“Ok, Twilight, you and Flash are the card Czars again.” Luna said as she gave Twilight the cards.

After dealing out the responses, Twilight pulled out the starter and read out loud. “If I ever have a free cheat pass, I’ll use it for blank.” Twilight read as she blushed.

“Well I'll be damned, I never thought of that.” Fury said, earning a dangerous glare from Luna. “Not that I would actually want to use such a thing, I love you more than anything.” He defended, giving her a kiss.

“Okay, you've saved yourself from my wrath. For now…" She warned, placing a response in Twilight's direction.

“I wouldn't need to use it either. If anything, it should be more of a ‘Free threesome’ card if I were to put it to use." Shining said, giving his team's response.

Cadence glared at her husband with a mix of anger, intrigue, and playfulness. “Oh, and who might join us? perhaps that bug queen, i heard she has full control of her body,” she asked.

“Chrysalis? Maybe, maybe not. And besides, isn't she technically my second wife? She did get the ring put on her before you and Twilight showed up.” Cadence was shocked at hearing this and shot a glare at her eldest aunt for letting it slide. But strangely, she wasn't perturbed.

“Oh calm down, Cadence, we've all had that feeling that we just can't get enough in the bedroom. And besides, didn't you have second thoughts about having Chrysalis as a second wife to Shining Armor? You seemed pretty intrigued." Celestia said, placing the final response on the table. Cadence was about to retort but realized that she was right. She did see Chrysalis as a second wife to Shining Armor, and somewhat of a good one at that. The changeling queen even had the heart to watch over Flurry when they were out sometimes.

“Chrysalis is a big help, on occasion,” Cadence said as she placed a response card down.

"I've actually made good friends with Crissy over the years." Night Fury said. "We made a mutual bond over our ability to transform. And her occasional romance tips have been helpful as of late." He explained, placing his card down.

"While I have my own grudges against Chrysalis, I can't deny that she's made a large improvement. I'd have to say she's somewhat of an antihero nowadays." Twilight said.

"Well at least you've learned how to deal with change. If this happened a few years ago you would have gone into a full panic state." Discord snickered, placing the final card.

"No I wouldn't!" Twilight denied, her voice cracking a bit as she blushed
"Twilight, please. Back then, you were so uptight about things going a certain way, you had a good damn panic attack when you couldn't schedule a prank that Rainbow Dash was putting you up to." Fury said bluntly.

“Not to mention that self-imposed deadline you put on yourself for writing letters to me,” Celestia said as she took a sip of her cider. At this point, Twilight was silent with a furious blush in her face. She didn't want to admit she got stressed over the most mundane things in her youth, but it was true. To get her mind off of it all, she read out the first card.

"If I ever had a free cheat pass, I would use it for sticking my dick in a pizza and giving a new meaning to a stuffed crust."

Celestia spit out her cider in a fit of laughter, the card making the others laugh just as hard.

"Now that is what I call a 'Hot Topping'!" Fury laughed, his head on the table.

"If I were to see that happen, I would probably ask to be next." Cadence said slyly.

"Of course you fucking would, you have the sex drive of a thousand hookers!" Flash Sentry shot out.

"And I don't have any regrets about it! And besides, I know someone who likes it." She cooed, kissing Shining Armor. The laughing soon died down and Twilight pulled the next card.

“If I ever had a free cheat pass, I would use it for making love to a hot apple pie.” Twilight read.

"I'm pretty sure that's just Applejack on a Friday night." Fury chuckled. "She has to be that way with it, if she hasn't already let her lesbian fly and given that marshmallow a creamy filling."

"Of Fury, how scandalous! But in all seriousness, has she admitted it yet?" Cadence asked.

"Actually yes, she has made her move and she has been dating Rarity for quite some time. And just to be clear, she does not have sex with apple pies. Although, some ponies with more… sexual thoughts started to make theories that she 'Gave the pies their delicious filling'."

Twilight then flipped over the last card to see what is said, “If I ever had a free cheat pass, I would use it for letting Tirek bang my brains out in his muscular form.”

"How would that even work? Can Tirek even have sex with how big he is?" Cadence asked.

"Maybe. He can change his size at will, but he must have at least a few metric shit tons of magic to do it." Celestia said.

"Eh, he's just not me then. I can easily change my size to fit the bill, if you catch my drift." Fury said smoothly.

Luna blushed as he said that, turning bright red.

"All sex jokes aside, the hot apple pie wins." Twilight announced.

"Huzzah, another point to us!" Luna called, immediately bouncing back from her embarrassment.

"Yeah, let's go!" Fury chuckled.

