Author's Note

It's not revised by someone else besides me (yet) but I really wanted to publish it already, so that the story moves on.
So, here it is. It'll likely get corrected soon, so please forgive me the potentional mistakes.

One of these days

***

As you can probably guess, since I’m telling you this, I didn’t die in the crash. I merely earned myself plenty of bruises on my body, a broken left arm, and on it, a broken wrist. Other than that, I was relatively fine.

I woke up laying in a white hospital bed, inside an equally white hospital room. It wasn’t exactly a quick waking up, one that instantly snaps you into reality. At some point of my unconsciousness, the darkness turned into dreams and I remember chasing after a blurry, distant figure of the small mare which I longed to see for so long. The more I ran though, the further she seemed to be.

Eventually I stopped, not even out of tiredness, rather, in realisation that it just doesn’t lead anywhere. She was getting out of my reach and my endeavour seemed to work in the exact opposite direction. However, as I finally sat down to rest and re-think my strategy, the figure started to walk back into my direction on its own. As it did, the unclear image started to take real shape and colours. I could feel my eyes water in joy when I could recognize her image. We smiled at each other and I opened my arms to embrace her but then the whole vision started to fade away and my body began feeling heavier each second.

“Uuuh?” I opened my eyes eventually, examining the colourless place I found myself in. It definitely was no heaven, nor hell, so I wasn’t dead. There was another occupied bed on the other side of my room and in it laid some kind of an old man. He wasn’t conscious, at least from what I could tell. Then I noticed my left arm, completely covered in gypsum. Damn… I thought, as I began recollecting what exactly happened before. All of the memories started to come back, including the fact that I was supposed to call Sasha after I bought out Suzzane.

The money!.. My phone! Where are they? I shortly panicked but then I glanced on my right side, reaching my good hand towards the nightstand. To my great relief I found my wallet in the drawer with no money missing, as well as my phone. The screen was cracked at several places but when I pressed the button on its side, the screen lit up and I could unlock it too.

The device was still set on flight mode, like it was the whole time I was at Sasha’s hotel. It made sense there, because there was no signal from my provider. The only way to stop the phone from constantly searching for it and wasting battery, was either to switch my SIM card for the same brand Sasha had or set it on flight. Naturally, I picked the easier option, I rarely ever used my phone for actual calling. However, I forgot to turn the mode off when I returned to the city. That way, no one could reach me, no matter how much they tried.

I switched it back, about to ring up the big man, apologise for not calling, and to explain what happened. However, as soon as I turned the mode off, I received several missed calls. 2 were from Sasha and… several more were from my parents. Both of them.

“Huh?”

I didn’t go through all of the logs but there was a considerable amount of them. Most of which were from last month but then there were still at least two every week. I tried to process it, Why would they even call me?, but then the phone suddenly started ringing. It was my mother. I hesitated a short while before actually picking it up.

“Hello?”

“Anon, thank God! We thought you might be dead!”

“What? Why?”

“Because you completely disappeared and no one ever heard of you since!”

“No, I mean why would you even care? Isn’t that precisely what you wanted? To get rid of the defective son? You should have been happy with the results.”

“Honey, it wasn’t like that. Your father was angry but we didn’t mean to abandon you… Where are you?”

I swallowed another peppery remark and instead just answered the question: “...In a hospital.”

“What?!”

“In a hospital.” I repeated with my temper slightly rising again. “My bus got rammed from the side by some idiot in an EV and I literally just woke up here.”

“Oh my God, are you alright? I’ve seen it on the news but I had no idea that you were in it! We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

“I’m alive, just a broken arm but don’t even bother yoursel-” I didn’t even finish because I could hear her putting the phone away from her ear, explaining everything to my father and organising a visit. I was still pretty angry at both of them, so, before she could put the phone back to her ear, I hung up. Instead, I called Sasha to apologise.

After the dial rang a few times, he finally picked it up and could finally tell him what went down…

“Ha! I thought you made up with your parents and decided to stay there instead.” He replied, sounding a lot less worried than my mother. I appreciated his easy going approach. “So, will you be okay?”

“Yeah, I guess I will.” I replied. “...Can I still return once they let me out? I probably couldn’t use my left arm for a while but I can still work with my right.”

“Is okay, no worries. Take time if you need to, we can manage the weekends. Just let me know when you need to get picked up. Best day before that.”

“Will do. Thanks a bunch. Sorry again.”

“I said is okay. Not your fault. See you later.”

