Chapter Eighteen: Decline...

The days passed, and by high summer Black Snooty was mired in a deep malaise. At Evening Musk's suggestion, she had tried taking a greater role in the day to day governance of Equestria. However, no matter how many dissidents she tortured or how many rebellions she put down or how much terror she unleashed on the populace, nothing seemed to make her happy.

One afternoon, she sat glumly on her throne, hearing the latest petitions from her subjects.

"...and that's my petition, yer Highness."

Black Snooty sighed heavily.

"Very well," she said.

Applejack blinked.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. You can have a new plow for your farm."

"Well yah-hoo!" cried Applejack, smiling brightly. "I thank'ya kindly, yer Highness!"

"Yes, yes, think nothing of it," said the Queen absently. "Next petition, please."

A pair of frumpy, middle-aged unicorns, a mare and a stallion, stepped forward timidly.

"Uh, beggin' your pardon, your Majesty," began the stallion. "It sure is an honor to be in your presence, don'tcha know."

"Yes, yes," said Black Snooty morosely. "What is your petition?"

"Well, actually," began the stallion. "We were kinda wondrin' if...if...."

"...if we could please have our daughter back," finished his wife politely.

Black Snooty frowned.

"Your daughter?"

"Um, yes your Majesty. You've had our little Sweetie Belle down there in your dungeon for a few weeks now don'tcha know, and we were kinda wondrin' if maybe she's learned her lesson yet?"

Black Snooty felt her heart seize in her chest. She'd completely forgotten about the three fillies she'd locked in the dungeon.

"Er..." she began.

"Actually," chimed in Applejack. "I was gonna ask about that too. Uh, ya see, my lil' sister's down there in yer dungeon too, and, uh......"

The queen sighed.

"Too late, Applejack," she said. "You already asked for a plow."

"Oh," said Applejack. "Well, ya see yer Majesty, it's just that it's gettin' to be harvest season pretty soon, and we could shore use all the help we can get--"

"Sorry, Applejack, you'll have to come back next week," said the Queen. "Go talk to Night Soil at the front desk, he'll tell you where to pick up your plow."

A pair of guards moved in on either side of Applejack, and began to nudge her towards the door.

"Oh," she said again. "Well, uh, I thank ya kindly fer that plow, then, yer majesty. And uh, ya know, if ya get around to lettin' my sister outta the dungeon, I shore would appreciate it..."

"Yes yes, I heard you, come back next week," said Black Snooty.

The guards pushed Applejack out of the Hall, and the door swung shut behind her.

"Um, what about us then?" came a timid voice.

"Oh, er...what was your question again?"

"Um, our little Sweetie Belle, your Majesty. We were wondrin' if you could let her out of your little ol' dungeon there."

"Oh, right. Well, eh...I'd have to speak with my Minister about that..."

"Your Minister?" the mare looked confused. "Aren't you the Queen of Equestria then, your Majesty?"

"Well, yes, I am..."

"Then, well, wouldn't it be your decision who goes into the dungeon and who gets out?" asked the stallion.

"...er...well...I really don't keep very close track of that stuff, to be honest," Black Snooty stuttered. "It's mostly Evening Musk who handles all of that. I can...eh...look into it probably..."

She trailed off, looking away uncomfortably. There was a rather longish pause.

"So, eh, do you maybe have a time frame you could give us, your Majesty?" asked the stallion.

"If it's not too much of a bother," added his wife quickly. "It's just that, she really is a sweet little filly, and I'm sure she wasn't really tryin' to assasinate'cha or anything..."

Black Snooty cleared her throat.

"Um, yes. Come back next week; I should have an answer for you then."

She clapped her hooves quickly.

"Anyway, that's all the petitions we have time for today!" she called out. "The rest of you, come back next week!"

There was a general grumbling from the assembled ponies, and gradually the Hall began to empty. The two middle-aged unicorns glanced uncomfortably at each other, bowed, and left along with the rest of them.

The huge doors swung shut with a dull, monotonous boom, and Evening Musk emerged from the shadows.

"Well, your Majesty," he said pleasantly. "How did the day's petitions go?"

Black Snooty gave him a sour look.

"Did you know that those three fillies are still locked away in the dungeon?" she asked.

Musk looked taken aback.

"Well, yes, of course I knew..."

"And is there any possibility of letting them out?"

