Shining Armor and Cadence trotted around aimlessly as they prepared for a gathering they had planned with the other couples. Cadence slaved away in the kitchen making all the princesses favorite foods and desserts, making abundantly sure that the quesadillas didn’t touch Twilight's food. She also made a call to GriffinStone for a few batches of fish and other meats as there was a guest with more of an "exotic" palette joining them.

Shining Armor got the guest room ready with chairs and drinks and tried to help as best he could, soon the doorbell rang as the first couple arrived.

"Twily, good to see you!" Shining Armor said, hugging his sister. " You two, Flash, get in here!" Flash Sentry, a previous guard of the Crystal Guard and Twilight's boyfriend, smiled and joined the embrace.

"It's so good to see you again, BBBFF." Twilight spoke, bringing up her brother's old nickname.

"Glad to be here, captain. It's been way too damn long since I've been here." Flash said, looking around at the castle above. Shining smiled at the couple's willingness to be here.

"Glad to see you two are feeling up for it. Come on in, Cadence is just making some snacks." He invited them inside with a wave of his hoof, to which they graciously obliged and walked inside.

As Twilight and Flash walked inside, Shining went about his business, still needing to prepare. The next couple arrived rather quickly, without the doorbell ringing, a spiraling green portal opened up, freaking out Shining Armor as he thought Shang Tsung was coming into their world, having played too many video games as he cowardly fell down as Celestia and Discord entered the room. Shining looked up and deadpanned as he saw the chaos lord and the goddess of the day standing there.

"Did you seriously have to show up like some eldritch horror was being summoned?" He moaned.

"No, but I hate it when all eyes aren't on me when I arrive." Discord said, turning the hallway into a red carpet and strutting his way down it as cameras flashed. Celestia lit her horn and countered the chaos magic as she walked alongside him and kissed him.

"Now now, Dissy, this isn't our home. And you know better than to disrespect it, right?" She said with a bit of a smile.

Discord huffed. "Oh fine, I guess so. Sometimes I wonder how I ever let you wrap me around your hoof." He snorted, his lover chuckled and held his paw.

"You know you love me…" she cooed, getting a blush out of Discord. Celestia giggled and faced Shining Armor.

"We'll be waiting in the guest room." She spoke, teleporting the both of them away in a golden flash. Shining Armor sighed, ever since those two have been together, they have been a bit of a handful. Even so, at least it had its perks. Most notably being the Lord of chaos not being so free with his magic while under the supervision of his well acquainted love. Just as he was about to start walking, Cadence teleported in front of him.

"Okay, the snacks are done, the game room is set up, and we have our guests filing in. All we have to do is wait for the last couple." Just as she said that, a knock came from the door. "You go make sure our guests are settled in, I'll take this one." She whispered, planting a kiss on his cheek and teleporting to the door.

Opening it, she was greeted by her Aunt Luna. "Auntie Luna, good to see you! But, where is he?" She asked, an eyebrow raised. Luna chuckled and began to count.

"Five, four, three, two, one…" As she reached one, a streak of red light came to a screeching halt beside her. As the red aura dimmed down, the full figure of Cadence's feline friend, ambassador of the Speed Shifters, Night Fury made his appearance.

"Hey hey hey, the party's here, bitch!" He laughed.

"Night Fury, it's been so long! How are you?" Cadence asked, smiling as she invited them in.

"Fit as a fiddle, Cady. I've been hella busy with my ambassador stuff. Helping with my culture at press conferences, allowing doctors to test my biological makeup, getting articles made for my parents arrival to Ponyville. It's been driving me bat-shit crazy! Even so, I still make some time to snuggle with this hot piece of ass." He said smugly, giving Luna a bump.

"As if you aren't just as sexy, Lightning Bug. I've been quite busy myself, as usual. But, I still somehow find myself with enough free time to make love to this one." She cooed, kissing him.

"Wow, sounds like you two have been busy! And in my experience, probably in more ways than one." Cadence jokes, getting an exaggerated scoff from Luna as Fury puffed his chest out. They soon arrived at the guest room where the game would be happening.

