Chapter Six: Friendship is Trickier Than it Looks

The bell rang, and all the little fillies and colts trotted outside for recess.

So far, Pyx was surprised to discover that she enjoyed school, especially history. She'd really liked the part of Miss Cheerilee's lecture about the evil pegasus queen who had murdered thousands of earth ponies and tried to take over Equestria. She wondered briefly what it might be like to be an evil queen; it sounded like a fun job! A few days ago at breakfast, Mommy Twilight had asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, but she hadn't known how to respond at the time.

She was a little perplexed by the concept of recess, but once she'd gotten into the groove she discovered she enjoyed that too. Thus far, her life had mostly been spent in a series of rooms and basements, with the outside world existing as an ethereal dimension of which she only caught brief glimpses while traveling. However, as soon as she started romping about in the sunshine, she realized that it was actually a lot of fun out there! The grass, the sky, the air, the birds, the butterflies--all of it was brand new and full of wonder!

Suddenly, a glob of mud hit her in the face. Everything went dark for a second, and then she remembered that she could cast a lot of complicated spells for some reason. Her horn flashed, and the glob of mud vanished into the cornfield, though her glasses were still a bit smudged.

"Ooops, sorry about that~~!"

The mocking voice came from off to the side and a short distance away, and it was followed by a burst of laughter from two fillies. Pyx turned to see the filly who sat next to her in class, the one called Diamond Tiara, along with another filly whose name she didn't know yet. The newcomer had a silver mane and tail, and she wore glasses, just like her.

"Remember, Pyx," said Mommy Twilight's voice in her head. "You're here to make friends!"

I won't let you down, Mommy! Pyx thought to herself. I'll make friends even if I have to murder everypony in Equestria!

"Oh, that's okay!" she said aloud. "I'm sure you didn't mean it! Nipah~~!"

Diamond Tiara's front hoof swiped at the mud in front of her in a graceful arc, and another glob hit Pyx in the face.

"Sorry about that one, too~~!" said Diamond Tiara. The two fillies laughed again.

"That one actually felt like less of an accident," Pyx said. Once again, she was able to teleport most of the mud away, but a bit of it was still smudged on her face and glasses.

"You know, I think she's right, Diamond Tiara!" the gray filly said. "You really should be more careful!"

"You're absolutely right, Silver Spoon," Tiara said. "I'm just sooooo clumsy today! Whoops!"

Her hoof swiped at the mud a third time, and Pyx had to teleport another glob off of her face.

"Maybe if you tell me where you're trying to aim the mud, I can help direct it!" offered Pyx. "You seem to be having a lot of trouble calculating the trajectory! Tutturu~~!"

PLURP. Another glob of mud hit Pyx in the face.

"Well, that time I was aiming for your stupid, ugly vest!" said Diamond Tiara. "So you're right, my aim is terrible!"

They laughed.

"Where did you get that vest, anyway?" asked Silver Spoon. "Did you take it off of somepony's pet dog?"

"My vest?" said Pyx. "Oh, I got it at Rarity's Carousel Boutique, located in the heart of--DRGRGRRRLRRLMPHH!!"

A glob of mud hit her square in the mouth while she was talking.

Making friends is trickier than it looks, thought Pyx.

"...and tho the docktor thaid I wathn't ackshually haffing my period, I jutht need to thtop putting my hoof tho far up there," finished Twist.

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo exchanged a long, uncomfortable look, and in that moment an unspoken decision was made.

"Uh, Twist?" said Scootaloo.

"Yeth, Thcootaloo?"

The three fillies regarded the prospect member of their club, who was staring back at them politely. She was a pale cream-colored filly, with a curly red mop for a mane and a pair of peppermint sticks for a cutie mark. The sunlight caught in the lenses of her thick glasses, which made the others squint.

"Um, here's the thing..." began Scootaloo. The little orange pegasus looked to her friends for help.

"We've been doing a lot of thinking," continued Sweetie Belle. "And we've decided that...uh..."

"We've decided that you're just not Crusader material," finished Apple Bloom.

"Yeah," said Scootaloo. "We're sorry, but you're out of the club."

Twist looked back and forth from one filly to the next. They all looked a little uncomfortable, and none of them would meet her gaze.

"Any particular reathon?" she asked finally.

A small amount of spittle flew out of her mouth every time she lisped. Sweetie Belle lifted a hoof to shield herself from the spray, an annoyed expression on her face. Scootaloo glanced sympathetically in her direction, and then returned her attention to Twist.

"Honestly?" said Scoot. "There are a lot of reasons."

The other two nodded in agreement.

"Thutch ath?"

"Well, for one thing," began Apple Bloom, "All of your stories are...kinda gross."

"Yeah," said Sweetie Belle. "Also, you spit when you talk."

"And your breath...kind of smells like kitty litter," added Scootaloo. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nodded vigorously.

"My Dad thayth that too," said Twist. She breathed lightly into her hoof and sniffed, frowning.

