**Canterlot Castle, Canterlot**
**108 Winter CC**

That is one big stack of reports. But I did technically ask for this.

There are seven provinces here in Equestria with a Marquess or Marquis over each who occasionally rotate with the duchy. In the early days of the nation, the families were local, but a dozen centuries -give or take a few- tend to expand those family trees a tad. Earlies, Counties, Viscounties, Dames, and Baronies were never much of a concern long ago. A pony of sufficient prominence would just make their way into princesshood. 'What use were those other stations,' was the opinion. They weren’t wrong at that time.

The sheer size of the tribes and clans, governance of the country, and continued maintenance of Harmony through the land gave rise to the expansion of the gentry. Although, the majority of them merely go about their lives as though the title they posess on a piece of paper is just that: a piece of paper with some ink on it.

There are plenty of others who eagerly seek to use those fancy documents to serve the country and their fellow ponies. It's generally treated as an honor and a privelage and a lot of work. How often does a foal grow up watching their sire or dam toil behind a desk think, 'that looks like the life for me?'

That is another very good reason to have waiting list of titled ponies; it prevents the 'burn out' as it has come to be called. *Sigh* Someday soon, even I shall... um~ wait. When is my sister-?

Did I ever get around to establishing that Annual Chronicle? Sometimes, my pony-brain, I swear... I definitely have to remember to ask Twilight Shimmer when she gets back from mareternity leave. That mare is an outstanding assistant. Ooh~ I can't wait to see her firstborne!

Yearlings are one of the few things that never cease to make me feel young...

... Young Twilight Shimmer's substitute should be coming by later today. Crystal Inkwell is an outstanding undersecretary. I'm sure she'll take to the temporary assessment like a duck in water.

Okay. Back to the document grind, Celestia.

The two provinces in the east are Mareland and Neigh York. The central Equestrian provinces are Manesota, Misakega, and New Mexicolt. Out west are Coltifornia and Colorodeo.

Seven summaries from the Provincial Marquesians stacked here show the results of the Annual Census that I enacted some time ago. The Baronies, Knights, and the Mayors collected the information locally and provided that upwards to their respective Counties who worked with their Margraves.

In a lot of ways, utilizing that old Heroine’s Guild infrastructure really helped to transform the small community governance system. Wow, I haven’t thought of that Guild in years.

Prince Blueblood's office compiled the whole thing and combined the Seven into a one-page aggregate. I love it when the system works. I only have to look at the one; but if I want to go a little deeper, the others are there. All the details are here at my hooves should I need to take a fine toothed tailbrush to it.

But this is the Annual Census, after all. Normally, I don’t collect the entire dataset unless I request it. Economic, health, Guard, and policy issues are entirely different animals -though there is always a little overlap- and after all these years, I think I’m pretty good at noticing discrepancies.

The detailed reports stacked all around the room here will go to the new and expanding repository on the edge of the Crystal Mountain range near Neighagra. Underground, climate controlled, secured, not adjacent to any other nationstates and is proving to have several strong veins of ore and crystals: a complete win-win-win-win for the country. One of those 'wins' is for all the jobs that project has made and continues to make.

The ones in the Unicorn Range and the Foal Mountains are all full now. I still have trouble fathoming that.

Okay, Blue, please show me some good news for my little ponies:

Census Grand Summary:
Total population: 12.1 million. (An overall loss of approx. 0.005% from previous.) Not the worst it's ever been but not great.

Overall Summary:
Births: 42,000, approx. Noteable increases in Stratusburg, Sire's Hollow, and Rainbow Falls (reference Trial Attempt to Revitalize Rural Equine Populations with Mandatory Herd Minimums Act - TARREP’MH-MA).
Mortality: (109,000), approx. Noteable increase in loss from in newly established settlements in New Mexicolt(*2).
Metropolitan ratio approx. 5:1 mare to stallion; rural approx. 7:1.
Breakdowns in numbers for areas, ages, sex, and respective Marque report citations as follows...

Stratusburg, Sire's Hollow, and Rainbow Falls? That's right. Those are the first towns we started testing the mandatory herd minimums a couple years ago. The success in the isolated population increase spurred a gradual rollout of the policy to help my little ponies adapt. The herding culture was much stronger long ago and has naturally come and gone as things do, but something had to be done when these censuses began to reveal the gender ratio and declining population.

I should schedule meetings with the Agricultural and Education departments about preparing to increase advertisement and enrollment in the food production and peripheral farming trades... I also need to talk with the Guard about all of the non age-related pony deaths in the frontiers. It is always expected with new settlements, but I think we could do better-

*knock, knock*

"Enter."

"Are you ready for your lunch, Princess?" Elbow Grease, a hard working mare, enters and announces the meal's arrival. Eating at my desk: what a way to use my off-day.

"Yes, please, El." She smiles wide and bows out to return with the meal carte.

She pulls it close to me. It is larger than usual. She explains, "As you can see, Princess, the actual meal is to the fore of the display: pasta salad with a berry vinagrette; olives, broccolinis, and freshly cut curds; green oats toasted on an apple crumble; and a pitcher of cucumber water. A side of tea and pear wine." She loudly whispers with a hoof by her mouth, “In separate carafes,” and after a pause adds, "That was a joke," with several winks.