"So, are you two ready for a damn good time and some random shit?" Cadence asked.

"Hell yeah!"

"Let us commence!" Cadence smiled at their readiness and opened the door to the game room. The other couples turned their attention to the arrival of the last pair and greeted them.

"Ayo, Night Fury, what's up?" Flash called out, dapping him up.

"It's all good." Fury replied. He turned his attention to Discord and Shining Armor. "What's good, boys?!" The two other guys give him a warm welcome as any guy would. Celestia and Twilight, on the other hand, addressed Luna.

"Ah, good to see you've made it, sister." Celestia smiled as her sister gave her a hug.

Embracing the hug, Luna chuckled, "As if I would miss an event like this, It’ll be like when you and I used to play board games," Luna said, fondly remembering the good times that both came before and after her banishment.

"I doubt this is gonna be the same thing like what was in style 1000 years ago," Cadence piped up. "Let's just say that things have gotten a little more… fucked up when it comes to humor. Especially with the game we're playing."

"Oh please, how bad could humor have gotten?" Luna boasted. Cadence gave her a side eye as she pulled out the game they would be playing. Fury gave it a bit of a confused look as he read the title and tagline.

"Cards Against Equestria, a party game for horrible ponies. Sounds interesting." He spoke, looking over the pink box.

"Didn't we already play this game back in Canterlot a couple of weeks ago?" Twilight inquired.

"That is mostly true. Starlight got a different version of that game from Sunset Shimmer through the mirror portal and passed it on to us to play. This is the Equestrian version. I decided to make it official to give the party game genre a bit of a boost." Celestia explained, pointing out a holographic representation of the game Starlight had acquired with her horn.

"Oh, I've heard of this! This game is basically about who has the most fucked up humor. I'll read the rules to give everyone a refresher." Fury suggested. Cadence opened the box and set up the game, handing the instructions over to the feline ambassador.

As Fury read the rules, Cadence followed along, dealing out the cards and electing the Czar, since she was the youngest, Cadence chose Twilight and Flash to be the first team to be the Czar, followed by her and Shining Armor, Luna and Fury, Celestia, and Discord.

"Okay, now that we're all refreshed on the rules, let's get started! Twilight, if you would…" Twilight gave a nod and picked up the first black card of the game. Twilight's eyes bulged out of her head as she saw the card of choice.

"Well c'mon, Twi, read it." Shining implored her and her boyfriend. Twilight and Flash Sentry looked at eachother and gave a 'eh' before reading out the black card.

"What is the reason I lost my virginity?" Twilight spoke. The other teams had different reactions to the question. Celestia and Discord snickered under their breath, Cadence and Shining Armor giggled lightly and Night Fury and Luna both looked at the card Czar with shocked expressions. Night Fury was the first to speak up.

"Wow, if that's how this game is going, then I'm going to enjoy this." He said as he put his card facedown, waiting for the others to make their decisions. The solar goddess then set her card down for her team, the Crystal rulers doing the same soon after. With a quick shuffle of the cards, Twilight began to read out the cards from each team.

"Okay, here we go. What is the reason I lost my virginity?" Twilight recited, flipping over the first card and snickering. "A bottle of cream flavored Jack Daniels." She read aloud, snickering as she turned the next card over. "Going ten rounds with Jose Cuervo." Then came the last card. "Tax returns."

"That last one was a bit dull." Luna spoke.

"Ya damn right about that, babe." Fury added. Twilight sat for a moment, discussing the cards before them as they chose a winner.

"Cream flavored Jack Daniels wins." Flash called out, getting a reaction out of Fury.

"Hell yeah, the first points of the game go to us!" He cheered.

Luna giggled as she tallied up their point on a big white board, their team names written on it. Chaotic Sun, Moon Beam, Crystal Couple, and Shooting Star.

“I believe that makes you two the card Czars now," Twilight said as she passed the cards to Cadence and her brother. They picked up the first card and Cadence read it out. "Let me just say this, sex is way better once you add blank."

"I wouldn't think I would need to, considering the fact that I'm dominant in the relationship." Fury hinted with a smirk. Luna smiled sweetly as she levitated him onto her lap and hugged him.

