Hoax-Ed!

Chapter II – Solo

        Later that day, somewhere in the very outskirts of Ponyville, an unusual structure was in the making. Cardboard boxes, pieces of wood, metal sheets, loose tiles, even garbage cans, piling up into the shape of a wonky house on a meadow, seemed more than quite out of place; and, trotting between them, was nopony other than Ed. His main “activity” was chucking random things, which could be at least remotely considered as building materials, on the pile. He didn’t really seem like he took Twilight’s advice, but at least he knew that he was building a house of some sort. What sort? Let’s not ask. For Ed’s luck nopony was there at the moment to ask him to clean it up – only one pony noticed the strange building site and was curious enough to go there and actually ASK what it is. It was Rainbow Dash.- What is it? It’s quite simple. – Ed answered – It’s some jumbo cardboard boxes, a bit of planks and this trash can.-And together they make? – asked Rainbow Dash-Some jumbo cardboard boxes, a bit of planks and this trash can!... I’m stumped.-Oh, yeah, that was quite obvious. Could’ve guessed it myself. – said Rainbow Dash as she flew around the structure – But why are you building it?-I’m collecting money for a lifetime supply of buttered toast. No wait, that was last week. – Ed stopped for a while trying to remember why he was building – I want to get money to buy a ticket for the 4Hooves concert!-4Hooves! They rock! – shouted Rainbow Dash – I could even help you if you’d buy a ticket for me too.        While Ed remained speechless for quite long time, thinking out Rainbow Dash’s proposition, she already took it for a “yes” and started looking around for extra “building materials”. After a while, Ed suddenly exclaimed:-Awesome plan! Will there be any buttered toast in it?-Yeah, right, toasts… - said Rainbow Dash, not quite used to Ed’s antics – Now then, how do you plan to make money building this house?-Uh… Is that a trick question?-What do you mean? So you don’t know what you’re doing? – Rainbow Dash suddenly lost her confidence in Ed-Sorta…? – said Ed happily-Oh, brother, could’ve guessed as much. – groaned Rainbow Dash – In that case, no help for you, until you think of something that is even a teeny tiny bit reasonable. Got that?-Nope! – said Ed, still happily-I knew this was too good to be true. These tickets cost a fortune… - said Rainbow Dash, flying away        Ed stood in place for a while, trying to comprehend what just happened, but soon gave up and continued his blissful “building”.        Meanwhile, in Edd’s house on the edge of Ponyville, the said pony was also working himself into the ground. He had a list of things he should build by the end of the day and continued executing it, hoping that he would find a purpose for them sooner or later. Unfortunately, it seemed more like “much, much later” – because for every machine built, he added at least two more to the list, and the solution didn’t seem any closer. And so his room slowly began filling up with cash registers, arcade machines, loudspeakers, lighting systems and other contraptions. Of course one could easily find a use for all those machines, but not Edd. All those times, successfully or not, he was building everything according to Eddy’s orders – and now he couldn’t plan anything on himself. After a few hours of frantic work, when the end of the to-build list touched his muzzle, despite the list being hung on the other side of the room, he finally stood up from his chair and looked around the room. The list was indeed going through the whole floor, and up on Edd’s desk. What’s more, there was no furniture at all! At first, he thought it may have been burglars or something, but soon he realized that all of the furniture went into the machines he was building – the same machines which were now taking up the rest of the room, which wasn’t already covered with the to-build list. He also noticed, that the chair he was sitting on was already a part-toaster, and the table was a drink dispenser lying on the floor. That was too much for Edd - and so he made himself a toast, bought a soda, and sat on the floor thinking.-Okay, Eddward, you’ve got to pull yourself together. – Edd said to himself – I think that’s enough with the building; let’s stop until it drives us both crazy.-Indeed. – replied Edd – Somepony has got to plan the scam for us; and we’re going get those plans, even if that shall make us perish!        They both started laughing maniacally, much to the horror of the Ponyville residents walking past their window.        