Version: 1

Anon's dreams were a realm of happy fantasies where he could be free of all the world's mundane horrors and frustrations. Which of course meant they had to be interrupted by something dumb and unfair. Like an itchy nose.

The man was stirred awake and immediately began rubbing the discomfort from his favorite facial protrusion. However, a moment into the process he heard a faint giggle and felt a strange pressure on his chest. Slowly moving his hand aside so he could look down at himself, Anon trembled at the possible nightmare he might find.

And just as he suspected, it was terrible.

Pinkie Pie was sitting on his chest. All three inches of her. The little pony was smiling and rocking her head back and forth with barely contained excitement. Ready to talk his ear off and pester him with her overly high-pitched voice.

Anon groaned in agony as the avatar of sugar began babbling away, hugging him, and otherwise gushing about made up concepts like friendship and happiness. It was the ultimate form of torture. There was little he could do but try and bury his head in the pillow and ignore her. Then she began bouncing on him, making him grunt with pain as her tiny hooves repeatedly drove the breath from his lungs.

With a growl, the man sat up. The only way to escape her was to start his day. Though he did get a small amount of pleasure from watching her tumble down to the end of the bed. Anon then tossed his sheets aside and moved towards the window. It was only then that he realized the sun hadn't risen yet. It was still night time.

Alarm bells started going off in Anon's head. He knew Pinkie was an early riser, but even she didn't get up before the sun. She was one of those crazy ponies who worshiped that giant ball of fire and its avatar.

The man glanced back at the little creature currently seated on his bed, eagerly staring back at him. For a moment neither of them moved. Then she licked her lips. He blinked.

"Oh yeah, I forgot it was that time of year!" Anon laughed to himself.

The human stumbled to the closet and began rummaging around for a particular piece of equipment. Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie kept trying to ask him what he was doing. That or inviting him to play. He wasn't really paying attention to her at the moment.

"Aha!" he cheered as he held up a metal box.

"What's that?" the pink mare asked with a tilt of her head.

"This?" Anon grinned. "It's a mystical object that brings happiness to everyone who touches it."

The man moved to the window where he setup the machine and plugged it in. Instantly a series of glass tubes on one side of the box began to glow in the most tantalizing way. Pinkie's eyes widened and her mouth hung open. She began to drool as though she'd fallen into a trance.

"Bingo," Anon congratulated himself. "Any second now..."

A pair of wings slowly emerged from the earth pony's back before she zipped towards the light and tried to touch it.

ZAP!!

A moment later the former pink mare had turned black as her disguise was stripped away and a little changeling appeared. Though now it was a little fried changeling. The pest proceeded to lay motionless in-front of the bug-zapper, having been dealt a hefty shock after foolishly touching the deadly trap.

Anon nodded to himself, confident that this device would deal with the rest of the bugs should they try sucking his love.

"Darn changelings, even worse than the mosquitoes back home. At least you're easier to deal with than the real Pinkie Pie."

Author's Note

Inspired by one of those joke images of Chrysalis being hypnotized by a bug-zapper. Also tried playing with the "miserable jerk Anon" trope. Not sure I like it, but whatever. It worked for an Anon cruel enough to use such a device on sentient creatures.