"Nice job you two. Cadence, I believe you and Shining Armor are next?"

“That we are,” Cadence said as she shuffled the cards, wanting to really randomize the situation. Flipping over the black card, she read out the scenario. “My favorite way to punish my child when they act out is blank.”

"Yeesh, that's a bit of a touchy subject. I know that this is about who's got the most fucked up humor, but that is just… wow." Flash Sentry said, wincing at the question.

"Speaking from experience?" Fury asked, Flash shook his head.

"Not in the way you're thinking, my parents were pretty good. But let me tell you, I've seen a ton of fucked up punishment in public from parents. One time, I saw this kid who was getting a little too touchy with the merchandise in one of the Crystal Empire's markets. You know what his mom did? She reached into her purse, put a collar on her son and held him on a dog leash!"

“Damn, I may be ok with a single spank, but that is just horrible,” Celestia said.

"That's just the least harsh. You ever seen a war veteran dad put a set of stocks in his backyard just in case his daughter ever got a boyfriend?" Flash added placing a card down.

"Sweet mercy!" Cadence called out. "That is going totally overboard! Who does that to their daughter?!"

"Who said it would be just for her?" The room instantly fell silent, such a terrible use of brute force and unusual restrictions rattling their brains.

"Okay, how about we move on from the depressing parental nonsense and try and get this over with?" Luna put in, placing an answer card with her sister following suit shortly after. Cadence took the cards and quickly shuffled them before reading out the first one.

"My favorite way to punish my child when they act out is putting them on a seesaw, dropping an anvil, and watching as they become a glorified cannonball." The group started to snicker at the answer.

"Talk about letting your problems fly away." Fury chuckled.

"I suppose that's good. But in my book, that is amateur hour." Discord added, snapping his claws and bringing up a logbook. "Ah, nevermind, that's just my 3 o'clock."

"Of course it is." Twilight moaned. Cadence gave her sister-in-law a cheeky glance before moving onto the next card.

"My favorite way to punish my child when they act out is by ripping their cock off of them by force." Cadence winced at the answer while everyone else looked shocked. "That's just cruel, who would do that to their son? Mares have needs, y'know?"

"And stallions. Can't forget the gay population out there that likes getting anally railed on a Thursday afternoon." Fury chuckled, taking a bite off of a fish-kabob.

"That is true, my feline friend." Celestia spoke, "Some stallions do have the certain… 'affinity' for getting pumped full of nature's cream filling." At that moment, Twilight groaned in disgust. Cadence, Celestia and Fury all looked in her direction with sly smiles.

"Wow Twilight, you still haven't truly let yourself go, have you?" Cadence teased.

"N-no, not really." Twilight admitted.

"Huh, well at least she's honest about it." Night Fury acknowledged, turning to her mate. "So, you still haven't given her the goods?"

"Oh I have, kitty cat." Flash said. "I just haven't taken it to a point where she's full yet."

"Flash!" Twilight yelped, her face a bright red as her wings popped out from her sides.

"Oh relax, my little bookworm, it's just a joke." He reassured her, leaning in. "And besides, I know you're not one of these sex maniacs. I know how to treat ya." He whispered, getting a sheepish grin from the purple alicorn.

"Eh, I'm willing to admit that sex is a bit of a big thing for me and the moonbutt." Fury shrugged.

"Moonbutt? Really, Lightning Bug?" Luna said bluntly, calling him by his pet name.

"Hey, don't put this on me when basically everypony has been calling you and your sister those names after you retired. It's basically become a common occurrence." The black cat remarked. "And besides, it's your sister's fault for being super horny and showing off her ass to the public because she was trying to get her needs met."

Luna looked at her elder sister with a sharp glare, the targeted sun goddess letting out an embarrassed chuckle with a blush to boot.

"W-well, I was having a hard time accepting my age at that point. And around the time that we were about to leave the royal life behind us, I decided on a whim to try and reel in somepony to… cover my bases." Celestia explained.

"Though we sympathize with thou's problems, we do not have the same feeling for thine exposing her assets to our subjects." Luna growled, casually slipping into Old Ponish and The Royal We.

Cadence giggled at the siblings in verbal combat before bringing up the last card. "My favorite way to punish my child when they act out is by giving them a surprise visit from The Tickle Monster."

"Well that's the first wholesome answer we've got so far." Shining Armor said.

“Remember how we used to do that to Flurry,” Cadence asked, smiling brightly and warmly. "She would giggle and squeak so cutely when she was a baby, it was so adorable."

"Pfft, wow. Can't imagine what that was like." Fury scoffed. Cadence arched an eyebrow.