At that time, Applejack and a tall, stalwart, brown-coated young Earth pony stallion with a short blue mane and a turnip cutie mark, were walking through a small coppice on the edge of Ponyville. They both seemed very confused. As they walked, they constantly turned their heads to get a better view of a pony prancing around them and talking frantically, trying to explain them something out of the huge sheet of paper he was holding.-So… Why are we here again? – asked Applejack-Yes! Hotshot Eddy keeps trying our patience. – said the tall stallion; he was wearing a yellow T-shirt with a horizontal red stripe        The pony, who was none other than Eddy, stopped for a while to explain, but in vain – he was still talking so fast, that Applejack and the stallion, not having understood a word, just nodded half-heartedly and continued walking.-And heeere… - Eddy stopped on a small meadow, talking slow enough to be understood – Here is the future building site of the Eddy Palace! Isn’t it beautiful? Just think of the money I’ll; I mean we’ll rake in! Now AJ, Rolfie Boy, you know what to do.        But they didn’t – not even a hint. Applejack didn’t want to disappoint Eddy, so she just asked:-And… Can we just have a look at the plan to visualize… uh… “it” better? – she smiled broadly, seeing Eddy’s disapproving expression-I don’t know… - said Eddy – Only I, as the main head chief manager of this scam, am permitted to lay eyes on the plan; and I think I’ve made myself clear enough on your part, haven’t I?        This was indeed an awkward situation. The “associates” just stood there without a word, until Rolf suddenly shouted:-Look! – Applejack and Eddy looked in the direction he was pointing – Is that a coin Rolf’s eyes see there, in the mountains?-A coin! I saw it first!!! – exclaimed Eddy and galloped to the mountain-You’re a genius, Rolf! – said Applejack-Rolf is humbled, thank you, but now we must look at the sacred plans before snake-in-the-grass Eddy comes back.        Applejack grabbed the sheet of paper. It was so big, that both Rolf and her had to unroll it simultaneously. How Eddy managed to do this by himself remained a mystery. They thought that they’d finally get a hint on what’s going on, but they were wrong.-Uh… Do you make a mane or tail of it? ‘Cause I don’t. – Applejack was disappointed with the chaotic layout of the plan-Rolf has also never been so confused! But we must not give up, as the all-knowing Ed boy isn’t yet even on half his way to the greed place! Rolf can see it clearly as the tentacles of Nana’s cutie mark. Quick! Bring us an enlargement glass.        And so they started studying the plan.        As the hours flew by, Ed’s scam didn’t get any more reasonable. The construction, however, was already the size of an average house. That’s about when Ed decided to stop building. Whether it was because Rainbow Dash had a bigger influence on him than Twilight, or simply because he ran out of “building materials”, he sat on a stump and began thinking – what can he do with such a house? Then, suddenly, he came upon an idea – an idea so great, so utterly brilliant, that it couldn’t possibly fail! Or at least that’s what he thought. He galloped to his house, and came back with a HUGE cannon. Everypony looked at him as he ran through the town carrying it on his back. Nopony, however, seemed eager to ask him what’s it for – they all just stepped aside. Once he got back to the meadow his scam was on, he mounted the cannon inside the house and removed the roof above it.-Oh my gosh! What’s with that cannon, Ed! – exclaimed Rainbow Dash, who was flying by again-It’s for my scam. It’s so pretty, isn’t it? – replied Ed-I… guess so, but what are you going to do with it? Shoot ponies out? – Rainbow Dash was just joking, but, unfortunately, Ed often doesn’t get jokes-Yeah! That’s my scam! Do you want to be first?-Well, now, I guess… - said Rainbow Dash as she backed off slowly – Glad that you’ve got the idea after all, but don’t you think it’s a bit… dangerous? Sure, I could do it, but, as we know, not all ponies are like me!-Aw, come on, it’s gonna be fun! – Ed kept on insisting-You might say so, but I don’t wanna be involved if anypony gets hurt. Are you sure it’s safe?-Safe as two plus two equals eight! – exclaimed Ed happily-Okay… - Rainbow Dash wasn’t quite convinced with Ed’s mathematics – So have fun with that cannon of yours, I’ll just go buy those tickets myself.        She tried to run away, but Ed grabbed her by the tail, saying:-Aw, shush! Here, you try it, and then you’ll see how fun it is.        