“Yeah, see you.” We both hung up and the room went quiet again, apart from the hospital machines monitoring the oldtimer’s life functions next to me. I wondered what happened to him but I never really found that out.

I closed my eyes again instead, trying to sleep, but I couldn’t exactly silence my own thoughts enough to do that. Instead, I just daydreamed until a nurse randomly came to check on me. I asked her for some food and I had a short chat with her before she disappeared again. She also gave me some painkillers I was supposed to take.

After finishing the tasteless food I had received I was going to use the hospital wifi to kill some time on the youtube but before I could find anything interesting, the door to the room opened yet again.

It was my mother and my father. They had come to see me, just as she said they would. I, however, wasn’t that happy to see them. It was just as awkward as you can probably imagine.

“Oh,.. hey.” I glanced their way.

“Hey son.” My father announced but my mother ran up front to my bed.

“My, you’re full of bruises! Are you okay?”

“I already said that I’m fine.” I crossed my arms. I also wanted to tell my father to not ‘son’ me after how he acted the last time we saw each other but I forced myself not to. I settled for: “I also told you not to bother yourselves with coming here.”

“We couldn’t just leave our son-” My mother started, but hearing them call me ‘son’ the second time was simply too much. It was my time to interrupt them for once:

“Yes you could! And don’t act like you two have a son, you made it perfectly clear that you don’t want to have anything in common with this freak right here!” I angrily pointed at myself.

That was when the man behind my mother stepped in front of her. I half expected, maybe even slightly wanted, him to burst as well but he actually kept his usual calmness:

“Look Anon, I know it’s not easy but this isn’t what we wanted.” He said.

I wasn’t going to keep calm though. “What DID you want then?” I began and it was suddenly hard to stop. “You basically disowned me, threw me out on the streets with only what I could carry and now you come to me, as if nothing ever happened? Is this some kind of stupid joke? Did you come to laugh at me?”

“I know I was harsh back then. I was very angry and I used some strong word-”

“Damn right you did.” I interrupted him again.

“Yes…” he made a short pause to acknowledge it. “But as I was going to say: You are still my only son. The measure I took wasn’t meant to be forever. I hoped that you could see some reason when you’re separated from that horse for a week or two. And hopefully, promise to stop with that ‘soulmate’ nonsense once you come back.”

As you can probably guess, that only added some kindling to the fire inside me that almost began to weaken:

“Well guess what? This plan of yours went horribly wrong.” I reached into the drawer and threw my bulging wallet at their feet before I’d continue. “The only reason why I came back was to exchange all this money for her and to never see you again. That’s the only thing you’ve achieved.”

Properly shocked by what I said, they both stood there silently for a few seconds, so I added:

“Go on, open it.”

My mother hesitantly picked the thing up and opened it, gasping at how much was inside:

“Where did you get all this money?”

“I worked two goddamn months, every single day, ten hours a day. All for the singular purpose of getting Suzzane back. That “horse”, as you call her, means more to me than your ‘generous hospitality’.”

Another round of shocked silence followed, through which, watching their dumbfounded faces gave me some kind of twisted satisfaction.

“...You really are serious with all this?” My mother asked.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” I answered sarcastically. “And for the love of all that is holy, if you still have just a little bit of sympathy for me, just say that it is enough.”

I really hoped they would just take the damn money, let me take Suzanne and I’d get out of their life forever.

However, after a short while of thinking, the man took the wallet and put it back onto my bed.

“You’re fucking cruel you know that?!” I actually yelled. “Just how much more do you want? It’s almost as much as she cost you initially! Or are you doing that just to spite me?”

“Anon, it's not about money, we just want you to come to your senses. There are real girls out there, you just need to give them a chance and-”

“I don’t want them! I could have had the daughter of my boss. I could marry her and inherit their hotel one day but I don’t want it! I already found the one but you took her away from me! Can’t you see it goddammit?! No matter how much you hurt me, you are NOT changing my mind!”

That is when the door opened again and a different nurse than before barged in, whispering aggressively:

“What is going on here? The patients are not to be disturbed! You said you just wanted to see your son! And you, young man, what are you yelling for?”

I scowled, wanting to tell her to go fuck herself but when I recalled that the poor grandpa was with us in the same room, I had to give her that she was kinda right. I just looked away in shame.

“No more yelling okay? Don’t make me come here again.” She finally went away, leaving the four of us alone again.

I didn’t feel like talking though as everything important has already been said. Just like the last time I parted with them. I was so damn angry and I only wished for them to go away so I could turn that anger into tears, as always, and just sulk in peace. However, after a uncomfortably long minute of silence my father spoke in low tone:

“So, there really is no budging you?”

