Pain. Darkness. Agony. Cold. Wet.

I can't breathe.

I try to open my eyes but there is something wrong with them. The frigid moisture is all around me, and everything hurts.

I can't breathe.

I try to scream, but the pain fills my mouth and chokes me further.

I can't...

"Doctor? Doctor! She's awake!"

I can breathe. It is still dark, but I can breathe.

"Sweetie, are you okay? Can you hear me?" The voice sounds like an elderly mare.

I groan, then wince. My voicebox hurt immensely, and a faint taste of salt lingers at the back of my throat.

Another voice speaks. "Are you okay, Miss? How do you feel?" Younger. Male.

"Water..." I manage to sputter.

I hear one of them trot away and return just as quickly. I reach out a hoof and take the glass from them.

"How did you...?" The male voice says with a tone of disbelief.

I pay him no mind as I quickly gulp down the water. It sears my throat, but I drink all of it.

"How are you feeling?" the male says once again.

I breathe deeply. The pain isn't as severe. Still there, but I can speak. "I'm... not sure." I reach a hoof up to rub my head, only to discover a cloth wrapped around my forehead. I feel it covering my eyes as well. I try to remove it, but they stop me.

"Oh, we don't want to do that just yet, sweetie..." the old mare says as she gently guided my hoof away from the blindfold. Her voice reminds me of my grandmother.

My grandmother...

I try to rise from the bed, but it feels like all of my limbs are asleep. The old mare gently restrains me again. I sigh. "My family. I need to see them."

"Of course," the male says. He seems to be holding a pen and a clipboard. "Can you tell us your name so we can help you find them?"

"Yeah. My name is..." I stop.

My name...

What is it?

"Could you tell us your name, sweetie?" the old mare says.

My breathing quickens. I try to picture my family, but they look fuzzy. My home is as well. I try to recall something, anything.

One image rises to the forefront of my thoughts, clearer than all of the rest. A zebra. Female. There's something about her that sends shivers down my spine. She's holding something sharp. Her eyes are a dull red, and her stripes are...

"Purple?"

"Your name is Purple?" the stallion says with a stifled chuckle.

I shake my head. "No. it's just..." My voice trails off as I desperately try to recall my name. It feels like I'm looking at myself through a blurred mirror. "...I can't remember."

Both of them exchange a worried look at each other. Wait, how do I know that?

The old mare speaks with a tender voice. "Sweetie... do you know where you live?"

A scene of flaming debris flashes through my mind. Burning buildings. Mortar strikes rain from the sky as I take cover in a house with three ponies. No, wait, they're zebras. Two big, one small. We hug each other tightly. They aren't my family, but I fear for them all the same.

My breathing gets ragged.

The stallion asks a more specific question. "Do you know what the name of your hometown is?"

The small zebra tells me he's scared. I tell him that it's okay to be scared. Being scared allows you to be brave. One of the older zebras smiles at me. It's filled with worry, but I can tell she appreciates me. I hear some yelling in the distance. An evacuation order. Suddenly, the ceiling explodes. Wood splinters fly everywhere. I try to shield us with my wings, as foolish as that is, but thankfully only a few splinters get into my feathers. I feel a few cuts along the base of my wings.

I shiver as the old mare holds my hoof. "...I d-don't know."

The stallion sighs. I try to stretch my wings, but something feels off. I have something wrapped around my wings. A bandage?

After a moment, the stallion seems to set down his clipboard. "Well Miss, I suppose we should inform you of where you are, then. You are in the Sunnyside Intensive Care Center in Baltimare. My name is Squeaky Clean, and I'm the doctor who has been treating you while you were asleep."

Asleep? I feel a pit of dread in my stomach. The old mare senses my anxiety and attempts to comfort me. "H-How long?" I dare to ask.

The stallion seems to have an apprehensive expression. But I can't see him...? "Perhaps it would be best if we waited to answer that question. Are you hungry? We have yogurt or fruit if you would like some."

As if on cue, my stomach growls. I try to calm myself, but my voice still shakes. "Y-Yes."

The old mare releases my hoof. "I'll be right back, sweetie."

She leaves me alone with the doctor. It sounds like he's writing something down, but soon he starts to ask me more questions. "What is the last thing you remember?"

A scene fills my mind. The zebra with purple stripes. We are arguing. I don't know what we're arguing about, but I'm upset with her. She screams. Then there is nothing. Just thinking about it causes me to shake. Did something bad happen? "I was with a zebra. We were... fighting?"

"Ah, a zebra." He says as if that explains everything. "Do you know what happened to you?"