"Let them out? But...they haven't quite learned their lesson yet..."

"I see. And what lesson were they supposed to have learned?"

"Why...not to assassinate you, of course!"

"Ah. Yes. Of course. It had slipped my mind."

Instead of pressing the argument, the alicorn queen plodded glumly down the length of the Hall. Evening Musk trotted to catch up to her.

"Er, if your Majesty will forgive my impertinence," he said. "But it feels like you haven't quite been yourself lately?"

"Not myself?"

Black Snooty regarded him with a tired expression. What was wrong with her? She found she could barely even summon the energy to verbally abuse her Minister anymore.

Musk looked away, frowning. Then, he suddenly remembered something, and his face lit up.

"Ah! I know what would cheer your Majesty up! A hanging!"

"A hanging?"

"Yes! A good old-fashioned public hanging! You always used to love those!"

To his surprise, however, Black Snooty only sighed.

"Are we at least hanging somepony who deserves it this time?"

Musk's horn lit up, and he pulled a ledger book from a pocket in his robe.

"Er, let me see," he said, flipping through the pages. "Ah, yes. The prisoner is someone we've had in our dungeon for...some time now."

Snooty felt a small twinge of anxiety.

"You...don't say? Who is it?"

"Oh, a vile criminal, absolutely vile!" Musk assured her.

"And exactly what crime did this vile criminal commit?"

Musk squinted at the page.

"Hmm, ah yes. Here we are. It appears as if the prisoner assaulted two fillies earlier this year. It seems that he....hmm.....what? Oh, my, this is quite dreadful!"

Musk continued to read the ledger page, mumbling to himself.

"....he did what?!?" he exclaimed. "With a pineapple?!?"

He began to look a little green around the gills, and quickly slipped the ledger back into his robe.

"Er, well," he said quickly. "I'll spare your Majesty the lurid details. Suffice it to say that this scoundrel deserves absolutely no clemency. The prisoner's name is Magnet. Steven Magnet."

"Hmm," said Black Snooty. She felt the anxious knot in her stomach loosen. What had she been afraid of, exactly?

"At any rate, it appears they have the gallows all ready to go, your Majesty," Musk went on. "They're leading the prisoner there as we speak. Would you...like to attend?"

Black Snooty sighed heavily.

"Lead the way," she said.

The prisoner was a large sea serpent, so tall that a special gallows had been constructed solely for this occasion. It stood in the courtyard, nearly half as tall as the nearest tower. On the platform stood the condemned, the rope fastened about his neck.

"Oh please, please! I swear I didn't do it, oh please your Majesty, have mercy on me~~~!"

As Black Snooty made her way onto the observation platform that stood opposite the gallows, Steven Magnet was in the process of making an extremely loud and flamboyant plea for his life.

"Wow, that guy is really annoying!" she said aloud.

"Yes, he certainly is," agreed Evening Musk. "I assure your Majesty, he is among the worst criminals ever to have passed through our courts. The sooner we are rid of him, the better."

Musk nodded to the masked executioner, who took up a position next to the lever that would release the trapdoor. Then, he made his way to the podium and spoke in a booming voice:

"Steven Magnet! You have been accused of the murders of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and were found guilty in a court of law! In the name of her Majesty Black Snooty, née Nightmare Moon, Queen of All Equestria and Some of the Lands Beyond Probably, the court has sentenced you to be hanged by the neck until dead! Do you have any last requests before the sentence is passed?!"

"Oooooh~~~!" cried Steven Magnet, weeping hysterically. "My mustache!! Won't somepony please comb my mustache~~! I can't bear to die with my mustache in such a frightful state~~~~!!!"

Musk rolled his eyes.

"Will somepony please comb the prisoner's mustache?" he asked.

One of the unicorn jailers stepped forward, levitating a large comb. When the deed was done, Musk stepped back from the podium.

"Would your Majesty like to do the honors?" he whispered.

For some reason, Black Snooty hesitated. It was true, as Musk had said, that she did so love a good hanging, and yet...something about this scene bothered her.

What was it this guy did again? she asked herself. Murdered...Diamond Tiara and...Silver Spoon?

The names sounded vaguely familiar to her, but she couldn't place where she had heard them. Meanwhile, everypony was looking at her. She had to do something.

"Steven Magnet!" she boomed, in the most royal voice she could muster. "I now command that you.....that you be........"