I usually assume that the tea and wines are kept in independent containers, and we are the only ones in the room.

Her presentation is unnecessarily over the top which is one of the reasons I appointed her to this position; I love all the little quirks my little ponies seem to manifest. It’s these types things that make eternal youth feel new each day instead of monotonous and repetitive. They truly are a blessing.

"Yes," I giggle, "thank you, El."

The feeling makes me recall some of Starswirl’s old tales of the unrivaled innocence and joys of the Frolicking of Paradise Valley… but with significantly less fornication. I suppose I’ll never know if he was making that up to mess with me and Luna or if he possessed some hidden secrets of the pony progenitors’ primordial place of propagation prior to our promulgation from paradise puh-peh-p-pleh pleh… huh. I didn’t know I could tongue tie my own thinker…

The maid thinks to herself, ‘It’s those rare faces she makes! Ooh, it’ll take weeks to replicate that one on canvas, but I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that particular one once I have it.’

She continues to introduce the Princess’ meal, "And chef Light Batter was inspired earlier today and made this," Elbow removes a large cover to reveal a three-layer cake at the back of the carte tray. “He was cryptic about his particular ingredient selection but mentioned chocolate and red berries.”

"Mm~ I will most definitely have to thank her later."

With a few more winks, Elbow says, “I’m sure she’ll love anything you give her, Princess. Enjoy." The maid bows and exits my working office.

Sometimes I wonder if she actually knows what she’s insinuating. It’s really hard to tell given how innocent ponies can be.

I should finish Blueblood's... Ah! This:
Special AssignmentGreen pegasi: 1,847. Decrease of 157. 43 new(*see addendum*) An addendum? What is this?

**For Official Use Only**

District 6, Southeast
Baltimare Ponice Department
SGT Rocky Road, attesting.

Date: 093 Spring CC
Time: 1930 hours

***

Witness #1
Cherry Moon (F), age 22, NP
Address: 23 Sea Street, Apt 301
Work: Ice Lily Imports, pier 7, day shift

Witness #2
Cobalt (M), age 30, NP
Address: 221 High Road, Apt 112
Work: Ruby Moon Logistics, Oak Street, day shift

***

Occurrence
Approximately 1745 hours, between dock 4-5, east of pier 7, on 093 Spring CC, two witnesses report walking along beach, low tide, sighting of alleged homeless / abandoned foal… eating garbage on East Gate Street North boardwalk. Witnesses report green P foal, apparent Kiger coloration on legs, black mane and tail, green eyes. Claim seeing signs of injury on muzzle: blood. Witness claims foal had not yet developed sclera whites; possible age: 0-3 months, potentially younger.

***

Statements
Witness #2, "We were walking along the beach when we noticed the trash can tipped over on its own. The foal emerged from it with an apple and started eating it like it was the first thing he's had in Celestia-knows how long. He- he was so happy for that r- rotten f- f- fruit." W2 became emotional.
Witness #1, "We just froze and watched. Then it saw us and froze, too." W2 became hysterical at this point during the interview. Attempted to console.

W1 claims to have pursued the foal, but it ran. She slipped on the slime trail of a baby smooze and lost sight of it, claims flight path heading north over a building, 31-241 Gate Street. Claims 6-8 hoof (1-1.2 wing) wingspan, approximately 2-3 hoof height to whithers.

Witnesses claim to have then collected themselves and sought to nearest city station to report incident.

***

Notes
Witnesses both distraught. They clearly saw something. Difficult to substantiate based on account. 6-8hf wingspan highly unusual for foal under 2-years; height is reasonable under 1-year.

Remind witnesses that specific beach is not generally for public use due to high tide mark, and that it’s still considered a part of the public square. (I.e. no 'hanky panky' permitted in public spaces, according to numerous city ordinances.) No citation necessary at this time.

Follow-up recommended on site by BMPD and with emotional well-being of witnesses by recommended therapists.

Assign case number - - 24-6-01.

***

Signed,
SGT Rocky Road

***

FWD copy to:
Department of Royal Investigations,
Special Interests
**008 Autumn CC**

**For Official Use Only**

**Hallway, Canterlot Castle, Canterlot**
**108 Winter CC**

'I've spent many seasons apprenticed to Twilight Shimmer, senior assistant to the Princess. She's a very organized mare. It took a few seasons, but she finally convinced her herd-stallion that her employment is stable enough to provide for foals.'

'Stallions. They can be quite fickle -always keeping eyes open and ears swiveling for the mare who will offer the most protection and provision, always looking to make the best nest.’

'Her herdmates are not assistants to the Princess, but it is well-known as a high stress position with irregular turnover. To combat this reputation, the Princess reorganized her Clerical Wing a while back. There is one Senior Assistant at the top, but the Assistant has an entire Unit of her own assistants to assist the Assistant: assistants, secretaries, and undersecretaries.’

'To keep from the Senior Assistant from burning out, there is a rotation for that top spot. But if somepony gets a taste for it and actually likes it, then the Princess is always grateful to offer the prime assistancy to such a mare as a more permanent assignment.'