Before she knew, Rainbow Dash was already in the cannon, the fuse lit. She tried to jump out, but Ed shoved her back in. When the fuse was almost off, Rainbow Dash asked:-Before I die, I have one question: where in Equestria is this cannon from?-My house! – said Ed happily – I collect junk.-JUNK? Oh Celestia! Have mercy, you assassin! – she cried, but it was too late        The cannon blew with a huge bang as Ed shouted “Don’t forget to write!”.        Meanwhile, Edd and Edd started their search for a plan. At first they just roamed Ponyville in hopes something would just get into their hooves, but soon they decided to take a more scientific approach – to do a survey.-Yes, that’s perfect! – muttered Edd, having finished writing the survey – Soon they will fall to our trap, and the plan will be ours! Mwahahahaha!-May I help you, sir? – asked a waiter of the restaurant Edd was sitting in        All customers were looking at Edd like at a maniac. This, however, didn’t discourage him at all. He grinned at the waiter, took out his survey and said:-Can you help us? Oh, yes, you can. What you’ll do is answer a few simple questions.-Of course, sir. – said the waiter with a bored expression-Ha! – Edd squealed with glee – First question: If you had ever stumbled across a lone drink dispenser, what would you do?-I’d recommend the Cherry Cooler, sir.-Cherry Cooler! Of course! – shouted Edd, scribbling in his notepad – Second question: What is the best use for a slot machine?-Just insert a token, sir.-Token! Why didn’t we think of that! – yelled Edd – Third question: In which kind of facility do loudspeakers find most use?-Somewhere where music is being played, sir.-Music discs! That’s brilliant! – exclaimed Edd – Fourth question: What does one need to do to install a lighting system properly?-For a starter I’d say wires, sir. But the trouble is, we don’t carry Cherry Cooler, we don’t carry slot machine tokens, we don’t carry music discs, and we don’t carry wires of any sort. If you need all those items, you’ll have to visit the general store across the street. – said the waiter-The general store! Our savior! The destination of our dreams! – shouted Edd in rapture, but the waiter stopped him:-Please desist, sir, as your outbursts are highly discouraging our clientele.        Half of the customers had indeed left after Edd came into the restaurant.-Worry not! We’ll leave this instant, as the general store awaits! And then, the world will be ours! Mwahahahaha!!! – Edd laughed maniacally and galloped out of the restaurant-Why do I always get those weird customers… - groaned the waiter and returned to his duties        Unfortunately for Edd (and Edd), the wondrous general store didn’t help him at all in his problems. He came out with a can of Cherry Cooler, twenty arcade tokens, a music disc and some wires, but, to his amazement, they weren’t the long-sought solution he had yearned for so.-I can’t believe he tricked us! – moaned Edd, sitting on the street with all his useless items – And he seemed like a sophisticated waiter, too! But we mustn’t give up. Our survey has failed, yet there is one other way to achieve our goal. And the way is called… Twilight Sparkle! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!        No wonder the street he was in emptied suddenly as he laughed.        At about that time, after an hour of careful studying, Applejack took a deep breath and said:-Okay now, from what I see there, Eddy wants to build a leisure lounge, of some sorts, and wants us to help with the actual building. What do you think of it, Rolf?-Rolf cannot hear you over the sound of his brain baking, o Apple maiden! – he was indeed lying on the ground by the plan with a tortured expression on his muzzle        That’s about when Eddy got back.-You need to buy yourself new eyes, Rolf! – he shouted angrily – I came to the exact place and found nothing. I dug, like, fifteen holes, and still nothing! And now all I got is this bottle cap I found on my way back. Is this your definition of money?-Have mercy on Rolf’s feeble mind… - Rolf wasn’t still fully recovered-What he meant to say, is that we can do the work for y’all! – Applejack quickly changed topic – That is, if you’re willing to reward us for our time.-Sure, what were you thinking. I’m not some kind of a cheapskate who halts payment… - said Eddy with a cute expression-Are you… sure? – asked Applejack, seeing Rolf nod his head frantically in disapproval-Are you kidding or what? – Eddy was annoyed by Applejack’s lack of trust – This scam is foolproof! The only thing that it needs is your help. With that, it is guaranteed to profit AT LEAST twentyfold! Here, you can read my calculations if you don’t believe me.        