Hoax-Ed!

Chapter V – The good scam

        Before the Eds could launch their doomsday scams into each other, none other than Twilight Sparkle and Rarity appeared at the side of the square, brought back there by Spike. The moment Twilight saw the whole setup, she screamed:-Ed! Edd! Eddy! What in Celestia’s name are you doing???        The Eds all looked at her and calmed down a bit. They looked at each other and their scams, and started having second thoughts. Maybe this really was a bit too much? After a moment of silence, Eddy said slowly:-You know, maybe we’ll just call it a day. We all stink, but that’s no reason to wreck our scams so ultimately. Let’s just agree for that draw.-You can’t hear me complaining. – Edd replied with a dejected tone-I’m hungry… - Ed muttered, yawned and stretched        It all would’ve ended that way, but, to everypony’s horror, while stretching, Ed unintentionally bumped the pile of rubble on his platform, making it lean over slightly and pull the whole platform with it toward Edd and Eddy.-ED!!! – screamed everypony in the square-What? – said Ed, who didn’t notice that at first        Edd and Eddy looked at each other for a moment and both shouted:-I’m out of here!        They managed to jump out of the way of Ed’s platform as it went faster and faster, but nopony could stop it; and so it crashed right into Edd’s ram. A deafening noise reverberated as the whole square inside the barrier’s walls momentarily filled with dense smoke. Everypony tried to see what was going on inside, but the smoke was too thick.-This is bad… - said Twilight and, along with Rarity, turned off the magical barrier        The smoke slowly faded away as Twilight, Rarity and Spike ran into the crash site. The whole crowd was very worried, until Twilight shouted:-Everypony’s okay! They’re safe!        And so the dust eventually lifted, revealing Ed, Edd and Eddy sitting on the pile of building materials and random machines. Fortunately, the crash didn’t send any debris outward. All three had an extremely dazzled expression.-Are you all right? – said Spike, waving his hand before their eyes with no response-Excuse me, if I may ask… - Edd muttered slowly – What was that all about?-I’m not sure… - replied Eddy – I think it was some kind of a concert…-A concert, yeah… - said Edd-And there was that buttered toast… - finished Ed-I’ll say, this was pretty unnecessary… - muttered Eddy-The buttered toast…? – said Ed-It think it’s time. – Twilight thought – Ed? Edd? Eddy? – she said aloud – There is one thing I wanted to tell you all from the very start; and I did, I told it many times, but you always failed to listen. You can see what had happened to you by now, don’t you? You admit your mistake now, don’t you? Well, then I think you know what I mean. Earlier today you could accuse me of questioning your methods, but now you see that splitting up never did you any good. I’m not doing this to point out your mistakes; I’m trying to help you. Maybe you did fail when you were together, but don’t you see that your present failure is much more extreme? Your scams are destroyed, you are sitting there, all mangled up. I never wanted this for you; and none of this would have happened if you worked as a team in the first place. Ed, you used to complain that Edd and Eddy use you at every turn. But now you see, that, while they needed your strength, it’s them who gave it shape and form. Edd, you always told that Ed and Eddy crippled your potential with their ideas; but now you realized, that they also spared you the planning and physical labor you despise so much. And Eddy, while you complained that Ed and Edd didn’t always understand your ideas, they were in fact the only thing that could bring them to life. Now that you understand it all, do you… have anything to say? – she looked at them with a hint of expectancy        And so she can’t quite be blamed for her jaw dropping almost to the ground when Eddy muttered:-Say what?-Nevermind that. – Ed said happily – I’m sorry I double knock-knocked your doohickeys, Double D.-Please don’t mind that, Ed. – replied Edd – Those were just a small bunch I managed to transport here; I’ve still got a quite satisfying amount at home. And Eddy, please forgive me for detonating your palace.-‘Twas nothing, really. – said Eddy – I admit that there wasn’t really anything to wreck there, so I guess you aren’t guilty at all, especially that the plans are safe. Ed, are you mad at me for smashing your house?-Not at all, it was a piece of toast with butter to build. I can do it again, see? – Ed replied blissfully, shuffling through the pile of materials        Twilight finally gave up.-Well, I guess if everypony’s happy, I’m happy too. – she said with a broad smile – But what about your concert?-Heck with the concert. – said Eddy – Their music airs on the radio, anyway.-The only thing that concerns me is that the scams we’ve made have gone to waste. – replied Edd-Or have they…? – said Twilight        She walked over to Eddy’s plans, still lying on the ground, inspected Ed’s materials and looked at the remaining of Edd’s devices.