Warning weapons-grade dad jokes and puns ahead. I’ve done my due diligence.

**Ponyville, Equestria**
**003 Summer CC**
**Pear Butter**

Leaving the Sugarcube Corner, I think I should avoid the market and go around the town centre. Several businesses and the Harmony Shrine -which is also the Town Hall- form a circular area where the market is. There is space there, because there are no houses amidst the area. Homes start outside of that ring and move out towards the farm fields in every direction. The market can get busy, and just about everypony goes there at some point during the day.

The hospital is a little north near the train station. If somepony has to be transported to a different hospital, they thought it best to build the two near each other.

The White Tail Woods is a little past that to the north and west.

“Pear Butter? Is that you?” A mare calls to me from her garden.

I return the greeting, “Howdy, Tealove. It’s me alright.”

She asks, “Are you back for good?”

“Sure am.”

“That's good,” she says. “Drop by for some tea sometime. Would you?”

“Ah’ll do that,” I say as I continue towards the hospital.

Farms are sprawled out all around the town. The Apples were the first to settle, but my family always say that’s because the Apples were in the front of the line the day everypony arrived. Pears, Carrots, Berries, Riches, and a few others were amongst that first group. Other farming families have come and gone in that time.

There are also a number of pegasus families who usually come because of the weather and postal positions. On occasion, unicorn ponies will move to town, too.

I’m sure daddy will get me caught up on any new arrivals or departures.

Saddle Lake is to the east just north of the Apple farm. Summer would be a good time to teach Silly to swim. I remember watching Bright Mac learn; that still brings a smile to my face every time.

As the Little Pony River leaves town by my family’s farm to the south and east, the weather team had a reservoir built. That’s not a good place to learn to swim. The weather ponies can get fussy about ‘contaminating’ water for weather; but if you think about it, the water from ponies swimming just upstream in Saddle Lake flows right down into the Reservoir.

I suppose that type of thinking is why nature-ponies don’t make good weather ponies.

A young weathermare slowly flies by, “Pear Butter?” She blinks at me.

“Howdy, Sunshine. How’s the job treatin’ y’u?” I ask.

“Not bad,” she answers. “When did you get back? Are you back for good?”

I reply, “A lot of ponies have been asking that, but, yes, Ah’m back fer good. Ah got in ‘bout an hour ago.”

She nods, “You seen your sire yet?”

I shake my head, “Not yet. Ah’m runnin’ some errands first.”

Sunshine Raindrops has an odd look on her face like she wants to say something but won’t, “Oh, okay. But you’re going to. Right?”

I raise an eyebrow, “Course Ah am. Why wouldn't Ah see'im? Should be there ‘round dinner. Any particular reason ye’re askin’?” I suppose it's possible she caught his eye. She's young and in pretty good shape...

She starts looking a little nervous or ashamed, “Well, I’m not the type of mare to be ‘talking out of school.’ You know? But it’s really good that you’re back. When you have some weather requests for your orchard, just submit them. Sooner the better. Right?”

I nod, “Ah will. Thank y’u,” and she continues on to with her weathermare duties with a wave, but that was an odd thing to say. Every farmpony knows about that. Has daddy not been keeping up with that? The weatherponies won’t deliver rain to your fields or water silos if you don’t file the requests

Passing a few more houses and the hospital comes into view. A section near one side of it is cleared and marked off. It looks like they’re getting ready to expand the facilities by a large margin.

Inside, the waiting room is actually quite full –really full. Like, I wouldn’t ever expect my small town to have so many sick ponies.

I sign in at the desk and then find a seat next to some old magazines and a newspaper. The news was printed recently, so I take a look at it. There are several pages to this issue; that’s a lot more than a standard issue.

The front page talks about a pink filly in Canterlot and an incident with a rogue confectionary.

There is an opinion piece about something called, “TARREP’MH-MA,” (Trial Attempt to Revitalize Rural Equine Populations with Mandatory Herd Minimums Act) by the same pony who wrote the article about the pink filly in Canterlot, Hot Press. Who does the Princess have naming these things? TARREP’MH-MA does not roll of the tongue. Hot Press responds to some concerns about sharing stallions with larger herds by advocating love and friendship.