Eddy took another huge sheet of paper out of nowhere and threw it at Applejack.-No! I really don’t think it will be necessary. ‘Scuse me for a second! – she said and jumped to Rolf – What do you think of it, Rolf? – she whispered to him – You want to work for Eddy? We’ve got nothing to lose, anyway; and I couldn’t possibly live through another one of those paper sheets!-Rolf agrees. – he answered, and said aloud – We made our decision to join you, o scam-bearing Eddy boy! But Rolf must warn you, the line will be drawn at no lower than the radish from papa’s field.-Okay, chill out, Rolfie boy. Good ol’ Eddy won’t bite you! – laughed Eddy – Now let’s start working, time is money.-Won’t you give us some materials or something? – asked Applejack, looking around – We ain’t gonna build the palace out of thick air, after all.-What do you think I am? Some sort of brick fairy? – said Eddy – I’m the boss here, and the materials are to be supplied by the employees. It’s all in your contract, you know. – he took out yet another giant sheet of paper-But we ain’t plank fairies as well, mister know-it-all! – Applejack was getting annoyed – We can’t build until you give us something to build from; at least some bricks, or stones, or wood, or something.-Well, actually, I was thinking of concrete and marble, but if you want your materials so badly, I’ve got some of that stuff in my backyard, prepared for a rainy day. You can go fetch them. – Eddy replied, took out a lawn chair and sat on it – But don’t be long!        Applejack and Rolf set off to Eddy’s house, but they began having second thoughts – after all, they agreed to be workers, and not slaves! Ed and Edd were used to Eddy’s methods, but, unfortunately, they didn’t work as well with other ponies.        After Ed fired the cannon, Rainbow Dash was quite panicked at first as she zoomed through the air – but she quickly regained her cool. Even though a junk cannon was something a pony would not want to be shot out of, the results turned out to be not much different from flying – even better, as it was much faster. The ground quickly disappeared from below her as she flew above the clouds. That’s about when she began losing velocity. She took a quick look of the view from above the clouds before she started falling, and was just about to fly her way down, when, to her horror, she noticed that her wings were TIED to her side! That maniac Ed made sure she won’t cheat – and made a good job. Rainbow Dash tried to untie the rope with her teeth, but it was too late - she was hurtling toward the ground like a meteor, unable to avoid the collision. She closed her eyes and prepared for lots of hurt – but instead, she just stopped, heard a crash and an “Alley-oop!”, presumably by Ed. Having opened her eyes, she saw Ed, half driven into the ground, holding her with his hooves in the air.-How fun was that? – he asked happily-Err… Uh… - Rainbow Dash was still quite dazzled – I’ll say… I’ll say… I’ll say GREAT!!! That was awesome! The adrenaline was sure worth it! It’s times like this that make me believe that two plus two equals eight. I could participate in something like this, but first we should test it on somepony other than me, to see if anypony would actually go for it.-I wanna go now! – said Ed, having dug himself from the ground-No, we need somepony with the lowest courage possible, we need the minimum, we need…-But I don’t want to! – shouted Fluttershy, soon pushed by Ed and Rainbow Dash toward the junk house-Come on, Fluttershy! This is perfectly safe, and tons of fun, too. – said Rainbow Dash – We already tested it! You’ll be our survey-pony.-I’m not even good at surveys! Let me go! – cried Fluttershy-I think Fluttershy needs a demonstration, Ed. – Rainbow Dash stopped pushing-Oh! Oh! Can I finally go? – exclaimed Ed eagerly-Sure! See how eager Ed is, Fluttershy? – said Rainbow Dash – You can catch yourself, can’t you? – she asked Ed-Of course! I practiced. – he answered, jumping with excitement-O-Okay… As long as it delays my turn… - said Fluttershy        Ed got into the cannon, and Rainbow Dash lit the fuse. Everypony looked at the spark – Fluttershy with fear, Rainbow Dash with anticipation, and Ed with… well… maniacal excitement. As the spark went further, Ed shouted “Floaty clouds, here I come!”. The cannon blew yet again, but this time with not only a bang, but a thick cloud of smoke. