I don’t know what I was expecting to see once the flash of light from teleportation cleared out of my vision. I know that you could give me one billion guesses and I would not have guessed this. Glass clouds raining down soda, buildings floating in the air, and I’m sure there’s more but that’s all I can see through the window in the throne room. What the hell is this? “Alright sister, Ignis and Nightmare have returned. Any word on your student? We need the elements as soon as possible.”

“Spike said she still hadn’t returned from the Everfree so I used Sending to contact her. She’s currently gathering the other elements and then they’ll be on their way. Although with how far we are from Ponyville it’ll be a few hours. Even if they left on the next train out.”

“Why not just teleport them here? Surely you have the mana?” Luna asks, genuinely confused. If I didn’t know any better I’d think she’s like five seconds away from insulting Celly.

“I can’t. Wait, you were able to teleport Ignis? Quick you need to bring Twilight and the others here, now!”

“Ah ah ah, how could I have forgotten about dear Luna? I’m afraid neither of you will be able to assist the element bearers. I want some time to really stretch my bones before I play with those six. Seriously, you all wouldn’t believe how stiff my back was!” Some mysterious voice fills the entire throne room with cackling. Luna’s horn ignites but with a loud popping sound her horn just shoots confetti and she winces as if the spell backfired. I might really be out of my depth here.

Suddenly an amalgamation of creatures appears in the air before flying down and coiling around Nightmare. “And what do we have here? You’re that little ball of resentment and envy aren’t you? Why, the last time I saw you, you were barely a whisper in the back of dear Luna's mind. They truly do grow up so fast.”

Any lingering thoughts of fear are stomped in an instant. Watching this creature coil himself around the mare, my mare has me seeing red. I reach out with my telekinesis and grab the villain with a giant hand of mana, as if I was picking up a garden snake in my backyard. It works for a second and the creature is pulled away from Nightmare. After that though the creature just slips out of the grasp like he’s covered in oil.

“And then there’s you. The one that shouldn’t even be here. I have to admit that I am a fan of some of your work, you could truly be my rival in a few hundred thousand years or so. Anyone who manages to make that old hag, hiding away in her own private dimension, angry is really someone that I respect. Unfortunately for you, you annoy me as well.”

Suddenly the thing flies behind me and puts his head right next to mine as he throws his arm around me. “There are very few that can wield Chaos magic in this world, bladesinger. The number of them that can wield it without my blessing is even lower. It’s zero in fact. So, imagine my surprise when one of the first things I see when I sober up from being stoned is some nobody attempting to control and organize the same magic that I wield. Then there’s the fact that you’re a bladesinger even though I am sure I wiped those annoying pests from existence eons ago. You are truly a perplexing existence.”

“What are you even talking about? The only magic I wield is Equestrian magic, through mana, and my own magic that I brought from my homeland. I’ve never heard of this “Chaos” magic you speak of.”

“Oh really? Well I don’t think you're lying, so it seems you just don’t know. Hmm, should I waste my time explaining it?” Suddenly the creature turns into a flat two dimensional picasso art, and lays down as if someone drew him onto the floor of the throne room. “I suppose you should at least understand the reason I dislike you. It’s this book you have here.”

I feel a weight unclick from my back and my confusion grows even more as my spellbook floats through the air. “It’s this blasted thing right here. It’s constantly producing Chaos magic and polluting the air around you with it. Just watching you use my magic makes me want to retch. You reach into the Chaos and do some stupid hand movements, you chant some words, and then throw it something inane like a leaf from a yew tree. Somehow all of those random things combined folds and morphs my magic into a spell.”

My eyes widen and it feels like my heart is in my throat as the spellbook catches on fire. “I wouldn’t even be upset if that was all there was to it. You look like an insane creature when pulling and folding my magic, and it honestly is right on brand with what I would expect. But no, the thing that really irks me is that the magic does exactly what you were expecting it to do. This magic is not meant to be ordered or tamed. It’s not a plaything for you to use and throw out little sparks of fire.”

The creature pauses and looks at the spellbook, confused. He rises out of the floor and sticks one of his fingers from his thin chicken-like arm into his mouth and blows air into it. Popping and expanding back into his original three dimensional form. He continues to stare at the spellbook. I’d go as far as to say he’s perplexed. “Why isn’t this accursed item turning to ash?”

There’s a bead of sweat on his face now as he strains while pointing at the book. “How can this be? For me to be completely unable to even scuff this artifact it must’ve been created by someone extremely powerful. Certainly no one from this harmonized dump.”

The fire goes out and the book drops to the ground. Like a child bored with his toy he just scoffs and walks away while humming deep in thought. Honestly for all the feats he’s pulled off he doesn’t really seem that intimidating. He doesn’t even really have a presence to him. If he’s just gunna turn his back to me like this, why not take advantage of it? Let’s see what he can really do.