The three senior Crusaders exchanged another look.

"And anyway," offered Apple Bloom, "You already have your cutie mark. Not much point in bein' a Cutie Mark Crusader if you've already got a mark."

"I gueth that maketh thenth," admitted Twist.

"So anyway..." began Scootaloo.

"...we've been thinking that..." continued Sweetie Belle.

"......it's probably best for everypony if you don't hang around with us anymore." finished Apple Bloom. The other two nodded.

"Yeah, it's nothing personal," began Scootaloo. "It's just that..."

"...you're kind of..." continued Sweetie Belle.

"...a terrible character...so to speak," finished Apple Bloom.

The three of them nodded in agreement again.

Twist rubbed a hoof underneath her chin and looked off into the distance, lost in thought. Her nose whistled every time she breathed, and Sweetie Belle noted with disgust that a small bubble kept expanding and contracting around one of her nostrils.

"...that'th...pretty much what my Dad thaid too," said Twist eventually. "Word for word, ackshually. Well, I thuppoth it can't be helpt."

"Well all right then!" said Apple Bloom, smiling brightly. "Thanks for bein' so understandin' about it, Twist!"

"Oh, that'th okay," said Twist. "It wuth fun beink your fourfth Cruthader for awhile! I'm sure I'll find another group of friendth!"

"Best of luck to you!" said Sweetie Belle.

"Let us know if you need any references!" said Scootaloo.

"I will. Thankth, you guyth!"

Twist waved pleasantly to them as she trotted away.

"Welp, that's that," said Apple Bloom. "That wasn't so bad! Just like rippin' a band-aid off!"

"Yeah," said Sweetie Belle. "Only now we need to find another prospect."

"Why?" asked Apple Bloom.

"Don't you think we ought to try and recruit some new members?"

"I dunno, I think we actually work pretty well as a trio..."

"How about her?" Scootaloo interjected suddenly. The others looked at where she was pointing.

"Oh, the new foal?" asked Apple Bloom. "What was her name again?"

"Mary-something, I think," replied Sweetie Belle.

"No," said Scootaloo, "It's Pyx. Pyx Trebuchet."

"Oh yeah," said Apple Bloom. "How could I forget a name like that?"

She followed Scoot's gaze to the other end of the schoolyard, where the little black and green filly was facing off against the school's two most prominent bullies.

"So what do you think?" asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle shrugged.

"I really like her...racing stripe?"

Apple Bloom rubbed her chinny chin chin.

"The racing stripe is kinda cool," she admitted. "And she is a blank flank like us. Do you really think she'd make a good Crusader, Scootaloo?"

Scoot shrugged.

"I dunno," she said. "But Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon have been throwing mud at her for like ten solid minutes, and she hasn't done anything back yet. She seems like she'd be pretty easy to get along with."

"Hmm, that's a good point!" said Apple Bloom. "And besides, it's not like she's Nightmare Moon or anythin'! What do you think, Sweetie Belle?"

Sweetie Belle shrugged.

"I really like her.........racing stripe?"

"Then it's settled!" said Apple Bloom, stomping her front hoof triumphantly. "Pyx Trebuchet is the newest prospect member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!"

The three of them raised their front hooves in salute.

Later that afternoon, a still-somewhat-mud-caked Pyx followed the directions she'd been given, and found herself at an apple orchard on a large farm. She looked upwards and saw a bunch of rickety wooden steps leading up to a small treehouse.

"Come on up, Pyx!" called out a familiar voice.

Pyx hesitated, not quite liking the look of those stairs. However, Mommy Twilight's voice once again spoke in the back of her mind:

Kill them all, Pyx!

Wait, that wasn't right.

Try and make friends, Pyx!

There we go.

Pyx took a deep breath, put on her bestest, brightest smile, and ascended to the treehouse.

Inside, she found the three fillies who had approached her after class and invited her here. All three of them were blank flanks, just like she was. At a table at the far end of the little room stood a bright yellow earth pony with a bright red mane. To her right was a white unicorn with a fluffy, curled pink and white mane; to the left was a scrappy-looking orange pegasus with a short-cropped purple mane and stunted wings.

"Hi, Pyx! Thanks for comin'!" said the earth pony, the one who had called to her from outside. "I'm Apple Bloom, and this here's Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo!"

She pointed to the other two, both of whom smiled and waved to her.

"Nipaaaaaaaah~~!" said Pyx, beaming.

This was followed by several seconds of awkward silence. The three Crusaders began to shuffle their hooves uncomfortably. Not knowing what else to do, Pyx just stood there smiling.

You're losing them, Pyx! Mommy Twilight's voice whispered urgently in her head.

Oh no! What do I do, Mommy?

Say something else, quick! You don't want them to think you're a retard, do you?

"Tutturuuuuuuuu~~!" she added.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo glanced uncomfortably at each other.

"So, uh, how do you like our clubhouse?" said Apple Bloom quickly.

"Oh, it's great!" said Pyx. "Did you build it yourselves?"