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash hid behind some boxes, and when the smoke cleared up, the cannon was gone – just Ed, still standing there, and some pieces of metal lying on the ground.-Whee! I’m flying, like a pretty pigeon! – shouted Ed-Ed, you’re still on the ground. – said Rainbow Dash-I am? – Ed finally noticed that the cannon misfired – Oh no, the cannon is gone! But it was my turn!-Does… that mean I’m excused? – Fluttershy asked quickly-Yes, you are. – the moment Rainbow Dash agreed Fluttershy ran away – Ed, what happened to the cannon?-I don’t know what happened; I even loaded in a quadruple portion of gunpowder to make sure it works… - answered Ed-Quadruple? Where did you even get so much powder? – Rainbow Dash was amazed by Ed’s stupidity-In my junk collection! – Ed exclaimed happily – Do I win?-Not again… - groaned Rainbow Dash – It’s already too late to make another scam! I’m out of here...-Don’t go! – shouted Ed – We can still… uh…-I’m afraid we won’t make much money with “uhhhs”. You can still, I don’t know, go out there in hopes somepony will pay you for nothing after seeing your “house”. But for now, don’t call me until you get another cannon. – said Rainbow Dash and flew away-Somepony will pay me for nothing…? – Ed said to himself – That sound cool! Ponyville, here I come!        Unfortunately, you’ve got to be careful with what you say to Ed.        Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle was just going out of her door to meet with Pinkie Pie at the Sugarcube Corner. Spike was coming out with her. Little did they know they were being watched.-Perfect… - muttered Edd, who was in a nearby tree, watching the whole scene through binoculars – Those fools have no knowledge of our presence, and soon they’ll pay for their inattention as we deprive them of their plans! Heeheehee…        Twilight Sparkle locked the door and set off. The instant moment they went out of the range of sight, Edd jumped down from the tree he was on, nearly falling down on a pony below. He was wearing a ninja-like outfit, with lots of gear attached to it. His facial expression was even more maniacal than before.-This simple lock will never withhold us, it won’t! – he chuckled as he got closer to the door        Having taken out an automatized pick, Edd was about to undo the lock, but instead he bounced off an invisible wall. The place where he got hit sparkled with purple magic. Upon examining the phenomenon, he noticed a piece of paper taped to the door.-To the Eds - he readHaving anticipated your possible plotting, I’ve blocked my house with an invisible magical barrier that affects only the three of you. I won’t shut the barrier until you all report to me in person, so please turn back now.Twilight Sparkle.P.S. That means you, Edd.-Ha! – exclaimed Edd – Playing hard to get, are you, Twilight? Well then, I state your magic is hardly a match for us. Mwahahahaha!        As he laughed, he took out a hookshot, went around the house and fired it into an open window. The barrier was meant only for the Eds, so the hook went through it. Edd grabbed the rope and climbed the barrier to the top. And so, he stood on top of it, among the leaves and branches sticking out. He examined the barrier and noticed weak spots around the places where the branches went outside.-Saving energy, aren’t we, Twilight? One mistake after another… – he said and took out a chainsaw        The street filled with a sharp, deafening buzz as Edd cut away a small branch.-What the… - said Twilight, having heard the noise from Sugarcube Corner – That noise… It came from the direction my house is in! This doesn’t sound good at all. Excuse me, Pinkie, but I’d better go there and check if everything’s all right.-Can I go? I can be useful! – Pinkie Pie jumped to her side-Of course, but let’s hurry. – said Twilight and went out of the room-I think I can guess what it is… - muttered Spike, following them – The Edpocalypse is upon us!        Meanwhile, Edd had already broken through the barrier. When he had cut off the branch, it revealed to have a hole inside – Twilight set the barrier over non-solids only. The hole was too small, but Edd had crushed the weakened barrier around it away with his hooves; his determination gave him strength. When he was inside, he left the branch lying on the other ones and used his hookshot to climb down to the balcony. Its doors were closed as well, but he disposed of that problem quickly with his pick.