearms were morphed like large blades, and his fingers as well.

“You two are the ones who destroyed our factory and freed our slaves?” The caribou asked as he opened and closed his bladed hand, which sounded like metal rubbing against each other.

"Damn straight I did. And guess what, I'd do it all over again." I unfurled my shield, unsheathed my ax, and fully wolfed out. "Come and get some, Scissorhands!"

When I charged him, the caribou morphed both his arms into complete blades before they clashed with my shield.

“May I have the name of the mongrel who attacked our factory?” The caribou asked as he pushed forward.

"You first, Dicknose," I barked before pushing him into a furnace.

Surprisingly, the caribou withstood the heat and managed to push me back.

“The name’s Striga,” the caribou said. “And you are minced meat! SPAR CLAW!”

Suddenly, Striga turned the undersides of his fingers into blades before slashing at me. I barely had time to deflect it as he swung his fingers with enough force that he split the objects behind me. I winced as my shoulders, hips, and legs were cut deeply as he swung his leg up and kicked my jaw.

The cuts quickly healed as my fury rose. "Well then, allow me to introduce myself. I am ripper." I booted him back into the furnace. "Terror!" I pinned him with my shield. "Slasher!" I punched him straight in the face. "Gauger!" I pressed the blade of my ax against his throat as the ice started to form. "I am the teeth in the darkness, the talons in the night! Mine is strength, and lust, and power!" I then had Venom cover us. "WE ARE VENOM!!!"

Striga grit his teeth and morphed his legs into blades before swinging them. The blades hit my body with enough force to knock me back and against the other side of the wall. I snarled at him as he stood back up but his legs were shaking.

“Argh! My legs are vibrating like crazy!” Striga said. “What is your body made of?!”

"Pure power and divinity! Now get over here, we still have an ass-kicking to give you!" With that, we charged forward with Phil coming up on our left.

“Grrr! SPIRAL HOLLOW!” Striga yelled.

Striga created circular blades along his forearms before making them spin, turning his forearms into mini-tiller blades. Due to the way the blades spun around his arms, his arms resembled drills used by excavators. Striga jumped over me before I could literally take a bite out of him and went for Phill. Phill drew his sword and clashed with Striga as his blades sounded like a buzzsaw tearing through his sword.

Getting tired of this shit, I brought out my Glock and shot the back of Striga's knee. To my surprise, it punched through. Thank the all-father for high-caliber bullets.

“AGH!” Striga yelled in agony, giving Phill the upper hand.

“TAKE THIS, SLAVE OF THE DEVIL!” Phill screamed and pointed his finger at his chest. “HOLY JUDGMENT!”

A beam of light shot out from his fingers and pierced Striga’s chest. Striga coughed a mouthful of blood before falling to his knees.

"Let's finish this!" We grabbed our sword from our bag and let the blue flames engulf it. We then charged forward and sliced Striga's head clean off. Venom retreated back as the body slumped to the ground. "Descend in pain, demon."

"Impressive. It usually takes a while to deal with these Shites," Phil nodded my way. Just then, a strange-looking fruit appeared on Striga's body. "The Blade-Blade fruit."

"Is that what it's called? Kinda dumb, but whatever." I grabbed the fruit and popped it in my gullet.

"Nooo!" Phill screamed just as I swallowed. "Do ya realize what you've done!?"

"Yeah. I ate a fruit that tasted like moldy gym socks." Suddenly, I felt a pain in my stomach and it started rising up my throat. "Although, I think I might need to find a trash bin." I ran toward the nearest window and let out a horrible wrenching noise that was soon followed by hundreds of sharp knives. "Damn. Feels like my Freshman year in college."

Phill facepalmed. “Ya just cursed yourself…”

“Come again?” I asked.

“You joehst coehrsed yooehr very sooehl, you ‘alfwit! Now you’re eternally booehnd fahr de inferno itself! Naht ahnly dat, boeht you can no lahnger swem in de sea!” Phill screamed in my face with a heavy accent.

"You sure? Cause the fruit's right over there." I pointed outside and the fruit I ate was sitting in the snow amongst several knives.

Phil looked stunned before he grabbed my arms and looked them up and down. "I don't fuckin' believe it." He then looks me in the eye. "You're clean."

"I wouldn't say clean. I'm sweaty and covered in blood."

“How?! I saw you ate a damn Devil Fruit!” Phill asked.

I shrugged like it was nothing. "Healing factor, Venom, Odin's blood running through my veins, take your pick. Can't swim anymore? What kind of BS is that?" I asked before going over to Yona, who was hiding during the battle. "Yona alright?"

Yona could only nod as I watched Phill pick up the fruit and tuck it into his coat.

“Bloody hell, what a wild ride,” Phill said. “That’s another blow to Sloth’s control around here, that’s for sure.”

"Glad I could help." Herc came over and started licking mine and Yona's faces. "So what now?"

“Now I gotta go tell me mate I’m all done here,” Phill said and reached out his hand. “Gotta thank ya a ton, mate. Ya saved me a lot of time with this. I know Lock would approve as well.” Must be the name of his friend.

I clasped his hand and gave it a firm shake. "Maybe I oughta tell him my-" I was cut off after my phone started ringing. "One sec." I got it out and saw that it was Luna calling. "Hey, babe, what's up?"

"Honey, you need to come home right away. Scootaloo and the other Crusaders just got their Cutie Marks!"

"They did!? Holy shit! I'll be right there!" I hung up before whistling Herc over. "Phil, I gotta go. My daughter just earned her Cutie Mark!"

“Hey! Good on you!” Phill said with a smile. “Go on home then. I’ll take care of things from here.”

"Awesome, great meeting with you, Phil. Yona, you're in good hands."

"Yona thank Joe." She then pecked me on the cheek before turning with a blush.

I chuckled at the gesture before grabbing my key. "Catch you on the flip side."

I opened a portal and gave the two a two-fingered salute. Just as stepped through the portal, I caught sight of a dreamy smile plastered across Yona’s face.

The portal closed before I could ponder any further on the look she gave me, and I was tackled to the ground by my very excited daughter.

"Dad! Dad! We finally got our Cutie Marks!" Scoots cheered as Bloom and Sweetie joined in on the hug.

"I heard. I'm so proud of you." I hugged them tight. "I know how much you all waited for this day."

"And you'll never guess who helped us get them," Bloom added before pointing behind her.

I looked behind her and saw Diamond Tiara with a nervous smile. "Diamond? Really? Wow, I can't wait to hear the full story on that." I gave Diamond a thumbs-up before getting up. "Thanks for helping them, Diamond."

"You're welcome, but the truth is, they helped me too," Diamond confessed before the Crusaders brought her into a hug.

Ruff! Herc started bounding around us and licked all our faces. It was truly a happy day.

Author's Note

Okay, that took forever. Shout out to my friend and fellow League member, WurkyWilk358 0w0, for lending me both help and the Angel's Saint to kick some ass.

Initially, I wanted to do something with the Crusaders earning their marks, but the coin decided for me. Anyway, here's how the other idea would have gone down.

And one for fun.

God, I love this song.