It is encouraging that ponies work together with this struggle to keep our species from population hardships of the past. We look this problem in the eyes and respond with Harmony. She ends the opinion by citing rumors that Misakegan Province could be the first to officially establish a herd minimum to show Canterlot’s dedication to solve the issue by ‘leading the charge.’

… Misakegan? Ponyville is in Misakegan Province.

I should try harder to control myself around Bright Mac long enough to have some discussions with him about these things. Relationships aren't just about bucking, after all. There's romancing, laughing, crying, loving, and helping each other.

We also need to talk about taking care of Silly together before our marriage, and what our farms will do after that.

Ugh, I know neither of us look forward to our parents during that discussion. And then there is the official proposal. That’ll be soon, though. I just need to get Silly settled in.

It should be easier to talk now that we’re back. So far, it hasn’t been easy to talk. I went into some kind of out-of-season estrus, and that is understandable -about the lack of talking. This won’t be my first foal; so, I know what it’s like, and it definitely feels like Bright made that happen again. But it also still feels like I’m still in heat, although, to a slightly lesser degree now than when we left Baltimare. I don’t know what to make of that.

Back to my distraction: there’s an article about the history museum in Manehattan which will begin coordinating with several others for a grand exhibit a few years from now; apparently, it will take a long time to establish transportation and such for artifacts. I wonder if Silly will like things like museums. Pegasi don't gravitate towards those types of things as much as unicorns.

The price of apples has gone up slightly. Most fruit prices are based off the price of stone fruits like apples and pears. Supply must be a little shorter than expected for this time of year, but that is rather standard for the beginning of Summer. Trees start running their saps in Spring and get their pollination done at that time. The earliest stone fruits don’t ripen until after the first weeks in Summer, and the majority won’t start hitting the market until 20-50 days into the season.

It's good to have plenty of trees that produce at different times in the year and stagger harvest throughout. That way nopony is overwhelmed by the whole orchard needing harvest at one time. Daddy and I started planting more of the tree breeds that ripen earlier in the Summer a few years back to try and capture the early Summer price spike. They should be mature enough this or next year to start producing a little. Maybe two years from now, they’ll really start to pay off.

Oh! There is also something about Baltimare: a noticeable increase in criminal… party, and… libid-!? Libidinous behaviours in various parts of the city.

Sweet Celestia, I got Silly out of there just in time. That is no place for a street foal.

I think I’m done reading the paper now.

A doctor walks into the waiting room looking rather impatient and followed by a nurse. He has a white lab coat, stethoscope, and nametag. His mane is coat is tan with hints of brown which is most pronounced around his muzzle, and his mane is very curly.

I’ve never advocated a makeover before, and I don’t want to be that mare; but both of these medical ponies need some advice on appearance.

I don’t recognize him, but his nametag says ‘Horse.’ Greymare Horse was a nice enough colt back in school, and I know he was studying to be a doctor. But this pony doesn’t look anything like the Horse I knew.

I don’t recognize the nurse either. She has a light pink coat but also have a very curly mane. It feels odd that there are ponies in town who I don’t know.

The nurse says to the doctor in front of everypony, “Doctor, I hope you’re not going to try my patience today.”

“‘Try my patients?’” He asks. “This isn’t a courthouse, nurse.”

She holds out her clipboard. He takes it and looks at it. Then, he walks up to one of the ponies in the waiting room with the nurse trailing close behind.

He asks, “What’s wrong with you?”

The pony, looks like one of the Berries -uh- Cherry Gold, “Mm! Mm!” She answers without opening her mouth at all.

The doctor raises his eyebrow and leans his head and ear over to his nurse. He shrugs and says, “Can’t say.”

She looks at the doctor, “‘Cant’s say?’ Well, can’t you take a guess?”

He says, “We have patients not guests.”

The nurse takes a calming breath in and out before replying, “I’m not losing anymore patience, doctor.”