"Got a problem?" She practically spat out.

"Nah, it's just the fact that I've never been tickled before. Hell, I don't even know if I'm ticklish or not." Fury said. The room fell silent, all of the girls growing devious smiles as they looked in his direction.

"What?" Fury asked, unaware of what they were planning. Luna looked down on him, “I think we all want to test that.”

Luna then levitated him out of his chair and onto a nearby couch in the room. The four princesses gathered around him, Cadence and Luna at his side, Celestia standing near his back paws, and Twilight looming over his head.

"I have a feeling that this is going to be exciting." Twilight spoke, plucking a feather from one of her wings. "I'll go first."

Twilight then proceeded to work around Fury's neck, grazing the feather against his fur. Fury jerked a little at the sensation and moved his neck around, though he did not laugh.

"Hmmm, allow me." Celestia said, moving in on his back paws. She grazed a wing against them, letting the weight fall into the toe pads. Fury bit his lip and his mouth began to twitch, his toes wiggling as the funny feeling ran up his spine.

"Nothing still? Well, I guess there's only one spot left." Cadence giggled, nodding to her nocturnal aunt.

“We agree, his sides it is,” Luna said as she started using her wings to tickle Fury’s right side. As soon as she made contact, he burst out laughing.

"Bahahahahaha! Quit Ihihihit, that's not fair!"

"But in what way, I don't see any unfair advantage being used." Luna said. Cadence moved more upwards of his side and began attacking his belly.

"Awww, your laugh is so cute!" Cadence giggled, tickling his underside.

“I have to agree, your laugh is indeed enjoyable,” Luna said as she continued to tickle her lover. Fury squealed and squeaked like a hog, completely defenseless. He then decided that he had enough, igniting his aura and sending out an electric charge that forced all four of them back.

"Y-you four… are the worst. Especially you, Cadence. You cheeky little girl." He snarled, righting himself on all fours.

"You have no right to say I'm cheeky with the jokes you tell about me and my husband." Cadence shot back. Fury just gave her a confused look.

"You thought those jokes came from me? Nah, Flurry told me those." Fury said bluntly, taking his seat back. Cadence then gave a stern look of seething anger, she had no idea that such crude jokes about her and her husband came from her own daughter. But her expression soon softened, she realized that she really couldn't blame her for it. With how ridiculous certain scuffles and disagreements got between her and Shining Armor, she wasn't surprised that they gave their daughter some source material.

“Now then, let’s see, I have to give the point to the tickle monster. It was wholesome and gave us an opportunity to try something.” Cadence said as she made Luna and Fury the next Czars, another point being appointed to them. Luna pulled a new card and read it aloud.

"As much as I love to go for a morning run, one thing that makes it hard to enjoy is blank." The other teams soon placed their cards in front of her and let her pull the first one.

"As much as I love to go for a morning run, one thing that makes it hard to enjoy is my neighbors constantly sneaking looks at my beautiful fat ass."

“Who can blame them, you do have a beautiful ass, Luna.” Fury said as he leaned back into her. Luna then gave a seductive smirk and got to eye level with Fury.

"Is that so? Well, that would explain why you see me, as they call it, 'Caked up'?"

"Oh yeah, I definitely see you that way." Fury replied, lowering his voice to a more seductive tone. "And besides, I know you love it when I give you a bit of a smack across the ass. And when you hear me talk to you like this afterwards, your brain function shuts down. And you fall for me just that little bit more, because you… are… mine." At that point, Luna's fur stood on end as she bit her lip, a wave of pleasure riding up her spine.

"Excuse us for a moment, I wish to speak with Fury for a moment." She said, quickly standing up and grabbing him by his tail, dragging him out of the room and shutting the door behind them.

“Oh my,” Celestia exclaimed as she watched them exit the room, blushing bright red.

"Well, looks like Mr. Nine Lives just got himself a tenth one. And one hell of a life that's gonna be." Shining exclaimed.

"I think we'll be fine, Luna would be sensible enough to use a noise canceling spell if she had to." Twilight put in. Cadence giggled and gave her a sly smile.

"Wow, Twilight, it seems that throughout the years you've loosened up a bit. Talking about sex without cringing, that's new." She pointed out.

"Eh, I might as well let myself go. I'm doing it now too, so no need to keep myself huddled up anymore." Twilight replied.

"How long do you guys think they'll be gone? I'm taking bets, 20 bits says 1 hour." Flash offered, immediately getting the attention of the group.