-Say, Eddy, those are some nice plans you’ve got there. If somepony were to execute them, it would be a great scam. – she said-Yeah, right, but how? – Eddy wasn’t quite convinced-Look at this: Ed’s got materials; Edd’s got facilities. However, neither of them has got an idea on how to use their resources. Doesn’t this give you all an idea?-I know! – exclaimed Ed-Yes, Ed? – said Twilight-Let’s eat a buttered toast. – he answered and, seeing Twilight’s exasperated expression, added – With gravy!-Or maybe some popcorn! – Spike exclaimed happily-Yum! – replied Ed – Popcorn is good too, especially with eggplant sauce and…-Let’s delay the eating for later, okay? – laughed Twilight-Seriously, now that I think of it, we’ve made quite a good job on our parts of the scam. – said Edd – If we succeed in joining them now, maybe we’ll finally produce a scam that actually gives profit!-Exactly! – replied Twilight – Now get to it; you don’t want to keep everypony waiting long for your Ed Palace, now do you?        And so, this time not the Eddy Palace nor a random junk house, but the Ed Palace began to rise on the square. The construction went really quick with Ed’s strength and all the materials at hoof. What’s more, Eddy’s plans turned out to be actually very clear and specific when he read them to Ed and Edd, the workers who understood them best. Edd changed the architectonic layout a bit, so that it was much simpler to build with Ed’s basic materials. The devices he built also filled the interior of the palace. Twilight and Rarity helped as well with their magic, and so, in a truly award-worthy speed the building was complete. Even though it was made from simple planks, boxes and sheets of metal stacked on each other, it looked really neat. Everypony looked at it with curiosity. At that hour not many ponies were usually out the streets, unless it was a special occasion – and everypony already knew THIS was one of them.-Say, that looks pretty awesome! – said Eddy with satisfaction-I concur, it is indeed impressive. – replied Edd-And I’m Ed! – exclaimed Ed-See? That’s what I told you. – Twilight Sparkle completed happily – The most important thing is teamwork.-Oh, but it looks so bare and bland… - said Rarity – I know! I shall make it truly picturesque with my ribbons and banners! – she exclaimed and trotted away-Rarity! – shouted Twilight as she got away – You really needn’t…-What? – Rarity stopped for a while – As long as I can take them back afterward, that’s really no fuss, darling.-Whatever you say… - replied Twilight        Seeing Rarity run away, Eddy began thinking. After a while he yelled “I’ve got it!” and started talking quickly:-I’ve got an awesome idea! Twilight said that teamwork can achieve more. It really did, and that was just the teamwork of the three of us. Now think what we could do if we could get more ponies to help us!-We could make the Ed Palace open for contributions for a share of the profit. – Edd reacted enthusiastically-Well, it could’ve been done without the share, but let’s do it! – replied Eddy-Now that’s what I call a fast learner. – said Twilight – Good luck with that, and I’ll see if I can fetch my other friends.-Well, Rainbow Dash could come; she was here earlier after all… - said Spike – Wait a minute… - he suddenly lost his cool – I’ve forgot all about her! She’s still in that store! Can’t stay, bye! – he said and ran away        And so the Ed Palace was open for business; and business did go well. Once Rarity came back with the decorations, many ponies paid to stay there, relax, chat with their friends or play the arcade machines; but even more were eager to make a contribution. As for Twilight, she was pretty lucky; Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were still outside, and when they heard about a scam by the Eds that’s actually good, curiosity got the best of them and they followed Twilight into the square. When they got there, Spike was there as well, along with Rainbow Dash.-For the last time, Rainbow Dash, they’re all too busy with the Eds’ scam to deal with you! – said Spike with annoyance – And even if they weren’t, I bet they all had already forgotten all about that case.-If you say so… - Rainbow Dash replied insecurely – Oh, hey there, girls! – she exclaimed when she noticed Twilight and the others – You’re here to see the Eds’ scam, too? I mean, a case like this comes, like, once in a century!-Yeah, and I’ll say I’m kinda glad they went and made something less… random for a change. - replied Applejack-Random is an understatement if talking about what I’ve seen! – laughed Rainbow Dash – Wait a minute… Fluttershy? – she just noticed the Pegasus standing on the side of the group – That cannon is broken, Fluttershy! It won’t fire anymore!-Well, fine, that’s what you say… - replied Fluttershy, who had a big umbrella attached to her back and a pillow tied to her head – But you wouldn’t be so confident if somepony fell on you and broke your back.        And so Twilight and her friends joined the party at the Ed Palace. By then it could’ve already been called a palace with a light heart; they had so many contributions made and so many guests, that they had to enlarge the palace with an exterior area. Daisy, Lily and Roseluck contributed many nice potted flowers. Caramel brought some chairs and benches better than those they had. Vinyl Scratch took care of the music. Amethyst Star helped Edd repair some of his devices. Pinkie Pie and Applejack brought some cakes and other food to sell. A worker of Quills and Sofas even lent them two real sofas! And those are only examples.        