“Not a damn chance!” I whispered as aggressively as the nurse, holding back a tear in my right eye.

“Look son, we just want what’s best for you. I just thought we might know it better than you.”

“That is the single most pretentious thing you could say!” I kept whispering. “I’m not 12 anymore, I want to have my own choice and my choice is to be with the one person I love the most in the whole world. Is that so hard to accept?”

“Well it is certainly a lot harder for us than you think…” The man said, partly to himself. Then he paused again as if weighing options and coming to a painful conclusion (for him), he continued: “...But if this really is the only way for us to have peace, then you can have her.”

I was still so angry, prepared to fling at him a big fat “fuck you”, I thought I must have misheard him. “Sorry, can you repeat that? Did I hear right?” I said instead, sincerely baffled.

“You can have her, goddammit.” My dad hung his head in defeat. “I had hoped that you'd just move on eventually but you’re both stubborn as mules. ”

“Both?”

“Yeah. Truth is, Suzzane has not been feeling well since you left. I thought that she’d forget but…”

All my remaining anger disappeared in an instant, replaced by worry: “W-what do you mean? What is with her?”

“Well, she hasn’t been eating a lot and she’s grown a bit apathetic. It’s not exactly life threatening but it is visible.”

“My poor girl…” I covered my mouth with my palm. I always considered Suzzane to be more emotionally mature than me, in fact, I still do. That is why it came to me as such a surprise that she’d be taking it as bad or even worse than I was. I had hoped that she wouldn’t forget about me but I would never want her to punish herself like that. “I have to see her. Today.”

“Anon, you’re in no condition to-” my mother tried to stop me but I was already trying to stand up. My body was sore all over when I tried to move it but when I pushed myself off the bed, my legs did not betray me.

“See? I’m okay. Let’s go.” I smiled forcibly.

“Honey, you can’t just waltz out of here like nothing!” The woman began explaining. “They won’t even let you, they have procedures.”

“Mom, I don’t care. I’ll escape through the window if I have to. I cannot wait a day more, knowing it is my fault that she suffers.”

“Calm down, Anon.” My dad firmly pushed me back onto the bed and glanced at me with his typical, reasonable look. “We can ask whether they would let you but if they say no, you will not be escaping through the window. Okay? I think I have already receded enough today.”

After a few seconds of a staring contest, I exhaled in defeat: “Fine, but tell them I won’t be taking ‘no’ as an answer...”

…

After what could have been 20 minutes, my parents returned with a doctor by their side. I told him that I need to see a certain someone and I cannot possibly wait any longer but it didn’t move him a lot. However, after a while of insisting and persuading, he told me that if I sign him some papers about taking the full responsibility onto myself, I can fuck off.

Alright, he didn’t say it like that but I’m sure it was exactly what he was thinking. I couldn’t care less though.

They gave me back my clothes, which were mostly intact, even though still a bit dirty from the crash. I decided to not wear them though. You see, changing clothes with my bruised body was kind of a pain and I need not to do that twice. I figured I could make it home just in the hospital gown and there I could change into something clean. So, I went straight towards my father’s car in the hospital gown.

On the way home, mom inquired me to tell them what exactly have I been doing the whole time I was gone. So, I told them all about my few days as a hobo, the shoplifting attempt and then the sudden second chance at Sasha’s hotel. I also told them a lot about my time there and how I earned my place among his family; How hard the work was sometimes, and how I always managed to overcome it.

In a way, I think they were proud of me, being able to fend for myself in the world without their help. I know I was, because nobody, including myself, really expected me to fare so well. What’s more,- come back with a full wallet.

Though, when I was done talking and we still had a bit of road ahead of us, a question of what comes next arised. Naturally, I also told them that Sasha will expect me to return. However, as I expected, my parents wanted me to finish high school. There was merely one year left and if I would not finish it, those previous three would be for nothing. I had to agree with that point, even though I felt that staying home, in order to finish the last school year, could be harmful to the unexpected truce we made. From what I could tell, my parents still didn’t exactly approve of me, choosing Suzzane as my lifelong partner. It was merely a necessary evil for them and I feared that staying at their house with her could potentially create more conflicts. I didn’t say that out loud though.

We agreed to leave that conversation for later since we were already in the old neighbourhood where I grew up. I promised to “be reasonable while judging such important decisions” and that we’ll talk about it once I recover a bit more.

As much as it was a pickle, I didn’t let that bother me at the moment. After all, I was finally going to see Suzzane again.

