Eclipse

All of us, with the exception of Lorrie, have managed to finish off the bottles of whiskey and brandy. The latter now flipped upside down and seated firmly on the tip of Luna’s horn.

“I must say, I regret my avoidance of partaking in spirits all these years. ‘Tis unbecoming of a princess’ as sister would always say…” Luna says cheerfully, swaying slightly on her cushion as she lifts her front legs to emphasize her impression by making air quotes with her hooves.

“Wait….you’re saying you have some damn good alcohol over there, but you’ve never actually gotten drunk before?” Mason asks incredulously.

“Indeed, and it is truly a shame…this feeling is most delightful!” Luna replies with a giddy smile, nearly losing her balance as she returns her forelegs to the cushion.

“Maybe you should slow it down then?” Lorrie pitches in with a note of concern, eyeing both myself and Mason accusingly. “All of you…”

She might have a point. Was I not feeling the warm buzz of liquor myself, I might have been concerned about the potentially dire consequences of what a drunken alicorn could do, unintentionally or otherwise.

That said, I find myself much more content to simply see how things play out. We had all loosened up substantially over the evening, leaving the prior tension and mutual mistrust far behind. We all have so much to worry about, so why not take a load off and leave all that for tomorrow?

“Oh lighten up, when did you become such a…uh, Karen?” Mason replies indignantly.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe about the time the FBI decided to hunt us down, or have you forgotten all about that?”

“Okay, okay….I get your point, but come on.” I butt in, gesturing toward Luna who has gone cross-eyed trying to look up at the bottle as it clinks and wobbles precariously on her horn. “Why don’t you relax and have a drink with us?”

“Thanks, but at least one of us should have a clear head.” Lorrie answers firmly, not finding the sight nearly as entertaining.

Luna chuckles at that. “Hehe, thou does remind us of our sister. Perhaps she too is one of these ‘Karens’ thou speakest of?”

Lorrie huff irritably and throws her hands up. “Not you too! You guys are a bad influence, you know that?”

“Eh, guilty as charged.” Mason shrugs. “Anyone else hungry? I’m feeling some nachos.”

The mention of food grabs Luna’s attention, and the bottle finally loses its precarious balance on her horn as she turns her head quickly, flying off and rolling across the floor loudly.

“You have those here!?” She asks excitedly, her wings flaring out to keep her balance as she leans forward.

“Uhh, you have Mexican food in Ponyland?” Mason asks curiously, already making his way to the kitchen.

Luna tilts her head and offers him a puzzled look in return. “I am not sure what a ‘Mexican’ is, but this dish you speak of. It is made with chips and melted cheese, yes?”

“Yeah. Huh, universal nachos…..who woulda thought? You guys got tacos over there too?”

“We do….though I assume humans do not make them with fried hay?”

“Hay tacos? Oh, that’s just wrong.” Mason shakes his head as he sets down a pan and begins covering it with chips, the noise muffling his further mumbled rant about the ruination of good food.

“Hmmph, well I think they’re quite good as commoner food goes.” Luna huffs. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to use the fillies’ room.”

It takes me a moment to register what that means, though it becomes obvious as she gets to her hooves and heads for the bathroom.

“Heh, just don’t make a mess of it like you did with mine.”

“Wh…wha!?” Luna stops in her tracks, wings flaring out in alarm as she turns back to glare at me. Somehow, even through her dark coat, her cheeks are visibly lit up in a bright red blush. “I…I thought we agreed never to speak of that!?”

“Oh, this I have to hear.” Mason interjects, looking up from the pan of chips he had been topping with a bag of shredded cheese. “Let me guess Chandler, you left the toilet seat up, didn’t you?” He chuckles wryly.

“No, it was more li…”

“IT IS NOT OUR FAULT THOU HAVE SUCH SMALL AND STRANGELY SHAPED TOILETS!”

The sheer volume of Luna’s panicked shout makes us all shrink back as she gallops the rest of the way across the room and slams the bathroom door behind her.

“Owwww. You guys really shouldn’t tease her like that.” Lorrie complains, rubbing her ears painfully.

Mason meanwhile glances at the closed door before looking back to me and mouthing “how bad?”

“Everywhere.” I mouth back, suppressing a chuckle.

“God, you guys are so childish! Seriously!” Lorrie hisses.

Her complaint has the opposite of its intended effect as both myself and Mason fail to hold back a fit of laughter.

A moment later the bathroom door slams open and Luna emerges with a scowl on her face, her flowing tail giving an irritated flick as her withering gaze pans back and forth between the two of us. If looks could kill…

“You know, thou art quite loud. I cannot help but agree that your behavior is rather coltish to find such amusement in my bodily functions.”

The measured calmness of her voice somehow manages to unnerve me even more than the death stare.

“Sorry!” I apologize hastily. “We’re vets….toilet humor is kind of unavoidable.” Not to mention dark jokes and sexual innuendoes…

“Yeah….sorry.” Mason mutters, though the trace smile on his face strips any sincerity from the words.

Luna closes her eyes and takes a long, deep breath and letting it out slowly. When she opens them again, she appears measurably calmer.

“Very well.” She sighs. “I doubt I will ever understand humans. So remarkably similar, and yet were one of my guards to make such crass remarks….well, it would be unthinkable.”