Everypony was having such a good time that they didn’t notice that the Mayor, who already got back to Ponyville, came to the town square; not that the new building surprised her that much, but she obviously had something important to say. However, nopony seemed to listen. After a few moments of trying to draw some attention, she got annoyed, walked right to the music stand and scratched the record so loud that everypony in and around the palace instantly looked at her.-Please forgive me for that, but there seemed to be no other way of drawing the attention of everypony at once right now. – she spoke – I’ve just returned from Canterlot with an important announcement, and, seeing so many of you here, I decided to tell it now. Please repeat to everypony who’s not present here at the moment, that the concert of the band 4Hooves, scheduled for tomorrow, had been called off; they broke our contract in favor of a concert in Fillydelphia. I’m terribly sorry for any trouble, the ticket money will be returned tomorrow in the town hall.        She expected to see disappointment throughout the crowd, but, to her surprise, nopony seemed to bother; they all just nodded and returned to their own business. After a while of inspecting the palace, she met Twilight.-Good evening, miss Mayor! – she greeted her-Hello, Twilight. – the Mayor answered – I’ve been curious to ask somepony; what is this building? I don’t recall something like this standing in the town square at all. Did I miss that much?-Don’t worry, miss Mayor. – Twilight answered – It’s kind of a party; we’ll dismantle it tomorrow morning, okay?-Well, I guess as long as nopony seems to mind, that’s fine to me.        And so the party lasted until, one after another, everypony got tired, took away their contributions and returned home. They all were all content and eager to do it again sometime. Ed, Edd and Eddy ended up having earned very little money due to sharing the profit with all the contributors, but they were never so happy about a scam like they were about this one. Once everypony except the Eds, Twilight Sparkle and Spike had already left the square, Twilight asked the Eds:-You know what? Before we go home, I’d like to ask you something. Every once in a while, my friends and I write letters to Princess Celestia about our experiences in friendship; and I thought, maybe you’d like to help me with this one. What do you think?-For Princess Celestia? Us? – Eddy muttered slowly, and then started shouting – Who-hoo! For Princess Celestia! Gentlecolts, we’re writing a letter to Princess Celestia! We’re FAMOUS!-Like walnuts? – Ed said happily-Oh dear, but I can’t do it like this, I must get prepared… - Edd babbled excitedly-Okay, okay, just don’t get carried away. – laughed Twilight – Spike, prepare for transcribing, please.        When the dragon took out a quill and a parchment handed to him by Edd, Twilight started dictating the letter:“Dearest Princess Celestia        Today I went through a story so long and messed up, that I’m not going to recount it, not to get you bored. What matters, is that it was an opportunity to learn yet another important lesson about friendship, as well as meet some ponies to tell you about it.”        She nodded at the Eds, and Eddy started speaking:“Overconfidence ain’t a good thing, not at all. Sometimes you may think that you’re the best, and everypony around don’t know squat, same goes with the ones who try to help you; ‘cause since they’re way worse than you, what good are their efforts? If they don’t do everything exactly as you want, what use are they?”        Edd carried on from there:“Once establishing the said point of view, one will rather work on one’s own, rather than asking his friends for assistance. But in reality, nopony is able to do everything at top-notch grade. Therefore, even when one complains about the low quality of his friends’ work, it doesn’t necessarily imply that one can do it all better.”        The last part was dictated by Ed:“And so we must admit that nopony is perfect, even if we’re a super-pony from outer space! If our friends aren’t good enough, we mustn’t just say >>no thanks<<. Everypony’s good at something, so our friends’ help lets us do things that we can’t do alone. Teamwork is the key! And so, one drop of gravy we make with our friends is better than a tanker of gravy we make alone.”        The letter was signed by Twilight:“Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle;        And her faithful students, Ed, Edd and Eddy.”“P.S.Buttered toast!”Afterword from the author: Oh colt, my first My Little Pony fanfiction! Finishing it sure filled my heart with rainbows and fuzzy blankets with little fringes on them. Anyway, I hope you had as much fun reading it, as I had writing it; and it was really quite a blast for me. However, I’m sorry if you ever got bored by its unnecessary length. Oh well!