He declares, “That’ll be hard with the outbreak of ‘courthouses’ going around.”

She points at Cherry Gold, “What about an educated guess?”

He shakes his head, “Nurse, we accept all kinds of guests here; it doesn’t matter how much schooling she’s received.”

Another pony, Dinner Belle, one of Cookie Crumbles’ mothers, is in the waiting room and asks the doctor, “Doctor, can I have some assistance, please?”

He looks at her and says, “This is my nurse, Din. Get your own assistants.” He walks over to a pony next to Dinner, her sister, Shells, and says, “Okay, miss. Don’t panic. The doctor is ‘in.’”

What is happening right now with this hospital?

Shells looks around a moment before answering, “I- I wasn’t going to panic. Why would you ask that? Should I panic? What’s going on here?”

That’s what I want to know.

The nurse asks the doctor, “Doctor, what’s the meaning of this?”

He answers, “Well, nurse, that depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is… and the meaning of ‘this’… and the meaning of ‘meaning,’ and ‘of,’ and~ ‘what-’”

Some of the Carrots are here, too. Carrot Sticks says, “Tell me, doctor, will I ever fly?”

Without even looking at her, he replies, “I’ll do my best.”

Sticks exclaims, “That’s amazing! Most nature-ponies like me never get the opportunity to fly.”

At that the doctor does turn to Carrot Sticks and says, “Your eyesight is another story altogether.”

Really? A Carrot with poor eyesight? What is going on with this doctor?

He holds up his hoof for Sticks and asks, “How many hooves am I holding up?”

She answers, “One.”

The doctor looks over to his nurse, and she nods.

He seems genuinely surprised, “Really?” He looks at his hoof for a moment and moves it around like he’s seeing it for the first time but trying to make it look as though he’s conducting some tests on himself. “Huh,” he concludes.

Another mare in the waiting room, Crisp Cucumber, holds up a piece of paper, “Doctor, what does my chart say?”

He turns to her and asks, “The chart? It’s just a piece of paper. It doesn’t say anything… wait.” He holds his hoof up to his muzzle for a moment and then leans over to his nurse and loudly whispers, “Paper doesn’t talk. Right?”

The nurse nods, “That is correct, doctor. Paper does not talk.”

He nods with a satisfied smile and walks over to me with a questioning expression.

I lean my head over to him and both he and the nurse lean closer to me as I quietly whisper to him, “Doctor, Ah think Ah’m pregnant.”

His posture straightens up, “What?” He quickly takes the clipboard from his nurse and looks at it. “I thought you were ‘Pear Butter.’”

It feels like everypony turns to look at me with smiles and curiosity. Most wave and say, ‘Hi,’ ‘It’s good to see you again,’ or ‘Welcome back.’

I say louder, “Ah am Pear Butter,” as I wave and give short, ‘Hello’s, to the ponies nearby.

The doctor yells, “Clock it!” And then asks, “Nurse?”

His nurse has a stopwatch in her hoof, and clicks the button on the top of it, “Fastest cure since Ponyville General started keeping records, doctor.”

What.

He pumps his hoof in the air victoriously as another nurse pony comes into the waiting room area to put a picture of this doctor pony on the wall where it says, ‘Employee of the Month.’

“Wait a minute,” the doctor takes a moment to think, “which one of you can’t talk, again?”

Cherry Gold pipes up, “Mm!”

The nurse asks, “Doctor, is this patient stabilized?”

He replies, “I think the stables are out back, nurse.”

One of the Rich mares, Shady, walks into the waiting room from one of the hospital’s interior doors. She’s an administrator pony. I think she is also a solicitor or advisor for the hospital’s legal department. She stands near the doctor patiently waiting for a turn probably to talk with him.

But the doctor does not seem to notice. He looks to the next pony, his nurse’s clipboard, and back a few times. “Hello, sir,” he says.

“I’m a mare,” the young pegasus answers. Her features are not masculine at all.

He doesn’t reply to that, “Windy, I have some bad news about your,” he points to her wing, “flappy thing.”

She looks at his pointing hoof and follows it back to her wing, “My wing?”