-The die is cast… - he said as he entered the library        That’s about when Twilight, along with Pinkie and Spike, reached her house.-Gee, I hope it’s bandits, or monsters, or aliens, or bandits, or assassins, or somepony cool we could deal with! Don’t you, Spike? – Pinkie blabbered as Twilight opened the door-I’d rather it was all that than the Eds. – Spike said with exasperation        The moment Twilight opened the door, Edd was busy digging through her notes in search of the scam list. When he noticed somepony going in, he jumped behind a potted plant and waited there without a sound.-Anypony there? – Twilight shouted, but got no answer-If you’re bandits, nod once! – yelled Pinkie Pie – And if you’re monsters, nod twice!-The barrier was breached, so it must be one of the Eds. You go to the cellar, Spike, and I’ll check my notes. You stay here, Pinkie.-They didn’t nod at all! – said Pinkie – Then they must be assassins.        When Twilight got to her notes and began to look for intruders, Edd took out a slingshot and shot a metal pellet into the open basement door.-Twilight! – Spike shouted, having heard the noise – Something moved in there!-I’m coming. – Twilight replied and trotted to the basement        Once she disappeared behind the door, Edd quickly grabbed his hookshot and fired it at Twilight’s stack of notes, meaning to pull them into his hiding place. Unfortunately, he had completely forgotten about Pinkie Pie – who, having noticed the fired hook, jumped to that place and caught the notes from the other side. Seeing Edd’s outfit, she exclaimed “An assassin! I knew it!” and began struggling against his hookshot.-No, you don’t! – Edd shouted – May nopony stand between us and our goal!-“Us”? – said Pinkie – So there’s more of you?        However, the machine soon turned out to be stronger and pulled the notes toward Edd. He aimed the hookshot at the ceiling and prepared to escape, but Pinkie was pulled toward him along with the notes! And so the defending mare got rammed into the head of the unrealized spy at full velocity, knocking him out.-Come, Twilight! It’s an assassin! He’s got a whole army! – shouted Pinkie Pie, pinning down Edd-Did he teleport? – said Spike, running up the stairs with Twilight – Wow, he’s good!        Meanwhile, Edd came round – only one Edd. When he saw the notes in his hooves and Pinkie Pie practically strangling him, he gasped with anxiousness.-Oh dear, what have I done? – he thought – I must have gone temporarily insane and tried to steal Twilight’s scam list. I’d better give those notes back, apologize and…-Get that thief! – exclaimed Twilight as she got out of the basement        Having heard Twilight’s voice, Edd completely lost his cool.-I’m out of here! – he said        And so he took out his most powerful weapon – the feather duster – and used it on Pinkie Pie. The treatment wasn’t long – after three seconds she was already rolling on the floor, squealing with laughter. Fortunately, Edd didn’t forget his ninja equipment – he fired the hookshot at the ceiling, got onto the balcony, jumped out through the hole in the barrier, glued the branch back in place, and before anypony knew, was already far away from Twilight’s house.-So it’s Edd again. Have patience, Twilight, the day is almost over. – she muttered to herself-Pinkie, he’s not tickling you anymore! He’s gone! – Spike said to Pinkie Pie, who was still laughing-I know, but it’s fun! – she replied, getting up from the floor        Edd’s plans had failed, so he decided to go set up the scam anyways and try to sell the random contraptions he built.        When Edd was locked in his epic battle, Applejack and Rolf continued their slavery duties for Eddy. Having arrived at Eddy’s house, they noticed that there was indeed a big pile of planks and bricks lying in the backyard, just enough to build a small “palace” for Eddy. The trouble was, how were they supposed to drag it to the building site? Eddy’s instructions were clear: “If you have any questions, don’t bother asking me, think something out by yourself.”-Now what do we do? – said Applejack, quite concerned – If we don’t get this here stuff to Eddy on time, he’ll get us fired for sure.        Rolf started inspecting the building materials.-Fear not! – he said – For Rolf has an idea…        After some time, they both arrived at the meadow Eddy was on. All the building materials were in a wooden cart, quickly put together from some of the planks, pulled by Rolf and pushed by Applejack. Considering their improvised transport, they made it in great time – but apparently, great is not enough for Eddy.