"Are you sure, I am bigger than you." She quoted, placing her head on top of his.

"Awww, you two are so cute!" Celestia cooed, placing her team's card down.

"Celestia's right, you two do not give off the 'Dominatrix' type of relationship." Twilight said, handing Flash Sentry their set of cards and letting him choose. Fury blushed at the teasing, he just wanted to feel better about himself.

"Okay fine, I was lying." He admitted, placing his team's card face down. "If I'm being honest, our relationship is more of the 'gentle giant/chaotic gremlin' type." He chuckled. Cadence smirked as she turned over the first card and immediately broke down laughing.

"What? What is it?" Flash questioned. Cadence soon regained some of her composure as she read it out. "Let me just say this, sex is way better once you add yelling giggitygiggity goo as you pound your shaft in the dark."

As Cadence read the cards out, everyone around the table burst into hysterical laughter. Such a random answer but a glorious one at that.

"Oh my goddess, I can only imagine what that would sound like!" Night Fury wheezed with his girlfriend.

"That has to be the most random thing I've ever heard in my life. I must try this game in my own time!" Discord chuckled. Twilight and Flash Sentry just sat there giggling wildly as Cadence moved on to the next card.

Turning it over, Cadence gave a slight chuckle as she read the card and the answer. “Let me just say this, sex is way better once you add pegging."

"That's basically the same thing, isn't it?" Celestia inquired.

"Basically, but pegging is more for newly acclaimed couples or strippers." Fury explained, cracking open a glass bottle of cider. Twilight showed a shocked expression as the explanation hit her mind.

"Wait, so does that mean that when Flash and I… did it, we were technically…"

"Ding ding ding, we have a winner!" Discord called, glowing arrows forming above Twilight's head. Luna chuckled as her sister's lover used his chaos magic.

"You know, I think you and Night Fury would be good friends, Discord." She said

"Puh, what does whiskers got that I would be interested in?"

"Observe." Fury stood up and ignited his powers. With a quick jump he used his transformation to quickly switch between a cow, sheep, dog, chicken and snake. Making their respective noises as he transformed back into his original form, he looked towards the chaos god with a smirk.

Discord smiled. “Impressive, but that’s just a regular Tuesday for me, and actually, pegging is when someone uses a strap on and plows you in the ass," Discord added.

"Still, I mostly see strippers and new couples do that. More lesbian couples than straight ones, but I digress." Fury stated, taking his seat. Cadence then went to the third and final card.

"Let me say this, sex is way better once you add licking your girlfriend's teats."

"Traditional and kinky." Celestia said casually, getting a confused look out of Twilight.

"Kinky I get, but how is licking your girlfriend's teats, in any way, traditional?" She asked.

Celestia smiled as she looked at Discord, “Oh, It might just be me," she says as she sips from her cider bottle. The Lord of chaos' eyes widened at his lover's seductive remark.

"Got something on your mind, D man?" Flash prodded, smirking. Discord regained his composure and sat up straight.

"Of course not, I would never have such filthy things running through my head." He defended, snakes and party streamers running out of his ears.

"Well, since this card got the biggest reaction, jerking off in the middle of the night wins." Cadence declared.

"Ha, that's one for us, Twi!" Flash called out.

"Cheers bro, I'll drink to that!" Fury called. The other men (and draconequus) raised their cider bottles, clinked them together and took a hardy chug.

“Ok, Fury and I are the card Czars now, so let us see," Luna said as she pulled out a topic card, and blushed as she read it, “Oh, this shall do," she says as she puts the card down for all to read.

“My favorite thing during sex is when my lover blank." Twilight read the card as she blushed, thinking back to how Flash is in bed, knowing her brother would probably kill him if he knew. Cadence and Fury, on the other hand, smirked at the question. Celestia and Discord just looked at Luna blankly, having not had any escapades in bed as of yet.

"Well… that is very… Forward." Twilight said meekly.

"I wouldn't call it 'being forward', more so taking it to a new level. Eh Cadence?" Fury smirked at Twilight's sheepish look.

