Ringing… All I could hear was ringing, nothing in the entire universe existed besides that ear-piercing ringing. I didn’t wish for it to stop, it was comfortable to not know what was going on. Unfortunately, reality will come back to you eventually, it always does.

“Octavia!!” I felt a stallion's oil-covered hooves shake me back into cold reality, “Octavia swing the gun!”

I tore myself out of my daze, and reached for the electronic handwheel to my side, “Turn the gun to 210, South South West'' The stallion’s screaming voice was but a peep between the gunfire from outside and the constant grumble of our own engine.

I began to spin the hand wheel to the left, sparking the tank turret to life, it slowly began to turn left at a glacial pace. I looked down at the sights of our turret and watched as the crosshair scanned the grassy terrain in front of me.

“Load in AP!” I heard the commander above me yell out, it was quickly followed by the metallic clunk of the gun breach mere inches away from my ears. “Prepare for fire!”

The rotating gun revealed the behemoth we were facing, a changeling heavy, a tiger. I felt my heart skip a beat, it was a large menacing unfeeling black machine, armed with a gun longer than our entire tank, pointing right at us.

The sight’s crosshair finally stopped right on the grumbling beast, I felt my heart skip a beat. I whipped a trickle of blood from my face and steadied the crosshair onto the beast while trying my best to ignore my pounding heart. Once the gun was aligned I gave the commander the single “Ready to fire!”

The commander did not hesitate “FIRE!”

I pressed my right hoove on the trigger below me and our gun exploded to life, a red hot shell zoomed toward the tiger, and for a second, just a second, I felt hope flow through me. That hope was quickly drained when our defiant shell bounced harmlessly off the monster’s armor.

My blood froze, every sense in my body told me to run despite the fact I had nowhere to run, I was in a giant metal box, about to explode.

The commander yelled in desperation “Put another one in the breach Star Be-!”

He never finished his sentence, the beast’s gun flashed, and everything went dark.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

I felt hot, everything felt so hot, was I burning? Am I even alive? Am I in Tartarus? I opened my eyes. Fire, all I saw was fire, I was burning, oh my Celestia I was burning! Adrenaline rushed to every part of my body, I had to run, I had to get away. Every sense of my body told me to run. Without thinking I started to push myself away from my small gunners' compartment. A singular thought suddenly popped into my mind, the commander’s hatch, the only exit in this small cramped vehicle, I had to get to it, I had to escape.

I pushed myself upwards towards the escape, trying my best to control my violent coughs. My lungs burned, it was like I was burning from the inside out, every cough flared out a hot scorching flame in my throat, before leaving a lingering dryness of heat and despair. I was able to move to a half-standing position in the compartment before I pushed into a wet patch of fur above me, I did not care what was there, I just had to get it out of the way. I rose my hooves and with all my strength I pushed the object upwards.

It budged just slightly, but it was far too heavy for me, I pushed even harder, with everything I had, “Please move damn it!” The smoke was becoming unbearable, I could feel my sweat and tears begin to bubble and boil on my fur. My hind legs suddenly explode in pain as the fire burnt through the fur and seared my exposed skin. I began to scream, I had to keep pushing, I had to keep pushing, I am going to die.

Then suddenly it moved, the weight blocking my exit moved upwards, and out of the hatch above. I gripped the seat positioned slightly above my own and used it as leverage to climb. I then immediately frantically grabbed the sides of the top hatch and pulled my burning body out of the wreckage. I rolled off the top of the burning wreck and fell to the hard dirt floor. I immediately began rolling back and forth trying my best to put out the fire quickly growing to my upper body. My mind only processed 3 words, 3 words that were drilled into our heads at boot camp.

Stop, drop, and roll, stop, drop, and roll.

I felt rock and metal slice through my burning skin, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of boiling alive. I screamed, out in pain and agony, part of me wanted to die, for everything to just stop.

But slowly, the boiling began to fade, I finally felt my breathing again. I started to feel something lightly pattering on my skin, followed by light sizzling. I lifted my head out of the dirt and looked up at the sky, the clouds had darkened. I suddenly felt something hit my eye, it was light, nothing but a small irritation, but it cause me to instinctually close it and turn away from the sky, it was a raindrop, it was raining. My legs still screamed in pain, but it was becoming bearable, at least a little bit, I had luckily put the fire out.