Luckily for me, we’re in the throne room. I have one of my ambush Glyphs of Warding here. Shame I used my 6th level spell slot against the Wraith though, I had something I wanted to try. Okay 5th Level, “Ashardalon’s Stride!”

Speed: +30ft. 60ft total.

Now I don’t provoke opportunity attacks and I deal fire damage whenever I move close to someone.

Bladesong. +10ft. 70ft total. 23 AC.

Now the conditions for the Glyph I’m standing on are met. If I’m concentrating on a spell and using a bladesong while standing on this glyph, activate. The 10ft wide magical pattern suddenly appears and glows bright white. I feel the burst of speed hit me as the glyph casts the buffing spell on me.

Haste. Speed: 140ft. 25 AC.

All of this happens within a fraction of a second of each other. Fire engulfs my feet and spreads out in an intricate design that climbs my calves. The aura from the bladesong encases me then the glyph glows bright and casts Haste. “Disable Real-Time Combat.”

If this guy is as powerful as they say he is then I need the system. The chimera-esque monster is still seemingly unaware of my intent to attack, so with no hesitation I launch myself at Discord.

Roll for Initiative. (A/N: If you want the true experience, stop at 1:57, I’m very descriptive during this next part so our progress through the bladesong is very slow compared to real time. 1:57 is where the bladesong ends in story though. If it’s too much trouble then maybe just listen to the song without reading until 1:57 then come back.)

13 + 5 = 18.

As soon as the dice disappears and time resumes I move like a blur through the air. Once I reach him I activate Lunar Blessing, and become engulfed in the Moonbeam. Then I swing the Moonblade straight at his back.

Unfortunately right before I get close enough to him for my Stride or Moonbeam to damage him he pops out of existence and I swing at the air. Landing on one foot I almost carry too much forward momentum and lose balance. Hopping around on one foot for a second I finally catch myself. I put so much of my body into the swing I was not prepared to just swing at air.

I hear a familiar popping sound behind me and quickly pivot to face the sound. The asshole is just floating in the air on his back as if he’s laying in a lounge chair by the pool. He’s even got sunglasses on while reading an upside down book. “My my, so violent. I’m a bit surprised though, they said your song was quite pitiful, but that’s not bad. I definitely saw worse forms when I tore through their hidden fortress.”

Without waiting I just swing again at him. How is this fucker doing things when it’s still my turn? This time the blade is arcing through the air as I jump and swing straight down at his body. When I’m still a second away from hitting him I watch him snap his fingers on his chicken hand, and then look at his hand with confusion.

13 + 11 = 24.

This time there is no teleportation or blinking, the sword strikes true. At least it looked like it struck true. As soon as the blade made contact my entire Moonblade just went limp like it’s a pool noodle instead of a sword, and the blade just slaps him and bends around his body a bit. Seriously what the fuck is this guy? What am I supposed to do against this?!

“That’s interesting. How have you managed to restrict me? I tried turning into a bunch of springy snakes you find in a prank can of peanut brittle, but nothing seems to happen. You are becoming more and more interesting by the second.”

In a panic I land and push myself backwards away from the creature. As soon as my blade stops touching him it snaps back to its normal shape and returns to normal. I’ve used my Haste action and half of my Attack action. I can still cast a cantrip with Extra Attack and then recast it with my Bonus Action. Let’s try and keep our distance and see if my spells fare any better.

Channeling energy into the staff in my left hand since it’s now my spellcasting focus, I cast fire bolt. “Ignis!”

19 + 11 = 30.

Discord just yawns and looks at his wrist where a watch would be if he had one. Then he starts to contort his body into an O shape to dodge the Fire Bolt, but the magical attack just curves mid air and slams into him.

23 Fire Damage. Damage Mitigated.

The spell lands and I internally celebrate but then it’s his coat…it just ripples a bit and there’s no mini explosion. The Fire Bolt is just gone. Does he have that status where he’s immune to spells under a certain level? I think it’s usually level 6 right? Oh fuck me.

“There’s still plenty of time, I suppose I can play with you.” His face seems to turn just a bit serious after being unable to dodge the Fire Bolt, and his voice has a bit of hostility to it. He snaps his claws again, and nothing happens. “This is starting to get on my nerves! Why can’t I use my magic?”

“Ehh, it’s still not your turn, dipshit.” The illusionist bracers light up and hum, indicating they’re ready for me to use Fire Bolt again with my bonus action. This time I project three Strengthen runes in front of the staff and as the spell casts I push out and channel as much mana as I can into the staff so that the spells can combine. I’ve done this before but I don’t think I’ve ever done it with more than one Strengthen rune.