'And now that Twilight Shimmer is out on mareternity, it is my turn.'

'Okay, Crystal. You're poised. You're experienced. You've worked hard and earned this. You can do it.'

'Nice deep breath,' an~d

*knock, knock*

"E- enter," says the Princess from within her office. Today was the day she was to receive the Census data from Prince Blueblood's offices. It is also supposed to be her off-day. No Day Court today. It's just a day for her to take it easy and recover from the week's toils.

One of the two guards opens the door for the mare and closes it once she enters. The Princess is at her desk. It looks like she’s finishing her meal -daubing her muzzle with a kerchief.

‘It’s not good to work and eat at the same time, Princess. You are allowed to take some time away from the bureaucratic burden.’

“Crystal Inkwell, good afternoon.” Sounds like she might have had something spicy.

After entry and a professional bow, "Good afternoon, Princess," 'we could all learn from the example of Her work ethi- what the holy hay am I looking at right now!?'

'I can see an entire, intact cake poking through her barrel. Why can I see an entire cake poking through the Princess? What even-? I'm pretty sure the Princess has the same bone structure as any other pony. She's just bigger than the rest of us... Right? But that -that right there- is where ribs should be. Instead, I can see the curvature of a round confectionary. I can even see the bumps from all three layers from the decorative frosting!'

'Even if she could dislocate her jaw like a snake, there is still only so much space between the collar bones and spine. Yet there is a cake right there, sitting in the Princess' belly without any signs of ever being chewed… Mocking me.'

'None of this makes any sense! What's the purpose if she teleported it straight into her gullet? There is no taste that way. Right? Or can alicorns taste things from their insides? ... No, no, that's just silly... but not as silly as a fully intact three-layer cake poking out of the Princess' sides like it's a thing to do. A pony's body is not supposed to work like this.'

'Twilight Shimmer has a foal due in a few weeks, but if the foal rolls over nopony could see the imprint of its muzzle on her tummy. Yet I can clearly see written on the Princess' love handles on that cake inside her, 'Happy Tuesday, Princess.' Is this the kind of thing Twilight deals with every day?'

"-and that should yield some results... Ms. Inkwell?"

Crystal Inkwell just keeps staring at the Princess' belly.

Slightly louder, "Miss Inkwell?"

This rouses the mare with a start, "Ah! Y- yes, Princess?"

"Is everything alright?" The Princess asks with some concern.

The undersecretary begins slowly, measuring her words, "Well, I was wondering..."

"Yes?" Celestia asks.

"I was wondering..."

"Ye~s?" The alicorn inquires with a small increase in curiosity but not too much. She doesn't want to startle the temporary replacement for her current substitute Assistant.

"Are you...?"

"Yes? Am I what?" The princess is becoming quite intrigued with her new assistant’s hesitant desire.

"Are you okay?"

The Princess blinks. "Am I.. okay?" Crystal nods. "Well, I did receive some troubling reports here from the gentry about a certain issue I've been looking into, but-"

"-No, no," the substitute secretary boldly interrupts her Princess who politely tilts her head at the smaller mare, "I mean..." And she gently points towards the Princess' middle with a forehoof.

Princess Celestia's eyes follow Crystal Inkwell's hoof as it aims at her belly, and, "Oh," realizes what the mare has been staring at this whole time. "Yeah~"

'What,’ the assistant’s inner voice states with flat intonation.

"I might've gotten a little emotional about one of these reports and may~be got just a teensy little bit *urp* carried away," the larger pony chuckles nervously with some brevity in her voice. The Princess rubs her belly with a shoed forehoof, and the rubbed dent remains after she removes her hoof.

Maker above. The dent is still there. That is an actual pony-sized cake! What. The. Buck.

"Bu~t," Princess Celestia gets just a little serious, "if it doesn't move soon, I may need a… a hoof."

'Move? A hoof? What does she mean?'

Crystal asks, "Uh, Princess, why don't you teleport it out?"

The princess lets out a melodious laugh, "But then it wouldn't-“ as she began to explain, a frosting shaped hoof-sized sculpture of the princess escaped from her digestive tomb onto the real princess’s desk. The alicorn noticed immediately and hoofed it back into her masticatory entrance. I will never be able to prove this, but I swear I could hear the sugar-pony quietly squeal something before disappearing. “-ugh,” the princess resumes as if nothing happened, “but then it wouldn’t be here," and pats her cake-bump-belly.

'Wait. Did she mean she'll need help or an actual hoof? Why would she need a hoof specifically?'

Seemingly able to read the smaller mare's mind, Princess Celestia makes a labored pushing motion with one of her forehooves with a knowing, strained, and possibly apologetic expression on her face.

Everypony in the room can’t help but feel a nearly inaudible rumble in the deep. Us two are the only ones in the room.

‘Twilight Shimmer, you did not train me for this.’

Author's Note

The wheels of the great machine are slow to turn, but once they get going…

So this A/N started to get rather long. I decided to move it to a Blog Post. https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1041110/truancy-chapter-4-extended-authors-note