Ponymon

I used to hate this pony I really did. Trust me.

My name’s Anon. I was 17 back then, almost 18 - and yes, it does matter, but we’ll get to why a lot later.

You could say I was a pretty basic teenager, spending way too much time on my PC, occasionally hanging out with my (few) friends, fighting with my parents… Speaking of family, I also have a little sister. She isn’t little anymore, but she used to be and it’s she who played a key role in what I’m about to tell you. It was she who made my dad and mom spend so much money on a thing presented as “The pet of the future!”

“They’re smart! They’re cuddly! They are clean and they can even carry small kids on their backs!” said the commercial.

I think it was that last line that must have “sold” my little sister. It was ironic that it was the only thing listed that Suzzanne, our new family pet couldn’t do. She was way too small for that and never really grew past the height of my waist. It didn’t matter though, because everyone loved Suzzanne; also known as “Miss Preeny”. Everyone except me…

I was going through puberty. Don’t judge me too harshly for hating a colorful pony that could have been a brand new gaming PC instead. But my parents decided Suzzanne would be a better investment, so I despised her for it; at least at the beginning.

I had completely ignored her attempts to share her joy of living with me, I wouldn’t take her for walkies, I refused to give her scritches. I didn’t even want to look at her.

It might have been what made her so curious about me though, and why she decided to visit my room of that fateful evening. When the door creaked, I turned around thinking it was my mom, trying to make me watch the TV with the rest of the family.

"Sorry mom, I don't really like the TV shows you're--"

I didn’t even finish the sentence when I saw the creature at my doorstep. I knew she learned how to open doors within the first day of her stay but her audacity to enter my lair was outrageous to me.

“You?!” I paused my game to shoo her away. “Hush, go away! I don’t like you!”

It was hostile enough of a reaction to make the poor thing turn around and run back into the dark hallway. She didn’t close the door after herself though. She didn’t know how to do that yet, so I had to get my ass off my chair and go do it myself. I was cursing the colorful menace on the way but as I was about to close the door, I noticed her shiny eyes, reflecting the light of my screen in the dark. She was still there, lurking.

However, I didn’t care. I just slammed the door closed and went back to my game. It was when I eventually got all settled back in, and her interruption persisted that I had had enough.

“What is it you don’t understand?! Go away!!” I yelled harshly enough for Suzzanne to eep as if someone pinched her flank and in panic, run straight into the door that had partially closed behind her. I could hear a thud as she banged her head over the solid wood before finding her way out of my room in a clattering of hoofs sliding and clopping on the hard wood floor.

When I finally found myself alone, I actually felt a little bit bad about myself because from what it sounded like, it probably hurt. After a few seconds of thinking I got up from my chair to check on the pony to see if she was okay.

The hallway was empty though. I continued to the living room where the rest of my family was watching TV. There I found Suzzanne, disinterestedly laying next to their feet. None of them noticed me entering the room, except for our new pet that attentively raised her head in my direction.

I thought I had finally left a bad enough impression for her to completely start avoiding me, which might have been my intention at first, but I didn’t expect it would hurt me too. I went back to my room, feeling a little confused. I sat alone with my thoughts until a few minutes later when the door opened again…

I certainly didn’t expect Suzzane to give it another shot after the last time, so I was surprised to see her again so soon. Something inside me wanted to shoo her away again but at the same time, something else wanted me to come to her and apologize for being a jerk.

You can guess which part of me won. That’s right, I slapped the fuck out of— Oh I’m just kidding, of course I went to apologize.

The creature was still hesitantly standing in the doorframe, waiting for my reaction, so I crouched down to even our heights:

“It’s okay, come here.”

Suzanne quickly understood what it meant and made a few steps towards me but kept safe distance nonetheless. She couldn’t possibly tell if it isn’t one of my dirty human tricks, yet something inside her really wanted to find out.

When I reached my hand towards the pony, she flinched away like a cat, cautiously sniffing my palm before letting me even touch her. After a few seconds of analyzing me, she must have deemed I’m okay because she nudged my hand with her muzzle, almost guiding it on her head.

If I didn’t mention it before, Suzanne was (and still is) a total cuddlebug. I found out very quickly because as soon after I laid my hand on her, she craved me to use the other one as well.

Before we get further though, I gotta tell you about how it felt to touch her mane for the first time. It was a life changing experience for the young me... Okay, maybe not completely life changing but I was really surprised just how soft she is. As if she didn’t even belong to this world. I buried my fingers into those silky hair and Suzanne closed her eyes, indulging in the head massage. In less than half a minute she even began pulling herself closer, using her front hooves, dragging her rump on the ground behind her, to get even more from where all those scritches came from.