"40 bits says 3 hours, I have a feeling Fury gonna do her some justice." Shining smirked, placing 40 bits in the former guard's direction. The princesses and the chaos god also put their bets in, ranging from 50 bits to 100. As the bets rang in, they all waited for the nightly couple to return, hoping that their bet would be the jackpot.

–

3.5 Hours later…

Luna and Fury come back, with a satisfied Luna panting a bit and glowing like a beam from ear to ear as they return to their seats. Fury was more stable than her, a smug smile on his face as he rang it in.

“So, what did we miss?” Fury asked as he laid in Luna’s lap.

"Yes! 3.5 hours, I knew it! Cough it up, bitches." Cadence laughed, the other teams giving in their previous bets.

"Wait, you guys were taking bets on how long I'd last?" Fury asked.

"Yep, and it seems you've done a good job. Isn't that right sister?" Celestia asked, but Fury answered for her.

"I don't think my little Moonpie here is going to be talking for this round. I just turned her into a cream pie after all." He boasted, gesturing to the spaced-out blue alicorn with messy fur and ruffled feathers.

“Fair enough, I remember the first time I sucked off Discord, I couldn’t speak for a month,” Celestia said.

"Hoo, nice one D man." Fury chuckled.

"I take pride in showing others a good time. Now, back to the cards?"

"Of course, I'll have to step in for Ms. Starry eyed over here." Fury said, picking up the second card. "As much as I love to go for a morning run, one thing that makes it hard to enjoy is constantly sucking in my gut to keep others from poking at my pudge."

“Hmmm that is a good one,” Celestia chimed as she took a sip from her bottle.

"Eh, I never have to deal with that. I work out on a constant basis." Night Fury said, flexing a bit.

"At least that would be the case if you weren't such a foodie and didn't have a major sweet tooth." Cadence teased.

"Oh come on, I'm not that much of a foodie. And I don't have a sweet tooth." He defended.

"Tell that to Pinkie Pie when you got three dozen of her Super Sweetie Sweet Tooth Cupcakes after just licking the frosting." Twilight added. Fury covered his eyes with his ears and practically curled up.

“And let’s not forget how you practically go on a tangent if a dish has too much of a single spice,” Cadence chimed as she looked at Fury. At this point, Fury's face was as red as Big Macintosh's natural complexion. His fur looked as if it were on fire, and nothing could put it out.

"Okay, you two. Let's give him a rest before he goes redder than the inside of a volcano." Celestia chuckled. Fury lifted one ear to look at her and mouthed a 'Thank you' in silence. She gave him a nod as she resisted the urge to giggle at his reddened cheeks. By that time, Luna had finally gotten herself under control from her pleasure trance and looked at her lover with a smile.

"Awww, you embarrassed my little lap kitty?" She said, kissing him on the forehead.

"Ha, Fury's a little lap kitty." Flash shot out.

"You have three seconds to shut your trap before I make Twilight single." Fury snarled.

Flash rolled his eyes, knowing that the worst he’d do would put him in a cast as he took a drink of cider. “So, what’s the next card?” he asked. Luna then decided to take the reins and read off the last card.

"As much as I love to go for a morning run, the one thing that makes it hard to enjoy is the constant worry of Princess Molestia showing up."

Celestia blushed at the mention of that name. “Oh my, Is that another fantasy some ponies have about me?” Celestia asked as she put a hoof to her mouth.

"Yep, basically just another sex name that other ponies have about you. That name is more used as a dominatrix name for you, but others have more… frightening theories." Luna spoke.

"Oh my, well I guess I do have a few fans out there still. And I won't complain, I like having eyes on me."

"So does the feline." Shining Armor said. "He's had a few mares from the Crystal Empire giving passes. They think he's pretty hot."

“I can see why,” Luna said as she looked down to her lover, smiling brightly.

"You know it, Moonpie. So, which one wins?" Fury asked. Luna tapped her chin as she shuffled the card in her magic, inspecting them one by one.

"Getting attention from my fat ass wins!" Luna called out.

"Yes! That's how it goes!" Discord snickered.

“Oh, but sweetie, you don’t have a fat ass, if anything it’s quite firm and tight.” Celestia said as she stroked her wing across Dicord’s rear.

"Please save the sex drive for the private rooms, you two. We at least had the decency to step out when we got antsy." Luna spoke up, passing the deck to her sister.

"Maybe I shall take up that advice, dear sister. Just maybe." Celestia said, grabbing the last card of the round. "If I had to make up a fake disease, I would call it blank."

“Ohhhhh, that’s a good one,” Twilight exclaimed as she put down a card.

“Wow, you put down that card faster than when Discord fucks Celestia.” Flash said, making a slight jab.