I try to recall the scene again, but every time she screams, there is a void after that. "No."

I hear the old mare return. "Here is some strawberry yogurt, sweetie. Would you like me to help you eat it?"

My hooves feel more familiar now. "I can do it," I say. She places a small bowl of yogurt and a spoon on a tray and guides my hooves to them. They're still trembling, but I can use them. I taste the yogurt. It's delicious, but it makes my stomach queasy at the same time. I decide to eat it later.

The doctor speaks again. "We need to gather some papers, then we'll be back to talk some more. Will you be all right while we're gone?"

"Yes." I say as I procrastinate eating more yogurt. I don't want them to leave, but... I need to know.

Their hoofsteps become quieter as I hear a door close. I wait for a few minutes, then reach a hoof up to my blindfold. My breathing quickens again. I need to see what I look like.

Just as I start loosening the blindfold, I realize something: There's something else covering my eyes. I set the blindfold down and gently feel around them. There are two pads gently secured to my upper face, both seem to obstruct my eyes. My heartbeat quickens. I delicately try to pry one off, and-

The door opens again, startling me. I hear a gasp. It's the doctor. "Miss, please don't touch that."

I stop fiddling with the pads. "Are my eyes hurt?" I gulp.

He sighs again. I hear the shuffling of some papers. He is quiet for a moment. "You were on the brink of death when you were brought into my care. You were hypothermic and had lost a lot of blood due to multiple major wounds. Additionally, you had such severe infections that we had to fly in Mage Meadowbrook herself to heal you. Even then, there was only so much she could do."

The pit in my stomach grows larger. "Can... can I see?"

Silence again. "You... won't be able to. Your eyes were gouged out." He pauses. "I'm sorry. There was nothing we could do."

It's dark.

It's so dark.

I can't see.

The old mare returns. She places her hoof on mine again. "There there, sweetie. You're alive, and that's what's important."

Her words are filled with comfort, but they bring me nothing but despair.

I'm blind.

"There is also the matter of your wing," the doctor continues. I don't know if I can take much more. "The infection where your left wing was severed was so severe that..." There is a ringing in my ears; I can no longer hear him.

My wing was severed.

I lost my wing.

I can't fly.

I try to sob, but there are no tears.

"...though there are prosthetic options available, I'm sorry to say that you will likely never be able to fly again."

I will never see again. I will never fly again.

I'm back in the house in the burning city. The zebras and I huddle together as we hide from the violence outside. I hear explosions close by. Screaming cut short by gunfire. There is banging at the door. One of the older zebras; the father, maybe? He tells us to wait here. The small zebra begs him not to leave. The older one grabs a pistol and leaves our hiding spot for the door. I leave our hiding spot and peek around the corner, too curious for my own good. Before he reaches the door, there is a bang. He is dead before he hits the ground. The door busts open and several robed zebras storm in. They fire additional bullets into his body to make sure he's dead. One of them spots me.

"Sweetie? It'll be okay. We're for you." the old mare gently squeezes my hoof, bringing me back to reality.

"C-Colthage." I choke out. I rub my muzzle as I sniffle, then cough. "I was in Colthage, I think."

I can't see him, but I know that the doctor takes a step back in shock. "I... see..."

There is silence again. The old mare takes her hoof off of mine. She seems hesitant to ask me a question. "Were you... with them? The zebras there?"

Purple. They were all wearing purple. Gas masks too. One of them chases after me. I don't have anywhere to run, so I stop before I reach our hiding spot. I don't want them to find the others. My bravery falters the moment I see the muzzle of a rifle appear. I sob, but I don't look away. The zebra points her gun at me but does not shoot. She asks me how many are left. I say that it's just me. She notices my vision briefly flicker to the closet behind me. She fires her gun repeatedly at the closet. I hear two screams. I turn to see if they're okay, but something tough hits my head.

With that memory at the forefront of my mind, I answer the old mare. "Yes."

The doctor seems to lose his composure, if but for a moment. "Tartarus, did we really save one of them?"

The old mare attempts to calm him. "Doctor Clean, watch yourself. We treat all patients equally here, regardless of their... affiliation."

I don't understand what they're talking about. "One of who?" I say. My throat hurts again.

"The Ascendancy," he says as he grits his teeth. "Are you with the Ascendancy?"