She trailed off. An uncomfortable silence descended on the assembled crowd. She stood on the podium, staring into the tear-filled eyes of the sea serpent. She sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry, everypony," she boomed. "But...I'm just not in the mood for this today!"

She sighed heavily again.

"The prisoner is free to go," she proclaimed.

Steven Magnet let out an ecstatic cry. Meanwhile, a discontented murmur ran through the crowd.

"Your Majesty!" hissed Evening Musk. "What in Equestria are you doing?!?"

"Something I should have done a long time ago!" she snapped. "We've had more than enough public executions in this country! Why can't we do something fun for a change?"

"Fun?!" demanded Musk incredulously.

"Yes, fun. You know, like a pinata party, or a sleepover!"

"A...a sleepover?!?"

"Yes! A huge sleepover at the castle, for everypony in Equestria! We could give each other makeovers, and tell ghost stories..."

She turned away from the podium, already getting excited about the prospect of a national sleepover. Evening Musk trotted quickly after her.

"Your Highness!" he cried. "I fear that you do not comprehend the gravity of what you are doing!"

She shot him an irritated glance.

"What do you mean?" she demanded.

"Your Majesty, Diamond Tiara's father is one of the highest-ranking members in the Order of the New Moon! This...this verdict of yours is a grievous insult to one of your most loyal supporters! A supporter with powerful friends! Filthy Rich...he needs to see justice done!"

Black Snooty sighed.

"Very well," she said.

She ascended the podium once more. The guards had removed the noose from Steven Magnet's neck, but he was still standing on the gallows.

"Steven Magnet!" cried the Queen.

Once again, silence fell over the courtyard. The prisoner looked fearfully towards her.

"Steven Magnet," the Queen began again. "Your life has been spared. But I cannot allow you to walk away unpunished. For you have committed foal murder, one of the most heinous of crimes! And for that, I sentence you to...I sentence you...to..."

Several seconds of awkward silence ensued as Black Snooty tried to think up an appropriate sentence. Her mind raced. Then, all of a sudden, it came to her.

"Guards!" she cried. "Shave off his stupid mustache!"

There was a loud, effeminate shriek, followed by a boom as the sea serpent fainted, destroying the gallows with his ponderous bulk.

"Oh, this is not good, this is NOT good!!"

Evening Musk paced back and forth, his muttering voice echoing forlornly in the empty Hall.

"There's nothing to be done about it now," he muttered. "I'll have to smooth things over with him somehow! Perhaps if I offered him the Chancellorship..."

Black Snooty sat on her throne, watching him with an irritated expression.

"Oh, what's eating you now, Musk?" she demanded.

Musk glared at her.

"Your Majesty," he began, struggling to keep his voice calm. "I don't think you fully comprehend what you have just done."

"What do you mean? Is this about the National Sleepover? I mean, I suppose with our finances in such a state it will be hard to supply snacks and libations for the entire population of Equestria, but surely the Bank of Griffonstone will give us another loan--"

"Oh, will you forget about that silly sleepover!" cried Musk in exasperation. "This is serious!!"

Black Snooty's eyes narrowed.

"Are you suggesting," she said coldly, "That the National Sleepover is not a serious matter?"

Musk simply stared at her in disbelief.

"Your Majesty," he began. "Perhaps I didn't make this clear earlier. As you may have noticed, the political situation in Equestria is rather precarious at present, and--"

"Oh, is this going to be another of your tedious political lectures?" groaned Snooty.

"Yes!" snapped Musk. "And for once, you're going to listen to it! Your entire reign hangs in the balance, my Queen!"

"My reign?" asked Snooty. She frowned. "Are...ponies not...happy with me as their Queen?"

"Happy?!? You're asking if they're not happy?!? No, they're not bloody well happy! Haven't you wondered what all of those rebellions and assassination plots have been about?"

"Oh yes, now that you mention it, I was beginning to wonder about that..."

Musk buried his head in his hooves. He took a deep breath.

"Your Majesty, let me explain the current situation to you. Equestria is financially insolvent. We no longer have any coin left to pay our expenses. Basic public services that ponies take for granted are no longer able to be funded, and taxes cannot be raised any further. The citizens were already in an uproar over your various new laws and forced labor programs, and now they are perfectly livid.

