Chapter Eight: The Everfree Forest is a Great Place to Hide a Body

"Why did you tell her where we were going, stupid?!?" Diamond Tiara demanded angrily.

"Yeah, that was very uncool," snapped Silver Spoon.

Pyx hung her head, staring at the road in front of her as she walked. The forest had seemed to swallow them up as soon as they'd entered. All around them were huge, thick, gnarled trees, their branches spread out above them like claws. The late afternoon light was now filtered by a thick canopy of dark green leaves, which gave it an eerie quality. Pyx found it uncomfortably stuffy and dark in here, and her current worries added to the atmosphere of gloom.

Obviously, this was a big, big problem! If Fluttershy learned the location of the secret clubhouse, she might show up and try to join. She'd probably bring a bunch of animals with her, too, and they might try to join as well. It would be bad enough having an uncool and probably destitute pony like Fluttershy trying to join the Rich Fillies Club; imagine what would happen if a bunch of ducks and bunnies and ferrets and whatnot started applying for membership too? At that point, you might as well just throw all standards out the window and open the whole thing up to the general public. This was a big, big problem; no wonder her new friends were mad at her.

You need to fix this! Mommy Twilight's voice hissed in her mind. Kill them all, Pyx!

Pyx stopped suddenly.

"Gomen nasai desu!" she cried, bowing low so that her horn almost touched the ground. "I didn't mean to let Fluttershy find out where the clubhouse is! But, um, I had an idea desu! What if we moved the clubhouse so she can't find it? Then, when she comes looking for it, with all of her uncool animal friends, trying to join the club, she won't be able to find it desu! That way, we can still have the Rich Fillies Club, but we don't have to hurt Fluttershy's feelings by telling her that she's not cool enough to join desu!"

We wouldn't have to kill her, either... Mommy Twilight's voice (was it Mommy Twilight's voice?) mused, though she sounded a bit disappointed.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon just looked at each other.

"Wait a minute," began Silver Spoon, "Do you even understand why we're--"

Suddenly, she felt a nudge in her flank. She turned and saw Diamond Tiara looking at her with a knowing smile. Spoon knew that look; her friend had just had an idea. She quickly shut her mouth and let Tiara do the talking.

"That's a great idea, Pyx," Tiara said. "I don't know why we didn't think of that. If we just move the clubhouse, it should solve everything!"

Pyx looked up. Tiara was smiling slyly at her.

"So...I can still join the club?" she asked hopefully.

"Oh, suuuure you can..." Tiara assured her. "But I'm afraid that, because of your little faux pas back there, the rules have changed."

"Yeah," said Silver Spoon, picking up on Tiara's cue. "You remember that final test we said you have to take?"

Pyx nodded.

"Well, forget about it," said Diamond Tiara. "There's a new final test now."

"What do I have to do desu?"

"First, stop saying 'desu' all the time. Second, you have to go and find the clubhouse, and then move it before Fluttershy finds it."

"Where is the clubhouse des--I mean, um, where is the clubhouse? Tutturu~~?"

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes.

"We're not gonna tell you where it is! What kind of test would that be?"

"Ummm...can I have a hint des--uh, can I have a hint?"

"Look," said Silver Spoon, pointing off into the dense forest.

Pyx looked. She squinted far into the murky underbrush, but she couldn't see anything.

"I don't see it," she said.

"That's okay. It's too far away to see from here. But that's basically where it is."

"Yeah," said Diamond Tiara. "If you just head off in that direction, you'll find it eventually."

"What does it look like?" asked Pyx.

"Oh, you'll know it when you see it," Diamond Tiara assured her.

"Where should I move it to once I find it de--uh, nipah~~?"

"It doesn't matter," said Tiara. "Just put it someplace where Fluttershy won't know where it is. And when you've done that, come find us and tell us where you put it."

"You'd better get going, though," Silver Spoon advised. "Because if you don't have it moved by nightfall, you're out of the club."

"Yeah," said Tiara. "Better get moving."

Pyx beamed them a huge smile.

"I won't let you down!" she cried, raising her hoof in salute. "Tutturu~~!"