Upon entering the house, the first familiar face that I saw was actually my sister’s. She thought I was on a work holiday in a foreign land which wasn’t actually that far from the truth. I didn’t even have to lie about the reason why I was so banged up, so it wasn’t really hard to play along with the story. After all the greeting and stuff, I promised to tell her more later as I was eager to finally see my beloved horse wife. It was unusual for her to not already be present in order to see first hoof what was the commotion. Normally, the ever curious mare would be there first.

However, as I passed further into the house, through the kitchen joined with the living room, I finally saw her. She was peeking through the hallway doorframe, likely coming straight from my room. I figured it might have been where she resided while I was gone. I’d probably do that too, if our roles were switched.

When our eyes first met, the slight disinterest on her face was replaced by shock, disbelief and then a rising, wide smile. I made two more steps towards her and I fell down on my bruised knees so I could hug her. Naturally, the mare had no idea my body was sore all over so she pretty much ran into my arms, almost toppling me over. It did hurt but definitely not enough for me to not enjoy every second of feeling her warmth on my skin; Smelling the familiar scent which I missed so bad; Hearing her sweet, angel voice as she almost whimpered into my ear:

“Anon back! Suzzane know, Anon back later! Miss very, very, very lot!”

“I missed you too, little darling.” I smiled with the tears in my eyes as I held her. “I missed you so much...”

We stayed in the tight, unmoving embrace until the tears that were rolling down our faces dried and it was impossible to hold back the chuckles and laughs. Only then I let go enough to look into her widened eyes again and see my own reflection in them. I wasn’t sure if my parents were still around but I just couldn’t help myself not to kiss her on the lips.- Gently, with no tongue, nothing sexually revolting. Merely a long expression of my deep love towards her.

When we parted from the kiss, I pressed my forehead against hers and caressed her cheek with my good hand.

“I love you girl.” I whispered.

“Love youuuu.” She grinned.

Quietly, we stayed like that, smiling and staring into each other's eyes for a half a minute more before slowly letting go. The reunion felt just as sweet as I imagined it would, if not more.

In the meanwhile, my parents and my sister disappeared; Which was fair because we took a lot of time to finish. Only then did Suzzane realise the state I was in, seeing the bruises under my gown.

“Anon hurt! What hurt Anon?”

“That’s a long story sweetie. I’ll be alright though. I’ll tell you all about it but I think I need to rest for a bit.”

“Suzzane come tooo. Help rest.”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way.” I chuckled, very cautiously standing up. I probably should have just slowly knelt before, instead of falling on my knees, but I just couldn’t help myself not to be dramatic.

I went straight to my old room where I found mom, changing the sheets for me because it was obvious where I’d go next in my state. The old ones were full of Suzzane’s hair, and I did consider stopping my mother and saying I’d rather keep it that way, but I had the real Suzzane with me to keep me company. So, I just thanked her and went straight under the blanket.

It could have been because of the painkillers but I felt sincerely tired as I laid in the soft bed. Comfortably tired though, like I can finally take a hard earned rest after a day of hard work. So, I buried my face into my pretty wife’s silky mane and soon I was drifting off. It was certainly the happiest day I had in a long, long time.

…

I woke up later in the middle of the night, confused about my whereabouts. In my dream, I was sleeping in a tent and for whatever reason, I didn’t just instantly snap back into reality. It could be that because in my dream, my body was sore from sleeping on the ground and when I woke up, I was still sore, yet for a different reason. The point is: Only when I reached my right hand through the dark space and my fingers felt something soft next to me, did the memories start to return. You wouldn’t believe how incredibly relieving it can feel to realise that you did not just teleport into the past.

Suzzane was still in a very similar spot to where she was the last time I saw her before I went to sleep. She wasn’t under the blanket with me, rather just on top of it because it was too hot for her, having fur on her body. She must have moved a little bit though because I recalled falling asleep with my face directly in her mane and now she wasn’t exactly touching me anymore. I guessed that she must have left to go to the toilet or simply rolled away in her sleep.

Now though, when I laid my hand on her in my confusion, she must have woken up.

“Mmmm…” I heard her shifting, trying to move back, closer to me. “...Anon awake?” She eventually raised her head a little. Even in the very dim moonlight, she must have noticed that I had my eyes open.

“Yeah, I am. Sorry for waking you up too little darling.” I nuzzled her.

“Do not sorry.” The mare had to take a little bit of time to find words, being just woken up. “Suzzane sleep um-... very much hours…. Not very tired.”