"At least I can last for longer than 10 minutes before I need an inhaler." Discord shot off. Shining Armor and Night Fury both let out a simultaneous "Ohhhh!" Before laughing.

"Damn, he just shut you up!" Fury laughed, placing his card.

"I have never heard such a monsterous comeback in my entire damn life! Ha, that was brilliant!" Shining Armor said, still letting out the occasional wheeze as he placed the final answer card.

Flash blushed as he accepted defeat, tipping his hat off to Discord. “Touche.” Flash said. Celestia silently recovered from her own giggle fit and brought up the cards for the round.

"If I had to make up a fake disease, I would call it Big Teats." Celestia read out.

"Now that's a disease I wouldn't mind having." Cadence jokes. "And I know you feel the same way, Auntie."

"While I don't have as much of a desire to enlarge my rack, I can see where you're coming from. If anything, I think the trunk is where I need the most attention." Celestia giggled, giving her flanks a bit of a wiggle.

"I wouldn't mind a bit of enhancement myself actually." Luna said. "I know that I would get some approval from the masses."

"You bet, Moonpie! And to be honest, that's not the only thing ponies like to enhance about themselves. Did you guys know that certain mare's have a thing for having big bellies?" Fury pointed out.

“I am quite aware,” Discord said as he stroked his beard as Celestia flipped over the next card. “If I had to make up a fake disease, I would call it Limp dick-itis."

The other teams immediately began snickering, Twilight and Luna a bit more on the reserved side.

"Ha ha! I know Spike would love that one!" Fury pointed out. Twilight took this a different way and got a little agitated.

"What are you exactly trying to say, fish breath?" She snarled, a trace amount of venom in her voice.

"Oh, would you relax, Sparklebutt? I'm talking about that douchebag Garble. You know how dragons have a competition for basically everything? Well apparently, the guys of the group have a dick size contest. And guess what? Spike went over to the Dragonlands for a visit and what'dya know, Garble grew up to have major shrinkage!" Fury laughed.

Twilight snickered a bit more. “I guess that’s karma biting Garble in the ass.”

"Ya damn right, sis! That tomato paste colored bitch boy had it coming! Poor Spike had to put up with him for so long! Speaking of Spike, how did he take the fact that Rarity was a lesbian?" Cadence asked.

"Actually, not too bad. He was a little butt hurt about his childhood crush not being into him, but he eventually accepted it. Plot twist, he actually hooked up with Fluttershy as a replacement." Twilight explained. Cadence and the others were surprised. Spike and Fluttershy, now that was an unexpected combo.

“Ok, let’s see what the last card is,” Celestia said as she flipped the card over. Celestia's eyes bulged at the answer and began laughing her ass off. After a few minutes, she got herself together and spoke the words on the card.

"If I could make up a fake disease, I would call it Giggly Gurgle Guts!" The rest of the party snickered as they let it sink in.

"What the hell kind of disease is that?! What is that, when your stomach starts giggling and gurgling at the same time?!" Flash chuckled.

"Who the fuck knows, all I know is that I would be laughing at whoever had that disease! Hey Luna, what do you think would happen if you had that disease?" Fury asked through fits of laughter.

“Hmmm, I really can’t say, probably some kinky shit.” she said as she looked down at Fury. "I can only imagine how it would sound if that disease was a thing."

"Well, let's be glad that it isn't for the time being. So, who wins this one, Auntie?" Cadence asked.

"Well, considering how ridiculous this one was, I'd say the Giggly Gurgle Guts wins." Celestia announced.

"Fuck yeah, another one for the Crystal Empire!" Shining Armor exclaimed, pumping a hoof in the air.

"Aw, damn it. Guess our luck wasn't so good this round, Twilight." Flash said.

"Eh, I'm okay with it. And besides, I need to use the little fillies room." Twilight said, getting up from her seat.

"I second that, this apple cider really hit me hard." Celestia said, rising with her former student.

As they went to the restroom, the rest of the players sat and waited. This round was a bit of a crazy one, lots of shenanigans taking place as the game progressed. But as this was only the second round, the other players knew that there were much more random and insane things to come in the insanity of a card game.

Author's Note

Chaotic Sun: 2
Crystal Couple: 2
Moon Beam: 3
Shooting Star: 1

Things are starting to ramp up! Who's gonna come out on top? Who's gonna suffer defeat? Who's gonna make the most sex jokes?! (That is a rather random statistic to keep track of, but I digress). Let's see what happens in round three!

Note: Sorry for the late release, had a couple of things backing me up such as Writer's Block, managing my other stories and real life. But I hope you all enjoyed regardless of release time!