It wasn't a love at first sight but at this point, my heart definitely melted enough for me to accept the little pony.

“Heh, I guess you’re okay…” I chuckled with Suzanne’s head already resting on my lap “...But don’t tell anyone of this, okay?”

She didn’t really answer with words of course. The quiet whinny she made felt pretty affirmative though. She surely must have known she’s being addressed; if nothing else.

I kept caressing the pony’s head for a while longer, just exploring her strange features, getting to know her fluffy ears and squishy cheeks… Pretty much what would anyone do in my place, I think. However, what kinda surprised me, was the fact that above her forehead, there was a tiny horn, hidden in the thick mane. So tiny, it didn’t even stick out. Back then I thought that the company, artificially breeding these creatures, wanted to make an ultimate little girl’s fantasy come to life through their work. - That’s why they tried to feature them with both uselessly small wings, as well as with a miniature unicorn horn, so it didn’t really shock me that much. I wasn’t even that far from the truth, however, it wasn’t a full truth.

Back then it just made me feel a little sorry for Suzanne because she probably didn’t choose to be born into this body. One that felt to me like a one big marketing trophy. It wasn’t her fault that instead of a gaming PC or a car, there was her. I wouldn’t admit my thoughts to anyone else though.

I cuddled the pony for a good quarter hour before I finally let her head go. It almost fell out of my hands before she realized she had to keep it up herself again. Then she glanced at me, as if waiting for some kind of explanation why I stopped, so I announced:

“Okay Suzanne, I’m gonna go play some vydia now but I guess we’re cool now. I might have judged you too harshly before…”

With one last grin and one last headpat, I stood up to go sit in my gaming chair again.

It didn’t take long for me to get immersed in the 3d rendered fiction enough to stop caring about the world around me. That’s why it took a while for me to realize that Suzanne didn’t exactly leave to join the rest of my family, as I expected her to. Instead she was sitting right next to me. I almost yanked when I noticed.

Looking at the pony, I paused the game I was playing:

“What is it? Are you like, hungry or something? ...Or do you just don’t like watching soap operas with mom and dad?”

The creature didn’t say anything, again, just whined a quiet high pitched noise and very sneakily pulled her front hooves on my desk, watching me eye to eye from almost uncomfortably close distance. Then she poked her tongue out as if she wanted to lick me but she freezed right before doing that.

Despite how much she’d clearly like to, my father already taught her not to lick anyone’s face and Suzanne was always a really quick learner.

Now she was just staring at me, her orange tongue still hanging out of her mouth, before she licked her lips and slid it back in.

"You're this much from actually speaking, you know that?" I snickered "...But I still have no idea what you want. Is it really just someone’s attention? Is my sister already neglecting you so much? That doesn’t sound like her."

However, Suzanne just smiled at me, her eyes sparkling with the reflection of my screen. It was a really human looking kind of smile she could don. Human enough to make me feel a bit weird, thanks to my social awkwardness.

It was just Suzanne though, so I overcame that momentary feeling and gently squished her cheeks with my palms:

“So it’s the attention you want? Guess I can spare a few more minutes then…”

I gave the pony a few thorough scritches on her neck, running my fingers up and down, all the way towards fluffy ears and back to her withers. She really liked that, judging by her delighted faces and noises.

I couldn’t keep it up forever though and eventually I let her go again, returning to my game. Suzanne still stood there for a while, as if expecting more to come but then the screen with my videogame caught her attention. Couldn’t blame her, “Sekiro: Shadows die twice” was in 2019 dope as hell. However, when she tried to reach her hoof towards the screen to catch the shinobi, I shooed her away:

“Hey! No touching the screen.”

Suzanne’s hoof immediately retracted and she even slid back down on the ground, eyeing up at me with a visible guilt.

‘Either she’s just too pure for this world or she’s just too good of an actor.’ I thought. Nonetheless, it made me feel a bit bad about myself.

“Look I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound that harsh. It’s okay… You can watch if you want to, but no touching the screen, alright? I just died because of it." I pulled my old chair next to the one I was using now, so that Suzanne could sit with me "Come on up." I patted the cushion "This one's for you."