And with that, she darted off of the path, into the dark depths of the forest.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon burst into a fit of hysterical laughter.

"Oh. Sweet. Celestia. She is soooooooo stupid!" cackled Diamond Tiara.

"This has to be our best one yet," cried Silver Spoon. "The only downside to this prank is that we might not be able to top it!"

She wiped a tear away from her eye.

"Hey, you don't think we went overboard, do you?"

Her friend just glanced disdainfully at her.

"I mean," Spoon added quickly, "She is pretty dumb. What if she gets lost in the forest, and ends up getting turned to stone by a cockatrice or something?"

"So what if she does?"

"We could get in pretty big trouble if something happens to her."

Tiara just laughed, waving her hoof dismissively.

"You worry too much about stuff like that. If anything really bad happens, we'll just say she ran off on her own and we don't know where she went after that. Besides, we'll never get in any real trouble. You think my Daddy would let the town librarian push him around over her stupid cousin, or daughter, or whatever Pyx is?"

"Yeah, what's the deal with that, anyway?"

"Who cares?" Tiara glanced up at the sky, noting the westward position of the sun. "Come on, let's get out of here. Maybe we can make it to Sugar Cube Corner again before it closes."

Twilight groggily pulled her face up from her book. She'd lost consciousness at some point, and a page was stuck to her cheek.

"Hey there, Sleeping Beauty," said Spike. He was dressed in his apron and chef's hat, and there was a pleasant smell wafting out from the kitchen. "Dinner's almost ready."

"Oh, thanks Spike," Twilight mumbled. "Has Pyx come home yet?"

"You mean Trebuchet? No, I haven't seen her since you sent her off to play with those two bullies."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"About six hours ago, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon came over to take Pyx, I mean Trebuchet, to Sugar Cube Corner, and you said she could go."

"Yeah, I remember that part," said Twilight, shaking her head groggily. "What was the stuff about bullies?"

"Uh, you mean Tiara and Spoon? Those two are bullies."

"What?"

"Yeah. They're like the two most well-known bullies in town."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Did you not know that?"

"Of course I didn't know that!!"

"Oh. Well, yeah, they're huge bullies, they pick on her all the time. Don't you remember that time last week when she came home covered in bee stings? Or that other time she was all covered in mud and bruises? And then there was that time they sold her to a traveling circus, and the time they got her to join that 'twelve albums for one bit' record club, and the time they tried to sign her up for that filly scout troop that was actually a suicide cult--"

"If you knew, why didn't you say anything?!?"

Spike shrugged.

"I figured you knew something I didn't," he said. "Also, I don't really care."

Twilight shook her head and conked herself with a hoof several times, trying to knock the cobwebs out of her brain.

"I need to go look for her!" she said, and leapt to her hooves. She immediately regretted this decision, wobbling dangerously back and forth before she was forced to plop back down on her haunches.

"You're in no condition to go wandering around," said Spike. "She'll probably be home any minute now. I mean, that's if she's still alive, but you know, chances are pretty good--"

"RRRRGH! Spike, you're not helping!"

Twilight shook the cobwebs out one more time, and decided to give standing up another try. This time she was a little more successful. She threw on her saddlebags and began darting to and fro about the library, gathering things she thought she might need.

"I'm going out to look for her!" she proclaimed.

"When are you coming back?" Spike demanded.

"As soon as I find her!!" she yelled, and galloped out the door. Spike stood in the doorway, watching her go.

"You're the one who told me to make all this paella!" he shouted after her. "If you aren't back by the time it's ready, I'm not saving you any!"

Pyx made her way tentatively through the forest. The shadows had grown alarmingly long and dark since she'd set off on her own, and she didn't feel like she was any closer to finding that clubhouse.

"Boy, they really hid this thing, didn't they desu?" she said aloud.

You idiot, said a voice in the back of her head.

Pyx drew to a stop. It definitely wasn't Mommy Twilight this time, but she felt certain she knew this voice.

They're laughing at you, the voice said. There is no clubhouse. They sent you out here to die.

"They wouldn't do that desu! They're my friends!" said Pyx.

You can't possibly be serious. Do you not remember any of the stuff those two have done to you?

Pyx thought about it.

