Chapter Seven: Obviously, Fluttershy Isn't Cool

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Surprised, Twilight Sparkle looked up from the book she was reading.

"It's a public library, you don't have to knock on the door!" she called.

"Oh, sorry," came a voice from the other side. "We weren't sure, it kind of looks like it could be a house too."

The door opened, and two young fillies stepped into the main room. Twilight squinted at them. Her vision was a little blurry from the wine she was drinking, but she thought she recognized them from Pyx's class.

"Is Pyx home?" one of them asked.

"Oh, sure," said Twilight. "She's upstairs doing homework I think. PYX! SOME FRIENDS OF YOURS ARE HERE!!"

There was a brief scuffling on the landing above, and then Pyx trotted hurriedly downstairs. She stopped short when she saw who the visitors were.

"Hey, Pyx," said Diamond Tiara. She and Silver Spoon were standing in the doorway, smiling sweetly. "We were heading down to Sugar Cube Corner, and we came over to see if you wanted to join us."

Twilight smiled brightly and took another sip of wine.

"Well, isn't that nice!"

Pyx had been going to school now for a couple of weeks, and Twilight had been pleased to learn that she'd already made some friends. This was the first time any of them had come over to the library, however. At least, this was the first time they had done so when she was conscious.

"Um, I don't know desu..." said Pyx, hesitating. "I have a lot of homework I need to finish..."

"Oh, nonsense!" said Twilight, nudging her towards the door. "You go and have fun with your friends! I'll finish your homework for you!"

"Um, I really ought to start doing it myself desu," said Pyx. She dug her hooves into the floor, trying to push back. "That last book report you wrote for me was just a bunch of stuff about how much you love Pone's Farm and somepony named Flash Sentry. The only reason I didn't get in trouble was because Miss Cheerilee couldn't read your horn-writing desu."

Silver Spoon snickered at that. Diamond Tiara gave her a light kick.

"Oh, don't worry about it!" said Twilight. "If you don't want me to write it, I'll just have Spike do it. Anyway, you three have fun. Just make sure you're back in time for dinner!"

Before she could protest any further, Twilight nudged Pyx all the way out the door and shut it behind her.

Good for Pyx, thought Twilight as she poured herself another glass of Pone's Farm. I'm glad she's making friends.

"...so then I told him I'd tell his wife and foals about us if he didn't pay me a thousand bits on the spot," said Diamond Tiara.

Silver Spoon laughed out loud.

"Did he even have a thousand bits?"

"He did, and he paid me, but it was, like, his entire savings account. His family had to call off their trip to Whinnyapolis."

"Wow, what a loser!"

Both of them laughed.

Pyx sipped her double-fudge mocha-chip banana-cream brownie-batter vanilla-bean toffee-apple caramelized coconut-sprinkled cream-filled fallopian-fruit-fritter milkshake, watching the two of them suspiciously.

Her friends had assured her that these two were bullies, and thus far her experiences with them had been along that line. Over the past two weeks, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had thrown mud at her, pushed her down three flights of stairs, dropped a hive of bees on her head, framed her for shoplifting on two occasions, and forced her to eat a pine cone. She wasn't sure why they were being so nice to her today, but there sure was something suspicious about it.

"Who are you talking about?" Pyx asked Diamond Tiara.

"Huh? Oh, just this old stallion who works at my Dad's country club. I let him feel me up a couple of times and then made him pay me to keep quiet about it."

"Was he the one from the country club?" asked Silver Spoon. "I thought it was the guy from the saddle store who had the wife and foals."

"No, that guy was the one who killed himself because he didn't have enough money and I said I'd rat him out to the horse police."

"Oh, yeah! That's right."

"Honestly they were all pretty much the same, I can't blame you for getting them mixed up."

The two of them laughed again.

"What did you do with the thousand bits desu?" asked Pyx.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. I've actually still got it in my saddlebag."

She lifted the flap of her bag to show her. There was a fat pouch inside, and through the slightly open neck Pyx could see the glitter of golden coins.