He nods, “Yes, we will have to amputate.”

“Amputate,” she squawks, “you’re going to cut it off!?”

“What?” The doctor asks, “Is that what ‘amputate’ means?” He takes a notecard from one of his lab coat pockets and studies it for a moment. “What I meant is that you should rest and drink plenty of fluids.”

Windy exhales heavily.

The nurse says to the doctor, “I think the word you were looking for was, ‘hydrate,’ not, ‘amputate.’”

He waves it off with his hoof, “That won’t come back to bite us; I have a good feeling about that.”

Shady Rich, the hospital’s lawyer, faints.

The nurse tells the doctor, “Be careful with those cutting remarks, doctor.”

And~ that is all I can take. I get up and walk over to the reception desk and ask the nurse there, “Hello, Nurse Big Heart. Where can Ah get a pregnancy test?”

She blinks at me then smiles, “Pear Butter, it’s good to see you,” she points to the door nearby labeled ‘Obstetrics and Gynecology,’ “Right through there.”

“Thank you,” I say; but before I go, I have to ask, “Nurse Heart, what is going on with that doctor?” And I point to the doctor and nurse still talking to ponies in the waiting room.

Big Heart answers, “Oh, that’s not a doctor. That’s a clown.”

I look at him again. It is only now that I notice he has extremely large, red, and squeaky horseshoes; his curly mane is rainbow-colored, but his tail does not match; the dark brown around his muzzle is complimented by white lipstick and a big, round, red nose. The nurse is similar.

Were they wearing that the whole time? How did I miss that?

As I’m looking at him, he takes out a very long train -several wings long- of multicolored hoof-kerchiefs all tied together out from his mouth. With the last one, he dabs his forehead to rousing applause.

“Oh…” I say, “Right.

Nurse Big Heart says, “Well, technically he is a doctor. He’s just not on the clock right now. I think you’d know him though the makeup might be throwing you off. That’s Doctor Horse. He finished medical school last year.” I just look at her, and she adds, “‘Laughter is the best medicine.’ You know?”

“And the ponies in the waiting room?” I ask.

She waves it off with a hoof, “He started these shows last Autumn and does another about every thirty or sixty days or so. Ponies came for the entertainment.” She points towards a flier on the wall:

Doctor Horse, M.D. and Nurse Pony, R.N.

Ponyville General Presents:

Dr. Oodle Kaboodle and Nurse Jokey MacJokerton

Guest starring Shady Rich as: Nervous Lawyerpants

Heart smirks, “Last time they had a bit with a hoof puppet wizard named Hoof Polish the Bearded. It was hilarious,” she giggles, “a hoof puppet shaped like a hoof with googly eyes and a beard. Who knew a hoof could have such insights?”

I nod and thank her before I enter the door to the Ob/Gyn. I guess I just showed up on the right day?

A pony on the other side, Nurse Start Heart, “Pear! It’s so good to see you back, dear. Please tell me you’re back for good,” and has me put my name down on a piece of paper.

As I do that, I tell her, “Yes, Ah’m back,” and then she happily shows me to an examination room.

The exam room is standard. There is a little sink with a small mirror, a combination table and chair with a thin sheet of cloth on it, a storage area for more sheets and other equipment, and a hamper for the used table sheets.

It is not long before the doctor walks in followed by a nurse. They tap their hooves on some cleaning crystals near the door which cast some fancy spell to scrub their hooves of various things. Medical ponies like clean hooves, but farm ponies know that there is a difference between clean dirt and dirty dirt.

It’s Doctor Horse and Nurse Pony still dressed as their clown characters. Even their horseshoes are squeaking as they enter. “Good afternoon,” he says, “I’m Doctor Horse.”

“And I’m Nurse Pony,” she adds.

“And we’ll be-” he stops when he sees me and blinks a few times. “Oh. Pear?”

“Howdy, Grey,” I reply.

The nurse looks at him with a raised eyebrow. He coughs into his hoof and mumbles something about his full name being ‘Greymare.’