Somewhat hesitantly, the pony just touched the chair, patting it the same way I did, as if she wasn’t sure what to do with it. My parents wouldn’t let her on the couch or any other “human surfaces”, so that there’s less hair to clean and Suzanne didn’t even expect this one to be an exception. It was though, and apart from her own little mattress in the living room, the little pony now had her first cushioned okay-to-sit-on spot. She didn’t know it yet though.

"Of course you can sit here.” I grinned, glancing straight into her big eyes when I saw her still hesitating “This is my chair and my parents have no power over here.”

As if she could somehow understand me, she smiled again; this time even showing me her teeth, and began pulling herself up. Her attempts started out pretty elegantly too, that is until the swiveling chair turned out to be a real struggle to climb on. It didn’t discourage the pony from her tries though.

With a lot of leg kicking and wing flapping, Suzanne eventually managed to get there even without my help. I could see on her face how proud she was of making it.

“Good job.” I clapped twice for her with a grin, even though she didn’t know what the gesture meant. In response, she tried to clap back using her hooves, almost falling down from the chair.

Then she victoriously made herself comfortable there, laying her head on the armrest and leaning her cheek on my elbow. Her eyes were following the screen, occasionally glancing at me, judging me for dying to the same boss over and over again. That is, until I finally beat him:

"Yes! Fuck yes! Finally got ya, ya niggerrr!!" I stood up laughing and spontaneously hugging Suzanne on my right "Saw that?! Shinobi execution! A flawless one."

Needless to say that the pony had no clue what was I so happy about but she was quick to join my celebration, swishing her tail and giggling with me. It was the last part that actually surprised me because I only knew back then that she can smile but I certainly had no idea she knew how to laugh like a human too. That was new.

"Wait... you can laugh? Am I hearing right?" I slowly let go from the hug, glancing at the grinning pone. "Oh wow, just what exactly did my parents really buy? Is that why you were so expensive?"

"Ni-ggaaaahhh." Suzanne suddenly answered with a voice of a deaf, adolescent girl.

"Uh,... what?"

"Niggaaah!" she chirped excitedly, this time articulating a lot better.

I was utterly unable to comprehend what just happened and what to make of it, so I just stared at her as she went on and on:

"Nigga! Nigga!"

...

"Uhhh, mom?! Dad?!" I finally yelled, loudly enough for my parents to hear me two rooms away.

"Yes dear?!" my mom yelled back.

“Is that creature you bought supposed to be talking?”

"Oh yes! She should be able to learn some words and even phrases, like a parrot!”

"Did you teach her anything yet?" I heard my dad’s voice as well now.

"No! I mean, maybe..?" I answered.

"We’ll come and check once the show ends!” he replied.

I knew I fucked up.

If only Suzanne knew too. However, she didn’t. She was just watching me with a big smile on her face, excited about her word causing such a massive reaction:

"Nig--"

"Stop." I closed her muzzle before she could finish it and I looked her dead in the eyes "We don't say that in public, okay?... Do you understand me?"

As a matter of fact, she didn’t understand or she did not want to:

"Ni--" the mare started as soon as I let her muzzle go.

"Don't." I stopped her again, this time only putting my index finger in front of her mouth.

Judging by the grin on her face, I felt that she might understand that I don’t want her to repeat that word. The question was, whether or not was she going to abuse it to get reactions from people.

"...You're horrible, you know it?" I chuckled eventually at the mischievous pony.

"Haw! Eeble!" she wagged her tail, spreading her tiny wings.

"Yes, that's you..." I chuckled somewhat painfully.

I couldn’t really hold a grudge against her at this point because I found it totally hilarious too. It was hard to pretend that I didn't. Sure, my dad would probably tell me not to encourage her when she misbehaves and maybe even slap her each time she does but I just didn’t want to. Plus, I was kind of proud that it was me who taught her to speak.

Not my dad, not my mom and not even my little sister who was essentially the reason why Suzanne was with us in the first place. It was me.

I think by that time the mare must have already understood that around me, she can get away with a little bit more than around others. It must have been the reason why she sneakily began climbing on my shoulders with her hooves to suddenly give me a big, wet, lengthy lick over the whole left side of my face.

I didn’t know her intentions at first of course, so I didn’t really struggle when she put her hooves on me until it was too late:

“Jeez…” I laughed, wiping her slobber off my face “Gross!”

It was the first one of many more to come in the future because by not being mad at Suzanne after that, I must have just sealed the deal to be the “cool guy” for her. One that lets her do stuff. And surprisingly for me, I was pretty much okay with that.