"What are you going to spend it on?" asked Pyx.

"Huh?" said Tiara absently. "Oh, I don't know; probably nothing. I didn't really need the bits or anything, it was all just for fun."

"Oh."

Pyx took another sip of her milkshake and considered this. What Diamond Tiara had done to the stallion didn't sound like very much fun at all, at least not for him; it actually sounded kind of mean. On the other hoof, though, she could see how having a thousand bits could be helpful. Mommy Twilight was always getting mad and complaining that she didn't have enough bits. That would always make Spike-onii-chan get mad too, saying that if she didn't spend so much on happy-juice she would have more. If Mommy Twilight had a lot of bits like Diamond Tiara did, she could have all the happy-juice she wanted, and Spike-onii-chan wouldn't have to be mad anymore.

"Haven't you ever done anything like that, Pyx?" asked Silver Spoon.

Pyx shook her head.

"You should try it, it's fun!" said Diamond Tiara.

Pyx wasn't sure, but she had to admit that having a thousand bits sounded pretty fun at least. Mommy Twilight would be so happy with her if she brought that much money home.

"So what else do you guys like to do that's fun?" Pyx asked.

"Oh, just rich filly stuff," said Tiara.

"Rich filly stuff?"

"Yeah," said Spoon. "Like, this one time, we had Tiara's dad take us to the orphanage in Canterlot so we could adopt two colts and make them fight to the death."

"And this other time," said Tiara, "We went down to the Ponyville slums and paid a homeless guy to dance for us while we threw firecrackers at him!"

"Yeah!" said Spoon. "That was hilarious! Oh, and this other time, we pushed some stupid filly down the stairs, and made her eat a pine cone!"

The two of them burst out laughing.

"Uh, that was me desu." said Pyx.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that."

They both grinned sheepishly.

"Seriously, though, Pyx," began Diamond Tiara. "We're sorry we've been so mean to you!"

"Yeah," Silver Spoon chimed in. "We, like, really think you're cool, and we'd totally like it if you'd be our friend from now on!"

"That's what you said before you made me eat the pine cone," said Pyx.

"Yeah, but this time we mean it!" said Diamond Tiara.

Pyx thought about this. She really didn't want to eat any more pine cones if she could avoid it, but on the other hoof, if they meant it this time she probably wouldn't have to. On top of that, she'd have two additional friends to add to the three she already had. Mommy Twilight always said that the more friends you have, the better.

"Anyway," Tiara went on, "We'd really like it if you'd join our club."

"You guys have a club desu?"

"Yeah," said Spoon. "It's called the Rich Fillies Club. Only cool rich fillies are allowed to join."

"Right," agreed Tiara, nodding. "And you know, like, all that mean stuff we've been doing to you? We weren't, like, doing it to be mean or anything. It was just part of our club's initiation."

"Yeah," said Spoon. "We had to make sure you were cool enough to get in."

"Hmmmm desu........."

Pyx mused on their proposal while sipping on her milkshake.

"So you guys really think I'm cool enough to join desu?"

Diamond Tiara stifled a giggle.

"Oh, absolutely," said Silver Spoon. "You passed all of our tests with flying colors. We think you're totally cool, Pyx."

"But I thought you said it was called the Rich Fillies Club," said Pyx. "I'm not rich, or at least I don't think I am desu..."

This time they both had to stifle a giggle. Fortunately, Pyx was staring off into the distance and stroking her chin, so she didn't notice.

"...on the other hoof," Pyx went on, "If I had a thousand bits I'd be pretty rich."

Silver Spoon couldn't hold it in anymore, and burst into a hysterical fit of laughter.

"What's so funny?" asked Pyx.

"Oh, don't worry about her," assured Diamond Tiara quickly. "She's just thinking about something funny that happened at school yesterday. Anyway, yeah, if you had a thousand bits, you'd totally be rich, just like us! We can help you make a thousand bits, no problem!"

"By helping me seduce a homeless guy desu?"