There is a gunshot. I find myself in a large crowd, mostly zebras. I see a few ponies out of maybe two hundred. We're all surrounded by purple-clad zebras with guns. There is a burning pile of griffon and zebra bodies near us. A zebra mare stands atop a pedestal. She is also dressed in purple, but her robes are fancier than the armed guards. She preaches to us. I can't hear her over the murmurs of the crowd around me. A few rowdy zebras are pulled from the crowd and shot. Some of us panic, but their cries are also silenced by gunfire. She continues preaching to us. I hear the words "salvation" and "purity" thrown around. More of us are executed for being disrespectful. By the end of her sermon, roughly half of us are dead. They chain the remainder of us and take us away.

I shake my head to clear that horrible image. "Who is that?" I say.

"Maybe she was imprisoned by them, doctor." says the old mare, "She seems to have lost her memory."

"That's..." he says as the fierceness leaves his voice. He sighs again. "I apologize for my outburst. I've lost too many friends to those fanatics."

"Who is the Ascendancy?" I ask again.

The doctor takes off his glasses. He has glasses? "They are pure unfiltered evil. We thought the changelings were bad, but they were nothing compared to these demons. The Ascendancy is what the Colthaginian Republic used to be years ago until it was taken over by insane equine race purists. They preach about how 'avians' are the root of all evil, and how zebras, ponies, changelings, kirin, and so on are all pieces of some dead god nopony has ever heard of. In the span of about eight years, they somehow managed to annihilate Hippogriffia as well as the entire continent of Griffonia. Most hippogriffs, or seaponies now I suppose, escaped underwater, but as for the griffons... I would be surprised if there were even a million of them left."

My breath is shaky. "That's awful," I say. I cough again.

He continues. "They even went after some pony nations for harboring griffon refugees. Fortunately, Equestria still stands, but many doubt our ability to actually defeat these cultists if they were to launch a full-scale attack on us. It's a mystery as to why they haven't done so yet."

I am back in Colthage. I'm in a laboratory with about thirty other zebras, most of whom are in chains with me. A bald zebra with tinted, round glasses, a gray surgical mask, and a suit is inspecting our group. Unlike every other zebra that has ordered us around, this one isn't wearing all purple. Only a purple tie. He asks us for a volunteer. There is silence, then one of us steps forward. The bald zebra thanks us, then dismisses the rest of us. We are escorted out of the building. There is a scream behind us that increases in intensity until their voice box cracks and shatters.

"Worst of all," the doctor adds on, "they deem any equine who they do not like a 'crypto-avian'. A ridiculous term if you ask me, but they seem to treat 'crypto-avians' worse than actual avians themselves. Unspeakable torture and an agonizing death are all that await those unfortunate enough to be-"

"I think she's heard enough, doctor," the old mare interrupts him, "Why don't we ask her some of those questions we talked about?"

"Right. Thank you, nurse." The doctor puts his glasses back on as he picks up his clipboard again. He examines it, and... How do I know this?! I can't see him!

"You're wearing glasses," I say.

"That's correct. How did you know that?" he says with genuine curiosity.

I don't know how I knew that. "I... heard you put them on." I lie. If I'm going crazy, I don't want them to think that.

I can tell he suspects something. "Right... Well, I have some questions I need to ask you. Some of them we've already covered, but I'll need to ask them again as the procedure demands."

I nod in understanding.

He asks me several questions. Most of them I can't answer. How old am I? Where am I from? Do I have any family? He moves to more specific questions to try and gauge how bad my memory loss is. What was the last major event I recalled? When did the war with the changelings end? Who are the princesses of Equestria?

The doctor finishes writing something. "It seems to me that the last thing you can sort of recall is the Third Colthaginian Civil War. Do you know how long ago that was?" I shake my head. "That was ten years ago."

But it seemed like it was just yesterday... "How long have I been here?" I ask.

His voice is hesitant again. "You've been asleep here for nearly four years. You were brought in by a beach lifeguard who claimed that he saw a seapony drop you off on the shore." He pauses. "You wouldn't happen to know any seaponies or hippogriffs, would you?"

I've been asleep for four years, I thought. I feel like that should bother me more. "I've never met a seapony before," I say. "I think I would remember that..."

"Memory can be a funny thing, Miss. And speaking of memory, if you don't recall your name, what would you like us to call you? Patient #18 isn't exactly a normal name for ponies." He chuckles at the end.

My name...

What is it?

The doctor notices me staring off into space again. "Try to think of a name," he suggests, "Something important to you, something that you've heard many times before."

I see multiple places I don't remember going to. A land of horses, a land of kirin, a desolate desert, a flooded oasis. All those and more, and yet one thing seems to remain constant in all of them. I'm with someone else... a zebra, I think. We're traveling. I hear a word repeated over our travels. One word that fills my mind over and over until...

"Guide," I say with a trembling voice, "I am... I am the Guide."

Author's Note

She's alive.