Jetpack Harmony

The ponies that had congregated outside of the crystal castle all filed out and went their separate ways. The remaining Cutie Mark Crusaders went to search for their crazed comrade, Trixie went back to her wagon, Fluttershy went back to her cottage, and Applejack, having nothing better to do, decided to just go home. As she walked she noticed just how terribly slow she was really going. Now that she'd experienced zipping around she no longer had the desire to mosey. "Only had the derned thang fer two days n Ah'm already spoilt rotten!"

Her heart sank lower and lower with every step. In the distance she could see her cozy little house on the mountainside and sighed. Why had the stubborn farmer insisted that they live halfway between their two habitats? Rainbow had said countless times that she didn't need cloud architecture. "But NOOOO Ah just HAD to be considrit of mah mare's needs. We just HAD ta live where her clouds could stay sturdy enough so she can have 'er own space." She groaned at her decision.

Applejack had known even before they'd built the house that it was going to be a trek up and down the mountain every day, and that trek was only going to get harder as she aged, but she just didn't have the heart to make Rainbow completely change her living situation when there was a workable compromise. "Stop that now!" The stubborn farmer said out loud to herself, holding her head high and straightening her shoulders. "Just cause y'all got a bit of a hike to git home ain't somethin to fuss about! Besahdes! Twahlaght's gonna git these here mo sheens back to workin raght n then y'all can zip round the skah whit'cher special somepony all ya want!"

She meant to strike out towards home with spirit and vigor renewed, but at that moment is when she heard something odd. It was a familiar voice, but it was making strange straining sounds like one in pain while attempting to perform some difficult task. Applejack noticed she was within earshot of Sugar Cube Corner and realized the sound must be Pinkie, but what in Equestria was she doing? With some trepidation she slowly entered the bakery and the sounds became more pronounced. She saw Mr and Mrs Cake working with concern and discontent written across their faces and felt compelled to ask, "Uh, Howdy there Cakes. What's all the commotion?"

Mrs Cake gave a strained and unconvincing smile. "Oh, hello there Applejack. Oh, nothing, we're just a little bit behind on an order. We expected to have Pinkie's help but she's a bit preoccupied with uhmm. . ." Her point was made by a thud and a particularly irritated grunt from upstairs.

Mr Cake sighed. "It would be so bad for Pinkie to have a sick day, if she didn't use up all of our baking utensils!"

Applejack raised an eyebrow high on her head. She'd known Pinkie for years, and one would think that nothing the party pony did would be able to surprise the farmer anymore, but that was particularly odd, even for Pinkie. The earth pony mounted the stairs, having to be careful not to bash the railing with her large clunky backpack as she ascended. As she reached the top of the stairs a new sound made its way to her ears through the cacophony. It was an odd scratching sound, like one rubbing something with old sandpaper.

Applejack had to gulp before slowly reaching out an orange hoof and ever so gently pushing the door open. As soon as her friend appeared several mysteries were solved simultaneously. Pinkie lay sprawled awkwardly at an angle, the jetpack against the floor. Her body was stretched over the large backpack, her neck craned to reach a certain spot. In her teeth was a wooden spoon, held by the bowl. She was grunting and fidgeting, trying desperately to reach a certain spot under the jetpack.

That's why the Cakes had no kitchenware to work with. Over a dozen spoons, spatulas, rubber scrapers, and tongs were all sticking out of the crevasse between Pinkie's back and the jetpack as if she was attempting to cosplay as a porcupine. The struggling grunting pony was jabbing at the spot, trying desperately to scratch just under the padding of the jetpack. She grew so frustrated with her fruitless effort that her jaws came together straight through the wooden spoon.

Pinkie snarled with rage and pain as she contorted her body in a matter that if anypony else had done so Applejack might have thought they were possessed. Her legs bent the wrong way to reach all the way over the jetpack and lift herself up off of the floor. She scuttled around to face the trembling farmer, her head hanging down almost touching the floor. Applejack's blood congealed in her veins when the twisted pony's head turned all the way around on her neck, her eyes literally blazing with real actual fire. "SOOOOO!!! ITCHEEEEEEY!!!"