I looked back toward our tank, it was on fire, thick black smoke bellowed out of the open top hatch, and on the ground next to it were the torn remains of my commanding officer.

“Sergeant Rain Pop…”

I turned away and tried in vain to puke out the contents of my empty stomach, all that I was able to excrete were empty gags. He was cut in half, intestines were hanging out of the upper half of the body, and his stomach lining was plastered disgustingly on the dirt. His eyes were staring right at me, they were completely blank, cold, lifeless and so unnaturally still, he was my friend, I trusted him, and now he is gone.

I tried to turn away and run, I scrambled to get on all four hooves, but as soon as I tried my hind legs screamed in pain, causing me to collapse back into the dirt. I rolled down onto my back and turned my head up to observe the damage. My entire body was covered in splats of blood. The fur on my hind legs had completely burnt off, and the blazing flame had burnt a considerable amount into my skin, leaving it charred and burnt beyond recognition.

A tear flowed down my face, followed by another, and then yet another. I was crying alone in the rain, I was going to die alone in the rain, with no one by my side. I was never going to see Vinyl again, I was going to break my promise to her. I am going to die.

I wanted to scream in pain, but I barely had the energy to anymore, I just lay on the dirt letting out slow heavy sobs. I was going to die alone…

Then I heard something, a low rumble, there was something approaching me, a vehicle. Had help arrived, was I saved? I rose my head slightly and saw a truck growing on the horizon. I felt a smile pierce my face, maybe help really had arrived. The smile broke immediately once the truck was close enough for me to see its markings, and I immediately shut my eyes and went limp on the road, silently praying that it won’t run me over.

The loud engine grew closer and closer and closer, it was going to run me over, I am going to be road kill. The engine’s rumble completely filled my ear, and then, it stopped.

“Wait in the truck, I got to take a piss.” The voice I heard was harsh, deep, and broken, the words were made up of unnatural sounds that ponies can never make.

I heard a door click open, and a large weight jumped into the dirt right next to me “Shit, almost stepped on one of em”

I heard another voice, respond, this one was softer, yet the words were still equally broken and unnatural “Looks like big Beth did a number on them…”

“Nothing more than what Celestia’s prostitutes deserve.” I heard a harsh wicked laugh come from the changeling merely a foot away, I fought against my pounding heart and rising panic to lay as still as possible.

I felt something warm begin to run down the fur on the back of my head, it only took seconds for me to process what it was, I felt the urge to gag, and punch the changeling in the face rush through me, but I had to keep still. I began to distract myself by reciting the notes of the Hoovetovens 7th symphony, it was the first song I ever played in front of a crowd, it was the song that drew Vinyl to me, and it was going to be the song to keep me still and alive.

“Vraks, you are disgusting show some respect for the dead!” It sounded like the softer voice scoffed.

“Pfff- Respect? These things are glorified love bags.” The harsher voice let out an even more sinister chuckle, “You know half these fucks, don’t even respect themselves, they would give you love for a chocolate bar.”

Each note of the melody repeated constantly in my head, I began to scream each note in my mind, to try to repress my disgust, anger, and terror.

“Shut up, that's not true”

“If this mare were alive, I am willing to bet she would.”

The softer changelings sighed, “Only 40 more kilometers to Canterlot, and the thing I looked forward to the most at the end of the war is getting away from you.”

The disgusting warm liquid finally stopped flowing on my fur, but the residue clung tightly to my gray fur, causing it to become sticky and hard. I could only imagine how much more disgusted I would be if this happened to me before the war, but right now I was just relieved he had stopped.

“Will you hurry up, our hive brothers need these supplies.”

“Oh stop being so serious, pass me a smoke would you?”

The softer voice groaned, “Get the fuck in here…”

The harsher voice crackled “They can wait for me to have a smoke, now hand me a fucking smoke, or I tell those Changelings about what I caught you doing yesterday.”

I felt my heart rate start to calm, as I heard the changeling, turn away from me, and start to make loud muddy steps toward the growling truck. What are my options? If I stayed here, I would just slowly die alone, if not by a changeling patrol, then slowly and painfully from my likely infected wounds or dehydration. The truck next to me has supplies, if I could just grab them, I could maybe stitch up my wounds, disinfect them, and get food and water. Do changelings even need those? I hope they do.

But… if I get caught.