“Me neither to be honest.” I smiled, hearing her cute voice constructing those clumsy sentences. I really missed that. “...Have you been here with me the whole time?”

“Yes. Suzzane not leave. Want stay,..” It seemed that she wanted to say more on the topic but didn’t know how to express herself. Instead she asked: “Where Anon go away? Alone? Outside?”

“...Yeah, I was alone outside for a few days. Then I found a job and a place to stay. I never forgot about you though. Only the thought of seeing you again kept me going.” I gently touched her face with my good arm.

“But,.. What happen? How Anon back? Why hurt?”

“Well,..” I told her about how I earned some money for the work I was doing, how I wanted to buy her away from my parents but I got myself in a road accident and finally, how my parents came to visit me and we made peace. I spoke slowly but I didn’t have to use too many simplified sentences throughout my story. Suzzane actually seemed to understand most of it and if anything wasn’t clear to her, she’d stop me and ask. I had to explain to her in bigger detail what a restaurant is and how it works because she’s never really been in one. We only ever visited fast foods together.

When I was finally done telling the story, she remarked: “Human complicaet life. Too very complicaet. Suzzan happy not human.”

I couldn’t help not to chuckle: “You tell me! It’s crazy out there…. And what have you been doing the whole time? You speak a bit better than before. Have you been practising?”

“Suzzan no speak, no prac-um, pracicing. Parents not talk to Suzzane and Suzzane not wanna speak. Suzanne sad…” The mare had to make a short pause, either to make her story more dramatic or to find words. “...But Suzzane listen, very lot. And sometime speak with sister. Sister very nice but… not Anon. Suzzane love Anon… diffrent. That why Suzzane wife!” She raised her hoof, on which she still had the bracelet I gave her instead of a wedding ring back then. “Never take off. Promise.”

Her story, although a lot shorter than mine, actually made my eyes water a little bit. I’m not sure if it was from being touched by her sincerity or from the happiness of being finally back at her side. Maybe a mix of both. “I also never took it off.” I raised my hand and laughed quietly. “Good thing I broke the other one.”

“Yes, good thing.” It made the mare laugh as well. She then cuddled up closer to me with a content sigh. “...What happen now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do Anon stay or take Suzzane to restaurant?” Her eyes glanced up at me inquiringly while her muzzle was still pressed tight against my cheek.

“That is actually a very good question. I’m not sure. My parents want me to finish school but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to be here, now that the two of us are no longer a secret. I mean, they kind of accepted it because they didn’t have any other choice. Seems like they still care about me otherwise, they wouldn’t care about losing their son but they are not happy about us either.”

“So-oo?”

“I don’t know, let’s wait for how the situation will unfold. I swear though that I won’t let anyone separate us again.” I kissed the snoot that was poking my face.

“Yes!” I received a wet lick back. “...Try sleep now?”

“Yeah I guess, let’s…” I yawned.

As strange as it may sound, I think that was the most human-like conversation I ever had with Suzzane up until that day. It’s not like we didn’t share our thoughts before but it usually wasn’t through so many words. Nor did we talk a lot about our past or our future because we sort of just lived in the present together. Mostly. At least Suzzane did. I was usually the one speaking about the past and the future while she just listened. However, I felt like she had made a certain step while I was gone, I just wasn't sure in which direction.

I think it was as if she was never hurt before, or at least not like that. What happened to us though, made her shed a tiny bit of that sweet innocence which she used to overflow with. Of course, it didn’t change her completely, merely made her slightly more human.

However, I wondered whether she would not have a better life if she just stayed naive and oblivious as she was at the very start. I considered I’d have to blame myself for that but it wasn’t only my choice. After all, it was her, who chose me. Twice actually. First time as a friend and the second time as a lover. She probably had no idea what she was getting herself into though. All that I could do at that point was to protect her from further harm, knowing very well I might not always be able to.

As I was thinking these thoughts, the mare had already dozed off. After all, she was, and still is, pretty good at it. The falling asleep at will, I mean.

I let go of my thoughts for a moment and opened my eyes so I could take a look at the mare's dainty silhouette. …She really was beautiful, both in body and soul.

As I watched her in the moonlight, breathing calmly and rhythmically, suddenly I had the answer to my pondering:

“Whatever will happen in the future, I will always be there for you from now on. I know it isn’t much, but if it is the only real thing I can do for you, I will do it as best as I can.” I whispered as gently as I could, in order to not wake her up.

With that thought in mind, I could finally drift away into a peaceful slumber.