-There you are! What took you? – he complained-Sorry, boss, but that was the fastest we could. – answered Applejack-Well, it’s still too slow for my standards. – Eddy continued – And what’s with those materials? Couldn’t you bring more?        Rolf kicked the cart, breaking it into single planks. Eddy was less than satisfied, though.-Was that it? I need more materials! – he carried on with his crazy demands-Those are all supplies we were given, all-too-wise Ed boy! – said Rolf-Well then, uh… - Eddy lost a little confidence-Listen here, mister big boss. – Applejack cut in – Don’t y’all get carried away with your supremacy, or we’ll just quit. We aren’t slaves, after all!-Quit? But how? But… The cash! – Eddy was astonished by the possibility of one rejecting money-But nothing! – Applejack cut in – From now on, we’d like to be treated more fair as workers. You wouldn’t want the Labor Union to get to you, now would you?-The Labor Union! – Eddy gasped with fear – I mean… Of course… - the Labor Union was a blow below the bridle for him-So we got a deal? – asked Applejack-Sure, okay, yeah, right, of course, naturally, certainly, absolutely… - he started babbling, but Applejack cut in:-Okay, we get the point. So now, where do we start?-Build the walls as in the plan, and then lay out the floor. – Eddy said, smiling cutely, and, seeing his workers turn away, mumbled to himself – Cursed laborers, always trying to go the easy way! But they’ll rue the moment they messed with me…        And so, the Eddy Palace slowly began to rise on the meadow. The plans had to be cut down a little - much to Eddy’s disappointment- because of the time shortage, but still it turned out pretty neat for something built in mere hours. Rolf and Applejack made a very good job, in hopes that the more customers it attracts, the higher their pay will be. When the palace was ready, they returned to Eddy. Their boss was sitting on the lawn chair, reading a newspaper.-We’re done, Eddy! – said Applejack-Yes! We built it quicker than it takes for Rolf’s nana to peel the beets for dinner. – completed Rolf-Maybe later, I’m still on the Sports section… You did? Of course! – exclaimed Eddy happily – Now then, thank you very much for your effort, but that’s where your part ends; I can supply the interior on my own. Goodbye! – he said, backing away to the Eddy Palace slowly-“Goodbye”? Not so fast, Mr. Boss! – Applejack cut in – Aren’t y’all forgetting our payment? Weren’t we supposed to get a part of the profit money? ‘Cause it seems to me like you’re trying to wriggle out of it…-Ah that, yeah, sure… - Eddy tried to buy some time to scoot slowly towards the palace – I’m sure that your reward will indeed be considered…-“Indeed considered”? – Applejack was getting more and more suspicions – This doesn’t sound quite legit to me. Just confirm our payment, for Pete’s sake!        Having noticed how Eddy is backing off faster and faster, Applejack and Rolf started following. The boss was getting more and more nervous as he said:-I assure you that I wouldn’t refuse a rightful reward for such loyal workers…        Eddy carried on, despite nopony believed him anymore. To his luck, that was just about when he got to the palace’s door. And so, before anypony knew, he whizzed inside and locked the door.-Except you aren’t “loyal workers” of mine anymore! – he shouted from the window, tearing the contract into pieces – No crying will help you now, ‘cause I’ve got the upper hoof. The Eddy Palace is invincible! Now then, all you have left is to accept your fate and go home. Suckers!        Rolf and Applejack stood there for a while with their mouths wide open, but they soon regained their cool.-Drat! I should’ve known better than to trust that trickster. – said Applejack-You’ve got that right! – Eddy taunted her in reply – Unfortunately, you two made too much of a good job building it. Just go and try to wreck it if you dare!        Applejack tried to kick the wall a few times with no result, but Rolf stopped her.-Do not strain yourself on those innocent bricks. – Eddy continued – Unless you bring a cannon, in which I doubt, nothing can destroy my fortress!-Wait a minute… - Applejack came upon an idea – You don’t have a cannon, do you?-No, what are you… - replied Eddy and momentarily lost his cool seeing Applejack and Rolf bring more planks and board up the doors and windows – Are you trying to… You are… No, don’t…! Stop it!        Before he knew it, his palace was already surrounded tight with spare planks and logs. His ex-workers left only a small hole in the barricade to talk with him.