Images of the hoard of fleeing love-drained ponies flashed through my eyes, they all stumbled in a giant mass, ignoring the Equestrian soldiers trying to help them. Their eyes were lifeless, they had become physically colorless, they could no longer feel anything, they had no emotions left, it was a fate worst than death.

“You seem interested in the gray one?” The harsh voice threw me out of my thought, and it only took a moment for me to realize they were referring to me. I felt my entire body clench still, everything in my system just froze. They had not seen me move? Have they?

“It’s… nothing, just seems a little odd,”

“Pretty one ain’t she, shame you couldn’t get her while she was alive, you know some ponies are better than just love bags if you know what I mean.” The harsh voice let out a low cold cackle. The second one did not laugh. Was he still staring at me? I did not dare to find out.

“Alright I am tired of staring at the wreck, let's get going” I heard the truck engine spark to life followed by a slamming door.

This was my chance, my only chance, I took a slow breath in, mustering the little courage and energy I had left, it was now or nothing. I then finally opened my eyes, and the image of Rain Pop’s cold dead eyes imminently greeted me once again, causing my heart to skip a beat, but I held back my shock and focused on what I had to do. I rolled my body to face the changing truck.

The large truck had a looming presence over me, its shadow blotted out the rays of sunlight that broke through the clouds behind it, it almost felt like it was alive and watching me. I only saw the truck, I could still hear the changelings but they were behind the truck doors, the only thing the truck windows revealed was the dark black ceiling of the interior. They were inside, and the truck was loud.

I raised my two good forelegs and started crawling through the dirt slowly, dragging my body across the muddy Equestrian dirt. My burnt hindlegs cried out in pain and begged for me to stop. I ignored it and kept dragging, I passed the first tire, then the second, and soon I was right at the rear of the vehicle. The interior of the back was only covered by a simple tarp. I struggled towards and lifted my hoove towards the base of the interior, but it was far too tall, there was no stepping rail. You had to climb in order to get in physically, could I climb this? oh Celestia, could I climb this in time?

“Did you hear something?” I heard a soft voice echo from the front of the truck.

“I don’t know you check”

A sudden sense of panic rushed over me, I tried to stand just slightly so I could get a grip and climb, but they were refusing to comply.

This can’t be happening not like this.

I heard a door click open, he was coming.

I groaned, trying to summon the remaining energy to take this one final step to safety. My hoofs began to hurt, and my brain was becoming foggy.

I began to search my thoughts for something to give me the energy, to keep going, Vinyl, my parents, my cello, something. My crew… I thought of all of them, I remember not liking them, but then we slowly grew closer into a close bond. A bond stronger than mere friends, a bond formed out of blood, those bastards took them from me. Rain Pop’s lifeless eyes flashed through my eyes, Star Breech’s humorous quips, conversations over a drink, telling them dark secrets I hadn't even told Vinyl, or my parents, they were now all gone, I am the only survivor, the only one to continue that bond. I vowed to myself at that moment, that I will not die, or be captured, their memory must live on.

I mustered the strength and slowly my burnt legs began to lift from the ground, I just lifted myself just high enough to grab the base plank inside the truck with one hoove, then the other, and with all the strength I could muster, I pulled myself into the darkness of the truck, and then quickly scurried, as fast as my forelegs could allow, to the nearest wooden crate to hide behind.

“Hm… maybe it was nothing” The changeling’s voice unnatural voice was merely a meter from me, I stood completely still behind the crate, silently praying it would not notice me.

Everything was silent for a moment, then I heard the truck creek as he entered inside.

I felt sweat a single drop of sweat flow down my face, I started silently reciting the toons of 7th Hoovetoven in my head, begging that is enough to keep me from panicking.

Then I heard a click, the metallic sound was unmistakable, it could only be one thing, my entire body froze.

“If you move, I shoot…” The Changeling spoke almost silently, in a low whisper. “If you speak I shoot… do you understand?”

My head slowly nodded. I felt the warm glow on the side of my face, it was coming from the changeling's eyes, he was looking right at me. Why had I been so stupid? I should have just laid down in the dirt and let them pass, not try and get medical supplies to stay alive. The horror I felt overpowered the pain from my severely burnt leg, it was almost numb.

“I want you to answer my questions honestly, will you do that?”

I involuntarily nodded, my head.