Applejack gave a rising scream as she scuttled back away from the monster that vaguely resembled her friend. She turned to run down the stairs, but one of her jets caught the railing and she tumbled head first all the way down. When she reached the bottom she wanted to take a moment to look and see if she was injured in any way, but from her vantage point at the bottom of the stairs she could see the crouching monster scuttling towards her. She screamed again but she couldn't manage to regain her hooves before the creature reached her.

Pinkie scuttled straight over the flailing pony and into the kitchen. "No Pinkie! That's the last egg beater! Please!" Applejack heard a wailing Mr Cake say from the kitchen.

Sugar Cube Corner shook with the roar of, "IIIITCHEEEEEEEY!!!" The contorted demon of itching scuttled back over the shell shocked farmer and back up the stairs. Applejack didn't give that twisted creature time to come back as she scrambled to her hooves. One of her boosters caught the door frame as she tried to flee and it slammed her into the other side of the doorway. She staggered and stumbled into the street from the impact, straight into a pair of ponies.

The two tackled ponies saw the large bulky mass that they had no mental reference point to hearken back to and screamed, "Help! A monster!" Applejack got unsteadily off of them and looked at the two in shock. Before she could stammer out a breathless apology everypony within earshot of the scream had begun panicking in the way only residents of ponyville can. Welcome mats were turned over to become unwelcome mats. Ponies ran screaming into each other without looking where they were running to. Doors were slammed and bolted and curtains were drawn.

In a matter of seconds Applejack was standing alone in the square. Tears began to fill her eyes as she ran heedlessly towards her mountain home. She crossed ponyville at a dead sprint, desperate to reach the sanctity of her and her mare's cozy home. The distance proved too great for even the indomitable Applejack, and just as she reached the foot of the mountain she slumped down, her breath caught between sobs and exhausted gasps. Just that second she felt the mild whiplash of her mare snatching her up off the ground and zooming off into the air.

Applejack looked up in starry eyed wonder at the cocky wonderbolt, the toothy grin being the thing she'd wanted to see the very most right that second. "Hey Babe! Did ya miss me?"

The farmer clung tightly to her mare and almost sobbed the answer, "Yes!" She buried her face in her mare's blue neck and squeezed tightly with relief. "Ah'm so glad to see you! Y'all wouldn't BELIEVE the day Ah've had!."

"Well MY day was GREAT!" Rainbow shouted, her buoyant mood too high to notice her mare's distress. "I got some poor grunts to listen to my fanfic, AND we finally got the L7 maneuver down! And it was all thanks to this awesome thing!" She gestured to the jetpack. "I owe Twilight a great big thank you!"

Applejack's eyes went wide and she almost made Rainbow Dash drop her in her scramble. "No! Don't! Dash y'all gotta stop usin that thang raght this second!" She shouted, waving her hooves at the jets as if she could just press them back into the jetpack and stop them.

Rainbow spent a long moment scrambling to reassert her balance and resume using her wings. "What? Why? Hey! Easy! EASY! Just hold on!" The pegasus quickly but awkwardly landed on the trail leading to their house and plopped Applejack less than gently on the ground. "What the hay AJ?! What's wrong with using the jetpack?"

Applejack scrambled to her hooves and shouted with more heat than was appropriate. "Twahlaght said we ain't to use em no more! Says it'll make it harder to get em off er something!"

Rainbow's natural inclination was to rise to this impetuosity, but her mare had been a good influence on her. She knew that it was best to extinguish anger rather than to dominate it. She spoke in a low consoling tone and gently took her mare in her arms. "Hey, hey, hey, alright. If Twilight doesn't want us to use the jetpacks anymore, then we won't." She gently lifted her mare in her forelegs and slowly rose into the air on her wings.

Applejack knew instantly what Rainbow was doing and she felt mortified at speaking so harshly to her mare. She wrapped her forelegs around the long blue neck and squeezed tight. "Ah'm sorry hun! It's just been a day! With Rarity goin off the deep end, n Scootaloo. And Pinkie!" She said, the panic in her voice rising as she spoke.