Good job, Pyx! said Mommy Twilight's voice. That was a perfectly normal question to ask!

The other three fillies seemed to relax a little.

"Nah, it was my sister's from when she was a filly," said Apple Bloom.

"We did fix it up, though," added Scootaloo.

"Yeah, it was pretty beat up when she gave it to us," agreed Apple Bloom.

"I made the curtains," said Sweetie Belle proudly. "I got the fabric from my sister."

Scootaloo rolled her eyes.

"You met Rarity, right?" asked Apple Bloom.

Pyx nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes! She made my vest and my headband, and gave me these cooooooooool glasses! Oh, and she wanted me to say that if you are looking for the hottest new fashions at rock bottom prices, you should come on down to Rarity's Carousel Boutique, located at--"

The three fillies suddenly burst out laughing. Pyx looked alarmed.

"Oh no! Did I say something weird again?" she asked.

"What? Oh, no; it's not you we're laughin' at," Apple Bloom assured her. "It's just that Sweetie Belle's sister tells everypony to say that."

"Yeah, you don't have to actually go around town plugging her store for her," said Scootaloo.

"Not unless she's paying you," added Sweetie Belle.

Pyx thought about it for a second.

"Nope, I don't think she's paying me!" she said.

"Well, then you should let Rarity do her own advertising from now on," advised Sweetie Belle, still giggling. Her face straightened after a moment. "I'm awful sorry about what happened to your vest, though."

The other two nodded sympathetically.

For a moment Pyx wasn't sure what they were talking about. Then, she glanced down at her vest and saw that it was still stained with mud from earlier.

"Oh, that's okay!" she said, smiling brightly. "I'm sure Mommy can get it cleaned up! Anyway, Mommy told me I should try to make friends with as many ponies as I can! I didn't know making friends was going to get my vest so dirty, but if that's what it takes, then I don't mind! Nipaaaaah~~!"

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exchanged a concerned look.

"Uhhh....." ventured Scootaloo. "You do know that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon weren't trying to be your friends, right?"

Pyx looked surprised.

"They weren't?"

They all shook their heads. Together, the three crusaders explained the concept of a bully to Pyx. Pyx furrowed her brow.

"Oh, dear," she said. "Oh no, that won't do! That won't do at all! What should I do about it?"

Kill them all, Pyx! that voice in the back of her head whispered.

The three crusaders looked at each other again.

"Um, well, there's not really much you can do, unfortunately," said Scootaloo.

"You can tell them to stop," offered Sweetie Belle. "And if they don't, just tell the teacher on them."

Apple Bloom nodded sagely.

"Yep, that's pretty much all you can do about a bully," she said. "But I wouldn't take Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon too seriously. As far as bullies go, they're pretty tame."

"Yeah, they're like that to everypony," said Scootaloo.

"My sister says they're gonna get what's comin' to 'em sooner or later anyway," Apple Bloom went on. "She said that Diamond Tiara was probably gonna grow up to be a 'town bicycle'. I'm not really sure what that means, but Applejack told me not to worry about it. She said Tiara'll just 'trot around' for a few years until she's all used up, and then she'll marry somepony rich and borin', and probably 'foal around' on him with her tennis instructor. I'm not really sure what all that means either, but the way she explained it, it didn't sound very nice!"

Sweetie Belle nodded.

"Rarity pretty much told me the same thing about Silver Spoon," she said. "She called the Spoon family 'new-vow reesh' or something like that. She said that Silver Spoon just rides Diamond Tiara's...pigtails? Coat tails? Something like that I think?"

She looked to Scootaloo for confirmation, who only shrugged.

"Anyway," continued Sweetie, "She says that Silver'll probably drop out of college and move to Applewood to become an actress or something. Only she won't make it, and she'll just end up doing porn."

"What does that mean?" asked Apple Bloom. Sweetie Belle shrugged.

"Beats me," she said. "I think it's some kind of government job. My mom used to do it I think, I remember I overheard my parents talking about it once."

Pyx thought about all of this. She hadn't minded being hit in the face with mud when she thought it was a way of making friends, but now that she knew it wasn't, it was starting to make her mad. However, she decided to put the thought away for the time being. These three ponies seemed much nicer, so what was the point in dwelling on Tiara and Spoon?

"Nipaaaaaah~~!" she said out loud suddenly.

The three crusaders blinked.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you," said Scootaloo. "What exactly does 'nipah' mean, anyway?"

Pyx thought about it for a second. She wasn't exactly sure. Still, she didn't want to appear stupid in front of her new friends, so she said the most sensible thing she could think of:

"Nipah means tutturu~~!"

"...so what does 'tutturu' mean?"

"Nipah~~!"

The three of them looked at each other. Apple Bloom shrugged.

"Well, uh...nee-pah then!" she said.

"Nipaaah~~!" said Scootaloo.

"Tutturu~~!" said Sweetie Belle.

Then all four of them burst out laughing.