“Are you sure about that?” Mason asks over his shoulder as he finally manages to find the focus to slide the tray into the oven. “I mean, soldiers are soldiers. They might be shining example of discipline on duty, but I bet you wouldn’t believe the things they say when they’re not in the spotlight.”

That gives Luna pause, so he continues.

“No matter how well trained someone is, we’re not machines……they’re not machines, right?”

She shakes her head.

“So yeah…I’m willing to bet there’s no shortage of degeneracy going on right under your nose.”

“Hmmph.” Luna snorts. “I shall consider this, and may need to have a long talk with my captain upon my return.”

“Way to miss the point, Luna…” I mutter under my breath. “At least you’re cute when you’re angry.”

She really was. The way her muzzle wrinkles. The way her tail flicks and her wings flare out to make her look larger. Even considering how intimidating she can be, and the fact that she could more than likely vaporize all of us with little more than a thought, it could only do so much in contrast to her being a fluffy little pony.

“C…cute!?”

Crap!l Apparently I hadn’t so much thought that, but had blatantly blurted it out.

She begins walking toward me, eyes narrowing. “So you think to mock me, only to follow up your poor excuse of an apology with such foalish teasing?”

“No, that’s not what I meant at…”

“Nay! Think nothing of it!” She stops a few feet short, her expression softening as she seems to consider me. “Perhaps I misjudged, and your compliment is sincere. One I hope comes from the heart, and not….”

She brings up a hoof and taps me none to gently between my legs, causing me to gasp more from surprise than pain. The feeling of the soft underside of her hoof brushing against a particularly intimate spot only adds to my confusion.

“…Not one born of more….naughty desires…”

I look around hurriedly. Fortunately with the couch in the way, and my back turned to the kitchen, her action had gone unnoticed by the others.

“Though I’ll admit, after that dream of yours I have found myself rather curious…” She smirks, giving my zipper a flick and gazing up at me with an unmistakeable burning desire in those soft teal eyes.

“No, it’s nothing like that!” I blurt out, taking a few steps back.

My shock and embarrassment shift to confusion as she starts laughing.

“Now that, is how you tease somepony!” She giggles, catching me with a flick of her long tail as she turns to head back to her cushion.

“Wh…what!?” I stand there awkwardly for a moment before turning to see her sitting there innocently, as if she’d done nothing at all.

“Something up, Dave?” Mason asks, looking over from the kitchen as he leans against the counter next to the oven.

How the hell had he not seen any of that?

“Nothing.” I say with a sigh before turning my attention back to Luna.

“Dammit Luna, you’re drunk!” I growl accusingly.

“Hmmm, perhaps. Or perhaps you simply cannot stand when the horseshoe is on the other hoof?” She grins smugly, as if daring me to press the issue.

I’m still trying to puzzle out her distinctly equine metaphor when there’s a thunk, and I look over to see a steaming hot tray of nachos resting on the table. Portions of it are covered in bare cheese, while others contain a scattering of jalapeños and black olives.

“Here we are, help yourselves!” Mason beams.

I’m silently thankful for the distraction, as if there’s anything to grab the attention of a group of drunks, it’s a plate of junk food.

Any lingering questions or accusations are pushed aside as we gather around the table and eagerly dig in.

At this point all of us, with the exception of Mason, had gotten used to Luna’s casual use of magic. That being the case, he can’t help but stare unashamedly at the generous pile of chips she has hovering in front of her, pulling out a few at a time to munch on.

Her eyes flit over to him as she finishes crunching a mouthful and swallows.

“Have I done something wrong? Why are you staring at me?” She questions as she selects another chip from her floating stash.

“No, that’s just fuckin’ trippy….your magic, I mean.” He replies. He holds up a hand toward the glowing blue aura, but hesitates.”Is it safe?”

“Of course.” She nods. “It is true there are spells capable of doing great harm, but one such as this is quite benign.”

Even with her assurance, he can’t help but flinch as her magic envelopes his outstretched hand.

“Huh…I expected it to feel like, I don’t know…something.” Mason breathes, wiggling his fingers in the glowing cloud.

“Such would only be the case were I to intend it to do something. Observe…”

Mason’s eyes widen as one of his fingers begins to flex on its own. “Oh….oh, that’s fuckin’ weird!”

The glow winks out as he jerks his hand away and examines it curiously.

Yeah, now imagine being lifted up and flown through the air like that. I think wryly to myself as I chuckle at his reaction.

We make short work of the remaining nachos, and when the tray is empty, Mason brings it back to the kitchen, stifling a yawn as he sets it by the sink.

“Well, I don’t know about you guys, but think I’m about ready to call it a night.”

His yawn is echoed shortly by Lorrie, and a glance at the clock reveals it to be going into the early hours of the morning.

“Well, I don’t mind staying here on the couch, but that leaves Dave and Luna to split the bed.”

“This is not an issue. I will not need to rest until after I lower…” Luna stops herself. “Until after the sun rises.”

“You sure you’ll be alright staying up by yourself?” Mason asks. “Sounds kinda boring and lonely, if you ask me.”

“Thank you, but I will be fine. I am no stranger to solitude, and have always taken pleasure in the peacefulness of the night.”

With that, we say our good nights. A long, stress filled day combined with a belly full of food and alcohol takes its toll, and it’s not long after I settle into bed before I drift off into a deep, and mercifully dreamless sleep.