"Oh yeah, I guess you're right. They're not my friends at all, and this is exactly the sort of thing they would do. Nipah~~!"

She looked around her. The daylight was fading fast, and she wasn't entirely sure where she was. Or how to get back.

You see? it was as if the voice had read her mind. There is no clubhouse. They sent you out here to die. You must kill them all, Pyx!

"Hmmmm...but if I kill them desu, they might not let me into the club."

They were never going to let you in, it said. There probably is no club.

"Yeah, but we don't know that desu!"

No, but we can infer it based on past experience.

"Yeah, but we don't know. And knowing is half the battle! Nipah~~!"

The voice gave an annoyed sigh.

Tell you what, it said. I'll help you look for your foalish little clubhouse, and should we not come across it by nightfall, we do things MY way!

Pyx thought about it. It sounded like a win-win, honestly. She only had a couple more hours to find the clubhouse anyway, so if the mysterious voice could help her find it, then all the better. And if the two of them couldn't find it, she'd be no worse off than she would have been otherwise, but she'd still come out of the deal with a new invisible murder-voice friend! So best case scenario she'd net herself three new friends, worst case she'd still get one!

Pyx smiled brightly. Sure, there had been a bit of a learning curve and she'd had to eat a pine cone or two, but she thought that she was finally getting the hang of friendship math. And if things didn't work out with the Rich Fillies Club, maybe the mysterious voice knew a way she could make a thousand bits without having to seduce a homeless guy!

As if reading her mind, the voice spoke up again:

Oh, there will be ways to make a thousand bits, child! With me as your guide, you shall make a thousand bits and more! So much more! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Pyx didn't get the joke, but the laughter was infectious.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA~~!" she cackled.

Evil-sounding laughter echoed in the distance.

"What was that?!?" cried Silver Spoon, pressing closer to Diamond Tiara.

"How should I know?" snapped Diamond Tiara, pushing her away. Then, a moment later the laughter came again, and they both instinctively pressed up against each other.

"I want to go home," mewled Silver Spoon.

"You're the one who said she knew a shortcut back to town!!" Tiara snarled. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't quite keep the tremor out of her voice, and it was making her angry. "If we'd stayed on the path, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"I do know a shortcut!" insisted Spoon. "It's just...everything looks different out here in the dark! Besides, if we'd gone back on the path we would have had to go past Fluttershy's, and she might have asked why Pyx wasn't with us."

The sun had gone down, and twilight was obscured by the dense tree cover. All around them the dark forest was coming to life. Creatures stirred in the brush; the two fillies could see large, frightening shapes moving about in the corners of their vision. On all sides, the skeletal trees rose up, tall and black and menacing.

"A-all right. Let's t-try and figure this out," said Diamond Tiara, trying to sound brave. "W-we came from that direction, right?"

She pointed with a hoof.

"I t-think so..." said Silver Spoon.

"O-okay. So, let's just forget the shortcut, and t-try find our way back to the path, a-alright? We can figure things out from there."

"S-sure..."

In the distance, something howled. The two fillies pressed together again, shaking uncontrollably now.

"I bet I can fit more in my mouth than you can!"

"You're on!!"

After issuing this challenge, Sweetie Belle immediately grabbed an apple out of the nearby barrel and stuffed the entire thing into her mouth. She pushed it into the pouch of her cheek, then grabbed another one and did the same thing on the other side.

"Thath thoo," she said proudly, both cheeks stuffed with apples. To her dismay, however, she looked across from her and saw that Scootaloo had managed to stuff three whole apples into her mouth.

"Well, it looks like Scoot's the winner!" Apple Bloom declared.

"Nho fhare..." Sweetie Belle mumbled. With a loud "pphhbbbtt," she spat the two apples onto the ground, where they rolled around and became immediately caked with dirt.

"Where'd you learn to do that, anyway?" she demanded.

There was a loud crunch as Scootaloo chewed up all three apples at once, and then swallowed them in a single gulp. She grinned broadly.

"Just practice," she said innocently.

Nearby, at the counter of the little wooden market stall, Applejack finished up with a customer and turned around, annoyed with what she saw.