No colt wants to grow up with ‘mare’ in his name; just like no filly wants ‘stallion’ or ‘colt’ in her name.

“A- anyway,” he says, “I think I should apologize. I didn’t realize you were being serious out there,” and he points out the door to reference his comedy routine.

“Yer clowns,” I say.

He lowers his head and paws at the ground with his hoof, “I said I’m sorry.”

I sake my head, “No. Ah mean: yer clowns.”

The nurse responds, “I can assure you, Miss Pear, we are professionals.”

I point at the little mirror above the sink, “No. Look.”

They both look and jump slightly from the sight. “Oh, ha!” He chuckles, “So we are.” Their makeup and wigs are still on.

Both Doctor Horse and Nurse Pony go over to a clothes hook and set their rainbow wigs on them. She goes over to the sink to begin washing her face.

He comes over to me. “So,” he starts, “I remember you left for some classes of some kind, but it is good to see you back.”

I don’t know if I should tell him this, “Doc,” I point to my muzzle, “nose.”

He blinks. “That’s right! That is your nose. Did you study medicine while you were away?”

“Doc,” I reach out and remove his round with a squeak, red clown nose and hold it out in front of the both of us. “Nose.”

“Huh,” he says as he regards the prop, “Doctor ‘Nose.’ I’m going to have to use that for the next show.” I hoof him his nose, and he places it in his white lab coat pocket with a squeak.

Without turning around, he holds his hoof off to the side where the nurse places a clipboard in his waiting hoof. Staring at the paper on the clipboard, he asks, “So? Pregnancy test?” I nod. “And are you bagged up right now?” I nod again. “This isn’t your first foal?”

I shake my head, “No, this will be mah second.” That is technically true, but I promised myself, Mac, and Apple Butter that I would be more honest; and, by Celestia, I will. “Ah lost mah first. Stillborn. End of Winter.”

His ears droop, and he says, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

The nurse comes over and gives me a comforting hug and nuzzle. I thank her, then she opens the exam room door to fetch a small, wheeled cart with some equipment on it and begins to set things up.

The doctor thinks out lout, “Forgive me, but your supply should have dried up by now.”

“Ah was employed by one of Milky Whey’s local delivery services out in Baltimare fer a little while,” I explain, “then Ah adopted a foal. He’s still nursin’.”

“He?” Nurse Pony asks. “You have a colt?”

He continues to look at the paper on the clipboard, “Hm~”

“What?” I ask.

He answers, “I… don’t know how to say this.”

With perplexity, I inquire, “What? What is it, Doctor?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, “the nurse’s hoofwriting is atrocious.” A crumpled up ball of cloth bounces off his head from the nurse’s direction. “We’ll need to update your chart and schedule an initial appointment for the little fellow.”

I agree, “Ah’ll bring ‘im ‘round.”

“Well, Pear,” Doctor Horse begins to explain the pregnancy test, “We’ll take a sample of your blood from your foreleg. This device here,” he points to something on the cart by the nurse, “is a Rapid Response Reader. Your blood is drawn into a syringe which is placed in the center of the Reader. The device is enchanted to search for specific markers in the blood of a mare, and those crystals will light up if a certain threshold is met. Do you have any questions so far?”

I shake my head, “No, sir,” and the nurse begins to carefully draw my blood.

He waves his hoof, “Psh! ‘Sir.’ You and I went to school together, Pear. You don’t need to be calling me, ‘sir.’”

I state, “Ye’re still a doctor. Ain’t ya?”

“Well, yes,” he says, “But I’m docter not a docsir.” I roll my eyes, but he goes back to the medical subjects, “About when was conception?”

Nure Pony finishes the draw and brings the syringe to the device.

I answer, “Uh~ the, um, past few days? Less than a week… Either in Baltimare or on the way here.” All this talk about making foals is making me want to go find my stallion. Calm down, Pear; you’ll find him later tonight. Just breathe it out.

He questions, “And you think it took already? We are several weeks past the normal season...”

I say, “Ah’m pretty sure,” and the device’s lights begin to illuminate.