20 + 11 = 31. Natural 20.

Discord holds up his hand with one claw extended, it reminds of the pose a nerd takes when he says, Uhm Ackshually. “That’s adorable. You can’t combine those two types of mag- WHAT?!” Before he can finish saying whatever nonsense he was going to say he’s interrupted by the triple Strengthened Fire Bolt. It roars through the air, nearly the size of a Fireball and nails the fucker right in his face.

21 + 30 + ??? = ??E?ror? Fire Damage.

Oh right the system still doesn’t really know how to handle the combination mana attacks. It doesn’t matter though because the spell releases a glass shattering explosion on impact that feels like it’s shaking the entire room. The smoke instantly clears and Discord is just floating there in the exact same pose, but his extended claw is halfway bent instead of fully extended.

His entire face is covered in black soot and all the features on his face are pointed backwards, like he stuck his face into a 300mph wind tunnel. He literally looks like a looney toons character when a bomb goes off in their face. Discord shakes his head a couple of times and all the soot clears away, but when he stops the shaking all of his facial features are shifted around. His mouth is under his eyebrows and his eyes are sideways. Is this dude really just gunna treat everything like a joke?

“I must say, I don’t appreciate your constant attacks on me.” He grabs his face and spins his head around so fast it’s a blur. His head is doing full 360 degree rotations, his neck should be completely shattered. The spinning stops and his face is back to normal. “I get it, you’re just under a lot of stress~. Why don’t I help you out and lighten the load?”

Discord snaps his claws again and my body feels a lot lighter. In fact, it’s too light. Without warning I do a flip and float in the air upside down, and my body starts shooting towards the ceiling. He didn’t make me levitate, he reversed gravity! Specifically for just me!

Just when I start to think that’s all he did I’m suddenly falling towards the eastern wall of the throne room. Then up towards the ceiling again. Then towards the northern wall. Everytime the direction of gravity changes my body flips around against my will and I very quickly become disorientated. My Lunar Blessing deactivates and the Moonbeam disperses.

“Discord! Put him down this instant!” Out of everyone here I did not expect Celestia to be the one to call out to him and tell him to stop. Everything is a bit blurry and I’m dizzy but I think I see Luna giving her a confused look. I agree with Luna’s look, I don’t know why Celly said anything. This guy isn’t going to listen to her.

“No can do, Sunny! That spell is for a set amount of time I’m afraid, I can’t stop it now even if I wanted to. Which, I don’t, for the record.” A light bulb appears over his head. “Oh! I know! I’ll give him something he can use as an anchor!”

With another snap of his claws I watch in horror as all the pews, benches, potted plants, and even the throne starts to float in the air and they all angle themselves towards me. An instant later they all start flying at me at alarming rates of speed.

“Feather Fall!” Thinking quickly I cast feather fall, and now even though the direction of gravity keeps shifting my body is rotating and falling much slower. Let’s put this 140ft of movement to use.

Acrobatics (Advantage - Bladesong)

5 and 18. 18 + 9 = 27.

The first pew is just about in striking distance and I reach out with my hand towards it. “I want to talk to you about violence in our cities.” It’s a bit awkward since I’m still holding the Moonblade, but I’m able to use my fingers to push myself up in the air a bit. That’s enough for me to tuck my legs in and start to run along the top of the pew as it flies under me.

Intelligence Saving Throw

19 + 9 = 28.

Jumping off the pew I curve my body and do a sideways somersault. A potted plant flies through the C I formed with my body. Time seems to slow down as I’m turning in the air and my brain starts to think at light speed.

East, Up, North, Down, West, and South. That’s the exact order the direction of gravity shifts. If I want to counteract the force I just need to use the incoming objects to push myself in the opposite direction of whatever the gravity is about to be, as it changes. If that’s the case I need to push myself West, Down, South, Up, East, and North every half a second or so. If I’m going to move in those directions in that order…

I watch as hundreds of imaginary lines draw themselves in the air and bounce around between the obstacles flying at me. From an outside perspective it probably looks like I’m glancing around in every direction very quickly and erratically.

That path! That should work. All the paths disappear except the one I focused in on. If I want to make my way back down into striking distance of Discord then that’s the path I have to take. Bouncing, pushing, and jumping off those pews and benches in that order will move me in those directions and I can get back down there.

“I will use whatever force is necessary to restore order.”

Time flows normally again as I say the line, and like a bullet I’m off. Jumping, twisting and turning to jump again, and pushing with my hands I bounce around the objects like a bouncy ball in a narrow pathway. With every obstacle I use I get closer and closer to the ground. Finally Discord is close enough that I close the distance.