"A homeless guy probably isn't going to have a thousand bits," said Spoon.

"But we can help you seduce somepony who does," added Tiara.

"So what do you think?" said Spoon. "Are you ready to join our club?"

"We just have one more test you have to pass," said Tiara, "After that, you're in!"

Pyx thought about it. She'd had a pretty bad run with these two so far, but maybe her luck was about to change. Also, a thousand bits was a lot of money. What would Mommy Twilight want her to do?

KILL THEM ALL, PYX! said Mommy Twilight's voice in her head. I MEAN, MAKE AS MANY FRIENDS AS YOU CAN, PYX!

Well, that decided it.

Pyx gave the two fillies her biggest, brightest smile and nodded enthusiastically.

"Nipah desu~~!" she said.

The town proper ended at the river, and as soon as they crossed the bridge the houses became much fewer and farther between. The road wound through the grassy countryside, the dark mass of trees on the horizon growing closer and closer.

"The last test is going to be at our clubhouse," Diamond Tiara explained.

"Your clubhouse is in the Everfree Forest?"

"Yeah," said Silver Spoon. "We don't want anypony in town to find out where the coolest club in Ponyville meets up. Otherwise they'd all try to get in, and it wouldn't be cool anymore. So we put our clubhouse in the one place they'd never look."

Pyx thought about it. Anypony cool enough to be in the cool ponies club wouldn't want uncool ponies hanging around their clubhouse, so that part checked out. She was still a bit suspicious of these two, but so far she couldn't find any holes in their logic.

The road turned steeply upward, crested a hill, and soon the three fillies arrived at a sod-roofed cottage, separated from the main road by a hoofbridge that ran over a small creek. A familiar pegasus was outside, fussing over some ducks near the water.

"Oh, hi Pyx," she said when she noticed the fillies approaching.

"Konnichiwa~~!" said Pyx cheerfully. She recognized the pegasus as one of Twilight's friends. Fluttershy, that was her name.

"Um, are you three here to adopt some animals?" Fluttershy asked hopefully. "Because I have a wide variety of pets in stock! Oh, I have so many bunnies, and kitties, and a nest of brand new baby birdies just hatched--"

"Um, that's okay, Miss Fluttershy," said Diamond Tiara quickly, cutting her off. "We actually can't stop right now."

Fluttershy looked concerned.

"Um, if you're not here to see me, where are you fillies going, if you don't mind my asking?"

Pyx smiled brightly.

"We're going to our super secret clubhouse in the Everfree Forest! Tutturu~~!"

She felt a hoof digging sharply into her foreleg, and turned to see Diamond Tiara glaring at her.

"Don't tell Fluttershy about it!!" she hissed.

Pyx was confused for a moment, but then she realized what a grievous faux pas she'd just committed. Fluttershy wasn't cool, so obviously the location of the clubhouse had to be kept secret from her. She had to fix this quickly. She cleared her throat, and said:

"Never mind what I just said! We are actually going to the Everfree Forest for a reason that has nothing to do with clubhouses! Nipah~~!"

Silver Spoon grimaced. Diamond Tiara had veins popping out on her forehead, but she made an attempt to smile.

"Oh, dear," said Fluttershy, looking a little concerned. "The Everfree Forest is no place for young fillies! You really should find a different place for your clubhouse."

"That's okay!" said Pyx. "We don't actually have a clubhouse! And we're not going into the Everfree Forest at all desu~~!"

And with that, she began to trot off down the road, in the direction of the Everfree Forest.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon stood there a moment longer, beads of sweat breaking out on their foreheads and big nervous smiles plastered across their faces.

"Uhh...yeah, what she said," Silver Spoon stuttered.

"Anyway, we'll be going now," said Diamond Tiara.

"Bye, Miss Fluttershy!" they said in unison, and then in a flash they galloped away, in the same direction that Pyx had gone.

"Oh dear..." said Fluttershy, as she stood at the edge of her bridge, watching the three fillies running off towards the dark, gloomy forest. "Oh, dear..."