“Oh my,” he blinks while looking at the Reader. “It usually takes more than two weeks for enough progesterone and estrone to get that to light up.” He looks back to me with a smile, “Your stallion really got one in there good. Congratulations!”

Nurse Pony adds with smile, “I’m really happy for you, Pear,” and she starts to fill out some paperwork.

I can feel my face get warm, “Thank you.”

Doctor Horse continues with some medical information, “Normally, we would wait 100 days to test stability and the foal’s sex closer to 200, but since you’re predominantly a mountain nature-pony and the sire-” He stops and asks quietly, “It is Bright Mac. Right?”

I smirk, “Sure is.”

“Good on him!” He declares, “I’ll have to give him a pat on the back.”

I hope Mac’ll pat my back, too… and clap my flanks, bite my neck, and slap my cutie marks…

I say, “Uh~ might want to hold off fer a few days while we try to -uh-”

“-Ah, say no more,” he waves it off with a hoof, “I get it.” I’m not entirely sure he does, “But, as I was saying, since the dam is a strongly exhibiting mountain and the sire a strongly exhibiting forest nature-pony lineages, well, you -how do I put this- uh, you don’t have a lot of ‘elbow room’ in your nursery, if you get my meaning.”

I answer to acknowledge him by summarizing, “Ah’m a shorty and Mac’s likely to make big babies.”

Doctor Horse nods, “That’s right. So, I would like to see you back no later than 60 days, and we will check every 14 after that until the third trimester. Internal issues do not manifest after that point, but I want to be very observant leading into and through the second trimester.”

Grey’s making this sound so easy. I’m such a ninny. If only I weren’t so scared of my daddy finding out from ponies in Baltimare, then Apple Butter wouldn’t have…

Dr. Horse says, “I’ll ask the nurse to make a quick check of the available space for a baseline.”

I ask, “Space?” The nurse holds up that one piece of equipment from which all mares shrink: the speculum. “Oh.”

She says, “Turn around please, lift your tail, and relax.”

I sigh and comply.

After a moment, the nurse says, “Please relax, Pear.”

Befuddled, I claim, “Ah thought Ah was,” and I try to relax harder which is an odd thought in and of itself.

The nurse grunts a few times, “Are you sure you’re relaxed?”

“Ah promise Ah ain’t clampin’ down’r nothin’.”

“This is not a muscle group that normally gets a high level of exercise… but it’s-” She grunts a few more times before there is a splash and some cursing under her breath, “Buck.” I think she holds up the medical tool for the doctor, because she says, “It’s never bent before.”

The doctor nods to his nurse, “Alright. Might need to order some reinforced foaling equipment. Good news is that we have some time.” To me he says, “Pear, we have a pony visit from Canterlot every season to guide mares on certain exercises to help prepare those muscle groups. I will mail you the schedule, but I think she’ll be around in the middle of the Summer.”

I nod, “Thank you. Ah’m sorry about the tool. Ah’ve never done that before.” I haven’t. Harmony, have Mac and I really been exercising that much? … And I still want to go find him and exercise some more.

As Nurse Pony is putting the tool in the wash tray with the equipment she brought in, mumbling something about, ‘stallion’s rod made of metal,’ and starts toweling. She responds to me, “You’re a young, healthy nature-pony probably just getting plenty of exercise,” but she stops and apologizes, “I- I didn’t mean it like that.”

I shrug, “Ye’re not exactly wrong.”

Doctor Horse clears his throat, “Any questions so far?”

I hesitate some, “Um…” I suppose now is as good a time as any to ask, “Why… uh~” How do I put this?

“Why? Oh,” he says. “Really? Well,” and he clears his throat again and begins professionally, “you see, when a stallion -uh- plants in a mare’s garden-”

“-No,” I tell him, “Ah know about all that. That’s how Ah got to this point,” and I tap the side of my belly.

“Oh, that’s good.” He sighs gratefully, “That would have been odd if you didn’t.”

“What Ah’m askin’,” I sigh, “is why Ah still feel like Ah’m in heat.”