It felt good to be someone’s favorite, even if that someone was basically just a family pet. At least back then.

"Haweeble!" Suzanne chirped again, after I finally got her off me, seating herself back into the chair I gave her.

"You sure are…” I chuckled then, trying to get her full attention “...but try to say: ‘Suzanne’. Suz-anne! ...Can you say it?"

You can imagine the excited little mare was happy to test out her speaking ability and I wish you could hear her failed attempts. Despite that though, she actually got it somewhat right pretty quick:

"Sooz.... Soozaine!" her tiny wings victoriously sprang open.

"Great! That's your name!" I pointed at her, "You're Suzzanne."

"Soozan!.. Soozzan!" She repeated the word proudly.

"I guess that will have to do. You're just like a pokemon now.” The sight of her made me grin. “...Can you do a high five too?"

However, that was too much for the officially titled ponymon. She was cluelessly smiling at the raised hand but she had no idea what I wanted from her.

"...Yeah, that's stupid, but how about a fist bump?" I made a fist in front of her. And, she actually bumped it. It was with her nose though, so it was technically a boop. “Hey, good try.” I giggled.

Before I could react, I received an answer too. Suzanne sprang up towards me to vigorously lick my face like an excited dog.

I didn’t exactly fight her, I mean, I did tell her to stop it and I tried to push her away in between my laughs but I wasn’t very firm. It actually must have even encouraged her because she thought it was a game.

Eventually I had to use a bit of force to get her away from my face, otherwise I’d probably drown in her saliva or choke on her tongue. I grabbed the pony’s barrel and I steadily pushed her away just enough for her to not be able to reach me.

My intention was to show her that it was enough games but since I had the upper hand on her, I suddenly felt like I should use it. So, I laid the creature on her back, exposing her belly.

“Got you now!” I laughed as I buried my fingers into the fluff on Suzzanne's chest. And she laughed too and also kicked, but just out of fun and not with a lot of force.

I messed with her for a good while and I’d probably continue even longer if I didn’t suddenly hear my parents, who were about to enter my room; I had an ear for that.

Just as fast as I’d usually pull my pants up and close all tabs, I laid Suzanne back down on the ground and pretended as if I didn't even know her. I had to keep my ‘hater pose’.

Even though I liked Suzanne already, I couldn’t openly admit it to my parents. If you went through puberty, which I’m guessing you did, I’m sure you understand. A pubescent has gotta keep his edginess.

My parents walked into a sight of me, carelessly staring into the PC screen and the pony sitting next to me; still excited from all the fun she had just a few seconds ago.

"Hey son, I take it you two have finally become friends now?" Dad laughed, seeing Suzanne was all about me. However, I tried to ignore her:

"Yeah, as if. She just keeps following me, I dunno what's her deal.”

“Then how or why did you teach her to speak?” He inquired.

“That’s the thing I--...”

Unsure what to say, I awkwardly glanced at the smiling creature, sitting on the ground between me and my parents, hoping she could anyhow get me out of this situation. As if she could do telepathy, Suzanne straightened herself up and when all the human eyes were fixed onto her, she announced with utmost importance in her girly voice:

"SoOoOozzainne."

"So it's her name you've taught her?" my dad laughed, patting my shoulder "I knew you two would get along in the end."

"But I-- Yeah,.. I mean no!! She’s not my friend, I don’t even care about her! All I wanted was you to come pick her up so that she would stop opening my damn door!” I got into my act so deeply that for a while, I actually believed my own words. With unpretended anger I pointed at the pony, commanding: “Get away, you stupid animal!”

In that second, Suzanne’s smile fainted away from her face as she slowly walked out of my room with a visible disappointment in her posture. She wasn’t the only disappointed one though. My mom frowned and my dad made a very fake smile that couldn’t really hide his real emotions:

"Well, alright champ,.. maybe later."

Only after all of them were gone, I snapped back, realizing what I had said and done. I might have made my point but I didn’t really feel good about it. The cost was too high. Suzanne looked really hurt.

As much as my ego wanted to justify being such a jerk, I couldn’t really stop thinking about it before falling asleep that night. One part of me wanted to think that Suzanne really is just a stupid animal and she won’t even know about it tomorrow. The other part didn’t need me to think at all because I knew the truth already: What I did wasn’t right and Suzanne certainly didn’t deserve such treatment.

The struggle in my head kept me up for a long time and I only fell asleep after promising my conscience to make it up somehow tomorrow. I didn’t know how yet but I definitely wanted to...