“Vest! What is taking so long?” The other changeling’s voice rang out from the front of the vehicle.

The thing looming over me quickly shouted out a response with his harsh unnatural voice that sounded even worst from close up “Nothing! Just give me a second.”

The changeling’s voice lowered down to a devious whisper, “Turn to face me…” I did not want to do it, but I felt my body forcing me to turn my head toward the looming presence.

A small wicked smile grew over the changeling’s face when I turned to face him, his soft glowing blue eyes illuminated the small black submachine gun aimed right at my chest, they were staring right into my soul. “You are from that flaming tank over there right?”

I nodded.

The blue glow lowered to my burnt and bloody legs, “Looks like you were hurt bad… those wounds could become fatal if left untreated.” The changeling looked back up and tilted its head slightly, its wicked grin growing even wider. “You don’t want to die, do you?”

I shook my head, I wanted to haul up into a ball and cry, I wanted him to just go away so badly.

The changeling lifted his hoof to my chin, his cold touch sent a shiver through my body. He tilted his head downwards and began to inspect me. “You are a pretty one aren't you… I bet you have someone nice for you waiting at home…”

I did not resist, I let him slowly guide the movements of my head, I was in no condition to fight, I was too afraid.

The changeling leaned in closer, so close I could feel their hot breath on my neck, “What's their name?”

I felt my mouth involuntarily move, but no word came out.

“What did you say?” I felt the cold metal of the submachine gun, press into my chest.

I tried to think of a fake name, but my mind was blank, I couldn’t think of anything. I felt the words itching at my tongue, begging to be let out, I whimpered the words out in a soft quiet voice “Vinyl…”

The changeling smiled in satisfaction, “Good…” his blue glowing eyes were slowly shifting to a more purple hue. “You loved your crew too didn’t you?”

I felt tears begin to flow down my face, I involuntarily sniffled, I couldn’t take it anymore. “P-... please…”

The changeling’s face darkened, “Oh, don’t cry, it ruins the taste”

“I want to go home…” The tears only grew more intense, I would have started to scream if I had the energy to, but I released the best I could, with slow quiet sobs.

“I said, don’t fucking cry!” I felt the barreling force itself deeper into my fur, the changeling rose his hoof, to my neck, and pushed. My crying quickly turned to choke, he had locked air out of my body, and I couldn’t breathe. “You know, how fucking long it's been since I had love, those fuckers have an entire nation to feed from, yet they can’t spare anything for us.” I rose my hoof to his hard insectoid skin and tried to push him off, but to no avail, he stood like a rock, slowly choking the light out of me. Darkness slowly crept into my vision, I was dying, I was going to di-.

Air rushed back into my lungs, I tried pulling in as much air as I could between my gasps and coughs. The changeling smiled, his eyes had shifted from blue to completely purple. He had a toothy grin on his face, and… and were those fangs extending out?

He leaned in closely his hot breath assaulting the fur on my neck “But now… I have you all to myself…” my neck exploded into a sharp pain. Memories began to flash through my eyes, my mother, Vinyl, my first kiss, Rain Pop, my crew, and countless others flew through me. I began to feel those memories as if they were happening. I felt every single memory at the same time, a rush of millions of emotions, every happy laugh, every little smile, every content moment, every time I felt Vinyl’s body on my own, every time my mother kissed me good night, I felt them all simultaneously, love, happiness, satisfaction, arousal, closeness, kindness, achievement, everything, it felt amazing, it was the greatest high I had ever felt, I felt millions of fireworks explode in my mind, I had become entirely detached from the truck, from the changeling, from the burns, that was all behind me now, I was just Octavia, my full self, I felt my entire full self, everything that made me, me.

Then arousal began to fade, achievement, closeness, satisfaction, kindness, happiness, and finally love. They faded, they were meaningless, they always were meaningless, how have I been so stupid not to realize that? The memories stopped meaning anything, every good night’s kiss, every rush of excitement, every little smile, every little quip, they had no meaning. I stopped caring about anything, my crew stopped mattering, Vinyl was just another pony, my parents were just gravestones wasting space. My mind tried to fight back, the small whisper telling me that none of that was true was trying to scream, but all it could do was whimper, and it too was fading. I stopped caring that I didn’t care, I was just Octavia, nothing more, never anything more, just a being that exists, and that's it.