They both look at me for a moment, and Nurse Pony speaks first, “You do?” I nod. Both medical ponies look at each other before retrieving some masks to put over their muzzles.

Sedately, he says, “With your permission, Pear, I’d like a second blood sample and to send it plus the previous,” and he points to the one on the Rapid Response Reader. “The university hospital in Canterlot and Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns both have more equipment than we do here for specialized tests. We should get some more answers after those are conducted.”

I shrug and agree, “Sure,” and Nurse Pony starts to take another sample from my other foreleg.

Doctor Horse adds, “I would also to ask Bright Mac to come by to provide some samples for us to test… If you’re alright with that?”

I shrug, “Blood shouldn’t be a big deal.”

He shakes his head, “No. Not blood.”

I ask, “Stool?” He shakes his head again. “Urine? Saliva? Tears? Nose bogeys?”

He slowly shakes his head.

Oh.

“And just to be sure,” he asks, “you only have two ovaries. Right?” He looks back at his clipboard.

“That’s right,” I say, “just the two.”

Having finished the draw, Nurse Pony says to me, “If you’d like to come with your stallion to help us collect the sample, that would be preferrable. We don’t want to intrude on your herd’s privacy.”

Mares can get really protective of their stallion’s ‘white gold’ as some call it. Mac and I shouldn’t have any trouble with all the private rooms here in the hospital.

I just nod, “Ah’ll talk with him a little later.” The nurse then places both vials in a container labeled, ‘thaumatic preservation.’

“If you have no further questions, Pear,” Doctor Horse says, “I just want you to know that I -all of us here- promise to be vigilant to make sure no complications arise or to resolve them if they do.” That actually does take a load off my withers, because I’ll do just about anything to avoid another repeat of what happened to Apple Butter; and he adds, “This is a cause for joy, and we’ll make that happen together.”

We all thank each other and share some hugs before I leave the doctor’s office.

Time to go get Silly and bring him home.

u]Ponyville General Hospital
003 Summer CC

Cotton Scrubs, M.D., CSGU Medical,

Please test for anomalous fertility indicators, full spectrum plus thaumatic. Sample 1: mare, NP, 2-Ov, 2nd foal. Sample 2 to CUH. Pt claims less than one week since attempts began. Estrus persists post-implantation?
Male sample to follow.

Greymare Horse, M.D.

Author's Note

For North Americans, ‘garden’ is the British term for ‘yard’ or ‘lawn.’ In the show, S01E04 “Applebuck Season,” and S01E10, “Swarm of the Century,” ponies are shown to grow things like flowers -which are treated like a variety of vegetable by ponies- amongst other vegetables in the space immediately around their homes in Ponyville. So, I thought the term ‘garden’ works better within the town proper.

I could not find an official name of the river that comes down from Canterlot to Ponyville. The river used in the movie is called the ‘Canterlot River,’ but that leads to the Celestial Sea. I have seen some maps show a river go from the Canterlot area east to the Baltimare and the Celestial Sea called the ‘Delemare River.’ The is an actual river in the U.S. state of Minnesota called ‘Little Pony River.’ Maybe I’ll use that…

There are several ‘Doctor Horse’s in the show. The two most notable are Dr. Horse “Greymare” (S02E16), and Dr. Horse “Doc Top” (S02E10) who looks like he could be a relative of the Carrot family.

I spent some time last Saturday and Sunday watching videos on the You Tubes of House, M.D., Ultra Fast Pony by Wacarb, more “Veterinarian's Hospital” from The Muppet Show than the average person ever should in one sitting.

The scene in the Waiting Room was particularly inspired by a clip of House M.D. where the main character was extremely miffed for some reason or other, came out into his hospital’s Lobby, and started to angrily diagnose patients out in the open -a gross violation of the American HIPAA law (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act). Then I thought, “Muppet Show.”

Of Dirty Dirt: I had an art professor who used to say, "There's a difference between clean dirt and dirty dirt." He was referring to the clay used in pottery as, 'clean dirt.' ... Then again, that professor talked like he spent a significant portion of his life huffing paint thinner kinda the way Tom Petty used to sound.