-How about now, not-so-tricky Ed boy? – Rolf said through the slit – Still so greedy?        In reply, Eddy shouted out a long sequence of words, not quite suitable for print. Applejack and Rolf, however, were less than concerned.-You can say what you want, but sooner or later y’all have to surrender! – replied Applejack happily – I don’t quite recall you making food supplies.        And so the besiegers brought Eddy’s lawn chair to his prison, sat down and started waiting. Meanwhile, Eddy was thinking about some way to get out. How could his ultimate plan ever have failed? Yet still, out of pure stubbornness, he didn’t even think of surrendering; he’d rather tear the whole building to pieces – and so he did. Not quite known for patience, Eddy pulled out a metal rod from one of the window frames to use as a crowbar. He started crushing the plaster on the walls and pulling out the bricks, one by one. This took him some time, but Applejack and Rolf had more of that stuff than they could’ve ever wanted. He inspected them every now and then through the slit in the barricade – and every time he saw them completely relaxed, sitting on the ground and reading his newspaper. And every time Applejack saw his face in the hole, she shouted:-Anytime you’re ready, boss!        This only further enraged him – he pulled out the bricks faster and faster, until the whole front wall was gone, leaving only a few small pillars of bricks left to support the roof and, of course, another wall of planks and logs. He tried smashing it with his improvised crowbar, but it broke in contact with the heavy wood. And so he started trotting around the palace furiously in search of something that would help him break free. Fortunately, his ex-workers left a saw in the building – and that filled Eddy’s heart with joy more than any jawbreaker he would find. He couldn’t cut a (relatively) flat surface with it, but he had a much better plan…-What is this faint thumping Rolf’s ears hear? – Rolf noticed a strange sound– Is it Nana mashing the cabbage again?-It’s coming from the palace! – replied Applejack – I don’t know about y’all, but I don’t think this is going to be pretty… - she said as the thumping got louder and louder        Soon, single planks started falling off from one of the barricade’s walls.-I’ll be darned! He’s still coming through! – shouted Applejack and tried to hold the crumbling wall with her hooves        Rolf, however, didn’t help her at all. He just stood there with a sly expression. Seeing that, Applejack instantly knew what he was up to – and stopped supporting the barricade. After a while, they heard Eddy scream “Top THAT now!!!” and the barricade’s wall burst into bits, revealing him holding an improvised ram made out of a wooden beam. At first he acted triumphant, but then, seeing Rolf and Applejack’s calm expressions, lost his cool.-What the… Why are you smiling like that! – he exclaimed nervously – Is there something on my muzzle or what? I destroyed the brick wall and smashed your puny barricade with my ram…-Made out of the support beam. – finished Applejack with a broad smile-Made of what? – said Eddy surprised        He didn’t quite understand what was going on at first, but, seeing the roof wobble dangerously, he shouted “I’m out of here!”, jumped to his ex-workers and watched the mighty Eddy Palace crumble into rubble before their eyes.-That’s what you get for cheating your employees. – said Applejack – We’re sorry, boss, but no pay means no service! I hope this will be a lesson for y’all.-Don’t be so confident, for hotshot Eddy never learns; his stubbornness can be compared only to the heaviness of mama’s stuffed yams! – replied Rolf and, along with Applejack, went away, leaving Eddy in shock-But… the palace… the money… - he babbled in horror        And so, left alone by his workers, Eddy completely lost his cool. He started calling for help, but no response. Then he tried to rebuild the palace by himself. He strained and struggled, built and assembled all the afternoon. When the sun started setting, he looked at the fruit of his work – a majestic, glorious, breathtaking, small, short, trashy wooden fence. Seeing all that awesomeness compressed tightly into this less-than-usable pile of planks, he groaned in frustration and kicked it over.-What am I going to do now! – he said to himself – I’ll just have to go to town with my plans and then think of something. Yeah, that’s a good idea… I’ll cope someway… someway…        None of his world-famous confidence was left in his voice.