"Naturally, I had planned for such contingencies when we took over, and I could have easily handled it if it was just the commoners we had to worry about. However, with all of your Majesty's summary executions, we've had a great deal of difficulty filling cabinet positions. Nopony wants to work for you anymore! Even the Order has begun to turn against you!

"And the largest and most powerful faction within the Order, the one that is most dissatisfied with your rule, is the faction headed by Filthy Rich! We need his support now more than ever, and you just slapped him in the face!!"

"I did?" Black Snooty frowned. "I don't remember slapping him in the face."

She furrowed her brow, trying to remember.

"Now let's see, who did I slap today...?"

Evening Musk groaned and raked his hooves through his mane in frustration.

"You didn't literally slap him, although you may just as well have!"

Black Snooty raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"I'm...afraid I don't follow you."

Musk groaned again.

"Steven Magnet murdered his daughter!" he cried.

"Did he?"

Black Snooty furrowed her brow. Sometimes, when she tried to remember certain things, her mind would seem to fill with static, and she couldn't think straight.

Musk sighed heavily and shook his head.

"I have no idea if he really did or not," he admitted. "But Filthy Rich believes he did, and that's all that matters. And you just set him free! That sea serpent was one of the most notorious foal murderers in Equestria, and you let him off with...with having his mustache shaved! Meanwhile, just this morning, you executed your Secretary of the Interior because he brought you the wrong kind of biscuit for breakfast! And serving you breakfast wasn't even supposed to be his job!"

"Well, whose job is it then?"

"It was the job of the last pony you summarily executed!!"

"Oh, right. That makes sense."

"Your Majesty, don't you understand?" cried Musk in exasperation. "Your rule is hanging by a thread, and this incident could very well be the last straw! If we don't placate Filthy Rich somehow, he's going to lead a revolt!"

Black Snooty clenched her eyes shut. The static in her mind was making her head throb, and Evening Musk's shrill voice was only making it worse.

"Oh, just...send him a muffin basket or something!" she cried.

Musk was incredulous.

"A muffin basket? A MUFFIN BASKET?!?" he stomped his hoof angrily. "We don't even have money in the treasury for a muffin basket!!"

Black Snooty rubbed her fetlocks against her temples.

"Oh, will you please just give it a rest?!?" she snapped finally. "I'm so tired."

However, instead of backing down as she'd expected him to, Musk turned and glared at her.

"Give it a rest?" he demanded incredulously. "Give it a rest?!?"

"Yes!" she cried. "It's your job to deal with all of this silly minutia, so just deal with it! I'm tired, and I want to rest!"

Evening Musk threw back the hood of his robe and stomped angrily towards his Queen.

"Now you listen to me, 'Black Snooty!'" he snarled angrily. "Do you have any idea what I've suffered for you? The sacrifices I've made over the years? The throats I've had to cut? The pacts I've had to make? The indignities I've suffered?!?"

"What in Equestria are you blathering about all of a sudden?" cried Black Snooty, rather alarmed by this uncharacteristic outburst.

"What am I blathering about?!? I'll tell you what I'm blathering about!!!

"I founded the Order of the New Moon! This intricate web of spies and deception and intrigue, running beneath the underbelly of Canterlot, I orchestrated the whole thing! I sacrificed! I bled!! And do you know why? It was all for you!!! To restore the rightful Queen of Equestria to her throne!!"

He spat.

"All for the glorious return of Nightmare Moon!" he snarled bitterly.

"I keep telling you, I'm NOT Nightmare Moon!" cried Black Snooty.

"Oh, I know that all too well! The real Nightmare Moon knew how to rule a kingdom! She would have put down any dissent in the ranks of her court, and ruled with an iron hoof!

"She would never have tolerated rebellious mutterings among her supporters! If Filthy Rich had risen against her, she would have squashed him like an insect, not...not sent him a muffin basket!

"The real Nightmare Moon would never have allowed herself to be swayed by feelings of pity or remorse or compassion! The real Nightmare Moon would have hanged that stupid Magnet guy whether he was really a murderer or not! The real Nightmare Moon would have killed Twilight Spar--GAAAAAAAAAAAK!!"

Evening Musk's neck suddenly snapped. The crack reverberated mournfully off the marble walls of the chamber. Black Snooty tossed his lifeless corpse onto the pile in the corner. She plopped down onto her throne and tapped her hooves against the floor, listening to the echo. She stared out into the emptiness of the Great Hall and sighed.

Now, she was truly alone.