"I could say the same." Cadence replied, tossing a wing around her husband's back. Celestia stayed stunned for a few more seconds before speaking.

"That is a very creative way of saying it, Night Fury. Perhaps you are speaking from experience?"

"Oh hell no! Me and Luna aren't that far along on the romance river. And besides, she has yet to show me how devious she is in bed."

"Hey, romance is a hard thing to get used to. It took me and Shiny months before we decided to have Flurry Heart." Cadence said, placing a card in front of the current card Czars.

"Wait, I almost forgot about Flurry. How is the little snowflake?" Flash asked, placing his card.

"Heh, not so little now ever since Twilight became Equestria's new ruler. I wish I could say it's easy taking care of a teenager now, but boy is it not!" Shining sighed with a slight chuckle.

"Sheesh, has it really been that long since Luna and I retired? It feels like we just announced it yesterday!" Celestia said, surprised that so much time has passed.

"Yep, she's already going through her 'boy craze' phase. I've been helping her out with the heavier stuff like rejection, break ups and how to approach one. But she seems to already be taking things into her own hooves." Cadence remarked.

"Well, good for her. I'm glad she's getting closer to becoming independent," Celestia quipped, placing her card on the table.

"And getting laid." Night Fury chimed in, laughing as he took a swig of his cider and tossed away the empty bottle. "Anyway, we have our cards. Luna, if you would…"

"Of course." Luna gave the three cards a quick shuffle before reading the first one. "My favorite thing during sex is when my lover licks my strawberry milk filled teats."

"Hmm, I always wondered why Flurry was so full of energy as a baby. Now I know why!" Fury chuckled, shooting an amused glance at Cadence.

Turning over the next card Luna read again. "My favorite thing during sex is when my lover licks my pussy like a jelly-filled donut." As Luna finished reading, the other teams lost it. Hysterical laughter filled the room as the cards were taken in.

"Oh wow, now that is a good time!" Cadence giggled.

"You can bet that, lovebird!" Fury replied through his wheezing fit. "Isn't there actually something called a 'Jelly doughnut' when having sex?"

Celestia then recovered from her own hysterics to answer the feline's inquiry. "Yes, there is. But I will refrain from the explanation so as to not give my former student an aneurysm!" She laughed.

Twilight was blushing bright red, covering her face with her wing at how vulgar the card was. She wasn't exactly the type of pony to play a game that went fast and loose with these types of jokes.

Luna then turned the third card over “My favorite thing during sex is when my lover calls me mommy.” Luna read aloud causing Discord to blush this time. Night Fury took notice of this and decided to prod at him.

"What's got you looking like a strawberry, Discord? This answer speaking from experience?" He teased, arching an eyebrow. Discord didn't speak as to not give himself away, Celestia stepping in for him.

"My little Dissy… may have called me mommy once or twice when we first got together." She spoke, hugging the chaos god close to her. At that moment, all of the other guys broke out into laughter while the ladies started giggling.

"Wow, I can't believe it! The Lord Of Chaos, the one who can not be outsmarted, has fallen to the most powerful thing in life. Subduction via a horny girl!" Shining Armor said, his head in his forelegs.

"Oh shut up, it's not like I'm the only one who does it!" Discord defended. The entire room went silent at the statement, causing the princess of the day to start questioning said statement.

"Excuse me, what?"

"Yeah, what Discord's saying is kinda true." Fury explained. "Its been going on for years. Ponies all over have been referring to you as 'Momlestia', and for two reasons. One more scandalous than the other. One, you have the attitude and caring grace that could only come from a loving mother…"

This put a smile on Celestia's face, but it would soon fade with the second reason.

"And two, some ponies have been using you as the pure representation of what their dream MILF would look like." Fury continued,

“It’s true sister, I have seen dreams where you act as a dominatrix. It is no secret that you have been seen as a dream romance partner, literally.” Luna said, adding to Fury’s answer. Even though this new piece of news was very shocking to her, Celestia kept her cool.