“Steel Wind Strike.”

I flourish my Moonblade as I jump off the large throne and vanish into the wind. Instead of bouncing, now I’m teleporting to four different obstacles so that I can get within 30ft of the Chaos monster. Within a fraction of a second I chain together multiple blinks, cutting the last four obstacles in my path and finally I blink into the serpent like creature.

15 + 11 = 26.

As I slice through space I feel a slight resistance indicating my blade definitely hit something. I reappear behind Discord, finally back on solid ground, and instantly turn around. Ready to pounce at him again for a follow up attack, but I pause, shocked at the sight before me. Where discord once was there’s now a cardboard cutout of him looking up with his paw and hand on his face. He’s making an exaggerated shocked face. As soon as I turn around a line appears on the next of the cutout and his cardboard head falls to the ground.

The sound of a slow clap rings out in the mess of a throne room. “I have to thank you for telling me that it wasn’t my turn earlier. Thanks to that I’m slowly figuring you out. If I want to do something when it’s your “turn” I can only perform a single reaction. When it’s my turn I can only do two or three things before it’s your turn again. That’s so very… structured. Organized. I detest it.”

Before I can even reply, all of the anti-gravity magic he applied to the objects in the room comes to an end and they start to fall back down towards us. Initially I think nothing of it, I can dodge this debris just as easily now as I could before. Then it hits me. Luna, Nightmare, and Celestia are here too. It probably won’t kill either of the alicorns and Nightmare is currently just a summon. But, even they would be a bit hurt if hundreds of pounds of weight piled on top of them.

Looking around in a panic as all of my spells run through my mind. I’m out of 5th and 6th level spells. What about the Mizzium? What spells can I cast with it?! I’m blanking, damnit! I watch as Celestia and Luna ignite their horns only for them to spark and blast confetti again.

There’s no time. I drop the Moonblade and the Staff onto the ground and thrust both my hands up into the air. I’ll just catch everything!

I’ll use the same concept I used when I pulled our camping supplies in the Undiscovered West when I first learned Telekinesis. My mana is hundreds of ropes, latch onto everything. Both hands glow bright silver and on instinct alone I launch hundreds of lines of mana through the air, sticking to every object in free fall.

My head hurts.

The weight is nothing compared to when I tried to stop Force, but the multitasking. It’s too many things at once. Move everything inwards, make it one big blob of objects instead of 80 or 90 separate objects.

It’s no good, I can’t move them, hell I can barely hold them. Just let them down slowly then, I can do that. Yeah I can do this.

I let out a sigh of relief as the objects gently start to come down from the air. Until I hear a pop in the air behind me. “Well well, since it looks like you’re a bit… tied up at the moment. That means I can tinker around with whatever this strange phenomenon is.”

“NO!” I hear Luna scream out and as I glance backwards to look at Discord with wide eyes, I feel it. A claw taps the back of my head, and my entire body goes stiff. Time stops.

“Oh that’s interesting. Hmm, I see, so that's how it works. What if I were to do….” He hums in thought as I can see his arms moving about wildly out of the corner of my eye. Then a searing pain lances out in my mind and I let out an involuntary scream.

-46 Hit Points: 36/82.

“...This. Oh that seems painful, here let me put that back. What if I do this instead?”

It feels like something cold is worming around in my head.

Wisdom Saving Throw

20 + 6 = 2—??

“That’s how it determines if something is successful? Oh I need to meet whoever designed this magic. That’s simply outstanding. I assume this 20 is good for you, yes?” For the first time in my life I feel a deep, primal, resonating fear as I watch his claw come into my field of view. He grabs the imaginary dice floating in my vision. And he turns it over to a 1.

1 + 6 = 7.

A strange feeling washes over me. Like everything around me is just dull and colorless, even my senses are dull.

System Failure.
System Failure. System Failure.
Syst- (A/N: This is the 1:57 part.)

My hit points and all of my buffed status messages disappear. My AC, my speed. The system is…gone?

This is the power of a true God? No wonder everything was a joke to him. He truly did nothing but play with us.

We never stood a chance.

Author's Note

Maybe I should've just downloaded the bladesong and re-uploaded it on a burner YT Channel and cut it so the song only had the first 1:57? Eh, that's a lot of work and it's not really a big deal.

Hopefully I did Discord justice? I've been dreading actually writing this character for a long time, but I think I managed to mostly keep his personality. I did tweak it a bit to fit the slightly darker and violent nature of my world vs canon though. I'm definitely really happy with his actions and magic though, that was a lot of fun to write.

Anyways, the next chapter might come out later tonight at the regular time. I'm feeling pretty motivated right now.

Thanks for reading! <3