Rainbow gave her a gentle squeeze. "It's okay babe. I'm here. Let's just get home and you can tell me all about it." Rainbow carried Applejack all the way into their house and didn't put her down until she laid her gently on the couch. The pegasus held the farmer's head in her hooves and gently stroked the long blonde hair. The farmer simply clung to her mare and relished the comfort she was giving. "Now." Rainbow whispered. "What happened?"

Applejack sighed and shifted to lay her head in her mare's lap. She explained the uncomfortable parts of her day, about how three of her friends had been driven to various degrees of lunacy by the new machines. She explained the audience with Twilight and how Scootaloo had flown away like a mad mare. "Now she's goodness knows where n Pinkie n Rares are nuttier n squirrel droppins!" She sighed miserably. "Here Ah thought these'd help us git closer, but it's just been one big mess!"

Rainbow Dash cooed reassuringly to her distraught mare. "Oh come on AJ, it can't be all that bad. I was able to complete a maneuver that we've been struggling with for two full months!"

Applejack thought for a moment and shifted. "Wayull, Ah mean, it WAS helpful on the farm this mornin." Her mood slowly brightened as she explained in needless detail that Rainbow Dash bore heroically. She couldn't stifle a laugh when she explained about her older brother's jealousy at not receiving an invitation to the test trail. The pegasus was laughing right along side of her mare as she reached the end of her story. "Anyway, we got done so fast that Big Mac could just skip off the rest of the day n be with Sugar Belle, if ya know what I mean." Applejack said suggestively.

Rainbow's laughter stopped suddenly and she grew pensive. Applejack noticed the sudden change and sat upright. "Shug? Somethin wrong?"

The pegasus blushed and fiddled with her hooves. "Well, I mean, about that." She cleared her throat and looked away. "I mean that's part of the reason I'm home so early."

Applejack understood the implication and she was momentarily taken aback. "Oh Dashie!" She drew closer to her mare and wrapped her forelegs around her. "Well, after the day Ah've had a roll in the hay mahght be nahce." She leaned in for a kiss, but Rainbow pulled away unexpectedly.

The pegasus stood all the way up and seemed to not want to make eye contact. "Well, I mean, it's just that." She cleared her throat and breathed deeply. "Twilight said not to use the jetpacks anymore and. . ."

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "What does that have to do with anythin?"

Rainbow looked about guiltily and put her mouth right next to her mare's ear. Applejack's face grew redder and redder as Rainbow explained the idea that had been filling her mind all afternoon. The earth pony stared at the pegasus in surprise when she finally pulled her head away. "It's the normal way for pegasus, but we never could before because you couldn't fly. But now with the jetpack we could! But Twilight said we can't use them anymore so. . ."

Applejack got to her hooves, her cheeks red as apples. "Wayull. . . Just. . . One more tahme couldn't hurt. . ." The two hustled to Rainbow's section of the house and the pegasus opened the door. Applejack slowly, with a bit of guilt, raised herself off of the ground and the two entered the hallway hoof in hoof. The earth pony's eyes sparkled as she saw how her mare had decorated the house. Applejack only ever used the cloud walking spell on special occasions, and Rainbow slept in her bed most nights anyway, so she didn't have much reason to enter the cloud sanctuary.

Rainbow Dash pulled her mare close and instructed her on how to perform the act in air. It took a few moments of awkward positioning, but soon the two found that they very much enjoyed this method of making love. They proceeded to continue in the action until they were cut short by Applejack's jetpack beginning to stutter and stall. With a tremendous groan the farmer used the last bit of her fuel to make it back to the solid floor of the house. She lay in the doorway, panting heavily, only now realizing just how exhausted she was.

Rainbow slowly limped her way to beside her mare and flopped down on the floor beside her, equally winded. "Awesome. . . Doesnt. . . Even." She couldn't continue. She lay her head against her mare's chest and Applejack wrapped her forelegs around the puffing pegasus. After a long moment she whispered. "I owe Twilight a VERY big thank you."

Applejack chuckled weakly and whispered. "Shoot, Ah mahght never take this thing off!"