"Now what in tarnation are y'all doin'?" she demanded. "Apple Bloom, when I said you could bring your friends to help out today, I meant they could help! If you three are just gonna goof around, y'all might as well just run on home!"

Apple Bloom looked guiltily up at her sister.

"Uh, sorry Applejack," she muttered. "We just kinda got distracted."

Applejack made an irritated noise when she saw the two apples Sweetie Belle had spat out lying on the ground.

"And Sweetie Belle!" she said sharply. "What would your sister say about you wastin' food like that? At least Scootaloo ate the ones she took! That's it, I'm dockin' the cost of three apples from each of your pay!"

"That's no fair!" protested Apple Bloom.

"Wait, you're paying us?" asked Scootaloo.

Applejack rolled her eyes. She was about to lecture them further, when out of the corner of her eye she saw a pony galloping frantically towards the stall.

"Hold on, I got another customer," she said. "Oh wait, never mind. It's just Twilight."

Twilight reared up on her hind legs and placed her front hooves down on the stall counter with a loud clunk, panting and out of breath. Her mane was disheveled and her coat was plastered with sweat.

"Hoo-ee, you look plum awful, sugarcube!" Applejack said. "What's got you all riled up? Liquor store run out of Pone's Farm again?"

"No, fortunately they had plenty," Twilight said, still panting. "I'm actually looking for Pyx now. Did she come through here by any chance?"

Applejack stroked her chin, trying to remember.

"No, I can't say as she did," she said. "Though I do recall seein' a coupla fillies walkin' by a few hours ago..."

"Wait, what happened to Pyx?"

Apple Bloom trotted up to the counter, a concerned expression on her face, followed by Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

"Pyx went off with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon a few hours ago," Twilight explained, "And she hasn't come home yet. I'm starting to get worried--"

"Wait, did you say she's with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?" Apple Bloom demanded, legitimately concerned now. "How could you let her go off with those two?"

"Yeah," interjected Scootaloo. "Didn't you know they like to bully her?"

"No," groaned Twilight. "I didn't even realize..."

"How could you not know that?" demanded Sweetie Belle. "Everypony knows those two are the worst bullies in Ponyville!"

"Yeah," said Apple Bloom. "Don't you remember that time they made her eat a pine cone? Miss Cheerilee had to close up the little fillies' room for a whole day because of that!"

Scootaloo nodded in confirmation.

"I overheard her talking to the janitor about it," she remarked. "He said it looked like somepony had been gutting fish in there."

Twilight just hung her head miserably. Applejack put a sympathetic hoof on her shoulder.

"Now, that's enough, you three!" she said to the fillies. "Can't you see that Twilight's worried enough already?"

"I've looked for her everywhere," Twilight mumbled. "They said they were going to Sugar Cube corner, but that was six hours ago! I've been all over town, but nopony has seen them anywhere!"

"What did Pinkie Pie say?" asked Applejack.

Twilight looked up at her, a confused expression on her face.

"Pinkie Pie?" she asked. "What does she have to do with anything?"

Now it was Applejack's turn to look confused.

"Didn't you see her when you went to Sugar Cube Corner? I thought she was supposed to be workin' today..."

Suddenly, there was a loud bang as Twilight smacked her face against the counter.

"Sugar Cube Corner!! Of course! That's where they said they went! I should have started there!!"

Without another word, she turned around and galloped off.

"Thanks, Applejack!" she yelled over her shoulder. "Let me know if you see her, okay?"

Applejack watched her go for a few seconds, furrowing her brow in concern. Then, she turned her attention to her younger sister and her friends.

"Uh, maybe y'all should run along with Twilight and help look for your friend," she said.

"Don't you need us to help out with the store?" asked Apple Bloom.

Applejack glanced at the dusty, spit-covered apples Sweetie Belle had left in the corner of the stall, as well as the five unsorted barrels that were no closer to being sorted than they had been when the three fillies had begun their afternoon shift.

"Uh, I think I can manage without y'all for a little while," she said. "Go on, help Twilight look for Pyx; that's a lot more important than sellin' apples right now."

"Right!" the three of them said in unison, and they darted off in the direction of Sugar Cube Corner.