The gun barrel’s pressure had lightened its grip on me before the gun itself clattered to my feet. The changeling was drooling, it was so entirely consumed in feeding that it stopped paying attention to the world around it. I didn’t really care, so what? I felt a small whisper in my head telling me to grab the gun and save myself, but why should I? I closed my eyes and accepted my fate.

But, then I saw Rain Pop’s lifeless eyes, I saw myself getting ditched in the rain on my first date with a stallion, I saw a pony’s head get blown off, I saw an argument with Vinyl, panic, anger, hatred, it replaced all the memories that had faded to irrelevance, it was all I could think of, it hurt, I was afraid, I had to get out of here!

In a daze, I grabbed the gun, rose it to changelings cold skin, and held down the trigger.

The truck dark truck was suddenly lit up by the machine gun’s muzzle flash, dark red blood carpeted the back wall of the vehicle, the changeling's eyes shifted from purple to black, his fangs let go of my neck, and his entire body went limp.

“Vest!, What the fuck was that!” I swung the submachine gun toward the direction of the noise and squeezed. The gun cracked to life, bullets easily whizzed through the thin wood and metal. I heard the distinct noise of a bullet striking flesh followed by a loud continuous truck honk.

I dropped the gun and collapsed to the floor.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“Octavia… Please…” I heard a familiar female voice break through the darkness. The voice was quiet, barely audible, but my ears just barely picked it up. I tried to open my eyes, but I found my eyelids were far too heavy. My senses slowly began to come back to me. As my sense of touch came back I started to feel something soft under my back, soon the noises in my environment were becoming more clear. I heard coughs, frantic hoove steps, distant crying, screams of pain, and voices. The familiar voice once again broke through the noise, “Octavia?”

I tried to move, but I couldn’t, my entire body felt heavy, it was all immovable. I heard another voice that was close enough for me to make out the words “Will you please step back from the patient, you will have to wait outside.” The unfamiliar feminine voice sounded polite, but there was clearly a thinly veiled contempt under it.

“No! I… I want to be here for her… please…!” The familiar voice was desperate, I heard a sniffle, was she… was she crying?

My body suddenly began to feel lighter, the persistent heaviness was slowly lifting away, I felt my ears twitch, and my forehooves move just slightly to the side. As the heaviness lifted, a small but steadily increasing pain, crept into my legs.

“Ma’am if you don’t leave I will have to get the guards…” The voice’s politeness had been dropped, it was replaced with something more harsh and demanding.

“She-... she is going to wake up…-... just a little longer… please!” The familiar voice had broken down into sobs, each word slurred to a point of near incoherence.

The heaviness finally began to lift from my eyelids, and slowly my eyes began to open, a blinding light pierced my vision, causing me to rapidly blink. Everything was blurry, but from what I could tell I was in some sort of makeshift tent infirmary lined with beds, blobs of color rushed around in the distance, but in front of me was a large white blob, which seemed to be the source of the sobbing.

My eyes slowly began to adjust further, to a point where I can begin to recognize ponies around me, the white blob right in front of me slowly turned into a familiar figure.

“...Vinyl…” I heard my own voice, it was weak and barely audible, but Vinyl seemed to notice.

“Oc-... Octavia!” I suddenly felt Vinyl’s warm body wrap around me, something felt off about the warmness, was something was missing?

At the corner of my eyes, I saw a nurse pony looking me in the eyes, no… she was looking at my eyes. She pursed her lips, her angry expression slowly morphed into a sobering frown. Her eyes darted to Vinyl before she looked away.

“Octavia… I-... I was so worried, I thought, you were never going to wake up!” Vinyl hugged me tighter, I felt her tears slowly begin to wet my fur. Her grip tighten around me, it was warm only physically. I did not hug back, I had no urge to do so. I realized what was missing, maybe I should have felt sad about missing it, and yet, I didn’t.

Vinyl pulled away from me slightly, and looked me in the eyes, her smile slowly began to fade.

“Octavia… why are your eyes gray?”

Author's Note

This is probably one of the more iffy fics I'll ever write.

I didn't really have an idea of what this was gonna be about when I started writing it, I just of went with whatever my mind could come up with, and it ended up being pretty violent and fucked up, but so is war.

This is definitely not for everyone, and it is the only fic that I put a mature rating on, and for good reason.

The next thing I'll write will be more light-hearted, cause god I need to after that shit.