"Well, there's no use in trying to complain about it now, I have nothing to hide. I do sometimes see myself as one hot piece of ass, and I have no regrets. And besides, I'm sure there are plenty of dreams where you all have been in such a situation?"

"Actually no," Luna corrected. "The ratio of dreams about you and dreams about anyone else here is very unbalanced. You are a very popular pony to most. But as of late, I've seen more and more dreams about my little Lightning Bug as the dominant one." She then gestured to Night Fury.

"It's true. A couple of months ago, Luna decided to use a linking spell to allow me to come with her to the dream realm. And after a few visits to ponies dreams… yyeeeah, apparently, some mares are having dreams about me getting down and dirty with them. They apparently call me 'The Tamer', with how many dreams I've seen personally of mares wishing I treated them like pets. With me calling them 'good girl' and me giving them treats, the whole sort!"

“Hmmm, that does sound kinky, but back to the cards, which one has the Czar chosen to give the point to?” Celestia asked.

"Considering how much of a riot sparked with this one, The Pussy Doughnut wins."

"Aha! That's a point for us, Tia." Discord said, giving her a kiss. Celestia blushed at the gesture as she pulled the next black card from the deck.

"Hm, this one's a little more tame. On my first date, I accidentally embarrassed myself by blank."

The other teams looked at their cards, debating on which one to put down. Soon, three cards were put in front of the card Czars. A quick shuffle later, and the first card was pulled.

"On my first date, I accidentally embarrassed myself by letting loose what could only be known as a tear gas bomb of a fart." The other teams then began snickering at the immature card.

"Is that how Cadence was when you showed her your special recipe for your chili, Night Fury?" Shining asked, getting a snarl from his wife.

"Hehe, yep! As soon as she tried it, there was a deep rumble from her stomach. And before I knew it, she was running for the nearest bathroom with a makeshift rocket booster blasting out of her ass!" Fury laughed.

Celestia flipped over the next card and read, “On my first date, I accidentally embarrassed myself by getting caught burping the worm.”

"Dafuq? Burping the worm? What is this guy keeping a baby Tatzelwurm for a pet?" Fury asked, completely confused.

"I think that's just a confusing one, I don't get it." Cadence added on. Celestia nodded in agreement as she pulled the final card for the round.

“Oh, that is just a euphemism for,” Discord chimed as he leaned over to Celestia and whispered in her ear, “masturbation.” Discord said.

"You do know I heard that right?" Fury said bluntly. Discord was shocked.

"How did you…"

"My ears may look shrimpy, but they can hear a hooker getting gangbanged from five miles out." Everyone around the table was shocked and slightly disturbed.

"How… how do you know what that sounds like?" Twilight asked, a little bit concerned about how Fury knew.

"As much as having hearing like mine is a blessing, it can also be one helluva curse. You ever been to the south side of Las Pegasus on New Years at The Ringmaster's Hotel and Casino?"

“Ah, say no more my feline friend,” Discord said as he flipped over the last card.

“On my first date, I accidentally embarrassed myself, by calling my date my ex's name at the end of it.” At that moment, everyone else pulled in an exaggerated breath through their teeth. They all agreed on the fact that doing that is not a good thing.

"Gaht Dayum! Talk about a death sentence, ain't nopony bringin' that back from the brink!" Fury said, a disturbed look in his face.

"Ya damn right about that one, I can't imagine what kind of Pandora's box would open if you called your date by your ex's name! Sheesh!" Flash agreed, cracking open another cider.

“Hmmm, well these are all good, though the last one isn’t a death sentence for all,” Celestia said as she shot Discord a sideways glance. “But I have to give the point to tear bomb fart,” Celestia said. Shining Armor pumped his hoof in the air in victory before speaking.

"In that case, that puts all of us at a four way tie. On to round two! But first, how about a snack break?" The other players nodded to the idea as they brought out the array of snacks prepared and fueled up for the next round.

Author's Note

Chaotic Sun: 1
Crystal Couple: 1
Moon Beam: 1
Shooting Star: 1

All of our teams are tied, what a surprise! But we still have nine rounds left! Who's gonna take the win, let's see!